Chapter XL – In Defeat
Usually after a rough night, things always seemed different in the morning.
As if one could look at everything in a new light.
Today didn't seem that different though. Not from where last night ended. There was still the same anticipation, nervousness, and uncertainty. They were still at the exact same place. Except now their secret act of defiance drew closer.
Very believable threats or not, Aeyrin and Azshan were not willing to let things go according to the conspirators' plans.
Even though they knew they lost the battle for now, there was strength and hope in knowledge.
And it was time the right people knew what was threatening them.
This all had to be done carefully though. A public exposure would not end well for anyone. So the plan for the night was simple – to call in those who needed to know what happened last night and hope for their ability to be subtle.
Azshan had left for the temple in the middle of the night. And today he was going to handle things with the Order. He didn't say what he was planning on doing after. Maybe he didn't know yet, but one thing was certain. He had decided to resign from his position due to his new impairment. And he was going to come back to the mansion tonight – he was the only one who didn't have to be secretive about it. He was still Aeyrin's friend in the public eye and those asshole conspirators said nothing about them having to keep away from one another.
Casavir also needed to know the latest developments. He would see for himself that Azshan was missing more than half of his arm and, as the official head of the Order's contingent in Skyrim, he would also need to approve Azshan's resignation. It was probably going to be fairly confusing for him. From what he knew now, Azshan would never be someone to give up his power and status willingly. Well… it wasn't very willing. But it was for the best, given the circumstances. And Casavir would find out about all of it soon. Bishop just needed to send Gulum for him one more time and have the paladin visit in the dark of night just like he had before.
The biggest obstacle was the last guest. Elisif. There was no way they were keeping her in the dark any longer. She was surrounded by vipers and all she could arm herself with was knowing that – knowing who to trust and who to watch out for. Casavir and Aeyrin refrained before from telling her to prevent her from taking drastic action. But the situation had changed considerably since then. Elisif was outnumbered in her own court. And she would have to see that drastic action would only make the conspirators take drastic countermeasures. Azshan was convinced that if they wanted, they could get rid of Elisif right away. The only thing stopping them was the public opinion. They feared how popular Elisif was with the people and they feared they would lose all manner of support should they get rid of her too fast. They planned to isolate her instead until they were the only ones she had around to trust. And then they would make sure her bad decisions would alienate her from her people.
Aeyrin wasn't sure what she found more despicable when it came to getting rid of a monarch. A murder, like Ulfric had done to Torygg, or this.
It would be harder to get Elisif to their house secretly. Or maybe not. Nobody was really sure. The High Queen was hardly ever seen anywhere without guards lately. Nobody had any idea if she could get away from them. But that was probably something they had to leave up to her. Bishop was merely going to talk to Gulum about their options to get a message to her covertly.
That was that. That was all they had. It wasn't much of a plan, but it was the only thing they could do – to make sure everyone who needed this information finally had it. Aeyrin was discouraged about keeping Elisif out of the conspiracies going on around her and others in power for ages. In a way, this was a relief.
A lot of what happened had been a relief. As ridiculous as it was with how things ended, especially for Azshan. She hated what they did to him. She still felt guilty about not being able to prevent it.
But she couldn't help but still feel relieved. Was it odd that she felt better after this than after that ball last time? Back then, they may have gotten rid of a disgusting man who abused people. But the night left a worse taste in her mouth than this one.
Because now she actually had her friend back.
How could she not be at least a little happy about that?
Though her happiness did make the guilt even worse. She was actually glad, despite the fact that the life Azshan had built in Solitude and in the Order was irreparably ruined.
It was a strange happiness in the midst of utter defeat.
And today still held some promise.
Aeyrin woke up in a pleasant warmth enveloping her from all sides. It was the soft sheet of the bed, the sunbeam seeping in through the eastern window, the thick blanket on top of her and the heat of Bishop's body behind her back.
"You up, princess?" He murmured into her ear when she stirred a bit. She didn't even answer yet but he promptly started to place lazy kisses at the side of her neck and to squeeze her closer. It seemed like he had been up for a while, just waiting for her to wake up. It must have been pretty late. They did go to sleep only after Azshan left. That must have been well into the morning hours.
"Hmm… yeah," she nodded while she nuzzled her head more into his face. That made him redouble his efforts and his teasing kisses on her neck got much more energetic.
"You feeling any better?" He had been asking a lot. Even when Azshan was here, he seemed much more concerned about her, even though she wasn't wounded at all. Azshan was missing his whole arm! Well, almost. And it was hardly the first time she was captured and tied up somewhere.
But it was still sweet. She really felt like she needed the attention just then. She was so preoccupied with worrying about Azshan and Elisif and Casavir, it was comforting to know she didn't have to worry about herself on top of it all. He was doing all that for her.
"Same, I guess," she let out a soft sigh. "I just wanna get today done, you know?" Maybe it was selfish to just pass the burden onto other people. But her further involvement would just cause a tragedy. And she couldn't deny that getting everything out in the open to the right people would be a considerable relief.
She and Azshan were out. That was a certainty. Azshan had to leave Solitude and Aeyrin would surely be carefully watched whenever she was here. And so would Bishop, likely. That was no way to operate. The only way to try and bring this conspiracy down, or remove their influence and ammunition, was in secret. That was the only thing that would prevent drastic actions.
"It's gonna be fine," he kissed her cheek briefly. "I know we're almost fucking broke, but I'll still pay Gulum extra not to half-ass his subtlety. And then we're getting the fuck out of here while we still have the citizenship and Tullius off our asses."
That didn't sound too bad. It was both frustrating to have to keep away and encouraging that she wouldn't have to worry about hers and Azshan's lives being ruined for sticking their noses further into the conspirators' business.
"Yeah," she gave him a soft smile and turned over in his embrace so that she could face him. Bishop instantly took the opportunity to capture her lips with his and she got only a second's respite before he deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around her tightly. Oddly enough, she didn't feel like it was going to lead to anything. They hadn't even had sex last night after all that drama. And now he just seemed more… affectionate. He would be insistently groping her by now if he intended to tempt her into something more.
It was for the best though. She still felt odd, especially lying in the bed that still had numerous bloodstains on it. She managed to stop the bleeding somewhat in that basement, but it was a missing arm! Of course it bled again after he moved a lot. Even with the circulation cut off as best as she could. And it especially bled when she removed the strip of cloth from it in order to help him. Azshan managed to take care of the worst of the burns and bleeding himself, but he only managed with a potion in him and he got exhausted soon. The arm still needed proper treatment and they both knew it.
So now Azshan was at the temple and they were left with a bloodied bed.
"I still can't believe he lost his arm," Aeyrin sighed, nuzzling herself into Bishop's chest and trying not to look at the bloodstains anymore.
"I still can't believe a fucking noblewoman managed to take it off," Bishop scoffed. It wasn't exactly easy to cut off someone's arm. Maybe the sword was really sharp and lithe that she could do that so easily. It made sense for something one could get at Bards College. Bards often preferred light weapons when they traveled, right? At least those Bishop had seen before. Or maybe that woman held more secrets than they thought. It must have still been shitty for Azshan. A day ago Bishop would hardly feel any sympathy whatsoever for him under any circumstances, but now he did sometimes think about how fucking shitty it must have been to lose an arm. "What do you think he'll do now?"
"I have no idea. He can't fight anymore. Not without some extensive training. He began with two-handed swords really early on in our training," she pondered.
"Please. Don't tell me he did this for the combat," Bishop scoffed. "Just because he could fight, doesn't mean that's something he's looking for. He told me himself – being a paladin was his way of being a noble without the family name."
"Hmm… I'm not sure he wants to do that anymore," she nodded thoughtfully. Maybe all that happened would sour him to these games.
Bishop only shrugged in response. It was possible. He wasn't sure if Azshan was gonna get back up on his feet after all this, but he kinda made his own bed. Bishop couldn't feel too bad for him. But… he did feel a little bad. That didn't mean he would forget all that shit that Azshan had done to him and Aeyrin.
He kissed Aeyrin's lips one more time when the conversation died down, then he proceeded to kiss her forehead, her cheek again, moving down to her neck. Last night was weird and worrying. He wanted to just enjoy being here with her again without having to deal with what waited for them outside this bedroom. Not yet.
Aeyrin giggled a bit at his enthusiasm and closed her eyes again. That only gave him the opportunity to tease her, planting kisses on random spots of her face or nibbling her earlobe to always catch her off guard. Eventually she opened her eyes once more with a brief chuckle.
"You're so fucking cute," Bishop grinned at her. "I love you so fucking much, sweetness." He leaned in for another kiss, though he could feel Aeyrin still smiling all through it. It was nice seeing that, even after the clusterfuck that was last night. He expected her to be handling this shit a lot worse. But maybe it helped that she was no longer on the opposing sides in this with Azshan.
"You're so doting today," she snickered softly. Not just today, last night too, even before Azshan left. It was nice though.
"'Doting'?" Bishop scowled promptly and Aeyrin chuckled again. She kinda knew that word wouldn't sit well with him, but it was more fun that way. Like calling him 'cute'.
"It's not a bad thing." She moved her hand to his cheek and stroked over it gently. "Or maybe that was a bad choice of word. Hmm… attentive. That's the one."
"Hmpf, I guess. Last night was weird," he grumbled. He didn't feel like he was doing anything out of the ordinary, but maybe he was getting a bit… clingy today. He got rattled last night by all of it. He knew there was important life-threatening shit going on, but the large part of his evening was really just dealing with Jordis and letting her make him insecure about Aeyrin and Azshan for no fucking reason at all.
Ugh. Jordis. Things would be so fucking awkward once he left the sanctuary of this room. He didn't wanna do that.
"I said it's not a bad thing," Aeyrin smiled again. His constant attentions were a really good distraction from everything. It was just too bad that they would have to start their day eventually. And probably soon. "I don't really wanna leave the bed but… we should… make some breakfast for Jordis too. And wash the sheets and stuff. And my clothes." Everything was still covered in blood.
Ugh. Bishop didn't want to deal with any of it. Even if it was just small stuff. He didn't want to deal with Jordis. He didn't tell Aeyrin yet. He wasn't sure if he should tell her at all. Certainly not now though – it was far from important in the sight of all the other shit going on.
"Not yet, love," he nuzzled his face into her hair comfortably. Jordis was still probably asleep anyway. And hungover. And he wasn't ready to leave the bedroom yet.
They really should enjoy being away from it all for as long as possible.
…
Bishop didn't even get too wasted last night. He didn't drink all that much.
Still, he felt even more exhausted and beat down than if he had.
The morning called for a heavy breakfast, possibly some roasted boar strips, and maybe some warm mead to go with it. That sounded pretty damn good just then.
He could just enjoy the tempting smell with his mead as he watched the strips of meat sizzle on the pan above the fire. Aeyrin was downstairs now, washing either herself or the sheets and blanket. And fortunately, Jordis was not here. Probably still sleeping.
He didn't get to enjoy the peace for too long though.
Soon, he heard voices from below, echoing through the staircase. He concentrated on the sounds, but he couldn't make out much. It was brief though. That was good. Probably only them saying 'hi'. He wasn't sure why he worried just now that Jordis would tell Aeyrin what happened. He wasn't the one who did anything wrong. And if Jordis wanted to come clean, that was on her.
Soon, footsteps echoed from the stairs and Jordis made her way to the kitchen area.
"Hey," she mumbled almost incoherently. She looked like anyone should after getting shitfaced. Her hair was a mess, her eye make-up was smudged and her clean shirt was on backwards.
"Hey," Bishop nodded.
"So… are you gonna be all weird around me now?" She continued. Fuck, he kinda hoped she forgot it entirely. But she hadn't been drunk yet when she started with that whole shit. Unfortunately.
"You're the one who made it weird," he growled. He would have been perfectly happy if she never tried anything with him. He couldn't imagine that things wouldn't be weird. He could try though. "Just… sit down, food will be ready soon. Let's try to forget that happened."
Jordis didn't look too excited. She didn't answer or nod or gesture in any way at all. But she did sit down by the table.
"You want me to warm you up some mead too?" He asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence. Maybe they could just push through by ignoring this.
"Fine," she nodded. She didn't seem as eager to alleviate the tension. She seemed pissed for some reason, but Bishop had no desire to delve into this any more than they already had.
"By the way, we'll need you to make yourself scarce tonight, if you can. Go to the Skeever or something," he broached the subject he actually wanted to talk to her about. Having everyone there was going to be too weird. Jordis needed to be gone.
"What? Are you seriously trying to get me out of here after last night?" She scoffed at him indignantly.
"That's not what this is about. We have someone over tonight and we need privacy," Bishop shook his head promptly.
"Pfft, what happened? Did you catch them together and now you're trying to salvage this by you all fucking each other?" She chuckled briefly. Alright, these biting comments were getting really fucking annoying when they were about him and his relationship.
"Stop that shit," he groaned. "It's definitely not that and you don't need to know what's going on. Just don't be here tonight."
"Fine, I can take a hint," she grumbled again.
Can you? Because you sure as fuck couldn't last night.
Oh well, at least she agreed to leave. He really didn't want to deal with this anymore. To deal with her.
Fortunately, soon, more footsteps approached and Aeyrin made her way into the kitchen as well, just as he handed Jordis her mead and turned back to the fire again.
"Hey, nursing the hangover?" Aeyrin smirked at Jordis as she sat down opposite her.
"Hm-hm," Jordis nodded. "So… where did you and your paladin disappear to last night?" She gave Aeyrin a challenging look. Bishop tried to suppress an angry growl. Fucking Jordis, what was she doing now? Why did she keep butting into this with her fucking assumptions?
"We overheard something about bandits close to the city," Aeyrin sighed. She needed to keep this narrative. For everyone's sake. "We got it in our heads that we should go take care of them before they hurt someone."
"Don't the guards do that?" Jordis gave her a weirdly knowing smirk.
"Anyone can do that if they want to," Aeyrin just shrugged. What was she supposed to say? "And Azshan complained he hadn't been in a fight for a long time." She wondered if she should mention his impairment that was supposedly the result of this fight, but she decided against it. Best to spread as little information as possible.
"Hmm… if you say so," Jordis shrugged. Aeyrin wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. Jordis was being strange. And she was being strange yesterday too when she insinuated Aeyrin would be offended by her dress. Aeyrin had no idea what all this was about.
But soon, she stopped thinking about it too much. Bishop might be able to talk to her better – get her to leave for tonight and maybe gouge what's bothering her too. And for right now, Aeyrin didn't have the energy to concern herself about anything but the plate of divine-smelling boar strips that Bishop placed in front of her.
All the problems could wait.
…
It was time.
It was dark out, the streets were almost empty since everyone was more likely to stay in after yesterday's wild night, and Gulum took care of delivering the messages. Very vague ones. And he was paid extra to really make sure nobody knew what he was doing and on whose behalf.
Jordis left, just like she promised, though it didn't go without some grumbling from her. Aeyrin mostly chuckled at the insinuation she was making about leaving because they planned some weird orgy or such, but Bishop looked angry all through that. She wasn't sure why. He usually laughed at this stuff too. Maybe he was just nervous about the get together tonight. She was nervous too.
And soon, there was a first knock on the door.
Aeyrin rushed over to open it, in case it was someone who wasn't supposed to be seen, but it was Azshan who was the first one to arrive.
"So… I did it. I resigned," he didn't even bother with 'hellos'. He just came inside with a forlorn expression and a deep sigh escaping his lips.
"I'm sorry, Azshan," Aeyrin gave him a sympathetic look as she closed the door behind him. That must have been hard.
"Yeah… well… what else is there, right?" He sighed. He looked down on his arm. Now it was hidden under a long sleeve of a fancy shirt, and that sleeve was merely tied into a knot right under the cut. "Casavir was so shocked. You should have seen it. Well… I guess he'll be even more shocked soon. But I think he thought that the resignation was some kind of a scheme on my part. I wish."
Aeyrin listened to him while she led him further in, into the kitchen, and urged him to sit by the table. Bishop was already sitting there with a bottle of mead in his hand.
"So… I guess I could get one now, right? Even in front of people," Azshan smirked as he nodded at the bottle.
"Really? I thought those fucking vows are for life or shit. Isn't that the whole 'doing it for yourself' bullshit rather than that your superiors are keeping you in check?" Bishop smirked at him.
"Not for me. For me, it was the latter. And I doubt that it was the drinks and the sex that made me into the asshole I am," he scoffed at himself.
"Self-awareness is a nice thing," Bishop chuckled a bit. He certainly wasn't gonna dispute that. He did reach back to the cupboard that had some more bottles on it and he handed one to Azshan.
"Look. We didn't talk about this last night, but for what little it's worth, I am sorry for framing you back then," Azshan looked back at him sincerely.
"It's not worth shit and I'm not gonna forgive you for that," Bishop scoffed. "And I'm not gonna forgive you for poisoning Aeyrin or for sicking that fucking creep Erikur on her for the sake of your bullshit either."
Azshan let out a small sigh, but he nodded in understanding.
"Doesn't mean what they did to you isn't shitty," Bishop continued. "And it doesn't mean you can't try to make up for all that now."
"I'll try," Azshan gave him a small determined smile. "I'll tell her… them everything, I already promised as much. It sucks that that's all I can do, but… well there's that."
"It's gonna help, Azshan," Aeyrin remained standing by the table, but she placed her hand on his shoulder briefly in support. "I really think it will."
"I hope you're right. Because if they find out, well… I'll be long gone from here. You won't," he scowled with palpable concern on his face.
"What's the plan exactly?" Bishop prodded. He was kinda curious about what the former paladin would do now.
"I don't… know yet. Not as such. Just… vague ideas. I can't be in Solitude anymore and… that was really the only place that felt right to me here. I can't go to places under Stormcloak control and build a life there. I'm too tied to the Empire to be safe there. I… kinda cultivated a public image here, that is one thing you can't erase. I'm a known… Imperial agent, if you want to say it that way. Even though I don't technically work for the Empire. And well… the other Imperial cities here… I guess I could stay in Markarth, but… apparently the Silver-Bloods kind of determine how any newcomers do in the city. Depending on how useful they find them. I don't think they'd find me very useful with my income gone and my fighting skills nonexistent without my arm."
"You could still go somewhere without shitty noble politics," Bishop smirked at him.
"And do what?" Azshan let out a brief self-disparaging chuckle. "No… I get it. It might be nice to get away from all that. But… I'm sorry, I can't imagine how exactly I would earn a living in these small backwater towns. I'm not handy and again, I'm missing an arm."
"You could go to Morthal and be their healer. They don't have a permanent one there," Aeyrin suggested. It sounded like a nice idea to her.
"The swamp?" Azshan cringed. "I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. The swamp that's currently threatened by the rebels, in no small part because of me and my actions? No… that's not a good idea. And… besides, I think I already decided. Or just… I'm playing with this idea."
"You gonna leave Skyrim?" Bishop asked. There really didn't seem to be much left here for him.
"Yeah. I think I'm actually gonna go home," Azshan nodded.
"As in…?" Aeyrin prodded. She knew the answer, she just still felt like she had to make sure.
"As in Chorrol. At least I wouldn't be starting all the way from scratch. And… maybe it would be nice to focus on a different training. I can still become a priest. And at least I'd help people after I hurt so many."
"That's a really nice idea, Azshan," she smiled. And she could visit him there down the line. Not as often as she could if he stayed in the Province, but… maybe it was for the best. They've been through so much bad stuff together, a little distance could mend their relationship even more. Maybe going back to writing each other letters would be nice for a while.
"Yeah. I thought so," he sighed wistfully. "So… do you think Master Therien will have me? That he won't chase me out of the chapel right at the doorstep? I don't wanna make it sound like I'm blaming you, I'm definitely not, but I'm pretty sure, since you knew what I did to you, you confided in him," he chuckled a bit.
"I… did," Aeyrin nodded slowly. The mention of Master Therien sent a sudden pang of pain through her. For so many reasons. "But he's no longer there. He's gonna be helping in rural areas for a long time."
"Ah. Well… I'm glad he won't throw me out," Azshan smirked. "Though… I don't know. I miss him. Maybe I should have listened to him more."
"Then you would know he is a big fan of mercy," Aeyrin smiled softly. "He wouldn't hold a grudge. And… well… uhm… maybe you could still see him…" she broached the subject carefully. Originally she wasn't going to do this, but it just felt right. If it weren't for this mess, she would have definitely wanted him at the wedding. And now, when he was finally out of that horrible group, she couldn't help but think again how nice it would be. And he would get to see Master Therien there too.
She gave Bishop a questioning look, hoping he would get where she was going with this. Bishop apparently did. He scowled fiercely and he threw Azshan a nasty look. But after a spell, he rolled his eyes and nodded a little. That was probably the most accepting he could get, considering.
"What do you mean?" Azshan had no patience for their subtle exchanges.
"Well… you could come see him at our wedding," Aeyrin bit her lower lip a bit at those words.
"What? You're getting married?" Surprisingly enough, his shock was accompanied by a wide smile the entire time. "And… you'd really want me there, after everything?"
"It's a 'no nobles' thing, so don't expect to have any 'fun' there," Bishop smirked.
"That's fine. That's much better, really. And not surprising at all," Azshan laughed. Of course, neither of them were really fans of these games.
"Yeah. I'd like to have you there," Aeyrin smiled warmly.
"And I'll survive it," Bishop shrugged. He could see how much Aeyrin appreciated finally being able to be honest with Azshan and reuniting with him. He still fucking hated how much shit Azshan had put them through. But… it wasn't as if Bishop himself never hurt Aeyrin, even if not intentionally. If she was really ready to trust him again, who was he to try and talk her out of it?
Instead of answering, Azshan stood from his chair and enveloped Aeyrin in a tight hug – as tight as he could with one arm.
There were no more words exchanged before he let go of her and, still with a bright smile on his face, sat down again and grabbed his bottle of mead. He outstretched his hand with it and gestured for Bishop to clink it with his in celebration.
"It's near Falkreath. So… you could take a brief stop before you head south," Aeyrin smiled gently.
"Well… that is on the way," Azshan smirked. "I guess I could make it. When is it?"
"Eighteenth of Last Seed. We'll send you a letter before with the details," she said. It was still all largely up in the air. She and Bishop mostly went with anything that Saadia and Lydia said. They liked these plans. There was no point in changing anything.
"Thank you. Really. It means a lot. And it will be great to see Master Therien again. Even if he does chew me out," Azshan chuckled again. "So… why Falkreath?"
Before either of them could answer, however, another knock on the door echoed through the chamber. Now the talk of the wedding had to stop. It was still not supposed to be too public. Aeyrin walked over to the door while Bishop gestured to Azshan to keep his mouth shut on the subject, earning an understanding nod in return.
When Aeyrin opened, she saw once more the towering figure of Casavir, trying to appear subtle in the dark. He did bring more roses with him again. Where was he getting these?
"Hi, Casavir. Come in. And… thank you… again," Aeyrin accepted the flowers from him awkwardly and closed the door behind him. She could still add them to the previous batch in the vase up in the master bedroom. They hadn't even wilted yet. Though they did have a particular effect. They seemed to be making Bishop angry every time he caught a glimpse of them. Angry and territorial. And very proactive about it. He usually insisted on taking her right after she caught him scowling at the flowers a little longer than anyone else would. That was kind of the only reason why she hadn't thrown them out yet just to ease his torment.
"You are welcome, my lady. You will not believe what happened today," Casavir shook his head incredulously as he continued towards the kitchen when Aeyrin ushered him in. He stopped in his tracks abruptly though when he saw who was already sitting there.
"What did happen today?" Azshan gave him a wry smile. "Did some corrupt bastard finally resign from your Order?"
"Ah… Azshan? What?" Casavir's eyes went wide at the sight. And at Azshan's casual attitude towards the situation.
"And by the way, did you really just bring her roses?" Azshan raised his brow at Casavir with palpable amusement in his voice. "You know, that can be… misinterpreted, even from a pure soul like you, Cas. I wouldn't be surprised if Bishop punched you at some point."
"I would, but he'd have me arrested instead of just taking it like a man," Bishop smirked. "He did that the last time he was here too, by the way."
"Damn, that's bold," Azshan laughed.
"It is merely a symbol of chivalry and respect for… I don't have to explain myself to you two!" Casavir scowled fiercely. "My lady, what is he doing here?" He inclined his head to Azshan with palpable disgust.
"He's here to talk. As are you," Aeyrin gestured towards one of the empty chairs. "As will Elisif, hopefully."
"What?!" Casavir didn't sit down. He stared at her incredulously. "My lady, we can't. I can't talk to her. If I suspect correctly and you wish to speak of what I think you do, there is too much on the line if we…"
"There's too much on the line if we don't, Casavir. A lot has happened last night. We can't leave her out of this anymore. She's surrounded by people who could be her downfall at any second. She needs to know," Aeyrin shook her head at him adamantly.
"Aeyrin's right. We can't keep her in the dark anymore. She's in too much danger," Azshan sighed.
"What? My lady, why is he here? Why didn't you tell me? How long have you two been working together?" Casavir looked so confused. And rightfully so.
"For like twenty hours now," Azshan chuckled a bit.
"Casavir, please sit down, calm down. We'll explain everything once Elisif gets here. You both need to hear this. Hear everything. Then we can all talk about what to do," Aeyrin raised her hands in a calming gesture.
Casavir didn't look too happy about this and he still looked utterly shocked. But lucky for him, the next knock came promptly.
Aeyrin rushed to open the door, only to find a figure in an old worn black cloak behind it. For a spell, she got terrified. Maybe this was someone it shouldn't be. Maybe it was the assassin! But soon, the figure spoke. Whispered.
"I'm sorry." It was clearly Elisif under there. "Your note sounded so scary and cryptic. You said nobody could see me. So I did this and I took the secret escape tunnel from the Palace."
Impressive. She did go all out on the subtlety. She looked like some beggar or such. But when she came inside and removed her cloak, she revealed the beautiful purple gown below, as always adorned with ornaments and jewels.
Aeyrin took her cloak and placed it on the small table near the entrance, then she ushered her into the kitchen where everyone was waiting.
Her reaction was similar to Casavir's, except she didn't expect two of the present people to be there.
"By the… Eight. What… what is going on?" Her eyes went wide as she looked at Casavir, then Azshan, then at Azshan's tellingly tied up sleeve.
"We all need to talk," Aeyrin explained curtly.
"Sir Casavir?" Elisif scowled the most at his presence. Everyone here had a different narrative they were familiar with. For Elisif, Casavir was the corrupt paladin. For Casavir, it was Azshan. And Azshan himself was perhaps the only one here who knew every detail and the extent of all the atrocities that happened in Solitude and anywhere else in the name of power and influence.
"Your Majesty, I… I don't know what to say," Casavir let out a sigh. He could not explain his presence there to her. He could not tell her the truth. But Aeyrin was tired of this. It was time to stop all the lies and all the false blame.
"He didn't do it," she spoke resolutely. "He didn't poison me. I've known for months and me and Casavir have been communicating in secret to find out the full scope of the plot. And all the other schemes done by the same people."
"Plots? Schemes? What are you saying?" Elisif shook her head incredulously.
"The poisoning was only a small part of something much bigger. People trying to gain more influence by framing and discrediting others. Casavir only took the blame to protect his Order," Aeyrin tried to explain more but there was so much to say.
"Protect his Order?" Elisif repeated, dumbfounded. "From what? And who did…?"
"I did," Azshan interrupted her question by answering outright. "I poisoned Aeyrin. And I did so much more." It would almost sound like a brag if his tone wasn't so somber.
"Sir Azshan? I don't understand," Elisif gaped at him. "You poisoned your friend? And… what happened to you?" She gestured to his clearly missing arm before she let out a gasp of realization. "Oh Gods! Did someone… did you?" She looked at Bishop meaningfully.
What?!
"Why are you looking at me?" Bishop scoffed. "You think I chopped his arm off?"
"A reasonable assumption," Casavir muttered under his breath, but of course everyone heard.
"Fuck you, tin-head," Bishop growled promptly.
"Bishop didn't do this to me," Azshan shook his head. "I wouldn't have blamed him, given everything I did to him, framing him for the poisoning, and everything I did to Aeyrin. But this wasn't him. One of my… lovers did this to me. Former lover, I guess," he smirked at himself disparagingly. Somehow it seemed like he only phrased it that way for the dramatic effect. It was what he had always done though – why expect him to change entirely overnight?
At the mention of it, Elisif softly mumbled the word 'lovers' to herself in confusion while Casavir shook his head at Azshan very disapprovingly.
"Oh come on, Cas," Azshan rolled his eyes. "After everything I've done, I really don't think breaking some vow is up there with the worst stuff."
"I am… so confused," Elisif let out a defeated sigh.
"As am I," Casavir nodded.
"Well, it is getting confusing," Aeyrin ushered Elisif to finally sit down until she could bring the chair from the entryway to join them by the dining table too. "We should really start at the beginning. Or… rather… you should," she nodded at Azshan. In the meantime, Bishop reached out for two more bottles of mead. He handed one to Elisif and one to Aeyrin. Then he smirked meanly at Casavir. He wasn't getting any drinks. He was a proper paladin after all.
"Right. Right. It… all started so long ago," Azshan nodded. "But I'll try to remember it all. All that I know at least."
It would take him a long time before he got to last night.
But they all needed to hear this.
…
It did take a long time to explain everything.
Luckily, Azshan was determined. He was determined to tell Elisif and Casavir everything. He began the tale with how it all started, how Gisli started spreading around what her brother was doing to the help to try and have people finally see him for what he was. How the people that believed her, such as Bryling and some executive from the East Empire Company, tried to help her devise schemes to tarnish Erikur's reputation. Which worked, but nobody would still do anything. And then, as they plotted and planned, everyone started to pile more up – more people abusing the system, more people that shouldn't be in power. But in the end, those plots involved a lot of the same stuff. Corruption, lies, bribery, sacrifice. The ends justified the means. And their group grew and, in time, it became the very thing it fought against.
He told them about the poisoning, about his intentions to discredit the city's leadership for their incompetence regarding the dragon threat while at the same time ridding Aeyrin of her potentially very dangerous suitor – Bishop. He told them about the ball and Erikur, how Gisli's plans finally came to fruition, though, in the end, without the thaneship she craved alongside them. He told them about the dragon and the experiments with Forsworn in the Reach, about Sybille Stentor, Fort Snowhawk, and then, finally, about last night.
By the end of it, all was laid bare.
And Elisif knew just how much trouble she was in.
"By the Gods," the Queen shook her head incredulously. "I… I knew something was wrong. Everyone around me kept… disappearing. And there was nothing I could do."
"The lies you spun… disgusting," Casavir snarled at Azshan with disdain.
"Yes. Though… mostly they were not lies. Mostly. With some exceptions," he looked pointedly at Bishop. "We just… exposed. Exaggerated."
"You lied! Don't sugar-coat it. You framed innocent people," Casavir growled. "Headmaster Viarmo, Lady Stentor, and… Divines forgive me, even Bishop was innocent of the crimes you laid on him. Not of other crimes, but…"
"Wow. What a compliment," Bishop smirked.
Azshan threw a brief look at Elisif as she started to play with the hem of her gown nervously.
"What was that?" Bishop narrowed his eyes at them. What was that reaction? Was this about his innocence in the poisoning? How in the Void could they know something he didn't about this?
"Well… actually," Elisif spoke nervously, but Azshan quickly interrupted her.
"You shouldn't tell them," he shook his head, but his eyes were clearly fastened on Casavir.
"Tell us what?" Aeyrin cocked her head at Azshan in confusion.
"It's not really important for us. Let it go," Azshan waved his hand dismissively.
"No… I don't want to do this anymore," Elisif scowled. "You all called me here and risked so much to tell me everything. No more secrets. Not in this circle. And I know now that we all understand the necessity of keeping some secrets on the outside."
Azshan only let out a resigned sigh and he muttered under his breath: "I warned you, Your Majesty."
"Sir Casavir," she looked at the paladin with bated breath. "I am so sorry for believing those accusations. I am so sorry for letting everyone treat you as they did. And most of all, I am so sorry for losing my trust in you. I never should have doubted it. So, to prove to you that I don't, here it is. The accusations are true. Sybille, my oldest friend, is a vampire. I've actually been sneaking blood to her into the prison on my visits so that she won't go feral and she'll be able to maintain her disguise."
The table fell quiet for a while. But Aeyrin couldn't really help herself. The shock and horror were clear in her voice.
"Your court wizard is a vampire?!" She gasped.
"My court wizard is a clever, kind and talented woman. My dearest friend and confidant. What do I care that she has some unusual abilities? She knows how to handle them. They don't rule her. And they don't erase the human beneath," Elisif almost snarled in the woman's defense.
Aeyrin should have been more appalled by this – that was what she was supposed to think of vampires. But she was suddenly so… touched. She felt a lump in her throat and she almost felt like crying at the sentiment. It had been a long day. Or two long days and this just… even though it wasn't about her, it made her feel like less of a monster for being what she was. She wasn't the only one who made that connection, clearly. She felt Bishop's hand under the table briefly squeeze hers and he was smiling a bit at Elisif's words. Maybe if there were good people among the lycanthropes, there could be such vampires out there too.
"I… admit, Your Majesty, this is… troubling. But… I admire your compassion," Casavir let out a somewhat resigned sigh, but there was a hint of joy in his voice. "For your friend and… for me. For a long time, I wished nothing more than to gain your trust once again. And… to prove to you that I am worthy of it, I will say nothing of your friend to anyone. I leave the matter to your discretion."
Elisif and Casavir shared a bright smile at the exchange, but Azshan interrupted them soon.
"At least there's that. With your help, Sybille will maintain her disguise and replace Melaran at the court position again. I… I really don't know how to fix that mess with Viarmo though. He did nothing wrong but…"
"But saying that the false epics were planted will make it clear that someone told me," Elisif sighed. "It's… alright. I will let Viarmo know privately that I believe him about being set up. But I can't do anything else about it yet. At least he wasn't framed for anything outright illegal. And… knowing what to expect from that Pantea person is enough."
"We hoped so. We know that there's no real solution for this and…" Aeyrin sighed. "Me and Azshan can't really risk helping you and exposing all of us to those maniacs. But we hoped that at least knowing who is against you and what is going on could help."
"It helps more than you think," Elisif gave her a grateful smile. "I admit, I was very wary of the letter I received. I suppose our history made me more curious than scared," she chuckled as she nodded at Bishop. "But being asked to come here completely unseen in the dead of night was something quite new for me. I am very glad that I did."
"Yes. I am glad as well," Casavir smiled as well. It sounded like he was glad for being invited and spoken to about this, but when he looked at Elisif, it was clear that he was much more glad that she came here too. "But yes, we have learned much today, but we all know we cannot expose anything. Too many innocents are being blackmailed, held captive, metaphorically, by these monsters in our midst. We cannot let them fall prey to our brashness. Even though some would deserve to be exposed and appropriately punished for their crimes," he scowled fiercely at Azshan.
"I've been punished. Even though it might not be enough for you," Azshan frowned as well. "You may be right, but saving scores of people should be more important than killing one."
"That is why I will not expose you," Casavir said. "But mark my words. Once this is over with, I will make sure that your name does not go unmentioned in all this. Your crimes will be known, as it should be, once it threatens no one."
"Casavir! Is that really necessary? To have more people suffer?" Aeyrin scoffed at him.
"People suffered because of him! You did!" Casavir growled angrily.
"This way the suffering will never end. He paid for his crimes and schemes. His life here is over. Just leave it be!"
"Thank you, Aeyrin, but you don't have to do this," Azshan smiled at her. He looked oddly accepting. "If that's what he wants, I won't stop him. I'm leaving anyway."
"You're not leaving the Empire. He can still…" Aeyrin scowled, but she was promptly interrupted by Elisif.
"Please, enough. If this is how it has to be, then so be it. Once this is done, I will issue a formal pardon for you, Sir Azshan. Without you, this might have all gone unnoticed for much longer. And you did risk your life to make things right."
"He is not a 'Sir'," Casavir grumbled angrily, but he was clearly not going to argue with Elisif on anything else.
"Apologies," she merely shrugged. "So… I suppose, now we all return to our lives. Some here, some elsewhere. We will just… need to be wary. And watch."
"There's not much else to do, I'm afraid," Casavir sighed. "But Lady Rose should hopefully gain more and more trust with this group to the point where we could get some actual evidence." He had mentioned his informant to everyone when he was filling in the gaps in Azshan's tale. She was everyone's best bet. Someone on the inside. If only Azshan had spoken to them sooner, it could have been him. And everything could have been so different now.
"For now, we are defeated," Elisif nodded somberly. "But we will turn this around. I am certain of it. Thanks to your help," she smiled brightly at Aeyrin and Azshan.
It felt good to be on the same side again, even though they wouldn't be 'working together' for much longer. Or any more at all.
But they could be in each other's lives again.
As friends, not as secret enemies.
Even in defeat, it was the best thing Aeyrin could have hoped for, coming from this mess.
…
"Fucking asshole."
Bishop grumbled as he plopped down onto his back on the soft bed. His eyes went to the roses on Aeyrin's nightstand again.
It still pissed him off. Azshan was right at calling that tin-head out on this bullshit and Bishop was still convinced it was all just to rile him up. But then again, it did have its benefits. Aeyrin seemed to be very amused by his reactions where he got in his own head about it. And he could always use the reassurance at that point. Like now. Aeyrin was still trying to steady her breathing, lying on the bed next to him, naked and covered in sweat just like he was.
Aeyrin let out another chuckle at his indignation about the roses. She wasn't even sure if he was still upset over them or if he was forcing himself to be just so they could do this whole play over and over again with him getting too absorbed in the implications and practically tackling her to the bed.
"So… tomorrow?" Bishop asked after a bit. It was time for them to leave Solitude after that whole mess. They said their goodbyes to Elisif and Casavir, wishing them luck with their investigation, and they were set to see Azshan today for the last time. But then, there was no reason to stay any longer. It's been six days – the assassin had likely moved on, if he ever even wanted to pursue them. And it was high time they got out of the conspirators' line of sight.
"Yeah, tomorrow," Aeyrin nodded. Their three visitors left the mansion only a while ago, but there was really no reason to prolong the stay any more.
She finally managed to steady her breathing a bit and she rolled over on the bed to press herself to his flank and nuzzle her head into the crook of his shoulder. She placed her hand gently on his chest and started to lazily play with his hair there.
"Hey, you're alright with me inviting Azshan to the wedding, right?" She asked again, just to be sure. She knew they kind of communicated non-verbally about that, but she still wasn't sure if it was a good idea after everything. She wanted him there, but she just wasn't sure if it was a good idea.
"It's fine," Bishop nodded. "He seemed to have a quick fucking sobering that night. I don't think he'll be any trouble."
"From what he said, the sobering had been going on for a while," Aeyrin sighed. Who knew Azshan felt trapped in the situation too, even though he appeared to be in control and enjoying himself? She remembered how Gisli yelled at him at the ball and how nervous he looked. She should have thought of this. She should have reached out and talked to him. Maybe it wouldn't have gone this far if she had.
Or maybe it could have been worse. Who knew anymore?
"I'm just glad you didn't invite the tin-head," Bishop scoffed.
"I wouldn't do that to you," she chuckled. She really wouldn't. She herself wouldn't mind having Casavir there, probably, but inviting someone Bishop outright hated seemed mean. Also, Casavir would surely just fill the time by bad-mouthing and disparaging Bishop. That was not something she wanted to ruin their day.
"But you know, speaking of inviting people, do you want to invite Jordis?" Aeyrin pondered after a spell. They were getting along great. And even though Jordis sometimes caught Aeyrin off guard with her comments, she was a fun person to have around.
"What? Fuck no!" Bishop protested instantly. He didn't even realize how weird that answer would have sounded. He wasn't planning on telling Aeyrin what happened but…
"I thought you liked her," Aeyrin gave him a surprised look.
"I thought so too," he mumbled under his breath. That got Aeyrin's attention.
"Bish, what happened?" She scowled. Come to think of it, he had been a bit more silent around Jordis for a few days now. Or just a day? Was it since the festival?
Bishop let out a long-suffering sigh, followed by a groan. This was gonna make shit even more uncomfortable, but he wasn't going to lie now.
"At that festival, you disappeared, then Azshan disappeared."
"Yeah. We were inside that…"
"I know," Bishop interrupted her. She didn't need to explain herself. He had heard this all before. "When you were both gone, Jordis kind of… tried to seduce me."
"She did what?" Aeyrin promptly moved away from him, using his chest to hoist herself up into a half-sit. Why would Jordis do that? She knew they were together. Was it really true or did Bishop just imagine this? It wasn't out of the realm of possibility. He always only imagined that all guys around were pining after Aeyrin, it was possible he was misinterpreting things here too. "Are you sure? Maybe she was just being her usual self and you…"
"I am sure. She fucking dragged me into a dark corner and pressed those tits against me and everything. We talked about it. I'm very sure."
Seriously? Aeyrin still couldn't understand it. Jordis saw them together every day.
"That… bitch," Aeyrin scoffed. She liked Jordis and she thought it was mutual. "Why would she do that?"
"I don't know," Bishop sighed. "She made some leaps, I guess. She kept trying to convince me that you and Azshan had something going on. That that was why you both disappeared. And she assumed we're not exactly in a good place because of all that bullshit," he rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry, I don't know why she would ruin shit like that. I'm fucking pissed, I did actually like her, but now she made it all weird and awkward." He wasn't sure if he should say that nothing actually happened. Did he even need to? Aeyrin didn't even ask. That was kinda reassuring that she trusted him so much. And if something happened, this conversation would have a very different tone after all.
"Dammit," Aeyrin sighed. "It is gonna be awkward. Why would she do that?" She asked herself again.
"I really don't know," he grumbled. She could have picked any other fucking guy at that festival. Or she could have just moved on when he made it clear he didn't want that. But she kept fucking insisting.
"So… were you… tempted?" Aeyrin couldn't help but ask. She didn't really think he was and she was sure that he didn't do anything with Jordis. She was just curious if it had an effect on him.
"Not really," Bishop shrugged. He didn't even really think about that.
"Really? Not even with that dress? I couldn't stop staring," Aeyrin chuckled a bit. It was definitely the purpose of that dress. But it did kind of piss her off to think now that Jordis wore it specifically to seduce her fiancé. Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing. Or maybe that bitch was really planning this. Hoping for this.
"Hah! Yeah..." Bishop smirked. "You wanted to fuck her when you saw her tits in that dress?"
"No," Aeyrin scoffed.
"See? It is possible not to want to fuck instantly when you see something like that. It's not like seeing those fucking flowers," he narrowed his eyes at the roses by the nightstand again.
Aeyrin couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh. True, the flowers had an effect on him. She was glad they could talk about stuff like this without being so insecure and worried anymore. Though it still brewed resentment. But fortunately not between the two of them.
"Are you gonna be weird around her now too?" Bishop pondered after a spell. "Or will there be punching?"
"Not gonna lie, I do feel like punching her for that," Aeyrin grumbled. "But… we're leaving tomorrow. And… there's been enough drama. And I don't wanna make things worse. It just… sucks."
"Yeah," Bishop sighed. It did suck, but what else could they do? Maybe they'd forget this in time. Or not. In any case, they still had other friends they could actually trust.
Besides, Jordis could still be a spy.
Maybe it was for the best.
…
The day took an unexpected turn before their departure.
It wouldn't be anything noteworthy just a week ago, but after what happened out in the wilderness, this was a concerning sight. Bishop and Aeyrin went to the markets one last time before heading out. They didn't need anything and they barely had any money left, but they wanted to check the markets, just in case. After all, it was quite possible that they would not meet a pleasant welcome at their next destination.
The trip yielded nothing but potentially dire news though.
There was a group of Vigilants marching into the city. It probably wouldn't be anything strange, but after their run-in during Aeyrin's last transformation, it didn't bode well.
Aeyrin felt like they were watching her. Bishop kept reassuring her that none of them even looked at her as they marched through, but she couldn't help it. This was the last thing she needed. After all that to have Vigilants after her. She couldn't even imagine what they would do. They killed werewolves, no questions asked.
She used to think like that too.
Everything seemed more complicated now though.
She could still find out what they were doing here though. Azshan was still at the Castle. It would take some time to process his resignation and he needed to do a lot of things before he moved for good. He would know. If he was not informed outright, he would have heard at least. The Vigilants would alert the Order and the Legion to their activities here right?
And she could disguise her worry at their presence as worry over that vampire court wizard.
Now there was another reason why she couldn't wait to see him, aside from saying goodbye properly. Though at least they would still see each other at the wedding.
The rest of their day was fortunately uneventful and they were all ready to leave after Azshan stopped by. It was for the best. Now it was awkward around Jordis for Aeyrin too. The house was just uncomfortable through and through and it was obvious that Jordis kept wondering if Aeyrin knew about that night.
But soon they wouldn't have to worry about that.
Bishop was just on his way to bathe before the journey when he heard a knock on the door. He was ready to take the detour and direct Azshan upstairs, but Jordis was apparently drawing by the entrance and managed to get there before Bishop even came into view.
"Lady Jordis," Azshan nodded promptly with his usual polite tone, but the reception he got had a bit of a different energy.
"Holy shit! You don't have an arm!" Jordis gasped. Sometimes it was really hard to believe that she used to work for a noble. She really got into this casual lifestyle without decorum very quickly.
"How observant," Azshan grumbled.
"No… sorry, I didn't mean… I just… after last night. Did Bishop cut off your arm? What were you doing with it?" Jordis promptly gave him an eager look.
"What?" Azshan cocked his head to the side in confusion before he spotted Bishop approach and directed his questioning look at him instead.
"Why the fuck does everyone ask if I did that?" Bishop scoffed. His presence made Jordis instantly flinch. Probably because of that assumption of hers. Or because of the awkwardness between them.
"I don't know. Did you have a reputation for it or…?" Azshan chuckled.
"Not really," Bishop scoffed.
"What did you mean 'what was I doing with it'?" Azshan looked at Jordis again.
"Don't mind her," Bishop answered promptly instead. "She thinks you and Aeyrin disappeared at the festival to go fuck somewhere."
"Ah. I don't think he'd chop off my hand," Azshan snorted.
"Very true," Bishop nodded. Azshan had no such intentions, clearly, but it was good that he knew what he was in for if he ever got a stupid idea like that in his head.
"Anyway, no, nothing like that. We went bandit hunting," Azshan gestured to his hand.
"Really? Why not tell the guards and enjoy the festival?" Jordis scowled at him.
"Yeah… hindsight," Azshan groaned. "How about we end this discussion?"
"Aeyrin's upstairs. Just go on ahead," Bishop gestured to the stairs behind his back. Azshan didn't hesitate before he marched towards those stairs and then up.
"So… you bought that bandit bullshit, huh?" Jordis smirked at Bishop when Azshan was out of earshot.
Bishop merely rolled his eyes with a dismissive scoff. He really didn't want to discuss this with her anymore. There wasn't anything to discuss. He knew what happened. He just couldn't talk about it.
Sometimes the awkwardness was helpful though.
At least Jordis didn't dare to pester him for answers he didn't wanna give anymore.
…
Azshan seemed oddly calm about everything.
Maybe it wasn't hitting him yet – that he was going to uproot his life entirely, lose everything he had worked for here, lose everyone around him. But maybe it was a good thing, given how trapped he had been feeling. And he wasn't going to unfamiliar waters. He was coming back home. Sure, he had been gone for a long time. He left for his vigil and his training in the Imperial City when he was eighteen. But there were some people he knew who still stayed at the temple. And Sevyen, whom Azshan really disliked. He was not going to like that fact.
"So you stayed in touch with people there? Or just Master Therien?" He asked curiously as they talked in the bedroom. He kept walking around, examining the lavish chambers, as if it was the last time he was going to see something like that. Maybe it was.
"Well I only wrote to Master Therien, but we went to Cyrodiil just now. We only got back like two weeks ago," Aeyrin smiled. "Right before Master Therien left. But a lot of others you know are still there. Master Samus, Master Selvia, Gavros, M'vari. Uhm… Sevyen."
"Ugh. You know I thought she would be running the place by now," Azshan chuckled. "And Selvia is a Master now?"
"Yeah, well… Master Drothi…"
"Passed. Yeah, I'd figure," Azshan nodded. "Well… it's gonna be interesting to see everyone. I hope I'll get used to the lifestyle again. I can't really imagine it now."
"You don't have to stay if it's not right," Aeyrin gave him a comforting smile. "But you have a place to go. A place to start over and figure things out. That's important."
"Yeah. You're right. It is reassuring. It's the first time everything's so open for me though," he sighed a little. He'd always had a clear plan in his life. This must have been concerning. "Anyway… speaking of places. This really is a nice one." He kept walking around the room, examining any little decoration or trinket there. None of those were Aeyrin's. It was all there before.
"Yeah. It is nice. But it's not like it's anything other than a place to crash and save money for the Skeever. And probably not even that anytime soon," she sighed. "I don't think we'll be coming back to Solitude anytime soon."
"That's understandable," Azshan nodded thoughtfully. "Still… I wouldn't mind having this to fall back to."
"It's not much of a fallback when you feel nervous in the entire city," she scoffed. "I don't know. I guess I just miss… having a home, you know? Somewhere I can always feel safe. I'm a little jealous that you get to go back to the chapel. Even though I would get antsy and wanted to travel again within a week."
"Sure, everyone needs a place to return to," he gave her an understanding smile. "You don't have anywhere like that?"
"No. We used to, but… it's complicated," she sighed. "Do me a favor, don't go through Whiterun when you head to Falkreath." She didn't want him to hear all those rumors about her and Bishop. Or see that prominent sign on her house, even if he didn't put two and two together right away.
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," Azshan smirked. "I'll stay in the fully Imperial regions. Just in case."
Would he really be recognizable by the Stormcloaks? And would the rebels even have a beef with the paladins? Maybe it was just some propaganda he was scared by. Maybe he heard some exaggerations about Stormcloaks. Maybe even about how they treat outsiders, even human ones like Redguards.
Azshan was still examining the room until he stopped by one of the cupboards. It had a canvas on it which was turned to face the wall. It was an endless game during their entire stay – Bishop's 'art'. He always turned it over when he came into the bedroom so that his drawing could be seen. And Aeyrin promptly turned it back whenever she noticed. It was a bit of fun teasing, but when Azshan stopped and tried to turn over the canvas, she instantly remembered why she began to hide it in the first place.
"No, leave that alone," she quickly tried to stop him.
"Well now I just have to see it," Azshan laughed in return. Dammit, she just made it worse.
He didn't wait for more protests from her and he grabbed a hold of the canvas and took it in his hand, examining it. First he seemed a little caught-off guard, but soon enough, he burst into a fit of laughter.
"Damn, the clothes hide a lot," he chuckled. The proportions on the drawing were definitely inaccurate. "I didn't even know it was physically possible to hide so much under a tight shirt. You know, never thought I'd say this about you, but I can't accuse you of a lack of confidence."
"I didn't draw that. Bishop did," Aeyrin snickered a bit, though she had to squirm in embarrassment too. "He was just being funny. Thought drawing 'couldn't be that hard'."
"Well this could really put proper artists to shame," Azshan laughed. It was probably good that the drawing was so bad. Everyone could see that it was just a doodle. If it was an actual artistic rendition of her naked, she would never be able to let anyone see it.
"Sure, forget adventuring, this is clearly his calling," Aeyrin chuckled.
Azshan smiled a bit before he placed the drawing back and turned it over again so that it would stay hidden. He stopped pacing around the room and finally settled himself, sitting down on the bed next to her.
"You know, ever since you told me you're getting married, I keep thinking about how I actually wanted to ruin that. I knew him for a second and I was ready to condemn him based on some rumors and badmouthing," he shook his head at himself. "I know what kind of a person I've become. And it had to get really bad for me to actually start thinking that I didn't want to be that way. But I knew that I was doing bad things, it was just… worth it. When I poisoned you, I knew I was doing something bad. I knew that even though the poison was harmless, I was still hurting you. At the very least, you trusted me and I broke that trust. It just felt worth it. But the scariest part of this all is that… when I did this, when I framed him, I actually thought I was doing a good thing. I was doing you a favor, you just couldn't see it. How can you tell? How can you ever tell if you actually know better and you're saving someone or if you're the idiot and you're ruining their life?"
"I don't know," she shook her head. "But… maybe you should have talked to me about this. I knew what Casavir was on about, I would have told you that I knew about Bishop's past and wasn't concerned about it. Then maybe you wouldn't have needed to feel like you gotta 'protect' me from him."
"Yeah. I really should learn how to talk to people more directly," he sighed. "You know, to this day I still don't know what those rumors from Casavir were about, why he kept calling Bishop a 'criminal'."
"And you don't need to know," Aeyrin smirked at him. "It's not my story to tell."
"Fair enough," he nodded. "Guess it just goes to show how much I relied on hearsay. I can stand not knowing someone's personal business. It might be good for me," he chuckled a bit. "I am really glad I failed back then though. Really. It's great to see you so happy. You get this smile on your face whenever you talk about him, even if you're complaining about his artistic talents," he chuckled.
"I really missed you. Missed us being able to be like this," she sighed. It's been such a long time since she felt comfortable around him again. At least it felt like a long time.
"Me too," he sighed. "And I'm gonna miss you when I leave. Not that we've seen each other that much here, but… still, we'll be across the border, it's probably gonna be even worse."
"I'll come visit," she wrapped her arm around his shoulder in a reassuring gesture.
"You better. And in time, I might come visit too. Somewhere other than Solitude. And I'll learn to write with my left hand soon enough, so get ready for some letters," he smirked as he wrapped his arm around her waist in turn and moved closer so that they could sit there next to each other in a comfortable half-hug.
She hadn't even thought about it. His right arm was his dominant one – he would have to relearn everything, not just fighting. If he ever wanted to fight again at all, that is.
"I'm really sorry I didn't stop her," she nuzzled into him more and gently ran her hand over what remained of his right arm.
"It's not your fault. I made my bed," he shook his head. "I can still feel it, you know? The arm. It's weird. I keep trying to grab things with it, but then nothing happens," he chuckled a little before his face turned somber again. "I didn't think she would do it. It started a long time ago – our… relationship, if you can call it that. I had fun, it was exciting, secret and forbidden. Then there were others alongside that, Pantea and Gisli mainly. And it started to be less fun as time went by. And in the end I kinda felt like a toy they kept borrowing. I'm pretty sure that was the only reason they didn't force me to leave or just ruin me outright sooner, after my screw-ups. But somehow, the idiot that I am, when I saw her standing there with that sword, I still didn't think she would actually try to hurt me. It wasn't love or anything. It wasn't even affection. But it was something in the beginning. Guess I'm the only idiot that thought so."
Aeyrin didn't know what to say to that. There was nothing to do but to keep him in her embrace. With every word, she just felt more and more guilty for not just talking to him much earlier. They were both guilty of that. They should have remembered how much they used to trust and rely on each other before. But how could anyone do that after five years of being apart? People could change.
She felt guilty that it had to come to this, but she was still grateful to find the old him beneath again.
"Or maybe this was all a punishment from the Gods for flouting my vows," he scoffed.
"You really think so?" Aeyrin cocked her head to the side as she looked at him again.
"No. I don't know. Guess I just keep wondering where it all went wrong. But there's probably not one reason it did. A lot of stuff went wrong. I've done a lot of stuff wrong."
"There's no point in dwelling on it," she squeezed her arm around him reassuringly. "You did what was right yesterday. Now you just have to try and move on. Hope for the best. We both do."
"Yeah. We do," he nodded. "I am glad I don't have to keep more secrets from you though. I didn't actually have a friend through all this. They were all just pissed off at me after a while. I'd rather give up the game than be alone."
"It doesn't always have to be bad, right?" Aeyrin pondered. "I mean, I don't understand it, but you clearly have a talent for this 'game'. There's a lot of people suffering in it, from the rumors about them, false accusations. There should be people on the other side of it too. Who make things right, you know?"
"It feels like how this all started, but maybe there is a way to actually play the nobility games and not become one of the vipers. Maybe the point is to care more for helping people than helping yourself," he sighed. "I don't think I'll be jumping back in anytime soon. I can't… I have nothing again. No status, no position in a paladin Order. But I guess we'll see where life takes me. Some time in a calm temple does sound kinda cathartic right now."
"It's gonna be good," she nodded. It did sound like a good place to go for him right now.
"I've been to Falkreath a few times. I thought I might help the elf priest in that town for a while before the wedding. I'll cross the border after that."
"Well… be careful. Falkreath's cursed," Aeyrin noted somberly. She was pretty sure it was true by now.
"Yeah, I heard the rumors. But I don't go by rumors anymore," he laughed. "If you believe that though, why are you getting married there?"
"The lake's not cursed. We're getting married on the lake. That place is perfect," she smiled wistfully. Nothing bad ever happened on that gorgeous lake.
"A wedding on a lake? That sounds unique. I wouldn't expect anything but unique from you," he smirked. "I can't wait. It's good to have something pleasant to look forward to now, without worrying about messing shit up."
She couldn't agree more. It was so comforting to have that to look forward to, no matter what other mess was going on around.
No matter what went wrong, how much they lost or screwed up.
Aeyrin was determined to enjoy that day when it came despite anything that could go wrong.
It was about time something ended up going right.