Lily at Halloween.
LILY XXVII
They Apparated in front of the castle's gates. Everything was dark, the only lights around being those coming from Hogwarts, ahead of them.
"Ah. It's so good to be back. I can't remember the last time I visited my old school," Ludovic Bagman exclaimed.
In comparison to the Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports, Lily and the other man who followed him looked quite gloomy. The main was reason was that the third member of their small group was Bartemius Crouch Senior, a man who almost never smiled. And since Lily was there officially to keep an eye on him, her mood could have been better. Though she supposed it was better than his, since she would get the chance to see her son one last time before her departure for Europe.
This was the favor she asked of Amelia Bones. Since Crouch was going to Hogwarts for the opening of the Triwizard Tournament, and he was supposed to be watched, she asked that she would accompany him there, giving her an opportunity to see Harry before she left. Still, she wished she could see her son in other circumstances than while keeping an eye on Crouch.
"Well, let's go. We must not let our public wait," the former Beater declared. He walked forward, Lily and Crouch following him.
"I don't see why you were sent to escort me," Crouch told Lily in a whisper as Bagman walked a little ahead of them, talking alone to himself. "It's not as if I'm going to escape."
"Part of your agreement is that you accept to be watched at any time while you exercise your functions," Lily reminded him.
"Still, I'm not going to do much tonight. I'm merely here as a representative of the Ministry. And if there is one place in the world where you won't find who you're looking for, it's at Hogwarts."
Lily had to silently agree with him. She didn't see how Crouch could ever manage to get inside Hogwarts. Although Wormtail did succeed in this endeavour last year. But Crouch Junior was no Animagus.
"I don't blame you, though." Lily was taken aback by Crouch's remark. "You want to see your son before you leave. I understand that. What wouldn't we do for our children?"
Lily was almost surprised by his empathic tone. However, she decided to ignore it. It wasn't that Crouch guessed she was actually there to see Harry. It was that he accurately guessed she would be leaving the country too. She would need to inform Amelia about this. Perhaps someone informed him about it. Though he may just have guessed it through logic. After all, if Bartemius Crouch could be qualified using various insults, stupidity was not among his flaws.
They were walking towards castle when someone hailed them.
"Hey! Lily!"
She recognized immediately the booming voice of the half-giant as Hagrid walked towards them from behind.
"Hagrid. It's good to see you again," she said.
"A pleasure. Mr Crouch. Mr Bagman," Hagrid said as he clumsily bowed towards them. Bagman seemed delighted and shook hands with Hagrid.
"It is a pleasure to… see you again, Hagrid," he said, wincing as Hagrid crunched his hands in his own.
"All the pleasure is for me, Mr Bagman. I know a couple of students who are going to be excited to see you tonight. You could tell them a few stories of when you were playing as a Beater here at Hogwarts."
"Ah! My finest years. You can count on me. And since you were there, Hagrid, you could provide some details as someone who was watching my games instead of playing them."
"Er, of course. I don't remember a lot from this time, but I should be able to…"
"Perfect. But what are we doing here, staying out in the cold? Let's head inside and enjoy the feast. It's been so long since I have participated to one in Hogwarts."
They headed forward, Bagman still talking with animation, while Hagrid talked to Lily in a more contained way.
"It's Harry who's going to be happy to see you. He didn't tell me you were coming," he said.
"Because he doesn't know. I… It was a last minute decision," she answered shortly.
It was. It had been taken yesterday, and she barely had time to write to her son as she prepared her operation on the continent. She finally gave up writing him as he may only receive her letter too late.
"Well, that is the best surprise we could have for the opening of the tournament," Hagrid declared.
Once in the Entrance Hall, they went separate ways. Hagrid walked directly through the Great Hall while Lily, Bagman and Crouch took another route to come into the Great Hall from behind the staff table. Still, Dumbledore noticed their presence right away as they emerged into the Great Hall.
Last time Lily had been there was after the accident in the Chamber of Secrets, over a year ago. The place was still the same as during her childhood, though maybe a little brighter and more polished than in her memories. Perhaps this was an effort from the staff to make the castle as presentable as possible for their guests.
"Barty. Ludo. Welcome to Hogwarts," the Headmaster, calling them by their first names as if he knew them since they were children. Which was probably the case. Dumbledore was certainly headmaster, or at least professor at Hogwarts when both men studied there.
"It's a great pleasure to be back, Dumbledore," Bagman said. "And for the Triwizard Tournament on top of that."
"Dumbledore," Crouch curtly said, briefly shaking his hand nonetheless. The Headmaster then turned to her.
"And Lily. It's good to see you tonight."
"Thank you, professor. But I'm merely here as an escort and protection for Mr Bagman and Mr. Crouch. Please do as if I wasn't there," she asked him with a smile.
"If that is your wish. I can also bring an additional chair for you."
"No. Thanks for the offer. But I already ate, anyway."
"As you please. Professor Karkaroff, Madam Maxime, let me introduce you…"
Dumbledore went to present the two heads of departments at the Ministry to the headmasters of the two other schools. Lily knew only one of them, and he seemed quite surprised to see her there. Karkaroff's eyes grew wide as they laid on Lily, and he briefly nodded in her direction to acknowledge her presence. As for Madame Maxime, the headmistress of Beauxbatons, she only briefly seemed to notice Lily's presence, and focused on Bagman and Crouch. A few moments later, both men were sitting, while Lily remained behind the table, watching Crouch. Although he wasn't the only one she watched.
She searched the Gryffindor table with her eyes, and quickly found her son… who had already noticed her arrival and was staring right at her in complete surprise. Lily smiled and winked at him. It had to be quite a surprise for him. She then subtly used her wand to make the small piece of paper in her pocket fall to the floor, then crawl under the staff table, then towards the Gryffindor table, sneaking between the chairs, the feet of students and food remains that inevitably fell on the floor, until it climbed along Harry's leg and he caught it. He opened the message, then looked at her, and nodded. She nodded in return.
Lily spent the rest of the feast keeping an eye on Crouch, but also looking around the Great Hall. It looked more crowded than usual. Perhaps it was because of the additional students, some wearing blue from Beauxbatons, others wearing red from Durmstrang. Lily had to admit she was fascinated by some of them. She noticed the presence of Viktor Krum among the visitors from Durmstrang. Lily already knew he would be there. Bagman told them in advance before they left the Ministry. The students from Beauxbatons didn't have any celebrity in their ranks, but Lily felt they attracted just as much attention as those from the north.
Lily had to admit she was somewhat envious to see the others eating. But she decided it wouldn't be appropriate for her to sit among professors, especially since the real reason why she came here tonight was only to see Harry. She and her son exchanged a few looks during supper. When finally it was over, the dishes were cleaned instantly, and Dumbledore stood up to speak.
"The moment has come," he declared theatrically. "The Triwizard Tournament is about to start."
Lily felt great tension in the Great Hall as he spoke. It was obvious everyone had been waiting for that moment. Lily herself was intrigued.
"I would like to say a few words of explanation before we bring in the casket." A few people in the Great Hall seemed unsure as to what he meant. "Just to clarify the procedure which we will be following this year. But firstly, let me introduce, for those who do not know them, Mr Bartemius Crouch, Head of the Department of International Magical Co-operation."
Some polite applause followed, and Crouch merely nodded to acknowledge it.
"And," Dumbledore continued, "Mr Ludo Bagman, Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports."
This time, applauses were much more enthusiastic, and Bagman stood up to wave at the students in thanks. He was obviously the most popular here, certainly due to his career as a Beater.
"Mr Bagman and Mr Crouch," Dumbledore resumed as applause receded, "have worked tirelessly over the last few months on the arrangements for the Triwizard Tournament. And they will be joining myself, Professor Karkaroff and Madame Maxime on the panel which will judge the champions' efforts."
Dumbledore then paused. Lily felt that everyone was waiting for what he would say next.
"The casket, then, if you please, Mr Filch."
The old caretaker came forward, carrying a wooden chest with jewels on it. All students and professors from all countries were clearly excited. Filch carefully placed the casket in front of Dumbledore on the staff table while the Headmaster resumed talking.
"The instructions for the tasks the champions will face this year have already been examined by Mr Crouch and Mr Bagman. And they have made the necessary arrangements for each challenge. There will be three tasks, spaced throughout the school year, and they will test the champions in many different ways. Their magical prowess, their daring, their powers of deduction and, of course, their ability to cope with danger. As you know, three champions compete in the Tournament, one from each participating schools. They will be marked on how well they perform each of the Tournament tasks and the champion with the highest total after task three will win the Triwizard Cup. The champions will be chosen by an impartial selector. The Goblet of Fire."
Albus Dumbledore drew out his wand at this moment, and he tapped the casket. It opened, and Dumbledore took from it a large, plain, used cup made of wood, but with blue-white flames dancing in it already. Lily smiled. Some people in the crowd of students and professors looked mesmerized by the view of it. Lily, in fact, wasn't that impressed, but it reminded her of the various methods used by Muggles during Olympic Games to light a flame that would remain lit for the whole duration of the games. She still remembered how the flame was carried at Lillehammer in February. Though she still wasn't sure how she managed to find time to watch the games through her Auror training and her work.
This cup, however, or the Goblet of Fire to be more precise, clearly worked with magic rather than technology, and each and every pair of eyes in the Great Hall was staring at it as Dumbledore carefully positioned it on top of the casket.
"Anybody wishing to submit themselves as champion must write their name and school clearly upon a slip of parchment, and drop it into the Goblet," Dumbledore announced. "Aspiring champions have twenty-four hours in which to put their names forward. Tomorrow night, Halloween, the Goblet will return the names of the three it has judged most worthy to represent their schools. The Goblet will be placed in the Entrance Hall tonight, where it will be freely accessible to all those wishing to compete. To ensure that no underage student yields to temptation, I will be drawing an Age Line around the Goblet of Fire once it has been placed in the Entrance Hall. Nobody under the age of seventeen will be able to cross the line."
Lily felt a wave of relief go through her as Dumbledore made this declaration. If it was Dumbledore who drew this line, then no problem was to be expected. Children would not be able to participate even if they wanted. She looked at Harry, who seemed to be drinking every word his Headmaster was saying. Lily also felt relieved that, if Harry ever had the foolish idea of placing his name, he wouldn't be able to do so. Not that she really thought her son would be stupid enough to do something like this. Harry did some stupid things in the past, and he had a competition spirit similar to that of his father. It was obvious from the way he threw himself into Quidditch. But she didn't think seriously Harry would attempt to go over the rules and participate to the tournament. Still, it was a good thing to know that if he ever had this idea, he wouldn't be able to carry it out.
"Finally," Dumbledore said, this time his voice being very serious, "I wish to impress upon any of you wishing to compete that this Tournament is not to be entered into lightly. Once a champion has been selected by the Goblet of Fire, he or she is obliged to see the Tournament through to the end. The placing of your name in the Goblet constitutes a binding, magical contract. There can be no change of heart once you have become champion. Please be very sure, therefore, that you are whole-heartedly prepared to play, before you drop your name into the Goblet. Now, I think it is time for bed. Good night to you all."
Students slowly stood up from their seats. They seemed in no hurry to leave the Great Hall. Karkaroff and Madame Maxime wished a good night to Dumbledore and went to lead their students out, probably back to the carriage and the ship Lily saw when she arrived. As for Bagman and Crouch, they remained behind to speak with Dumbledore.
"We have made arrangements for you to be able to sleep at Hogwarts tonight," Dumbledore told them, addressing not only the two men in front of him, but also Lily.
"Thank you, Dumbledore. This is very attentive," Bagman replied.
"Thank you," Crouch curtly replied. "If you don't mind, Dumbledore, I will withdraw for tonight. I have work to do. And I would appreciate to have a connection to the Floo Network like I asked for."
"Don't worry, Barty. Everything is arranged," Dumbledore said.
"Come on, Barty," Bagman said. "You should take it easy. This the opening of the Triwizard Tournament."
"Yes, and this means a lot remains to do for tomorrow," Crouch retorted.
Lily, in the meantime, kept an eye on her son as he progressed to the heavy doors. She wouldn't get the chance to talk with him tonight. It would have to wait for tomorrow. However, as he was about to get through the doors, Karkaroff and the students of Durmstrang reached the doors as well. Lily saw Harry stop and, as Karkaroff was about to get through the doors, he stopped as well and stared at her son. The students of Durmstrang stopped as well, and Lily saw the usual signs and behaviors among these boys and girls who realized who Harry was. Lily clenched her wand in her robes, ready to intervene if necessary. However, after some time and as Karkaroff seemed to realize he was blocking everyone from leaving the Great Hall, the Head of Durmstrang directed his students to follow him, and they all left. Lily breathed a sigh of relief. Bagman and Crouch finished discussing with Dumbledore, and they left as well. Lily decided it wasn't worth following Crouch. He was inside Hogwarts now, and all communications he would have through the Floo Network would be monitored by people at the Ministry. She had someone else to talk to. As if he guessed her intentions, Dumbledore came to her.
"An exciting event, isn't it?" he asked pleasantly.
"Yes," she replied. "I hope no student will die this time though."
"We took all the necessary precautions, Lily. You don't have to worry. Anyway, it's not as if your son had any chance of participating anyway. I don't picture Harry trying to put his name in the Goblet."
She laughed nervously. "No, indeed. Though it would have been his father's style."
She said nothing after that. The thought of James still had a tendency to overcome her when they were around the date of his death. She looked at her watch. Soon, they would be on October 31, and it would be thirteen years since her husband died.
"Let's go into my office," Dumbledore offered. "We'll be more comfortable."
Lily followed the old man. He offered her some tea after they settled in his office behind the gargoyle.
"Thank you for allowing me to spend tomorrow with Harry," she told him.
"It's only natural, Lily. I know this day is always hard for you," he replied. She nodded. She asked Dumbledore a while ago to let her spend the day with Harry before the ceremony when champions would be designated. "Though… Correct me immediately if I'm wrong, but I feel that there is something you want to tell me."
Indeed, there was. Lily told him about the progress they made in tracking Bartemius Crouch Junior. Dumbledore listened attentively as she explained what was coming.
"So… Tomorrow will be even more meaningful that I thought," he finally said.
"I might be gone for months. And I will not be able to communicate with Harry during this period."
Dumbledore nodded. "I will keep an eye on him, Lily. I promise. As for Crouch Junior, it doesn't surprise me that much. I'm keeping an eye on Albania as well since it seems that Voldemort is still hiding there. And there are more people than we might think who know he is down there." He looked straight in her eyes. "You're going to face great dangers once there, Lily. Voldemort might be weakened, but he is still very dangerous, as he proved it when you faced him two years ago."
"No need to remind me," she uttered. The images of her son, gagged and bound, were still clear and fresh in her mind.
"I can have some of our people go with you, if you want? Two heads have more value than one."
"No. It's a mission for the Ministry. I prefer to not drag anyone else in it. I think Amelia is already suspecting that I told you about all this."
"Of course, she suspects. But I don't think we have to worry about that. Amelia and I always had a cordial relationship. She understands we want the same thing."
"Dumbledore… There is something that troubles me. This is about Wormtail."
"Pettigrew," Dumbledore whispered.
"Yes. When… When he assaulted Harry last year… He collected some of his blood, and he said that Voldemort needed it. And now, it seems that Wormtail did go where Voldemort was. He probably met him. If… what would Voldemort want to do with Harry's blood?"
"There could be many things he could do with blood. In fact, I already suspected that Pettigrew was acting on Voldemort's orders. What Kassandra told you though reinforces my suspicions. And it increases the risks that Voldemort might get back another servant very soon."
"Kassandra?" Lily asked, frowning.
"The woman you met at the Department of Mysteries. I know her. She's helped in the past against Voldemort, both during and after the war. She's hard to contact, and I rarely get to see her, but whenever she shows up, she always provides significant help. But anyway… the most important will be to catch Crouch Junior before he does something we will all regret."
On that, Lily agreed. "Please tell Alastor to keep an eye on Harry for me as well."
"I already did it. But I'll repeat the message still, even though Alastor rarely needs to be told twice about something."
"Where is he, by the way? I didn't see him of the whole evening. He wasn't at the staff table."
"He was called to take care of some matters outside. He will be back tomorrow morning. By the way, he was impressed by Harry."
"He was?"
"Yes. He might not show it, but I think your son is his favourite student."
Lily wasn't sure if it was a good thing. "The year is going to be difficult for Harry then."
Dumbledore had a half-smile, showing he understood what Lily meant. She later went to the chamber that was arranged for her. Before that though, she made a detour to the kitchens, and talked to Dobby, asking him to keep an eye on Harry for her over the year. The elf accepted enthusiastically. Then Lily went to bed.
She woke up early next morning, and went outside in the park, near the Quidditch pitch, where she asked her son to join her. In the morning mist, you could distinguish the mast of the vessel Durmstrang used to come to Hogwarts, while gigantic flying horses of Beauxbatons drank in huge buckets not far away, near Hagrid's home. Lily noticed the carriage was moved closer to his home in the night.
Lily had mixed feelings about the Triwizard Tournament. On one side, she would have appreciated the opportunity to meet people from other countries during her childhood at Hogwarts. And, despite not being as enthusiastic as others when it came to sports competition, she had her moments. However, being born in the Muggle world and having spent years there with her son, she wasn't that attached to special events of the wizarding world. And when people such as Dumbledore kept warning that such a competition was dangerous and cost lives in the past, she felt quite uneasy about all this. Lily wasn't prejudiced against wizarding competitions. She knew that competitions among Muggles had their own flaws. Although it was rare, it did happen for people to die in various sports. The level of competition and will for victory was so strong in some disciplines and at high level that people could ruin their lives for the sake of winning a medal or a title. Cheating was common among athletes, some consuming so many steroids that it led to their death. And some athletes began their career so early that they barely had a childhood. She even heard once that female athletes purposefully got pregnant before competitions to improve their performance, only to have an abortion once the competition was over. Despite reassurances that all precautions were taken, she was worried about the Triwizard Tournament and what might happen during it. Well, at least, it would be an event Harry could get his attention on while she was away.
She asked Harry to meet her there so she could spend some time alone with him, and also to spare him any potential embarrassment in front of his friends. Her boy was fourteen now, and Lily was conscious that seeing him with his mother at Hogwarts in such circumstances could provoke some mockeries among the other students. Lily had been at school at this age, so she knew what she was talking about. Her son was growing up, as evidenced by this summer's events, causing Lily to worry even more.
She knew it would happen one day. She knew her son was growing up, slowly becoming a man, but it seemed to happen much quicker than she thought it would. She was shocked when she overheard a conversation he had with Hermione at the Quidditch World Cup. Lily should not have been that surprised that Harry dated a girl. After all, he was at the age when that kind of things started. What shocked her the most was that he didn't tell her. She thought that Harry would tell her about something like that, not keep it to himself. But according to Sirius, who spoke with Harry about it at Lily's request, since she thought her son would be more comfortable to speak about it with his godfather than with his mother, Harry began seeing that girl while she was going through her final trials to become an Auror, when Lily was not allowed any communication with her relatives and friends. And it seemed the relationship was not very serious, as Harry broke up with her after about a month spent together. He was already thinking about ending things with her when they came back from their vacation in France.
Lily had never dared to discuss all this with Harry. It was strange. Usually, she never had any problem discussing his personal life and problems with her son. She could even easily talk to him about her own personal issues. Why was she so uncomfortable discussing his love life? Well, there was a part of her who wished Harry was still a little boy, and the mere fact he dated a girl, as shortly as it was, was like throwing that reality bluntly into her face.
Lily wished more than ever that James was still with them. Harry was his son. He would find the right words to talk about this with him. But instead, here she was, waiting for Harry to see what he would think of the idea to go to Godric's Hollow. Lily didn't consider anything sure now. She wouldn't be surprised if Harry wanted to stay at Hogwarts today, with the Triwizard Tournament about to begin. He was certainly excited to see the competition begin. It wasn't all days that such an event took place at Hogwarts. Still… She couldn't give up on the idea of Harry coming with her today. His presence always helped her in this day.
So early in the morning, there were very few people in the park. But it wasn't very long before a lone figure came out of the castle. Even from afar, Lily would recognize her son anywhere. In no time, he was in voice's reach of her.
"Hi, Mom."
"Hi, my dear."
They hugged, and Lily ruffled his hair, earning a laugh from him in the process. She liked doing it. It reminded her that Harry remained her son, no matter how grown up he could be or would become.
"I'm sorry for the surprise," she told him as they separated. "It was decided that I would come only the day before."
"It's fine," he said. "I'm glad to see you. I was wondering… what we would do for Halloween."
And so the matter was on the table right away. "Well… If you want, I would like it if we could go to Godric's Hollow for today. We would come back in time for the choosing of the champions tonight."
She looked at her son, afraid he might be sad or recalcitrant to the idea. But instead he nodded.
"Yes, it's a good idea." She felt relieved, but still…
"If you stay here today, with the tournament, I would understand…"
"No, that's fine," he cut her. "Anyway, my friends know I usually spend time with you… on Halloween."
She smiled fondly at him. He had no idea how touched she felt. "Thank you, my dear. Well, in this case, we can go now, if you want."
"Of course."
She had made sure to get Dumbledore's authorization in advance to bring her son out today. So they left through the portal, and Apparated to Godric's Hollow.
"Still the same," she commented as they emerged in one of the main streets. The small church was visible nearby. "You didn't eat, I guess."
"No," he replied.
"Me neither. Let's get some breakfast to begin."
They went into a small restaurant where they ate copious portions of bacon, toasts, broiled eggs and sausages.
"You liked your year so far?" she asked.
"Yes. Though the lessons are getting harder. Professors give us a lot of homework," he said.
She nodded empathically. "Your O.W.L.s are approaching. It was already like this in my time."
"I know, but they're still for next year."
"I'm afraid you'll have to live with that, my dear. It's not going to get any easier. Each year, you'll have more work to do."
"You're not very encouraging, Mom."
"Would you like me to lie and tell you that everything will be easy?" Her son didn't answer, but she didn't need one to know what he was thinking. "While I was following my training, my instructors warned me that it would be hard, especially in the last year. It might not be pleasant to hear, but believe me, you'll thank your professors when your O.W.L.s will arrive."
Harry nodded. "Mom… Moody gave you lessons during your training?"
"Sometimes. He wasn't working full time. His relations with the Ministry were already strained. How has been as a teacher so far?"
"Well… He's… very direct?"
That, Alastor definitely was. "Yes, he is. He's not taking the soft path or the easy one. He goes straight to the point. But I learned a lot from him. It would be difficult to find an Auror with more experience. Does he often remind you to stay vigilant?"
"Yes, all the time," Harry replied, a strange expression on his face, which Lily deciphered right away.
"Constant vigilance?"
She got her answer as Harry quickly and abruptly lifted his eyes from his plate to look at her. Yes, Alastor definitely pulled the same trick on them.
"Has he always been like this? I mean… Even before? During the war?"
"Well, Alastor has always been very cautious," Lily explained. "You know, Harry, some people believe that Aurors spend their time fighting dark wizards and evil creatures, but the truth is we spend most of our time collecting and analyzing information. Most of the time, when we actually make an attempt to apprehend a suspect, we've had to prepare for dozens if not hundred of hours. Alastor is no different. And we try to capture criminals without killing or harming them. It's more of a play of cat and mouse than a race. So when Alastor Moody arrested someone, he would move slowly and carefully to arrest him at the right time. And he always watched his own back, and the back of his colleagues, to not find himself trapped like his targets. So he's used to remain vigilant. And…" She thought for a moment about what she would say next before she actually spoke. "Alastor sent so many people in Azkaban, caused so many problems to a lot of people that he is likely to be targeted. So his vigilance is not totally unjustified. He's not merely paranoid. People can really be after his life. And considering he specialized in arresting Death Eaters and how so many of them were pardoned or even joined the Ministry after Voldemort disappeared, it's no wonder that he doesn't trust the Ministry anymore."
"And you?"
Lily frowned at her son's question. "What, me?"
"Do you trust the Ministry?"
That was not an easy question to answer. "Well," she said after a moment, "I think there are very good people at the Ministry. Most of the people I work with are." She thought of people like Kingsley, Nymphadora, Arthur, Gen, Miranda, Amelia. "But there are also some people within the Ministry who are not worthy of trust, and they're the ones we must beware of."
"Like Lucius Malfoy?"
Lily could only confirm. "He doesn't work at the Ministry, thank gods. But he has many contacts and a lot of influence within it." She decided though that it was time to change subject. "But what about Hagrid? How is he faring this year?"
Harry went on to tell her about the things Hagrid was trying to make them study. Lily wasn't sure to understand the name clearly, and Harry had to repeat it several times before she got it. He then went on to tell her about his other classes, and shortly lamented on the cancellation of the Quidditch season this year.
"I wish you wrote to me more often," Lily told him as they made to leave the restaurant. "I could hear about it much sooner."
"I know," he answered, looking a little ashamed all of a sudden. "I know I didn't write to you enough. I was… busy."
Lily nodded, but she tried to not make her son feel more guilty. When Harry first arrived at Hogwarts three years ago, he wrote to her every week, sometimes even each day. No matter what, Hedwig would always visit her at least once per week with a new letter, and Lily would always answer it. Harry even told her whenever he was about to do something dangerous or illegal. That was how she warned Dumbledore about Hagrid's baby dragon, and how she learned of his expedition in the dungeons to stop Voldemort in time to rescue him. However, as time went on, the letters started to become sparser. Not in the beginning. Their correspondence remained regular throughout Harry's second year. At the end of the year, he almost wrote to her every day after Hermione was Petrified. Her son was deeply affected by the aggression of his best friend. However, Harry began to not inform her about everything. He stopped telling her about the illegal things he did, like preparing Polyjuice or heading into the Chamber of Secrets. The real change began to happen last year, during his third year at Hogwarts.
Lily thought it was partially her own fault. Her training as an Auror requested more and more of her time, and by cutting corners, she eventually stopped answering some of Harry's letters. Not much, at the beginning. It was only a letter here and there, but in the end of the year, she barely answered half of them, and with much shorter messages than before. Harry too started to put more space between his letters, sending her only once in every two weeks at the end. She even missed his final Quidditch game, the one when he won the Quidditch Cup. Then summer began with her final trials, during which she was totally absent from their apartment, then the events following the Quidditch World Cup required her to work long hours far from home. Since the year began, Harry may have sent her three letters, no more, and although she replied to each one of them, she felt that the special link with her son, the one that grew over ten years as she took sole care of him, was weakening. Not disappearing, but weakened. Perhaps her boy also felt the need to distance himself from her. At this age, perhaps it was only natural. However, this wasn't to make her feel any better.
She didn't know why, but she felt that she had to tell him now.
"Harry, I've got something to tell you," she said as they walked in the small streets of Godric's Hollow. "I'm going to be… unavailable for some time."
Her son looked at her with a quizzical expression. "What do you mean? Unavailable?"
She took a heavy inspiration. "I can't tell you why, but… I received an assignment, and I'll have to move somewhere else for a time. I don't know how long it will last, but you won't be able to reach me during that period. It may be months before we get to see or even write to each other."
She had tried to see with Miranda and Amelia if there was a way for her to keep a contact with her son, if only through letters, but Amelia Bones was intransigent on this. Lily was to go in Europe incognito, and they couldn't risk anything that might compromise her cover.
"But… why?" Her son looked thunderstruck. He even stopped walking to look straight at her. "Where are you going?"
"'I can't tell you, I'm sorry. It's a very important mission. This is all I can tell you, really. I hope it won't be long. Maybe I'll be back in a few weeks, but… There's no certainty. I highly doubt that I'll be back by Christmas. But anyway, I don't think you would have spent the holidays at home this year, with the tournament and everything."
The silence that followed between them was heavy. Saying those things to him, Lily realized it was even more difficult than she initially thought it would be. She tried to rationalize, telling herself that Harry was older, that he could take care of himself and that people at Hogwarts would watch over him in her absence, but it didn't make the thought of being far from him, without even the possibility to receive his letters, unbearable. Without warning, he hugged her. After a while when she was confused, Lily returned his embrace. For a time, she felt good, alone with her son.
The day at Godric's Hollow could have been merrier. Lily wished she could have spent a better time with her son before her departure for the continent, but at the same time, Halloween was never a very good day for them both. The specter of James' death hovered over them, and like every year, this didn't feel more acute than when they both stood before his grave and Lily produced a spray of flowers to cover his grave, Harry tightly holding her hand while she looked at the last resting place of his father, tears threatening to break away from her eyes.
Lily felt some sort of relief when she accompanied Harry back to Hogwarts late in the afternoon, in time for Halloween's feast and the choosing of the Triwizard Tournament's champions. Lily would attend it as well, assuming again her official role of guard for Bagman and Crouch. She quickly ate before the feast though, as she wouldn't be sitting like everyone else.
She went to the office of the professor of Defence Against Dark Arts, hoping that Alastor was back from whatever matter called him yesterday. However, the door was closed shut. Maybe he wasn't back yet, or he was somewhere else in the castle. She went to see one of her former teachers, but luck struck her as she came upon her in the corridors.
"Oh, Lily," Minerva McGonagall said with a smile. "You're back."
"Yes, I am. How are the preparations for tonight?" she asked to feed the conversation.
"We're at it. The elves are doing marvels in the kitchens. I must say that I pity them, to a certain extent. Having to prepare two feasts instead of one. But, well, we all have additional duties to assume with this tournament. By the way, I'm requested somewhere, Lily. If you wish to talk, can we do it on my way?"
"Of course," Lily replied, being accommodating. "How much additional work do you have with this tournament?"
"A lot. And this is only the beginning, I'm afraid. But let's not talk about me. I suppose you want to hear about your son?"
Lily nodded. If there was something she would never be against, it was to hear about Harry from his professors. McGonagall told her that Harry was faring quite well in Transfiguration, but also in most subjects.
"I must say that he is doing very well in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Professor Moody said he was by far the best student he had this year, across all years."
"Really?" Lily asked, surprised. It wasn't Moody's style to say something like this.
"Yes, indeed. In fact…" McGonagall looked around. "Don't tell, Lily. I should probably not tell you this, but… Alastor believes that your son has the making of an Auror."
This revelation surprised Lily and made her feel both proud and worried at the same time. Remus told her something similar last year, but this time, it came from one of the greatest Aurors in history.
"I must admit that I do not totally condone his teaching methods, but… From all accounts, your son's performance in his class is astonishing. He's doing things I don't think I could have done at the same age."
Lily was even more taken aback. Harry talked shortly about his lessons in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Lily didn't notice anything in his way of talking that showed he was spectacularly good in it. But, well, considering he was very good in Remus' class last year, maybe she shouldn't be that surprised.
McGonagall had to leave her not long after, and Lily found herself alone again. She decided it was better to find Crouch. After all, she was supposed to watch over him. She crossed the path of many students along her way. The feast of Halloween was approaching, and she could feel the excited atmosphere in the air as the naming of the champions approached. She just turned a corner and went by a small group of girls when a voice called the name she feared the most from behind her back.
"Mrs Potter."
Lily turned to see the small group of girls she just walked past staring at her. A small girl with Asian features, who she knew only too well, was heading the group, and it was her who called her by the wrong name.
"Hi, Cho. How are you?"
"Eh… I'm fine."
The girl was looking around. Due to the current silence that reigned around with a few whispers that mostly consisted in repeating her family name, Lily didn't need to look around to know the effect that this name had once again.
"Your father asked me to say hello to you from him," Lily added.
"Oh. It's very kind of him," she replied, sounding quite embarrassed.
"Well, I'm going to leave you. I think you have to look forward to tonight."
Lily resumed her path, many young students stepping aside on her way. Lily was not as easily recognized as Harry. She didn't have any scar to attract the attention, but whenever people around her realized who she was, she would get these reactions. Most students were not used to seeing her on a regular basis like her colleagues at the Ministry. Most of the time, they didn't realize who she was until someone said her name. And when it happened, the same thing as with her son took place. The Mother Who Lived was just as famous as the Boy Who Lived. And neither of them appreciated the kind of attention their status brought along.
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