(A gray-furred feline humanoid clad in leather armor and a helmet swings a flanged mace at the screen.)
Khajiit: The infamous feline assassins and thieves of Elsweyr...
(A Khajiit assassin is shown dropping a Nord warrior with a careful shot from his recurve bow.)
vs.
(A human-hyena hybrid clad in steel lamellar snaps its fangs at the screen before swinging a battle axe.)
Gnoll: The ravenous hunters of Faerun who terrorize all that cross their path.
(A Gnoll is shown bringing his battle axe down onto the skull of a paladin.)
WHO IS DEADLIEST?!
Here in our elite fight club, we have gathered doctors, scientists and weapons experts to test out the lethal arsenals wielded by each of our combatants to determine who would win a fight when two fictional warriors go head to head.
No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is...THE FICTIONAL DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
Using 21st century science, we will see what happens when two warriors clash in a simulated battle:
Khajiit
Appearing from: Elder Scrolls expanded universe
Homeland: Elsweyr
Height: 5' 10"
Weight: 180 lbs.
Armor: Leather Armor, Leather Helmet, Hide Shield
Gnoll
Appearing from: Dungeons & Dragons Forgotten Realms
Homeland: Faerun
Height: 7'
Weight: 280 lbs.
Armor: Steel Lamellar, Steel Shield
"Today we have a battle between two mammalian warrior races who are renowned in their respective worlds. In one corner we have the sneaky Khajiit of Elsweyr and in the other, the ferocious Gnoll of Faerun," biomedical scientist Bradley Foster started out.
"Once again we are seeing a battle of opposites taking place today," trauma doctor Joseph Kaiser began, "The Khajiit are leaner and more agile. They take a more stealthy, strategic approach to combat. The gnoll are gigantic, but very lean for their size. They are very savage in nature, which sees them taking a far more aggressive, in your face approach to battle."
"This is another fantasy battle drawing a lot of medieval influences," computer expert Eddie Cortez spoke up, "These guys have swords, polearms, bows...parts of their own body! They both come well-rounded and ready to kill."
"And that they shall, but first, we have some weapons testing to get out of the way," Bradley concluded.
The camera cuts to a gray-furred Khajiit with a lynx-like face clad in steel plate armor. He has a straight saber in hand that he is shown taking a few practice swings with.
Up first to represent the Khajiit will be the warrior Kharjo.
A seasoned fighter who later joined the Blades, Kharjo brings knowledge of the Khajiit weapons and tactics to the fight.
"Humans and Mer look down upon the Khajiit. They see us as beasts...well push us hard enough and you will see a beast," Kharjo said showing off his claws threateningly.
The camera then cuts to another Khajiit, this one with a more lion-like appearance and clad in steel plate armor of his own. He pulls out a recurve bow and checks the sights.
Also on hand to represent the Khajiit will be Akkhuz-ri.
A spiritual leader, or "Mane," to his people, he is well aware of the struggles his people had to endure.
"The Khajiit have endured centuries of warfare and oppression against our people. We are hardened by our experiences and have adapted to contend with such. A few savages are nothing to us," Akkhuz-ri spoke.
The feline humanoid race known as the Khajiit inhabited Tamriel long before the arrival of elves and men, living in harmony in the forests around Lake Rumare. However, as more humans and elves immigrated further into the new lands, the Khajiit would find themselves driven into the forests and marshes in the southern extremes of Tamriel, which humans considered uninhabitable.
"They looked upon us as second-class citizens because of our appearance. They came to look upon us as liars, cheats, and drug addicts, believing us to be criminally inclined. The rich families and the industries oppressed and enslaved our people," Akkhuz-ri explained.
Despite the trials they faced, the Khajiit endured thanks to their cunning and natural stealth skills, which in turn allowed them to prove themselves as excellent archers, assassins, and thieves who were hired out by many for these skills, including the Thalmor.
"The Khajiit know they are going to be hired on to carry out the most dangerous missions no one else wants and that's what makes us unique. That's what makes us the deadliest in our land," Kharjo concluded.
The Khajiit come armed with a deadly arsenal that allows them to carry out their secretive activities with lethal precision:
Short Range: Khajiit Sword
Mid-Range: Steel Battle Axe
Long Range: Recurve Bow
Special Weapon: Flanged Mace & Claws
But how will they stack up against a feral new challenger?
The camera cuts to a towering hyena-like humanoid with greenish-gray fur who is clad in crude studded leather armor with a flame on a purple field emblazoned on its chest. He is in the process of doing some practice thrusts with an iron spear before he realizes the camera and looks to it, baring his fangs.
Up first to represent the Gnoll will be the soldier Mudwort.
A soldier in Maligor's army, he brings the same ferocity and weapons knowledge for today's battle.
"Big cats think they are bad, but Gnoll worse," Mudwort grunted.
The camera then focused on another Gnoll, this one with his arms and chest covered in tattoos and wearing similar armor with a talisman made from bones around his neck. He holds up a bearded axe to test out its sharpness.
Also on hand to represent the Gnoll will be Rattlefang.
A tribal leader and shaman from the Wild Hills, he brings extensive knowledge of Gnoll tactics to the table.
"Human or big cat, we will skin them alive," Rattlefang snickered.
Believed to be the descendants of the demon lord Yeenoghu, the hyena-like race known as the Gnoll hailed from the land of Faerun, where they quickly became known for their savage culture and war-like ways. Being natural predators and savoring the thrill of the hunt, the Gnolls normally preferred the wilderness enclaves populated by humans and dwarves, oftentimes able to satiate their craving for the hunt and the primal blood lust that inhabits their minds.
"Men...dwaves, make good food. They are fun to hunt," Mudwort grunted.
Normally forming their packs based upon family and blood ties, there were many more who were nomadic and wreaked havoc wherever their travels took them, becoming slaving brigands and scavenging as a means of survival. Their fearsome reputations preceded them and they often found themselves in conflict with peacekeeping organizations such as the Harpers, the Order of the Gauntlet, the Moonstars, and the Lords' Alliance.
"We live for the hunt and these Khajiit are no different from any other worm that crosses our path. Their next trip will be to a Gnoll's stomach," Rattlefang smirked.
The bloodthirsty brigands came equipped with their own deadly arsenal as they tore through anything that crossed their path:
Short Range: Short Sword
Mid-Range: Iron Spear
Long Range: Longbow
Special Weapon: Battle Axe & Fangs
When both warriors fought their enemies up close and personal, they relied upon trusted blades to cut through those who opposed them.
For the Khajiit, they relied upon a trusted blade of their mountain clans, the Khajiit Sword.
(A Khajiit is shown avoiding blows from a Nord soldier before sidestepping him and slashing into him with his sword.)
Khajiit Sword
Single-Edged
Length: 3 ft.
Weight: 3 lbs.
Material: Iron
Akkhuz-ri stood before the panelists with a sword that resembeled a saber, but with a straightened blade.
"This is one of the many swords we use in battle," Akkhuz-ri said showing off the sword, "These have found their way into the hands of our people scattered all over the lands."
"Then let's see what it can do against a trio of attacking gnolls," Bradley said motioning towards 3 ballistic gel targets set up behind him, all shaped to look like gnolls, one of which is outfitted in their steel lamellar.
"My pleasure," Akkhuz-ri said taking a position with his blade at the ready.
"Then on 3...2...1, dice 'em up!"
Akkhuz-ri launched himself forward and brought his blade down onto the shoulder of the first target before twirling his body and slicing into the throat of the second, its head falling off less than a split second later. He then set his sights on the armored target and delivered a swing that resulted only in a scratch. He tried again, but was only met by a similar result. With a grunt, he swung the blade again and lopped off the top of the target's head.
Dr. Kaiser made his way over to assess the damage done, "Your blade went right down and cut right through this guy's shoulder, deep enough you are hitting a lung for a kill," he said before approaching the second target, "Your blade really showed off its weighted tip with the way you cut through this guy's neck in on fell swoop."
He then set his sights on the armored target, "However, there is concern shown here as you only managed to scratch the surface of this guy's armor. It wasn't until you went around it that you inflicted any serious damage."
"You'd be dead before you could do any damage," Rattlefang cut in while Mudwort snickered behind him, "Our sword would cut you down into tiny little pieces."
Answering the challenge of the Khajiit's blade, the Gnoll swings back with their own killer, the Short Sword.
(A gnoll is shown driving his blade into the stomach of a human warrior, laughing the entire time.)
Short Sword
Double-Edged
Length: 22 in. (18 in. blade)
Weight: 2 lbs.
Material: Iron
Rattlefang stood before the panelists with his short sword in hand, which actually looked more like a large dagger and closely resembled the real-life Gladius.
"You put anybody in front of us, we'll cut 'em down," the gnoll chieftain growled.
"Then it's the same test for you, only now with the leather armor of the Khajiit," Bradley said motioning towards 3 targets physically modeled after Khajiit fighters, the last one wearing the leather body armor.
Rattlefang only bared his teeth and got into position.
"Then on 3...2...1, slice 'em up!"
Rattlefang barely waited for the countdown to end and launched himself at the first target, driving his blade through its chest before pulling it out again and driving it through its face. He then set his sights on the second target and chopped into its collarbone before swinging again, cutting deep into the neck. He swung two more times before he finally decapitated the target.
He then set his sights on the armored target and swung the blade, only leaving a deep indentation. He drew back and stabbed into the target's chest, managing to pierce the surface before pulling out and driving through again, this time going deeper before pulling out and licking the blood off his blade, much to the shock of the panelists and even the Khajiit representatives.
"Bah! It's fake!" Rattlefang grunted.
Dr. Kaiser approached the butchered targets with apprehension, never taking his eyes off Rattlefang the entire time. It was only with great caution he dared to examine the first target.
"You've got 2 instant kill shots either way, first with the blade piercing the target's heart, and the second going right through the middle of its face," he said before creeping over to the second target, "Your first strike cut through this guy's collarbone and you cut through muscles and important veins, this is a kill, all before you cut the guy's head off," he said before checking out the armored target.
"Your first strike didn't get through the armor, but you did generate enough force to possibly break a rib. You did pierce the surface with your first stabbing attack, puncturing the bottom of his lung and only doing more damage with your second stab. We've got 3 dead Khajiit here," the doctor concluded before backing away from Rattlefang.
"Good luck with that," Kharjo sarcastically grunted.
Both swords cut through their targets, but where do our panelists stand?
"I'm with the Khajiit Sword for its longer blade and weighted tip that enabled it to cut through the targets with greater ease," Bradley started.
"While the Gnoll's short sword did manage to penetrate the Khajiit's leather armor, I do agree that the reach and weighted tip of the Khajiit's sword gives them a greater edge, especially given the Khajiit's more disciplined fighting style compared to that of the Gnoll," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"I thought the double-edged make of the short sword would give it the edge, but I'm with both of you on this one, edge Khajiit," Eddie concluded.
In short ranged weapons, the Khajiit takes the edge with the Khajiit Sword.
Coming up, a flesh tearing battle axe is pitted against a sharp, nasty spear.
XXXXXX
The Khajiit and the Gnoll, two polar opposites in the field of battle.
"The Khajiit fight with discipline and intelligence. We would study the Gnoll, learn their habits, and then sneak in and eliminate them when they least expected it," Kharjo spoke.
"These cat people are just meat to us. We would tear through them until there is nothing left, not even the tiny scraps," Rattlefang growled.
When both warriors were able to keep their foes at a distance with different killing tools that left their enemies in pieces.
For the Gnoll, they impaled their enemies with the trusted Iron Spear.
(A Gnoll is shown driving his spear through the gut of an elven warrior.)
Iron Spear
Length: 6 ft.
Weight: 4 lbs.
Material: Iron head, wooden shaft
"We stab with these!" Mudwort yelped excitedly.
"This is one of our common front line weapons. Many have fallen on our spear points and will continue..." Rattlefang said looking threateningly towards the Khajiit representatives.
"Fortunately, we have some stand-ins available for you to test your spear out on," Bradley said motioning towards 3 more targets, two pig carcasses and a ballistic gel torso outfitted in the Khajiit's leather armor, "Go ahead and give them your worst."
Mudwort giggled before taking his position with his spear at the ready.
"Alright Mudwort, let 'em have it!"
Mudwort launched himself forward and drove his spear into the first pig's gut before following up with a strike to the second pig's throat. He then set his sights on the armored target and drove his iron-tipped spear right through the leather surface, pulling it out with bits of gel skin and fake internal organs.
"You've just turned both these guys insides into tiny scraps," Dr. Kaiser said examining both the pig carcasses, "Two quick kills on your hands."
He then examined the armored target, "Your spear just tore through this guy like he was wearing a t-shirt. 3 kills altogether."
"But your weapon is very one-dimensional," Kharjo interjected, "And once you get past the spear tip, what else do you have? Our battle axe comes with two sides of cutting terror and can hack and slash through large oafs like they are nothing."
Answering the Gnoll's challenge, the Khajiit swings back with a brutal battlefield executioner, the Steel Battle Axe.
(A Khajiit is shown hacking into a Nord soldier with an overhead chop from his steel battle axe.)
Steel Battle Axe
Length: 4.5 ft.
Weight: 6 lbs.
Material: Steel head, wooden shaft
Kharjo stood before the panelists with his battle axe in hand, who admired the intricate designs carved into the double-headed surface.
"The head of this battle axe is made from steel, far stronger than iron. It has two sides two it that let me hack and slash either way," he explained.
"It's the same test for you Kharjo, you get two unarmored pig carcasses and a ballistic gel torso, this time outfitted with the Gnoll's steel lamellar," Bradley said motioning to the new targets.
"Will do," Kharjo said taking his position.
"Then on 3...2...1, hack 'em up!"
Kharjo brought the battle axe done onto the first target's collarbone in a gory spectacle, followed by swinging it into the gut of the second pig until the blade was sticking out of its back. He then set his sights on the armored target and swung the axe as hard as he could into the lamellar surface, leaving a deep indentation before bringing it down onto the target's skull and then stopping to catch his breath.
"Another brutal display," Dr. Kaiser observed, "You managed to cut through the first guy's collarbone and are almost down to his stomach...talk about serious depth. Your second guy you managed to get through to his back, pulverizing anything in between in the process," he said before making his way over to the armored target.
"Your battle axe did not penetrate his armor, but you did generate enough force to knock the wind out of the guy, breaking a few of his ribs, possibly hard enough to collapse a lung. That will leave him open for the coup de grace and altogether you are 3 for 3."
"But I did notice how winded you were afterward," the doctor added looking over to Kharjo.
"It might be big and heavy, but it still gets the job done. A trained Khajiit would have faced enemies in similar armor by now – and have killed them," the Khajiit warrior replied.
"We'd have you impaled and roasting over an open fire before that could happen," Rattlefang shot back.
The iron spear and the steel battle axe, both weapons cut down their enemies where they stood, but where do our panelists stand?
"This is another very close call for me and closer than I expected," Bradley began, "While the steel battle axe has two sides and can hack and slash, it's very taxing on the user's stamina. On the other hand, the spear has the length and is lighter, but it's very one-dimensional. I'm calling this one even."
"I agree. Both weapons have their strengths and their weaknesses that put them roughly on par with each other. Even it is," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"Multi-faceted versus greater length and lighter weight, both advantages that play favorably to their respective users, balanced out by weaknesses that could affect the user in the long run. I agree, they're even," Eddie concluded.
In mid-ranged weapons, our warriors are even.
When the battle went to long range, both warriors relied upon trusted bows to snipe at their enemies from afar.
For the Khajiit, they relied upon a trusted Recurve Bow used by only their finest archers.
(A Khajiit archer takes aim with his recurve bow and fires an arrow into the throat of a Legion soldier.)
Recurve Bow
Length: 52 in.
Weight: 2 lbs.
Material: Wood, horn and leather
But the Gnoll comes prepared and fires back with their own tried and tested killer, the Longbow.
(A Gnoll is shown taking aim with a longbow and firing an arrow into the side of an owlbear.)
Longbow
Length: 67 in.
Weight: 1.5 lbs.
Material: Wood and sinew
Kharjo and Rattlefang are shown standing at an outdoor range with their respective bows in hand.
"Alright gentlemen, we've seen similar bows featured on this show before, but we want to test out the effectiveness and accuracy of your own bows. We've set up a range filled with static and moving targets. Kharjo, your arrows have the red feathers, and Rattlefang, yours have the blue, that way we know which arrow belongs to whom. You each will be given 10 arrows to prove your point," Bradley explained.
"Consider it done," Kharjo replied.
"I'll take 'em all down!" Rattlefang grunted.
Both archers stood in position with their bows ready and their arrows nocked.
"Alright gentlemen, on 3...2...1, open fire!"
Both warriors let their arrows fly, Kharjo striking a moving circular target, whereas Rattlefang missed.
Kharjo: 1
Rattlefang: 0
Both quickly loaded new arrows and opened fire, both of them hitting targets before Rattlefang continued his streak hitting a static target, while Kharjo missed.
Kharjo: 2
Rattlefang: 3
Kharjo wasn't deterred as he hit two more targets, while Rattlefang hit one and missed one.
Kharjo: 4
Rattlefang: 4
Both archers continued at their measured paces until their quivers were left empty and in the end the results stood firm.
Kharjo: 7
Rattlefang: 6
Both bows showed off their respective accuracy and effectiveness in the following shootout, but where do our panelists stand in the end?
"For me it's a tie. Both these bows are able to generate a similar type of range and power," Bradley started.
"The only other factor we have to take into account is the armor of both warriors. The Gnoll's steel lamellar could be more reliable in this type of scenario, but I think overall the ability of the individual warrior is the main factor given the similarity of both bows. I'm sticking with a tie on this one," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"In that case, I'm with both of you, this one's even," Eddie concluded.
In long range weapons, our warriors are even.
Coming up, special weapons are tested when both warriors break out their trusted sidearms, as well as their own deadliest physical attributes.
XXXXXX
The Khajiit and the Gnoll, two very different warriors with very different styles of combat.
Both these fighters come equipped with trusted special weapons, as well as their own built-in weapons.
The Gnoll comes swinging into battle with the Battle Axe and follows up with his Fangs.
(A Gnoll is shown swinging a bearded axe into an attacking human rogue, while another Gnoll clamps down on the neck of a swordsman with his fangs and violently throttles him before tossing him aside.)
Battle Axe
Length: 32 in.
Weight: 2.5 lbs.
Material: Steel head, wooden handle
Fangs
Length: 2 in.
Material: Dentin
Rattlefang and Mudwort both stand before the panelists, the former with a bearded, Viking-like battle axe in hand.
"We have two very different weapons to test here and you're both going to be testing them simultaneously. Rattlefang, you will be testing the battle axe and we have two targets set up for you, one armored and the other bare," Bradley said motioning to two ballistic gel targets before setting his sights on a synthetic arm, "Mudwort, you'll be showing off the fangs of your people and we have a synthetic arm here rigged with sensors for you to bite into and show off the bite force and damage that can be caused."
Both Gnolls only snickered as they took their respective positions.
"Alright gentlemen, on 3...2...1, attack!"
Rattlefang launched himself at the first target and brought his battle axe down onto the crown of his unarmored target's head in a gory display. He then attacked the armored target, bringing his axe down onto the target's leather helmet before drawing back and swinging into its armored torso, following up with 3 more strikes that tore through and left stage blood gushing out from beneath.
Mudwort meanwhile brought clamped his jaws down onto the synthetic arm and dug his fangs in until he was drawing blood and began to violently shake the fake limb until he tore a large chunk of foam out and spat it out.
"Your first blow to this guy is instant lights out," Dr. Kaiser said examining the deep gash left behind to the unarmored target's skull, "And it's made all the more easier by the greater height of the Gnoll and his longer arms."
"Gives us a bigger edge over the puny Khajiit," Rattlefang snickered.
"This guy's leather helmet did barely anything to protect him, not even cushioning the blow that much at all," Dr. Kaiser said examining the remnants of the leather Khajiit helmet before moving down to the body armor, "The body armor barely did even enough to cushion the first blow, hard enough to break a few ribs before the blade finally pierced the surface and you turned his insides into mush."
Dr. Kaiser then examined the synthetic arm.
"Mudwort's bite managed to tear through the skin and muscle, and would have gone deep enough to crush an actual bone beneath. He did this all at a generated PSI of 1100 pounds, the average bite strength of a hyena, which is more powerful than the bite force of a lion or tiger," the good doctor concluded.
"Just imagine if that was clamping down on a target's neck. That could be enough to kill right there," Bradley added.
"Care to find out?" Rattlefang growled, prompting Bradley to back off.
"It's doubtful you would get close enough to try such a thing," Kharjo said stepping in and displaying his claws.
"We have the antidote for your steel lamellar right here," Akkhuz-ri said lifting up his mace.
To answer the Gnoll's challenge, the Khajiit swings back with the skull crushing Flanged Mace and follows up with his Claws.
(A Khajiit warrior is shown bashing a Nord's face in with a strike from his flanged mace, while another dodges a Nord warrior's sword attack before slashing into his wrists and then slashing into his throat.)
Flanged Mace
Length: 2 ft.
Weight: 3 lbs.
Material: Iron
Claws
Length: 2 in.
Material: Keratin
Akkhuz-ri stood before the panelists with his flanged mace in hand, while Kharjo took a few practice swipes with his claws.
"It's going to be the same test for both of you," Bradley started, "Akkhuz-ri, you will attack two ballistic gel targets, one unarmored and the second one wearing the steel lamellar of a Gnoll," he said before motioning to a ballistic gel bust, "Kharjo, you are going to show what the Khajiit's claws can do to an enemy's flesh."
"Very well," Akkhuz-ri replied before looking over to Kharjo and the two took their positions.
"Alright, on 3...2...1, attack!"
Akkhuz-ri charged the first target and brought his mace down on top of its skull, splitting it wide open in a fountain of gore. He followed up with a strike to the target's side and then one to its shoulder that left its arm hanging limply. He then set his sights on the armored target and swung hard into the chest, leaving a dent before following up for two more strikes that left only dents and scratches on the surface.
Kharjo raked his claws across the bust's face, quickly gouging out both of its eyes. He didn't stop as he slashed again, leaving deep rends that had blood gushing from them before he followed up with a third strike that tore a large chunk out of the dummy's cheek. He finished the display of brutality off by shoving his claws into the bust's neck and tearing open its throat in a final gory showing.
Dr. Kaiser made his way over to first assess the damage done to Akkhuz-ri's targets.
"Your first strike splits this guy's head open like a watermelon for an instant kill," he said carefully sifting through what was left of the target's head before examining the other points of impact, "Your second shot shattered this guy's ribs and hits hard enough to collapse his lung for a delayed kill and your last strike won't kill, but it does break this guy's shoulder and renders his left arm useless."
He then moved over to the armored target, "Your mace struck with enough force to shatter this guy's ribs underneath and send the fragments into his lungs for a delayed and very painful kill."
The good doctor then moved onto Kharjo's target, "Talking about a literal case of 'cat scratch fever,' you gouged this guy's eyes out right away! It won't kill him, but it will be painful and leave him vulnerable. The next scratches that follow, also are going to hurt, but not kill, and it took you quite a few follow up strikes before you managed to cut this guy's throat open the way you did."
"Reminds me of why I never got a cat," Eddie whispered to Bradley.
"Aw, kitty claws look so big and scary," Rattlefang laughed while prominently displaying his own fangs.
"You eager to feel them for yourself?" Kharjo hissed back.
"Uh, gentlemen! Gentlemen, please! Let's save the fighting for the simulation!" Bradley shouted waving his hands wildly to try defusing the situation.
Both sets of special weapons displayed their lethality in their respective tests, but where do our panelists stand?
"I was personally more impressed by the axe with how it went through the Khajiit's leather armor, even though the flanged mace was able to hold its own against steel lamellar, still I saw the axe as a bit more practical," Bradley started.
"Even though the flanges added to the damage done by the mace, I still saw how the battle axe offered more options, edge Gnoll," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"I agree with the battle axe taking the edge," Eddie concluded.
"As for their secondary special weapons, while the Khajiit's claws could likely be more lethal, still they don't offer much when the battle axe is thrown into the equation," Bradley continued.
"I think where the Gnoll bites is dependent upon the overall effectiveness of their fangs, whereas with the Khajiit's claws, it also depends upon where they strike, which can take a while to show any serious effect before they get their desired results," Dr. Kaiser concluded.
In special weapons, the Gnoll takes the edge with their Battle Axe & Fangs combination.
As it is with all warriors, there is a critical X-factor that makes them who they are. For the Khajiit, it is their persistence in spite of everything they have endured.
"The Khajiit have seen much hardship since the beginning of our time. We've been driven from our ancestral lands, been hunted down, been treated like second-class citizens, but yet we still survive and continue to fight," Akkhuz-ri explained.
For the Gnoll, it's their willingness to resort to any form of brutality.
"We don't care what we have to do, whether it's getting something we want or to send a message. No one is safe, even if it means we have to slaughter an entire village full of peasants. To us, those who stand in front of us are nothing more than fresh meat," Rattlefang spoke.
Coming up, it's a battle of two animalistic warriors of fantasy to determine who is The Fictional Deadliest Warrior!
XXXXXXX
With our testing completed and our X-factors evaluated, we are now one step closer to determining who will be "The Fictional Deadliest Warrior."
Our teams tested 5 weapons used by the Khajiit: the Khajiit Sword, the Steel Battle Axe, Recurve Bow, and their Flanged Mace and Claws combo.
On the opposite side, 5 weapons used by the Gnoll were tested: the Short Sword, Iron Spear, the Longbow, and their Battle Axe and Fangs combo.
In short range weapons, the Khajiit Sword cut down the Short Sword.
EDGE: Khajiit
In mid-ranged weapons, both weapons had their strengths that kept them on even footing.
EDGE: Even
In long range weapons, both bows were able to nearly match each other shot for shot.
EDGE: Even
Lastly in special weapons, the Battle Axe/Fangs combo tore through the Flanged Mace and Claws.
EDGE: Gnoll
Our scientists and weapons experts are done with their testing. The results are in and the time has come to decide who will be the victor. To ensure the battle won't be decided by a single, lucky blow, the battle will be simulated one thousand times in a duel to the death.
Who will prevail in a battle between two polar opposites?
Stealthy
(A Khajiit is shown taking aim from a distance with his recurve bow and dropping a Nord scout with a shot through the back.)
vs. Savage
(A Gnoll charges into a small campsite and cuts down the two human soldiers with wild swings from his battle axe.)
Hunters and Slavers
(A group of Gnolls cut through a human caravan in a flurry of iron, one of them grabbing a woman by the arm.)
vs. Thieves and Assassins
(A Khajiit is shown gracefully pick pocketing a merchant before quietly cutting down a town guard with a quick stab from his sword.)
"This is a battle of two very different animal-like warriors and it's time to see who's gonna win this brawl," Eddie said before starting the simulation.
XXXXXXXXXX
In the middle of a forested area, a large humanoid being that looks similar to a hyena is walking through the area, clad in rusted steel lamellar over a torn tunic. In his left hand he carries a steel shield and in his right, an iron spear covered with the blood of a fresh kill. In addition, he has a longbow slung over his right shoulder and a quiver of arrows across his back. There is also a belt carrying a short sword in a scabbard on one side and a battle axe hanging from a loop on the opposite.
This creature is a Gnoll who is trying to return to his pack after being separated from them during an attack on a nearby village.
Nearby, the Gnoll is being observed from a distance by a feline humanoid wearing leather armor and a matching helmet. He is holding a recurve bow in his hands with a quiver full of arrows on his back. In addition, he has a steel battle axe strapped to his back, along with a sword and flanged mace hanging from loops on his belt. There is also a hide shield belonging to him that is propped up against a nearby tree.
This being is a Khajiit who was recruited by the leaders of a local village to hunt down a prominent Gnoll pack leader who had been causing trouble in the area. Going by the description he was given, the feline warrior had found his target. Raising his bow, he took aim and with a deep exhale fired off an arrow that struck the Gnoll.
The Gnoll yelped in surprise as the arrow struck it in the chest, but was saved by his lamellar. Ticked off at the surprise attack, the hyena-like beast snarls as he scans the horizon with his iron spear ready to draw blood, yet he is only met by the whistle of the wind and the rustling of branches. A split second later his right arm is grazed by another arrow, tearing a large chunk of skin out and leaving him crying out in pain.
Jamming his spear into the ground, the Gnoll drew his longbow and loaded and arrow. He scouted the trees for any signs of his attacker, struggling to control his anger as he kept his grip on the bowstring. It was when he heard a loud snap he fired on impulse, his arrow striking nothing worthwhile.
Driven by feral instinct, the Gnoll made his way into the row of trees searching for the unseen attacker, firing another arrow into a tall tree after thinking he had spotted movement. He was becoming frustrated and increasingly determined to kill his unseen attacker.
Unknown to him, the Khajiit was sneaking up behind him with his flanged mace drawn, ready to bash his skull in. The feline humanoid crept along careful to avoid any branches or crumpled leaves that could risk giving away his position and knelt low as he prepared to leap into the air, only for the Gnoll to turn around at the last second and fire an arrow that struck the Khajiit in his gut.
The Khajiit's leather armor had saved his life, yet he was still smarting from the blow and could feel fresh blood trickling from the small wound beneath. Gritting his teeth through the pain, he saw the Gnoll taken by surprise and scrambling for another arrow from his quiver and that's when he swung his mace, managing to strike the longbow and snapping it in half.
The Gnoll grunted in anger and pulled the short sword from his scabbard, leaping backwards to dodge another swing from the Khajiit's mace before leaping forward to deliver a stab which his feline adversary avoided and followed up with another strike from his mace that struck the Gnoll in his armored side and knocked the wind out of him.
The Gnoll is sent staggering backwards and stumbles across his steel shield, which he quickly scoops up and raises just in time to intercept another strike from the Khajiit's mace. The feline humanoid draws his arm back readying for another strike, yet the Gnoll pushes forward and checks the Khajiit with a blow from his shield before following up with a slash from his short sword that cuts into the feline's forearm and forces him to drop his mace.
The Khajiit looks down at the blood flowing from the fresh wound on his forearm and then back up to the charging Gnoll again trying to run him through with his sword. He manages to barely sidestep the attack and then reclaims his hide shield before drawing his own sword. Following another attempted strike from the Gnoll, the two fighters meet in a clash of sparks and iron that sees both blades flying back and forth, only to be blocked by the others' shields.
There is another lock of blades that results in a brutal back and forth struggle, the smaller Khajiit showing surprising strength and resilience against the larger Gnoll. He had to think quick and shot his foot out into the hyena humanoid's knee, bringing the giant down to his level and causing him to lose his grip on his short sword. He attempted to follow up with a decapitative strike to his foe, but again the Gnoll raised his shield to intercept the blow and shoved him backwards onto his butt.
The Gnoll reaches down to his belt again and this time draws his battle axe, circling the Khajiit as he pushes himself back to his feet and waits for his larger opponent to make the first move. The feline warrior is aware he is being baited and stares quietly at the larger being, only slightly backing up and taking advantage of his opponent's savage nature, waiting as he takes the first move and tries bringing his axe down on his head.
The Khajiit moves at the last second and delivers another strike from his sword that again only scratches the Gnoll's lamellar. He tries to aim lower, but the hyena humanoid moves with great agility for his size and swings his battle axe, delivering enough of his blade to slice into the Khajiit's thigh and send him wobbling backwards.
The Gnoll swung high at the Khajiit's head, which was barely blocked by the feline warrior's hide shield. He went for another, but the Khajiit was able to bring his shield up and deflect the axe's blow, sending it flying into the trunk of another tree. With another quick swing of his sword, the Khajiit brought his blade down to split the axe's wooden shaft before the owner could think of retrieving it.
The Gnoll was left temporarily unarmed and could only bring his shield up for protection against the blows raining down upon him from the Khajiit's sword. It was then he looked over and remembered his iron spear still planted in the ground nearby. With a desperate sideways swing of his shield, he was able to knock the wind out of the Khajiit and follow up with a punch that knocked the feline warrior onto his back and then bolted towards his waiting spear.
The Khajiit grunted as he struck a nearby tree trunk and felt his sword leap from his hand. His world was rocked by the blows from his enemy's shield and he struggled to steady himself as his head was left spinning and his vision was blurred. Blinking his eyes rapidly, he looked over to catch sight of his enemy running towards his spear sticking out of the ground. He had to stop him and following a labored grunt, pushed himself back to his feet and pulled out the steel battle axe strapped to his back as he limped after him.
The Gnoll hobbled over and grasped his iron spear, turning around just in time to see the Khajiit rushing after him with his own battle axe drawn and barely dodged a swing from the large blade. He responded by shooting his spear into the Khajiit's thigh, causing his enemy to cry out.
Seeing the blood trickling down the feline humanoid's leg, the Gnoll became excited and tried to work the tip in deeper, drawing more blood and forcing his enemy to cry out.
It was becoming a desperate situation for the Khajiit as the spear tip tore through his flesh and the pain was becoming unbearable, yet he had to keep fighting on. In one last act, he brought his axe down onto the spear's shaft and with the weapon split in half, he lunged at the Gnoll swinging his claws for the hyena humanoid's face.
The Gnoll yelped as the claws dug into the side of his face, followed by another painful strike and then a wet tearing as his right eye was gouged out of its socket.
Yet through all the blood and pain, the Gnoll remained as defiant and maniacal as ever, managing to grab the Khajiit by his shoulders and pull him close to bite down on the feline humanoid's neck.
The Khajiit gasped aloud and flailed his arms wildly attempting to free himself, yet the Gnoll dug his teeth in deeper, tearing through the layers of flesh until he was reaching the jugular. Feeling the blood entering his mouth, he began shaking his head even more violently until he was greeted by a sick, wet tear and only then did he release his prey, letting him collapse to the ground in a twitching heap.
Spitting out a mouthful of bloody chunks, the Gnoll reared his head back and roared in victory.
XXXXXXXXXX
Winner: Gnoll
Gnoll:
Short Sword: 74
Iron Spear: 210
Longbow: 85
Battle Axe: 163
Fangs: 2
Total: 534
Khajiit:
Khajiit Sword: 93
Steel Battle Axe: 175
Recurve Bow: 100
Flanged Mace: 95
Claws: 3
Total: 466
"It was another fairly close battle between two warriors of fantasy with the Gnoll coming out on top thanks in part to his greater strength, his superior armor, and the greater reliability of his spear and battle axe, which both proved less physically taxing on the user compared to what the Khajiit brought to the battle.
"While the Khajiit was skilled in stealth and also faster and more agile, he was better suited for taking an opponent by surprise as opposed to direct combat. He still did not make this an easy fight thanks in part to him bringing a more dependable sword and his greater marksmanship," Bradley concluded.
"It doesn't matter what some magical recreation thinks! A Khajiit would have the patience to wait and kill the Gnoll in his sleep," Kharjo grunted.
"Those cat people should have just stuck to hunting rats. We showed them what happens when they come after a real predator," Rattlefang snickered.
(The Gnoll is shown walking along a woodland trail with a captured Nord woman tied up and being dragged behind him, ready to be sold into slavery. He marches with his spear upright, the severed head of the defeated Khajiit atop, another trophy of his latest victory.)
XXXXXXXXXX
Next time on "Fictional Deadliest Warrior," it's Spy vs. Spy:
(A dark-haired man in a black tuxedo walks into view, only to abruptly turn to the screen, point his gun and shoot.)
James Bond: The sly super spy with a license to kill who covertly serves the Crown's best interests...
vs.
(A brunette woman in a white and orange outfit stands with a pistol in hand, lowering her shades to wink at the camera.)
Cate Archer: The seductive ex-cat burglar turned spy who has thwarted numerous attempts at world domination.
Who will be...THE FICTIONAL DEADLIEST WARRIOR?!
XXXXXXXXXX
Author's Note: I tried to keep the basis for both of these warriors fairly open ended as the Khajiit appear in more than one Elder Scrolls game and the same goes for the Gnoll in Dungeons & Dragons, so they aren't based upon their appearance in any particular game. I figured this would be a close battle and could have turned out differently had I used some of the initial weapons ideas I had for the Khajiit.
The Khajiit and all Elder Scrolls references are owned by Bethesda Game Studios and the Gnoll and all Dungeons and Dragons references are owned by Wizards of the Coast.
With apologies to Elder Scrolls fans.
As always, read and review and keep it FUCKING METAL!