Sweet Agony
A/N: The events of this story take place between chapter 42-44 of Star Wars: Fallen Hero. A bit mature here, so be warned for all of the younger readers out there.
DG
This could either be the start of a man's greatest dream, or a nightmare.
Fenn Shadowstone could not say which at that moment, he had just walked into his quarters in Survivor Base. It was not too late in the evening, not yet, so he couldn't say how others might react if he decided to do the smart thing and flee back into the corridor.
Falling back and regrouping might be a good idea, but at the same time…
He looked down at the floor, trying to be respectful, though even that was a difficult thing at that moment.
Thought it was dark in his quarters, the low lighting did allow him to see everything, and…when he said everything, he meant everything.
That thought might have been amusing, had this situation…well…not had the chance of blowing up into something that…well…something he had no real idea what the consequences might be.
In that moment, he was grateful for his Jedi training, and the lessons passed down to him on the shores of Ambria by his Jedi Master, Jas Dar Bynn.
"Um…he…hello there," he said, his eyes not rising from the floor, well…mostly anyway.
"Hello, Fenn," came a husky sounding female voice out of the shadows.
"I was wondering when you might return," it continued, "I…I hope this isn't being…too forward.
He almost laughed at that.
Forward?
That…well…that was…a bit of an understatement.
Things had definitely gone a teensy bit more forward than they had a few hours ago. Part of him wondered how he had gotten to this moment, if he could have done something different?
Though, he had probably started these events in motion months ago, when he had first reached out a helping hand to someone in pain, someone who HAD needed his help…
Someone…who had been in agony.
The events of today had been totally innocent, he thought.
It had all begun…with a duel.
IOI
Five hours earlier:
He fights like a damn battle droid!
Fenn brought up his lightsaber, parrying strike after strike, horizontal, vertical, and horizontal again.
His aqua blue blade met each strike from his opponents golden one. The Rodian continued to hammer his defenses. His strikes were simplistic, but driven with a sense of precision and skill that went beyond organic norms.
Not that that should have come as any surprise, he thought with a shake of his head.
Master Onno was no longer, technically, a fully organic being.
Onnothone'Sui, had first met the Survivors almost twenty years ago, in the latter years of the Great Galactic War. Back when Fenn had still been studying at the Jedi Temple. The padawan learner of Jedi Master So-Fe, the two had been trapped behind enemy lines, their shuttle having been shot down by the Sith military.
The Survivors had been sent in to recover them. The two had had intelligence desperately needed by the Republic at that time. Important enough that the militia group was sent into the very teeth of the Sith advance.
So-Fe had died in the crash, leaving his padawan alone on the surface of a hostile world. When the Survivors arrived, they had expected to be coming to the rescue of a scared young Jedi, instead, they had walked into a trap. General Gnar, their old adversary, had been in charge of the world's defenses, and suspected that Jas Dar Bynn and his allies would be the ones used to extract the Jedi survivors.
The General had sprung his trap, but had been surprised yet again. He, like the Survivors, had underestimated the skill of Onnothone'Sui.
The fighting on the planet had left thousand of damaged or destroyed battle droids on the surface, most left to rust in the muck. Onno, as his friend's knew him, was something of a savant when it came to droids. Building and servicing droids had been his choice of moving meditation as a youngling. The Force enhancing both his skill, and drawing on his curiosity. The young Rodian had always had more of a rapport with them than he had had with living breathing people.
When the Sith had sprung their trap, Onno had come to THEIR rescue. A full attack squad of repaired and reactivated Sith and Republic battle droids descended on the Sith forces, at their head, the young Rodian, his yellow-bladed lightsaber flashing.
Onno was knighted by the council for his actions that day, and he remained a friend and ally of the Survivors for the rest of the conflict. After the Treaty of Coruscant, he had spent two years servicing the droids that remained in the Jedi's service. His memory enhancements improving the service of many of the ancient architect droids that had served the order for a millennia. After that, he had chosen to go out into the galaxy. Always travelling in the company of a crew of droids. His best friends, friends that he had made himself, he liked to joke.
To all who had known him, the Rodian was a hero. He had risen to the rank of Jedi Watchman, protecting a small star system near the new border with Sith space.
No one had doubted Onno strength and courage, but he had suffered greatly in the last few years. It had begun with a distress call by the Jedi serving on the planet Rabann.
Onno had responded arriving too late to render any aid. The planet Rabann had been beyond help hours before he had ever could have come.
The Rodian had felt the rending in the Force, he had howled in pain as his ship emerged from hyperspace, the very Force boiling with what was taking place on the planet's surface.
The Jedi on Rabann had tried to offer aid, but were torn from the Force by the effects of a lethal virus, a bio weapon conceived by the mad Sith Lord Darth Terrog. Known to the Sith as the Fydon Virus, it caused radical cell mutation in non-Force sensitives, and deadened the Force in those that could feel it.
The infected Jedi on the surface had chosen suicide rather than risk infecting anyone else. Onno had tried to talk them out of it, but they insisted, they were cut off from the Force, about to be torn to pieces by mutated citizens of their world, people they had called friends.
Onno had not been able to save them, to save anyone.
He contacted the council, but had been unable to escape. He found himself ambushed by a small Sith task force; a group sent by Terrog to monitor the death of Rabann.
Onno had been brought aboard their ship, and ended up in a duel with Terrog's apprentice, a massive mutated Sith Cyborg, a creature that Fenn would meet later, coming to know the creature as Fehl.
The former fiancé of Avaryss, Fenn's dream friend.
The Rodian had not escaped the Sith, during their duel, Fehl had injected Onno with what the council had first believed to be a vaccine for the Fydon virus, proof that Terrog could protect those that surrendered to him from its Force destroying effects.
Onno had sickened, and fell into unconsciousness, he woke two days later on his ship, tended to by his own droids. The Sith had let him go, let him go back to the council, to tell them about what Terrog had done on Rabann.
It was the events of that day that made Onno the cyborg he was today.
He cut again at Fenn's legs, backing him up with a flurry of strikes. Fenn countered with a series of blows, but could not manage to stop his fellow Jedi's advance. Onno's rhythm was flawless.
It was amazing, really, he thought to himself.
The Rodian was a master when it came to Form One lightsaber combat. Fenn had first learned Shii Cho as a youngling, it was the first form that the order introduced a young initiate to, the simplest of forms, but after that, most Jedi graduated to one of the more advanced forms. Form One was supposed to be only a starting point.
In the hands of a master, like Onno, it was a far different animal all together.
The Rodian's every move flowed together like a stream, his blade and body moving with the Force in perfect synch. Whether that was because of the cyborg enhancements or the Rodian's strength and belief in the Force, Fenn couldn't tell.
All he could do was fall back.
Fall back, and hope for a mistake.
A mistake that was not likely to happen.
Fenn broke away, forced out of the dueling circle by Onno's unrelenting attack.
He came down on his knees and lowered his blade in surrender.
"Not bad, master," he said with a smile, regaining his feet.
"I couldn't even touch you today."
The Rodian powered down his own blade, he stared into the distance for a few minutes, the lights on the metallic cyborg-wrap around the back of his head flashing, processing the data from the last few moments.
Finally the Rodian's eyes brightened. His lips curling into what might have been called a smile.
"You fought well today, Fenn. I estimate a less than fifty percent chance that you would have overcome my attacks, had you managed to escape my strike box, I might have been in trouble."
Fenn chuckled.
Only fifty?
The master was being generous.
He couldn't help but wonder what the master had been like before his conversion. Even after the Battle of the Inferno Nebula, the fight that had ended Darth Terrog's threat. Onno had chosen to remain apart from the order, fearing that Terrog's vaccine might have some unforeseen side effects. He had built a whole new suite of medical droids to watch him, and evaluate his condition.
It had been they that had first diagnosed Onno's condition, much to the Rodian's horror.
The vaccine Fehl had injected him with was no vaccine at all. It was a powerful retro virus, one that was increasing his body's ability to heal, while at the same time, attacking parts of his brain.
It is a death sentence, he had informed the council, he had less than a year to live.
The Force had no effect on it, Terrog had done his work well. Onno theorized that, after his own examination of the virus, that Terrog had intended to use him as…a herald of sorts after the Republic and Jedi had surrendered to him. He was expected to have surrendered to his new master. Terrog would have then removed parts of the Rodian's brain, making him his servant. Then Onno, along with his Sith counterpart, would have served their new Sith master as his voice, advising his subjects how best to serve Terrog, their new god and ruler.
In other words, Terrog had been insane.
The council had asked Onno to come home, to be around his brothers and sisters in the final months of his life. They wished to ease his passing into the Force. The Rodian had refused, his body was fine, better than ever, he simply had to find a way to stop the mutating of his brain cells.
His final solution was…unique to say the least.
He had had his medical droids operate, replacing the failing parts of his brain with droid components.
Some on the council had been horrified by this decision, but…Onno had not stopped.
It was he that approached Master Jas afterward, he desired to aid the survivors in their attempts to slow the Zakuul advance.
When asked why, he said that he sensed a plot to destroy the Survivors and Jedi. He estimated their survival rate rose to sixty seven percent by his presence.
The arrival of Lennix Gul seemed to give credence to his warning. The survivors were being plotted against.
Master Jas had accepted his old friend's aid, and now, here they were. Fighting to hold things together, until the Republic, Empire, and the other factions of the galaxy could get back on track in driving the Zakuul out of their space.
The fight was not going to be easy, but…as Master Jas had told Fenn many times during his apprenticeship.
Nothing worth doing ever was.
IOI
"Impressive, Master Jedi!"
Onno and Fenn turned to see Darth Agony walking towards them. The young Sith was dressed more casually today, normally favoring a black combat suit. She was currently clad in a black tank top, and long flowing red skirt.
She smiled at the two Jedi.
"I don't think I've ever seen the Shii Cho used in that fashion, most consider it too basic for actual combat."
She nodded respectfully to the Rodian.
"Your skills are to be commended, Master Onno.
The Rodian blinked, the lights on the back of his head flashing again, processing.
"Darth Agony," he said, "Accessing captured Imperial files: given name Taya Dresco, daughter of Ryn Dresco, and Tazia Dresco. File Relating to Tazia Dresco: Former Jedi Padawan: defected to the Sith in…"
Agony stopped him right there.
"Is there a psychological profile as well in those circuits of yours, Master Jedi?
Onno blinked, again, his personality coming to the front.
"Yeah," he hooted, "But I think it is restricted, Republic SIS sealed the file in its continued investigation of Darth Avaryss: Given name…"
"WE know who Avy is, master," Fenn said stopping him from drifting back into his data streams.
"Thank you."
Onno nodded, and shook his head.
"I…I think I need to meditate now. So much data, accessing will take time to sort it all out. Good day to you both, May the Force be with you."
The Rodian bowed and left the two of them alone.
Agony smiled.
"Strange creature," she mused, "Those cybernetics…did he choose to be outfitted with them, or were they result of an injury?"
"He chose them," Fenn informed her, not wishing to go into the full details. If Onno wished their Sith allies to know about what had happened, he would tell them.
It was his right to, after all.
Fenn looked at Agony. She seemed…better than he had seen her in the last few weeks.
He had first approached her months ago, looking for a way into Avy's confidence. He still believed that she was up to something, she had not sought out him and the Survivors without a plan.
He still hoped to turn that plan to their advantage, or convince Avy that she didn't need it, not anymore.
He believed that he could save her. After what had happened on Hutta, he was surer than ever that he had a chance.
As he grew closer to Avy, he had offered a friendly ear to Agony, her best friend, and…if Avy was to be believed, her sometime paramour.
He wasn't sure what to make of that, but his Jedi training had conditioned him not to judge, and he could understand where Avy was coming from.
It was rare to find someone you could trust among the Sith. Temmin's grandfather had taught him as much during their first meeting, back when Fenn had agreed to take the boy as an apprentice.
Plus, Agony was not without her wiles. She was an attractive young woman in the prime of her life. Blonde haired and pale skinned. The only thing that most non Sith would have been put off by was her yellow eyes, or eye in this case.
Agony was still wearing an eye patch; her right eye having been damaged during the battle on Hutta. Healing the damage was taking time. The girl refused any type of Jedi healing.
Agony looked away from him, she seemed, quiet today, apprehensive.
"Is there something I can help you with?" he asked.
She smiled.
"I saw you and the Rodian dueling. If you don't mind, would you consent to crossing blades with me? I've been slow to return to my training regiment, my eye has been affecting my balance and depth perception."
She smiled hungrily.
"I need to see if I haven't lost a step. Would you be willing?"
Fenn grinned.
"Of course, gladly."
Her smiled brightened.
"I was hoping you might say that.
She entered the dueling circle, her skirt swishing around her, giving him brief glimpses of her long shapely legs.
He noticed something that pleased him.
"No new burns," he asked her, "I take that as a good thing?"
She blushed, and nodded.
When Agony had first arrived with the Survivors, she had been hurting herself after every training session, burning her skin with her lightsaber, punishing herself for things that had not been her fault.
Last month, during one of Avy's week-long excursions on the plains with Zay, Fenn had approached Agony, catching her burning herself again.
This time, he had not let it pass.
He had tried to stop her.
She had turned on him, hissing angrily, demanding that he leave.
He…did not do as she asked. He stayed, talking to her, reaching out with the Force.
Her emotions had been wild, on the verge of exploding out of her. She had kept them under control, as long as Avaryss had been there, but with her friend being distracted in training her new apprentice.
Agony had been left behind, without Avaryss to anchor her, she nearly succumbed.
Her emotions, her memories had become toxic, like a poison in her blood.
Through the Force, He could almost see them, the family she had lost. Her husband and daughter. She blamed herself for their end. Believed that had she been there, she could have helped, or…at the very least perished with them.
Fenn had started talking, asking her about them, those she had loved and lost. She had tried to resist, but he pushed forward. It was risky, approaching an armed Sith so close to losing it; falling into her grief and rage.
She had ended up on her knees, tears in eyes, heartsick, her rage threatening to turn in on itself. She knelt before him, begging him to end her.
He didn't draw his weapon; he sank to his knees and wrapped his arms around her. Offering her comfort, and a willing ear.
She sobbed in his arms, screamed against him. He didn't let her go. Avy would not have liked it had she come back and found her friend dead, and…Fenn was a Jedi.
It was his duty to help people.
He was not sure how long they remained there, but finally, she cried herself out, letting go of her rage and pain. She fell asleep in his arms, and he carried her back to the base, and placed her in her bunk. Xen Loor had seen this, but had said nothing.
He passed by his former friend. Once, they had been close, having survived the lower levels of Coruscant together.
Now, he didn't really know her, he wasn't sure if he ever had.
Agony had said nothing to him after that, she had kept her distance, though he was not sure why.
Today, was the first time she had spoken to him.
He took that as a good sign.
He entered the ring, as the two of them began to circle, Agony pulled her double blade, but didn't ignite it, not yet.
"Why did you help me?" she asked him idly twirling the hilt of her weapon.
Fenn shrugged.
"You were in pain."
"That is it?"
Again, he shrugged.
She shook her head.
"Since Ziost, all I have heard from those around me, my mother, my fellows, that I needed to hold onto my rage, that it would make me stronger. When Avy made me a Darth, she advised that I not seek to free myself from it. I needed to hold onto it, she insisted. Yet, it almost destroyed me…"
She ignited her weapon; the twin red beams turned her pale skin pink. The scarlet blades twirled idly before her.
"You baited me that night," she reminded him, "I…I could have snapped. I could have harmed you."
Fenn ignited his weapon.
"I wouldn't have made it easy for you," he reminded her.
"I know," she grinned, her stance becoming more predatory.
She was now stalking her prey.
"You could have let me self-destruct. If you knew what was good for you. You would have."
"That would have hurt Avy, and I don't think you would have wanted that."
Agony paused.
"You are brave, but are you strong?"
She twisted the hilt of her weapon, and it came apart, one blade became two.
She dropped into a fighting stance.
"Let's find out."
She lunged at him.
Fenn took a deep breath and met her attack.
He let himself go into the Force.
What happened next…was…difficult to say.
He had studied the two-handed fighting style; Jar Kai was not unknown to him. His master's brother, Sy Dar Bynn had believed himself a master of it.
Agony's attack, it was no mere sparring session. The blond Sith snarled and attacked him with all her power.
Fenn met her blades and turned them back.
Over the last few years, he had studied Form Five diligently, both Shien, and the Djem So variant. The defense of the former kept her blades at bay. The style was meant to block blaster bolts, but the fast-moving strikes of Agony might have well been blaster bolts.
Djem So gave him the strength he needed to fight back. Every time she backed off, to try to attack at a different angle, he came in full force, hammering her defenses with powerful overhand strikes.
As he struck back, she gave ground. Her moves turned more acrobatic, trying to get around him, he cut her off, and pushed her back where he wanted her.
For the briefest of moments, the action paused.
They were both out of breath, grinning.
"I thought we were just sparring," he said.
"This IS how I spar," she laughed.
"Brave of you," he replied.
She lunged in again. Blue and red collided once more.
Normally, he would have thought she was trying to kill him. She was holding nothing back.
Yet, he felt no rage in her attacks, if anything, he sensed...amusement, and an excitement bordering on…playfulness?
Plays a little rough, this one, he thought.
A grim smile came to his lips.
That was okay.
He liked to play rough, too!
He switched to his knowledge of Soresu, he was no expert, but his understanding of shien helped him grasp the moves of the third form.
She closed in, losing herself to the most aggressive form of Niman he had ever seen, a style bordering on the more aggressive Juyo.
He didn't give her a chance to switch over.
He caught her blade slightly, redirecting away, and moved in striking her wrist, causing her to lose one of her blades.
Agony gasped, but fell back, she switched styled again, this time, like Master Onno using the Shii Cho, high vertical strikes.
He met her blade, and tried to push her back.
She caught him in the chest with a powerful back spin kick.
His Force shield saved him from serious injury, but it gave her the opportunity she needed.
She tried to sweep his legs out from beneath him.
He flipped over her and caught her a glancing blow on the hand, making her yelp.
Her second blade fell from her grasp, before she could pull it back, or call on another. He attacked.
He caught her with a Force push, sending her skidding out of the training circle.
Before she could roll to her feet. He pounced, he found himself straddling her, his blade at her throat.
"I yield," she called out, panting excitedly.
He looked down on her, his blood racing.
He could feel the darkness again, the shadow he had faced with Master Jas at his side.
They had never left, that touch of darkness, but he controlled it. It had no power over him.
He had heard the dark side's promises, he simply, didn't want what it had to offer.
Understanding the darkness, was the first step to denying it.
It was a matter of discipline.
Master Jas taught, that the reason so many Jedi had fallen to the dark side during the Galactic War, was because the order tried to avoid any and all exposure to the temptations of it. They wished the members of the order to remain innocent children.
Yet, an innocent could be broken by tragedy, especially if they had no experience with it.
Fenn had faced his darkness, and he had come to terms.
Agony looked up at him, she was blushing, grinning up at him.
"I yield," she repeated.
He closed down his weapon, and stood, offering her a hand up.
She shook her head no, and flipped to her feet. She pulled her weapons to her, snapping them back into their double-bladed configuration.
Avy is right about you," she purred.
"You are…a warrior."
Fenn bowed respectfully.
"An excellent duel, my lord."
"She bowed in return."
She had walked away, but even still, he could sense the excitement in her.
Fenn watched her go.
He sensed…something was off.
Had…had he missed something, this seemed that it was more than some sparring session.
Later that night, in his room, he found out what.
IOI
He had opened the door to find Agony waiting for him.
She lay in his bed, her shirt and skirt on the floor beside him, her weapons sitting on the desk in the corner.
She shifted slightly, letting the covers fall away from her, revealing only bare skin.
She lay for him to see, wearing nothing but an eyepatch and a smile.
She shifted on the bed, spreading her legs slightly.
He tried very hard not to stare.
He liked to believe himself a gentleman.
"Care to explain what is going on?" he asked, his voice cracking with the first word.
She chuckled.
"My meaning is quite plain, I think. You have defeated me in battle. You met me at full strength and turned my weapons away.
She ran her finger from her chest down between her breast.
"You have earned the right to lay with me, Fenn, and more to the point, I wish you too."
She threw back her hair, and settled into pose that would have made most men weep with desire.
"You came to me, when no one else would. You saved me from my own darkness, helped me find my way back, I control it, once more, it doesn't control me. I offer this, me, as a reward."
He glanced up, looking trying to hold her gaze, but not entirely able to see…well…everything else.
He sighed.
"I don't think Avy would be happy with you, if she saw this.
Agony shrugged.
"Avy and I shared everything once. I love her, as you well know. As do you, I think.
He pursed his lips.
He would neither confirm, nor deny that statement.
Avy, she was a part of him, had been for as long as he could remember.
He didn't think she would like this.
No.
Not one bit.
Agony's expression turned sad.
"I'm not trying to steal you from her, you must understand that. I understand your Jedi Code, the way you resist attachment."
She rose from the bed, and came towards him, her every move suggested seduction, suggested…well…sex.
She put her arms around him.
"Avy could not give me back what I desire most. That desire, turned into a need, and that need nearly destroyed me. Before that moment, before you saved me, I was not ready to move on. Thanks to you, I am, but I must ask one more thing of you. I beg you, Fenn Shadowstone."
"And that is," he asked, she was pressed against him, despite his calm and training, his body was responding to her, the smell of her hair and skin, the warmth of her body.
"Fimm, my husband is dead. Aya, my daughter, is gone. Their spirits devoured by Darth Vitiate. I ask one thing of you, to share this night with me, and another if need be…"
A tear ran down her cheek.
"You are Avy's and she is yours, I will not stand in the way of that, but I ask you this one boon. "
She touched his cheek.
"Stay with me, help me, please…conceive with me."
Fenn gave her an arched look.
A child?
Agony wanted a child.
She hugged him tightly.
"I am not just Sith, but Echani as well. We choose our mates very carefully. We…are warriors. My mother took my father, because he was a warrior in the business world, he made us rich."
She nuzzled against his neck; he shivered gooseflesh breaking out on his arms.
"I don't ask you to abandon your code. I expect no attachment. Though, I also know that is almost impossible. Peace is a lie, there is only passion."
If you do this, grant me this. Your child will be loved, I swear it. He or she will inherit much as an heir of my family. The child will grow up rich, and powerful.
"And the Child will be a Sith," he said.
"Our child will choose if he or she wishes to be Sith. I swear that to you too."
She whimpered as she kissed him on the mouth. He kept his lips closed, but still.
He couldn't deny it.
He…she…
She was pushing all the right buttons.
He put his arms around her, his left hand on her lower back, his right pressed against her breast.
She whimpered her fingers pulling at his shirt.
"Please, Fenn," she begged.
"Please."
His forehead rested on hers, he was breathing heavy now. He…he would be lying if he said he wasn't considering it.
Being here, with her, it would feel very good. He sensed that in every fiber of his being…
…but…he couldn't.
He would not betray, Avy.
He kissed her forehead, and then her cheeks.
A tear ran down her face.
She knew his answer.
He gave her a sad smile.
"I'm sorry, but…I'm not free to do this. I can't."
Agony stepped back; he had expected her anger. Sith were known for their rages.
Yet, it was not anger, or disappointment.
Agony smiled.
"She is lucky, to have you."
He frowned.
"I don't know if I can be, what she wants me to be."
She leaned in and kissed his cheek.
"You can," she said.
"You will."
She said nothing more, but collected her clothes, pulling down her shirt, and wrapping her skirt around herself.
She used the Force to trigger the door, and stepped past him, scooping up her belt and lightsaber as she went.
"This is not over, Master Jedi," she said.
"Avy would say otherwise," he reminded her.
"We'll see," she purred.
"We will just see."
The door closed, leaving him alone.
His heart pounding, his shirt opened in front.
He took a deep breath and let it out, focusing on trying to find his center.
It didn't come.
He cursed under his breath.
This…resisting what he had done. His training had not prepared him for this, but…he had done it.
It had been a pain too.
The sweetest of Agonies.
He had resisted, but still, part of him was kicking himself in that moment.
Fenn told that part of him to just shut up.
He found himself wondering how cold he could make the showers here.
That might help, maybe.
He shook his head, and settled down on the floor, to meditate, to think.
This wasn't over, she said.
That should have scared him, when Avy got back, she…well…he could not guess what she would say.
We'll see, she said.
He sighed.
Well…
…he would be waiting.
Not The End