Winter's Refuge

Chapter One Hundred Twelve

HEYES

It took two more days to get everything ready to go. And I was a terror to be with during those times. I had no patience. I needed to get on the road…on the road back to my family. Me and Angie at first poured over the railroad schedules, thinking I might go on ahead. But it was out of the way and would only take off three days at the most. And I'm worried about Angie and Sam traveling in the wagon with only Winny for protection. So, I pushed everyone to move faster. Dismantling Winny's shop took the longest. He had to decide what was vital and what could be replaced. To him, at first, everything needed to go. But we only had one wagon as large as it was. In the end we compromised and shipped a box of his tools to the Phoenix.

Sam was another problem, but not the kind I had anticipated. The sheriff said he was free to go. And he had found another passion besides Kid Curry, the law. He clung onto the two law books that had been gifted to him as if they were precious gold. Along the way I kept reminding him that the Kid Curry we would find at the ranch had been sick…probably still was so he wouldn't be expecting him to act like the hero in his dime novels.

I sent a telegram just as we left Pembina. It said simply, "On my way."

Winny was excellent at handling the wagon and Sam learned quickly. In the afternoons, I scouted ahead on Fall's Bells for a hotel or a couple of nights to find a safe place to sleep under the stars. And everyday I pushed for extra miles to get home quicker. And no one ever complained about it. This was a new experience for Sam, although Angie confessed to me that she had traveled once with James Doubleday and the Curt West gang. She hated everything about it. They had slept outside and she waited on all of them.

But then she smiled at me. "This feels very different. That time I was expected to do everything from gathering the wood to starting and tending the fire all night. I would find wild herbs and onions. James, or one of his friends, would catch something for dinner, but I skinned it, prepared it, and cooked it. And I cleaned up while the men sat around the fire, told stories, and drank. Then James had his way with me and would turn away and fall asleep. And it started all over the next morning. I rebelled and took the train home alone after a few days. James didn't care. Said he could find prettier warm bodies to share his bed anytime." Her feelings were in her voice, anger and humiliation.

"Good thing I did. The gang robbed a bank the next day. Two were killed and James ended up in prison. Where…" she hesitated.

"Where I killed him," I said softly.

She hugged me tightly. "In self-defense. James Doubleday was scum, charming but scum. He killed two inmates before you. His killings were arranged you know…and paid for. They weren't random. You were just next on the list."

Her words shocked me. But they made sense and explained some rumors I'd heard in prison. But then I'd been too far into my own dark mind to be able to process them. I'll think about all this later.

"Angie, sweetie, we can figure it out and always stay in hotels if you want." I took her in my arms and held her tight.

"No, I think doing this with all of you is all I need to purge that memory."

We took turns and everybody worked. Sam was proud of himself as he brought an armful of wood for the fire. "Sir, tonight will you tell us more stories about Kid Curry? You really know this Sletten that writes them books?"

JED 'KID' CURRY

Chrissy was gone from our bed when I woke up again, but I saw her in the chair rockin' Ruth Ann. Sittin' up, I moved my legs to dangle from the side of the bed…and was tired already. But I can't be tired. There are things I need to do includin' practicin' my shootin' and startin' on that pile of work in the back room of the smithy. Chrissy didn't seem to notice when I stood up and looked around for my pants. They were folded, with a clean blue shirt, on the top of our dresser…at least seven steps away. "You can do this," I told myself. I took two steps and grabbed onto the foot of the bed and rested. I tried to will away the weakness, but it wasn't workin'. But I can't spend any more time in bed, so I walked the final steps until I leaned against the dresser out of breath.

I realized Chrissy was 'thinkin' while cooin' to the baby. I doubt she knew I had moved. I have to take care of her, make her feel safe. I need to be up to do that. I threw my pants and shirts onto the bed and found my belt in the top drawer. My feet were cold, but I had no strength to put on socks and boots. I put on the shirt while sittin' on the bed. I leaned forward to lift my feet into my pants and fell forward into the floor. Weak and tired, I considered just stayin' there for a while until I heard a familiar voice.

"Jed Curry, just what do you think you are doing?" Aiden was mad; his scoldin' words sounded sharp. Yet his hands were gentle as he helped me up and pulled my pants off the one foot that I had managed to get into the leg.

"Got work to do," I told him. My voice sounded muffled and far away.

"Jed, bad. Jed up. Jed need sleep." Chrissy became aware of what I had done. I felt her soft hands unbutton my shirt.

"You are to stay in that bed until I tell you can get up." Aiden said sternly. "Do you understand?"

I struggled to sit back up.

"Lay down!"

"Not now. Need the chamber pot."

ASJ*****ASJ

When I woke again, I heard Aiden and Chrissy whisperin'. That was a good thing, Chrissy talkin' to Aiden. "Knight leavin' tonight. Wants to say goodbye to Jed."

Aiden answered her with, "Now Chrissy darling, I don't think that's..."

"No your Chrissy darling. Jed's Chrissy darling. Doctor have Denise darling."

"So I do," Aiden said with a laugh. "I think she'd like that. But I don't think Mr. Knight needs to say goodbye to..."

"I'll talk to him," I broke in, pullin' myself to a sittin' position in the bed. Both Aiden and Chrissy turned to look at me. I had no idea how long I'd slept. I had vague memories of bein' fed stew and usin' the chamber pot, but time escaped me.

"You sure you're up to it, Jed?"

"I'm sure."

In less than ten minutes, Mr. Knight strode through my bedroom door. "Mr. Curry, I wanted to apologize for bringing the grippe to your home. It was never my intention. I know you had to reimburse that foreman that took his mares away in a snit. I'd like to repay you for that."

"That's not necessary, William."

"Of course, it is. I want to make sure I'm welcome back to this family next year. I consider this a second family."

"Glad you feel that way."

He left some money on the dresser. "I feel so guilty about making your household ill. It always feels so warm and welcoming here. That's rare in my life. I'm too busy cooking to start a family."

I fought off the feelin' of sleep. I would not let myself be so weak. "You'll be welcome here again, William. Please let us know if your mares are indeed pregnant."

HEYES

I know I was a slave driver on our trip. We left just after dawn each morning and with three wagon drivers we were able to go until sundown…and sometimes longer. I refused to let the darkness overwhelm me. I had my little family to guide and protect. The closer we got to home, the harder I pushed. Although I sent a couple of telegrams, letting Phoenix know about our progress, they had no way of reaching me. That left me imagining the worst. Juan's telegram had said everyone was recovering, but that meant they were not recovered. They could relapse. Or never fully recover.

At night I shared these fears with Angie as we lay in bed. When I could, I got Winny and Sam their own hotel room. My new wife and I were still learning about each other and needed some privacy. She listened each night as I paced and went on about the worst possible scenarios. Then she'd put her arms around me. Tell me I was doing everything possible to get to them as soon as I could and distract me with her nearness.

ASJ*****ASJ

When we were four days away, Winny and Angie suggested that I ride on home by myself. The road they were on was well traveled with small towns and hotels dotted along the way. I didn't want to leave but Angie insisted, and Sam clinched it by saying, "Kid Curry needs you. You're Hannibal Heyes. Who else can he count on to come?"

JED 'KID' CURRY

Each night I did as Aiden ordered and took the medicine. He was pleased it made me sleep. I didn't tell him about the nightmares that came with it. At least twice each night I returned to the blacksmith shop in the middle of the Arizona desert feelin' the shackles on my ankles. Each time I stood straight and tried to contain the pain of the whip on my back. Each night I gathered my strength and helped lay the track for their precious railroad and in each nightmare I watched men die under that burnin' sun. When Chrissy laid beside me, the dreams changed. I needed to protect her, protect my family. Sometimes I tried to protect my long dead family. Always I knew I was failin' and I would lose them. Some nights the night terrors were of the mercantile fire, carryin' Juan with Jeff leanin' on me. But in those dreams, I can't find the exit.

I'm relieved when mornin' comes, but still tired.

ASJ*****ASJ

It's been four days since I opened my eyes from the grippe and pneumonia. The last two days, I've willed myself to get out of bed just after Chrissy leaves. Forcin' my legs to move forward, I wait in the hall for Martha to get dressed and head downstairs. Her joyful hugs and chatterin' are my best medicine.

Michael is recoverin' faster than I am, but he still gets tired easily so no school for him. When Martha runs down to the kitchen, I go in and sit with him. He climbs on my lap and reads to me, and we talk about whatever comes to his mind…how long until summer when he can go swimmin'? Am I as tired as he is? When can he go back to school? Will I whittle him a new horse; Henry pulled the leg off his? Chrissy finds us both asleep, together in the chair, and when we wake up there's a quilt tucked around us. I hate bein' sick, but this time with my son is so precious.

HEYES

Winny and Angie continued to assure me that they'd manage the last stretch home without me. He even produced a holster and Colt from his pack, strapped it on, and proceeded to shoot a prairie chicken for our lunch with one shot. I was convinced. Early the next morning, Fall's Bells and I left the family to sleep later in the hotel while I left at dawn. We made good progress and a couple of times I let my horse run as fast as she wanted. There's something about the smell of morning, just as the sun starts to rise and anything and everything seems possible. I savor it more because I never thought I would see it again. Never thought I'd see anything but the inside of the prison's dark cell. I was sure I'd die in there. A few times I'd convinced myself I was already dead.

But today I'm free and reining in my horse from her joyous run to stop for water. "Heyes, someone up there must like you," I told myself. I was reunited with the Kid, we had a thriving horse ranch…and I was married to a wonderful woman who knew my past and my failings and loved me anyway.

Back on the road my thoughts morphed from those I was leaving behind to what laid ahead. I'd never gotten word that the Kid had improved. What if he didn't. Juan's telegram said everyone was recovering. Maybe that meant everyone but the Kid? What had happened at Phoenix? Chrissy had written that she and Martha had helped Ken with the horses. But that normally kept Juan, Arnie, and Glen busy, with needed help from me, the Kid and Ken. I didn't know what I was going to find at home. My thoughts were filled with everything that could have gone wrong there…including that last bounty hunter coming for the Kid. Feeling my anxiety, Fall's Bells went as fast as I asked her without complaint. We went until dark was beginning to fall before stopping for the night in a line cabin I found. It was old and if there was rain, I would have gotten wet. But it was a beautiful night; I was cold but lit a lamp inside and kept it on low all night. I didn't sleep deep but I slept, and we were off again at dawn. If we maintained the pace from yesterday, I'd be home before lunch tomorrow.

JED 'KID' CURRY

Today when Michael and I woke up from our morning nap, we were hungry. And I was determined to go downstairs and to the stable, even if I had to do it in stages. With the help of a cane and a firm grip on the banister, I started down the stairs, puttin' one foot, then both feet on each step before movin' on. My son sat on his bottom and bumped his way down. With six steps to go I stopped, dizzy, coughin' and gaspin'.

Chrissy appeared at the bottom of the staircase. "Jed should not be on stairs," she scolded. She walked over to Michael, who was sittin' on the last step. He reached up and she picked him up. At six years old I worried he was too heavy for her, but he clung to her neck, and she hugged him close.

"Mama, Pa said we could come downstairs and eat lunch at the kitchen table with everyone," he explained earnestly.

Smilin', she put him down. "Yes, go sit down. Auntie will be happy to see you there."

Her smile left when she looked back at me. "Jed not well enough to eat at table."

I felt like a seven-year-old boy bein' scolded by his ma, knowin' she was right. But I was determined to be a workin' part of this family again. I stepped quickly, and got dizzy. My legs started to wobble beneath me. Ignorin' the slight spin in my head, I took another uncertain step down holdin' the railin' one handed as tight as I could. "Need to stop bein' sick. Got work to do…"

Chrisy's arms opened to meet me, too, but not to hug me, to balance me. I grabbed onto her offered arm heavily. Still, I missed a step and went down, pullin' Chrissy on top of me. Huggin' her to me, I twisted so my body would cushion her fall. Somewhere on our way to the floor, the spinnin' behind my eyes became intense. I felt her hand try to move behind my head. Then the side of my head hit somethin'. Just before I lost consciousness, I dreamed I heard Heyes yell.

HEYES

"KID!" His head hit the stairs as he went down. Typical Kid, he was trying to protect Chrissy and didn't put his hands out to block his fall instead he used them to pull her on top if him. If I had been a minute earlier getting home, I could have reached them before they fell, stopping them both from getting hurt.

LOM

Feeling a rough shake of my shoulders, the barkeep's voice woke me up. "Sheriff, it's time to go home. We're closing."

I'd been leaning forward, sleeping on a back table at the saloon. Wobbly when I stood up, I stayed still until my legs felt steady enough to carry me. My head felt heavy and foggy. My vision was cloudy. But I'd heard what he said. "Yeah, thanks. That's where I'm going. I want to be home."

I missed the step from the sidewalk to the street and fell to my knees. "Ow!" I used my hands to help me stand up. I brushed the dirt from them as I found my front door. Wouldn't do to go into our house with road dirt on my hands. The door was unlocked, and I was content to be safe and warm at home here.

"Susan, I'm home," I called expectantly, but there was only silence. She must be in the back room. It's a big house. "Susan!" I called her again.

Miss Phyllis appeared. "Quiet! You'll wake Wayne," she said sharply.

And the loss of the light of my life came back to me. I sat in the chair by the fire. It was the same chair I sat in and tried to read while Susan was giving birth…while she was dying. I picked up the book and threw it into the dying fire. Susan was gone. This house wasn't home. I leaned my head back and let the tears flow down my cheek until a drunken sleep gave me dreams of my wife