Chapter 20

I'm sure Himiko felt blindsided by the fact, that I left her and Rin in the hands of my mother. However, I needed to speak with Inuyasha, alone. We made our way to the other side of the sky palace. I wanted to make sure that we were out of earshot. I did not need anyone eavesdropping in on our conversation. I closed the door behind us. He turned to me. A confused look in his eyes. I sat at the table, gesturing for him to sit with me. He cautiously sat down across from me.

"What are we doing here Sesshomaru?"

"You are a full demon," I said stalling.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, so does that mean I'm good enough for you to speak to now?"

I sighed. "That is not what I said. Nor is that what I meant."

"So then you're only speaking to me because Himiko told you to be nice to me."

He threw his hands up. "Then what is it!?"

I sighed. "I will explain that if you let me."

He folded his arms, waiting for me to go on.

"There is something I need to ask you. Depending on your answer. That will determine how you and I go on from here."

He nodded. "Okay, then what's the question?"

I took a deep breath. "What exactly do you feel for Himiko?"

The question had caught him off guard.

I hated that I felt the need to ask him this. It made me feel weak; and insecure. A feeling that was extremely foreign to me.

"What do you mean, what do I feel for her? Where did that question even come from?"

"You know very well what I mean, and it matters not where it came from. All you need to do is answer it."

I could see him thinking.

He smirked. "Oh, I see. You're jealous of me and Himiko's relationship."

Relationship.

I was not fond of hearing their names. Along with the word relationship. Together in the same sentence.

"I'm right aren't I?" he said gloating. "I never thought I'd see the day you were jealous of me. Well, not a second time anyway."

The brat was gloating... but truth be told. I never saw this day coming either.

"Answer the question Inuyasha."

"It's a disrespectful question to ask in the first place, especially on Himiko's part. I know you might not like me that much, but to think I'd go after your wife is low, even for you. She'd never do anything like that either."

"I do not dislike you Inuyasha. I know she would not, but I am asking you. What do you feel for her?"

"You don't sound so sure."

"You are avoiding the question. If you love her, I cannot form a relationship with you. Not because of anything that has happened in the past, but because I love her more than anything. I cannot watch you covet her, and I will not ignore it."

"You want to have a relationship with me?" he asked in disbelief.

"That is not what I said."

He smirked. "It sounds like that is what you're trying to say."

"Focus Inuyasha."

He sighed. "Fine. I love her."

I tightened my grip on the arms of the chair.

"Just not in the way you think. I know I follow her around like some little lost puppy, but it is not because I want to be with her in that way. With her it's different. After my mother died, I had no one, and I had nowhere to go. I had no home. I didn't belong anywhere. I wanted a family... I wanted to be seen. Himiko sees me, Sesshomaru. She's the only person besides my mother who's told me I belonged somewhere. Even when I was a half-breed, she made me feel like there was nothing wrong with me. The way she stood up for me at that stupid meeting. So yes, I love her. It's just not in the way that you think. I admire her. She is a good person. You're lucky to have her. So, stop thinking she'd ever step out on you. Plus, even if it isn't me. I am sure there are plenty of men and women. Demon or human will make eyes at your wife. I mean look at her, but when that time does come, take it as a compliment."

I relaxed into the chair.

"You do not want to be with her."

"Sesshomaru, she is yours; completely. It does not matter who wants her. There isn't a person alive who can take her from you."

I exhaled. "Alright then," I said holding out my hand to him. "Brother."

He smiled. "Brother? Hell must have frozen over, but a handshake? Really?"

"I will not hug you if that is what you are waiting for."

He smirked. "We can work up to it."

He took my hand and shook it.

"What now?" he asked. "With you and me I mean."

"We take things one step at a time. As for right now, I am sure my mate is waiting for me. However, there seems to be someone who wants to speak to you."

"Someone wants to talk to me?"

I nodded. "You can stop hiding mother."

He nodded. "You can stop hiding now Mother."

The door was pushed open, and there she was; Rin tailed in behind her. I had never seen Sesshomaru's mother before. She looked the same as Sesshomaru, just in woman form and a lot less angry. She came walking in sitting at the table. Rin ran onto the balcony eating her snacks, watching the dragons in the sky.

"Your mate is waiting for you."

She wanted it to be just us. Why? Just what did she have to say to me?

Sesshomaru said nothing. He just stood up left the room, and closed the door behind him. She watched him walk out of the room. I could see the sad look on her face.

"If you want to talk to your son, you should just go after him and do it."

She gave me a sad smile. "He does not wish to speak to me. Unfortunately, I was not the best mother to him that I should have been."

"Well, Is there something I can help you with lady?"

She folded her hands, propping them up on her elbows. She rested her chin on her hands.

"I am curious is all."

"About?"

"About the child that Izayoi left behind."

What the hell?

"Why do you know my mother's name?

She smiled. "You are still as impolite as ever I see."

"You talk as if you know me and, you still didn't answer my question."

"I would not say I know you boy, but I have met you. A handful of times."

I shook my head. "We have never met."

"We have. You just do not remember me. You were so small back then then. Just as rude back then too. Then again, that is something you've inherited from your father. It seems that is not the only thing you have inherited from him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It is not good to lie." she'd said.

"You calling me a liar?"

She smiled. "I am. You love that woman; his woman."

Crap.

"I can understand why. She is quite beautiful. From our short conversation, she seems to be very intelligent. She protects her family. Sesshomaru would not have chosen anyone not deserving."

" I-"

"You love her," she repeated. "Sesshomaru does not want it to be true. It is possibly why he chose to believe you. Or, possibly you hid it from him well enough, by telling him half-truths. However, I know better than that. I know what someone looks like when they love someone they cannot have."

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I didn't mean to fall for her," I said quietly.

She gave me a small smile.

"No one can choose who they fall for. You cannot throw a rock in the water and determine how it ripples."

I looked up at her.

"Are you going to tell Sesshomaru?"

"Why would I do such a thing? You love the woman, but you want your brother enough to ignore your feelings. You care about my son. I will not ruin your relationship with your brother before it has a chance to begin."

"Why are you being so nice? Don't you hate me and my mother?"

She smiled. "What reason would I have to hate either of you?"

"My father left you for her and had me. Wasn't that embarrassing for you? Or at least didn't it hurt your feelings?"

She leaned back in the chair smiling.

"Yes. He hurt me deeply, but what does that have to do with a woman who did not know I existed? He lied to her and she had no reason not to believe him. It would be foolish, of me to hate her for falling in love with a man. She did nothing wrong. It was your father who was to blame."

"So... you were never terrible to her or anything like that?"

She smiled. "Of course not. I would be lying If I said there was no bitterness in my heart, but as all things do it passed. After your father died, you and your mother lived a very comfortable life until her passing, correct?"

I nodded. "How'd you know that?"

"It was I who provided this comfortable life. I could not leave you two to fend for yourselves. That would be cruel, and I was never cruel. We'd both just lost the man we loved. I understood. It was a very complicated situation; embarrassment aside."

"Thank you," I said.

"Whatever for?"

"For not telling him. Or her for that matter."

"It is not my secret to tell. However, do your best to hide it better is all."

"How do I do that? My eyes ... they just go to wherever she is."

She smiled, getting up from the table. "Come along now little human," she said to Rin. "You will be fine. This is only puppy love after all," she said walking away.

Puppy love?