She sat reading a book under the shade of a birch tree, the wind gently blowing her tight curls as she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye but she didn't acknowledge it. For the last week she had been sleeping in John's tent, while she and Dutch were pleasant with one another publically, it was obvious to the entire gang that something major had happened between them. As neither could look at the other one or say anything more than a few words before going back to avoiding each other entirely. Though no one felt comfortable enough to inquire as to what was wrong between them. Even Trelawny kept his distance from them, preferring to sit back and simply read the unspoken words between them. It was no longer anger but uncertainty with how to resolve the tension between them.

John took every opportunity to be around Annabelle, of course. Resigned to completely ignore Dutch and make sure that the couple continued to stay away from each other. Often putting a hand on his knife any time he caught the older man even looking at her for a moment. His dark eyes said 'I will kill you' even if Dutch simply walked past them and didn't say a word, this young woman was the only mother had ever known, and he would protect her even if it meant tangling with the boss. He was ready and willing to do whatever he needed to in order to prevent him from hurting her again. Even the other gang members would simply wave off any sort of 'does anyone else realize this guy is crazy and manipulative' talk from the boy, citing that they knew the man had a temper and that this was just his nature.

"He's coming this way, bastard. I hate him. I can't stand being around him." John mumbled angrily, sitting up from her lap and putting his hand on his knife. He watched coldly, growling a bit under his breath as he steeled himself for a confrontation.

"Go see if Bessie needs help, John." Annabelle didn't bother looking away from her book and waved her free hand towards the cabin that Eliza and Arthur lived in. He couldn't see that she was frowning while reading. It was sweet of the boy to be fiercely defensive of her, but it was wearing her patience thin. Eventually she and Dutch would have to speak to each other, though any time they caught the other's eyes, it was with a mournful gaze before realizing they were getting overwhelmed by emotions and quietly gave the other party space. Even though it had been a week, neither of them could get over how shitty they felt for losing their tempers that night, but Annabelle felt worse for her partner than she did herself. He hadn't been sleeping, eating very much, and spent a majority of his time isolated in his tent reading and chewing his bottom lip anxiously. Something was eating him up inside.

"But–" John protested as Dutch ambled closer and Annabelle snapped the book shut, tapping his back with it irritatedly and gesturing at the cabin again. He could tell by the way she looked at him that she was losing patience, it was rare, but it always put the fear of god in him when she looked at him disapprovingly like that.

"Go see if Bessie needs help, John. I'm not going to ask again." The boy flushed red and rolled onto his knees, standing up and brushing the dirt and grass off of himself as Dutch leaned against a tree a few feet away puffing on a cigarette.

"John." He ran a finger over the edge of his hat and the boy snarled, still clutching the handle of the knife that Dutch had given him in his hand, prompting Annabelle to smack him in the leg with her book angrily.

"Marston, the house. NOW." she gestured to the house again and he winced from the hit but began to make his retreat back up towards the house. He paused to look over his shoulder as the woman shivered a moment, closing her eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't want to leave her, even as Arthur and the others watched him walk back up to the house. "Dutch, what can I do for you?"

She snapped the book open again, returning to her reading as he continued to lean against the tree and smoke without saying a word. After about five minutes or so she retrieved her bookmark and stuck it in between the pages, setting it down on the blanket beneath her and folded her arms. She couldn't look at him, her heart pounded in her chest as she thought back to how hard he had thrown her on the table. He had been wild, the man she knew him to be had disappeared in an instant over a petty remark. She blamed herself but part of her knew that this hadn't been her fault, she hadn't deserved it. She inhaled and exhaled loudly again, tapping her chest slightly to try to calm down her heart that furiously and nervously thumped in her breast.

"It's over. Isn't it? That boy follows you around like a guard dog, sometimes I wonder if he might sneak into my tent sometime and slit my throat. I know he wants to. I can see it in his eyes." Dutch spat on the ground before taking another drag. Annabelle closed her eyes and sighed, unfolding her arms and running her hands through her hair. He hadn't calmed down, she realized. It wasn't the first time he had openly stated being either jealous of John or Arthur, as though her maternal disposition was actually sexual. She wanted to snap back at him, but realized that would just lead to another altercation as she glanced up at the gang eying them intently from the patio.

"You're being irrational. I went too far and I admit I was wrong, but so did you, darling. You would've killed me if John hadn't reacted the way he did. What the hell is wrong with you? Talk to me, goddamn it. I know it's not just me sleeping in John's tent that's keeping you up at night." Annabelle inhaled sharply, touching the place on her neck where he had pinned her down and trying not to cry.

"I don't know. And that scares me, Annabelle. I lost control and that scares me. It always has." Dutch replied in a hushed tone, his voice slightly cracking a bit as he exhaled. The cigarette sort of shook between his fingers and he bit his lower lip. "I love you. But, I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel overwhelmed, manic, and I don't know how to stop feeling this way. I'm wild, I always have been. I never meant to hurt you. You know that, right?"

"And I love you." She turned to him, tears welling up in her eyes as the two of them looked at each other mournfully. He sucked in a sharp inhale, trying to hold back his own feelings of hurt as he realized that even under all that anguish, he could still see the tender affection in her eyes. It crushed his heart a bit and he had to look away again, trying to push down how grotesque he felt for having snapped like a savage. And yet, she still loved him anyway knowing it could happen again, and again.

"Are you gonna leave me? You should, at least for your own safety. I don't want to lose control again and..." He asked after a while, biting his lip hard as his chest heaved trying to let a sob out but he tried to push it down. She should, he thought angrily, gritting his teeth and feeling the color flush in his cheeks. She will, he told himself bitterly, one day she'll realize what a sorry son of a bitch you really are.

"Is that what you want me to do? You want me to leave?" Annabelle replied, gulping down her own tears as she continued to look at him. She could tell he was stuck in his own thoughts again, probably reliving the incident over and over again in his mind. He took a last drag off his cigarette and tossed it away from himself, rubbing his hands over his face to try to hide his despair. This conversation was more than he could handle right now and he felt stupid for even approaching her.

"I–" He began but quickly stopped, this was getting more difficult the longer he talked to her. He tugged at his shirt and pushed himself away from the birch tree. "I'm going to take a walk."

He moved through the trees, disappearing into the game trail and Annabelle wiped her eyes and gritted her teeth, inhaling sharply as she debated whether or not to follow him. She looked over at the house and realized that everyone was busy chatting, fussing over Issac, or doing chores. She inhaled again to calm herself and stood up, brushing her dress down and taking one last glance over her shoulder before she followed the boot prints in the soft spring mud to catch up to him.

"Wait." She called out, trying to trot down a steep embankment and losing her footing, falling down on her rear and sliding down the hill as he turned to look behind him. She flopped on the ground in defeat, covering her face with her hands as she realized the dress she was wearing was probably covered in mud from her butt to her ankles, her bloomers as well. She felt his shadow over her closed eyes and she opened them, swallowing a bit as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He held out his hand to her and she grasped it, allowing him to pull her up and into his arms. There was a quiet moment between them where neither of them were sure if they should be around each other, both trying to calm themselves enough to at least try to stave off the feelings of pain, despair, and anguish between them. But at least they could look each other in the eyes.

"Of course I don't want you to leave. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you. I can't live without you. I just can't find the ground underneath my feet either. I hate that you love me sometimes, because I do not deserve it. I am not worthy of it." He pulled her in close and hugged her tightly to the point she felt her ribs might break a bit in his forearms. He tried to exhale without sounding too emotional but it was practically impossible for him not to break down, he shivered a bit trying to hold back the floodgates of his emotions.

"We're horrible parents." She chuckled softly trying to break the tension, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face against his collarbone. That familiar smell of campfire, tobacco, cheap cologne, bourbon, horses, and gunpowder. His smell. The one that reminded her that he was as wild as the four winds. She inhaled deeply, gripping the back of his neck in her fingers and gritting her own teeth as she too, tried desperately to not completely lose it around him either.

"No," he let her go and stepped back a bit, brushing her curls behind her as he tried to blink away tears in his eyes, "I am a horrible father. That boy loathes me, rightfully so. Even Arthur and Hosea look at me like I've lost my goddamn mind."

"Don't say that," she ran her hand along his cheek and looked up from his chest, "haven't you seen the way Mr. Morgan dotes on Issac? His own father didn't teach him that. You did. You're a good leader and a good man. I know you don't see it right now, but-"

"I'm not ready to settle down just yet. I know that's what you've been trying to tell me, but I can't, not yet. I want to give you everything you desire but I need time. I want to be comfortable when we do. No more of this sleeping in the dirt, living off of next to nothing, and running for our lives. That's all I'm asking you for, is a little patience and a little faith. Can you wait just a little while longer? And will you put your faith in me again?" He kissed the top of her forehead and she nodded, tipping his chin down towards her and pulling him down to kiss her.

"I missed you. Come home, Dutch. Come back to me. Wherever you are right now, rest and come home." She mumbled as they both paused for a moment with their faces close to one another. He gripped her by the waist with one hand and ran the other against her cheek, sighing contentedly as he pressed his mouth to hers again. He pulled back after a moment, breathing somewhat heavily and placed both hands firmly on her backside, pulling her up from the ground and she wrapped her legs around him. God, he wanted her. No, he needed her.

"Let's get you out of these dirty rags." He leaned her against a birch tree and began kissing and nibbling at her neck and she moaned softly in surprise as he pressed himself between her legs. He had yearned for her touch all week, barely existing and living on dreams of her wrapping herself around him again. He wanted to forget about how terrible he felt, how exhausted he was, and he wanted to lose himself in her.

"Right here?" She asked in a hushed voice and he groaned an 'uh-huh' in reply causing her to giggle a bit as he held her rear with a forearm and began to unbutton the front of her dress, pushing the fabric away from her shoulder so he could continue kissing her and tearing at her underdress, ripping it off of her. He paused, he wanted to take her right here and now, but he wasn't sure if being rough and greedy was the right move considering how he had behaved previously. She tucked her fingers under his chin again and made him look her in the eyes. She could see his apprehension and rubbed his chin a bit with her thumb, half closing her eyes and mouthing the words 'it's alright'. She was smiling as she took the other hand and tugged the lacy fabric as hard as she could but couldn't seem to get it to rip. She flushed in embarrassment as he put his hand around hers and made both of them grip the material to tear it away from her shoulder.

"I don't know if I can be gentle with you right now, Belle. I don't want to hurt you but I need to take you. I want you. I need you. I want to lose myself in you." He purred and she interlaced their fingers away from the torn fabric and set her hand against the tree behind her, indicating to him that she intended him to pin her arm there. He panted a bit, while he did love her, he wanted to tear her apart like an animal. He had never been rough with her before, he had always been too afraid he might lose control as he had before with other women. But she was not any woman, he told himself, she was his woman.

"Then be wild." She moaned quietly, pressing her mouth to his again and hungrily gripping his bottom lip between hers. He let out a growl as her teeth tugged across his lip and he pressed his full weight against her and the tree. He tore at her shoulder, moving her hand back down so he could slide her arm out of the sleeve, letting go of her hand for a second as he did so before wrapping his hand under her again and tending to the other shoulder.

"You aren't afraid of me? Afraid of what I'm going to do to you? I'm in agony, Belle. And I'm going to hurt you." He pulled away, pressing his forehead to hers as he panted, sliding the other side of her dress off and grasping one of her breasts in his hand. She moaned a little, hungrily pulling his mouth to hers and biting his bottom lip hard. Sliding her teeth across it slowly.

"Shut up Dutch and just fuck me already." She hissed as he opened his eyes and chuckled menacingly, pulling his hat off and tossing it casually on the floor.

"Oh, we'll get there, Annabelle. Be patient." He pulled her away from the tree and went to kneel on the ground with her wrapped around him in the tall grass. He pinned her down with his forearm on her navel and slid back a bit, his boots scraping against the ground as he lifted her dress and wrapped his hand underneath her to tear her bloomers away and buried his head between her legs.

"Oh fuck." She bucked her hips as he began kissing between her thighs and working his way up to her. She panted a bit, squirming a little as he bit into her inner thigh a little and slid the hand that had pulled her underwear away past his own face and put a couple fingers inside her slowly.

"You want it bad, don't you? You're already eager for me." He snickered as he finally made his way to the warm and wet space between her legs.

"You're enjoying this." She groaned as he continued both licking her and touching her at the same time.

"I am. But so are you." He paused and she squealed angrily, trying to buck her hips at him again but he kept her firmly pinned to the ground and pulled himself away and back up towards her, kneeling for a moment while he undid his gunbelt and tossed it off to the side. He unbuttoned his sleeves and began to roll them up over his elbows slowly. "I'm going to tear you to pieces. Are you sure you're alright with that?"

She lay back in the grass, huffing angrily as her cheeks flushed and he tugged at his belt and undid it, slowly pulling it out of the belt loops and staring her down. He gestured for her to sit up and turn around and she did. He pulled one arm at a time behind her so that her wrists were together and he slid the belt over her arms and stuck the leather back into the buckle tugging it tight. He wove the remnants together up to her elbows and scooped her hips up with a forearm as he undid his pants, bending her precariously over the forest floor and pushing her dress out of the way.

"Darling." She turned her head to look at him, whimpering a bit as he pulled her into him. She cried out loudly in surprise and relief and he leaned over her to whisper in her ear, gripping her breast in a hand and crying out a bit himself as he pushed himself into her in his entirety. She was warm, wet, and eager and he kissed the back of her neck softly.

"Be quiet. Last thing I need is your boy putting that knife in my back while I'm inside you. Are you ready?" He growled, starting off slowly and she tried to stifle her cries by breathing in and out through her nose and biting her lip. They both quietly moaned a bit, he had to swallow the thought of keeping her neck in his mouth as he felt her pulse under his tongue while he kissed and sucked at her skin. He wanted to bite into her shoulder with his teeth, but instead moved his hand from her breast to the place on her neck he had grabbed her a week before. The feeling of her pulse against the tips of his fingers made him shudder a bit, but he only rested his hand there gently. He was going to lose himself inside her, she had given him a way to redirect all of his anger, pain, despair, and longing. She knew what he needed, when he needed it and she was the only woman who ever would.

"I don't know if I can." She moaned as he pulled her onto his knees and forced himself into her harder, releasing his hold on her neck and placing his hand over her mouth. He grunted a little bit as he felt her squeezing him, she was really enjoying this.

"Try." He growled, pushing into her as hard as he could now, she squinted her eyes shut and tried to muffle her cries in his hand. "My life depends on it."

—-

"You can't be serious." John said as Annabelle tucked him in for the night and she smoothed the boy's hair back gently, half closing her eyes as she sighed. She knew he wouldn't understand why she was going back to her and Van der Linde's tent tonight. She was surprised he hadn't caught them in the act given that it must've been at least an hour before they returned to camp so she could change, and they hadn't exactly been quiet like they intended. John had been fuming when he watched the two of them return to Arthur's house as though the argument had never happened.

"Couples fight sometimes, John. I love Mr. Van der Linde and he loves me. He can lose control sometimes, be a little crazy, but he wouldn't have hurt me, son. Like I said, he just gets a little irritable from time to time and the smallest thing sets him off. People make mistakes, John. I pushed him too hard and he snapped, that's all." Annabelle closed her eyes and rubbed her temples with her fingers as the boy sat up and gripped her shoulders.

"He's gonna be the death of you. What if he loses control again and something bad happens!" John's eyes burned a little, he sniffed loudly trying to hold back his worries and doubts.

"It's alright, Johnny. We've known each other for years now. Sometimes folks just argue. I know you have your reservations, but I am a grown woman. I can make my own choices. And my choice is always Dutch. My loyalty is to Dutch. My love is his and his alone. You'll understand someday, when you find a woman of your own." She wrapped the boy tightly in her arms and kissed the top of his head before she went to slink away. John groaned, leaning back down on his bedroll and wiping his eyes. She's a damn fool, he thought angrily as he heard her stepping through the grass and up into the tent with the wooden platform.

"You were gone a while," Dutch grumbled as he studied the chess board he had set up on their dining table, "he still wants me dead, doesn't he?"

"You're being paranoid," She closed the flap and began to tie it shut slowly, "he's just a child. One day this incident will be a distant memory."

"That boy is going to be the one to kill me, I just know it. I see it in his eyes." He hissed, leaning back in his hair and running his hands through his hair as she stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her hands along his chest.

"Let's not think about 'what if', right now. Where are we going to go? And who are we going to rob?" She put her head against his and he stretched back into her embrace, placing his hands on hers and kissing her forearms. She knew him too well. She was trying to divert his mind to focus on 'what next' and not 'what if', she was good at it too, he knew. He still didn't deserve her.

"California. The gold rush may be over, but that doesn't mean there aren't fools who are ready to be separated from their wealth."

"It's a long way, I was hoping we might accompany Hosea and Bessie back to their cabin. Maybe spend the winter in West Elizabeth? Plenty of small towns need saving along the way I'm sure." She let him go and he hummed, mulling over her idea in his head. Part of him felt as though she were questioning him, questioning his leadership and trying to be gentle about the fact he felt he was slowly going insane. But he knew her better than that, she was trying to help him get back to her.

"It's barely May, Annabelle. If we make good time–" He began when she walked past and knelt on the floor in front of him, clasping her hands together and staring up at him pleadingly. He liked when she begged him from time to time, though he would've given into whatever she wanted anyway, but it always reminded him of when they were younger. He had been an idiot back then too.

"You need to rest. You've barely been eating or sleeping since before we left here last year. It's just for a little while." She reached up and put her hand against his cheek and he closed his eyes, pressing his hand against the warmth of hers and sighing.

"I'm fine." He opened his eyes again, interlacing their fingers as she slid up from the floor and into his lap, resting an arm across his shoulder.

"You can lie to them but don't lie to me, please. I won't ask what's eating away at you, but your behavior hasn't gone unnoticed by our family." She mumbled, pressing her lips to his forehead gently.

"You're starting to sound like Hosea. Your little brat told him all about our fight and he looks at me with disgust now. Like I don't remember the code. Do I disgust you, Belle?" He growled and she pulled away, hooking her fingers under his chin and sighing.

"Darling, enough. You're putting words in my mouth and that's not fair." He closed his eyes again and sighed, trying to calm down as thoughts of her despising him played out in his mind. She gently cupped his face in her hands and kissed him before pulling back again. "I will never leave you. I promised."

"You should. I don't deserve you. No matter what I say or do, to you or to others, you just refuse to believe that I really am degenerate, loathsome, and insane. They think I don't hear them talking behind my back, but I do." He growled through gritted teeth as he caressed her gently in his arms, burying his head against her neck to listen to her heartbeat.

"Enough of that kind of talk," she sighed, running her hands through his hair, "let's go to bed. Or do I need to wear you out again like you wore me out this afternoon?"

"Possibly." He smiled, tilting his head up so he could kiss at her neck, moving his hands down to just below her rear as he picked her up into his arms and delicately set her down on the cot. He went to remove her shoes, slowly, untying the laces of her above her black leather boots and let one drop to the floor loudly.

"And my proposal?" She asked, propping herself up with an elbow as he slid off the second shoe and let it fall to the floor.

"I will consider it." He began to unbutton his shirt, sliding off his suspender straps from his shoulders as she sat up in bed and put her hands on the collar and helped him pull it off. He tossed it away and she wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder. He leaned his head against hers for a brief moment before she turned to kiss his neck and whisper.

"Can you be gentle now?" She asked as he ran his hand along her forearm and interlaced his fingers in hers, pulling a hand towards him so he could kiss her knuckles tenderly.

"I think so. I wasn't too savage with you, was I? Though, you were quite pleased with my need for being downright barbaric with you." He murmured back as she moved alongside him and indicated she needed him to unbutton the back of her dress for her, sweeping her long dark hair out of the way.

"I'm a little sore, but I'll be alright. Though…" she bit her lip as she felt him undoing the buttons for her. He paused, resting his head against hers and rubbing her biceps.

"I know. I finished in you. I couldn't help it. I wanted to get lost in you and I just got a little carried away."

"I'll ask Susan to help me with it tomorrow morning. I know you're not ready. You won't even touch Issac or even look at him." She replied as he moved to finish unbuttoning the back for her.

"Do you want a family, Belle? With my temperament, I don't know if I can be–" He began but she pushed her arms free of her sleeves and began to remove her dress leaving only her white chemise as she pushed the dark green dress to the floor.

"I can wait. Just," she turned to look at him, "don't make me wait too long. My mother died because my father made her wait for him."

"I would never let anything happen to you," he reached for her hand and kissed it, "I can't live without you. I won't live without you."

She pulled her hand away and straddled him, placing both arms around his neck and pressed their foreheads together before she softly kissed him. He responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and letting her fall into the cot with him, gripping her tightly with his fingers.

"It felt good, you know," she whispered as he let her go and stood up to remove his pants, "you finishing in me."

"It's the only time I ever have. In anyone, actually. Even with whores I…hadn't. You will talk to Sue tomorrow, right?" He raised an eyebrow, letting go of her for a moment as he stood up again to take off his belt and tossed it on the table behind him.

"Dutch, I understand. I'm not going to betray you. You said you aren't ready. I push you sometimes not to be a little bitch but because I know you, I won't force you into a situation you can't handle–" She began as he let his pants fall to the floor and stood in front her naked for a moment, prompting her to take her underdress off and toss it to him. He caught it, only to throw it over his shoulder as he stared gently at the woman he loved.

"I know." He murmured, turning to the lantern on the table and turning it off as the tent became dark and he went to find her in bed and pull the covers over them. "We'll head for West Elizabeth in a week."

She wrapped herself around him and he turned to do the same, brushing her stray hair behind her ear before he felt for her lips with his thumb and cupped the side of her face when he did.

"I love you." She whispered, pressing her mouth to his as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. He pulled away and rubbed her cheek with his thumb.

"And I love you."

—-

It felt odd to hold the small child in his arms as Annabelle smoked a cigarette, leaning against the wall of the cabin and watching him with a smile. He felt giddy almost, even a little embarrassed as he felt Trelawny watching the two of them stare down at the tiny Issac.

"How does it feel?" Josiah purred, twirling his mustache a bit as Arthur watched anxiously, folding his arms and looking at Dutch with a mixture of sadness and joy.

"He's perfect." Dutch replied quietly, looking down at the sleeping child in his arms and running his hand over the child's forehead. He looked over at Arthur, sighing a bit as he tried to hold back his emotions. "You did good, son."

"Would you folks mind if I spoke to Mr. Van der Linde…alone?" Arthur removed his hat, clearing his throat as Annabelle and Trelawny looked at one another and the Englishman rose first from his seat. He stretched before retrieving his top hat and placed it on his head, extending his arm out at an angle for his cousin to take. She took a drag from her cigarette, pushing herself away from the wall and snuffed it out, exhaling through her nose before turning back to her partner. She ran her fingers through his hair and he looked up at her, cupping her chin in his hands as they kissed each other goodbye.

"I'll see you back at camp, Belle." Dutch pulled away from her before giving her another peck and letting go of her slowly. She nodded but said nothing, turning to Josiah to take his arm in hers and head back towards the camp at the edge of the meadow.

"Dutch, I–" Arthur began but the man put a hand up to silence him, gesturing to the newborn who was stirring in his lap, resting his forearm behind the child's neck the way that Trelawny and Annabelle had shown him.

"I'm the one who should be sorry, Arthur. I love you like a brother, no, like a son. I know you don't love this girl but, you're going to be a great father to this boy. I'm proud of you. You've grown into a fine man, maybe even a better man than me." Dutch looked up from Issac and at Arthur who flushed a bit as Hosea came out of the cabin and shut the door behind him.

"Susan was saying you're thinking about laying low in West Elizabeth for a while." He rifled through his pockets to find three cigars and handed one to Arthur and then one to Dutch.

"We are." Dutch replied, looking back down at Issac for a moment before putting the cigar in his mouth as Hosea struck a match on his boot and held it out to him to light it.

"Well now that's definitely not your idea." Arthur chuckled as Hosea passed the match to him to light the cigar before he passed it back to Hosea.

"It was suggested that we take a break for a while. That I needed rest." Dutch exhaled through his nose a moment, before taking the cigar out of his mouth and into his free hand.

"Do you really love her, Dutch Van der Linde?" Hosea remarked as Dutch nodded quietly.

"I do. I don't know what she sees in a crazy bastard like me, but I sincerely love her for it. I treat her like a common whore sometimes or worse, yet, she still loves me. Only Trelawny knows this, for now, but…fellas, I want to marry her." He closed his eyes and leaned back, as Hosea stepped forward to retrieve the child from him and they passed Issac between them.

"And a family?" Arthur asked, puffing on the cigar as Hosea tucked Issac into the crook of his arm and looked down at the baby.

"The gang is my family, she knows that." Dutch snorted before puffing on his cigar for a moment as the three men were silent for a while. "Maybe. But it would mean the end. And I don't know if I'm okay with that."

"First time you've been forthright in some time. How does it feel to be honest for once?" Hosea chuckled, causing Dutch to shoot him an exhausted look as he grumbled under his breath.

"When have I ever lied to you boys?" Dutch made a clicking noise and put the cigar back in his mouth, chewing the end of it a little as he took a drag.

"You think she'll say yes?" Arthur kicked at the floor and Dutch shrugged, exhaling through his nose again nervously before taking the cigar out of his mouth again.

"I don't know, and that scares me. We hit a rough patch, but I think we'll be okay. I know she loves me. And I need and love her." He closed his eyes again and puffed on the cigar again.

"She's a good woman, I admit I had my reservations about her given your history but I've seen how she looks at you, the way you look at her, and that business off the trail. It's nice to see you two together again, I was worried she might get sick and tired of your shit." Hosea laughed a moment before realizing he had Issac in his arms as the baby began to fuss a bit, having woken up. "Shhhh, Shhh, I'm sorry little one."

"It took me, Hosea, and Trelawny to keep that boy from running back to Mommy when he heard you taking out your frustrations on her." Arthur chortled, causing Dutch to open his eyes and glare at him a moment.

"That boy is going to be the death of me, I just know it. I appreciate you boys looking out for me." Dutch sighed, puffing on the cigar again as Arthur stepped towards him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I turned out alright, didn't I?" He raised an eyebrow and the man chuckled, scratching his facial hair.

"You think she'd want me clean shaven or should I change it up a bit? I was thinkin', a mustache and a little bit of fuzz here," he gestured to just under his bottom lip and wriggled his eyebrows, "just so I can occasionally taste her without being between her thighs."

"You're a degenerate." Hosea snorted, nearly choking on his cigar as Issac fussed again and he held the boy out to Arthur who took his son from his old friend.

"You have a place in mind where you're going to ask her?" Hosea took a drag and exhaled loudly. This must've been what had been chewing him up at night, he realized, the anxiety over whether or not he could be an outlaw and a husband. Suddenly it made sense to Hosea why Dutch would be acting crazy, the man was desperately in love and like him with his own wife, didn't think he deserved her affections for him. Of course, he told himself quietly, but now that they were heading off for some rest hopefully Dutch would stay true to his word that he intended to marry the girl.

"I do. Cochinay. There's a ridge that would be perfect. If, of course, she doesn't push me off the damn cliff on account of my bullshit." Dutch laughed and Arthur swayed a bit as he tried to settle his son in his arms.

"I'm happy for you. You don't always have the best and brightest ideas, but choosing to be with her was the best decision you've made. You know I love Miss Grimshaw like a mother, Dutch, but Annabelle will be a wonderful mother to John. You're lucky she caught you." Arthur looked up at Dutch who ashed his cigar and rubbed his face as he exhaled, happy to be in the company of his close friends but longing to return to his woman back in camp.