Anko's walk back to her house was as cold as it was lonesome. She already knew she was getting a little too used to the kid. In just a short amount of time, the moments they'd have together would be more than halved. Better she kept the emptiness close than far. Her days of having breakdowns over it were long over.

When she unlocked and walked through the front door, she sighed. "I'm home." She took off her coat to carry over her shoulder. "Wonder if that coffee is still good."

"Mitarashi."

She drew a kunai from her coat pocket and threw it at the voice emerging from the hall on reflex. "You?!"

Danzo caught it by the handle. "There is no need for hostilities." He flipped it over and held it out by the blade. "I came to discuss the Nine-Tails' jinchuriki."

"So help me, if you touch one hair on his head, I will fucking murder you!" Her eyes narrowed. "Or better yet, I'll tell everyone what you and Orochimaru were up to."

"You mistake my intentions again."

"I know just what kind of person you are, Shimura: you're the kind of idiot who thinks he can control the uncontrollable. Orochimaru for Fourth Hokage? What the hell were you thinking?"

"He would've stayed in the village where he could be monitored and placated by the status of Hokage. Minato was a strong candidate, but we all know how that ended. Now Orochimaru is an enemy of the village, Hiruzen is dead, Minato is dead, and the Nine-Tails jinchuriki is an emotionally damaged child."

"That's…" Anko drifted off as she realized the truth in his words. "Well, fuck. Not everyone can stomach having a piece of shit like Orochimaru in charge." She flinched. "And I know the irony in me of all people saying that."

"Now is not the time to dwell over the past, Mitarashi. What concerns us is the present and the fog of our future."

Taking a deep breath, she let out another sigh. "You know you don't have to take the whole Shinobi of Darkness thing so literally? Get the fuck out of the murky hall; you look ridiculous."

He followed her advice. "I can tell you care for the boy deeply. You and Hiruzen saw something in him you were willing to risk your lives and potentially the lives of others for." His eye narrowed slightly. "While I disagree, your belief in him and presence in his life have a profound influence on his mental state. Hiruzen's death nearly released the Nine-Tails. He may be capable of forcing it back at eight, but I would rather not risk such a calamity if you were to die."

"What exactly are you saying?"

"It's in the best interests of the village you stay close to him, and you are kept safe."

Anko scowled. "Don't tell me you're going to have those creepy Root assholes follow us around."

"The boy looses control when others mistrust him so no. The next Hokage isn't likely to send you on any missions whatsoever."

"Who's it gonna be?"

"Tsunade."

"...Blowjob Slug Princess," she deadpanned before walking over.

"I am unfamiliar with that particular name of hers but yes."

"The council is reeeally scraping the bottom of the barrel, aren't they?"

"Our other best choice was Jiraiya."

"Oh my fuck!"

"Indeed."

Anko scoffed as she took the kunai from his hand. "Why don't you just take the damn seat already?" She shook her head. "I know you'd keep everyone on a short leash, but fucking hell, that's better than giving all our money to the loan sharks."

"I have made too many enemies throughout my long life, and the village is weak. Our enemies are already watching us like vultures. Tsunade will buy us time to gather our strength. If she were to return to her old self, she will be more than a benefit to the village."

"Good luck with that."

"Jiraiya is being tasked with retrieving her."

"Seriously, it's like you guys want to run the village into the ground." She raised an eyebrow. "Why not Kakashi or one of the clan heads?"

"Inexperience, mostly. Most of the current heads' names hardly evoke respect. And Hiashi taking the position would open hostilities with the Cloud."

"Fuck those greedy assholes; we're probably going to war with them soon regardless."

Danzo nodded. "We need time to recover before then."

"And you think we'll need the Nine-Tails, huh?"

"The Cloud has two perfect jinchuriki. My spies in the Rock report their jinchuriki having similar yet imperfect mastery of their Tailed Beasts. The Sand's was defeated by ours without a single sign of the Nine-Tails' chakra, if the reports are accurate. The Three Tails is still loose and the Six Tails jinchuriki is still rogue. The Seven Tails is a non-factor so long as the Waterfall remains passive."

"Naruto doesn't like using it. You should hear him talk about power: he'd rather die than ever rely on someone or something else to fight for him. War?" She laughed. "He's up for it just to test himself. Don't count on him acting out of desire to protect the village."

"Mitarashi, I, for the sake of the village, am asking for your help."

"Never thought you'd say those words. I… I'll do what I can for his and everyone else's sake, but I promise you you're dead or will wish you were, if you try to manipulate him." She stowed the kunai back in one of her coat pockets.

"That is why I am leaving him to you." Danzo turned, walked out into her yard, and disappeared in a body flicker.

"...I can never get a read on that fucking guy."

The promise Sarutobi asked him to make was fulfilled, in his own way. She was not under his influence, and he knew he could not manipulate her into doing the same to the boy even if he tried. Though he'd never admit it, his old rival was right: trying to bring him into his fold would only make his condition worse. If only he knew it was too late.

From a secure vantage point, Jiraiya of the Legendary Sannin spied on his target far below. He intended to watch over his prize student's only child, but it wasn't as if he was leaving just yet. Anko could keep an eye on him for a little while longer. She'd probably insist on coming along. The issue was she didn't like him close to the boy, which meant there was a chance she'd try running off with him. It was a small chance yet still a chance. He recognized her adoration of him as the same adoration she held towards Orochimaru. While he understood where it was coming from, it had the potential to twist into something worse, especially since the old man keeping her on the straight and narrow was gone.

"Still indulging in foolishness," an old, familiar voice said from behind.

"Oh come on! I've been away from home for too long." He turned to see two old comrades of his fallen sensei. "If you've come to appoint me Hokage, my answer is hell no."

Koharu scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself."

"We've come to ask you to retrieve Tsunade," Homura said.

Jiraiya stood up. "Oh… That was exactly the person I was going to bring up to take the hat."

"Can you convince her to abandon her ways? If not that, at least to return to the village."

"Someone needs to break the news to her, if the grapevine hasn't told her already." He looked down. "Might be the guilt trip of the century, but this might be what finally gets through to her."

"If it doesn't, she isn't worthy of being Hokage," Koharu said.

"We don't really have much of a choice, if you're considering her as our best candidate."

Homura nodded. "The village has relied on you from time and time again, Jiraiya. We leave the matter of Tsunade in your hands. An anbu escort has been arranged to safeguard you on your journey."

"That will be unnecessary: I have my own entourage in mind. You don't mind if I borrow Naruto for a while, do you?"

"The jinchuriki?" Koharu asked.

"Do you know any other Naruto in this village?"

"Why him of all people in these unsure times?" Homura's eyes narrowed. "Do you suspect the seal to be under threat?"

He smiled. "Sure, something like that. He did go eight tails out of nine. Not exactly a good indicator of its stability at the moment."

"Why do I feel like you're playing your games?" Koharu shot him a look.

"I'm always playing games. I'm a spymaster, remember?" He held out his telescope and began bouncing on one of his feet. "Or have you forgotten!?" He choked down laughter when they walked away, already aware of what he was about to do. "Dried up old geezers." Turning to the direction of the Mitarashi residence, he hummed. "I'll take care of him, old man." His gaze steeled. "I'm never failing Minato again."

Deep down, he wanted to believe his own words, but he already knew he was a failure.

The purpose of a bed was to lay one's weary body down and rest their tired eyes. It was not for moping nor staring up at the ceiling wondering if you'd ever see a specific cuddle buddy again. Whatever god of the world have mercy on the fool who'd tell her that though. She was having a hard time sleeping with him gone.

And then rapid footsteps thumped through the hall to the Mitarashi residence bedroom.

"You pi–" She lifted her upper body to blink at the grinning, blond-haired boy in mid-air. "Huh?"

Naruto embraced her and rubbed his whiskered cheek against hers. "Anko-sensei!"

"You okay?" She asked, giggling at his lovable behavior.

"Better than ever!" He pecked her cheek before pulling himself back to stare at her blushing face with bright blue eyes. "I understand now."

"Understand what?"

"Anko-sensei, you'll care for me no matter what, right?"

"What are you talking about?" She winced at his frown. "I'll always care about you, Naruto." She grinned as he did. "Now, what happened?"

He laughed. "I just let it all out and knew what I wanted…" He shook his head. "No, what I had to do. I'm sorry for being a whiny little bitch."

"You were grieving!" She held him close again and frowned. "To be honest, you're handling it better than I am."

"There's no need for you or anyone else to be strong for me; I'm at peace again."

Tears fell from Anko's eyes, something she looked away to hide "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that."

"It's okay." He looked up and lapped at the watery streams. "Salty."

"What are you doing!?" She giggled.

"Taking away your pain, like you did for me." Naruto pushed her against the bed. "We can do something else together to help with that."

Blushing, she nudged him aside. "Oh stop!"

"You like it though!"

"Well, I shouldn't!"

"You…" He cringed. "You don't think of the Fourth when I make moves on you, right?"

Anko shot him a look. "I told you you're cuter."

"Good. I'm sure I'll...end up looking way sexier than..." He yawned and closed his eyes.

She pulled Naruto close to join him in a peaceful slumber.

They both were certain they wouldn't have many moments together in the near future. In their far, it was questionable depending on the tides of life and the roads they'd take. Both would enjoy the other's company for as long as they had it. A parting would hurt, but it was inevitable. Each warm moment they'd share would ripple through the rest of their lives. Unknown to them, each hoped the other would understand. They both sought to betray the other's ideals and beliefs for themselves. The betrayals were formed from their shared loneliness.

On the top of the Leaf Village wall, two men in black robes with red trimmings and clouds on them wearing straw hats looked down on the repairs being made to the infrastructure. Most of it was patched up, albeit makeshift due to quick demand. Ninja from every rank sprinted about in a hurry. They would've been noticed if there wasn't a sizable enough work load for them to do.

"I can't believe the 'God of Shinobi' is finally dead," the one with blue skin said.

"Everyone dies." A man with fully matured Sharingan took in the sight. "It's only a matter of when."

He scoffed. "Except for Kakuzu maybe. One-Tail's probably gone by now; feeling sentimental?"

"Not at all: the Nine-Tails is still here."

The blue man patted the wrapped blade-like thing on his back. "Are you sure about this? A bit reckless of you, Itachi."

"He's still a boy. The Third was the only one here who could really pose a threat to us. We'll be fine."

"And if he really did go up to eight without the seal breaking?" His blue hand returned to his side.

"I wouldn't give so much credence to rumor, but we will deal with it if it comes to that. There is no better time to retrieve him." The Sharingan eyes focused on his partner's shark-like ones. "Do you trust me, Kisame?"

"Way more than I probably should."

"Then follow my lead." Itachi disappeared in a body flicker.

The rogue member of the Seven Swordsman of the Mist followed him to the ground. "You know, if this doesn't spark a war, coming out with the kid will."

"That's our goal, isn't it?"

"Well, you know as much as I do when it comes down to that." He hummed. "The Mist has a fresh Mizukage looking to change the village's image, the Cloud's Raikage tried to steal an heiress to the Hyuga Clan, and the Stone is the Stone."

"Conflict is inevitable, regardless of change or lack-thereof."

"You're such a buzzkill, you know that?"

Itachi's eyes scanned the familiar yet unfamiliar streets of the village he grew up in. "So I've been told."

"Can we at least stop for sweets?" The Swordsman laughed.

"Sure."

He froze, which caused his partner to stop as well. "Did… Did you just make a joke?"

"No." He pointed to a nearby dango shop. "I heard they have good dumplings here years ago."

"Well, why not?" Kisame grinned.

The two had to be the oddest duo in the entire organization. Unlike the others, they lacked a theme. All of them were traitors to their villages as far as they knew. Neither shared anything in common save being shinobi and traitors. They were lumped with each other. Hostilities existed for a brief time before they got used to each other's presence as well as peculiarities. One could almost mistake them as friends, a status both would deny. Little did either know the irony of their dynamic mirroring two boys they were bound to encounter.

For breakfast, Anko insisted on dango, as she did every for every other meal. It's not like they subsisted solely on it through the portion of a month they trained. Dango dumplings were her favorite, but she liked to branch out from time to time. Ichiraku Ramen turned out to be pretty good, even though it was false take-out ramen. Naruto insisted on it again to be denied still: she only enjoyed the same thing when it was her favorite food.

"I don't mind dango, but I need to eat something else," the boy said, walking alongside his odd sensei on the village streets.

She shook her head, eyes hunting for food shops, as she kept it on the swivel. "If I can live off dango and you can live off ramen, you can live off dango."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"It makes perfect sense." She ruffled his hair. "You are my mini-me. Except you're blond, cute rather than sexy, whisker-cheeked, and a boy."

He laughed. "Making it sound a lot like you care for me as a weird way of caring for yourself, but I understand that."

"I…just couldn't stand seeing someone else go through the same thing." Anko looked down.

"Understand that too." He raised a hand to fold over the one she had on his head. "Pretty sure that's what stopped me from offing Neji."

She raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"When I was a kid, he destroyed me, so I picked myself back up and destroyed him… I guess that's not really the same." The look in those blank eyes spoke to something in him, but he wasn't sure how to say it or if he wanted to.

"Do you think he would've done the same for you?"

He shrugged. "I won. Kind of doesn't matter what I think. Knowing how he tried to kill Hinata, probably not though."

She grinned. "So." Turning to look at him, she snickered mischievously. "Whe–

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked, standing outside a shop with the rest of the team.

Itachi and Kisame sitting on a bench inside hastened their eating but kept it to a limit for prolonged enjoyment. The former's dated info was sound: the dango dumplings were good. While the tea lacked a bit of sweetness, it was refreshing to drink. They'd stay until they were threatened outright.

Kakashi laughed as he pointed his thumb back at a red-faced Kurenai. "Anko! We were just talking about you while these two were out on a not-a-date."

"We're just out for some sweets," Asuma protested.

Sakura giggled. "Sure!" She examined the flushed face of the female jonin. "'Sweets.'"

"That's a good way of assuring you won't get master class genjutsu training, but I can't fault you for your desire to make such a 'phenomenally witty' joke," Kakashi said, including air-quotes.

"Wait, what?"

"Eh, he can probably teach you more than a thing or two." Anko laughed for a few seconds before the serious look in the other jonin's eyes and their glances towards the shop interior signaled trouble was afoot.

Naruto and the rest of Team 7 were not ignorant of such expressions. "I guess the three of us should let you four catch up?"

Kakashi eye-smiled at the boy's other sensei. "Stay with them, will you? His eye opened and glanced at the cloaked figures finishing up inside.

She clucked her tongue. "Okay."

Two black and red blurs left the shop followed by three of the jonin flickering after them.

"Shouldn't we all just gang up on them?" Sakura asked.

"It's two elite jonin and Kakashi 'Fucking' Hatake: they're fine."

Sasuke hummed. "And if they're not?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah." He scoffed. "What if those two are actually super strong? We are kind of weak without the old man now."

"Have some faith in your lamer sensei! The man tore Orochimaru in half when he tried to kidnap you." Anko ruffled his hair.

"How did he do that?"

"Lightning Blade," she lied. "Just ripped right through him." She looked to all three of the genin. "Now, who's up for some dango?!"

"No," they said in unison.

Anko pouted. "You're no fun."

While they battled with words over what they were going to have for breakfast, another battle commenced not that far away.

Asuma, Kurenai, and Kakashi faced down the two not-quite strangers by a canal some ways from their previous location. Their outfits were far too distinct for a reconnaissance or espionage mission. Even if so, their behavior was akin to that of a tourist than a spy. It seemed almost as if they were deliberately letting themselves be detected. Hostilities were due regardless of their intentions.

"Kisame Hoshigaki." Kakashi lifted his forehead protector and looked to the other. "And Itachi Uchiha."

The Hidden Mist rogue laughed. "The Copycat Ninja knows my name! It's an honor to be killing you." He raised his hairless brow at his partner's look.

"We didn't come here to fight: we came looking for something."

"And that is?" Asuma asked, readying his chakra blades regardless.

"The Fourth Hokage's legacy."

Kakashi twitched. He more than had his fill of dangers and meddling in his precious student's life. "No." His Sharingan swirled into a slanted pinwheel. "Just die already." Both eyes widened when Itachi's left swirled into a similar, shuriken-like wheel.

The world faded into a clouded red void.

"What the?" He looked down on his body and found himself tied to a cross, the land it was posted on barren for miles to see. "Genjutsu." He looked up and saw a crimson moon.

Itachi appeared before him with a long blade in hand. "I'm impressed. I didn't know it was possible for anyone with no Uchiha blood to awaken the Mangekyo Sharingan. You are worthy of your name, but can that borrowed eye see through this?"

"I can't!" The insight bestowed by his Sharingan no longer existed. It was as if his dead comrade's eye was plucked out and his old one was repaired in its rightful socket.

"All of space, all of time, and every piece of matter is under my control here." He pulled back his arm. "You will feel the sensation of getting stabbed for 72 hours." He thrusted the blade into him and another Itachi took its place to do the same.

Kakashi's eyes widened with every stab. Every feeling of cold steel breaching the integrity of his form was agonizing. It was the pain he could tolerate the least as well. He was lucky it was a subpar interrogation method, but his situation was outright torture for the sake of it. If his opponent's words were true, there was no escape in death for him either. He felt quite possibly one of the greatest sensations of relief when they finally stopped.

"We have 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds left."

"Fuck!"

"Indeed." The stabbings resumed.

To the Copycat Ninja, it was what he imagined hell to be like. He could hear the voice of his captor count down the time after what felt like ages. None of it was real, but it was to his mind. The prospect of oblivion became ever so appealing with every drawn-out second. Some people could grow numb to pain. If that was true, he was certain that particular adjustment made by the human mind was being denied to him. A part of him wished he had info to give and another part of him hated that he would.

"Congratulations," Itachi said. "Time's up."

He fell to his knees on what felt like heavenly soft cement. "Don't…. You…" He collapsed, incapable of supporting himself.

"Want me to kill you? Seems like you could use it." Kisame burst into laughter.

Asuma glanced at his fallen comrade. "What the hell just happened?"

"Genjutsu," Kurenai answered. "Not sure what kind, but it doesn't look good."

Kisame grabbed the hilt of his massive wrapped sword. "He'll probably never wake up again; let me help with that."

Asuma blocked the finishing blow with his chakra blades. "Kurenai, grab Kakashi!" While she dragged him out of the way, he slipped out and slash-punched the air with his right, channeling chakra into the blade.

"Wh–" The world went black as his eyes and nose bridge were cut in half.

He shifted his grip on his left so the elongated blade jutted forward before he punched, aiming to decapitate his helpless foe. A flurry of shuriken aimed at him by the other forced him back though. When the Sharingan eyes shifted to his lover, he flickered in their way.

"You were careless, Kisame."

The shark-like man lifted the bandaged blade to his head. "I was." Scale-like protrusions shot out and into him. "Won't happen again." Chakra rushed into his wounds, removing any trace of their existence. "Still can't see though." He felt a hand on his shoulder before his vision was restored. He blinked with restored eyes and glanced at his partner. "What would I do without you?"

"Die." Itachi glanced at Asuma going through hand signs and nudged his head towards the body of water.

A plume of gunpowder consumed the two from the Leaf jonin's vision before a bite of his flint-lined teeth ignited it. He caught his chakra blades and kept his guard up, more than wise enough to know the consequences of dropping it. While he'd never admit it, Kakashi was far deadlier than he was. The fact he was down meant he'd have to give more than his all to survive. Kurenai watching him was giving him the mother of all motivations too.

Kisame laughed, standing on the water, when the smoke cleared. "Your girlfriend ran off!"

"She's still here." The Uchiha beside him looked at her Optic Illusory hidden spot with help from his Sharingan. "A genjutsu specialist." He stuck his hand to the rogue Mist ninja's shoulder. "They're concentrating on you rather than splitting between us; wise."

"Better finish it here then." He went through four hand seals out of his jutsu's regular ten, conjuring a massive shark composed of the water beneath them.

What was intended to obliterate all three of the jonin was in turn obliterated by a surprise fourth.

He clucked his tongue. "That was going to be so satisfying." He focused on the new figure standing before him. "Who the hell are you?!"

"The Leaf's Prideful Green Beast!" The bowl-cut man posed for added effect. "Might Guy!"

Asuma nearly spat out his cigarette. "Now is not the time!"

"Relax! Reinforcements are on their way!"

"That's just fine! More cattle to the slaughter!" The Mist ninja grabbed the hilt of his sword.

"Kisame," Itachi said, "stop. This has gone too far. Weakened as they are, we can't fight a war without being grievously injured."

He relented, returning his hand to his side. "You're right." He chuckled. "To think, this all started because we wanted to eat something sweet."

"You wanted to, and I made the mistake of indulging you."

"Oh come on! You were hungry for them too."

They flickered away as quickly as they came, leaving the four jonin alone.

"I applaud your spirit!" Guy clapped his hands together as he approached the Sarutobi clan head. "Fending off two tough opponents on your own! Those reinforcements were a lie, by the way! I am them!"

Asuma put away his chakra blades, shook his head, and pointed his thumb to where he was sure his girlfriend was. "Actually, I had help."

"Guy!" Kurenai dispelled the genjutsu concealing her and their fallen comrade's presence. "We need t–" Her eyes were forced shut by a powerful gust of wind.

"My eternal rival, no!" He picked up the silver-haired man to hold him close.

She raised a twitching eyebrow. "H-He's alive, just comatose!"

"Won't be for long." Asuma shook his head at the tightening grip.

Tears left Guy's eyes. "Hold on, Kakashi! I won't fail you too!" He turned to the hospital.

"His wounds are purely mental." Kurenai scoffed.

"Then I'm sure they'll have people who can help! He told me himself as much: there is healing ninjutsu for anything!"

Asuma sighed. "And we don't have it right now, but we will." He looked down. "Tsunade's coming back to take the position of Hokage."

"Wait, what?" The two other conscious jonin said.

"Yeah, I know; our other choice was Jiraiya, Hiashi didn't want it, and you're holding our third choice, who I really hope isn't a vegetable." He flinched as the fallen's best friend bawled.

Kurenai put a hand on the weeping taijutsu master's shoulder. "If anyone can heal him or Lee, it's Tsunade." She looked to Kakashi. "Besides, it's Hatake: he can be just as stubborn as his students. Let's take him back to his place."

"I'll lead the way!" Guy disappeared with a dust cloud.

"I reeeeally hope Tsunade gets here soon because I don't think that guy can take much more." Asuma smoked what was left of his cigarette, let it fall, and stomped the embers out. "Also, Naruto is going to lose it again."

"He's not dead," Kurenai protested.

"Well, he went eight tails when dad died, Kakashi seemed extra protective of him, he's probably still dealing with grief, and both of us saw his clones beating the shit out of each other for some reason."

She hummed. "Maybe we can have Hinata break the news to him?"

He chuckled. "Playing matchmaker at a time like this?" He smirked at her blushing face before taking out his latest pack of cigarettes.

"We both saw how she calmed him down during the preliminaries!" She glared at the fresh cigarette he put in his mouth.

"It was the one time." Asuma took out his lighter and lit it. "And he wasn't showing any signs of the Nine-Tailed Fox before." He slipped the mini-combustion device back into his pocket.

She shook her head as she made the tiger seal. "That's going to kill you one of these days." Kurenai flickered after Might Guy.

"Didn't kill my old man, but I'll die a happy one so long as I'm with you." He grinned before joining her.

The last and sole surviving member of the extremely minor Hatake clan was resting somewhat peacefully in his bed, best friend weeping at his side. They debated between going in to comfort him and informing the others of what just occurred. A game of Rock-Paper-Scissors was played with Asuma losing, so he had to console Leaf's sorrowful Green Beast while Kurenai alerted the other shinobi. She made sure to tell them to keep word of it away from any member of Team 7: one was seemingly already in grief, another had every reason to go off on a vengeful pursuit against the man with the Sharingan, and the last one may have been all too for the revenge. While she was uncertain Anko would hear the news, she was confidant that she would act in the interests of the child as well as the village, unaware of how much that really conflicted.

AN: We all know what comes after this arc. Granted, it will have a grace period. I was debating between having things play out exactly as they did and focus on Team 7 having breakfast slice of life, but my urge to write more action won out. End result is somewhat the same but the course of events is different. Of course, I'm foreshadowing a lot of things.

Meant to get this done earlier. Almost broke my 1-2 day update streak. Really didn't want to feel that shame, especially with no real reason to. This is super late where I'm from. Happy New Year!

We are now over 300 followers! I hope to write for more people, and I am grateful for your continued readership. Really, you have no idea how much someone reading my writing means to me.

Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of a review or PM.