Yet another week of training passed by. Hana came over again, much to Jiraiya and Naruto's delight, on a few days to spar with the child. It was to refine her own technique, which also kept his from rusting. On that particular day, she was present.

"Did I mention you heal unnaturally fast?" Hana, scuffed up, asked.

An equally disheveled Naruto nodded, made the snake sign, clapped his hands, and palmed forward a gust of wind that blew out what little support a tree he was using for target practice had left. He laughed as it timbered over. "Once or twice." Looking over to Anko, he smiled. "I think I'm ready for a new jutsu."

"No shit. Just not sure what to pick that isn't redundant or overkill."

"The Explosive Shadow Clone!"

She scoffed. "With your chakra reserves even bigger than when I first told you no?"

"I agree." Jiraiya, who was observing Hana more than their charge, gave him a worried look from a decent enough distance away. "You could damage the village, kill some villagers, or kill yourself with that."

"Oh who gives a fuck about the villagers?" He brought his fingers together and made another him. "I think I already figured it out."

"Is that?"

"No." The clone made of a clone of itself.

Jiraiya shook his head. "You need to let go of your hatred. Not letting yourself feel anger is one thing, but you'll be fighting it forever if you never really let go."

"I… I don't know." Naruto frowned.

A clone scoffed. "What a joke." Its eyes bore into the real one's, ignoring the stares from the actual people, before cloning itself.

"What?"

"Everyone in the village despises us." It continued the chain and ganged up on him with the others.

"They've been lying to us and looking down on us since we were kids," the most recent said, making another as it did.

"Treating us like trash; how could you let go of that?!"

It made one more that frowned with the rest in unison. "It was always so hard and so painful." It stepped forward and put a hand over its heart. "We're the only ones who will ever understand you!" It smiled even as he stepped back shivering. "Love you!"

Naruto stomped forward and punched it in the face to get blasted back. His clones disappeared thanks to the force of the explosion too. It wasn't enough to kill anyone, being an extremely divided amount of his chakra, but the explosion burned the skin off his hand and scorched his front, ruining his outfit.

"This is why I didn't want to teach you it!" Anko ran over and picked his unsteady, ear-ringing self up. She met Jiraiya's worried look with one of her own. "Let's get him to the hospital."

Hana stared at the two taking off with the wounded third. She knew from the rumors he was hiding issues, but that was something else entirely. As a medic, she figured he would alright, especially at the rate he healed. His wounds would leave him open for infection, so temporary hospitalization was a given even if he'd hate it. Shrugging, she kept on about her day, ignoring the confused looks given by the women the next waterfall over checking what the racket was.

The flooded sewer-like system of Naruto's subconscious was becoming an increasingly familiar place to him.

"I really don't get it." He lay in the water again. "Love...or what the hell I'm doing. Not feeling anger but still feeling hate. It's hard looking on the bright side of things, and it's still not enough?"

"Are you asking me for an answer? I thought you didn't want to rely on anyone else."

He shrugged. "I don't know." His mind drifted back to the day he and the rest of Team 7 returned from Wave. "To be loved, I have to be strong. To be strong, I have to not want to be loved."

It scoffed. "This world is cruel."

"I always knew that… I wanted everyone else to know it too; get my revenge by making them all regret ever looking down on me. But does that change anything?"

"If I had it my way, they'd be dead."

"And then what?" He looked up to the beast. "They'd just seal you away again. Over and over again for what? It's so pointless…but I really don't know."

"Is that all you can say?"

"Until either of us finds an answer, yeah. I feel like I'm splitting myself after two different things, and they're both meaningless shit. I'm not sure what to feel or what to do."

"Then choose what feels best."

"I… really like being around Anko-sensei and everyone else." He frowned. "Don't like it when they worry about me, keep secrets, and go behind my back though. I hate the villagers and Neji." Shifting into a smile, he laughed. "It'd feel really good for them to suffer, but I'm not sure what comes after."

The Nine-Tail's eye glared down at him. "Do you truly think things will change if you don't take your revenge?" It laughed. "As much as you keep from them, do you really think it's anything close to how much they keep from you?"

"Probably not. I guess I'll see when the finals come up. Everything will be decided there: what I want, my feud with that douchebag, and whether or not I'll be stuck doing fucking D rank chores until the next Chunin Exams." His brow furrowed.

"You'll be facing that other jinchuriki: the One-Tailed Runt. If that Uchiha brat you care for so much doesn't beat him, I expect you to win." Its tails thrashed against the cage. "I am not losing, physically or sealed, to that worthless tanuki!"

He blinked. "The One-Tail is a what now?"

Its red eyes gleamed with malice. "If that red-haired brat is as unhinged as I think he is, you'll know it when you see it. Feel free to call on me because we're likely to both die if you're too weak to take him down yourself."

"What happens if I do beat him without your help?"

"Then you'd be on the level of the weakest Tailed Beast. It's not that much of a feat."

"Not to you." He grinned. "If I do that, I'd be a candidate for the next Hokage or make jonin." He shook with excitement. "Oh man! I can just imagine the look on all their faces! Dead last demon brat in charge with the power to level the village if he wants! Man, I'd love that!"

"You're better off killing them all, but I suppose there's no swaying you away from petty revenge over true vengeance."

"I'm having my cake and eating it too, big guy!" He smiled and laughed. "This is gonna be awesome!"

What started uneasy on top of unsure became all to cheerful. The Nine-Tails regretted being in the cage as its jailer went on a gleeful rant about petty vengeance. Talk about the head pats he loved so much made it hate the boy more. It tried very hard to stop its ability to listen when he came to women, specifically the snake woman drowning him in affection as of late. For a second things were looking dark and gloomy, just as he liked it, for the child.

A crisp, sterile hospital room ceiling greeted the boy when he woke up. There was no one else in the bed. It felt hollow given how normal Anko's comforting presence was to him now. He really didn't want to go back to the nights he spent alone ever again.

"Finally awake, huh?" A lazy voice to his left asked.

Naruto glanced at Shikamaru sitting at his side and raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

"Can you tell me where Jiraiya and Anko-sensei are?"

His eyes squinted. "The Sannin Jiraiya and the crazy proctor?"

"Did I…" Naruto drifted off. "Yeah."

"...Uh, I thought I saw the troublesome woman walk out, but I can't say for sure. Did you hit your head or something?"

He lifted his upper body up and tugged down the blanket to see himself in just shorts and bandages. "I got exploded." Groaning, he fell back on to his bed. "Sakura's gonna lecture me so hard about taking care of my clothes."

Shikamaru hummed. "You seem a lot different."

"I'm dealing with a lot of things right now, man."

"Thinking about that fight with Neji?" He grimaced. "During training, it's all Ino talks about. She thinks you're actually cool now for getting between him and Hinata. Troublesome."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I just wanted to beat the shit out of him."

"Every time I tell her that she insists it was romantic and that I, a lazy women-hating loser, wouldn't understand."

"I've heard Hinata has a thing for me and that I'm an idiot for not noticing… But I never really thought about her; I don't even know what it's like to love another person." He stared at the ceiling. "What do people expect me to do?" He shrugged and raised an eyebrow at his old detention's buddy's bewildered expression. "What?"

Shikamaru tilted his head. "I never thought I'd hear you say anything like that, ever."

"And then I have fuckers like you looking at me like there's something wrong when I'm trying to do something other than be angry all the time." Naruto scoffed.

"It's just weird, okay? You were the guy everyone was wary of and thought was a loser: then you jumped out a window, killed Mizuki, who was apparently a traitor the entire time; actually got along with Sasuke, saw right through the first test, swarmed the Forest of Death with solid clones when you couldn't make fakes, got into whatever classified mess that mummified you, dominated the preliminaries with your entire team, apparently smacked the ass of the Sand Team all by yourself, and, still messed up from everything that happened before, you actually beat back a prodigy of the Hyuga clan."

He grinned. "I'm awesome, right?!"

"The things you do are insane, and we have no idea how to react to them. Cut us a break." He shook his pineapple-haired head. "So troublesome."

"...I'll cut you slack if I start getting some respect around here. Chances of that happening are slim, so I'll have ram it down your throats. I expect to be acknowledged and appreciated." Naruto chuckled.

"Now you're just being a dick. Happy but still a dick."

"Isn't it great?!"

Shikamaru tilted his head from side to side. "Guess it's better than how you used to be."

"You still never told me why you're here."

"Choji."

"Sound guy really fuck him up that bad?"

He scoffed. "He ate so much meat after his fight that he injured his stomach."

"Fucking Choji." Holding on to his bandaged sides, Naruto laughed. "I swear, that fatass is dumber than you all thought I was."

"Stopped by your room when I heard because I thought you'd heal by now. Turns out you just got into another incident that turned you into a mummy. Lucky you're not crippled."

"Speaking of cripples, how's Bushy Brows?"

Shikamaru shot him a look and shrugged. "I haven't checked...dick."

He slipped out of his bed. "Guess I'll go find him myself." He frowned. "For the longest time, I thought he was looking down on me, but he really thought I had something." Blinking, he raised a bandaged hand to his chin. "But he did call me a 'future spirited thug' one time."

"Could you blame him?"

"Well, he wasn't wrong." Naruto started walking. "Wanna come for old time's sake?"

"Troublesome." He followed after the mummy boy.

They walked around, utterly lost, for a bit. Some of the staff they asked for directions pointed to the welcome desk, but they mentioned hearing about Lee's case from time to time. Apparently, he was likely to never be a ninja again. Both, the rude one especially, felt terrible when they heard.

"I was just joking."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "I heard you the first six times." He resumed staring at the unfamiliar sight of worry in his detention buddy's. "They have medical ninjutsu: I'm sure there's someone that can take care of it, especially with a jonin like Guy and the Leaf's resources."

"And if not, Bushy Brow's dreams and reason for living die."

That's…" He hummed. "The room's coming up."

Naruto nodded at the number. "I know."

They entered and saw a familiar red-head looming over a bed-ridden Lee, sand crawling over him.

Shikamaru made the hand seal common to his clan's technique. When their shadow connected, he smirked. "Not so fast." A shiver ran down his spine as his detention buddy stomped forward. "Your attacks on him effect me!"

"Stay." He glanced back at him, eyes turning red. "Out of this!" Focusing back on the Sand ninja, he scoffed. "Really?"

"If you thought I was petty, what he has in him is far worse."

Gaara glared at him. "I am not as weak as you are to let a crying girl stop me from proving my existence."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"My father, the Kazekage, sacrificed my mother to make me a weapon and spoiled me." He closed his eyes. "I thought that was love." Opening them, he grinned. "Until he started sending assassins to kill me since I turned six!"

"What?"

"Don't tell me you don't understand. Uncontrollable power brings fear, so the villagers despised me. I was not an ideal weapon, even though I was the village's trump card. When I turned six, I suppose he realized I was defective."

"You... Your own father…" Naruto drifted off, interactions with the closest thing he had to a parent springing into his mind.

The crazed look in his eyes only grew. "To him and the villagers, I was just a burden. I used to ask myself why I exist, yearning for something to live for. Then I found out: to fight for myself, loving only myself, and killing everyone else."

He began shaking. The young man was almost exactly like his screaming subconscious mind that lashed out at him. In all likelihood, that would be him if he didn't make genin after Mizuki: he would've clung to the relief of the killing to ignore the pain he'd feel. Maybe even if Kakashi didn't approach him after the Wave Massacre. The psychotic, murder-loving wretch in front of him was what he'd become if he let his pain drive him away from everyone else.

"Naruto," Shikamaru called out, "I don't know if I can hold him for much longer."

"Let me speak through you."

"I can do that?"

"Huh?"

"Just let my words and thoughts flow through you. No need to resist, I won't take control beyond what's necessary or force my chakra."

"Uh, Naruto?"

It glanced back at him, its vessel's features fully taking on his influence. "Quiet, gnat." Focusing on a surprised Gaara, it squatted down and held the boy's patched face up with his hands. "Little baby One-Tail." It snickered. "So worthless and weak it told the vermin its name so it could be said with respect."

"You bastard!" The red-head's expression became somehow more unhinged. "I knew it was you! It's always you!"

Shikamaru glanced from the demon fox-faced boy to the crazed one. "I am so lost right now."

"Shut up!" They yelled in unison.

"I just came out to let you know something I find absolutely hilarious." It pointed one of Naruto's thumb at itself. "This brat has almost as much chakra as you."

The One-Tail growled. "This time, I'm going to win! Mine is stronger! Chakra is meaningless!"

"Which one of us has the most chakra again? Oh right! I do, and I remember telling all of you that made me the strongest. What did you do again?"

"It was a fluke!"

"I had four of you near death and the other four spent." It scoffed.

"That was ages ago!"

"Please, even if you manifest, the brat will win." It grinned and laughed. "And he won't use a single sliver of my chakra to do it!"

"Ku–"

Naruto's body launched into Gaara's and nearly sent him through the wall. "Never." It looked to Lee and to a frozen Shikamaru, who survived by virtue of his jutsu expiring not long into the argument. "Not in front of the maggots." It flipped back, stood, and stretched as the other one vanished in a flash of sand. "I miss being corporeal." The Nine-Tails turned to the only other conscious being in the room. "Yes, worm?"

"...Naruto?"

Red eyes gave way to blue. "Uh." He glanced at the crater in the wall. "So, you might have a few questions." He laughed at the 'of-course-I-fucking-do' look on Shikamaru's face. "Do you remember my birthday?"

"Octo–" His eyes widened. "Fuck!"

"Oh yeah." Naruto patted his shoulder.

His lips parted to say something but faltered at the realization of what he just witnessed. Two Tailed-Beasts spoke through each other's vessels. They told him to shut up. Lee somehow slept through the entire thing. Other than the Nara clan joining the founding of the Leaf Village, it was probably the biggest thing any member was ever involved in, save a Ninja World War.

He turned to walk out the door. "I'm going to go find my bodyguard teacher leash handlers." He gave a small wave before he left. "Good luck with your mental breakdown or whatever. If you tell anyone, I'll probably have to kill you; hope we can still be...comrades?" Shrugging, he kept on walking. He let his expression sour when he was a safe distance away.

"That brat isn't like you. He didn't hesitate to let Shukaku speak at all."

"Only time I'll ever let you speak, understand?" Naruto flinched at the looks he got from the staff.

"You should worry more about the thoughts you bottle in your head. They literally exploded in your face. All that forced, fake happy nonsense is getting to you."

'I don't want to be miserable or like Gaara.'

"Focusing on happiness will cause you more misery. You are already like him: self-centered and yearning for validation of your existence."

'I know.' Making his way back to what was supposed to be his room, the white color of the hospital reminded him of someone. He looked to a passing nurse. "Do you know where I can find Hinata Hyuga?"

She froze. "Hyuga?" Turning to see him, her eyes widened for a second. "Uh, I believe she left a few days ago."

"Nice." He kept on his way. "Good she's back up."

"Hoping for a companion?"

Naruto grimaced. 'Not you too.'

"Don't mistake me for one of those fools. I know the only women you have eyes on are older than you."

'I still don't understand what the big deal is.'

"Neither do I, but I am an immortal being that does not understand difference in human ages as you do. There are little worthless gnats, growing worthless gnats, normal worthless gnats, and decrepit worthless gnats. You are all equally worthless, but I suppose being capable of speech is a significant milestone for your kind."

'What exactly are you? If you're different creatures, how are you related to each other?'

"Why would I ever tell you?"

'Do you have anything better to do?' Naruto blinked as the voice went back to silence. He would've killed someone to make him shut up when he was younger. Now, it just felt like something was missing when he didn't say anything.

The moment Anko saw him from the waiting seat outside of his latest hospital room, she body flickered over. "Where were you?" She grabbed him by the face. "Why did your clones go all creepy?" She shook him. "Why did you punch your fucking explosive clone?!"

"S-S-Stop." He stepped back and shook his head properly to reset himself. "I think I've been pushing down things than dealing with them...and what you said about love really got to me."

"There is nothing wrong with you, but punching a fucking exploding clone is probably one of the stupidest things I have ever seen in my entire life."

He raised his recovering hand to rub the back of his head. "I wasn't thinking."

"No shit." She pulled him back in for a hug. "You still haven't told me where you were."

"I...was trying to see if Hinata was still here, but she checked out days ago."

Anko raised an eyebrow at the half-lie before wiggling them both. "Oh, I see."

"Please stop."

"Aww, it's okay. What were you going to say to her?" Her eyes narrowed. "You weren't going to ask her why she liked you, right? Don't be that idiot."

"How the hell is this supposed to work when I don't share the same feelings?"

"It doesn't. You say no to her if she ever manages to get it out, and you go your separate ways. Gentle or hard, it will haunt her forever."

Naruto tilted his head. "That kind of sounds like you're telling me to feel the same."

"I'm not." She pet him. "The two of you are a classic case of unrequited love. Tragic but beautiful. I only hope she doesn't go crazy and try to rape you."

"Hinata would never do that." He blushed.

"How well do you really know her?"

"Not well."

"Then don't write out having a Hyuga girl on the prowl for your dick." Anko patted his shoulder. "No worries. I'm here to make sure you get to that match as pure as you were when you first came into the hospital."

"I'm going to tell Kakashi we've been sleeping in the same bed together every night since he left me in your care." Naruto smirked.

She gulped. "Please don't."

"I don't know. It seems like the kind of thing he'd want to hear about and should. He, other than the old man, is the closest thing I have to a father."

"You've made your point. I'll lay off about the girl...just as soon as you tell me what you were going to talk about with her."

"Just talk." He shrugged. "Last time I saw her, she was coughing blood from her lungs, and I fucked up her fight with Neji; I know that sick guy already called it: I'm talking about what they were really fighting about."

"If people can change?"

Naruto nodded. "She's changed, and I… I'm not sure if I really have."

"What do you call going from a rabid punk to a punk looking for inner peace?"

"An identity crisis?"

"Well yeah, but it's a sign something's going on with you." Anko ruffled his hair. "You have changed. It's your decision to stay that way or not." Her eyes narrowed. "Now tell me how the hell you did the Explosive Shadow Clone Jutsu."

"It was pretty easy: I mean the hand sign is the same as the normal Shadow Clone Jutsu. All I had to do was focus on making a clone that wouldn't give any chakra back to me. It's what creates the explosion, right?"

"You figured that out on your own?"

"How else would you make a clone explode?" Naruto tried peeking into the inside of her coat. "That's not lined with paper bombs, is it?"

She scoffed. "When I say I want to go out with a bang, that's not what I mean. You figured out a jutsu by looking at it once."

"It's just the Shadow Clone Jutsu, the first thing I ever learned and always use. Weird I didn't figure it out sooner. Would've saved me a lot of trouble with giant snakes, ninjas above our rank, and my first mission."

"Not sure to be proud or terrified of you, kid. But we need to get you some new, fashionable clothes." Anko looked his bandaged body up and down before leading him away.

He groaned. "Sakura's going to kill me." He raised an eyebrow. "Where's Pervy Sage?"

"Scouting, really peeping outside. I'll tell him where to meet us." She created a shadow clone, which immediately darted off.

They left in the pursuit of fashion and were joined by the old man, still responsible and concerned enough to go with them, sooner rather than later

It was the day of the finals at last. They spent most of the time after the explosion incident lazing about as he recovered from his self-injury. Jiraiya saw no more reason to guard him with the massive influx of people and ninja coming in. Anko said she'd stick around but out of sight still in case of Orochimaru. Their charge, feeling anxious, went to the chilly practice field. While he was humiliated there, it was where Kakashi taught him what it meant to be a ninja and where he faced his first real challenge as one. A figure he did not expect to see waited by the posts.

"Hinata?" He called out.

She turned and blinked at him in a new vest and shirt over fishnet long-sleeves. "N-Naruto." Her eyes drifted to his bandaged hand. "You're still injured."

"No, this is from something else. You're the one still recovering." He looked to the wraps on her arms.

"I...saw you attack Neji."

He raised a hand to rub the back of his head. "Sorry, I ruined your fight. I of all people should've known to stay out of it but…" He sighed. "I have no excuses."

"You saw he was going to kill me." She murmured in realization at him lowering his hand to his heart.

"I wasn't thinking."

"...What are you doing here?"

Naruto shrugged. "Hell if I know. I've been waiting for this day for years, but I'm getting cold feet at the last moment."

"Why?" Her voice was soft and innocent.

"To be honest with you, I feel completely worthless." He raised a hand to tap his fingers against his forehead protector. "Ever since I was a kid, I felt like a worthless loser who'd never amount to anything or have anyone, but this made me happy because it made me feel like I was something." Looking down, he frowned. "I acted out, hurt people, and talked a lot of shit to make me feel better about myself, but I was never happy because no one appreciated who I was." He laughed, bitterness creeping in. "The me you saw on graduation day and during the first test is who I really am: someone who's terrified of failing to be anything when failing at that and everything else is all I'm used to." His eyes looked up to her wide blank ones. "That's the me in front of you right now. I'm scared, win or lose against Neji, I'm going to fail myself, and I don't know what to do."

"Every time you fail…you pick yourself up, right?"

"That's the only thing I can do."

Hinata smiled. "Then you'll be fine. You've always been strong. When everyone else doubted you, you've always believed in yourself. Only you know how much you're really worth, and I know, if that's what you really thought, you would have never made it this far." Her eyes were warm in spite of their blank appearance. "Don't look down on yourself for failing. Be proud of what you've overcome. Getting back up after failure is what true strength is."

"You…" A strange warm feeling emerged from his chest and washed over the rest of his body. Smiling, he chuckled. "You're right. I'm being an idiot." He tilted his head as he lifted his bandaged hand. "When I think about it, you've been around a lot when I was hurt or feeling down to patch me up and make me feel better." He paid her blushing face no mind. "I used to think you were pathetic." He grinned at her deflating. "But I actually really like you."

"I… I l–"

"Do you mind if I kill Neji?"

She blinked. "...What?"

"If Neji dies, would it bother you?" His lips thinned against each other. "There's a chance I might get carried away during the fight or just kill him for the hell of it."

"Please don't!" Her hand held her other by her chin in pleading.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

She looked down. "I know it is easy to despise him, but Neji...feels as worthless as you thought you were deep down." Her gaze met his. "If you want him to suffer, letting him live with the defeat is a bigger punishment than death."

"Wow! I never knew you were so ruthless, Hinata."

"That's not…" She drifted off at the admiration in his eyes.

Naruto turned to the direction of the arena and started walking. "Make sure to watch my match!" He kept smiling, though he wondered why he confessed such a thing to her of all people. A realization made the warmth he felt even greater. Out of everyone in his past, she was the only one who never looked at him negatively or said anything to hurt him. It made his heart beat faster, and he couldn't stop it.

"Aww," Anko said from a branch above where they were. She waved at the blushing girl still below. "And here I thought there was no chance between you two!"

"You… You're!" Her Byakugan activated out of sheer anger. She should've known the moment she saw the fishnets. It was a mark of ownership, like a dog pissing on a tree.

She raised an eyebrow. "What?" She blinked and grinned. "Oh yeah! I've been taking care of him while his sensei was busy." Licking her lips, she narrowed her eyes. "That boy is so sweet, don't you think?"

Hinata's veiny eyes twitched. "You dirty bitch!"

"I knew you were hiding something!" She laughed. "Tell me, how long do you think you can wait? Might seem like he's interested now, but life goes on. The cute brat has a type, and you're not quite it." She looked her up and down. "Maybe in a few years: still far too long. If you don't do anything, you'll lose him forever."

"I…" She relaxed. "I was just about to tell him."

Anko scoffed. "You let him walk away. You're a kunoichi now; your wants and needs are your responsibility."

"I know. I'll tell him the next time I see him."

"You better or it might really be me who steals your precious Naruto away from you." She laughed at the girl shivering in anger. "See you in the stadium." She flickered away.

That day would haunt everyone for the rest of their lives.

AN: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! We're here! Oh my god, you have no idea. I've had nearly everything planned out since the beginning leading to this point. If you know, you'll see. This is it. I'm surprised by how much in the draft of my mind made it in.

Very Naruto-centric chapter, I know. Last of the slow ones for what will be a while. It was nice while it lasted, but that could be said of most things.

Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of a review or PM.