The first time Hermione freaked out after the whole Malfoy incident came on the Sunday morning. As per usual, Harry had gone to sleep on the sofa. Morning came and with it, Hermione was nestled in his arms on the sofa with him, her back to his front. Harry was dreaming, his morning erection pressed against her arse as he rutted against her. He groaned quietly in her ear, dreaming of her body below his as he kissed her passionately.
Hermione's scream of fear jolted him awake and he scrambled off the sofa, his vision blurred as he fumbled for his glasses and found her stood in the middle of the living room, her eyes wide with fear and body trembling.
"Hermione?" He said gruffly, voice sleep roughened. "What's wrong?"
She wrung her hands and chewed her lip. "You…You were, um, you're…" She waved her hand at his lower body and he flushed red as he realised his pyjama trousers were tented.
"Oh, god, 'Mione, I'm so sorry," he whispered.
"I…It's okay, I was just, I wasn't…I didn't expect it," she stammered. "You were, uh, rubbing against me."
He held his hands in the air and willed his erection away. "I'm so sorry, I must have been dreaming. Please, 'Mione, please don't be scared of me. I wouldn't ever do anything to make you uncomfortable."
She eventually calmed down and allowed him close enough to grasp her hands loosely in his own so she could pull away. His thumbs circled the backs of her hands and he smiled weakly. Hermione met it and laughed awkwardly. "Well, this is mildly awkward."
Harry barked a laugh and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, jeez, I really am sorry."
Hermione shook her head and laughed at herself. "You couldn't have helped it, Harry. You were dreaming. Besides, you've, um, woken with a-a, um, well, you know," she gestured downwards, "Before so, I know you get them, every man does."
"Do you want to go see Madam Pomfrey?" He asked softly.
She nodded and took the shower first, Harry stood in the living room and cursed his treacherous brain for presenting him with such wonderful dreams when they were so far from the truth. Maybe not forever? His mind whispered. He shook his head and tidied away the blankets and pillows, calling Dobby to put some breakfast together for them.
"Fucking Malfoy," Harry growled, and grabbed a slice of toast, biting into it viciously.
He heard Hermione leave the shower and call out she was going to the Infirmary, Harry shouted back about breakfast, but she was already gone. With a dejected sigh, Harry resigned himself to breakfast alone, and a cold shower to chase away the last visions of his dream.
-oo0oo-
Poppy smiled gently when Hermione found her way into her office. The kindly mediwitch conjured a tea tray and settled Hermione in her biggest chair. "Something happened, dear?"
"It seems so silly now that I think about it," Hermione mumbled.
Poppy sat back down at her desk and rested her forearms on it, leaning forward and keeping her body language inviting. "Now, dear, we discussed this. Nothing is silly if it upsets you. You've been through something traumatic, and even when you feel like everything is fine, sometimes small things can cause us to panic because we aren't expecting them to appear."
Hermione sighed and her cheeks pinked. "Harry sleeps on the sofa, partly because I'm not ready to share a bed full time with him, and partly because Harry doesn't want me to feel like I have to, even though it's platonic, for now anyway. But I can't sleep alone, so I often end up migrating to the sofa and sleeping there next to him. It's been fine so far, but this morning, Harry was…he…"
Poppy smiled sympathetically at her sigh of frustration. "He had an erection?" She guessed.
She nodded. "Yes. I mean, it isn't the first time he's woken like that, and I know it's not something that can be controlled. But he was rubbing against me, and I woke up and panicked. He says he was dreaming."
"You don't believe him?"
"No! I absolutely believe him. I just…I wasn't expecting something like that to happen, and it frightened me."
Poppy conjured some biscuits and nibbled on one. "Understandable, my dear. I imagine it brought to mind the incident with Mr. Malfoy?"
Hermione nodded and wiped her eyes before her tears could fall. "Gods, I'm so sick of crying!" She yelled. "I shouldn't ever be afraid of Harry! He's my best friend and I love him, it makes me sick to think I was actually scared of him, even for a second!"
The mediwitch smiled. "I don't think it's actually Harry you were afraid of, Hermione. It might be that because you were still asleep when Harry started rubbing against you, your mind panicked and believed it was Mr. Malfoy again. When your mind cleared, were you not a little more level-headed?"
"Yes, I was. So, is this going to happen every time I try anything? Harry and I have to consummate our marriage in less than three weeks. How am I supposed to do that if every time I close my eyes, all I'm going to see is Malfoy groping me?"
Poppy sat back and laid her hands out on the desk. "You tell me."
Hermione blinked. "How? How the hell am I supposed to know how to get over what that sick, little, ferret bastard did to me?"
She smiled. "You'll figure it out, Hermione. The best place to start is to talk it over with Harry. If I'm truly honest, this law isn't going to be repealed in time for your consummation. Explain to Harry how you feel so he can accommodate your needs and you don't feel afraid."
"But…he's just going to want to get it over with as quickly as possible." Surprisingly, Hermione found that even though this was not what she had chosen for herself, the prospect of going to bed with Harry, in an intimate fashion, did not fill her with dread. Mostly she just felt slightly awkward.
"Well, if you want my honest opinion, Hermione," she glanced at the girl and waited for her to nod before continuing. "I think Harry will make it as quick, or as real, as you want it to be. You have to remember that Harry is very affection starved, his relatives are less than kind to him and he did not know a loving touch until he came to Hogwarts. I often give him a few extra hugs on the times he has to visit the Infirmary. If you asked him to make this marriage more real, he would do it, for you, and for himself."
Hermione frowned. "What do you mean 'real'?"
Poppy chuckled. "Harry cares for you a great deal, my dear, and if you told him that you didn't just want to be, forgive my crudeness, a wham, bam, thank you ma'am situation, then he would accommodate that. I guess what I'm trying to say is you can choose to go through the motions, meet the minimum requirements of the marriage law and Harry would do that for you. Or, you could consider the possibility that you both could be very happy together if you allowed yourself to."
"Truth be told, I'm not as miserable as I expected to be. Harry has been wonderful, always putting my needs first, and he's always so focused on making sure I'm alright."
"Well, of course he is, Hermione. Harry is a very considerate young man. There are many boys his age that would want nothing more than a woman to warm their bed and be willing and waiting for them, any man would. But not Harry, no, he would sooner cut off his own hand than ever let you feel pressured. What I'm trying to get at, is that Harry will do whatever you wish. Think on it, you both have the potential to be very happy together, and I do not think it would take much for Harry to fall for you, Hermione."
She twitched and shrugged awkwardly. "I have no doubt about that, but I'm not so sure I could fall for him. He's been my best friend for seven years, how could that develop to love?"
The mediwitch laughed and patted her hand. "Sweetie, many a successful marriage has been because they were friends first and it evolved. Love is sneaky, it creeps up on you and worms its way in before you even realise it."
The two witches chatted a little while longer, switching to more inconsequential things until Hermione felt better and left. Poppy saw her out and gave her a one-armed hug. She didn't close the Infirmary doors until the girl had disappeared from sight, a slight bounce in her step.