Part 2 Chapter 11

Kakashi

Day three-thousand seventy-four without her

Kakashi was exhausted. He was going to war… again. This time, he'd somehow managed to get himself named commander of an entire division of allied forces.

Worse, after one particularly frustrating war council meeting, Tsunade had mentioned naming him her successor after the war was over. That was still apparently a thing. He didn't want that. At least not until… Not until his son had graduated the Academy. Surely she could be put off that long.

It wasn't the first time his name had been floated for Hokage, so he wasn't surprised that he was Tsunade's first choice. He had been ready to accept the last time, but if there was no immediate need, Kakashi was in no hurry.

For all of his faults and baggage, Kakashi knew he was—unfortunately—qualified. He was an extremely intelligent, competent, skilled shinobi. He may have had a temporary crisis of confidence when Kazuki was a baby, but eventually he'd remembered what he was capable of.

Kakashi did not like to think about the man—or the shinobi—he would be if he hadn't had his son to give him purpose. He had been his reason for living, for pushing himself and training when he otherwise might not have seen the point. He'd made Kakashi a better shinobi, a better man.

But none of that meant he wanted to be Hokage. All he wanted was to live with his son, and, in a little more than three years, get his wife back. Maybe have a few more kids if she was up for it. Being Hokage sounded like more work than he wanted to deal with.

For now though, he had a war to survive. He didn't think he would be getting another second chance like he had when Pain brought him back to life.

Letting himself into their apartment, Kakashi called out for his son. "I'm home."

Kazuki, along with several of his ninken, burst through the door to the main room and into the hall. "Dad! You're back!" He ran down the hall, bowling into him. "Hatsue-san sent me home with dinner. Are you hungry?"

Sighing, Kakashi tugged down his mask and smiled at his son. "Sure am." He ruffled his spiky pink hair and let him tug him back to the kitchen. "What did you do today?"

Kazuki launched into a retelling of his day. His class had spent the day organizing medical supplies for the upcoming war effort. Sakura had been there, giving orders and double checking everything. Somehow, as busy as she was, she had found the time to make rakugan for the students that were helping. He wondered if she was sleeping. With everything that was going on, and the ever lingering worry about Sasuke, he wouldn't be surprised if she was lying awake at night as much as he was.

Kazuki excitedly offered Kakashi one of the sweets that she had sent home for him. He looked down at the delicate sugar crane with the same nostalgic smile they always elicited. He really didn't like them, but they always took him right back to some of his favorite memories.

"Everyone in my class is so jealous that Sakura-chan is my Onee-chan and that she makes me sweets all the time." Kazuki dug into the food containers as he carried on. "And she's almost as good a healer as the Hokage, and scary strong. She said when I graduate she'll teach me how she does that! Isn't that great, Dad?"

Kakashi hummed his approval around a mouth full of sugar. Sometimes he wondered what Kazuki would think if he knew Sakura was his mother. He had often imagined her teaching their son the powerful jutsu she had learned from Tsunade. If she came back to them, he had no doubt that she would. "You'll surpass me before long, son."

He laughed and dug into his food. "Believe it!"

That made Kakashi laugh. He'd spent too much time with Naruto, apparently. They ate, and Kazuki talked more about his day, occasionally tossing bits of fish to the ninken lying on the floor around them. Kakashi listened quietly, desperately hoping the war wouldn't last long. He would miss this.

"So… Dad?"

"Hm?" Kakashi patted his full stomach, leaning back in his chair.

"When do you have to leave? I asked Onee-chan, but she didn't know." He dropped his eyes, staring a little too hard into his food.

Kakashi sighed and turned slightly, holding out his hand. Kazuki immediately slid from his chair and ran around the table, throwing his arms around Kakashi. "The end of the week."

His skinny arms tightened around his neck. "You're gonna come back this time, right, Dad?"

As he hugged his son, Kakashi thought back to the many times he almost hadn't come home. How many times had he come back late or broken? And this time would be so much worse. He had no idea how long he would be gone. The last war had lasted years. This time, serving as a commander, he would likely be gone until it ended.

But he still had three years left before Sakura went back in time. Even when he had died, through a miracle of jutsu, he'd come back to life. After that experience, he was more confident than ever in Sakura's memories. He still had his Sharingan, after all. Part of him thought he'd be coming home this time without it.

He would survive the war, he thought with sudden conviction. He would. "Yes, I will, Kazuki. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I'll come home."

Kazuki nodded against his shoulder but his voice still sounded small. "You promise?"

"I promised your mother I wouldn't ever leave you, Kazuki. The first and only time she held you in her arms, she made me promise. I don't know how long this war will last, or what is going to happen, but I promise I'll come home."

Kakashi could feel dampness on his shirt, but Kazuki sniffled hard and pulled back. "Okay, Dad. I'll be waiting.

KSK

Day three-thousand eighty-two without her

Kakashi sat, legs hanging over the edge of Hokage rock and cigarette dangling from his lips, watching the sun set over the village. The first thing he'd done when he had gotten home was to find his son. After all the fighting, almost dying more than once—unthinkingly almost sacrificing himself for Sasuke—Sasuke—and abandoning his own son—he missed him as if he'd been gone for years.

The war, which miraculously lasted only two days, had felt like a kind of emotional cataclysm for him. It somehow felt like years. Obito had been alive the entire time. That realization, at first devastating, and then healing in a way he hadn't realized he'd needed, had been like a whirlwind in his heart. He wished there had been some way for him to have been saved, for him to come home. But in the end, Kakashi was thankful to have repaired their relationship and parted as friends.

Now Obito was with Rin at last, as he'd always wanted. Kakashi found himself immensely thankful that his friend had selfishly wanted to be alone with her. It was at least part of the reason he'd saved him from dying for Sasuke at the last second. Sure he'd spouted some sentimental nonsense about leading the next generation before reminding him that he had a son to get home to—but Kakashi knew he really just didn't want a depressed third wheel in the afterlife.

Reuniting with Obito, and losing his Sharingan, had also made him realize something else. Sakura had known about the pain Kakashi carried because of how things ended with Obito, and the guilt over what had happened to Rin. She'd known how it weighed on him every day. She'd experienced his nightmares and held him while he'd cried over it.

And yet, she hadn't told him. She hadn't told him that Obito was alive. For the first time, he felt truly betrayed by her decision to keep things to herself. And what was worse, she wasn't there to be upset with. She couldn't apologize and explain why she'd done it, why she had found it so damned important to keep this from him.

Now he had to sit with his feelings and think it through on his own. He hated being angry with her. Their relationship had been mostly easy, fights few and far between. But this was different. This hurt. He wanted to yell at her, to ask why. But he couldn't because she'd left him.

It wasn't fair to be mad at her for that. He knew that, and he remembered the conversation they'd had after the Uchiha massacre. He remembered how scared she was to change major things. At the time, he'd understood. But this felt different. This trauma was so central to who he was. Surely it could have been handled differently, better. Surely she should have told him. At least warned him, explained how things went and why they couldn't be changed.

"Kaka-sensei! There you are."

Irritated at the interruption, Kakashi didn't move to acknowledge Naruto as he flopped down beside him.

"I just came from having dinner with Sakura-chan and Kazuki-chan." He sniffed, leaning back on his hand. "Man, Sakura-chan's mom is a good cook. All the women in that family must be good at that."

Not caring to hear about the particulars of Naruto's meal, Kakashi sighed and gave him a bored look as he stamped out his cigarette. "Did you come all the way up here just to tell me that?"

Naruto scoffed. "What? No, of course not." He laughed nervously, scratching at his cheek. "Actually, I was curious about something."

When he didn't say anything else for far too long, Kakashi glared at him. "What?"

"Oh. Well… I was just thinking about how amazing it was that Sakura-chan managed to complete Tsunade's seal." More nervous laughter. "It's pretty impressive, don't you think, sensei?"

"Yeah." It really was, and when he'd realized she'd done it, he had been so proud of her. But at the moment, he only felt more unjust irritation with her. He had even less cause to be upset with that younger version of Sakura.

"Hana-san had it too, didn't she?"

Another annoyed sigh. "Yep. She sure did."

"Hm. I guess Sakura-chan and Hana-san are pretty alike, huh?"

"Yep."

Later, Kakashi would blame emotional distress for not noticing the subtle change in Naruto's tone and walking right into what happened next.

"Almost like they're the same person, huh, Kaka-sensei."

"Yep. Exactly like that."

It took him a full thirty seconds to realize what he had said. When he did, his eyes went wide and he looked around at a surprisingly angry looking Naruto. "I… that's not… I mean—"

His former student scoffed and looked out at the village. "I knew it."

"Naruto—"

"I always just thought they looked alike. I mean, I was only eight the last time I saw her, so maybe my memory was just playing tricks on me." He shook his head. "But after everything that happened during the war, all the insane jutsu that should be impossible… I met my dead dad, Kakashi!" He dragged his hand through his hair. "Why the hell not? If the dead could be reanimated with their actual souls attached, and goddesses could be enemies, who's to say time travel is off the table?"

"Naruto…"

"I gotta say, I have a lot of confused feelings about this. You know how I feel about Sakura, how I have since we were kids. But Hana-san… she's the only person that ever came close to being a mother figure to me. I know she wasn't in my life for long, but until recently, when I thought about having a mom, I always pictured her. It's not like I had any pictures of my real mom… What does that mean? Has my whole crush on Sakura been some kind of weird complex?" He groaned uncomfortably and shook his head. "It just feels wrong now."

Unsure what to say, Kakashi tried for the familiar. "Naruto…" His hand was roughly brushed from Naruto's shoulder.

"Don't do that. You don't get to do that right now."

His rebuff hurt, but he wasn't given time to dwell on it.

"You… you lied to me, Kakashi-sensei. You lied to everyone. To your own son! Does anyone know the truth or were you too ashamed to admit you fucked your student—"

Kakashi wasn't sure what was happening anymore, but he was pissed and they were rolling around on the ground throwing punches before Naruto could insult his wife any further. Thanks to Naruto still missing an arm, it didn't take Kakashi long to pin him. "Watch your mouth. You have no idea what you're talking about."

Naruto glared up at him. "Oh yeah? Tell me then! Make it make sense, Kakashi-sensei! Because right now all I have is a confirmed wild hunch and a whole lot of perverse assumptions about you. You've known Sakura since she was eight."

Frustrated, angry, and more than a little bit disgusted by what Naruto was implying, Kakashi gave him a final shove and rolled off of him, lying beside him on the ground. Pressing his palms into his eyes, he sighed. "It's not like that. It was never like that." He shuddered. "The Sakura-chan you know isn't my wife, Naruto. They're practically separate people. I have never looked at her like that." He pulled his hands away and looked over at Naruto, his words harsh but his voice weak. "Fuck you for even thinking I would."

Naruto only huffed. "Okay, so tell me what it was like, then."

"I was only twenty when I met her." He stared up at the stars, remembering. "I'd just gotten home from a mission and wasn't quite asleep yet when she just…" He waved his hands in front of his chest. "Fell out of thin air and into me."

"What?" Naruto rolled onto his side, his half-arm supporting his weight as he stared incredulously down at Kakashi. "She just fell out of the sky and into your bed? You expect me to believe that?"

"It's what happened. After some back and forth, she realized she was in the wrong time and I took her to the Hokage."

"So, the Third knew?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Yeah." He wasn't sure how much he would have to share to make Naruto understand. Hopefully not much. He was still upset with her, and even if he wasn't, he didn't like sharing this part of himself.

Naruto frowned. "How much did she tell you about the future?"

"Almost nothing."

"Did she tell you she'd be your student?"

Kakashi huffed. "That was practically the first thing out of her mouth. She called me sensei when she realized who she'd landed on."

"Then why?" His face had scrunched up in disgust again. Kakashi only rolled his eyes.

"Because we were both twenty and she was beautiful. She fell out of time and into my bed, Naruto. That makes an impression."

He fell back against the ground again, sounding dubious. "I guess. So you fell in love anyway and got married. And then she died." Now it was Naruto that sighed. "I guess she must have known what was going to happen the whole time. That must have been hard for her. Did she tell you?"

"No. But… I guessed most of it. About our son, and that she'd leave us. She'd let too many things drop here and there." He frowned, remembering why he'd been so upset in the first place and feeling it all over again. It made his words come out more bitter than he meant. "She kept everything else to herself. She knew everything and she never told me. She knew what he meant to me and still—" He cut himself off, not meaning or wanting to tell Naruto about this anymore.

"Obito."

Kakashi didn't respond, glaring up at the sky and wishing the blonde menace would let it go. But he knew better.

"Is that why you were sulking up here instead of having dinner with us? Sakura-chan was worried about you, you know? She said you were weird today when she saw you. That's actually why I was looking for you. Well, that and I wanted to ask you about Hana-san."

When Kakashi still didn't respond, frustrated with himself now too for being so obvious, Naruto did as Naruto always had and kept talking. "I get why you're upset. That's a pretty big secret to keep. I guess she was trying not to change the future. Things barely worked out as it was. It could have been a lot worse." A beat of quiet and then, "Let me ask you this, Sensei: if she had told you he was alive, what would you have done about it?"

Scrubbing his hands across his face again, Kakashi spat out the obvious. "I would have found him. I would have knocked sense into him decades early and brought him home. This whole war only happened because he wanted to be with Rin again, because of what he believed about me. I could have avoided all of this! But no, she had to keep it to herself. Had to have everything happen just the same."

"Hm." Naruto slid his hand behind his head, eyeing Kakashi for a long moment. "I guess we're more alike than I ever knew, Kakashi-sensei."

Something in Kakashi's chest tightened. "What?"

Naruto waved his stub arm in his face. "Sasuke. How many times did we chase him down? How many times have we fought? How many times did I try to make him see sense? Did it ever work?"

Kakashi gaped. He was right. Sasuke had to do things his way, see what he believed was his mission through to the end before Naruto had been able to get through to him. And even in the end, after he had fought alongside them against Madara, it had taken a nearly fatal battle between himself and Naruto before he'd finally let go of his anger and come home.

"The way I see it, he was convinced of his own righteousness and his plan to remake the world. He wouldn't have been able to hear anything you said until it all started to fall apart for him like it did. He had to almost die again, see Madara for who he really was before he came around. Maybe Sakura didn't want you to get yourself killed chasing after him like we chased after Sasuke. Because, no offense, Sensei…" He gave Kakashi a vaguely condescending look. "If you had gone up against him by yourself back then—and probably at least three other Akatsuki members at the same time—that's exactly what would have happened."

Kakashi scoffed, but he knew he was right. He knew his own limitations perfectly well, and while he'd gone toe to toe with more than one Akatsuki, having to deal with more than one of them at a time and Obito… it would have ended with him dead. Knowing everything he did now, it had been a four man group of Akatsuki responsible for his two week stay in a cave when Kazuki was three.

Besides keeping him from killing himself, Sakura had ensured they would win the war. Who knew what other consequences there would have been if he had provoked Madara and Akatsuki years early. Without his matured team seven, they would have been destroyed. They might not have been so strong together either, but there was no way to know for sure.

Ultimately, Sakura had done what she believed was right. He remembered how bad she had felt about keeping Itachi's perceived betrayal from him. This had probably been yet another thing that ate at her while they were together.

"And if you died, who would have looked after Kazuki? Would he have even been born or would you have run off right away, all reckless and emotional like I always did?"

Kakashi sighed. "You're right, Naruto. She was right to keep this from me."

Naruto chuckled. "She usually is." He sighed too. "I'm sorry for getting so mad, Kakashi-sensei. I shouldn't have said what I did. I know you better than that. And… I'm sorry she died, too. I know how much you loved her… Watching her grow up, knowing who she would be and what was going to happen… must have been hard for you."

"Yeah…"

They lay there staring up at the sky in silence for a while before Naruto spoke again. "You told me once that, if things had been different, she would have brought me home to live with you. Was that true?"

"It was." He rolled his head to the side to look at him. "Do you remember the day she got you that bento?"

"The frog one? Oh yeah! I used that forever. I think I still have it somewhere…" A blush crept up his face so deep Kakashi could see it in the dark before he threw his arm over his face. "She helped me wash my hair. I was naked, Sensei! I've seen Sakura-chan in a damp towel and she's seen me naked!" He groaned. "How embarrassing."

Kakashi snorted. "You were barely seven. Kazuki and I still bathe together. I promise she didn't think twice about it. You didn't think anything of it then either."

"Yeah, but I was just a kid. I didn't know her like I do now. Why did you bring that up anyway?"

"I didn't. You remembered the bathing. I asked about the bento."

Naruto grumbled under his breath. "Fine. What about that day?"

Sighing, the amusement fading as he realized that Naruto's childhood, too, was still another thing Sakura had not allowed herself to change. Having watched them grow up together, knowing how much she loved him, Kakashi could now more fully appreciate how much that must have hurt her. Just like Itachi, just like Obito, and the war, and everything else… How had she ever managed to be happy in the past at all?

"When we got home that day she told me she wished we could adopt you. She hated the way the village deals with shinobi orphans. I was only five when my father died, and I left to fend for myself. Sasuke lived alone in the Uchiha compound, where he'd witnessed his brother kill his parents. But you, Naruto, you never had anyone. It broke her heart to think about you all alone."

Beside him, Naruto sniffled suspiciously. "I guess she couldn't change my life too much either."

"No." Kakashi elbowed him lightly in the side. "Our experiences shape us, Naruto, the good and the bad. She knew you needed to be exactly who you are to do all of the amazing things you've done. Your compassion, your desire to help others and ability to understand their pain, your complete inability to ever give up… How much of that is a reflection of your childhood?"

"Probably a lot, I guess."

"She really loves you, you know that?"

"Yeah…" He sighed, scrubbing his hand across his eyes. "Damn. I feel all mixed up about how I feel about Sakura-chan now, but she means a lot to me, Sensei. She meant a lot to me. But she's gonna disappear soon. I wish I could tell her. I wish I could thank her."

Tapping a finger on his chest, Kakashi decided he could trust him with the rest. He already knew most of the truth: why not tell him everything? Who knew how difficult it would be to save her from the men that had kidnapped her. He might need help. "Naruto, I'm going to tell you something, but I need you to promise me you won't tell my son. No one actually, about any of this. But especially not Kazuki."

A/N Here we are! Trucking right along. I skipped the war because it was so long and honestly so stupid. There was so much that was just... freaking dumb. Also, is it a little stupid for Kakashi to blame himself for the war? Yes. like girl its not all about you. I know Madera would have worked something out anyway. But he's mad and in his feelings so let him have that one.