Part 2 Chapter 2

Aiko

His first night without her

The slug on her lap shuddered and made a soft cry, her voice small. "Oh. My Mistress has gone"

She didn't need to tell them. The agonized wail that could only have come from Kakashi could be heard from across the apartment. Genma tightened his grip on her, leaning in closer and pulling her hand up to his chest.

Aiko's heart broke as she listened to Kakashi. It wasn't fair. How could Hana—Sakura—just be gone? "Oh… Kakashi." Her free hand flew to cover her mouth, stifling a sob. "Oh no…"

"The baby will need tending to, Miss. But, perhaps give them a few minutes. Oh dear… poor things."

Squeezing Genma's hand, Aiko tried to get control of herself. She sniffled and wiped at her face, swallowing hard. "Okay." Genma sat up, meeting her gaze as she took several slow breaths. "Okay. I can do that." She tried to think. What did they need? "Hana… um. I mean, Sakura? She told me recently that she had everything they needed."

Reflecting on the conversation now, it seemed intentional. Like her friend had needed her to know specifics. Where she had put the bottles, the formula, nappies… it had been couched in a cheerful explanation of all the 'nesting' she'd been doing, but now…

"There are clean bottles and formula in the kitchen, in the cabinet above the rice cooker. Little…" She forced a harsh breath past the emotions threatening to make her cry again. Hana… Sakura had taken so much care with everything. "Little outfits in the dresser in their room, and nappies and wipes in there too. In a basket near the bed. Genma."

He sat up, waiting for orders. "What do you need?"

Damn. This was not the right time for this at all. Leaning over, Aiko pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before standing, setting the slug back on the couch. "When we get home—" They would have one home now. He'd asked her to move in. Right. This was not the time for big emotional realizations. "We need to talk. Okay?"

A fond smile lit his handsome face. "Sure thing, babe. What do you need me to do until then?"

She nodded. "Right. Go to the Hokage. If she was a clone, then… there won't be a… a body?"

She stumbled over the words and looked down at Katsuyu for confirmation. The slug seemed to nod. "I don't know what to do about that. There will need to be arrangements made, and surely he won't want to… Oh." Beginning to feel overwhelmed, Aiko pressed her hands to her face.

"I can do that." He stood and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her hands back from her face. "I'll talk to the Hokage and sort all of that out. You stay here and help Kakashi. Stay the night, however long they need you, yeah? I'll be back in a few hours."

With a heavy sigh, she relaxed against him. One thing at a time.

"They're going to be okay, Aiko."

She sniffled. This was all so sad. It wasn't fair. "I hope you're right."

"I am." Dropping a quick kiss to her cheek, he left to do what she'd asked.

"Okay. Katsuyu, was she able to feed him at all?"

The slug waved her eyes. "Yes. But I imagine he will need to eat again soon. Will you have any further need for me?"

Aiko shook her head. "I don't think so. Thank you for all of your help."

"Goodbye, Miss." And with a poof, the small slug was gone.

KSK

Genma

The Hokage was in his private residence that evening, entertaining his son for dinner. When Genma was ushered in, Asuma waved from where he sat beside his father. Whatever friendly greeting he'd opened his mouth to share died on his lips when he saw the look on Genma's face.

"Lord Third." He greeted a grim-looking Hokage.

"Ah. Good evening Genma."

"Forgive me for interrupting, Hokage-sama. The matter is urgent."

"Hm." He stood, clapping a hand on his son's shoulder. "I expect I will see you tomorrow, Asuma. Thank you for dinner." The younger man nodded, glancing anxiously at Genma as the Hokage waved him on to his office.

Once they were alone, the Hokage slumped into his chair and steepled his fingers. "This is about Kakashi's wife, I presume?"

Genma nodded, not at all surprised that the Hokage seemed to be expecting him. "Yes. Their son was born a little less than an hour ago. Aiko and I were there for dinner. Hana…" He frowned. "Sakura?" When the Hokage only nodded once, he decided to continue. He had many questions, but he supposed he should report first. "Her seal activated and she summoned a slug, Katsuyu. They determined the baby needed to come right then. Aiko preformed the surgery and we left them alone after that." Kakashi's heartbroken cry when she disappeared echoed in his head. He didn't need to tell him about that. "Katsuya informed us when she was gone. Approximately fifteen minutes ago, her body—which was somehow a clone, according to the slug—failed. I didn't see what happened and I haven't asked, but she's gone. There is no body."

The Hokage leaned his forehead against his hands and sighed. "How are they?"

"He's just lost his wife, sir. I didn't exactly feel the need to interrogate him about how he was feeling."

"As you'd expect, then. And the infant?"

Genma sighed, shifting his weight. "Aiko said he was healthy. She's there now, helping get him cleaned up and… whatever else a baby needs."

"Very good." With another heavy sigh, the Hokage sat back in his chair and looked out a window. "A clone. Hmm. How much do you know?"

"Not much. Hana isn't her real name and she's somehow from twelve years in the future. Also, it seemed clear to me that Kakashi was expecting what happened. I was hoping you would fill in the rest."

"There isn't much else to fill in." The tired old man shrugged. "Two years ago, she appeared out of thin air in Kakashi's bed, and tonight she seems to have gone the same way she came. I am surprised you seem to think he knew this was coming." He scratched his chin, continuing before Genma could ask anything. "She was kidnapped on a mission and our theory is that her kidnappers used an experimental time manipulation jutsu on her, sending her back to us. A clone?"

"Uh, yes. That's what the slug said. She appeared in his bed?" Genma was incredulous. How had it taken him so long to sleep with her? Clearly, they were supposed to be together.

The Hokage managed a short, humorless laugh. "Yes. Their relationship seems to be the entire point of her time here, though I have no idea what that means for whatever jutsu was used. If her body was a clone, perhaps it was some kind of variation of a forbidden soul manipulation technique. It seems likely to me then, that her proper body will wake up wherever it is in the future."

That was something, at least. "Twelve years is a long time, Hokage-sama."

"Kakashi will endure, I am confident of that. And, if Sakura's memories prove out, raise a fine young man too."

Genma might not have heard any of Sakura's memories of the future, but he agreed with the Hokage. "That's what I thought too." Kakashi would be okay, like he'd told Aiko. But there were immediate things to deal with. "Do you have a plan for handling her disappearance?"

"I have, yes. In the morning I will come with Asamida-sama, her superior at the hospital. We will have a shadow clone act as a body. We will say she died in childbirth. There will be a funeral in a few days. I will arrange it myself. That should be enough to obscure the truth and give some closure to everyone else."

Relieved that everything would be taken care of for Kakashi, Genma nodded. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage, still looking out the window, nodded too. "Whenever he is ready to come back to work, it won't be in ANBU. As he was your captain, will this affect your desire to remain in the black ops?"

Genma had already given this a bit of thought. Of course Kakashi wouldn't be in ANBU: he had a child now. It was strange enough that he'd stayed in as long as he had, with a pregnant wife. He had truthfully only stayed in the black ops so long because of Kakashi. Naturally, he would follow his captain. Besides, a step down in danger and length of missions would be nice. More time to spend with Aiko.

"I would like to be released from ANBU as well, Hokage-sama."

"Very well. You may have the rest of the week too. I will decide on your next assignment by then."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama."

He merely waved him off. "I'll see you in the morning."

KSK

Aiko

One thing at a time. She could grieve for her friend later. Right now, Kakashi and their sweet little boy needed her.

Listening at the bedroom door, Aiko determined the initial horror must have worn off enough that she felt comfortable intruding. Filling the baby bath with a few inches of warm water and grabbing the little blue cloths Sakura had bought to wash her son, she knocked on the door and went in.

It took all of her remaining self control not to burst into tears again. Kakashi was lying in the middle of the bed where Sakura had been, as he quietly sobbed into the sheets. His body was curled around Kazuki, holding him close against his chest as the infant fussed and squirmed.

"Kakashi?"

He flinched, looking around as if confused for a moment before his eyes landed on her. Recognizing her, he dropped his head back to the bed.

"Kakashi, can I take Kazuki?"

Before she had a chance to explain, he was looking at her again—mistrust in his eyes as his hold on the baby tightened. Oh.

"I'm not going to take him from you, Kakashi, I promise. But he needs a proper bath and a nappy." Relief filled her as he relaxed, understanding what she meant. "Is there a particular outfit you'd like him to wear?"

Scrubbing a hand across his face, he shook his head, voice raw and soft. "No. Anything is fine."

She set the bath down on the floor where he'd be able to see and gathered the other things she needed. A nappy from the basket on the bedside table Sakura had lovingly packed, and a set of little footed pajamas with puppies all over and a blanket from the dresser she'd chosen, and set them on the bed.

"There, ready?"

He nodded again, sitting up and passing her the baby. As she cuddled him close and sat down beside the tub, Kakashi drew his legs up and rested his cheek on his knees, watching her closely.

"Okay little guy, let's get all clean, yeah?" He started fussing as soon as she unwrapped the towel and the cool air hit his skin. From the corner of her eye, she could see Kakashi tense at the sound. Moving quickly, she transferred him to the bath, the warm water soothing him almost immediately. "There, that's better isn't it?"

Wanting to get him back to Kakashi quickly, Aiko worked efficiently, cleaning off all remaining blood and the black tar first poop from his little bum. Chuckling to herself as she washed him, she glanced up at Kakashi. "Are you particularly attached to that towel? It might be difficult to get clean."

A very small, barely there smile tilted the corner of his mouth and it suddenly struck Aiko that he wasn't wearing his mask. Hm. No wonder he wore it all the time. Easier than beating away women with a stick.

"No. I hadn't even noticed." His brows scrunched and he tipped his head to the side. "Is it supposed to look like that?"

Aiko smiled. "At first, yeah." The silence stretched, weighing down on them, increasingly oppressive. Just as she was beginning to feel the need to say something, anything, Kakashi spoke into the stillness.

"Sak…" His voice cracked. "Sakura said that he—that babies are like puppies." The uncharacteristic tremor in his voice tore at Aiko's heart. Kakashi wasn't supposed to sound so broken. She hoped he was strong enough to survive this. Genma thought so. Hana—no… Sakura—must have believed so too. Forcing a smile, she looked up at Kakashi, hoping he would continue. "They can't see very well, but they know you by your scent."

Aiko nodded, focusing on the wriggling infant she was trying to clean. "That's right. And, if he's like you that'll be doubly true, I bet. Genma mentioned you have an abnormal sense of smell." He was watching Kazuki carefully, the barely-there smile back again. "Fitting that you work with dogs." She thought for a moment. "It would be good for you to do skin-to-skin with him too. It helps release bonding hormones."

He sighed, rubbing the side of his face against a knee. "Yeah… She said something like that."

Baby clean, she bundled him in a clean towel and moved to sit on the end of the bed, telling Kakashi what she was doing as she did it. "Before I get him dressed, I need to do a more thorough health check. He probably won't like it but I'll be quick, okay?"

Kakashi nodded, his eyes still never leaving Kazuki.

She had been right. He hated it. Apparently the room was much too cold for his liking. Finally, he was dressed and wrapped up in a blanket and back in Kakashi's arms. It seemed to Aiko that the little boy knew who his Daddy was already, settling almost immediately when she'd handed him over. Definitely his Daddy's sense of smell, then.

For a few long moments, he stared down at his son, sorrow and exhaustion painted all over his face. "What am I supposed to do with him, Aiko?"

Sighing and blinking back tears, Aiko could only shrug. "Just, do the best you can everyday. Feed him, change him… My mom always said with little boys, the first few years you're just keeping them alive." She chuckled softly, imagining all the trouble a little boy with Kakashi's famous intelligence and Sakura's natural chakra control could get into if he figured it out too early. "But most importantly, you love him, Kakashi."

KSK

Kakashi

Day three without her

It was a cold, rainy spring morning. Kakashi hadn't wanted to leave Kazuki. But Aiko worried he'd catch something in the rain. They'd only be gone an hour. Genma could manage for that long.

Still, Kakashi was counting the minutes until he could go home. He didn't want to be around people. He didn't want to be away from Kazuki. He didn't want to be at a fake funeral for his wife. She wasn't dead.

She wasn't.

His all blacks—something he'd worn many times—itched uncomfortably. It felt wrong to wear them. Standing in front of a new headstone, just a few feet down from his parents', Kakashi wished they didn't have to put on this show.

The Hokage was saying a few words. Then the old woman that ran the hospital. She knew the truth now too. They both did. Somehow that made it all worse.

There were more people there than he'd have thought, just like at their marriage ceremony. Quite a few young medics whose names he didn't know stood behind a quietly crying Aiko. Former students, apparently. The handful of friends they shared, Gai, Tenzō, Kurenai, Asuma, were all there too. He hated lying to them.

The worst were her parents. Kizashi had been so happy to meet her, to have more family. And now she was gone. He'd noticed him quietly dab at his eyes more than once, accepting a tissue from Hatsue who stood beside them. His wife looked… deeply affected. It was strange. So far as she knew, Hana was just her husband's cousin that she'd only met a handful of times. But as he watched her rub at her chest, a vaguely confused look on her face, Kakashi thought some part of her might know who she really was to her.

He would have to lie to them too.

Turning back to the podium where the Hokage was speaking again, Kakashi hoped he would be able to leave without having to talk to anyone.

Standing alone in front of her headstone, thankfully his reputation and probably the general aura kept most people away. Gai stood beside him for a moment, clapping a hand on his shoulder and saying something about how he could call on him if he ever needed anything before he left. Tenzō didn't say anything, but he'd stood beside him for a while in silence too.

"Kakashi, we're so… well. If you need anything at all… you or the baby, we're here for you, alright?" Mebuki patted his shoulder, the little confused frown still on her face.

As they walked away too, Kakashi wished he could tell them the truth. He wished he could reassure them. Tell them she wasn't dead, that she was coming back to them someday.

But he couldn't.

Finally he was alone but for Aiko, standing a polite distance away until he was ready to leave. He stared down at the stone. Hatake Hana. It wasn't even her real name. Well, part of it was, he supposed. But she wasn't there. Not really.

The sudden realization that he would have to lie to their own son struck him suddenly, like a kunai to the chest. He wouldn't understand why he couldn't tell everyone his Mommy was coming back, and truthfully, Kakashi didn't want to fill his head with hope.

There was always the chance that whatever jutsu had sent her back had killed her.

He wiped his eyes. Kazuki would want to know about his mother. Kakashi had when he still had a father to ask. There hadn't been many pictures of his mother. There weren't many of Sakura, either. He would have to keep up the lie, bring his son here every year, probably more often. It would hurt to pretend like she was dead. It had only been three days and Kakashi was already clinging desperately to the hope that he'd see her again.

He needed to get out of there. He wanted to hold his son in the safety of their apartment.

With a final glance at the polished stone, he turned and headed home.

KSK

Kakashi

Day seven without her

Kakashi stared blankly at the bathroom wall. Aiko and Genma had come over, taken Kazuki and forced him into the bathroom saying something about a naming ceremony. It was the first time he'd bathed since…

He had sat, mindlessly going through the motions as he washed his hair and shaved. Then he sat in the tub as it filled, watching the water rush from the faucet. Now, as steam rose around him, he wondered what he was supposed to do next.

A memory came, unbidden and sweet—he hated sweets—of the first time they had used this bath. It was shortly after they'd moved in. Sakura had dragged him down the hall, distracting him from unpacking with lingering kisses and a slow strip tease. By the time they got to the bathroom, she was completely naked, Kakashi barely still in his pants. The tub was already full and steamy as she'd pressed herself against him and whispered a new fantasy and exactly how she wanted him to make it a reality.

Their new soaking tub was just wide enough.

Afterwards she'd relaxed against his chest and they'd lazily debated the merits of the different decor options she was considering, and what they should do the next day.

He didn't know when he'd started crying. But once it started, he couldn't stop. He missed her so damn much. When he fed their son, when he cried himself to sleep at night, even here in their tub.

Kakashi had chosen her, chosen their relationship knowing he was going to lose her, knowing he was going to be raising their son alone. But it hurt so much more than he could have imagined to lose her.

Eventually, there was a light knock at the door. The bath water was tepid and Kakashi had long since stopped crying. He must have been in there a while.

"Kakashi, are you alive in there?"

He grunted in response.

"Aiko has dinner ready and Kazuki seems to be happy. If you… if you're done… I know you probably don't feel like doing this today but, Aiko seems to think it's important and that you'll regret not doing it later. Ya know…" Genma sighed on the other side of the door. "Seems kind of silly to me but… well."

Would Sakura care? Doing the whole naming ceremony seemed pointless. He had a name. It wasn't like his grandparents could be there… or his mother. But… maybe she'd be upset with him someday if they didn't do this. "Yeah… alright. Give me a minute to get dressed."

Five minutes later, Kakashi was sitting at his table. Clean-shaven and dressed in fresh clothes, he was surprised to find that he felt a little better. Aiko had prepared red rice and brought a simmered sea bream from Hatsue that smelled amazing. But Kakashi didn't want to eat any of it. He wasn't hungry. Instead, he held his son and fed him while his friends ate.

Aiko, apparently a little fed up, set her chopsticks down and rounded the table. "Look, I know you're sad—" Understatement of the year, "—and probably tired. But you have to eat. I know you haven't been. The fridge looks almost exactly the same as it did four days ago and when I talked to your landlady she said you haven't left the apartment since the…" The more she'd talked, the more worked up she had gotten. But her voice caught on the words she was trying to say so she paused, wiping her eyes and clearing her throat. "You have to take care of yourself, Kakashi. You can't take care of him if you do something so stupid as starve yourself to—."

"Aiko—" Genma cut her off, not looking up from his food.

She glared back at him but crossed her arms and sighed. "You're going to eat, just a little. And then you're going to fill out Kazuki's meimeisho. Because it's important, and… maybe someday—" She frowned and shook her head. "Someday you'll be glad you have it." She nodded as if her word was law, and turned around to fix him a portion of food, setting it in front of him before going back to her seat.

Frowning down at Kazuki, Kakashi knew she was right. She was right about all of it, even if it did annoy him that she'd been asking the landlady about him. He hadn't really been eating. Between Aiko and the rest of his friends, there were plenty of meals in his fridge. He'd hardly touched them.

But he had made a promise. He wouldn't leave their son. He would always be there for him.

He wasn't starving himself on purpose, he just… hadn't felt like eating. With a heavy sigh, Kakashi ate the food she'd put in front of him. Once he started eating, he found that he was actually hungry, so he ate a little more.

Once the dishes were cleared away, Aiko set a calligraphy set and a blank meimeisho in front of him. "Here, let me see his foot."

Huffing, a little amused at her bossy tone, Kakashi managed to get one of Kazuki's feet free from his blanket.

"Oh it's so tiny! His little foot." She grinned as she gently held it in one hand. "This might tickle, Kazuki-chan." With an abundance of care, she pressed his foot on a stamp pad, covering it in black ink. "Okay Kakashi, press his foot there."

He did as she indicated, revealing a perfect copy of Kazuki's little foot. As she took him from him to get him cleaned up while he finished, Kakashi stared down at it and decided she was right: this would be something Sakura would care about. Kazuki might even care someday too.

As he picked up the brush to write his son's name, he hoped Sakura would approve of his calligraphy skill.