Author's Note: Well holy sheep shit people you're not going to believe it...I actually succeeded in updating this bitch!
At least I can breathe a sigh of relief in knowing that I beat ScrewAttack to the punch before they could end up turning this into a "Death Battle" episode, unlike my luck in the case of "Lara Croft vs. Nathan Drake."
Now that I've gotten that out of the way it's on with the story!
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(A Caucasian man with short, slicked back black hair and blue eyes stands clad in black combat gear with a large white skull on his chest. He points an HK416 with an attached grenade launcher at the screen.)
The Punisher: The tough-as-nails ex-Marine who has declared a one man war on crime...
(The Punisher methodically shoots his way through a group of thugs with his assault rifle.)
vs.
(A dark brown-haired Caucasian man is shown wearing a black sport coat, white dress shirt, leopard-print tie and gray slacks. He readies a SPAS-12 assault shotgun.)
Max Payne: The vengeful cop turned vigilante who has brought down numerous criminal conspiracies, leaving a trail of dead numbering in the hundreds.
(Max Payne darts from behind cover to drop numerous thugs with repeated blasts from his shotgun.)
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, we've assembled a team of world class fighters to test history's most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when two warriors go toe to toe.
No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
Here in our elite fight club we have gathered doctors, medical scientists and weapons experts to test out the lethal arsenals wielded by each of our combatants to determine who would win a fight between warriors who never met in a face to face duel:
The Punisher
First Appearance: Amazing Spider Man Issue No. 129 (February 1974)
Height: 6' 3"
Weight: 210 lbs.
Armor: Kevlar Vest
Max Payne
First Appearance: Max Payne (2001)
Height: 5' 11"
Weight: 195 lbs.
Armor: None
"Man oh man, we are looking to have ourselves quite the bloodbath today: a battle between two vigilantes with a combined body count numbering in the thousands. We are having The Punisher, Marvel's own one man army who has fought everybody from lowly drug dealers to super-powered villains and he is taking on Max Payne, the rogue detective turned fugitive who has taken on everybody from corrupt businessmen to armies of heavily armed trained killers. The only thing certain is that the bullets are going to fly by the hundreds," biomedical scientist Bradley Foster started.
"Guns, guns and more guns are all you can think about when it comes to these two and these are guys who use them very well. I can't even decide who is the deadlier of the two," computer whiz Eddie Cortez spoke.
"These are two men who are very physically hardened from their training and previous combat experience, with The Punisher having received extensive special operations training during his time in the United States Marine Corps and Max Payne being both a former NYPD homicide detective and DEA agent, but the one factor we cannot overlook is their psychological health," trauma doctor Joseph Kaiser added.
"Both of these men were spurred into action by great personal trauma. The Punisher personally witnessed his own family slain right before his very eyes, whereas Max Payne discovered the dead bodies of his wife and infant daughter following a home invasion that turned out to be part of a much greater conspiracy at hand. That's enough to screw with anybody's head and you know they're not always going to be rushing into battle in the most stable frame of mind, adding a level of unpredictability for their enemies," the good doctor concluded.
A middle-aged man with sandy blond hair and wearing a tan trench coat is shown loading clips into two separate Colt M1911A1 pistols. Behind him is a bulletin board lined with pictures of The Punisher.
Here to provide some historical insight on The Punisher is NYPD detective Martin Soap.
Originally assigned to track down the infamous vigilante, the detective would instead find himself becoming a reluctant informant and assisting him in taking on powerful crime families.
"This man, I swear to you he ain't human. He has killed hundreds of some of the most vicious criminals you could ever think of, and they still haven't been able to take him down," the detective commented.
He was soon joined by a blonde-haired woman with an athletic build and clad in a replica of the Punisher's armor. She picks up an M203 grenade launcher and attaches it to an HK416 assault rifle.
Helping test the weapons of The Punisher is Lynn Michaels.
Originally an officer with the NYPD, she would find herself helping The Punisher to bring down a serial rapist and at one point would even become a vigilante herself as the Lady Punisher.
"The NYPD, the Feds and none of the major criminal organizations he's crossed paths with have been able to hold The Punisher down. What makes some pill popping wash out think he'd ever stand a chance?" she smirked.
Serving with distinction as a captain in the United States Marine Corps during the Vietnam War, Frank Castle had just settled into a peaceful life with his family and was enjoying a picnic in Central Park, when they unwittingly stumbled across a mob hit. Not wanting any witnesses, the mobsters gunned down the entire family, leaving the veteran Marine as the sole survivor.
"He tried going to the authorities for help, but the mob had such a tight grip on the police and the courts that his family's attackers were allowed to walk. Knowing he had no other options, he was forced to take matters into his own hands," Lynn explained.
Frank Castle would begin a one man war on crime, now calling himself "The Punisher" and become one of the world's most feared vigilantes, eliminating several powerful underworld figures in a killing spree that has gone on for decades and is rumored to have claimed more than 2,000 lives.
"The man is like a ghost. He drops in, raises hell, and then disappears back into the shadows like nothing happened. I hate to talk down to a fellow officer of the law, but I'm not liking this Payne guy's chances," Martin concluded.
The one man army storms into battle with an arsenal large enough to supply a small nation:
Short Range: Twin Colt M1911A1 Pistols
Mid-Range: Benelli M4 Super 90
Long Range: HK416
Explosive Weapon: M203 Grenade Launcher
But today, The Punisher finds himself pitted against a renegade cop with nothing to lose.
A Colombian man with curly black hair covered by a blue baseball cap and wearing a blue tactical vest over a white t-shirt makes some final inspections over an H&K G36 assault rifle.
Here to test the weapons for Max Payne is Raul Passos.
A former NYPD detective turned bodyguard, Raul was instrumental in recruiting Max to work for his employer Rodrigo Branco. Having personally fought alongside Payne, he can attest to the vigilante's persistence and brutality.
"Max Payne has stared death in the eye more times than you could ever count and still walked away in the end. There's no way he would be afraid of some guy in a Halloween costume," Raul spoke.
Raul is soon joined by another dark-haired man in a light blue button up shirt, checking over the sights of a Taurus PT92 handgun.
Also on hand to represent Max Payne is Wilson Da Silva.
A police detective from Sao Paolo, Brazil, Da Silva became acquainted with Payne while taking on the corrupt UFE police unit and Cracha Preto paramilitary group, both of which were linked to the disappearances of residents from the Sao Paolo favelas. Their investigation would lead to a much greater conspiracy at hand leading all the way up to Senator Victor Branco.
"I was there when Max took down Branco and I can tell you that man fears nothing and nobody. This Punisher guy won't stand a chance when he hunts something he can't kill," Wilson added.
Max Payne was once a loving husband and father who worked as a homicide detective with the NYPD. His life would change forever when he would return home to find his wife and infant daughter murdered by junkies following a home invasion. He would soon join the DEA as an undercover operative in an effort to learn more about the new designer drug "Valkyr" and root out those responsible for his family's death.
"He found himself caught up in a conspiracy that extended far beyond a simple home invasion gone to shit, one that would lead to him being framed for a murder he did not commit, and from there all the way up to the person who ordered the murder of his family, CEO of the Aesir Corporation, Nicole Horne" Raul explained.
After killing Horne, Max would return to the NYPD and find himself caught up in another gang war in which he was betrayed by his former associate Vladimir Lem, and then later found himself down in Sao Paolo, Brazil, where he battled gangs, rogue law enforcement groups caught up in an illegal organ smuggling operation, and corrupt politicans.
"He was a man with nothing to lose. With no reason to live, he is more than willing to do whatever it takes to eliminate his target, even if it means he has to run head on into a room full of armed goons. This Punisher is a dead man walking," Wilson concluded.
The rogue vigilante comes in guns blazing with his own stockpile of killing machines:
Short Range: Twin Taurus PT92 Pistols
Mid-Range: SPAS-12
Long Range: H&K G36
Explosive Weapon: M79 Grenade Launcher
To kick things off, we start out with their close range handguns. The Punisher opens fire with a pistol that was the standard sidearm of the U.S. military for over 60 years, the Colt Model 1911A1.
(The Punisher is shown gunning down a gang member in cold blood with 3 rounds from his Colt.)
Colt Model 1911A1
Semi-automatic
Length: 8 in.
Weight: 2 lbs.
Cartridge: .45 ACP
Clip Size: 7 Rounds (14 with 2)
"This gun has been in use since the first World War and is still used today by the likes of Delta Force and the Marine Force Recon," Martin said pulling out two pistols simultaneously.
"Well then we're going to see how it has stood the test of time," Bradley said motioning to the shooting range behind them, where 4 different foam targets had been set up at different positions, "Right now we have set up a scenario where you are about to be rushed by 4 mobsters at once and you have two guns at once with a full clip for each. Think you're up for the task?"
"You know it," Martin answered and got into position 50 feet away from the targets.
"Then let 'em have it!"
Martin raised both pistols and fired into the two targets closest to him, tearing large chunks out of their foam facades and then focusing on the farther away targets, managing to barely hit both of them before his guns clicked empty.
Dr. Kaiser made his way over to assess the damage and started out with the closer targets.
"I'm taking a close look at the size of the bullet holes and the chunks of skin torn away, that's a testament to the stopping power of these guns. You managed to score strikes to the chest and throat for instant kills."
He then made his way over to check out the remaining targets and zeroed in on a hole near the shoulder of the third target, "I noticed you struggled a bit more with these targets, yet with this guy you managed to score a shot in his shoulder that would have crippled this man's arm. He's not dead, but he will be left wide open for another shot and a possible bleed out if you managed to hit one of his blood vessels. This guy is a delayed kill," he said before moving lower and noticing another chunk of foam torn away from the target, "Here we have a grazing shot. Again, it will hurt, but not kill him," he reported before making his way over to the last target, "With this guy, you managed to knick his carotid artery for a rapid bleed out and a kill. Altogether you have 3 instant kills and one possible delayed."
"Looked like some impressive stopping power you had there," Eddie said checking out the shot up targets for himself.
"But you're only packing 7 rounds per clip. By the time you're out, we're still shooting at you," Wilson commented.
"And I've fought alongside Max personally. I can't tell you how he does it, but he has his own way of being able to literally dodge the bullets fired upon him. By the time your guy's run dry, Max will be firing a round into his face," Raul chimed in.
"Our gun is more dependable, has more rounds, and updated technology," Wilson added.
For short range weapons, Max Payne returns fire with a Brazilian made version of the Beretta M92, the Taurus PT92.
(Max is shown shooting down one mobster with a flurry of bullets to the chest before his partner comes into the room, only to take a round to the forehead for his troubles.)
Taurus PT92
Semi-automatic
Length: 8.5 in.
Weight: 34 oz.
Cartridge: 9x19mm Parabellum
Clip Size: 17 Rounds (34 with 2)
"This is the Taurus PT92. It's a well-rounded semi-automatic pistol with good range, accuracy, and stopping power," Wilson said showing off twin pistols.
"Well it's going to be the same test for you. You have 4 mobsters charging you and 2 guns with 1 clip for each. Think you can handle this?" Bradley asked.
"You know it," Wilson smirked while getting into position 50 feet away from the targets.
"Then open fire!"
Wilson squeezed the triggers on both pistols and his bullets immediately struck the closest targets in their chests and faces before switching his focus on the others and managing to score a few lethal shots with a few rounds missing before his guns clicked dry.
Dr. Kaiser made his way over to the shot up targets to assess the damage done.
"I am counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 shots in this guy," the good doctor said inspecting the first target, "and you got him in a close grouping right in the middle of his chest, dead before he hits the ground."
He then went to inspect the other targets and count the number of bullets in each. "I am seeing roughly a minimum of 4 bullets in each target, and you manage to group them in vital areas that will kill a man before he hits the ground again. Altogether you have 4 instant kills."
"More bullets means more bodies," Wilson nodded.
"Feeling intimidated?" Eddie asked Martin, who shook his head.
"The Colt has stood the test of time. It might not carry as many bullets, but it has the superior stopping power. The Punisher would only laugh at the challenge...if he's even capable of laughing that is..." Martin replied while scratching his head.
Both guns have shown their capabilities, yet where do our panelists stand?
"The Punisher's Colt possesses the superior stopping power, yet it lacks the clip size of the Taurus. That is most crucial in a firefight, edge Taurus," Bradley started.
"The bigger magazine capacity wins the fight in the end, edge Taurus," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"We're 3 for 3 in agreement, edge Taurus," Eddie concluded.
In short range weapons, Max Payne takes the edge with the Taurus PT92.
Coming up, both vigilantes pull out their deadly room sweepers as the battle goes to mid-range.
XXXXXXXXXXX
The time has now come for both warriors to pull out their trusted mid-range killers. Up first will be Max Payne with a dual-mode beast guaranteed to leave a room decorated in the innards of his victims, the Franchi SPAS-12.
(Max runs into a room filled with mobsters playing poker, quickly gunning them all down in quick work with the SPAS-12.)
SPAS-12
Semi-automatic or pump-action
Length: 41 in.
Weight: 9 lbs.
Cartridge: 12-Gauge
Clip Size: 8 (+1 in the chamber)
"This is a dual-mode combat shotgun that can be adjusted for semi-automatic or pump-action, the latter intended for non-lethal rounds, never been the case for Max though," Wilson smirked while displaying the shotgun.
"Well we've got two separate tests planned, one to test your shotgun's accuracy and effective range, and the other to test its killing power," Bradley said motioning to the shooting range behind him, where 3 wooden targets with frowning faces painted on them had been set up.
"The first part of the test will involve you shooting at targets we have placed at 10, 20 and 30 yards away. Once that is done, we have an attack bot representing an attacking mobster to come charging at you," he said motioning towards an automated attack bot mounted with a gel torso, "You're up, Wilson."
Wilson nodded and took his position at the shooting range.
"On 3...2...1, open fire!"
Wilson fired into the first target before switching his aim and striking the second, the clusters of buckshot varying based upon range. He took aim and fired upon the third target, obliterating a portion where a man's shoulder would have been.
"Release the attack bot!" Bradley shouted.
On cue, Eddie activated the controls and the attack bot was sent charging towards Wilson, who fired a round of buckshot into its chest before going higher and firing a second blast that tore the dummy's neck apart along with a chunk of its face, leaving it hanging by a thread.
"My god that is brutal!" Eddie shouted as the dummy's head detached and hit the ground with a wet flop.
Dr. Kaiser went over and picked up the shredded remnants of the severed head, "This guy was made from ballistic gel, whose surface mimics actual human tissue. All I'm able to say is that you would have two instant kill shots judging by where you hit this guy, your first shot shredding his heart into pieces."
Bradley meanwhile made his way over to check out the wooden targets, "As is the case with most shotguns, you have instant lethality up close, yet the farther away you get, the more your accuracy fades."
"Punisher experts, your thoughts?" Eddie asked Lynn and Martin.
"That's real cute and all, but The Punisher comes equipped with a gun that's just as reliable," Lynn replied.
The Punisher returns fire with his own reliable killer, the Benelli M4 Super 90.
Benelli M4 Super 90
Semi-automatic
Length: 34 in.
Weight: 8 lbs.
Cartridge: 12-Gauge
Clip Size: 7 (+1 in the chamber)
"The Benelli M4 is a combat shotgun that has been very popular with both military and law enforcement agencies because it requires little maintenance and can operate effectively in all climates and weather conditions," Lynn explained showing off the shotgun.
"Well you know the drill, it's the same test for you. Show us what that baby can do," Bradley said.
"You can count on it," Lynn said getting into position at the shooting range with newly placed targets.
"On 3...2...1, fire!"
Lynn squeezed the trigger and left a wide spread pattern on the first target before switching her focus on the next, firing another blast that wasn't as centered as before. She fired again on the last wooden target, managing to connect with a blast that would have obliterated the target's side.
"Send in the attack bot!" Bradley ordered.
Eddie switched the bot on and it made its way for Lynn, who took aim and fired a blast into the dummy's gut before firing a second blast that went a little higher into its chest. Even after the attack bot had been brought to a halt she fired another blast into the dummy's face followed by a fourth and final blast that blew the upper half of the dummy's skull off.
"Talk about overkill," Eddie gasped.
"This is The Punisher we are talking about here. Would you expect any less?" Martin asked.
"Point taken," Eddie nodded as Dr. Kaiser made his way over to pick up a large gel chunk from the ground, which turned out to be the dummy's face.
"Wow...you literally blew this guy's face off with with that third blast...and just right before the coup de grace," Dr. Kaiser said motioning to the bloodied stump that remained of the dummy's head. He walked over and began feeling around inside of the torso, "This guy's intestines are liquefied and his left lung is shredded to bits. There's no second guessing here."
Both shotguns decimated their targets, but where do our panelists stand?
"This is too close to call. Both weapons have their strengths. With the SPAS-12, you have the option of switching back and forth between semi-automatic and pump-action, plus it holds one extra round. With the Benelli you have ruggedness and reliability in all weather conditions, plus it is lighter and more modern. I'm calling this even," Bradley declared.
"I have to agree. They have advantages that put them on too level of a playing field. Edge even," Eddie seconded.
"No disagreements here," Dr. Kaiser concluded.
In mid-range weapons, our warriors are even.
Coming up, two deadly assault rifles are put to the test in a one on one shootout.
And later, things heat up when explosives are unleashed.
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The time has come for both warriors to unleash their long ranged arsenals. Up first will be The Punisher with an improvement over the Colt M4 carbine, the HK416.
(The Punisher kills an entire group of gang members with a fully automatic blast.)
HK416
Semi or Full-Automatic
Length: 33 in.
Weight: 7 lbs.
Cartridge: 5.56x45mm NATO
Clip Size: 30 Rounds
"This bad boy is the go to weapon for counter-terrorism and law enforcement. It gained fame for its use in the Navy SEAL raid that took down Osama bin Laden," Lynn explained showing off her rifle for the onlookers.
"It's a badass looking gun and we have the perfect scenario for you to show off its abilities," Bradley said motioning to the course behind them, a room designed to look like a restaurant and filled with foam targets, "Here's the situation: A group of armed terrorists have stormed a crowded building filled with frightened, unarmed bystanders. Your objective is to take down the terrorists without harming any of the civilians. Think you're up to the challenge?"
"You know it," Lynn replied and got into position.
"Alright, on 3...2...1, light 'em up!"
Lynn kicked down a door and was met by a small group of 'civilian' targets before a target fitted with a balaclava popped into view and she dropped it with a burst to the chest that sent fake blood spraying onto the nearest bystander. She moved further into the room and was met by another 'terrorist' that she dropped in a flurry to its face before rolling to the side and taking a knee before firing upon a third target. A door came flying open and a civilian target came rolling into view with a terrorist right behind it in a mock hostage situation. Taking careful aim, Lynn fired a round into the last hostile target's face, blowing off two thirds of its head.
"Time! 14 seconds!" Bradley called out.
Dr. Kaiser made his way around to inspect all of the targets, "Your bullets just pulverized these guys. 4 kills counted altogether," he reported before examining the civilian targets, "And you pulled this off with no civilian casualties. Good job!"
"Think Max would have a gun to match up to that?" Eddie asked Raul.
"Max came prepared for any situation," Raul said holding up his own rifle.
Max Payne shoots back with a trusty assault rifle of his own, the H&K G36.
(Max is cornered in a decrepit building by members of the UFE, only to dispatch them with a flurry from his G36.)
H&K G36
Semi or Full-Automatic
Length: 39 in.
Weight: 8 lbs.
Cartridge: 5.56x45mm NATO
Clip Size: 30 Rounds
"The H&K G36 was the replacement for the heavier G3 battle rifle and can carry a 100 round C-Mag drum magazine if needed. This is the go to weapon for the Bundeswehr," Raul explained.
"It's the same test for you, Raul. You go in and clear out all the bad guys while not harming any survivors," Bradley explained.
"Not a problem," Raul said getting into position.
"Alright Raul, on 3...2...1, take 'em down!"
Raul kicks the door down and finds himself met by a small group of unarmed 'civilians' before a terrorist target pops into view, only to be dropped by a quick burst to its chest before the former bodyguard moves farther and was met by a second enemy, who was dispatched in similar fashion before Raul rolled along the ground and halted at a knee, where he dropped a third target with a barrage to the chest. A door to his right came flying open and he was met by a hostile target with a civilian held hostage in front of it. Raul raised his rifle and fired a barrage that took off the very top of the enemy target's head.
"Time! 18 seconds," Bradley called out.
Dr. Kaiser again made another trip around to inspect the hostile targets and then the civilian targets. "I am detecting lethal shots to all of these targets and done through close grouping. Once again we are seeing 4 kills and no damage done to the hostages. Good job!"
Both assault rifles showed their deadly accuracy and killing power against hostile threats, but where do our panelists stand?
"This is another test that is just too close for me to call as these guns match each other on every front, even possessing the same gas operating system. I'm calling this one even," Bradley started.
"These guns matched each other kill for kill, separated only by 4 seconds, aside from that there is really no other major difference in effectiveness. Edge even," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"I'm with both of you on this one. It's their similarities in weapons and effectiveness that have made these two figures so deeply feared by the criminal underworld. I'm calling this one even," Eddie concluded.
In long range weapons, our warriors are even.
Coming up, things take an explosive turn when two grenade launchers are put to the test.
And then later, The Punisher takes on Max Payne in a shootout to determine who is "The Deadliest Warrior!"
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The time has now come for both warriors to unveil their explosive weapons. Up first will be Max Payne with a tried and proven killer, the M-79 grenade launcher.
(Max is shown taking aim and firing an explosive shell into a cluster of heavily-armed guards, sending charred body parts flying in all directions.)
M79 Grenade Launcher
Break-Action
Length: 29 in.
Weight: 6 lbs.
Cartridge: 40x46mm
Clip Size: 1 Round
"This bad boy is more commonly known as 'The Thumper.' It had its start in the Vietnam War and is still sparingly used today by infantry units. With this I can fire a grenade up to 400 meters and at 6 rounds per minute," Raul explained showing off his launcher.
"We're going to give you the chance to show off what your launcher can do and here is your scenario," Bradley started motioning to the dirt road they stood at, "We have an oncoming car with 4 targets inside, representing a mob boss and his 3 bodyguards. Raul, you have one shot to show us how devastating your launcher can be," he concluded while motioning to a black sedan seen in the distance.
"It's gonna get hot in here," Raul nodded before ascending the hill that overlooked the road and taking his position behind a shrub.
"Eddie, is the car ready?" Bradley called to his colleague.
"Ready to roll!" Eddie called back.
"Then let's get this party started!"
"You got it," Eddie said pulling out his remote control and starting up the car.
He used the controls to automatically shift the car into drive and then steer the wheel as the car made its way down along the dirt road. When the car came into the effective range, Raul squeezed the M79's trigger and with a loud 'bloop' the grenade was launched and struck the car head on, resulting in a fiery explosion that sent shrapnel flying all over.
A firefighting team made its way in and put out the blaze and it would be a while before it was safe for the panelists to approach the smoking ruins.
Dr. Kaiser took the time to inspect the charred remnants of the targets from a safe distance, "These guys would all be dead upon impact. No questions asked."
"That's real cute and all, but you're dealing with obsolete technology there. We have the very weapon that replaced the M79 and will be able to blow Max Payne out of the water before he would even have a chance to get close," Lynn replied.
The Punisher brings the pain with the M79's replacement, the M203.
(The Punisher fires a shell from his M203 into an oncoming car full of mobsters, killing them all in one brilliant, fiery explosion.)
M203 Grenade Launcher
Single Shot
Length: 15 in.
Weight: 3 lbs.
Cartridge: 40x46mm
Clip Size: 1 Round
"This is the very launcher that replaced the M79," Lynn explained before taking the launcher and attaching it beneath the barrel of her HK416, "This launcher is meant to be attached to a rifle, thus making it easier for the user to switch back and forth as opposed to lugging along a stand-alone weapon like the M79 that can only serve to weigh a person down in a firefight."
"It's the same test for you, Lynn. We have a car full of gangsters and we want to see if your launcher can prove any more effective than its predecessor," Bradley explained motioning to another car that had been waiting further down the road.
"4 flame broiled assholes coming right up," Lynn said before taking her position atop the small hill and readying her launcher.
"Eddie, is the car ready to go?" Bradley called out.
"Ready to roll again," Eddie called back.
"Get her moving!"
Eddie nodded and used his remote controller to shift the car into drive and then sent it rolling down the dirt road, only for Lynn to fire her round much earlier than Raul, striking the front end of it and sending it flipping forward and landing on its rooftop in a ball of fire.
The firefighting team came back and put out the second blaze and made the panelists wait until the all clear was given and they were allowed to approach. Dr. Kaiser observed the charred remnants of the targets before coming to his conclusion.
"Seeing as how you fired your shot earlier than Raul, there's no doubt the 2 guys in the front would have died from the explosion immediately, while there's a greater chance your guys in the back could have either died from the impact of the crash landing or the flames that followed. Either way you are 4 for 4," the good doctor reported.
Both launchers destroyed their targets and revealed the devastation they are capable of, but where do our panelists stand?
"Both of these launchers no doubt are deadly and they are roughly the same when it comes to their effective range and blast radius, but the M203 can be attached to the HK416 and have it at the ready, while Max would have to get the M79 out and then aim it separately. Edge M203," Eddie started.
"I disagree and am calling this one even. Both these launchers are still very similar in terms of effective range," Dr. Kaiser countered.
The tie-breaking vote would fall down to Bradley.
"I'm calling this in favor of the M203. Being able to attach it to another weapon takes the extra weight off the user, enabling him to carry more weapons at once. Given the nature in which these two warriors are used to fighting in, quick movements are everything," Bradley concluded.
In explosive weapons, The Punisher takes the edge with the M203 Grenade Launcher.
As it is with all warriors, there is a critical X-factor that makes them who they are. For the Punisher, it is his seemingly inhuman conditioning and tolerance for pain.
"I've seen this guy in action and I swear to you, he cannot be an ordinary human. I've seen him take a shotgun blast up close and he just shrugs it off and keeps pushing forward like it's a mosquito bite. He will just rush into a room guns blazing and within seconds, everybody is on the floor turned into Swiss Cheese. Even the most hardened crime bosses in New York will be almost shitting their pants the second they hear his name," Martin explained.
For Max Payne, it is 'bullet timing.'
"I have personally fought alongside Max Payne and when his adrenaline is at its highest, everything around him seems to slow down. He's been fired upon by enemies with assault rifles, mounted machine guns, snipers and even enemies in moving vehicles, and yet he seems capable of dodging everything they throw at him. Once he snaps out of it, an entire room is filled with shot up bodies and he has barely a scratch," Raul explained.
Coming up, it's a battle between two deadly vigilantes in a shootout for the ages to determine who is "The Deadliest Warrior!"
XXXXXXXXXXX
With our testing now been completed and our X-factors evaluated, we are one step closer to determining who is 'The Deadliest Warrior.'
Our team tested four weapons wielded by the infamous vigilante called The Punisher: The Colt M1911A1 handguns, the Benelli M4 Super 90 assault shotgun, the HK416 assault rifle and the M203 grenade launcher.
On the opposing side they tested an arsenal used by the ex-detective turned brutal vigilante Max Payne: the Taurus PT92 handguns, the SPAS-12 assault shotgun, the H&K G36 assault rifle, and the M79 grenade launcher.
In close range weapons, Max Payne outgunned the Punisher thanks to the extra bullets of his Taurus PT92.
EDGE: Max Payne
In mid-range weapons, both assault shotguns possessed their deadly strengths that put them on an even field with each other:
EDGE: Even
In long range weapons, both assault rifles matched each other kill for kill in terms of deadly accuracy and stopping power.
EDGE: Even
And lastly in explosive weapons, The Punisher's M203 provided the bigger bang.
EDGE: The Punisher
Our scientists and weapons experts are done testing the results and the time has come to decide who will be the victor. To ensure the battle won't be decided by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated one thousand times in a duel to the death.
Who will win in a battle between two menacingly similar foes?
Vigilante
(The Punisher brutally executes a wanted criminal with a point blank blast from his shotgun.)
vs. Vigilante
(Max Payne shoots Jack Lupino repeatedly as he lay on the ground.)
Inhuman Toughness
(The Punisher takes a shotgun blast to his bulletproof vest before shrugging it off and killing a criminal with a barrage from his HK416.)
vs. Inhuman Adrenaline
(Max barrel rolls in slow motion and manages to drop three gangsters with a barrage from his H&K G36 before hitting the ground again.)
Murderous Intent
(The Punisher tosses Ma Gnucci out through her office window.)
vs. Sheer Luck
(Max exchanges gunfire with a group of hoodlums in a transit bus repair garage, only to end up shooting the control panel which causes a raised bus to fall down right on top of them.)
"We've got everything good and set up and now it's time to rock n' roll," Eddie said before typing in a few commands and pressing 'ENTER.'
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In a rough neighborhood a lone dark van drives down an empty street before it comes to a halt at an abandoned three story building with a rusted chain-link gate out front. The door opens and the driver gets out to open the gate before climbing back in and driving the van through. The man gets out again and quickly pulls the gate shut behind him, a dark-haired man with a perpetual scowl.
He had found his man!
Unknown to him, his suspected safe house was being staked out by Max Payne, who had been transferred to the Punisher Task Force to help take down the bloodthirsty vigilante known as The Punisher.
The detective put down his binoculars and quietly exited his car, opening up his trunk and gathering his gear in preparation for what was sure to be a brutal battle.
Inside, The Punisher began systematically unloading his gear following yet another brutal campaign against the Gnucci crime family. There would be no time for him to celebrate as more slimebags prowled the streets and needed to be dealt with.
He was shaken from his thoughts as he heard the loud whine of a metal door being forced open. Had he been discovered?
The vigilante scooped up an HK416 and an M203 grenade launcher that he attached under the rifle's barrel and as an added precaution, grabbed the Benelli M4 Super 90 lying next to it. He then checked and made sure both of his Colts were locked and loaded as he listened for movement and retreated into the shadows.
Max Payne stalked his way through the safe house with his SPAS-12 in hand, eventually happening across the now abandoned van. Exhaust fumes were still fresh, telling him his target was nearby. He cautiously crept around the parked vehicle and noticed an elevated platform and ascended the stairs until he came to an area lined with crates that appeared to be filled with guns and ammo, knowing he was on the right trail.
He looked around before making a left turn, only to find himself staring straight into a white skull.
The Punisher found himself standing face to face with his intruder and he raised his HK416 assault rifle to fire a barrage upon the man, yet somehow he was able to roll out of the way and fired a blast from his SPAS-12 before taking cover behind one of the metal crates.
Max could feel his heart pumping as another barrage was fired upon him, yet everything moved around him as if in slow motion and the bullets whizzed harmlessly past his head. Even in the relative darkness of the room he could still make out the white skull and fired another blast from his SPAS-12.
Unknown to Max, fragments of the shell had managed to strike The Punisher in his armored chest and the wind was briefly knocked out of him, yet the relentless vigilante grunted and forced himself forward, firing another barrage upon the slippery detective until his gun clicked empty.
With no time to reload he slung the HK416 around his shoulder and withdrew his Benelli M4, firing a blast when he suspected the detective was again attempting to close in on him, sending Max barrel rolling for cover behind another stack of crates and returning fire with another shotgun blast of his own. The ex-Marine took cover behind a support pillar and blind fired upon his adversary before stepping out and firing another blast that managed to knock the SPAS-12 out of his hands before he could pop out and fire again.
With the adrenaline ebbing out of his system, Max grunted as he felt the full force of his assault shotgun being knocked from his hands. Rocked by another blast that was dangerously close, he readied his H&K G36 and made a mad dash into the open firing a salvo upon his attacker. As he found cover behind a long abandoned piece of machinery, he peeked out and spotted a red oil drum in the distance and he took aim for it, firing a shot that let out a low hiss before it was followed by a brilliant explosion.
The force of the blast sent The Punisher flying through the air and he struck a nearby storage rack with enough force to send it toppling over. Hurt, but still alive, the vigilante shoved a few discarded boxes aside and pushed himself back to this feet. Finding himself separated from his shotgun, he withdrew his dual Colt handguns and fired upon his attacker as he stepped into view, managing to strike him once in the side and send him retreating back into the shadows.
Rocked by fresh waves of pain, Max reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of painkillers, popping one into his mouth before reaching for his deadliest weapon yet.
The Punisher wasn't far behind him, following the telltale trail of blood. The vigilante took his time, aware that it could be an ambush and rattled one of the shelves in an effort to throw his opponent off and was met by a loud 'bloop' that sent him retreating as an explosive shell struck the ground where he had been standing less than a second earlier.
The explosion ignited some nearby ammunition and it wasn't long before a fire was spreading throughout the room. Max abandoned the M79 and withdrew his twin Taurus PT92 handguns as he prepared to hunt his prey down and make sure he was dead.
Carefully maneuvering his way around the burning wreckage he looked for any signs on the missing vigilante and needed to get out fast before he risked falling to smoke inhalation.
It was then he heard the loud groan from above and looked up to see a weathered support beam cracking beneath the explosions rocking the dilapidated building and he barely rolled out of the way just in time to avoid the deafening crash, only to find himself staring straight into the white skull and a very pissed off Punisher standing with guns drawn.
Feeling a fresh surge of adrenaline, Max Payne pushed himself back to his feet and squeezed the triggers of his PT92's to send a fresh wave of bullets upon his adversary, while The Punisher's bullets only managed to tear through the fabric of his sport coat. It wasn't long before the vigilante's guns were clicking empty and he was met by a bullet that struck him in the chest and another round that tore through his arm, leaving him wincing in pain.
The Punisher was becoming severely annoyed by this bothersome pest and holstered his Colts, taking the time to reload his HK416 and reaching for an explosive shell he had been carrying the entire time. Suppressing the urge to gag at the smoke filling the air, the tough-as-nails veteran tried to keep his focus on finding and eliminating his target, finding a lone shadow drifting back and forth he took aim and fired a barrage upon the fleeing detective, who again raised his dual handguns and fired away until both guns clicked empty on him.
Max Payne was out of ammo and knelt down to reload, but The Punisher somehow found him and out of desperation, he ran towards a nearby window and leaped through it as the vigilante took aim and fired another burst, one of the bullets tearing through his right calf and leaving him yelping in pain.
It was time to end this and The Punisher fired a 40x46mm shell through the broken window as he saw the wounded detective trying to flee for cover, the explosive striking the ground behind the man and sending him flying through the air.
An unimaginable pain shot through Max Payne's body as he hit the ground with a thundering thud, yet he was unable to hear the breaking of bones as a shrill ringing dominated his ears. When he opened his eyes he was met by a blinding light he was forced to blink away and as his vision came back into focus, he could only gasp in horror as he looked down to find both of his legs severed beneath the knee caps.
And then The Punisher stood tall over him with a Colt pointed in his face.
"What a joke," the vigilante grunted before squeezing the trigger and splattering Max Payne's brains all over the pavement.
With his opponent defeated, The Punisher holstered his gun and then turned and walked away.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Winner: The Punisher
The Punisher:
Twin Colt M1911A1 Pistols: 100
Benelli M4 Super 90: 80
HK416: 250
M203 Grenade Launcher: 105
Total: 535
Max Payne:
Twin Taurus PT92 Pistols: 142
SPAS-12: 90
H&K G36: 165
M79 Grenade Launcher: 68
Total: 465
In a relatively lop-sided battle, The Punisher emerged victorious thanks to the combined assault of his assault rifle and grenade launcher, whereas Max Payne managed to score more kills in both the close and mid-ranged categories.
"The Punisher ended up defeating Max Payne largely in part thanks to him being the superior strategist of the two, as well as his advanced Special Ops training, whereas Payne often relies upon running in guns blazing and triumphs mostly due to sheer luck, which can eventually run out," Bradley concluded.
"That computer has to have a virus! Max Payne has taken down psychopaths worse than this Punisher chump!" Raul spat.
"The Punisher has been fighting crime much longer. In an actual battle, the smartest thing Max Payne would be able to do is turn and run the other way," Lynn spoke with a sly smile.
(The Punisher is now wearing a trench coat and is shown walking away from the burning safe house with his hands in his pockets.)
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Next time on 'Fictional Deadliest Warrior' it's a battle between two criminal organizations:
(A man wearing a sleeveless red t-shirt with a skull and crossbones design and wearing a matching do-rag and dark green bandana over the lower half of his face threateningly brandishes an AK-47 assault rifle.)
Vaas' Pirates: The merciless marauders who have turned Rook Island into their own playground of death and destruction...
vs.
(A grungy Caucasian man in mis-matched clothes with a black dragon symbol prominently displayed points a CZ 75 handgun at the screen.)
Black Dragon: The deadly gun runners who willingly sold out their own realm in exchange for money and immunity.
Who will be...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR?!
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Author's Note: Well I managed to get it out of the way and I feel a small sense of accomplishment in doing so after the way things ended the last time around. Once again a special thanks goes out to Poseidon Productions for his assistance and please check out his own "Poseidon's Edition" Deadliest Warrior fic if you haven't done so already!
Also, for the legal jargon The Punisher is owned by Marvel Comics and Max Payne is owned by Rockstar Studios.
With apologies to Max Payne fans out there.
Until then, read and review! This is Metal Harbinger saying SPREAD THE SICKNESS, ONE MIND AT A TIME!