Chapter VIII – Sanctuaries
Aeyrin let out a soft, regretful sigh as she stroked over Bishop's cheek.
He had been practically passed out ever since he stumbled into the temple. It was fortunate that the evening mass hadn't been in progress yet when he did and Vaselis managed to get him to the undercroft somewhat covertly. They were still mostly hiding what happened from Master Samus and anyone not connected to the dissidence. It was surprisingly easy, given how many members of the congregation were in on it, but it was still not a good idea to have Bishop or Master Therien healed at the infirmary with everyone else. Their wounds and overall state would certainly raise many questions.
Master Therien was up on his feet by now, even though he had still been ordered to take things easy before he would leave the temple. But he was more than willing to assist with Bishop's injuries.
Still, it was a lot. Bishop was in a bad state and, for the most part, they had no idea what exactly had been done to him. Master Therien spoke of poisons and strange spells, but without at least knowing specific issues and sensations from Bishop, they couldn't help as much as they would like to. Unfortunately, Bishop was partially delirious from the amount of potions he must have ingested to numb the pain, and he was also sleeping for the majority of the time he'd been back.
It was good to see him get some rest after the ordeal he must have been through. He barely managed to even reunite properly with Aeyrin. He more or less collapsed into her arms when Vaselis brought him to the undercroft. It was like all the strength had finally left him when he saw her – like he finally felt like he could let himself feel some relief and rest.
She was glad to be able to provide a sanctuary for him. And there were so many people that were willing to help. He was being taken care of well.
Why did she still feel so guilty then? She knew he would be safe, she knew that nothing would happen to him.
But even the first night was difficult. Yesterday was the first time ever she had to do it alone – to leave the city, find a secluded place in the woods, strip herself naked and chain herself like an animal. She chose a small cavern she knew about – she could always see it from the battlements and she often wondered what was inside. There was nothing inside – she learned that the first day she left the city for her new adventures. But it provided a good and safe shelter. And it would again tonight.
It was scary and lonely to go through this alone. But she managed. Even though she felt horrible, waking up alone, filthy and exhausted there, it was nothing compared to how she felt now.
How was it that she felt even more like a monster leaving Bishop here in capable hands than she did about her transformations? Or maybe it was both of those things combined.
"He'll be alright, you know that, right?" A gentle voice echoed behind her as a familiar touch squeezed her shoulder. Master Therien had been resting throughout the day, but once Bishop was brought in a few hours ago, he was in attention and always making sure that both he and Aeyrin were alright.
"I know. I still worry though," she sighed again.
"You always do," her mentor chuckled affectionately. "I think I have been sleeping more than I should have though, so Gavros, why don't you go take your rest?" He addressed the priest still looking over some of the magical burns on Bishop's chest. Gavros was the only one left in the undercroft, aside from the ghosts and Aeyrin. Not too many people should be there through the night not to raise suspicion in the other members of the congregation.
"Are you sure? You should rest through the night too," Aeyrin scowled at him promptly.
"I've been doing nothing but resting for the past two days. I need to not feel like an old man for at least a while," Master Therien smiled as he inclined his head again towards Gavros. The priest nodded in response too before he turned on his heel to get his own rest.
The undercroft was silent as the priest departed, but once the somberness felt too long, Master Therien interrupted it once more. He was ready to get to work and try to heal Bishop as best as anyone could right now.
"Now, you, my dear, need some sleep," he smirked at Aeyrin while he walked around the cot to actually examine his patient properly.
"I… I will. I just… need to…" she stammered nervously. If Master Therien went to sleep, she wouldn't have to explain. Tonight he wouldn't suspect her of doing something stupid and he wouldn't be so alert for her departures. But he was determined to take the night shift instead, so what was she supposed to say now? It was right about the time she needed to go.
"You're leaving again?" Predictably, Master Therien gaped at her in shock. "Aeyrin, where are you all night? You haven't gone anywhere the night I came back. Where are you going now?"
Alright, now he actually looked kind of angry. Or maybe just really worried. It was understandable. Where would she be going? She couldn't even imagine what Master Therien was thinking about this.
"You aren't trying to find him, are you?" He scowled at her promptly.
"Huh? Who?" Aeyrin looked at him in surprise. So he did have a theory. But she had no idea what he was referring to now.
"My dear, don't play coy," he sighed. "There are more important things for you to focus on then your vengeance now. I thought… I thought you were past this. I understand that he reopened many old wounds, but putting yourself in danger is not the answer."
Oh.
He thought that she was looking for Ri'zhassa.
That was… a good theory. Ri'zhassa did make her angrier than anyone, especially after what happened with Faldaen in Skyrim. And Master Therien knew about all of it from her letters. But honestly, throughout all this, the slums and Ri'zhassa were the last things she wanted to deal with.
Even when Bishop told her about their 'deal'. It was still hard to think about that, hard to process it. She had been so preoccupied with everything happening to Master Therien that she almost forgot that information. That was surprising. She wanted to end that man for so long, but now he felt… insignificant.
She knew that it would change soon, once she was sure that the people she loved were safe. But for now, Ri'zhassa and his schemes were the furthest things from her mind.
"I'm not looking for him," she shook her head briskly. "I promise, I'm not going into any danger. I just… I can't talk about this now." She hoped that he would understand, again. He always understood, didn't he? But she worried when the concerned frown never disappeared from his face as he spoke.
"Go then, if you really have to," his disappointed sigh made her stomach clench. "I'll keep Bishop safe through the night."
He was always kind, always understanding, but she knew that she was only making everything worse by worrying him so much. And she felt so awful for leaving Bishop in this state here, even if he was in trusted hands.
She had to make a lot of effort not to sound choked up before she spoke again.
"Thank you."
…
Bishop's head was spinning so much.
But the pain was a lot. It kept waking him up. And he heard a voice, but he had no idea what it said. Everything was confusing. Sometimes he felt something being poured into his mouth and it only made him more woozy and confused.
Maybe he was drunk. Was someone making him drunk? Why?
Well… he wouldn't complain about that. He just wanted the pain to stop.
"More," his voice croaked, unpleasantly raspy.
"No, no. Not yet. We can't overdo it," someone answered him. He didn't recognize the voice. "I'm sorry, I know it's unpleasant, but the antidotes are not harmful, we just have to try a lot of them. We have no idea where Carandil is and he's the only one who could tell us which are the right ones. So we have to just… test them out. But you'll be feeling better soon."
Bishop wasn't sure what that monologue was about. He couldn't concentrate on it much. He heard something about Carandil and antidotes. None of those words were bad, so he stayed kind of calm as he left his thoughts and the strange nonsensical images forming in his head drift.
What time was it? And why was he talking to some man? Where was Aeyrin? Wasn't she here, with him? He didn't want to be without her right now, even though he was barely conscious. She was supposed to be here, curled up to him and pressing herself against him. Or just somewhere near, stroking his hair or something. He felt like he needed that. He wasn't sure when exactly he got so needy, but in his state, he didn't really care much for introspection.
"Where's she?" He mumbled as coherently as he could. "Need my princess."
"She left," the voice answered him. "I'm sorry. I don't know where she went."
What? Now he wasn't that calm anymore. Where did she go? She wouldn't leave him. He was not able to think too much about where he was, who he was with, but he knew that whatever the circumstances, Aeyrin wouldn't leave him like this.
"No," he shook his head briskly on the pillow. At least it felt brisk. "She's not leavin' me."
"She'll be back in the morning, I'm sure of it. Just rest, young man," the comforting voice tried to reassure him, but it didn't help. Where was she? Why would she be gone right now?
"Imma go find…" he started to move. He felt himself start to move, but then there were hands on his shoulders, forcing him back, making him lie down.
"No. Rest. I promise you, she will be back when the sun is up. It will be only a couple of hours. She was back yesterday at that time too," the voice reassured him once more.
She would be back? Would she, really? But where did she go for the whole night? And what was it about yester-…
Oh! Wolfy. That made sense.
Fuck, he even missed that werewolf.
"Oh, it's that… time… thing," he mumbled, placated by the realization. He was starting to drift off again soon, but the voice didn't exactly let him.
"What 'time'? Where did she go?" There was concern in that voice. He deserved some reassurance too, Bishop thought.
"'S nothin'. She just bein' wolfy and shit," he tried to get the words out. He thought he had done a pretty good job of it, but then there was another concerned question.
"'Wolfy'?"
"Yeah. She's all fluffy," Bishop felt like he nodded his head, but he couldn't be sure.
"What?"
So many questions. Bishop didn't know how else to explain it. He just wanted to sleep. And he wanted Aeyrin there.
"Hm-hmm," he nodded again. "Just… tell'er to come here when she's back. I want'er here." He shifted on whatever it was he had been lying on and he patted the newly freed space next to him.
"I… I will. Of course." The voice answered again, but this time, it felt… distant, pensive. Lost in its thoughts.
Bishop was getting lost in his own thoughts. They were so random and confusing, but they were still kind of comforting as he felt sleep slowly claim him again.
And it was comforting to know that when he would wake up, he would have her there with him.
…
Morning came surprisingly swiftly.
Bishop kept waking up through the night, at first from the dizziness and the pain, but eventually, those eased off quite a bit. At some point, he began to feel a little better, a little more present. He didn't get those drinks anymore. What were those? Antidotes? Maybe they worked. He didn't feel that sick anymore. And a lot of those pains on his body eased off.
Sometimes he woke up to the warmth of healing magic. Proper healing magic. The kind that actually made him feel good.
And then, he finally woke up to a familiar form curled to his side, nuzzling against him affectionately. From there, the night, or the morning, went on pretty smoothly.
He did wake up later, surprisingly lucid. He could finally make more sense of where he was and what was happening around him. He knew he was on some cot, lying there on his side, dressed in some trousers and covered with a blanket up to the waist. Aeyrin was next to him, sleeping soundly and curled into his chest.
He recognized the temple undercroft, mostly because of the ghost hovering around in the distance and the urns and sarcophagi everywhere. He hadn't spent much time here before. Aeyrin had only shown him the place when she was saying hello to everyone, including the ghosts.
And after a moment, he also recognized the warm feeling on his back. There was a burn that had been still bothering him quite a lot, but now, it steadily got better as he felt the light seep into his skin. He looked over his shoulder tiredly, still blinking his eyes awake a bit more.
Therien looked much better than Bishop had remembered him. That was understandable, given the circumstances. But he looked so calm, even though he was technically on the lamb right now. He noticed Bishop watching him heal the wound on his back and he gave him a soft nod and a smile. He likely didn't want to wake Aeyrin by saying anything. He might not have known that nothing would wake her up when she was sleeping like this in Bishop's embrace.
Bishop leaned his head back on the pillow again as he let the man work. He could still feel a couple of wounds on him and he wondered why they took so long to heal. Aeyrin used to mention the amazing spells the priests here could cast and he had seen them in action before. Why did he still have so many injuries after the entire night?
He felt the man move to another spot on his back tentatively and then a warmth spread over his shoulder blade.
Oh. He was trying to cure that. It was probably hard to tell at first glance how fresh any of those wounds were.
"Don't bother," he mumbled under his breath. He wasn't even sure if the man had heard him, but the warmth stopped promptly. "It's… older."
"It looks quite… fresh," Therien scowled at him.
"Not that old. Just… old enough," Bishop sighed. Old enough not to be a scar, not a wound, unable to be healed. It really hadn't been that long since he had that 'Bandit scum' writing on his back branded onto him. He kinda resented the fact that Therien saw it, but then again, the man already knew what Bishop used to be. At least he was pretty sure of it.
And he really hoped that no one else had seen it. The whole fucking temple didn't need to know about this particular tidbit about him.
Fuck, he had to ask.
"Did anyone else see it?" He sighed. The Thalmor did. Had some questions about that. Not that he told them anything useful. And maybe Carandil managed to glimpse it, but Bishop was unsure about that. He got some ragged shirt from him at least, but he had no idea what happened after, when he was in the temple.
"No. Only me, Aeyrin and Gavros have been healing you. And you were lying on your back when Gavros was here, at least from what I know," Therien reassured him. Now at least his back was to the wall so if anyone came in, they wouldn't see it. Just the person healing him. "We have to do everything slowly. The poisons prevented our healing for the most part, but one of the antidotes I tried worked at last. Now, the antidote is working its way through your system and I can slowly start to take care of the wounds properly."
That sounded like a nasty fucking poison. Even nastier than what Thorn used to use on him. But at least things were getting better now. And the Thalmor were gone.
"You should have ran with me," Therien sighed after a while. "You could have been spared a lot of pain."
"They would have caught us," Bishop scowled. "There was no way to close that passage. They would have followed and brought us back both. It was pointless to try. This worked out."
"By a miracle," Therien replied with another sigh. "You should have never risked your life for me in the first place."
"That was not gonna happen," Bishop shook his head as he looked over his shoulder at the man again. "Besides, you act like you don't know her. She would have fucking stormed the place if she had no other options."
Therien's eyes went to the sleeping Bosmer for a while with palpable affection appearing on his face.
"Yes. I appreciate you all figuring out… a better way. It just pains me to see how much has been risked for me. And some of it I still don't know about," he shook his head.
Some of it Bishop had no idea about either yet. He had no idea what happened while he was being held in that place. But Aeyrin was alive and alright, doing the whole werewolf thing all on her own, apparently. It was encouraging to see.
"Regardless," Therien broke the brief silence after a while. "I am glad that I finally get to meet you, young man, even given the… circumstances."
"Likewise," Bishop smirked. Given the circumstances, he really did expect the meeting to go more poorly for him. All in all, three days of torture was not that bad of an outcome.
"Now, get yourself more rest. Believe me, you need a lot of it after that treatment. I did too," Therien nodded at him.
He was still kind of groggy. He must have been sleeping for ages already, but it still wasn't enough.
The ordeal took quite a lot from him.
…
The next wake up was much better than before.
For one, they actually both managed to wake up. Not at the same time, of course. Aeyrin caught up on her sleep from the restless beastly night and she just enjoyed being there in Bishop's embrace for a time. Her post-transformation stages were quite different without him. She didn't remember turning back into her human form, but a horrid cold woke her up soon. Even here down south, sleeping in a cave naked was not really warm. And when she unchained herself and dressed herself, each day she noticed that it was only maybe an hour past dawn when she emerged from her hiding place.
Usually Bishop warmed her up enough to let her sleep through the morning. But this way she was forced to return to the temple.
Not that she minded. She was happy to be woken up by the cold so that she could quickly return, wash up from the grime, and get back to Master Therien, and now Bishop too.
But as she woke up this time around noon, after some time enjoying Bishop's presence, she soon found the small cot to be quite uncomfortable and she started to squirm, trying to find a good position in the confined space.
That woke Bishop up soon enough as well. Even though he was still groggy and exhausted, it was a good idea to get something to drink and eat to get some energy in him.
And besides, he hasn't spoken to Aeyrin the entire time. At least not as far as he could recall.
Therien was still awake when they woke up, but he looked even more tired than Bishop felt. He clearly wasn't fully recovered yet either. Still, he was there, ready to promptly pour some water into some goblets and hand it to them. Bishop wasn't sure how long the man had been working on healing him, but he didn't feel any more wounds or burns on his back at least, just a few on his chest. The old man likely couldn't get to those when Bishop lay with Aeyrin like that.
"Morning," Aeyrin sat up on the bed with a wry smile as she took the goblet from him, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her other hand.
"Afternoon," Master Therien smirked at her. "It's good to see you both awake. I do have to say, this is definitely not how I was hoping for us to see each other again, my dear."
"Believe me, me neither," Aeyrin sighed in response. This has been… a lot to deal with. "But it wasn't your fault. You did what you had to to protect everyone. And I'm just glad you're alright. That you both are." She pressed herself a little into Bishop's chest as he had already sat up on the bed as well while Master Therien rested his weary legs on the chair nearby.
"That we can agree on," he smiled warmly.
"This is really not how I imagined introducing you two either," Aeyrin chuckled a bit. "But I guess that's not really necessary anymore." They've met plenty already, although in dire circumstances.
"Well, regardless, I haven't said so yet," Master Therien turned his attention to Bishop for a moment. "It is very good to finally meet you, young man. I have been hoping to see you both here for some time, though I didn't want to pull Aeyrin from the issues up north."
"Trust me, it was a relief to take a break from those," Aeyrin scoffed. "Not that there's not enough trouble waiting for us here…"
"Yes. I'm sorry about that again," he sighed. "But in any case, I am glad to see you both. And I'm looking forward to spending some time with you."
"Yeah, uhm, nice to meet you too," Bishop mumbled. He didn't know what else to say. It was kind of awkward, even though the man was being quite nice. Bishop still couldn't shake the feeling that this was going to be weird. That he must have had so many suspicions about Bishops, so many concerns about that 'bandit scum' sleeping with his daughter.
"See, he likes you," Aeyrin giggled teasingly and reached out to pat Bishop's cheek. She knew that would annoy him and make him uncomfortable, but she couldn't help it. He sounded so insecure. It was really adorable. She knew Master Therien didn't have an issue with Bishop. His letters spoke only kindly about everything – he knew that people made mistakes more than anyone and he was always willing to let Aeyrin make her own judgments when it came to the people she trusted.
Bishop predictably groaned in annoyance which only elicited another giggle from Aeyrin and a soft chuckle from Therien.
"I don't think he's convinced," the old man smirked. "Any reason, I shouldn't, young man?"
"Pfft, like there aren't plenty already," Bishop scoffed. He knew what Therien was privy to – all that shit in Falkreath, all that bandit stuff. How was any of it good?
"Only a rare person makes no mistakes," Therien nodded at him with a surprisingly kind smile. "And what is done between two people is up to them to resolve and judge for their own. All I need to know is that you make my dearest Aeyrin happy."
That was… surprising. Bishop couldn't help but smile at that. That was much better than he had expected. Not that he knew anything about how parental figures would react to someone like him, but stories like these were kind of common knowledge. There were villages full of people yelling at each other, parents chasing off men and women not good enough for their children. At least in his previous longer 'relationships', if he could even call them that, Ysolda's parents were dead and Neeshka… he didn't even know. She was more messed up than him. Bishop definitely never had to worry about what Aeyrin's blood-related father thought of him, that fucking pathetic wretch, but Therien he had been really worried about. He knew how much Aeyrin valued his opinions and guidance.
"Well… that's good, because there's something… uhm…" Aeyrin stammered a little uncertainly. She had been looking forward to sharing the news, but it did feel a little strange announcing it. Before, they were only ever found out by accident. She had been keeping this a secret for days now, even though she wanted people to know. But first, she wanted the most important person to know.
"Hmm?" Master Therien prompted her a bit when she was trying to get the words out. And Bishop couldn't help but brace himself now. Maybe now the man would have an issue. Like Lydia and Saadia did – there were some valid concerns to worry about.
"We're… going to get married," Aeyrin bit her lower lip to stave off the both excited and anxious grin as she raised her hand to present the engagement ring to the man to see.
Her old mentor stared at her hand in silence for a while and she felt Bishop tense up behind her. It must have been a little nerve-wracking for him, but she knew that look already. It was far from a bad reaction.
Master Therien rose from his seat and Aeyrin had to suppress a chuckle when she felt Bishop flinch like he was about to get punched. But instead, the man promptly wrapped his arms around her neck, and a moment later, she felt him pull Bishop into the embrace too.
"I am so happy for you, my dears," he sounded a little choked up.
Bishop felt a little uncomfortable with the… affection and acceptance. He wasn't sure why. He had expected none of this. He had experienced none of this from anyone like Therien. It was definitely uncharted territory. But… not that it wasn't a pleasant surprise.
No wonder Aeyrin loved this place and the old man so much. Fuck, if he had someone this supportive in his life in his youth, a lot of things might have gone differently. But little bandit shits didn't get saved like cute little beggar girls did.
But, there was no reason to get bitter about that. He could just enjoy that he didn't have to deal with family drama now and actually get some acceptance.
Master Therien eased up his embrace soon and sat back on the chair. He had a wistful smile on his face and his eyes seemed a little teary. It was touching to see him so happy.
"Hearing some good and uplifting news… it does wonders for the soul," he smiled at them widely.
"I… I know that it must be hard to think about… leaving. But… I'm glad you'll be close when we go back to Skyrim," Aeyrin reached out for her mentor's hand and squeezed it. "It's… it's home now. And I think that's where we'll…" she turned her head around to look at Bishop. They had never talked about this before – they made no actual plans for the wedding yet. But it would feel wrong for it to be anywhere else but Skyrim. They had a life there, friends, some so close they could as well be called family. Aeyrin would want some people from the temple to celebrate with her, but there weren't as many of her loved ones here as there were in Skyrim. Except for Master Therien. He was more important than any other quests. "I'm just glad you'll hopefully be able to be there."
Bishop didn't protest of course. He had nobody down south who he wanted around. And Skyrim was home for them. He never imagined marrying her anywhere else after all.
Master Therien squeezed her hand back with a gentle smile.
"I'm glad for that too, dear. I wouldn't miss it."
"Still, gotta be shitty to be leaving like this," Bishop pondered after a while of wistful silence. The man had said nothing about his imminent departure. He spent so much time here.
"It is… a painful thought. I spent most of my life caring for this place," Therien sighed. "But I go where I am needed and where I can help. Me staying here would put everyone in danger. And there, there I can offer my hand to more people that need it. People in dire perils."
"This place will be in good hands," Aeyrin smiled at him reassuringly. She was sorry that it ended this way, but she couldn't help but selfishly be happy about his move to Skyrim. "Master Samus and Master Selvia are kind and take care of the temple well."
"You are right, of course. And from what I hear, some sort of… covert access in between the Provinces won't be out of the realm of possibility?" He looked at her in askance.
"It's being worked on," Aeyrin nodded. "Gromm's Pass. There was a cave-in, but Brunwulf's workers and the worshippers are clearing it up."
"That is comforting. I would not wish to leave a trail for the Thalmor at the border. Nothing to get them any closer to finding out what's going on. But this… is very comforting. Thank you," he squeezed her hand again. "So, tell me when did you decide? You've said nothing in your letters, I assume this was after… Brunwulf told you not to write to me for a while?" He pried, but in between the words, a deep yawn escaped him involuntarily.
"Later. You need more rest. You've been up all night, haven't you?" Aeyrin gave him a sympathetic smile. "We'll have plenty of time to talk later again."
"Well… I suppose I am at the age when I'll be chastised and raised by my dear child in turn," he chuckled at her.
"Now that you mention it, I kinda expected…" Bishop murmured. The name was so elven, he really thought Therien would be centuries old.
"Ah, my name? I was named after my grandfather. An Altmer. My father inherited very few elven features and me… none, really. Just the name," Therien smiled a bit. "I am glad you found me in the prison regardless, young man."
"You were muttering some prayers I've heard before," Bishop smirked and meaningfully inclined his head towards Aeyrin.
"Ah, yes. Well, before I do as I'm told by the younger but wiser," the old man smirked at her too before he looked back at Bishop. "I am really very grateful to you. I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did for me and went through for me."
"It's fine," Bishop just waved his hand dismissively. What else was there to say?
"And you too, my dear, I suppose," Therien looked at Aeyrin once more. "For everything, even though I have no idea what you actually did." He scowled a little. No wonder he was still suspicious about Carandil's plan.
"'What you did'?" Bishop gave Aeyrin a startled look and the same concern appeared on his face. "What did you do? You did something?"
"Uhm… just… to get you out of there," Aeyrin stammered. She didn't want to talk about this. She didn't want Master Therien to know. And she didn't even want Bishop to know. She wished she could just forget that any of that ever happened.
"I thought Carandil did that," Bishop scowled. "He poisoned everyone at the outpost, right?"
Dammit, Bishop.
Master Therien promptly lowered his head. His scowl deepened and he twined his fingers together in a silent prayer. That just made her feel guilty. She had no reason to feel guilty!
"They tortured you!" She sneered. Those people were monsters! They deserved what they got. Unlike the poor man she had murdered. "They tortured innocent people!"
"I broke the law," Master Therien sighed, as if that made him any less innocent in this case, as if that made torture justified.
"An unfair and disgusting law!" Aeyrin snapped back at him. "And they had no evidence, no right to treat you like that!"
"Yes, they were ruthless people," Master Therien nodded somberly. "But, my dear, death is never to be taken lightly, even when it comes to 'bad people'. Even they should deserve our mercy."
"Yes, Master," she lowered her head. But no matter what he said, she was glad that they were free of these 'bad people'. She couldn't help but be grateful for that.
Bishop smirked at her obedient answer. It was so weird to see. Still funny.
"How did you do this, by the way?" He chuckled at Therien. "Is there a training tactic that makes her like this or something?"
"Hey!" Aeyrin promptly punched him in the chest, though she was careful to avoid any of his wounds. He made her sound like an animal!
"Don't be fooled, young man," Therien shook his head with an amused smile on his face. "She does that to make me stop lecturing her and she still proceeds to make her own judgments. And besides, somehow I am not convinced you'd like her as much if she was like that."
He did have the right of that. But still, Bishop couldn't help but think back on a few moments where he really wished above all else that she would just listen to him for a second instead of being stubborn.
"No, but sometimes it would come in handy," he scoffed. "Like when she tries to jump on a dragon or throw herself into a weird magical field that kills people." Those were always first on his mind when he thought about her insane stunts. Those and that fucking mess in Fort Fellhammer, but he wasn't going to mention that.
"You did what?!" Therien's eyes went wide in horror and he threw a sharp look at Aeyrin.
"Hey! Tattle-tale!" She punched Bishop's chest again, but she did squirm under Master Therien's gaze. "I'm starting to think I should have never introduced you two. I have a bad feeling about this all of the sudden," she grumbled.
"Too late," Bishop smirked. "And you're not distracting me from the point either. What did you do to get me out?" He scowled. She was clearly being evasive. He had no idea she had done anything about that – he just thought Carandil told everyone he would take care of shit and that he… took care of shit. Maybe she bought the poison or something?
"Uhm… I…" Aeyrin stammered a bit before she clamped up. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't say anything.
"Brunwulf refused to tell me because 'I wouldn't like it'," Master Therien scowled again.
"That doesn't sound good," Bishop's own frown deepened even further.
"You really don't need to know," Aeyrin growled. Please, let this go. Please, let this go.
"Oh well, I tried with Brunwulf too. I think we lost this one, young man," Therien smiled softly, even though the concern never left his face.
"I guess," Bishop nodded. But his words made Aeyrin shiver a bit. She knew him too well. He was only leaving things be in front of her old mentor. He would not let this go.
Then again, maybe she needed to tell him. Ever since they'd mentioned it, the guilt began to eat her up again.
"You did have a point, my dear. I am feeling a little… tired," Master Therien yawned again. "I was hoping to wait for… oh!"
The door to the undercroft opened suddenly, apparently with impeccable timing, as Luscia and Gavros came in with their hands full of smuggled food.
Bishop promptly positioned his bare back against the stone wall behind their cot. He still really hated the idea of anyone seeing the writing there. Funny, back in Falkreath, he couldn't care less about it. Now he realized how inconvenient the brand really was.
"Hello," Luscia grinned at the three of them. "You two have slept through breakfast. Glad to see you're at least up for lunch."
"Yes, I'm starving," Aeyrin groaned. Although at that moment, she really wanted Bishop's cooking instead, as unrealistic it was in his condition.
"Well, cavalry to the rescue, then," Gavros smirked as he moved towards a table in the middle of the hall. It had been clearly brought in, just like the cots, and it had plenty of potions and poultices on it, but there was some room there for food.
"How does this work anyway?" Bishop scowled a bit. "Nobody knows we're here?" It sounded strange. How did nobody notice three people hiding out in the undercroft? Especially while so many more kept coming in and out.
"It's pretty convenient to hide you here, actually," Luscia nodded. "A lot of us come here sometimes. We talk to the ghosts, sometimes tend to the sarcophagi and urns, clean stuff here. For the initiates, it's often a punishment duty. So… Iranafire misbehaved a little to be assigned here," she giggled. "The other initiates don't generally come here, and neither do the Masters. And Sevyen doesn't like this place. The rest of us… well, nobody would bat an eye at us coming here, even with food or drinks, just to pass time here and stuff. We told the others you are somewhere adventuring some days, so even if someone sees you around the temple, no harm done. They think you're coming in and out as you please anyway. The only one they can't see yet is Master Therien. He… he will return from his 'trip' after he is well. And then he'll have to leave again soon," she lowered her head regretfully.
"And I am being careful about being seen. After I recovered a little, I was set up in one of the side chambers, just to be safe," Master Therien inclined his head to one of the archways leading to a side chamber. It was entirely dark in there, but that was probably intentional.
"There's a lot of us in this together, so it's not hard to keep things running smoothly," Gavros nodded. We made sure that only we were in the temple and the rest were working in the infirmary when you were out rescuing the prisoners. We needed to make sure nobody would see Master Therien come here, in whatever state he was in, and be seen by the others. That worked out well. And then we tried to do the same when Aeyrin told us you should be back soon."
"Don't they hear us here or something?" Bishop still continued to scowl, but knowing that almost the majority of the temple was in on this did make things easier.
"Like I said, people come here often. Nothing odd about voices. And also there's the ghosts," Luscia smirked.
"Alright. So we can just… come out whenever, right?" Bishop asked again. He knew he wasn't up for it yet, but he didn't like the idea of being confined here.
"You two can," Gavros nodded. "Aeyrin already runs around here in the night," he chuckled. "That reminds me, you want me to bring his pack down here?"
"Whatever you want," Aeyrin shrugged. "Either that or I can do it later. He's not going anywhere yet," she looked over her shoulder to give a bit of a warning look to Bishop. "And he still needs some healing. I may have kind of… prevented some… when I was resting here."
"No problem. I'll come back after some time, after you've eaten, alright?" Gavros nodded at her.
"Thanks, Gavros. For everything. Thank you both," Aeyrin smiled at him warmly.
"Pfft, you're the ones who rushed to the rescue. We didn't even know what was going on," Luscia scoffed.
"What's important is that we're all alive. All's well that ends well," Gavros grinned.
"Y-yeah. Right," Aeyrin mumbled. Bishop noticed her lower her eyes regretfully and it only made him more curious about what she was hiding.
What the fuck happened while he was in that place?
He couldn't wait until they were finally alone and he could pry it out of her.
…
"You look tired," Aeyrin stroked over Bishop's cheek after a while of silence. "You should get more rest. I'm sure Gavros will be back soon to heal you again."
They've eaten the food, though it wasn't very filling, considering it was once more only bread, some butter and grapes. And right after some nourishment, Master Therien went to his side chamber to rest after the long night. Bishop would be taken care of by Gavros soon after all. Aeyrin would have dealt with his wounds herself, but those magical burns were still beyond her.
And apart from that, Bishop was still recovering from those poisons, just like Master Therien. He was weak and he needed lots of rest and recuperation.
It was for the best if he just went to sleep, on his back this time, and Gavros would be careful not to wake him when he worked. It was hard to wake him up with how exhausted he was anyway.
But apparently, Bishop had different plans.
"Not gonna happen, sweetheart," he scoffed, though his eyes looked a bit hazy and barely holding open, he still seemed determined to stay awake. He was still sitting on the cot and he pulled her closer to him, nestling her into his arms. At first, she actually worried that he was planning on getting frisky right there, with Master Therien so close, just an open archway away, but when Bishop leaned in towards her ear, she quickly understood that he was not whispering anything even remotely seductive into her ear.
Funny, as much as she wouldn't have been comfortable with that, she would have preferred it to what he actually asked.
"What happened? What did you have to do?"
She knew he was whispering so that nobody could overhear. He assumed that she didn't want Master Therien to know. He was right, but what he didn't think of was the fact that she really didn't want him to know either. For multiple reasons. There was the… cheating, sort of. And then there was the fact that it was painful to even think about what a despicable thing she had done to the poor man. She didn't feel ready to talk about it.
"Does it matter?" She sighed. "You're here. You're alright. That's all that matters to me." She had to tell herself that. Even if the man she killed didn't deserve it, Bishop's life was… more important. For her. Gods, that was so selfish. So disgusting. She couldn't help but shudder at the mere thought of that and it didn't escape Bishop's notice.
"Princess, what the fuck happened? You're not making me any calmer like this," he scowled. "Did you have to turn again or something? With that shit in Falkreath and now this…" It's been a lot, her always having to bail him out of prisons with something she despised doing. He didn't want that on his conscience. He didn't want her of all people to go through shit like that for him. He was fine when he thought this was all Carandil's doing, but her discomfort really worried him.
"No, I didn't have to. I… I mean I had to. The last two nights, of course. Which reminds me, tonight I will have to go out again. It's the last night and…" she started to ramble quickly. Funny, even concentrating on that monster was preferable to thinking about what she had done.
"Stop," Bishop interrupted her promptly. "Just tell me." Why wouldn't she? They always talked about messed up shit they've been through. It made things better.
Aeyrin stayed silent for a while. She really didn't want to, but there was no way she was going to think about anything else now anyway. And not telling him would eventually make her feel even guiltier.
Gods, she couldn't believe that she had been forced to do yet another vile thing like this in the city she loved so much. And now, she couldn't even rely on the old excuses she used to rely on with that awful fire – she wasn't a child and she knew all too well what she was doing. Just because she couldn't bear to stay around to watch the man die, doesn't mean she didn't kill him.
"Carandil… he wasn't going to do anything until he had… until he had a body to pose as his own," she started to explain with a quivering voice.
"Right. He mentioned that he was… dead," Bishop scoffed. That made sense. He needed to fake his own death. So he needed a body in his stead. "So you had to kill someone to get him an Altmer body?"
"Yes," she nodded slowly. "Not just a bandit or such. He had someone picked. Someone that would look like him, at least a little."
"Ah. Shit, princess, I'm sorry," Bishop sighed. It was clear now that she murdered an innocent person to get him out. In her shoes, he wouldn't even blink about shit like that, but he knew that it wasn't that easy for her. Why did she do it? Why didn't Brunwulf get one of his contacts or something? Like that mage guy? Or he could have done that himself. Fucker.
And screw Carandil for this too.
"Why did you do it? Why couldn't Free-Winter do it, or someone else?" Bishop growled.
"Uhm… they needed a… woman. To… lure him somewhere private where nobody would look. Like… his house," Aeyrin bit her lower lip nervously. There was no question in her mind about which she felt more guilty. The murder was despicable. But still, she really wasn't looking forward to Bishop's reaction to this.
"You… lured him to his house?" Bishop scowled. He was clearly starting to see where this was going. "You… what did you… did you do anything with him?"
"Not… not really," she shook her head briskly. "I couldn't have him think I didn't want to though. And I needed to feed him the same poison. There, in his house. So nobody saw. And… I didn't want to… do anything with him, but… I couldn't just... you know? I didn't even kiss him. But I couldn't exactly… tell him to stop touching me."
Bishop went eerily silent. She was even afraid to look directly at him, but she couldn't stand not looking either. His brows were creased deeply and he was looking dead ahead without acknowledging her. For a moment she worried that he was angry at her, but she kept reassuring herself that he still kept squeezing her in his embrace and idly running his hand over her flank.
"Fucking Void," he grumbled. "I fucking hate you having to do messed up shit just to constantly get me out of prisons. Next time just leave me in there, alright? I'll get out eventually," he sighed.
"No! Are you crazy?" She scoffed. "You were going to be executed in Falkreath! And you were probably going to be tortured to death here. How do you think you would have escaped? I don't care how many prisons you find yourself in, I'm always gonna get you out."
Bishop smiled at her weakly with palpable affection, but his brows were still creased deeply.
"Besides, don't act like you wouldn't do the same for me," she sighed. The difference was that he would probably not feel so conflicted about doing these things. He had much more experience with doing questionable things in the name of survival and protection of his loved ones.
"I would. You know I would," he sighed. He pressed her even closer, still with the same expression on his face. "I still fucking hate that you had to do this. Are you… are you alright? He didn't hurt you or anything, right? And you didn't let it… go too far?" He kind of hated himself for asking that. It was not like he would blame her if she did – none of it was her fault. But he kind of needed to know for his own peace of mind. Maybe he wouldn't feel that guilty if he knew that she didn't cross some line she never wanted to cross with him just for Bishop's sake.
"It was… just… unpleasant. The poisoning… that was the worst part though," she shook her head. Talking about this was a little… cathartic, but she still couldn't help the tears forming in her eyes. "I didn't let him… he just touched me a bit, not even… uhm… nothing too bad." It was bad enough, but it could have been much worse. She never intended for it to go any further, but she was so worried about messing up the plan.
Bishop squeezed her again and he planted a comforting kiss on the top of her head. He was glad that it didn't go too far, but still, even the idea of someone else touching her like that made his blood boil. That guy was fucking lucky that he was already dead.
Fuck, this shit got so messed up so quickly.
And before they found out what happened, this all just seemed like an uneventful visit to Aeyrin's former home.
"Bish, maybe you should really rest," Aeyrin touched his cheek softly again when she saw the permanent angry scowl on his face. This wasn't good for him. He needed to rest and relax.
"I'm fine," he growled, unable to hide the anger, but he quickly tried to give her a reassuring look instead. "If you need to talk, you know we can…"
"No, Bish, I really don't want to talk about it now," she interrupted him. "Please, just get some more rest. That's all I want. For you to be alright."
"Alright," he let out a resigned sigh. It was probably for the best. The exhaustion didn't make him much more able to hold his rage in. The worst part was that he was mostly angry at himself. He fucked up the timing enough that he didn't manage to escape. That's why she had to do any of this.
Fuck, that just pissed him off.
He just hoped he could calm down enough to get some sleep.
…
Bishop woke up groggily at the soft touch on his skin.
He had been waking up on and off throughout the day. Sometimes Aeyrin was there, sometimes she wasn't. Sometimes Gavros was healing him, sometimes Therien was giving him a drink of water or something to eat. But Bishop didn't have a very good idea what time it was or what was happening.
He was still so tired.
The undercroft was silent now though and most of the torches were snuffed out. It was probably night time. Good. Aeyrin didn't spend much of her time there in the cot with him. It was time to make up for that.
"Hmm, come here, sweetness," he moved on the cot to make more room for her.
"I can't, Bish," she whispered. "I just came to check on you. I have to go now, for… for the night."
Oh right. Fuck. He forgot.
Stupid full Secunda.
Well, he sure as fuck wasn't going to spend another night without her.
And besides, some privacy would do them good too.
"Right. Hang on. I'm coming," he started to shuffle on the bed.
"What? No! You're staying. And resting," Aeyrin pushed him down on the cot again, but once her hand left him, he started to get up once more.
"No. I'm coming. And don't even try, you're not convincing me," he mumbled, still a bit groggily. But he was determined. He would rest wherever they would stay. It would be fine. He just wanted to be near her. Maybe he was being a bit needy, but he didn't care. In his state, and after everything that had happened in the past few days, he couldn't help himself.
"Bish," Aeyrin sighed. But to be honest, she was always glad for his presence. Doing this alone was scary. Still, he needed rest. Such an awful patient. Why wouldn't he listen?
"Not. Convincing. Me," he repeated as he finally managed to sit up on the bed. "Just hand me my clothes." It was still a bit hard to see in this place, and he had no idea where his pack had been put.
"Fine," she nodded. It was too dark to see, fortunately, but his determination made her smile a bit.
She found his pack and fished out his clothes from it. There was still plenty of time, so she didn't mind waiting while Bishop slowly, and with some difficulty, finally got out of those ragged trousers he came in from the prison, and got himself into his regular clothes.
He did manage to knock over his goblet of water though, making it clatter unpleasantly on the ground, the sound echoing across the undercroft.
"Aeyrin? You're leaving again?" After a while, Master Therien's voice rang through the area. The noise must have woken him up.
"Y-yes," she nodded. Please, don't ask 'why' again.
"You… both are? Is that wise?" He asked with some concern.
"No. Not wise at all. But he insists," Aeyrin sighed. "But don't worry. It's really nothing to worry about. And… it's the last night, I promise."
"Is it?" Master Therien asked in surprise. He sounded like he was deep in thought.
"Yes. Please, go rest, Master. We'll be back in the morning. Or maybe around noon," she nodded. She would likely doze off for much longer with Bishop there.
"Alright, dear. Just… be safe."
'Safe'. That didn't really apply, no matter what. Not when it came to turning into that monster.
How was Bishop always so at ease with her transformations? She could not wrap her head around it.
But she did really want to wake up in his embrace again, no matter how frustrating he was with that.
It's been a rough couple of days.
She couldn't pass up the comfort.
…
"I told you this was a bad idea, how are you not passed out right now?" Aeyrin sighed in between her heavy, labored breaths.
Not that she could complain about the deed itself, but Bishop had barely enough energy to walk to that cave with her. And then he just kept talking her into it.
"I'm fine," he chuckled, a bit tiredly. "'Sides, you did most of the heavy lifting. Did you really expect me to pass up the chance for some actual privacy with you?"
'Heavy lifting'. Right. She may have been on top, but she doubted Bishop was even capable of just lying there without constantly moving against her or grabbing her by the hips and pulling her onto himself, or just teasing her in any other way he could think of. She definitely didn't mind one bit, but she was surprised how energetic he got, despite his prevalent condition.
They were overdue for some quality time together, sure. But she still worried about him. It wasn't a good idea for him to come with her. He was still so weak, still constantly tired, even though he continued to fight through it. And in an hour or so, she needed to be chained in this cave again. What if she got out this time? There was no way he could defend himself in this condition! He might even sleep through it.
Why was he being so stubborn about this?
But she knew why. She would be just as stubborn in his place. This was just upsetting though. She hated these nights more and more each time.
"Come 'ere," he murmured again, urging her to curl into his embrace instead of sitting next to him on the bedroll like she was.
"Bish, I'll have to do the chains soon," she sighed. She was kind of tempted to lie down with him and doze off too. She was worried about that happening.
"There's still time," he urged her again, giving her a heart-wrenchingly pleading look.
Dammit.
"Just for a moment then." She lowered herself onto the bedroll and nuzzled herself to him. She was not going to close her eyes though. That would end badly.
Bishop stayed silent for a while, contentedly resting with her in his arms again. At least Aeyrin had assumed that it was content half-slumber. But after several minutes of silence, she realized that his thoughts were anything but content.
"So… that guy. What did he do to you?" He couldn't help it. He knew it was shitty of him to keep being preoccupied with that. He knew that she was much more upset over the murder. But that was Carandil's choice. And he just could not stop imagining some other fucker touching his girl. It was on his mind constantly ever since she told him.
"Bish," Aeyrin groaned. She really didn't want to think about that man anymore.
"I know, I know, I just… fuck, just… tell me what happened. I'll leave it alone after, I promise," he sighed. Maybe it would put his mind more at ease if he knew that it wasn't as bad as he imagined it might have been.
"What, you want details?" She scoffed at him. That was really the last thing she wanted to discuss with him. But… then again, she couldn't help but think that if the roles were reversed, she wouldn't be able to stop imagining what he was doing with another woman.
"Uhm… kinda? Is it that bad? I just… I don't know, I can't get it out of my mind," he sighed.
"I… I get that," she nodded slowly. She did. As much as she hated the fact that she should talk about it again, she did get it. "I don't really think it was that… I don't know… I didn't want to do anything with him. But… I couldn't stop him from trying to touch me and stuff. He would just leave and I needed to come with him and poison him. They had no other plan and I don't ever know what to do in these situations. It's not like I have anyone who could help with this aside from Brunwulf here. I just wanted to get you out of there."
"I know, princess," Bishop sighed. She was clearly concentrated on justifying herself, even though he hardly needed her to. He understood and he wasn't angry at her. He was more just angry at the situation. That she had to do this for him. But there were other things that were still bothering him, still on his mind even after months. Now the thoughts and worries just came back.
"W-well… he didn't do anything when we were in the tavern. But he kept his hand around me when he led me to his place. And he kept kissing me, but I didn't want to kiss him, so I just… let him kiss my neck and stuff. That was pretty much all there was to it. When we were in his house, I poisoned his wine and tried to make him drink, but he spilled the goblet. And then he just kept kissing me and… groping me. And biting me… it kinda hurt, I guess. But he didn't even touch me… you know, there. I didn't even undress. And then he got kind of forward with the talk and I… shoved him off me. He hit his head."
"So… you didn't poison him? That's how he died?" Bishop scowled. It was an accident? That was good. And at least he didn't do that much with her – that was kind of a relief. Still, the thoughts still bothered him more than he would like.
"No… I… he got… weird again. Thought I was just being… I don't know… feisty? And… it gave me an idea. I kind of went with it and… tied him to the bed. Then I made him drink. And… I gagged him. And… left him there," she sighed, the guilt eating up at her again.
Bishop had the sudden urge to actually chuckle. Fuck, he knew it was distressing for her, but that was an impressive move. He kind of wished she would have done that in the first place though, so that the bastard wouldn't get to touch her more. But at least that was that. He definitely imagined worse things.
"Sorry you had to do that," he said. It was still shitty that she felt like she had to do something that made her so uneasy.
"It's not your fault. None of it is. You went in there… for me, kind of," she shook her head. He did it all for her – rescuing the man she loved so much.
"Chances are, I would have volunteered even if Therien wasn't captured there. You know I like this shit," Bishop chuckled. "Just… forget it, sweetness. Neither of us are at any fault. We just did what we could in a shitty situation."
"Yeah… I guess you're right," she snuggled closer to him. It didn't feel much better, but she still appreciated him saying that.
But Bishop still couldn't get those thoughts out of his head. Really, he had been regretting talking to Lydia and Saadia about the marriage plans more and more. They made him so fucking insecure. He couldn't stand it. He had to ask. He had to know.
"So… one more thing…" he sighed, resigned to ask the question he kind of dreaded asking. "Did you… like him? Liked… that?"
"What?! Bishop!" She sat up abruptly, tearing herself from his embrace, and she gave him an accusing look.
"I'm not saying I'd blame you. Fuck, it's… just… you know, normal," he shrugged. He still wanted her to reassure him that she didn't. But there was a whole can of worms there that they hadn't talked about yet.
"Why would you even ask that?" She huffed. She thought he was just being insecure, but saying that it would be 'normal' kind of made her feel bad. Was it not 'normal' to not enjoy that stuff with someone she felt nothing for?
Bishop sat up too, rubbing his tired eyes for a bit, but he could clearly see that she was getting upset and that made him more alert. Maybe he shouldn't have brought it up. Or maybe he should just… explain where he was coming from. That might be for the best.
"I'm sorry, I just… look, you remember, in Blackreach, after we got engaged?" He asked that like a question, but he predictably earned only a nod with a scoff. Of course she remembered, that was probably just him kind of stalling until he got to it. "You remember I told you that I talked to those two meddling harpies, that they kept asking me shit and I got… I don't know… unsure. Well… one of those things… they kinda pointed out that… I'm the only you've ever been with."
"So?" Aeyrin huffed. Was that not 'normal' either?
"Nothing, I just…" Fuck, she still looked upset. Was this stupid? He couldn't help but worry about that though. "Just that… I guess I kinda wondered if… at some point, you might feel like you want to… experience some more? I don't know."
"Why? Do you want to?" Aeyrin's eyes widened at him. She didn't understand why he was asking this. Was he suggesting that she should? Him? The man that got jealous at anyone in passing?
"No! We've talked about this already," Bishop scowled. "I've been there, I know that nothing could ever compare to being with you. You know that. But… you haven't been there. I just… guess I… I don't know," he stammered. He wasn't sure how to even say this. He worried about 'tying her to himself' for so long. He worried that she might regret it. He couldn't help it.
Maybe he was looking really pathetic, because Aeyrin's expression finally softened.
"Bish, I don't need anyone else. I don't want anyone else. I don't even think about anyone else like that, I promise," she shook her head at him and shuffled herself a little closer again. "I don't know why you're getting so insecure about this. You're so sure about not wanting anyone else, why can't you believe that I am too?"
"I don't know? No point of comparison?" He snorted.
"Well if that bothers you, I guess I got one that night. I really didn't like even a second of that, Bishop," she scowled again, reminded of the experience once more.
"Alright," he nodded. He did kind of need to hear that. Though that made him feel guilty – it only made it all shittier for her. "I really hate that you had to go through that."
"Me too. But it's done," she sighed. "He didn't deserve what I did to him… but I can't change that now."
"Nothing to do but move on, huh? Feels like we always have to," Bishop wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer.
"Yeah," she sighed. But with that, she was promptly reminded of yet another unpleasant thing she had to go through. Again. And there was no sight of moving on from this just yet. "I'll try. But now… I really need to get chained."
"Yeah, alright. It's time," Bishop nodded, though he felt kind of bitter about having to relinquish her from his arms again.
"Just promise me you'll be careful. Maybe put a trap in front of me or something," she looked critically at her intended spot, already with the chains and blanket ready.
"No need. I'm not risking you getting poisoned with that shit. Besides, how the fuck would I feed the antidote to a werewolf? That's not happening," Bishop scoffed. "I'll have my bow ready and I'll stay alert. Believe me, even if I fall asleep, every movement in those chains of yours will wake me."
That was a lie. He was so tired, he could sleep through anything.
But she didn't need to know that.
…
"Alright, my wolfy princess, here's the deal," Bishop smirked as he tossed the finished steak at the werewolf.
It's been such an established routine by now. Aeyrin would really hate how comfortable he was around her like this, but it was a good thing. He tossed her her necklace first thing after her transformation and then he got to cooking. A few slabs of meat for her.
She was quiet. Calm. She knew how this went by now too. It made him confident. He patted her head a few times and she only whimpered with the first one. She was fine the other times. Like she trusted herself more around him.
That made him only more confident. And he was determined to try the unthinkable tonight.
He wasn't going to, originally, but she looked so fucking fluffy and docile. And he wanted to push this further. It was making things better. It was helping her. He would not pass up his chance.
"So, you remember, don't you? The state I'm in? You know I'm weak and fucking exhausted. So, I need some sleep."
The werewolf watched him silently, tentatively. She made no move.
"First, I was just gonna ask you to sleep too. Like we did last time. That was alright, wasn't it? You were fine. You didn't try to hurt me or lash out. You can just relax too without worrying about me."
Again, silence. But he knew she understood him. Silence just meant that she agreed.
"And we both know that you would never hurt me, especially when I'm all helpless and shit," he smirked. "You want me to get better, don't you?"
She huffed. That was an even firmer agreement. Good.
"So, I'm kinda thinking this filthy cave is not really good for my sleep. And I was tortured and had to endure last night without you after. So I feel like you really shouldn't let that happen again."
She narrowed her eyes at him. She probably knew where he was going with this.
"Here's your second meat," he chuckled and tossed another slab at her. She promptly devoured it with gusto.
"And the third one, you'll get that one if you don't bite my head off. Literally, I mean. And after that, we'll go to sleep, sounds good?"
She stayed silent again. Then there was a fearful whimper. But she squirmed only a little when he took a step towards her. And another had her only flinch lightly. She was well within range to do something to him already, but she didn't. And the closer he got, it seemed like the more she was realizing that she really wouldn't. Just like when he petted her. Now she knew he wanted something more dangerous, but through the soft, barely-audible whimpers, she lowered herself a bit onto her ragged blanket, and propped herself up against the cavern wall. The chains rattled a bit, but she tried to stay still after. Either to reassure him, or to reassure herself.
"Good," he smiled as he finally approached her fully. "He handed her the last piece of meat, letting her practically eat it out of his palm. That was a good sign too. He still worried a little, but he was determined to go through with it. He knew that she would never hurt him, no matter the form.
"Now, let's get some sleep," he let out a tired sigh before he positioned himself on the blanket next to her. He felt her flinching constantly by his side, but he didn't stop. He moved into her, leaning his head on one of her arms, and then pressing himself closer. He was entirely in her embrace in a moment. He felt how tense she was, and she kept whimpering. But slowly, surely, that all seemed to ease with the passing moments.
Bishop held himself steady, fighting the urge to jolt away from her when the chains rattled and her arm moved under his head. He couldn't let her know that he was afraid, even if only a little. That would just rattle her, make her afraid too. No, he had to stay confident, reassuring her constantly of her own control over herself.
And much to his relief, instead of anything else, her arm wrapped around him tentatively, pulling him even closer.
That was really kind of pleasant. Her soft fur made for an excellent pillow. And he was so fucking proud of her self-control. And of himself for pulling this stunt.
Now he could get some rest along with some feeling of major accomplishment. Maybe this time she would even remember something. Maybe she would remember that she was no threat to him.
And to reassure her of that again, he relaxed completely in her fluffy arms, making himself comfortable and closing his eyes.
Fuck, how he needed this. They both did. She seemed so much more at ease.
And he hoped that would last through the night. He just had to make it clear to her that he was not afraid. He actually wasn't. Not even a little bit anymore.
A contented sigh escaped his lips and his words echoed through the silent cavern. The last words until dawn.
"Night, love."