Chapter two
I sat at Tiffany Calls dining table watching as she checked on dinner in the oven.
"Just a few more minutes dear. Embry shouldn't be too far away either," Tiffany says, returning to her seat at the table.
"I thought he was usually finished work by five," I say looking at the wall clock that was nearing seven.
"He's been doing a lot of over time at the moment, trying to save up a bit," Tiffany informs me.
"True." I see Tiffany's eyes keep flicking to look at my hands resting on top of my stomach, and I realise after a few moments I was the reason Embry was trying to save money, well not me but the baby. He was a good man; he would do right by this child.
"Have you started buying stuff for the baby's room yet?" Tiffany asked.
"I still need to move before it arrives, so I don't want to buy too much to just have to move it again," I explained.
"Of course, any luck finding a place yet?"
"Not yet but something will turn up." I only had two months left to get out of my current Forks unit, but I had yet to find a new place I liked and could afford. Embry had offered me money, but I turned it down. Tiffany opened her mouth to comment but Embry picked that time to walk through the front door. He was covered in dirt and grease and looked exhausted.
"Hi," he said kicking off his boots. I was surprised Tiffany even let him into the house so dirty, the place always looked so clean I never expected he would get away with treading dirt into the house.
"Hi." His eyes flicked over to us, and he offered me a weak smile.
"Embry go get cleaned up, dinner is almost ready," Tiffany said going back to the oven.
"Yeah, I'll be back in a sec," he said before ducking down the hallway. He returned several minutes later after the food had all been laid out.
"-Gracie is a nice name too, girl names are a lot easier than boy names." Tiffany had spent the time while Embry was gone talking over baby names, she liked the sound of. "It's also important to remember the name has to be good for both a child and an adult. As they are stuck with it their whole life."
"My mother named me after a colour. Trust me when I say I'm not going to carry on that tradition."
"Oh dam, I was looking forward to having a son called Purple," Embry half laughed taking a seat at the table.
"Sorry to disappoint."
"I guess he'll just have to be Embry junior then," Embry smiled taking a bite of his food.
"Embry is a good girls name," I commented. Both Embry and Tiffany gave me disagreeing looks. We ate in mostly silence. I praised Tiffany on her food, and she proceeded to tell me everything she used to marinate the beef and how she cooked it; I didn't have the heart to tell her all I could taste was garlic and it was making me nauseous.
"You don't look too good," Embry said looking at me with concern.
"Charming comments like that are why we are no longer together," I said with an eye roll.
"No seriously Blue, you look pail."
"I'm fine, it's just been a long day. I better get going. Thank you for dinner Tiffany," I said standing up.
"No problem, dear. Please come by any time."
"I'll walk you out," Embry said jumping up from his seat before I could protest. I grabbed my coat and walked outside. The cold night air instantly made me feel a lot better. Embry shut the front door behind himself, and we walked towards my car.
"Sorry about her," Embry apologised looking down at his feet.
"It's fine," I said as we reach my car.
"Look I've got to go to Seattle next weekend, and I was hoping you would come along. So, we could pick out some things for the baby," he talked quickly looking everywhere but at me.
"Embry-" he cut me off.
"I'm happy to keep everything here until you find a place and I'll pay for everything. You don't have to worry about anything." He offered.
"Embry-" I try to get his attention again but i was cut off once more.
"You're upset," Embry stated.
"No, I'm not upset. But I don't feel comfortable with you paying for everything and you know that."
"The baby is going to be here in three months, and nothing is organised." I could tell it was really starting to worry him. "What if it comes early, they can do that you know? I was reading a book that said-"
"Embry," I said loudly cutting him off. "If it makes you feel better, I'll come look at stuff with you, but we're not buying anything."
"Thank you," he said sounding a little too relieved. It always surprised me how worried he could be about the baby's arrival. It wasn't like he was the one who had to give birth.
"I'll talk to you later," I said climbing into my car.
"Good night, Blue," he said stepping back from my car.
"Night Embry," I said with a tight smile before shutting my door and starting the car. Embry watched me drive off.
I slowly drove through the winding roads towards the town of Forks. I was born in La Push, but the area didn't seem like home. My parents separated when I was only a toddler and I moved to Seattle with my mum. I had hoped moving back to the area would be good, the idea of a quieter lifestyle was very appealing. But in a city no one knew you or cared who you were. While in a town this small it seemed like everyone knew everything about you. I didn't have the heart to tell Embry I was considering moving back to Seattle.
I pulled up next to my current one-bedroom unit in the centre of Forks. It was small but rent was unbelievably cheap and I was hardly there, so it was plenty big enough for me. But soon it wouldn't just be me I have to worry about.
...
"How was your week?" Embry asked, apparently the silence had finally gotten to him. It was early Saturday morning, and I was sitting in the passenger seat of Embry's truck on our way to Seattle. I had few clothes left that fitted around my growing stomach, so I was dressed in a long black Cotten skirt and flowery red top. I had a knitted black coat also for when I had to get out of the warm truck. I hated the whole outfit; it was frumpy and made me look even bigger than I already was.
"Fine. I took Billy to the beach yesterday, he seemed to enjoy that. He's insisting I come to the bonfire tomorrow night."
"Definitely! You'll love it," Embry's face lit up at the mention of the bonfire.
"I was hoping to get some studying done tomorrow," I said watching trees fly by outside.
"You can study any time, you'll enjoy the bonfire, I promise." Embry smiled brightly.
"I'll think about it," I said already knowing I didn't want to go. I had been to a couple of bonfires since my return but not since my bump had started showing. The last thing I wanted was to deal with the awkward moments when people try to congratulate me and Embry on making a baby that was definitely not planned for. Embry allowed me a full three minutes of silence before he started talking again.
"I was thinking we should stop by your mother's shop today so I could meet her."
"No." I said immediately, my eyes snapping to look at him.
"Why not? I thought it would be better then having to introduce myself to her when she first comes to meet the baby."
"No, it's going to be awkward." Just the idea of it made me cringe. The shop Embry referred to was my mother's true pride and joy. A small flower and candle store surrounded by other small boutiques and cafes. If her unwed house of a daughter was to walk in there during business hours, I could only imagine how that would affect sales. Or at least that's what she would tell me. I could instantly see her blaming me for scaring off one of a regular customers with my gorky outfit. Or God forbid I bumped something while trying to navigate my stomach through those small shelves. I could just imagine Embry in there, it would look like a bull in a China shop.
"Are you embarrassed of me?" He asked.
"What? No. Of course not. If anything, I'm embarrassed of my mother. You should be grateful I don't want you to meet her." I tried smiling but I don't think it worked.
"I'm going to have to meet her one-day Blue." He said seriously.
"I know and you will, just not today." I hugged my stomach and tried to think of something else to talk about. "Oh, I forgot to ask you last week. My car is making a funny sound when I start it up would you be able to check it out sometime. When you're not busy?"
"Of course, I can look at it when we get back to Fork's. What type of sound is it?" Cars were always a good topic change with Embry.
"Umm I don't know how to say it like a rattle. Chica chica thump?" I shrugged.
"Chica, Chica thump?" He asked, a wide grin growing on his face.
"I told you I don't know how to say it. You will just have to hear it yourself."
"Sure, no problem."
…
Embry was by far the most patient man I had ever met. Not only did he not complain when I made a detour to look at clothes after lunch, he encouraged it. For over two hours he stood around as I tried on all the ill-fitting maternity clothes. Most of the things I tried on got put back on the shelf, but I still managed to fill three bags with items that fitted and weren't hideous. Embry insisted on carrying the bags as well even though they weren't heavy. I would like to say I was just as patient with him when it came to looking at all the baby items as well, but I wasn't. The cribs, the prams, the bottles, the toys, and all the other things that went along with caring for a little human. It was much too real for me. I lasted five minutes before demanding we leave.
The drive home was made in silence. I expected Embry to speak but he stayed silent. When his truck finely stopped in front of my house, I was sure he would say something, but he kept his mouth shut. I got out of the truck, and he followed suit getting out and grabbing my few bags off the back seat. I opened the front door to my unit, and he walked in placing the bags down on the couch next to a stack of books I had spent last night studying. I stood in the doorway and didn't move when he turned back towards the doorway.
"I'm sorry it just became a bit to real for me when I saw the baby stuff." I said breaking the silence.
"I hate to tell you Blue, but this is real. Sooner or later that baby will be here wether you want it or not. I know it wasn't planned but I'm really starting to think you don't want it." His words were like a knife stabbing straight into my heart. I could see the instant flash of regret in his eyes. "Blue I'm sorry I didn't mean-"
"No Embry it's fine." I shut the front door and jested to the small dining table and chairs that took up most of my kitchen. "I think we should talk."
"Blue I'm sorry I didn't mean-" I cut him off again.
"This isn't my first pregnancy," as soon as I said it, I instantly felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
"What?" Embry looked confused and I couldn't blame him. He dropped down into one of the chairs and I take a seat on another next to him.
"Last February me and my longtime boyfriend Josh found out we were going to have a baby. It wasn't planned but we had talked about having kids and getting married, so we weren't to upset. In August we were in a car accident. Josh died on impact; I told you about that before, but I never told you I lost a baby that night as well. A little girl. We had already picked out the name Lila, the nursery was all set up, my hospital bag was already by the front door waiting for the big day." I swatted the tears away from my eyes hating them. "I sold everything and moved out here, there was to many memories there. I guess I'm just scared it could happen again. I can't pack up another nursery Embry. I should have told you sooner." I'm surprised when Embry lifts me off my chair and onto his lap. He hugs me tightly and I cling to him. I barrier my head in his shoulder and try to will the tears to stop. I was sure I had cried myself out of tears months ago. I hated the feeling of crying, the ragged breathing and the inability to stop the tears.
"You're okay, you're okay. I'm so sorry that happened to you," Embry whispered in my ear. I don't know how long we sat there for. Eventually the tears stopped but I didn't let go of Embry and he didn't let go of me. I didn't want to move; I didn't want to say goodbye and be left all alone. My stomach kicked and I flinched in surprise.
"What's wrong?" Embry said leaning away from me so he could see my face.
"It's kicking," I whispered. His face dropped.
"Really?" He asked. I nodded grabbing his hands and pressing them to my stomach. His eyes grew wide. "I feel it." I laugh placing my hand next to his. "Does it hurt?"
"No, it's just… odd." I smile as it keeps up a steady kick. "I love this baby more then anything else in the world. I'm sorry if it didn't seem that way."
"Don't be sorry. After what you went through, I can't blame you for feeling the way you do. No one should go through anything like that." The kicking stopped but Embry didn't move his hand away.
"I don't think I'm ever going to be ready to look at baby stuff or at least not soon. I'm happy for you to just buy whatever you like for the baby. Just tell me how much it cost, and we can go halves."
"Are you sure? We can wait-"
"No, we can't. This baby is going to want out soon and I'm happy with whatever you pick. Don't tell me anything about it."
"Okay but if you change your mind, let me know."
"I guess you should be going home soon. Your mum will be wondering where you are." I regretfully pulled myself from his arms and stood up.
"Okay. If you need anything just call." He said standing up. He towered over me by a good foot, and I had to look up at him to see his face.
"Thanks Embry I really couldn't do this without you."
"I'll see you tomorrow." I was surprised when he kissed my forehead. "Sleep well." He whispered and then he was gone. I missed him instantly.