Under pressure from some readers who insisted they wanted another chapter immediately, I decided to upload the next chapter sooner than planned. A chapter for which many of you accurately guessed who the new POV would be.
This takes place the day following the Yule Ball. The aftermath of the Ball is quite rough for many people. And you uncover a mystery from the previous chapter.
SUSAN I
She woke up early, considering the late hour at which she went to bed last night. This wasn't the first time Susan fell asleep so late. Since the start of her third year, due to additional courses and the increased level of homework and exam requirements, Susan had to stay up late sometimes, especially during exam periods. It didn't happen very often, but when someone wanted to have good results, even with the best organization possible, long hours were unavoidable in certain periods. Even Hermione had to go through it.
But right now, Susan didn't feel like she had been studying for a particularly long exam. She felt like a sledgehammer just fractured her skull. She groaned, noticing in the process that her throat and mouth were parched like it was scrubbed with sandpaper. She turned on herself in her bed, a splitting headache forcing another growl from her dry mouth.
The alarm clock indicated it wasn't even seven o'clock. Slowly, she stood up, her long hair falling over her face. The spell holding it to her back ended during the night. She removed it with her hands to clear her vision and headed for the bathroom. She needed some water to quench her thirst, and so she filled a glass full of it and emptied it in one full gulp, then filled another one immediately. She must have drunk too many Butterbeers last night. It wouldn't be the first time it happened. Susan had a bad habit of eating and drinking way too much, until she couldn't swallow anymore, when something was made available in large quantities. That was one of the reasons why her parents avoided buffets, while bringing her into one at her birthday, when it was possible before she arrived to Hogwarts. Though Susan didn't get the impression that she drank too much last night. She may have emptied about four or five bottles of Butterbeer through the entire evening. She couldn't be drunk. The level of alcohol in such a quantity was not sufficient for this. Perhaps though she should have drunk a glass of water at one point or another yesterday. Only, she hadn't thought about it. She had been too busy.
She emptied the second glass. She thought about returning to bed and getting some well necessary sleep, but she didn't think she would be able to fall asleep again. So instead she only went back to gather some clothes for the day, and went to take a shower. She felt much better after it. She then grabbed a brush and a book, and went to the common room, where she proceeded to brush her hair while reading.
Susan liked the common room of Hufflepuff. It was rumored to be the coziest common room in Hogwarts. Filled with overstuffed sofas and armchairs, it was warm in winter, cool in summer. Its underground position protected it from the elements, unlike the towers of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Despite this position, it was also sunny. The circular windows at the top level of the walls allowed light to enter very easily and bathed the place in a warm yellow color that enhanced those of the furniture.
Susan would never forget the day she was sorted into Hufflepuff. She had just arrived at Hogwarts. She was nearly twelve, older than almost all the other students who arrived to the castle for the first time. Susan was born on September 11th, 1979. As such, on September 1st, 1991, she was still eleven, although she would be a year older than all her friends in the same cohort ten days later. On that day though, Susan had not felt older than her comrades. She had felt small, very small. Upon arriving at Hogwarts, she climbed into one of the small boats with her best friend Hannah, and two boys by the name of Seamus and Dean. She was awed by the first sight she got of the castle as they crossed the lake, and also awed by the magical, invisible ceiling of the Great Hall when she entered it for the first time, all the other students, taller than she was, looking at her and the other first-years as they walked between the tables. She was also impressed by Hermione's knowledge as she told them about the ceiling. Because of all that, the splendor of the castle, the other students staring at her, she felt minuscule. And after Hannah was sorted and that her own name was called, she felt so little that she wished she would have disappeared into the floor in that moment.
Susan had been afraid of the Sorting Hat. She was only the second student for the night to put it on. But she was especially afraid of the choice he would make as to which house she should join. Susan's father had been in Ravenclaw back when he went at school. As for her mother, she attended another wizarding school in her hometown of Montreal in Canada, the University, where there were no houses like in Hogwarts or Ilvermony. However, it wasn't her father's house she wanted to join. It was her aunt's. Hufflepuff. The same house her best friend got sorted into right before Susan was called.
Truth be told, Susan would not have minded that much if she had joined the house of Ravenclaw or even Gryffindor. The main reason she wanted to avoid these two houses was that they both had a reputation for cultivating a certain arrogance. That was something Susan wanted to avoid, and sadly enough, this reputation was proved accurate after she came to Hogwarts. The students of Gryffindor had a certain tendency to think of themselves as better because of their courage and principles, while Ravenclaw maintained a certain haughtiness due to the intelligence and academic accomplishments of their students. Hufflepuff was a quieter, humbler house. Susan did not claim that the Hufflepuffs were perfect, but their house encouraged hardworking, patience, perseverance, integrity and being fair. All qualities that Susan and her family valued. It was useless to be intelligent if you didn't work to use it well. Susan's friend, Hermione, was proof of that, since Hermione herself once told her she would never manage to have top marks without working assiduously and regularly.
More than everything, Susan wanted to be in a house she could identify herself to. She didn't like boasting about anything she accomplished. She didn't even tell her parents when Professor Flitwick chose her as the lead vocal in her first performance in Hogwarts' Choir. They only found out about it months later. And then, there was one house where she didn't want to go at all costs: Slytherin. She hated this house. Most of its students were not only arrogant, they were also hateful, despicable and evil. Furthermore, while most of the time Ravenclaws and Gryffindors were proud for successes they achieved, the Slytherins displayed a feeling of superiority due to unworthy things. The worst of all were those who believed themselves superior because of their lineage and ancestry, who called themselves pure-bloods. And many of those were children of or related to Death Eaters. Only in her cohort, Susan had to suffer being in the same year as people named Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Nott. All pure-blood supremacists. Since Susan came from a family who almost took pride in the fact that they had Muggles in their ranks in each generation, and that many of her friends had Muggles in their family, she could only despise this attitude. So Slytherin was out of the question for her.
If the Sorting Hat sent her in Slytherin, Susan thought that she would run out, back to her home, and force her parents to send her into another school. This proved useless, since the Hat sent her directly to Hufflepuff only after a few moments. Susan still remembered very well what that Hat told her at this moment.
Hmm. Where shall I put you? Let's see. I know. HUFFLEPUFF!
Whatever people could say about Hufflepuff not being a house in which you wanted to end up, Susan was overjoyed when the name came out, and she had rushed to join her best friend Hannah, who hugged her when she arrived at the same table where she was. That night, she slept in the Hufflepuff common room for the first time, and for the three years that followed, she never regretted a single moment being sent into this house.
Her hair was coming. Susan had taken a habit of brushing in order to keep it as sleek as possible. It wasn't that difficult, since her hair was naturally smooth, but it could take some time all the same. Sometimes, she also arranged it into a single plait when she wanted, but despite not being very practical, like when they were in Herbology and a plant could grab anything including their hair, Susan preferred to let her hair free. She also got used to brush it mechanically, almost obsessively whenever something troubled her and she needed thinking, such as right now.
However, she didn't think much. Instead, she read the book right in front of her. The fact she read a lot had some of her comrades wonder how she didn't end up in Ravenclaw. It was probably for the same reasons as for Hermione. The Hat must have thought another house would better fit her. And he was right. Susan felt at home in Hufflepuff, although she had her share of difficult periods as well.
She heard someone coming from the corridor that led to the dormitories. Hannah emerged from it, still wearing a nightdress. She didn't look very awake.
"Hey. Here you are. I was… wondering where you were," she said, yawning in the process. This caused Susan to yawn in return. Hannah came to sit next to her and literally dropped herself on the couch next to Susan, almost sliding to the floor on her back. She had her eyes half shut, her hair was a real mess, and she obviously needed more sleep. The common room was empty aside from them. Susan expected it would remain empty for quite some time.
"I think you need some more rest," Susan advised, to which Hannah barely nodded.
"What a night," her best friend said, her half-asleep state also showing up through her voice. "How was yours?"
"It was fine," she answered shortly. Her heart started beating faster.
"I think I danced through all of it. I…" She yawned again. "I stopped at the end, but then I walked around in the gardens. My legs are done. Don't ask them anything today."
"I'll avoid it," Susan said, a smile creeping on her lips. She supposed that Hannah now regretted wearing high heels the whole evening.
"Who did you dance with?"
Again, her heart pumped more rapidly. "I only danced at the opening." It wasn't true, but she didn't want Hannah to ask her more detailed questions.
"I danced with Michael, Ernie, Justin, Wayne, Dean, Neville, Ron, Terry… Oh, I'm not sure anymore. I danced with so many people. Even some from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. I don't remember their names."
"Yes, that's a lot of people," Susan replied, trying to focus on brushing her hair and reading the book on her knees.
"I have never danced so much in my life. I don't think I'm going to do it again anytime soon."
"Good for you."
Hannah had been looking to the ceiling, where a few plants were hanging. Professor Sprout regularly replaced them.
"The evening didn't go right for you, eh?" Hannah asked her.
"No, no. It went okay," she answered quickly. She wished they stopped talking about the ball. "But you know, I wasn't very enthralled by the ball."
"Hmm… Too bad… This was really a great ball…" She yawned once more.
"You should really go back to sleep, Hannah," Susan told her, hoping she would do as she said.
"You're right." She struggled to stand up, but Hannah succeeded. "See you later. I…" New yawn. "I don't know how you do."
Susan watched her friend go back where she came from. She returned her attention to her book, but it was more difficult now to focus entirely on it, especially after Hannah mentioned the Yule Ball. Her mind kept going back to it, as hard as she tried not to think about it.
Susan had woken up well before all her friends. Only around ten o'clock did people start to raise up and the common room began to be filled. Some people did not look better than Hannah when she tried to wake up early in the morning. Susan began to feel guilty about waking up so soon herself. She probably woke up Hannah by accident at this moment.
The people in her year trickled one by one into the common room. Ernie was first and joined her. Then it was Megan, and she joined them as well. As a result, Susan found herself to be a focal point. No one was very talkative, still recovering from last night, which suited Susan very well. She didn't have much envy to talk. However, this slowly changed as their group gathered and headed to the Great Hall. Everyone was a little more woken up and conscious when they arrived in the Great Hall. Some were even laughing. It was almost eleven o'clock.
"Nothing like a good brunch to recover from a big party," Ernie said as he let himself fall on a bench and began immediately to gather food in his plate. "The food was good yesterday. It would be fun if we could command like that more often."
"Continental breakfast!" Wayne tried at this moment, addressing his plate like they did yesterday. Nothing happened. "It was worth a try," he said, disappointed.
"Here, Wayne. I'm going to serve you your breakfast," Megan said, putting some pastries in his plate.
"Thank you."
They were the only couple in their group. Without thinking, Susan looked over her shoulder. She was relieved to see that he wasn't there. He was pretty hard to miss. She relaxed as he wasn't there, and she tried to eat her pancakes.
"I wish I tried the pork shops," Ernie said. "But there were so many good things. I really didn't know what to choose."
"I should have chosen something else than the sushi," Sally-Anne said.
"Why did you take these in the first place? You didn't like it."
"I didn't know before I tasted it. And I wanted to try something new."
"What did you take, Susan?" Hannah asked her.
"Hey, it's true. We didn't see what you took. You were at the champions' table," Wayne noted.
Susan sighed internally. This was exactly the kind of place where she didn't want to go.
"I took some ravioli," she replied shortly, taking a bite of bacon immediately after. "But I believe I enjoyed the music way more than dinner. You loved the first song, Hannah?"
"Oh, yes," her friend replied, delighted. "I never saw magic like that. Those sculptures of ice she built. And how they turned into real structures after that."
"The last song, the one for Durmstrang, was quite impressive, I must say," Ernie said.
"With the fireworks and all? Yes," Wayne added. "I was almost feeling as if we were back to the Quidditch World Cup, but in better."
Susan was relieved. She avoided the matter of her sitting at the top table by moving the attention to another subject. She and Hannah went on to talk about the music, a topic that passioned them both. And when they started discussing the Weird Sisters themselves and all the other tunes they performed over the whole evening, everyone jumped onboard the conversation.
Despite the renewed life into their discussions, no one felt well enough to go anywhere outside today. So they instead lingered into their common room afterwards, continuing to talk about the ball and a few other unrelated subjects, such as their homework they would need to complete now. Few of them had begun before the ball, and now they had a lot to do. Susan kept avoiding certain subjects that she didn't feel like talking about, bringing the conversation elsewhere from time to time.
And then, Justin spoke up. He only participated sporadically to conversations before that moment.
"So, Susan, how was it, sitting at the champions' table?"
She didn't feel like she could dodge it, so she answered in a way that gave the impression it was no big deal.
"It was normal. It was just a table like all the others." Of course, it didn't work, as Justin insisted.
"Normal? Sitting at a table with Harry Potter, Viktor Krum, Albus Dumbledore, the two other headmasters and the beautiful Fleur Delacour?" Susan wanted to grimace when he said the word beautiful about Fleur Delacour. A part of her felt proud on the moment when she retorted to the French champion, but today she was afraid of the consequences it might have for the rest of the year. Her heart also made another jump at the mention of Harry's name.
"Come on, Susan. Give us some details," Megan pleaded. That was it. Susan should have known. She couldn't escape now. "Do you know how Granger managed to end up with Krum?"
"Well…" she began, hesitating. Here was a way out. She could divert the attention to that particular thing. However, she didn't feel like sharing the story of Hermione's personal life with everyone else. She was her friend, and it wasn't because she told Susan how Viktor Krum came to ask her to the ball that she had the right to reveal all of it. She decided it was better to limit herself to a minimum strict.
"From what I understood, he asked her to the ball while she was at the library," Susan said.
"Like that?" Hannah asked. "Out of the blue? Without preamble?"
"I don't know all the details, Hannah. Hermione and I are friends, but we don't pry into each other's private life."
"Well, I was completely surprised when I saw that she was with Viktor Krum. I was sure that she would come with Harry."
"How did you end up with Harry at the ball?" Justin asked Susan. "I thought you said you didn't want to go with anybody because you didn't know how to dance."
That was indeed what she told Justin when he invited her early in December, and why she refused to go with him. And that was true. So, even though she was conscious about the accelerated beating of her heart, she answered to him with the truth.
"I crossed his path a few days before the ball," she explained. "He said that he didn't have anyone to go with, so we agreed to go together so he wouldn't be alone for the opening dance."
It was the truth. She offered Harry to accompany him to the ball so he wouldn't be alone to open it. This was really the only reason why she did that back then.
"Well, for someone who doesn't know how to dance, you two certainly danced quite well," Justin commented. Susan began to sense there were something wrong. His tone was not very pleasant.
"McGonagall showed them how to dance," Hannah said. "You remember how she left in the evening in the days before the ball? It was for that."
Susan had already told everything to Hannah at the ball yesterday. Luckily for her, her best friend believed her. She had no reason anyway to not believe it since Susan had only told her truth.
"Ah. That explains lots of things," Ernie said, laughing a little. "But Susan, why didn't you tell us you were going with Harry?"
"For the same reason that Hermione told no one that she was going with Krum," she retorted, beginning to grow impatient. "I didn't want everyone to ask me questions about it, or to mock me."
"We would never have mocked you," Ernie assured.
"By the way, Susan, since you were at the table of the champions, do you know what happened with Fleur Delacour during the feast?" Wayne asked. "At one moment, she stood up and yelled something, but we couldn't understand. She was talking too quickly."
"Yes, about half the Great Hall noticed her," Sally said.
"Oh." Susan rolled her eyes. At least, that was something she was more comfortable answering. This brought them away from the subject of her date with Harry. "To make it short, that girl spent the entire dinner complaining and criticizing everything there was. Hogwarts, the castle, the park, the decorations, the music, the food. And Roger Davies was sitting next to her, approving everything she said and staring at her as if nothing else existed in the world. A ghost would have had an easier time getting food inside his stomach."
Some laughed a little at this, especially the boys, except Justin. The girls rolled their eyes for most of them, except for Hannah who was laughing. "Well, someone else fell under the spell of the Beauxbatons champion," Susan's best friend declared with a smile.
"That must not have been that bad," Wayne commented.
"No, it was worse," Susan said. "Because she also insulted everyone who was sitting at the table. And not only at our table. Only, she insulted them in French, so no one would understand."
The only problem for Fleur had been that, unknow to her, there was someone else at the table than her headmistress who could speak perfectly in French and who understood everything she was saying. Fleur probably never suspected that Susan's mother came from a corner of Canada where the French language was part of the national identity of a minority, and that she taught her daughter the language as she grew up, at the same time than English, and still often talked with Susan in French when she was at home.
"But you understand French, Susan," Justin pointed out.
"Hey, it's true," Megan said, sounding very interested. "What was she saying exactly?"
"Nothing worth repeating," Susan answered. She wanted these questions to end. She didn't like being the center of attention within a group.
"Oh, come on, Susan, tell us."
"Yeah, tell us why she made a scene and threw a tantrum in the middle?" Ernie asked. He looked almost amused by the situation. Reluctantly, Susan decided to tell them the truth. After all, it could only show them who Fleur Delacour really was.
"She just said something I didn't like about me, so I told her that, unlike her, I didn't risk no longer fitting into my dress at the end of the ball."
There was a silence for a short time. Then Hannah burst into laughs. "I would have liked to be there to see that."
"Me too. Good retort," Ernie said.
"Oh, so that's why she reacted like that. She was angry after you," Megan concluded.
"Yes," Susan confirmed.
It had been quite a satisfying moment. The students of Beauxbatons often sat with the Ravenclaws, and their table was next to that of Hufflepuff. As a result, and since Fleur Delacour rarely said her opinion loudly, Susan not only heard most of what she said, which consisted mainly in critics of everything there was in Hogwarts, but she also understood everything this girl said when she spoke in French with her friends, when she said her most negative and insulting comments. It had felt good to put her back to her place, for once. Susan usually ignored people who mocked her or her friends, but that time had been too much.
"Well, we couldn't enjoy the outburst of the French champion, but we had our lot of drama to witness as well," Ernie stated in an uncertain way.
"Oh," Hannah said, looking quite uncertain as well, even exasperated. "That thing with Lavender Brown? Yes, hard to miss."
Susan rolled her eyes. "What did she do, this time?" she asked. Lavender was known for doing things that could be stupid at times.
"Well, the table where she sat was right next to ours. There were many Gryffindors around it with her. We heard everything," Hannah said. "And she threw quite a speech against Harry."
"Harry? Why against him?"
"Because apparently, Harry dated her best friend, Parvati, last summer, and he broke up with her. She talked nonstop about it for five minutes maybe. And she had a few chosen words about you too."
Susan didn't enjoy listening to Hannah and the others relating everything Lavender said. Hannah poured out about her surprise that Harry dated Parvati Patil and that she never knew about it before yesterday. But the others mostly made fun of Lavender, saying she was so abrasive that after the initial surprise at the table of the Gryffindors, people started to tell her to calm down. Even Parvati had looked uncomfortable with the behaviour of her friend. Finally, Lavender had calmed down and the discussion had gone somewhere else. Susan already knew most of that. It was either said by Ron Weasley on a very offended tone in the Great Hall, or Harry told her about it while they walked in the gardens. Still, she didn't feel great while listening to people talking about this relationship that had been over for several months.
Eventually, the discussion within the Hufflepuffs turned to other events and activities that took place during the ball. About a dozen people tripped together when one person made a false movement on the dancing floor, causing them to fall like dominoes, Wayne and Megan happening to be among them. The fireworks on the Quidditch pitch. The gardens outside the castle. How many people were found in the bushes. Snape scaring Sally-Anne when he surprised her searching a bush to get a particular flower. Hannah mentioning that she managed to only have her feet crushed by Neville once while she danced with him. Ron and Hermione's argument, which Ernie heard. How Cedric, the champion of their house, danced well.
Susan didn't take part to most of these discussions. She made a comment there and there, but she did not contribute much. The topics of conversation didn't interest her much, and her mind was elsewhere. After a while, the group started to split, and Susan decided to go to the library. They were in the middle of the afternoon.
"Today? But this is Boxing Day." Hannah pointed out, obviously against the idea that her best friend would go there on that day.
"It's no longer Christmas. It is over," Susan said.
"Okay, if you want," Hannah conceded, giving up. "But don't forget to join us for dinner."
"How could I forget that?"
Susan went to the dormitory to gather her stuff to do more homework. However, when she came back to the common room to head out, she was intercepted by Justin who stepped in front of her, blocking her path.
"Justin, I've got to go," she said.
"If you wanted to go with Harry from the beginning, why didn't you just tell me when I invited you?" he asked out of nowhere.
Susan sighed. "Justin, I told you. It wasn't planned. That decision was taken a few days before the ball, and way after you asked me."
"So, you didn't want to go to the ball with me, but with Harry, it was okay?"
"It's not like that, Justin."
"Then how is it? Because you told me that you wouldn't go to the ball with anybody. Because you couldn't dance. Because you were not interested in dancing. Because the ball didn't really interest you at all. But then, you show up with Harry, and you dance perfectly well."
"I told you. McGonagall showed us how to dance."
"So, you were ready to learn for Harry, but not for me?" He looked angrier by the minute, and Susan was beginning to feel impatient.
"What's gotten into you, Justin? I was just trying to help him. He needed a dancing partner to open the ball. We were only a few days from it, and he still had no one. So I offered to go with him, just so he wouldn't be alone for the first dance." Again, she was telling the pure truth.
"Well, if you didn't want to dance in the first place, you should have left him alone."
"I just wanted to help him."
Justin snorted. "Help him? As if the great Harry Potter needed help!"
Susan didn't like the way he talked about it. "Well, he does. Should I remind you that he participates in a competition that could get him killed?"
"You're joking? He got through that dragon easily. He was the fastest of them all."
"But he was injured. And Cedric was almost burned down."
"Yes, Cedric was. Not Harry. I don't understand why you defend him."
"Because…" Her anger was really starting to grow. "Because you were all on him after the choosing of the champions."
"He stole his place from Cedric."
"He didn't! He never wanted to participate to this Tournament."
"Oh yeah? Then why did he put his name in the Goblet of Fire?"
"He didn't."
"Then how did his name get out?"
"Someone else must have put his name in. There's no way he could have gotten through the Age Line. Summers tried, and he was only a few days from his seventeenth anniversary. And yet he failed."
"That wouldn't be the first time Harry manages to get somewhere that's supposed to be inaccessible."
"Justin, listen to yourself. I was just trying to help a friend."
"A friend?" Something lurched in her stomach as she feared what Justin might imply with that. "Well, your friend stole his place in the Tournament to Cedric."
"Justin, come on. We're over it!"
"No, we're not. And we shouldn't be. Harry shouldn't have been opening the ball yesterday. He shouldn't be part of the Tournament in the first place."
"No, I agree. He shouldn't. But he is, and there is no way to make him leave it, and he risks his life in each task of this stupid Tournament. And unlike Cedric, he didn't choose to participate to the Triwizard Tournament."
"That's what he says? Well, he's a very good liar then."
"How can you say that? Do you remember when you believed he was planning to attack you and you were wrong?"
"That's different. Because this time, he's not a victim. He's the one who's benefitting from his name coming out of the goblet."
"He's not. His life is in danger every time he has to enter a task." She had the impression that she needed to repeat herself over and over, and yet Justin refused to believe it. "He's not to envy. He's been miserable the whole time before the first task."
"Well, it was well deserved, after he got himself into the Tournament."
Susan was boiling now. "Justin, do you know who you're reminding me of right now?"
"No."
"A Slytherin." It was as if she just slapped him over the face. "Yes. A Slytherin. You remember that badge you were wearing in November? The badge you're still keeping under your bed? The one you didn't burn like the others did? I know you still have it, Ernie told me. And all that behavior you had during the month of November, that behavior all our house had, it gave me the impression to have been transferred to Slytherin. You all behaved as if your so-called personal dignity and honor was wounded, and all that because someone else than Cedric was sent into a competition that could get him killed. So let me tell you. Your behavior is evil, and it's stupid. You are an idiot to think that Harry actually put his name into the Goblet of Fire, because you know him, and you know he would never do that. Now, step aside, and let me leave. I've got more important things to do than listen to you complaining about futilities for the entire day."
On that, she walked past him, not giving any attention to the rest of the common room around her, and she headed towards the library at a furious pace. What she said was really true. Susan had felt miserable during the month of November, between Halloween and the first task. The main reason was the general atmosphere of hostility in Hogwarts, and the attitude of her comrades and friends of her own house. It wasn't only the wearing of insulting badges, but their behavior in general. Their hostility towards the house of Gryffindor, only because one of them got chosen with Cedric to compete in the Triwizard Tournament, showed her own house to Susan under its worst day. She wasn't impressed by the behavior of the Gryffindors either. They taunted the Hufflepuffs and insulted them as well. But being a Hufflepuff, it was even worse for Susan to look at her own house drop so low in her esteem. The insults, the provocations, the intimidation, the mockeries, even the fights, all this got her depressed. The fact that some Ravenclaws were no better in how they behaved towards the Gryffindors didn't make her feel any better. She was ashamed, not only to be a Hufflepuff, but also to be a student of Hogwarts during this period. So much hate and fight over such a trivial matter, while four people, two of them who she knew quite well, could die. Susan couldn't believe things had degraded so much.
She also suffered personally from disapproval and insults during this period. Susan had friends both in Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, and she hadn't severed her links with any of them during the crisis. She continued to frequent both, and as a result, she became a minor target for low blows from both sides. Many Gryffindors viewed her as a common Hufflepuff who supported Cedric while denigrating Harry, when in fact she was among the few in Hufflepuff to believe him. As for the Hufflepuffs, many of them disapproved her refusal to wear the badge, and her resistance to the common pressure to wear it only made things worse. She also took Harry's defense at time, and for some, she was almost a traitor as a result, strengthened by the fact she kept spending time with both Harry and Hermione, even trying to help them. She had written to her aunt to know whether there was a solution to remove Harry from the competition, only to be answered that there was currently no way to remove a champion chosen by the Goblet of Fire from the Triwizard Tournament, due to the binding magical contract. She also conducted research with Hermione, trying to find out ways out of this mess, to no avail. All Susan wanted was for this situation to be over, for this enmity between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, and to a certain extent between Gryffindor and the rest of the school, but also between Hogwarts and the two other schools, to end. All that was for nothing. People needed to see Harry face a Hungarian Horntail, one of the most dangerous living dragons in the world, and almost get killed in the process, to realize that this Tournament was about way more than a bag full of Galleons and a cup. Despite this, there were still people who believed he entered the Tournament illegally of his own volition.
Susan literally had the impression to have been sorted in Slytherin rather than Hufflepuff during that period. Things were turning into a nightmare. She even ended into the infirmary because she found herself in the middle of one of those confrontations resulting from this crisis. She had written to her aunt at the time, asking her for advice, telling her how she felt that not only the House of Hufflepuff had lost its way and Susan no longer recognized herself in it, but how she also felt that her house had vanished to be replaced by another, which she despised with all her heart. Her aunt her given her a quite philosophical answer.
The House of Hufflepuff is more than a group of people or an emblem or a name. It is a set of values. As long as you keep those values in your heart and you strive to follow them, the house that you love, the one you joined, will continue to exist.
Susan agreed with the words, but they didn't prove any helpful in the short term. The situation had continued to deteriorate, despite the assurance in the same letter from her aunt that things would get better with time. She was right. The relationship between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor significantly improved after the first task, and Susan had the impression to find again the house she always loved. However, all of this was not entirely gone, as her argument with Justin just proved. There were still some people who viewed Harry as a cheater.
Once in the library, Susan opened her books and set up parchments, quill and ink to advance her homework in Arithmancy. However, she failed to make any progress over the two hours she spent in the library. Her mind kept wandering to other matters and worries. She kept mulling things over and over.
One of the things that came back to her mind while she sat alone in the library, trying in vain to focus on a homework she just couldn't get done, was the accident in Herbology, when Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs threw each other dangerous seeds Professor Sprout warned them about. All that because a Gryffindor made an unkind comment about Cedric, to which Justin reacted by throwing his seeds at them, which earned Susan to receive some as well. She was sent to the infirmary by Sprout, who ordered Harry to bring her and Dean there. On their way, Harry had apologized for what just happened.
"It's not your fault, Harry," she had said, feeling the burns on her face. Professor Sprout said they were not threatening on the short term, but she still wanted to reach the infirmary as quickly as possible.
"No, it's this stupid Justin Finch-Fletchley's fault," Dean Thomas declared.
"Your friend insulted Cedric right in front of him, Dean," Susan said nonetheless. "He shouldn't have done that."
"It was only a joke," he defended himself.
"Susan is right, Dean," Harry had said. "You shouldn't make jokes like that. Especially right now."
Harry had no idea how Susan felt grateful to him in that moment. She disapproved of Justin's actions, but she still believed that all this would not have happened if Dean and Seamus were not making fun of Cedric right in front of Hufflepuffs. They knew it could turn wrong. It was almost impossible not to turn wrong.
Susan had to admit that she was impressed by how Harry handled the whole situation during this period. Aside from his short duel with Malfoy in the dungeons, which earned Hermione a visit to the hospital wing, he didn't resort to violence at any time, despite the fact he was miserable. He once told her that he didn't entirely blame her house for the treatment they showed him. He even understood it to a certain extent. It didn't make what they did any good, but she was glad that Harry wouldn't consider her house as an enemy from now on. And for the duel with Malfoy, Susan could also understand his reaction to a certain extent. Malfoy purposefully provoked him, and in the worst possible ways. Susan usually considered it was better to ignore people provoking you, but as the girl who snapped at Fleur Delacour during the ball, even she recognized that sometimes, it was impossible to refrain yourself from striking back. Susan was also not prone on taking Malfoy's defense. He was the perfect example of the haughty, lazy, and cruel Slytherin who considered others below him only because of his ancestry. The fact that his father had been a Death Eater also made Susan despise him even further. Who knew? His father may well have been present during the attack that cost their lives to her grandparents, her uncle, her aunt, her cousins, and that almost got her mother killed while she was pregnant with Susan. Maybe he even cast some of the Killing Curses that ended the lives of her relatives before she even got the chance to know them.
When dinner time arrived, Susan left the library, having done nothing to advance her homework. She went to the Great Hall to join her friends. When she entered the place, she found Cedric and Cho, sitting at the extremity of their respective house's tables, regularly throwing gazes at each other. It was already common knowledge that these were dating. Even Susan's friends discussed it today. The Yule Ball had made it quite official. She followed the row separating the tables of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and arrived at their other extremity, near the staff table, where her friends had gathered. She took a place next to Hannah and went to take some roast beef.
"Justin didn't come down for dinner," Ernie said. Susan had the impression that his voice was at the same time apologizing and somehow blaming.
"Good," she said shortly.
She didn't speak again for the whole dinner. She found herself casting a few looks towards the Gryffindor table however, spotting Harry who sat in the middle. She drew a sharp breath every time she looked at him, but not once did he look at her. He didn't look in a good mood either.
Back in the common room at the end of the dinner, most of them went to sleep early. They were still exhausted from yesterday's ball. Susan didn't follow them immediately. Strangely enough, she wasn't feeling drowsy. She remained behind as the others left one by one, until only she and Hannah remained. As soon as Ernie was gone, Hannah talked to her.
"Susan, I just want you to know, Justin feels terrible right now."
"Good. He should," she said. Maybe that would get him to think about his unfair and childish behavior.
"Susan… He wasn't really thinking everything he said."
"Well, he gave a good impression of it."
"He's just… jealous."
"Jealous?" She was flabbergasted.
"Yes, he is. Look, Susan. You know he is in love with you." Susan sighed while rolling her eyes again. That wasn't the first time Hannah told her this. Yes, Susan noticed that Justin was a little closer to her this year, but the truth was that Susan never considered him as more than a friend. She thought it would eventually go away. "And you refused," Hannah added.
"Because I didn't want to go with anybody. I wasn't even sure that I would go to the ball at all back then," Susan explained.
"I know. I know that, Susan. You explained it to me yesterday." It was during the short time she talked with Hannah during the ball, after she and Harry came back from the gardens for the first time. Hannah had bombarded her with questions, and Susan explained to her how she ended up coming with Harry finally. "I know you never wanted to hurt Justin. I know you just didn't want to go to the ball when he asked you, and that it has nothing to do with him. But you told him back then that you weren't coming to the ball with anybody because you didn't know how to dance. And then all of a sudden, you show up with Harry, and you dance with him. And quite well, on top of that?"
Susan was about to protest, but Hannah cut her short.
"I know. McGonagall taught you how to do it. And I know you only did this to help a friend. I'm not stupid. I know there's nothing between you and Harry." She felt a wave of relief going through her mind at this moment. But something else protested inside of her. "Really, I was sure he would show up to the Yule Ball with Hermione. Seeing her with Krum… It was the most unexpected thing I ever saw." Hearing Hannah speak like that caused something to further stir inside of Susan. "But Justin is not seeing this. What he sees is that the girl he loves turned him down by giving certain reasons, and these seem all false. And the fact you spent a lot of time with Harry this evening only made it worse in his eyes."
"I just wanted to be alone, Hannah. I wasn't very interested in this ball, you know," Susan explained on a tone she tried to not make too defensive. "Harry wasn't either. So yes, I spent time with him because I wasn't interested in dancing, and I knew you all would only do that the whole night."
"I get it. But… I think you should have told us that you were going with Harry before the ball. You could have explained things to Justin, and he would have understood."
"I told you, Hannah. I didn't want everyone to fall on me and ask me questions about it. Or to have people staring at me every time I walked into the corridors or a classroom. You know I don't like to have everyone's attention on me. You remember the first times after we joined the choir? I was trying to position myself in the last line to be less visible to the others when we performed, even if I was among the smaller members."
"Yes, but you could have told us and asked us to say nothing. Or you could have told Justin only, to explain things."
"Justin wasn't the only boy who invited me," Susan reminded Hannah. Indeed, a student in the fifth year also invited her, and Susan refused for the same reasons. "And I don't see this boy lashing on me about that."
"Yes, but… Justin is in love with you. So… He's angry, frustrated… And he complains about everything because of that. He doesn't really think what he's saying. He only says those things to… get something out of his system. Look, perhaps you could simply explain to him that you were just trying to help another friend. Like that, he wouldn't feel like you rejected him."
Susan sighed in exasperation. "Look, Hannah. I already told him why I went with Harry to that ball. It's the truth, and I'm not going to repeat it. I'm sorry for Justin, but to me he is only a friend. And the sooner he will realize that, the better it will be. I'm not going to explain myself for every decision I take in my life just so Justin can feel better. If he doesn't want to behave like an adult, that's his problem, not mine."
"Okay," Hannah said, resigned and disappointed. "I only… wished we could make him feel better."
"There's nothing I can do for him, Hannah. If he can't handle seeing me at a ball with another friend…" She gulped and waited to gather her thoughts. "Look. I appreciate Justin, he's been our friend to both of us for very long, but I didn't like his behavior today. And if he really has feelings for me like you seem to think, then I'm not the one who can help him feel better. I'm afraid he's after the wrong girl."
Hannah nodded. "Well… I think this ball hasn't gone the way I hoped it would at all." She yawned. "I think I'll go to bed me too. Have a good night."
It was strange that Susan didn't feel very tired, considering she woke up earlier than the others and even went to bed later than they did, even if it was less than a half-hour later. In fact, she felt very awake. She felt as if… It was hard to explain. She herself didn't understand well what was happening.
She was alone now. There weren't that many people in the common room. She picked the book she was reading this morning in her bag and tried to read it, though she had the impression the words were leaving her mind as quickly as they entered it.
The conversation she just had with Hannah kept running in her head. She told the truth, and only the truth. She didn't say no to Justin because she didn't want to go to the ball with him. In fact, if Susan had wanted to participate to these festivities in the traditional way, if she had wanted to actually dance at the event, she would have accepted when Justin asked her. Or maybe not. She might have refused, knowing she might get his hopes high for nothing. But Susan had never loved that kind of event. The truth was that she was used to more private festivities. Holidays were always celebrated in the privacy in her family. Apparently, they once used to join larger gatherings, before her birth, when her grandparents and her uncle Edgar were still alive. This stopped after their deaths. Her parents didn't tell her much about this, but her aunt did. She and her parents didn't have the heart to participate in big events after that. Her aunt got married to her work at the Ministry of Magic, while her parents, who hid after her uncle's death, chose to continue to lead a rather private life, away from public events, once He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named disappeared.
Under group's pressure, and seeing all her friends, everyone she knew, going to that ball, Susan decided she would probably go to it in the end, but she also decided to not go with anybody. She didn't know how to dance, and she had no envy to dance either. It was why she refused Justin when he asked her. That was the only reason why.
She couldn't focus on the book and decided to go to bed in the end. There was nothing else she could do now at this late hour. Everyone already looked asleep. Before she went to bed, she decided to take a shower. As she scrubbed herself, something came back to her mind. Words that Hannah told her before she went to bed.
This ball hasn't gone the way I hoped it would at all.
Susan sighed. Indeed, Hannah was right. The Yule Ball had not gone the way she expected it would. It had not gone the way Susan expected either. She thought she would eat her dinner, join the first dance, then watch other people dance or walk around and talk with people who wanted to for the rest of the evening. She thought the evening would prove quite long. Instead, it proved very pleasant. With Harry.
Susan had tried to push these thoughts away during the day. She had accepted to go with Harry… No, she offered Harry to accompany him when he told her he had no one to partner for the ball. Susan did it to help him, to avoid him to appear alone for the opening dance, and also because she felt guilty for how people in her house treated him poorly for over a month. She saw it as a way to somehow apologize to him for all that. Then she had participated to the dance lessons with him that McGonagall gave them, learning slowly how to decently dance. This was a chore she accepted to fulfill, although she regretted more than once making the suggestion while following McGonagall's instructions. Though in the end, it paid off.
Susan got out of the shower and dressed for the night. She then brushed her hair slightly, not wanting to sleep with it being a complete mess, verifying the results in the glass above the sink.
Thanks to McGonagall's lesson, she and Harry managed to get through the first dance without any misstep. Somehow though, Susan ended up spending the entire evening with him, and not only the first dance. Susan had always liked him. Harry couldn't remember it, but they met when they were kids, once, at Godric's Hollow. Despite this, they almost never spoke during their first year at Hogwarts. She noticed him, of course. It was hard to ignore the presence of someone like Harry Potter, even if Susan didn't talk behind his back and stopped gazing at his scar after the first week, unlike so many people. It was only during their second year that Susan became some kind of a friend to Harry. She became very close with Hermione, his best friend, for who she was always a neighbor in class when Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs had common lessons. Then she tried to help them after Justin was Petrified and Harry was believed by everyone to be Slytherin's heir. Susan knew he wasn't. She was the one to find Justin in this state, and Harry only arrived after she found him. It was from this point that they became good friends. She wasn't as close to him as Hermione and Ron were, but they completed their homework together during summer, said hello to each other when their paths crossed in corridors, discussed a little from time to time. And Susan never thought of him as more than a friend.
Until yesterday.
She wasn't sure. She didn't even know how to explain it, but she enjoyed her time with him very much during the ball. He made it a time she loved instead of getting bored or feeling miserable. Susan never got romantic feelings towards Harry. Never. But yesterday… Something happened that she couldn't understand. Perhaps it was the way she surprised him looking at her while they contemplated the fireworks. For a moment, Susan had the impression that… But Harry then said he was curious about how her hair was holding, and she just explained. Still, she kept that feeling after that. She even started wondering what he thought of her attire. And then, she invited him to dance again. She didn't know why she asked him that. Maybe she just wanted to do it again for the sake of experiencing it. She had not disliked the opening dance like she thought she would. It had turned to be relatively pleasant in fact, her nervousness making her laugh when they tried to perform harder movements. And then… Without knowing why, while they danced, Susan got the strange impression that nothing else mattered. And she couldn't take her eyes out of his for the entire duration of the dance. They had spent the rest of the ball sitting together, without saying a word, and somehow their hands had joined. Then the ball was over. Susan had wanted to wish him a good night, and she did when she saw Ron coming to head back to the Gryffindor Tower with Harry, and when Cedric asked to talk to Harry alone. Then she left for her common room.
She wasn't sure what was going on with her. She dreamed of him during the night. And ever since she woke up, although she tried, she couldn't get him out of her mind. Her heart was beating faster when she heard someone talk about him. She shivered at the thought of him from time to time. She was feeling things she thought that she had never felt before, and she struggled to understand them.
She sighed. What was going on with her? She placed her hands on the sink and leaned her forehead against the glass. She felt stupid. Not only for what she felt right now and that she struggled to understand, but also for what she did last night.
She didn't know why she did it exactly. After saying goodnight to Harry, she proceeded to go back to the Hufflepuff common room, but she changed her mind halfway. She had a feeling that she couldn't end this night like this, that she couldn't simply wish Harry good night and go. She arrived in the Entrance Hall, almost empty by this time, but she spotted Cedric who was wishing a good night to Cho Chang. Without hesitation, she broke up their intimate farewells and asked Cedric where Harry had gone. He indicated that Harry left by the stairs. Susan guessed that he left for the Gryffindor Tower and headed there. She never went into the Gryffindor common room, of course, but she knew where it was. She accompanied Hermione back to this place on a few occasions. Maybe chance had been on her side that night, or maybe not, for she had found Harry alone in a deserted corridor, and she called after him.
Harry had stopped immediately. Susan wasn't sure what she wanted to do, but the conversation had gone in a direction she wished she didn't take.
"Can I ask you something?" she had asked him.
"Of course," he replied, looking uncertain.
"You said you owed me for coming to the ball with you."
"Yes," he confirmed.
"Then… Can you do me a favor?" She had then hesitated for a while and said something she regretted very much. "Would you kiss me?"
If Harry looked uncertain before, he now looked more confused than if Susan had changed into a Hungarian Horntail in front of him. So she explained herself very quickly.
"It's just… I've never kissed a boy… And we really spent a good night… So…" And then, she must have realized what she actually said. "Forgive me. It was stupid. Have a good night."
And then she walked away so fast that she almost had the impression of running. Why did she ask him that? Didn't she only want to wish him a good night in a better way? Why did she have to ask him that of all things?
A day later, Susan felt just as stupid as she felt the previous evening. She had the impression that she ruined what was finally a very good Christmas evening at the last minute. She also had the feeling that she ruined something else.
Susan took a deep breath. She realized that she was shaking. She somehow calmed herself, and went to bed, hoping to have a good, long night of sleep. For now, she realized that she was exhausted. She fell asleep the moment she lied down.
Now, you know what happened at the very end of the previous chapter.
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Next chapter: Harry