Autumn had come in the humble settlement of Ordon. The air was growing colder by the day, the Sun peaked lower and fell faster, the green grass was overtaken by browned leaves. It was a season that was, among other things, associated with harvesting and the rewards for a long year of labor. As such, the village would hold an annual feast with the excess crops in honor of the gods.
Everyone in Ordon looked forward to the event like a kid on Christmas; it was to be a whole day of food and fun with the family with the troublesome thoughts of work left far behind. The host, Mayor Bo, would always initiate the feast by leading the community in prayer and performing the ritual sacrifice of a goat. This had so long been a tradition that many grew to believe that a plague would come upon the village if this rite was not performed to the letter. With this in mind, Ordon would one day find itself on the brink of a potential crisis.
A small crowd had gathered outside of Mayor Bo's house, awaiting news of what was occurring within. Within a week of the upcoming festival, their mayor had been bedridden to a severe sickness; luckily, a doctor from the city was able to arrive and try to determine just how serious this affliction was.
"I heard he's growing a second head." Said Talo, a young rambunctious boy.
"It's a turbotumor, he'll be dead in a matter of hours." Replied Malo, a talking baby.
There were more suggestions being passed around, all of which being equally ignorant and as dumb as one would expect from a bunch of Hyrulean farmers, but that was until someone decided to add a little bit of knowledge to the mix. This so educated fellow would be the aforementioned doctor, stepping outside to announce the diagnosis.
"I have determined that Mayor Bo has been infected with Dopeyguts." The old practitioner concluded.
The villagers were skeptical. The dopeyguts were usually a rather benign sickness, the symptoms which mostly being stomach aches and diarrhea that would often subside within a few days.
"Umm... Is there something else eatin' him?" A tall muscular man named Fado asked.
The doctor fixed his glasses, offering further insight.
"The mayor's body is taking longer than usual to fight off the sickness, likely due to his age and weight." He elaborated "He must stay well hydrated and refrain from physically demanding activity. That is all."
With that, the hunchbacked gremlin of a doctor shuffled on his way back to his office in Castle Town. With the checkup finished, the townsfolk began murmuring to one another again, unsatisfied with the simplistic answer to Mayor Bo's ailment. Others were fearful that the gods would not suffer such an excuse as illness if the banquet was not performed in a proper manner.
"I will send the bill for my services. It will be two thousand and twenty four rupees." The elderly healer called back, having clearly made the number up on the spot.
"You're crazy!" A woman named Sera accused "I bet you're not even a real doctor."
"Oh no, thank you for your help." Another named Uli added.
The doctor huffed and waddled away, leaving the Ordonians to stew in their superstition.
Inside the house, Mayor Bo himself did not seem overly worried by the diagnosis, nor was his daughter Ilia; they knew that he was only suffering from a slightly more severe version of a common sickness. In fact, they more concerned that Bo would need some time to recover before being able to run the town properly.
"Do you really think this can take a week?" Ilia asked her father.
Bo merely chuckled in response.
"Oh, I'm sure you can all manage things here just fine while I'm down."
He seemed to be right; Ordon was a small and safe town that mostly ran itself, with the position of mayor usually being needed in times of emergency. They did not require much in terms of supervision. The only issue was the upcoming holiday, for which Bo was liable to miss out on. With the announcement of the illness being far worse than expected, this had the potential to become a serious problem. They may have been able to keep a cool head under most circumstances, but fear of the supernatural had a fine way of dissolving even the most calm and orderly of situations.
"Maybe I should go out and calm everyone down." Ilia suggested.
Once she exited the house, the citizens of Ordon were already beginning to return to their business after mostly deciding amongst themselves to trust what the doctor said; they could only hope that a 'few days' weren't a few too many. Ilia was not a very good speaker, (and not one to read the room very well either) so when she stepped onto the porch, she lost control of her own voice the moment she started speaking.
"We've got nothing to worry about! He'll be up and around in no time!" She abruptly barked into the crowd.
Suddenly, they all stopped talking, mainly because of how startled they were by Ilia's disproportionately loud tone; she was yelling as though she was trying to dissuade an angry mob. The working men took this as their signal to just get back to their jobs, but the younger ones still needed this refreshing break from their homework. It took a moment, but soon the silence was broken once again.
"That's what they said last time!" Talo shouted. "And then Mayor Jenkins got killed by one of those plant-people monsters!"
At first the entire crowd looked to Talo in confusion, but the boy seemed entirely unfazed by the accusation. He pointed towards one of the higher ledges, looking somewhat amused by his own antics.
"You guys didn't see this happen, I swear." He reassured the crowd "But don't worry, there's plenty of evidence."
He began pointing at various trees that stood nearby, looking for any proof that a dreaded tree spirit resided somewhere within the forest. There was one particular tree in the area which seemed to get his point across perfectly.
"Look! Look what that tree is doing!" Talo exclaimed excitedly, pointing to an innocent sapling that just happened to be swaying in the wind.
"That's enough out of you, Talo." His mother scolded.
Talo frowned, muttering "Just sayin'." to himself as he walked away.
"Ahem! In any case..." Ilia began again, this time minding her volume. "Umm... sorry, in any case, let's make sure we give him the peace and rest he needs. If you have any problems, I'll be happy to to take them until he's back on his feet."
She offered them all her best smile, hoping that it was convincing enough to persuade them to believe that everything was going to be alright. All it did, however, was ensure that this impromptu meeting dragged on longer than expected.
"And just what gives you the right to do that?"
Suddenly, like out of some corny storybook, Link rode into the scene on Epona's back, instantly captivating the previously disinterested rabble. Ilia wasn't as impressed, since she had seen him hiding behind a tree for the last half hour, waiting for the moment to make his entrance.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Ilia you naughty girl." He said, wagging his finger. "Assuming power, just because your father is the mayor!"
Ilia rolled her eyes in annoyance. Link was on medical leave from the Hyrulean Royal Guard after having his legs broken in the war against the Bulblins, thus he was staying in Ordon for the last few months. She thought that his experiences would be more humbling in nature, but it seemed that Link had only progressed from an overgrown five year old to an overgrown six year old.
"You see, my friends..." Link began. "In civilized society, we have a system known as the order of succession! Simply put, if the mayor becomes unable to fulfill his duties, his deputy will assume his place until such time that he is fully recovered. As the fall banquet looms over us, our best chance is to be prepared for the worst and decide now who shall be the next mayor!"
Everyone nodded sagely, feeling confident that Link had surely struck gold.
"And I suppose you nominate yourself?" Malo asked.
Link touched his chest, pretending to be surprised by Malo's suggestions.
"Hoh! Why I... Well if that's the will of the people, then who would I be to refuse?"
Ilia groaned. Link obviously has too much time on his hands since he lied to the generals about how long it would take for his legs to heal.
"Now hold on!" She said. "Who said you get to parade in here and tell us what to do! If you wanna be the next mayor, people have to vote for you first!"
"Well if course they will later!" Link explained. "Who else will they vote for?"
"M-me!"
Everyone gasped in surprise at Ilia's outburst, things were definitely getting good. Link stood was silent for a moment, but regained his smug attitude.
"Ilia, Ilia, Ilia..." He tutted. "You really shouldn't go saying such things in public, you'll just embarrass yourself."
"Well I think you'd be a terrible mayor. All ever you do is goof off and act like a jerk." Ilia argued.
"Is that a challenge, then?"
"You bet it is!" Ilia concluded.
"You heard it first, folks!" Talo announced. "Link vs. Ilia!"
The people clapped and cheered, amused that their next election would be like some celebrity death match. Ilia, however, seemed to immediately lose her nerve once the reality of what she'd done kicked in.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Said Link. "And now, for my first act as your candidate, I brought a little something I've prepared..."
Link reached into his cloak and produced a thick document. On it, was written 'WHY I WOULD MAKE AN EXCELLENT MAYOR'. Before anyone had time to question it, Link began reading aloud, causing everyone to stop talking and turn towards him in awe. He began listing a plethora of absurd promises and outrageous plans for the future of Ordon, as well as stating the many reasons why he deserved to become the new mayor.
By the time he got to a policy regarding free beer and burritos for all working men, Ilia decided she'd heard enough and returned to her house to check on her father. She felt like she made a huge mistake, putting herself on the spot and openly challenging Link.
Ilia felt like such a fool that she chose to stay with her father for the remainder of the night; with hope, everyone would be so enamoured with Link's speech that they'd forget she was there. When she entered Bo's bedroom, she found him awake and eating a bowl of soup.
"How are you feeling, Dad?"
The old man looked exhausted, though he did not appear to be quite as sick as before. Still, he was clearly on a slow road to recovery and wasn't going to be out of bed for a while.
"It's alright, Ilia." He replied. "There's no rush."
She sat beside him, noticing how grim he looked as he ate.
"Have you thought about who should replace you?" She asked.
Bo looked at her quizzically.
"Hmm? Why ask?"
"Well," Said Ilia. "Link and a I got into a bit of a fight about that just now. He wants to be the next mayor, and I... Well..."
"You got carried away and challenged him?" Bo surmised.
Ilia nodded, earning a frown from her father. While she was capable of great things when she set her mind to it, Bo had to admit that his daughter wasn't the brightest of girls. The administrative tasks required of a mayor weren't particularly taxing, but they were nonetheless very important. No doubt, Ilia would grow frustrated by the restrictions she would find herself placed under, and as her father, he knew better than anyone how she behaved when placed under too much pressure.
"What should I do then?" Ilia asked.
"Well..." Bo began as he sat up. "What do you want to do? You think you have what it takes for politics?"
Ilia was too flustered to respond, staring blankly at her lap. She could hardly imagine herself taking on such a responsibility, especially considering the chaos that came along with the job. But at the same time, she felt as though something was calling her to the position. There were dozens of townsfolk who depended on the leadership of the mayor, as well as their own individual lives. She didn't know whether or not she was qualified for the role, but she had grown close to many of the people of Ordon, and if anything ever happened to them, she wanted to make sure they were taken care of.
"Dad?" She asked tentatively.
"What is it?" Bo replied.
"I wanna do it, but... I just don't think I can win."
Bo shrugged.
"You'll never know unless you try."
While Ilia felt content with Bo's words, deep down, she felt that he wasn't taking this as seriously as she. This was no easy task. Not only would she have to get the support of the entire town, but also face the inevitable competition from a person she considered to be a friend. But regardless of all these factors, Ilia couldn't help but feel that something was telling her to give it a shot.
"I guess you're right, dad." She decided. "If I fail, at least I tried!"
"And if you win, you won't need me anymore!" Bo jested, teasing his daughter for always needing his advice.
"Oh stop it, dad!" Ilia giggled, giving him a punch in the arm.
Ilia continued to sit by her father's side, enjoying the brief peace and quiet. She hoped that Link wouldn't come back anytime soon, as this respite was just what the doctor ordered. Unfortunately, the peace would be interrupted when Bo began chocking on a carrot.
"Oof, that went down rough," He grunted. "Go grab me some wine, would you?"
"I'll get you some water, no alcohol until you're better." Ilia ordered as she departed to the kitchen. As she scooped a cup into a basin, she nearly dropped it when the front door burst open.
"YO BO!" Called Link as he swaggered his way to the bedroom.
"Oh, for... Not now, Link!" Ilia growled as she marched in after him.
Just as soon as she caught up with the green-clad bigshot, Ilia saw a combination of disgust and anger spread across his face when he saw what she was holding.
"Are you CRAZY!" Link shouted as he slapped the cup of water from her hand. "That's no way to treat your father while he's down. Wait here, I'll show you..."
Just as suddenly as he arrived, Link walked out of the room and disappeared into the cellar. Ilia looked to her father in confusion, but Bo remained calm, as if anticipating what would happen next. Finally, Link returned with a new cup and a bottle of wine.
"Take notes, Ilia, this is the juice that gets a man back in the game." Said Link.
"Mmh, mmh!" Bo grunted an agreement.
Ilia rolled her eyes as her father downed the glass and Link helped himself to the remainder of the bottle.
"What do you want, Link?" She huffed.
Link raised his finger, signalling her to wait until he'd finished inhaling the contents of the container. Finally, with a loud belch, Link leaned back against the wall, completely satisfied. He wiped the back of his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt.
"Well?" Ilia prompted.
"First of all, I just stopped on by the see if your pop is still doing alright-"
"He's doing fine." Ilia interjected.
"And secondly, I'd like to have a chat with you in private, if you don't mind." Link added, dropping his cavalier tone.
Link turned and headed out to the den without another word. Ilia followed him there and watched as he poured himself yet more wine. With two glasses in hand, Link approached Ilia and offered her the other.
"So what's up?" Ilia asked, taking the glass.
"I'm not blind, Ilia," He began. "I understand that you're probably on your period or something; you got mad at me for no reason and made a hasty decision."
Ilia was dumbfounded by Link's summation of their prior argument; she couldn't even begin with how terrible he was at making pre campaign negotiations.
"I haven't forgotten that you saved my life back on Lake Hylia." Link continued. "We're decorated heroes, you and I, it's no pedestal anyone should be knocked down from."
Ilia continued eyeing Link and shrugged, as if to say 'get on with it.'
"The point is, I don't want to make a fool of you, not after all you've been through in the past." Link reasoned. "So here's the lifeline I'm offering you: drop out now, and I'll make sure this is all forgotten."
Ilia took a moment to chew on what was just put on the table; Link certainly had a lot of guts coming out so strongly and demanding such a thing. She wanted to slap him and call him all kinds of names, not only for this idiotic proposition, but for all of his recent behavior. She missed the kind and polite Link that opened doors for her and listened to her troubles.
But this man, whoever it was that was wearing Link's skin, had gone from being her hero to someone with his head stuck so far up his own ass that only air was coming out.
"Are you scared you can't beat me?" Ilia sniped.
"I'm afraid of what might happen to us." Link confessed. "We might be playing petty politics, but it's still a cutthroat game. You're too good for it, Ilia, you're nice, you wouldn't hurt a fly; you don't have bones to do what it takes when things get personal. And believe me, they will get personal... I don't want that between us."
Ilia scoffed. As if there was anything left between them that could even be salvaged. Maybe she would have fallen for a bit like that a few years ago, but it was clear that she wasn't speaking to her old teenage sweetheart anymore. She finished her wine and walked towards the stairs.
"I think we're done here. See you on the trail." She concluded as she ascended to her room.
Link watched her leave and shook his head, staring down into his empty wineglass. It was unfortunate that things were playing out such a way. Beneath everything that accumulated in his soul, he still cared deeply for Ilia and wished there was a way he could smooth things over between them. But it was obvious that Ilia wasn't ready to forgive and forget, nor did she seem willing to compromise.
"Game on, then." He sighed as he grabbed a handful of crackers.
"G'oh!"
One of the salted snacks took a rough ride down, irritating his throat greatly.
"Dang it!" He wheezed. "Where's the water! I need some water..."