Saturday 17th October 1981

Marauder Flat, 10:30

Sirius leaned back on the sofa (now very beat up looking after all these years and a permanently sticky toddler) and rubbed a hand over his face. He was tired. Very tired. Bone tired. Exhausted.

There was just... there was just so much going on. Too much. And sure, some of it was good. Of course, it was. But most of it was bad. Bad and depressing and dark and... yeah. Too much.

All this chatter at work. All the reports coming in. Something was coming. He knew it. Moody knew it. Just none of them knew what it was. And that was terrifying.

But it was put of his control and he knew that je, just like everyone else, was just going to have to wait and see what happened and then react accordingly. Was it the best plan? No. Of course it wasn't. But it was all they could do right now.

Then there was the whole James and Lily still being in hiding. Which, of course, was closely related to the first thing. Sirius honestly thought that they would have come out from hiding months ago. But no, that's not how was worked. Especially one that he was slowly becoming aware of the fact that they were losing. Merlin, he knew things weren't going well for them but Sirius was seriously starting to realise that they might not win this. They might not come out the other side.

Sure, the thought had always been there, niggling at the back of his head, but he had never really believed it. Because of course the Light would win. Light always won. Didn't it? It had to. But it wasn't, was it? He didn't like having these thoughts. Didn't want to have these thoughts. But it was almost impossible to avoid them.

All there was was death. Death and destruction and pain and falling apart. Sirius felt like he was starting to fall apart.

The Potters. The Prewitts. The Evans'. The Mc... The McKinnons. And how many more in between them? Too many. Too many. Everything was falling apart and falling apart fast. And Sirius didn't even know how to go about sticking it all back together again.

He couldn't talk to Remus; Remus had barely been here in recent months. The man barely had any idea what was going on, never mind the nuances of it. The perils of being an Order Member and an Auror. There really was such a thing as too much information. And Sirius didn't like it.

He wanted to talk to Remus, he really did. He was a fellow Marauder, after all. And he got him. He always had. Remus always understood. Remus was always good to talk to, to try and sort things out. Because he was a problem solved. But this, this feeling he had? Sirius knew that he couldn't bring it up with Remus. He wouldn't get it. He wouldn't.

Those missions of his, although useful to the Order as a whole made him less than useful right now. Was that a horrible thing to say because he felt like that was a horrible thing to say.

The awful thing was that it was true. If Remus wasn't here then you couldn't talk to him. And even when he was here, he had this haunted look in his eyes that Sirius hated seeing and wanted to fix. But to fix it they would have to talk and that seemed beyond them at this moment in time.

And he supposed he had Peter. But, well, he was Peter. Sirius felt awful for even thinking it but you couldn't really talk to Peter. Not about stuff like this anyway, he got freaked out and then you had to calm him down which got you absolutely nowhere with what you wanted to talk about in the first place.

Peter was really skittish these days too. More so than usual. Not that Sirius blamed him. They were all a bit like that. But he would have to see if he could make time and make sure Peter was okay. Calm him down a bit. It was the least he could do. James normally did stuff like that- he was good at it too - but Sirius could give it a go. Hopefully.

Sirius sighed and banged his head against his headboard. James. He wanted James. James would just get him. There would be no need for any long explanations (explanations he couldn't really put into words anyway) or trying to push him. There would just be help. Non-judgmental help. And teasing. A lot of teasing. Merlin, be missed James. Normal James, that was. Because of course he saw James. Though not since Dumbledore stressed that the Potters should even more severely cut themselves off from the outside world. Which he understood was necessary but that didn't make him feel any better. And if Dumbledore was saying something like that then what exactly was going on? Something was definitely coming and it wasn't anything good. In fact, it was almost definitely going to be something very, very bad. And Dumbledore wasn't talking about it.

And Sirius needed to talk about it with someone. Someone other than Marlene because they both just fed off each other's negative energy and that wasn't good for either of them. That and Marlene really didn't need anything else negative right now.

James. He needed James, in case that wasn't obvious. Was it bad to need someone this much that wasn't your wife or partner? Sirius didn't know. What he did know was that he needed James.

But he couldn't have James, could he? No, he couldn't. Which wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

Tonks' Home 13:00

Remus curled his arm just that bit tighter around Dora. They were on the sofa (the only thing that wasn't still in a box of some sort in the living area) just being together. They hadn't set up the TV and they weren't talking or anything. They were just here. Together. Peacefully. Comfortable. Relaxed.

It was a nice cha he after the last few days. Things had calmed down. Perhaps not forgotten but definitely calmed down. There was no shouting and they were actually enjoying being around each other.

They probably should be using this time to be productive and actually finish off unpacking this room. It was the only one left to do. But they weren't. And neither of them were suggesting it. And he certainly wasn't about to. It was nice, just sitting here, being together in the silence. Teddy had gone down for a nap and was out for the count. That boy slept hard. Something that they were both eternally grateful for.

"I am sorry for..." Remus trailed off.

He knew that she knew what he was talking about. And should be really be bringing up a very obviously sore point when they were comfortable and relaxed? Probably not but he still felt guilty.

She sighed heavily. "It's okay."

But it wasn't really. They both knew it.

"It's not though, is it?" He pressed her gently.

"I suppose not," she shrugged. "I guess I understand is more accurate."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Because at one point he didn't think she did. Not really. He couldn't just share things with her. Not when it came to the missions he went on. They were too vague, too up in the air.

"I'm still mad."

"Okay."

She did have a right to be. Even if it was a bit exasperating. But if it was the other way around Remus supposed that he would be just as angry.

"Good."

Even when she was mad that little huff of hers was still adorable.

"Why don't we just focus on the here and now?" He suggested. "Do the things we can control."

Dora stayed quiet for a short while. Well, it was short in hindsight but at the time felt awfully long.

"That sounds like a good idea," she said eventually, much to his relief.

They sat in silence for a while longer, which somehow felt even more comfortable now.

"I guess that means that we should probably finish unpacking," Dora broke the silence with a sigh, gesturing at the boxes still in the room.

Though, in their defence, a lot of them were empty and the living area was just where they were storing them all. In hindsight, they had magic so they probably should have just shrunk them or something. It would have given them more space.

Remus groaned. He hated unpacking. Hated it. Hated it. Hated it. It was like it was never ending and then once you got everything out you had to find places for them. You did, despite what Dora seemed to think. You could not just leave things sitting on the floor until you decided where you were going to put them. That just added to the clutter. You had to already have somewhere in mind.

Yeah, could you guess what most of their arguments stemmed from? And then you had Teddy thrown into the mix who loved rummaging through open boxes and taking things and putting them wherever toddlers put things. He still hadn't found his coot of Canterbury Tales. Merlin knows where Teddy had hidden that.

"Come on," Dora urged, standing up.

His arms felt cold now that she had apparently been bit by the cleaning bug. He frowned but obeyed. They may as well get it finished. He looked around the room. It really wasn't that much.

A half an hour later determined that it actually was more than they thought. Mainly because they couldn't agree on things. Important things.

"Remus, we aren't getting a b9okshelf that fills the entire wall."

"Oh, come on!"

"No."

"But it would help with-"

"No, Remus."

"You're being unreasonable."

Dora snorted. "That's rich, coming from you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

But she just waved him off. Probably for the best.

"There's no room," she said instead.

"It's not like were using that wall for anything."

Godric's Hollow, 14:00

"When all this is over, I want to redecorate," Lily said suddenly.

James blinked slowly as he processed what she had just said. He had almost been dozing off in his armchair. And no, it wasn't because he was getting old or anything. Rylli had decided that last night nothing was going to suit her. And when nothing suited her, she screamed. Not cried. Screamed. And then Harry cried in sympathy. It had not been a fun night. And now he was tired.

"Huh?" He asked as the fog cleared from his brain and he yawned.

"It's just that, all we've seen is the inside of this house. Where nothing ever changes."

"Unless Harry wants to redecorate," James interrupted, pointing at their son.

Their son who had decided to paint the kitchen wall with tiny, gravy handprints at dinner yesterday. There were still faint marks he noticed. Mainly these little splatters that they missed because apparently gravy could get everywhere.

Lily shook her head at that but gave a small smile. Harry had looked so proud of himself while doing it. James didn't know whether to look forward to the day when Rylli would inevitably join him in mischief or dread it. Dread was probably the more reasonable response. One toddler caused plenty of chaos, who knew how much two could manage between them? But that was in the future. At the moment Rylli was a sweetheart who cooed and slept and barely even cried. Except for last night, of course but everyone had their bad days. She was even starting to get these little wispy curls at the back of her head.

"What do you think?" Lily asked, bringing them back on topic.

"Redecorate?" James asked and then nodded, warming up to the idea. "I think it's a great idea."

"Really?" Lily's face brightened.

"Yeah. It would be a great way to celebrate freedom. Well, that and actually spending a few nights out of this house."

"We're definitely going on holiday when this is over," she agreed.

"There's a house in Spain that we own. We could go there."

James remembered many a summer being spent there. He always loved it and he knew that he would love sharing it with his family. The idea of his children playing in the warm and brought a smile to his face.

"I've never been to Spain."

"Well, that's one thing settled."

She beamed at him.

"And we can plan out what we want to do to the house," she said eagerly.

"Think there's anything in that Argos catalogue?" James asked, ever curious about it.

Sunday 18th October 1981

Unknown Location, 19:00

"It's not like he brings anything useful."

"I don't understand why he's even here."

"Why does the Dark Lord even want him?"

"Do we even know his actual name? That stupid nickname is, well, stupid."

"Did you hear his voice?"

"Trembling. He was actually trembling."

"He is amusing to watch, is he not?"

"I just find him a bit pathetic, that's all."

"Seriously, his voice. I did not know that a grown man could squeak like that."

Peter had frozen outside of the room and heard every word. Every single one of them. Which was a lot of words. Is that what they thought of him? Pathetic? Squeaky? Useless? Stupid? And no one had come to his defence. Not one. Was he not supposed to belong here? This was supposed to be his place in the world. People shouldn't be acting like this towards him. He was better than this. Far better. And they were being arseholes.

He snorted at that. Oh, how he wished he could have said that to their faces. That would be glorious. But he couldn't. Wouldn't. Mainly because he knew it was a bad idea to antagonise people like this. They knew an awful lot of dark magic, after all.

So, he couldn't do that. There was something he could do, however. Just for fun.

He pushed open the door and immediately everyone fell silent. Real subtle. Peter rolled his eyes. Honestly, and these were meant to be a bunch of Slytherins? Yeah, right.

"Wormtail," someone said in a disapproving tone.

Peter just nodded. What was he supposed to do in a situation like this? Confront them? Ignore them? Did they even think that he'd overheard them?

"Did you want to say something to me?" He asked quietly, trying to make himself sound dangerous.

"Not particularly," one of them sneered.

He wasn't sure who because their good was still up. Something the Dark Lord insisted on these days.

"But I think you did." His annoyance emboldened him. "Something about how I'm useless?"

There was silence as this was absorbed by his little audience.

"It's not like you have ever brought anything useful with you." Carrow growled, punching a fist into his palm, looking quite threatening.

And he knew it was Carrow because no one else acted like that.

Peter knew that he definitely wouldn't come off the best in a physical fight and Carrow looked like the type of person who would enjoy getting physical. Peter didn't want to discover what that felt like.

"Everyone else brings matters of most importance to the Dark Lord," Rosier said with a sniff and a sneer. "What do you bring? Paperwork?"

"I bring important information," he said quietly and cursing his voice.

He wanted to sound strong and in control, not pathetic and weak.

"Of course, you do."

Furious, absolutely furious, he spun on his heel and stormed right out. He could feel fire rushing through his veins as he strode confidently through the corridors. He had never done that before. Anywhere. But now was the time. He walked and walked, making sure to walk in the middle of the corridors making everyone else jump out of his way. It would have been very satisfying to witness if he had actually been paying attention. He had to think

Was it stupid of him to storm out over such a little comment? Probably. But it was the straw that broke the camel's back and he wasn't going to put up with it anymore. He was going to show them all.

But he had to be sensible about this. One didn't just burst in on the Dark Lord. Even if you did have important things to tell him. There were proper ways of doing this.

"Enter."

"My Lord?" Peter greeted, going to the middle of the room and prostrating himself in front of him.

"Rise," came the hissing voice after several long beats of silence.

He could have sworn that he was made to have his nose to the floor an awful lot longer than some other people. The Dark Lord's mouth curled into a smirk before turning into a bored expression.

"What is of such importance that you disturbed me?"

Peter gulped. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Wormtail."

He couldn't help but jump at that. Couldn't he give him a chance to think? He was coming with important information; he should at least be allowed to organise his thoughts! No one ever gave him time. Well, now they would after this. They would give him all the time in the world.

"What is it that it so important that you tell me?" The question was hissed again.

But this time Peter didn't feel quite so intimidated. He looked up, actually looked the Dark Lord in the eye, a triumphant expression on his face.

"I know where the Potters are hiding."

He'd show them that he could bring useful information. The most useful information. Ha!

Wouldn't any of those idiots out there like to know something like this? But they didn't, did they? No, they didn't. He did. Ha!