Hakan was not abandoned, no. A search party had been arranged by Lucifina to find him.
Because, even if Hakan had attacked, and hit her, she still loved him like her son. His father, Caliean was helpless when it came to housework, without his wife to look after their son; maybe that's why he left Hakan to Lucifina's care, spending most of his time outside the village working. Caliean had made sure to give a good amount of money to Lucifina for Hakan's care. She had been like a mother to him, but with his father still alive, and with her being married to Marcellus it would confuse him to lie about that, so Hakan was informed of his real mother as he grew up.
Even as a baby he was an unusual one, he never walked until Lucifina got worried, then he simply ran before he ever walked, as if mocking her worries without meaning to, running up to hug her. For newlyweds like Marcellus and Lucifina, Hakan was a godsend. A quiet and good boy that would prepare them for the parenthood of their own child if they ever decided on having one.
With how cute he was and how fulfilling it felt looking after an affectionate bundle of joy, soon after, Marcellus and Lucifina had their own son, Luka. Hakan and Luka grew up as brothers, playing together all the time.
For Lucifina, Hakan was her dear son along with Luka, and it would take a lot more than an outburst of rage to change that, if ever.
However, when she finally found him she was shocked along with the rest of the search party.
'Hakan may not be sane', is the thought that was shared among the search party when they found him in the middle of the forest, covered in slime and blood, playing with corpses of monster girls surrounding him.
Their once attractive faces were now either shapeless goo or made into a paste, with Hakan painting, no baptizing himself with their blood in total delight. Nobody could understand him, except for the one leading the search party, Lucifina. Funny, Hakan was not her real son, and yet he was showing the same signs, the same insanity, the same lust for blood. Hakan was wearing the face of a killer, an insane killer; one that Lucifina may as well have worn as a Seraphim. They had no blood relation, and yet he was taking the same path she did. Oh, the irony.
Lucifina's heart sank at the sight. She didn't want Hakan to follow in her steps, making the same mistakes. It was her responsibility to save him from this insanity, not just as a mother, but also as someone who reached the ends of this path, having slaughtered many to reach an empty void. She regretted many things, many people whose lives were taken by her. She was going to carry the weight of her sins for the rest of her life, she never would wish the same for her children. Not for Hakan, and not for Luka.
However, even that thought process was pushed away for later at the immense sense of relief of having finally found him.
"Hakan!" she shouted his name, but the words did not reach his ears. Again, "Hakan!" she repeated, this time running towards him. Only when he was embraced by her did Hakan recognize Lucifina's presence. He faced the woman with tearful eyes, hugging him and calling his name. She did not have any bruises, she was as beautiful as ever.
"Hakan… I was so worried. I am glad you are okay. I am so glad," she managed to say with constant sniffs, crying from both happiness and sadness.
Hakan's mind was in turmoil, he was brought back to reality, with the woman he loved so close to him. He was also under the influence of Cupid's arrow.
He felt guilty, he felt in love, he felt relief, he felt angry, he felt anguish, he just felt a lot of things. He didn't have any inhibitions anymore and he wanted to do what he knew was wrong.
"Kya!" She let out in confusion when he embraced her and they fell on the grass, with Hakan on top. He protected the back of her head with his hand, and for a minute they both froze.
He was there, naked, exposed, dirty, looking down upon her beautiful moist blue eyes staring back at him in confusion. She stopped crying, and understood what the look on her dear son's face meant; desire. Pure, unadulterated desire.
"Hakan..? What's-" she was cut off by Hakan kissing her; a deep kiss where their tongues and they both felt a part of themselves die inside. A relationship that couldn't come to be, one that would break their bond. Hakan hated himself for doing something so wrong, and yet he enjoyed the kiss, her heavenly lips immensely. Lucifina felt guilty, for betraying Marcellus by letting herself get kissed. She tried to push him away in panic. A single tear fell from Hakan's eye and he got off of her. That was enough for him to let go of his first crush. Concluding it with an unspoken confession, done with action.
The others in the search party, the villagers, were also shocked. Everything in the scene was just so shocking, Hakan's state, his actions, the corpses on the ground. They didn't know which one they should react to first. They could only whisper among themselves. Then Hakan started to walk away, to leave them behind.
Lucifina panicked, she immediately shouted his name, she had just found him and he was going to disappear again.
"No! Where do you think you are going!" she got off the ground and immediately ran after him. This time she was going to catch him, she wouldn't forgive herself otherwise. She immediately caught up with his walking speed and hugged him from behind, stopping him in his tracks.
"Stop… please, just stop. Why do you always keep it bottled inside you? Why don't you share your burden with me? Please… let us help you! Aren't we family?" She was torn apart inside, how could she let her son walk the path of an insane Seraph?
"…" Hakan stayed quiet. He had to face his turmoil. He wanted to do many things. He wanted to hold Lucifina, he loved her; however, he also hated her. He wanted to leave as much as he wanted to stay. He had planned on returning to the village, yet, he hadn't taken meeting with Lucifina into account. He already ruined it completely. Having no inhibitions in his actions, he kissed the woman who was a mother to him. Was he ashamed of himself? No, that was not it. He simply did not know what he wanted. Did he want to live true to his desires or his principles? He knew he wanted to kill monster girls, was that simply what he wanted to do or just the right thing to do? Maybe it was both, but which one did he act upon?
"Please, please talk to me. Please, let's return to the inn. Look, all of us have been searching for you. Don't worry us any longer, okay?"
"…Forget about me, just look after Luka." Hakan finally answered her.
"You are my son too! I have looked after you since-" She began to answer but she was cut off as Hakan pried her hands off of him and faced her:
"I am not your son! I don't have a family! My Family is already gone. Killed by monsters! I hate monsters! I hate you for not hating monsters! I hate myself for loving you! I hate Uncle Marcellus for having you! I love you and you are trying to ignore it! I kissed you!" He exploded at her before getting slapped by Lucifina.
Lucifina's slap echoed through the quiet forest, a sharp crack that momentarily silenced the emotional turmoil between them. Hakan's face stung from the impact, but his expression remained defiant, a mixture of anger, confusion, and a lingering sense of pain.
"Stop being so selfish! Do you have any idea how I felt when you disappeared?" She shook his shoulders as she poured her heart out to him.
"Like it or not, you are my son; nothing can change that and I am not going to abandon you. We can speak about your problems at home, okay? You are just a child, so please, don't abandon your mother." Tears welled in Lucifina's eyes as she held onto the fragile bond between them, refusing to let it shatter in the darkness of Hakan's internal struggle
Lucifina cried even more intensely as she continued to hold Hakan's shoulders, her voice breaking with a mix of frustration and maternal love.
"You may think you're not my son, but I have loved you as my own since the day your father entrusted you to me. I can't just abandon you, Hakan. You're not alone, and I won't let you face the darkness by yourself."
Hakan, still wrestling with his internal conflicts, faced Lucifina, not avoiding her gaze. The tension hung thick in the air, the unspoken words echoing through the forest like a haunting melody. He did not expect to have the same familial bond with her again.
"Let's go home, Hakan," Lucifina desperately begged in a whisper, her voice softer now, carrying both the weight of a mother's concern and the resilience of unconditional love. "We can figure this out together. You don't have to carry the burden alone. Okay?"
With a heavy sigh, Hakan nodded reluctantly. He never intended to live in the forest, only to kill the monsters in it; and he needed to return home anyway. Lucifina wiped away her tears, took off her coat, and covered whatever she could of his exposed skin. She took his hand, leading him back through the dense foliage toward the village they once called home.
"Hakan-" a villager began with an aggressive tone but she cut him off:
"Don't. I am just happy I found my son. Thank you, everyone, for coming, but please don't meddle with our familial problems." She said staring right into the villager's eyes threateningly. She was not going to let anyone make Hakan run away again. She wouldn't take that risk.
The journey back was relatively quiet, besides the whispering among the villagers, trying to make sense of what they witnessed. They were lucky, despite their focus on having a conversation in a forest where monsters may roam, their numbers were enough to scare off the weak monsters attracted to Hakan's scent before they had even shown themselves.
When they passed by the village's entrance, everyone turned their attention to them. Lucifina waved them off and hurried Hakan inside.
That day, the village's priest Joachim broke into tears of happiness after hearing about Hakan being found in the middle of monster corpses. The signs were there, nobody had saved the boy earlier, it was all his work! Blessed be him! They finally had a worthy youth who may be able to serve the Goddess, if guided properly.
Joachim was ashamed of his and his kind's shortcomings, humanity was never able to thank the Goddess for all she had done for them. If anything, they had insulted her with their insolence. Sinners, ignoring Her holy words; "how disgusting it is to bite the hand that feeds you!" is what he always thought about sinners. Mankind owed their existence, and their relatively peaceful lives to Ilias, and they would never be able to pay this debt back. Hakan, however, might grow up to be a second Hero Heinrich. Nay! He might even be greater, for who else but Hakan could slay monsters this early in their lives?
He offered a prayer in gratitude, for being born at just the right time to (potentially) see humanity finally proving itself worthy of being called Her children. He then promptly started writing a letter to his colleagues in San Ilia. They needed to be informed of an upcoming champion. Hakan could be better nourished there as well, better than a backwater village at least.
Luka was outside, playing with a wooden sword. Playing, because training is too much of a serious word for what he was doing, he fell back on his ass trying to balance himself after making too wide of a swing with it. When he saw his mother, along with Hakan whom he hadn't seen for a few days, he rushed to their side.
"Mom! Hakan! Where have you been?" Luka asked them. They both had been absent for a few days. His mother had told him he was going to look for Hakan so he should be looking after himself until then, which he did.
Lucifina hugged her dear son, asking him if he was alright, if he properly fed himself, etc… When she finally let go, Luka could comment on Hakan's state, which he thought was weird, for Hakan did not seem to mind it in the least. He was practically naked, and yet he was brazenly walking around.
"Hakan, where were you? Mom went looking for you. Why are you naked?" Luka asked him, trying to avert his gaze from wandering to places. However, Hakan did not humor him with an answer, much to Lucifina's dismay. Sure, Hakan was relatively quiet, however he would at least give short answers. The boy had changed greatly in a matter of days.
Hakan simply passed by him, not even caring if Luka was on his way, shoulder-checking him as he went towards the inn.
Luka was confused, he did not know what was up with Hakan. He had been increasingly distant since the funeral in the village. Luka couldn't think it was about that, Hakan had never visited his father's grave after all.
Luka gave his mother a confused look, who just sighed and asked him to give them some time.
"Luka, be a dear and wait for us. I need to take care of Hakan, he may be hurt or injured,"
She stroked Luka's hair with affection, however, her voice was also more distant than usual. Lucifina simply did not know what to do, or how to keep her family in one piece, with Hakan being part of it. Marcellus was away, trying to make amends by saving monsters.
In a way, Lucifina was similar to her husband. She did not know how each life was precious, taking too many to count for no reason but her cruelty and Ilias's orders. Monsters, humans, and even fellow angels; none dared to approach her. It was only her sister Micaela, and their "mother" Ilias. Years spent away from heaven had humbled her, after sealing her angelic powers. She came to know people more personally. She had come to learn that each had a right to live. She also could compare her experiences with monsters, realizing they were not that different from humans either; only bearing stronger urges to deal with.
The burden of having taken so many of those precious lives weighed heavily on her shoulders. She wanted to live in peace, her husband wanted to make amends. Both were understandable. She had two children to look after anyway, and she was going to give it her best to raise them, and she was never going to give up on that.
Lucifina immediately followed after Hakan and took his hand. It only elicited a look from him when she dragged Hakan to the bath. She started to undress after locking the door; she could use a bath as well, having spent so much time in the forest.
It was not unusual for Hakan to bathe with Lucifina, however, he did not want to face her impeccable beauty in its naked form. His body had already reacted to it and he knew what it meant, instinctively. He was not going to do something like that with someone not accepting him.
The bath was eventless, Hakan had no more interest in doing anything further with his mother, and Lucifina was not blaming him for the kiss. After washing the monster bits away from his body, she found the arrowhead of Cupid's arrow, which would be invisible to humans, dissolving on his back as its holy energy was running out, while she was checking for injuries and wounds. She cursed the angel for complicating her relationship with her son, but at least that explained his actions. A mother and son could not cross that line, she would not have to worry about it after the spell is gone. If anything, Hakan had incredulous self-control for not trying to do much more. She sighed in relief as she continued to bathe him. "Everything is going to be alright," she deceived herself.
Hakan was ravenous when they sat for food. He never had much of an appetite before. Yes, he was famished, but it was still too much when he devoured a week's portion of food in mere minutes. His companions watched in astonishment as he shoveled food into his mouth with an almost frenzied intensity. Gulping down water between mouthfuls, Hakan hardly paused to take a breath. Lucifina kept filling his plate as Luka stared at the incredulous scene with his jaw dropped. He was nothing like how he remembered Hakan.
Hakan of course did not even notice his gaze. He was only interested in filling his seemingly bottomless stomach with this newfound appetite. By the time they finished, he had eaten an entire roasted lamb, and a lot more. Luka thanked Ilias; Lucifina hummed along, and Hakan just seemed sleepy. He took the plates and started washing them, more out of habit, and it was the least he could do. Hakan still had a sense of pride, even if he was not ashamed of showing his body, he would not accept appearing ungrateful.
Lucifina hugged him from behind, and kissed his hair before saying "Welcome back". Yes, she was hopeful; everything was going to be alright.
Luka had to ask him, how could he not? His brother was away for days, and he was dying to know about it. He entered Hakan's room, only to be disappointed by the sight of him sleeping. Luka did not disturb his sleep and left the room. Funny enough, this was another turning point in their lives; for Hakan was not alone in his dreams...