Chapter 52 – The Venom In Our Veins

The Basilias were filled with Shadowhunters. Malik took me and Adam to one of the Basilias's spacious treatment rooms. There, the Silent Brothers were already taking care of Jace. He lay lifeless on one of the many beds while the shrouded figures glided silently around him. The silence made it a hundred times worse. If they had been talking frantically, if Jace had been screaming, then I would have known something was up. But like this ... All I could do was stare at Jace wide-eyed, hoping that he would finally move, that he would finally open his lids to meet my gaze with his gold-rimmed pupils.

But Jace remained perfectly still. All blood had drained from his face and he was so pale that my paralyzed body began to tremble. Adam, crouched on the bed next to me, pushed the reaction to the cold and threw a blanket over me. Our injuries were not serious, so the Brothers took their time treating us. I didn't care. I just wanted them to bring Jace back to life. No matter how. Just so I could see his mischievous grin once more, hear his daring voice once more, feel his warm fingers against my skin once more.

Eventually, Silent Brothers came to assess Adam's injury and I forced my eyes on the Brother; forced me to follow Adam's treatment instead of Jace's. They injected him with an antidote to the poison. The same thing that someone injected me shortly afterwards. Then they cleaned the cut in his chest and had an Iratze do the work. I also got an Iratze for my hands, which still hadn't stopped bleeding up to that point. By the time they were done with us, Adam and I had already bled all over our mattresses, but nobody here cared. Once the Brothers finished their jobs with us, they would wander over to Jace's bedside to help the others there.

A moment later the Inquisitor burst in. She didn't look at either of us until she had checked on Jace's health. Then she wandered over to us and demanded that we relive every detail of the past few hours. I told her about Jace, who had already been defeated when I had entered the hall, and how I had fought Jonathan. Adam recounted his arrival, how he had gotten Jace out of the line of fire and then turned himself in to Jonathan after I had been brought down. When we asked how Jace was doing, she curtly replied that he would survive. A huge weight fell from my heart and I could see that Imogen also looked more than relieved. It did not prevent her from cross-examining us, although we ourselves were still in the Basilias for observation; although we lay on the wet pools of our own blood.

"If your brother was in the training hall before you were there, Clarissa, then he must've known exactly where you would be," Imogen said in a firm, bitter voice. Jonathan's wounding of Jace must have reignited old anger toward my father. I was glad she hadn't yet blamed me for any of this. "You've been back training at the Gard for less than a week. Someone must've told him where you would be."

"We have a traitor in our ranks," Adam stated, gritting his teeth. His bare chest was bandaged, even though it wasn't really necessary after the Iratze. His brown hair still hung in sweaty strands over his forehead.

"It has to be easy to find out. So many couldn't have known about our training, could they?" I asked the Inquisitor, but she shook her head uneasily.

"Your training is no secret. Consul Malachi, Malik, you and I officially knew about it, but anyone could have told anyone else. You haven't kept secret from your families where you go every morning. And enough Nephilim see you in the Gard. It really could have been anyone."

I was too exhausted to worry about it any longer. Instead, I told them my theory of how Jonathan got into the city in the first place. "His Shadowhunter blood must have made it possible."

A plausible explanation that made both Adam and the Inquisitor look rather unhappy. "We need to reinforce the guards. We can't leave an inch of the city limits unattended. Maybe the Shadowworlder training session that Alec Lightwood has set up can help us with that," Imogen mused, clearly reluctant to leave the city's security in the hands of the Downworlders. But she was right. Alone, we weren't enough Nephilim to guard the borders.

"I'll go and arrange this immediately," she finally continued, getting ready to leave. "Two more things, Clarissa. First, rumors about your portal are already doing the rounds. So far, we've been able to keep your abilities secret from the public, but enough Shadowhunters have seen it today. But you're probably already used to people staring. Second, next time you get the chance to use one of your runes to incapacitate your brother, I'd appreciate it if you didn't portal him away. Critical voices could interpret it as if you helped him escape."

"You and everyone present know that I certainly didn't want to help him escape," I answered as dryly as possible, but anger crept into my voice. After everything this morning had brought me so far, I didn't have the nerve to listen to something like this. "If I had known another rune to knock him out, I would have used it."

"Then we have to make sure you get better," was all Imogen said before she left the room.

"Will she ever stop despising you?" Adam's voice was a pure murmur, so low that I wasn't even sure if he was actually speaking to me.

I turned sideways on the mattress to face him. His emerald green eyes met mine and a shadow crossed his face as he saw the seriousness on mine. He probably remembered our argument out of the blue, as did I. The adrenaline and surprise had pushed it into the background.

"You saved Jace's and my life earlier," I whispered over the stillness of the infirmary. The Silent Brothers were now retired and Jace was sound asleep, unmoving. He would be unconscious for quite a while. "I didn't expect you to stand in my brother's way. I would have understood if you hadn't. Thank you for doing it anyway, Adam."

The corner of his lips lifted slightly and the uncertain darkness vanished from Adam's gaze. "Don't thank me. I wasn't much help, after all it didn't take Jonathan five minutes to inflict this wound on me", he laughed and with his fingertips tapped the bandage that was wrapped around his bare chest.

"You bought us time until the other Nephilim arrived. Without you, Jonathan would have either killed or abducted me", I replied and squeezed my eyelids together because I was gradually getting tired. I felt the poison hesitantly withdraw from my body. After all the exertion of fighting Jonathan, I could probably sleep until tomorrow morning.

"I would do it again," Adam said firmly, and I believed him. Our eyes were still on each other's. His features took on a sad note. "Let's talk about what happened on the roof of Blake's house."

I was glad he brought it up. Part of me was hoping he'd bring it up. So many theories had been floating around in my head for the past week that I was only getting more frustrated with each new one. I still wanted to believe Adam was my friend, even if he was on Blake's side instead of mine. So I nodded, waiting, hoping that his explanation would make sense because I didn't want to lose him as a friend forever, even though my stomach was sinking at the thought of just forgiving him.

Adam leaned back on his hospital bed, folded his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling above us. "Blake and I have been friends forever. In fact, he was my very first friend. We lived our entire childhood together at the Toronto Institute, his parents run the Institute there and my parents are friends of his, so it just so happened that my siblings and I mostly stayed there while they travelled the world." He turned to face me, but his eyes seemed distant, as if he were looking into the past. "He wasn't always like this, you know? He was a funny boy with crazy ideas that turned out to be more and more daring as we got older. Blake wasn't a bad kid, he's not a bad person today either, but ... his parents have a very radical view of our world, even more conservative than Malachi and his people. They passed their views on to Blake. He was brought up to think and act the way he does today."

"It doesn't make up for what he did to me, Adam. Or what he did to other creatures," I interrupted bitterly. The thought of Blake still made my emotions flare like adding fuel to the fire. An anger that never seemed to end, that I could barely control if I focused on it.

"What Blake did is far from terrible, Clary. Trust me when I assure you that I don't endorse any of this. I was about to end my friendship with him when I found out," Adam quickly stated before I could jump into more theories. "The world isn't black and white. You are important to me, very important. But Blake ... I've known him my whole life. He was my only real friend until you showed up."

"I understand that," I admitted. It was the truth. I knew how difficult it was to turn your back on the people you loved, even when every fiber of your body rebelled against it. "But you have to let go of people like that. There comes a point when you can no longer stand on the sidelines and watch. Even friendship has limits. Don't be as blind as my father's friends were when they followed him into this ideological war that took their lives."

A long silence followed and I couldn't decide if it was a good or bad silence. Adam held out his left hand and I held out my fingers to him. His skin felt warm and rough against mine. "He also has good sides, even if these rarely come out these days. I'm afraid that if I leave, this sides will disappear completely. The people he surrounds himself with aren't good for him."

He's the kind of person who doesn't do others any good, I wanted to say, but my mouth tightened. Blake meant something to him, that was clear. It was also clear that Blake had an influence on him. There was no other way I could explain how Adam could talk about him like that. I pulled my hand back and pulled the blanket Adam had just thrown over me tighter around my body.

"I see why you were so angry on the roof the other day and yes it was a mistake to comply with Blake's request to wait for you there. But I wanted to avoid this conflict with all my might. I knew you'd never talk to Blake, but you'd talk to me. At least that's what I thought." Listening to Adam talk made the exhaustion run through my limbs further. His soft, even voice had an almost lulling effect, although the content of his words should trigger the opposite in me. He was just so good at talking and convincing people that even I couldn't stop myself. "Blake's death would only make the situation worse. Do you think his family or the others in his group would just sit there in silence? They would do anything to finish what he started."

"What is this group, Adam? What are Blake and his friends doing to make even the Clave look the other way? Are you part of it?"

Adam shook his head vehemently. "I'm definitely not one of his men," he said firmly. His eyes locked purposefully on mine and the expression in them was final. There was no room for discussion here. He wanted me to be absolutely clear on that, and I was relieved that he would state that fact so bluntly. "I'm friends with Blake, but I don't have much to do with his other friends. Which is for the better because some of them are really bad."

"But what are they doing to scare everyone?"

"I don't know much about that. They tell outsiders next to nothing about it. Hence the many rumours. For my part, I think there's more hype than anything else. Blake has a big mouth, a short temper and his mind-boggling views, but I honestly don't think he'd hunt and kill Downworlders. That would be a size too big even for him. How is he supposed to cover that up? Something like that would make the rounds in the Shadow World in a flash and then his family wouldn't be able to help him either." Adam shrugged his shoulders in disbelief, as if he wanted to shake the mere thought of it from himself.

Blake had wanted to kill me. In Alicante. Although there Jace had been with me. Jace who was the Inquisitor's grandson. What was reported about him did not strike me as far-fetched as Adam made it out to be. Maybe they weren't hunting the Shadowworlders in Idris, but that didn't mean anything. He lived in Toronto. Canada had huge nature reserves. Forests of such enormous proportions that it couldn't be too difficult to let a clan of werewolves simply disappear without a great deal of fanfare. And since when did the Clave care about a Downworlder's concern for which there was no clear evidence?

"I hope I was able to bring my side of the story closer to you," Adam finally continued after a long pause. "It's up to you if you want to forgive me."

Did I want to forgive Adam? Yes, definitely. Did I believe his story? Yes, because if I couldn't believe him, how could we ever be friends again? I had to hope and trust that he was telling me the truth. So I nodded. "I forgive you," I said. "But you have to realize that you won't be able to remain neutral forever."

Adam looked down thoughtfully and at the same moment the door was thrown open. Our heads snapped around, we were already halfway up. After the recent events, this reaction was not surprising. Adam began cursing silently as Isabelle appeared in the doorway, her graceful frame armed to the teeth as if she were about to go to war. Behind her, Alec loomed, his sea-blue eyes fixed on Jace.

"Really, Jonathan Morgenstern breaks into the Gard and I only find out about it hours later," Isabelle snorted, shaking her head, and stalked into the room. Her worried expression, in stark contrast to the untouchable voice, was on Jace and she wandered over to his sickbed to make sure he was alive before turning to me and Adam. She grabbed her weapon-belt and handed each of us one of her platinum-colored daggers. "If he dares to come back, at least you have a second weapon."

"Strictly speaking, Jonathan didn't break in at all," Adam remarked, but accepted the dagger with a grateful nod.

"Never mind," Isabelle waved him off and sat on the edge of my bed. Alec settled into the chair at Jace's side. He looked tired, as if he had hardly slept all night. "How's Jace?"

"The Inquisitor says he'll be fine," I explained. "Otherwise nobody told us anything."

Isabelle sighed and patted my shoulder. "Imogen is … difficult. I'm assuming she'd let you know if he didn't make it." She rolled her eyes dismissively. "But now to you … are you alright? Tell me everything that happened!"

Adam and I exchanged a quick look, he nodded at me and so I started recounting how I had gotten into the training hall and Jace and Jonathan had already been fighting. Isabelle and Alec listened in silence, their faces pale and frustrated. As I finished summarizing the past few hours, Alec jumped out of his chair as if his body were electrified.

"Why didn't you mention right away that the Inquisitor wanted to speak to me? In any case, we must prevent your brother from somehow sneaking back into the city." Alec's voice was harsh and agitated. This was his Parabatai, lying there in bed and not moving. It probably even physically hurt him that Jace had been injured and poisoned.

"Do you think your Downworlders stand a chance of securing the borders?" Adam asked critically, his brow furrowed. Again, there was this reserved skepticism about the Shadowworlders. The way he was staring at Alec made me uneasy, though I couldn't put a figure on why.

"Those aren't my Downworlders, Demonhunter," Alec growled, crossing his arms across his broad chest in annoyance. "And stop calling them that. Call them Shadowworlders, if you please, or if you only mean a certain group then call them warlocks or vampires or whatever. Downworlders is a disrespectful word and they've earned every respect after centuries of us treating them like shit."

Adam raised his arms reassuringly. "Hey, I didn't mean to upset you, okay? Shadowworlders. Got it!"

"Good." Alec's dark features screamed everything, but certainly not good. However, it was good to know how seriously he took his role as a delegate. He looked at Isabelle and me and some of the darkness disappeared. "I'd rather go and make sure that we can send the first patrols to the borders today."

Alec stalked out the door and Isabelle's wide umber eyes followed him dreamily. "If only all politicians were like him," she whispered, sounding proud through and through. A proud sister who watched as her brother made the world a little better place. "Then there wouldn't be a damn war just around the corner."

"I don't know," Adam said. Now that Alec was gone, he seemed a little more relaxed about voicing his criticism. "Can we really trust the Shadowworlders to look after our city?"

"Do we have any other choice?" A weak voice croaked from the other corner of the room at that moment and all three of us jerked our heads towards Jace's hospital bed.

"Jace, you're awake!" Squeaking, Isabelle jumped off my bloody mattress and ran to his side. "You scared the hell out of me, you idiot! I really thought you had what it takes to beat Jonathan!"

Lie or not, I wasn't sure. Maybe Isabelle just underestimated Jonathan, like everyone else. Adam slowly sat up in his bed, testing his feet on the floor, and then got up. His bright eyes wandered to me and he raised his eyebrows questioningly. "In need of help, ma'am?" His lips twisted into a nonchalant grin.

I rolled my eyes and touched the ground with my feet. The world was still spinning, though now the poison was only pulsing in the background of my perception. Adam, who must have seen something on my face, came over and helped me to my feet. I dug my fingers into his bare back to stay upright.

"This poison really blows my mind," I admitted through pursed lips. I gave Adam a questioning sideways glance. "How come you can walk?"

"Well, first he caught Jace with the sword, then he cut your palm with it and then me," he shrugged and put his arm around my waist as we moved step by step towards Jace's bed. The remaining poison, while no longer paralyzing me, continued to do its best to lock my muscles. I staggered and had to brace myself against Adam to keep from falling over. "The dagger he threw was fresh. You must have gotten the full load of his venom."

Jace and Isabelle stared at us, expressions unreadable, as we walked past the bed and Adam slowly lowered me into the chair Alec had been sitting in earlier. I allowed myself a second to relax before nodding my thanks to Adam and finally shifting my attention to Jace. His fevered golden eyes rested on me and were only half open as if even that took an effort.

"You were right, we didn't die," I blurted out, worried so much about his death that I hadn't given any thought to what would happen if he survived. Now, my panic from before, when we had been lying on the floor of the training hall, paralyzed and bleeding out, seemed kind of silly to me. And like an eternity had passed since that moment.

Jace's dry lips curled into what was supposed to be a smile. "Of course I was right." He coughed and his smile widened. And there it was: That crooked grin that I had wanted to see one last time. "You always drift into your bubble of failure far too quickly that you forget to consider all the possibilities." I knew Jace didn't mean it as criticism, but I felt my face close to him nonetheless. His eyes reflected knowingly, as if he could read my mind. He opened his mouth, but Isabelle forestalled him.

"Okay, I'm sure you understand that I'm going to skip the whole How are you, Jace?- and Oh, you were almost murdered by Jonathan Morgenstern?-part. I've heard Clary's side of the story, but you're the only one who might know how Jonathan got into the Gard. So speak up!" Only Isabelle had the self-confidence to approach someone who had just almost died like that.

Jace didn't seem too surprised, after all they'd been living under the same roof for ages. His pale features hardened as he thought back to the events of the past few hours. His eyes searched mine again and as we locked eyes, I knew he was thinking of the moment he had bend over to me; when his fingers had brushed mine; when I had started crying because I thought he was going to die. I lowered my eyes abruptly.

"Jonathan was already there when I entered the hall," Jace whispered after pausing for a few moments. "One of the windows was open, which wasn't unusual at first, and I didn't think anything of it. He climbed up the facade and waited on the windowsill. I've no idea what he was thinking when he saw that Clary wasn't with me. He could have waited longer, but instead he jumped in through the window." I could feel his eyes on me again. When I looked up, the gold was frozen in his iris. "He asked about you, wanted to know where you were. I knew you'd show up eventually, and so did Jonathan. All he said was that you'd soon come to realize that you're on the wrong side. He said it over and over again. You'll see, when the time comes, Clary will stand by my side and watch you burn."

The words sent a shiver down my spine. I shook my head violently, which shot a stab through my temples, and ran my hands over my upper arms, shivering. "That makes no sense. Jonathan was hostile to me. He wanted to kill me."

Jace gave the slightest shrug. "I think he's chasing his own imagination, and you're a part of it. You're still his sister. Except for your father, you're the only person in this world who meant anything to him before his transformation. Maybe that's still stuck in his head."

"But he killed our mother and he cared about her too," I retorted weakly. Weeks later, talking about her death was just as bad as it had been the day it had happened. The pain shot through my stomach with such hardness that I clawed my fingers into the back of the chair.

"Valentine transformed him with Lilith's blood. Lilith is the mother of all demons and so now his mother. Isn't that what he said that day in New York when …" Jace broke off when he saw the blank look on my face. "However. That doesn't really matter anyway."

"I don't think Jonathan wanted to kill you," Adam said. "Even though he was angry that you saved Jace's life, he had multiple opportunities to end it. Maybe he thought your death was the right thing to do. Maybe he would have killed you because he couldn't control his emotions. He poisoned us all with a plan to immobilize us. With Jace and me down, it would have been easy to just take you if you weren't able to fight back."

"Jonathan wanted to take me with him," I confirmed, narrowing my eyes in concentration. "He wore the ring that he and my father had used to vanish in New York. I was just lucky my rune was faster than he was."

"Okay, you stubborn idiots," Isabelle cut in now, obviously irritated about something. "Remember the rule Imogen imposed on Clary when she first set foot in Alicante? We're going to reintroduce that now. Clary, starting today, you won't be walking around alone anymore. And I don't give a damn if you conflict with Adam or avoid Jace. From now on you'll swallow your pride. You don't have to talk to them, just walk together."

I glared at Isabelle. The need to argue vehemently against it was unbearable. "I'm not a child, Isabelle, I can–"

"No, you obviously can't," she replied matter-of-factly. "Then Jonathan would either be in chains or dead." That silenced me pretty quickly. Isabelle's eyes softened. "I don't mean that in a bad way, Clary. Honestly not. But let's face the facts honestly."

I tried to ignore pride and pain and didn't answer. Instead, Adam opened his mouth. He had a habit of saying exactly what I didn't want to hear at the exact time. "It's a good thing Clary and I just made up." He showed me his teeth smugly and I had a hard time not grimacing in reply. "I'll just pick her up for training."

"I don't care how you do it. Since Jace and Clary live under the same roof, they can also just go to training together. But work that out between yourselves," Isabelle remarked with a new sharpness in her voice that made me look up in wonder.

"Speaking of which," Adam interjected, his winning gaze fixed on me. "You look tired. I'm doing fine. How about I take you home?"

"I can take her home too," Isabelle cut in before I could open my mouth.

"Yeah, but in her condition she's not exactly a lightweight. I just want to help." Adam shrugged and brushed a matted strand of light brown hair from his forehead.

"But Clary can't go home," she interjected and then squeezed my hand as if to prevent me from making a decision. "As soon as she's better, we're going to go into town to have our dresses made for the ball."

My brows shot up and my puzzled eyes met Isabelle's. Questioning. That was the first time I heard about this. "Are we?"

Isabelle nodded cheerfully. "Oh yeah! We're going to be the best dressed women at the ball, I promise you. The men will be lining up to dance with us."

I gaped at Isabelle as if she were speaking a foreign language. "You don't seriously think this ceremony with the Shadowworlders is going to be such a big deal, do you?" The ceremony was to be similar to the signing of the Accords in the Accords Hall so many years ago. To publicly confirm the new alliance between Shadowhunters and Shadowworlders. It was supposed to be no more than an hour event, where some political speeches were made, and the Council shook hands with the Inquisitor and Consul.

"You bet it's going to be a big deal! I've already planned everything. Everyone knows except Imogen, Malachi, and Alec. But I'll let Alec in on it. Magnus's helping me with the preparations. Luke's already spread the message to the clans. I'm telling you Clary, this is going to be a blast and we're going to look amazing!"

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. My head was pounding but I ignored it. "How are you going to keep such great preparations a secret? You're going to be in trouble if it turns out you planned this!"

"By then the party will already be in full swing and Imogen unable to change anything anymore." Isabelle grinned mischievously. "Sorry Jace, nothing personal. But you know what she's like." Jace just rolled his eyes in response.

"I can accompany you to the dress-shop then," Adam suggested.

"No way!" Isabelle exclaimed, his eyes widening. "Be agentleman for once and take the bait, Adam. Clary isn't going anywhere with you today."

"I just wanted to be polite," Adam replied, confused, a hint of hostility creeping into his tone. As always when his will was denied. "Besides, Clary can decide for herself what she wants and what she doesn't."

"Seriously Adam. You offer to accompany her to a clothing store. You really must think of something better!" Isabelle shook her head theatrically and then added in a whisper. "How unromantic."

I chose to skillfully ignore that comment and instead addressed Adam directly. "Don't take it personally. Isabelle just wants to make her princess ball come true, it has nothing to do with you. If she already has this all planned, I don't want to be the spoilsport."

Adam looked like he was about to argue, but then bit his tongue. "As you wish. I think I'll head home then. I'm sure my family wants to know how I'm doing too." He sounded formal and distant. At least until he only spoke to me. "If I stop by your place tonight, no one will freak out, will they?"

A smile crept onto his lips, which I automatically returned. "I'll be waiting."

"See you later then," Adam said, nodding to Jace, who was silently watching our conversation, and finally disappeared. As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, Isabelle's facade fell.

"You lied about the dresses, didn't you?" I asked into the emerging silence.

Isabelle shook her head slowly. "Not quite. I just chose and bought them already."

"So why all this?" The silence made my skin tingle uncomfortably.

"Trusting Adam again isn't a good idea, Clary," Isabelle said monotonously, but she didn't manage to meet my eyes. Instead, hers rested on Jace, as if hoping he would agree.

"He's my best friend," I replied clearly.

"He's your first friend. He manipulates you as he can. You of all should notice how his voice changes when he's talking to you or how his posture changes when he speaks only to you."

"Izzy's right," Jace murmured. "We've known him longer than you have. We know how he usually acts. He desperately wants to be your friend no matter what. And then there's the whole Blake thing. Doesn't that strike you as odd?"

"He explained it to me," I replied, feeling rather stupid all of a sudden, although I didn't know why. The explanation Adam had given me for his connection to Blake was so simple, so easy to believe. But was it really true?

"He's lying." Jace's voice was sure and determined. "His closeness to Blake and the way he talks about Shadowworlders ... It fits together too well to be a coincidence."

"He's just careful," I countered coldly. "Now is everyone a part of Blake's group just because they're skeptical of the Shadowworlders? If that's the definition, I'd have to be one of them too. Adam isn't part of Blake's group, he's assured me of that. They're good friends, yes, but ..." I stopped in mid-sentence, realizing what I was doing. I was doing exactly what Adam had done that night on the Ashdown's rooftop: trying to make excuses. And now it was me who defended Adam's friendship with Blake. Blake was still trying to kill me. My mouth clicked shut and I closed my eyes because I felt so stupid.

"Izzy, would it be okay if Clary and I had a little private talk?" I heard Jace ask.

Isabelle answered something and I could tell from her tone that she was pouting. But she walked out of the room, leaving Jace and me alone.

"Right at the beginning, when you'd just arrived in New York," Jace began, and I opened my eyes just in time to see his head turn in my direction. He seemed so weak, so fragile, my fingers instinctively went to Eosphoros. If Jonathan showed up now, he would be finished. "We had every reason to be suspicious. It was a legitimate reaction. But Adam ignored the fact that you are Valentine Morgenstern's daughter from the very first moment. How come?"

I lifted my head and felt defiance surge through me. "Maybe he's a better person than you."

"You know that's not true," Jace countered, and of course he was right. Isabelle was one of the best people I had met since my escape. Suddenly I feared my comment about Adam being my best friend had hurt her. And Jace ... there was a reason I had saved his life again. "So why?"

"Gaining your trust when you have no one else to turn to is a smart move. Risky yes, because he couldn't know for sure whether you were actually on his side. But, Clary, you have a power that you're not even aware of. You saw what your speech before the Clave caused in the Nephilim. Many despise you, sure, but you're Valentine Morgenstern's daughter. You'll always be listened to."

"So you're saying Adam only befriended me because ... yeah, why? Because he wants my power? Adam's not a politician. What could he hope to gain from it?"

"That's the point, I have no idea. But his actions make no sense to me. Or maybe he's just being nice, but if there's anything I know about the Nephilim, it's that it's hard for them to look beyond their own perspectives."

"And you don't think he just wants to be friends with me because he likes me?" I asked, and saying it out loud only made it worse. The pain pounded through me again. "The thought of someone just liking meis more outlandish than befriending me for some hidden purpose?"

"I didn't say that," Jace shot back, sighing at the pain on my face. "I did not say that. If anyone should hate you, it would be me. Lo and behold, I can't. So you can't be that bad."

"If that's a compliment, it's a pretty bad one," I retorted curtly. "And your hatred of me is unjustified because I'm not to blame. You said so yourself."

"And I just said that I do not hate you." His lips curled up in a gentle smile, then his eyes traveled down to my legs. "Can you come sit on the bed by yourself?"

"Maybe." The distance from the chair to the bed wasn't far. I pressed my hands against the arms of the chair to pull myself to my feet. They trembled beneath me. I staggered, sucking air noisily into my lungs as I stumbled forward. Jace tried to get up, but the poison in his veins must be as strong as mine. My fingers gripped his mattress and I pressed my lips together with difficulty, forcing my feet to remain functional. I hoisted myself to my feet and would have probably fallen off the bed in a moment if Jace's fingers hadn't gripped my wrist. "Thanks."

Jace ignored my change of scenery and continued as if I had been sitting on the bed next to him the entire time. He tilted his head back and I felt myself lost in the gold of his eyes. We were close. Almost as close as when he had bent over me and stroked my cheek with his bloody hand.

"Seeing you lie there was awful," Jace ground out, his voice low and hoarse. Of course I knew immediately what he was talking about. I was already there with my own thoughts. "I was just waiting for Jonathan to ram his sword through your chest. I thought he was going to kill you and that I would have to watch, unable to do anything."

"I was thinking the same thing when I burst into the hall," I admitted. His warm hand, still gripping my wrist, wandered down to my fingers. It was like I could finally breathe freely again. Up to this point I hadn't even noticed this burden pressing down on my chest like an invisible weight. Now that his skin touched mine, all that dissolved. "I thought that Jonathan would kill you. You were already half dead."

A laugh escaped Jace's throat and he squeezed my hand so hard I had the feeling he wasn't going to let go anytime soon. "You saved my life again today. I thought after I rode you back to Alicante we'd be even." His smirk was genuine and I felt my cheeks flush. "We need to stop saving each other's lives all the time."

"No," I said, shaking my head and interlocked my fingers with his. "We should never stop."

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