Scarlet Justice - ep. 115
"Flower of Heaven"
[Sweet Child of Mine: Feature]

The carriage slows to a stop, and I see the door open. There are several men in white coats outside, and I make room for them to come in and move Emi. They put her into a wheelchair gently and move her at a quick pace, through the hospital entrance and down the wide halls.

It's loud as I follow. Doctors and nurses talk over each other as we move, trying to determine what is going on and how best to tackle it. We pass through swinging doors a few times before turning into a room. The door is opened and Emi is helped up again, onto a nearby bed. Nurses are already present, wearing the familiar medical clothing in various colours. They quickly start their routines.

"Alright, she's dilating. Things look fine," one of them says. "We're looking about three centimetres right now."

"H-how much does it...need to be...for the baby...to be safe?" Emi pants out.

"Ten. Ten centimetres by the time they're ready to come out."

"Oh god..."

"Gonna be a while, hon," one of the other nurses says to me. She's dressed in yellow. "We'll get your mom changed, but if you wanted to wait outside..."

I shake my head. "I have to stay with her. I want to be right here."

"Got it. We'll get you a set of scrubs, then. Follow me."

I nod and follow her to get my clothing. Retreating into the bathroom, I shed what I have on and slip into the so-called 'scrubs' that I would see frequently at the hospital back home. This pair is green and is a little big for me, but far from unbearable. The nurse hands me a pair of gloves that I put into my pocket, and then we head back. Emi is sitting on the edge of her bed, now wearing a light blue hospital gown.

"Ugh...it's cold in here..."

"Just a little," the lead doctor says. She wears glasses and her hair is fashioned into a layer of white spikes. I didn't think hospital staff were so eccentric with things like this, but it makes sense. "Are you in any severe pain, Miss Kobayashi?"

"Nothing I can't handle. I'll be fine. Those contractions are coming slow, anyways..."

"Good, good."

"How long is this going to take, presently? And you won't need to do the...what the hell was it. The thing where you cut me open."

"Cesarean section."

"Yeah, that bullshit."

"We'll have to monitor the situation before making any decisions like that, ma'am. Since you're a first time mother, you should expect the birth to take place over a period of between twelve and twenty hours."

Emi grumbles before sighing. "So those estimates were right...that's a long time. Well, this is what I asked for. Mmph..."

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"Fine, darling. Just another set of contractions. I'll be okay."

"Have a lie down and we'll make sure there's nothing bad going on," a nurse in red says.

"Okay. Are you going to stick around, Lili? I won't mind too much if you don't..."

"I'll be here. As long as it takes," I say firmly.

"Heh. You really are stubborn, but that's how I like you," Emi says with a smile. She grimaces a moment later. "Shit...my goddamn back is on fire!"

"That's normal," the doctor says, pushing up her glasses.

"Yeah, and so are my taxes. They're both fucking painful."

The nurses have a small chuckle at that. Seems we're all going to be here a while.

Within a few minutes, the room is populated with medical professionals of many types.

There is one surgeon, who is present in case any relevant procedures need to be carried out quickly. There is also a fetal medicine specialist called in at Touka's request. Several of the maids at the mansion are trained midwives from their previous lives; two of them are in medical garb here. An anesthesiologist is present for the purposes of pain management and drug delivery if necessary. A paramedic sits near the room entrance and sips at his coffee – he is here on standby in case a quick transfer is needed to the very big hospital a few miles away. Their horses are fast and strong, though they've been talking about procuring motorized carriages for a while now. Paramedics are also very good at administering rapid care in times of trouble, and another pair of eyes never hurts. And then there is the person who I am informed is a 'lactation consultant', or simply put, a person concerned entirely with breastfeeding. They will be observing things after the baby is born.

A host of other nurses has been assigned to this room as well, and as such there is a hum of activity all around. I make sure to stay out of the way as much as I can, though the staff is friendly as can be and gives me updates on Emi's condition.

Standing around doesn't do much for anyone, so I have a seat in one of the chairs. Waiting for so long does take its toll, though...and it is quite late by now. I feel a bit tired, I think. But I should be fine a while longer.

"Lili."

"Mm..."

My eyes open slowly. I feel my physical body in the chair, but I'm...somewhere else. A woman with red hair...Momma?

I'm dreaming. I must have fallen asleep, how embarrassing. After all that bluster, too.

"Hello, darling. It's time for you to wake up again...everything is set to begin. Emi needs you."

"Thank you, Momma."

"Do your best, Lili." She smiles, and the world begins to fade away as I regain consciousness...

I open my eyes and yawn.

"Had a good sleep, did you?"

Emi smiles at me, a wet cloth on her forehead. I stand up and walk over to her slowly. She's sweated off all of her makeup, and the nurses have cleaned her face at every opportunity.

"No drugs. I'm going in strong."

I nod and take her hand in mine.

"Lili...no matter what happens..."

"Don't speak like that. This is the beginning of our new family, remember. I won't run away, so don't you go and quit either."

"Tch, you cheeky little bitch...I was trying to be tendeaaaaaaaaah okay-okay-okay! Ahh! We're there! We have to be there! I can feel it!"

"It's that time already?" I ask.

"Clocking in at about thirteen hours now," the nurse in red says. "Dilation is good, ten centimetres. Our little visitor should be on their way soon."

"Ugh..." I feel my mother's hand squeeze down on mine, shaking. She's nervous. She has reason to be. Even with all of the modern technology at our disposal, childbirth is not an easy thing. She could be lost, and so could the baby. In the worst scenario, it could be both of them at once. But that's what these doctors and nurses are here to prevent. I'll believe in them, in Emi, and in my sibling as they come into this world.

"Focus," I say.

"Yes."

"Here we go," the lead doctor says. She's taken off her white coat and has a medical cap over her head. "Give it your best, Miss Kobayashi."

She gathers herself and starts to push, pain straining her face. Gasping for air, she goes straight into the next push, and the next, and the next. I can feel her struggle rippling through me.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! God...fucking...dammit! God!"

"The baby's crowning," I hear the doctor say.

"Fuck!"

"Keep going, Miss Kobayashi. You're doing great."

"Fucking hell!" She's shaking terribly now, tears in her eyes as she struggles to move. "God, what the fuck!"

"Mama, I'm here." I feel a bit helpless, but I realize that this isn't my fight. My only job is to be here for my mother until the very end.

"I know...I know, thank you so muuuuuch! Ahh! Lili...!"

"Focus," I repeat. "Keep yourself steady. You have to do your duty. Let's bring this child into the world for real."

"Alright...alright, I know...ah, shit! This hurts hurts hurts...hey. Believe me...believe me, I'm not complaining for the hell of it, you know? I almost died a few months ago, and not even that was like this...!"

"I remember, Mama."

"Oh, this is...nngh. Shit! I want to say that I'll...n-n-never do this again, but...but who knows..."

"Imagine that."

"Im...imagine what? What?"

"You're thinking of men already-"

"Oh, fuck right off! Oof...!" She hisses and sucks in air sharply.

"Just a bit more. You're almost there, ma'am!" the nurse in red says. "Just about! Keep pushing!"

"Almost...almost, almost, fucking almost! Always almost! Like fuck that's reassuring! God...ahh!" She grimaces and pushes again. Her hand squeezes down harder on mine as she gives another push. Emi is definitely tiring. Her hair is a complete mess, and exhaustion is clear on her face. She's sweating like nothing else, and I take out a clean cloth to wipe her down.

"You can do this," I say.

"I'm losing it...oh, my head." She sucks in air as fast as she can. "I must look like a nightmare right now..."

"You're beautiful, Mama," I say sincerely.

"..." She's quiet for the first time, taking in deep breaths as she looks at me. I can see her eyes fill with resolve, and she returns her gaze to the ceiling before starting with another push.

"Here we are. Just a bit more," the doctor says. Emi silently pushes again, holding tightly to my hand. One push, two, three, four...

And then her body relaxes. She lets out a long breath. A loud cry pierces the air a moment later.

"I...made it. God...hasn't abandoned me..."

"Mama..."

She closes her eyes. "I...sorry. I was just having a moment..."

"Miss Kobayashi? Your little one is finally here. It's a healthy girl."

"Oh, isn't that precious? Come, come...let's have a look." They've cut the umbilical cord already in the time that's passed. I look at the small child – a girl, which surely must be the comedy of the heavens – who is wrapped in blankets, pressed against my mother's bare chest. They quietly bond as the staff moves around them, making sure that everything is running smoothly and that they're ever ready in case of a sudden turn. But everything at this moment seems to be going very well. Emi has given birth, she is alive, and so is her daughter.

"..."

That is to say...my little sister. Many things are running through my mind...I feel an echo of sorts. Like the universe itself is calling to me. I let the feeling settle inside of me as I watch this timeless scene. My new sibling is bonding with my mother. It's the very first time that I've ever seen something like this, up close. My stay at the hospital brought me in proximity of newborns and young mothers, but...this is entirely different. The child's crying has softened from before. She seems to know where she is now.

The fine hair on her head is a rich blonde colour, flattened against her skin and glistening with moisture. Her eyes are big, painted deep blue. They remind me of the ocean. She flails a bit with her arms before finally clinging to Emi.

As for her, she looks tired, but at the same time so serene. Her hair is dishevelled, with small lines of eye shadow staining her cheeks. She sits upright now, her back supported by several pillows. The doctors and nurses in the room intrude on her lower half from time to time, making sure that she truly is in good health. She doesn't seem to mind, aside from the occasional frown whenever a cold implement is used.

"..."

I want to ask. I should just open my mouth and...ask her. There's a strange heat in my chest, and I want to confirm what it is that I'm feeling. But right now, I feel so timid. I decide to sit in my chair again and wait, folding my hands in my lap. Perhaps I should leave it be. This is an important time for mother and child, after all.

"Lili."

My head snaps up at Emi's voice. "Mama, what is it? Did you need something?"

"Oi, take it easy. You're going to give yourself a heart attack. Not that you'd be in any real trouble here, eh?" The staff laugh along with her.

"Sorry. I was just in my own head for a moment," I say with a blush.

"Well try and get yourself out of there for a moment or ten. Here, come and hold the little one a while."

I blink a few times. "I...shouldn't you be...?"

"Oh, it won't be forever. She should meet her big sister. It's fine, you know."

"Okay. I'll hold her."

I steady myself and stand up, walking over to the side of the bed. Emi slowly moves and hands her off to me, gently wrapped up in that soft blanket. Her crying and fidgeting ceases at once, and I find myself looking straight into her eyes. I can see her small nose and puffy cheeks, those tiny ears that allow her to hear us as we speak. But she seems almost transfixed on me. It shouldn't be the case, and yet...I...my heart is beating so fast, and I can feel it thumping against my chest, almost. I know what...this is.

I can't call it love. What I feel for this small human being, this child, is far more than that.

"I know what this is. I know what this feeling is now. I truly adore you. I would do anything for you. You are the one that my soul has been waiting for, all this time. You are the one who will truly replace him in my heart."

One of her small arms moves, and she grabs hold of my pinky finger. Her tiny digits wrap themselves around it.

"I feel like I've known you forever, since time itself began. My little sister. You're beautiful." I smile. "You fill me with a joy that I've never known before, and probably never will again. To think I would say these things, with the people that I've become close to...but somehow, this experience rises above so many others. I'll protect you. I'll spoil you, I'll keep your smiles and laughs all to myself. I'll look at you like no one else does...just as you look at me. You are my everything, and I'll never let you go."

I haven't felt like this before. I don't know where all of this came from, but I don't care. It doesn't matter. It never did.

"I make this promise to us both...that I will love you to the end of time and beyond. Thank you, my love. Thank you for being born."

I spend a few more minutes as I am, simply holding her close to me. She babbles and makes interesting noises, with her gaze locked onto mine. In this moment, I feel like I'm truly at peace. Nothing else in the world matters...none of it is of importance. Not compared to this. But I can't keep her to myself forever, as much I want to.

"Come. Mama is waiting for you." I give her a smile before gently handing her to Emi again. As soon as she's safe and can locate flesh, she hungrily suckles from Emi's breast.

"Ah, she's ambitious already. Lively little scamp...knows just what she wants," Emi says with a light chuckle.

"It seems to be so..."

"Your face is red, Lili."

"Is it," I say, still a bit dazed. "How strange..."

"Hm. You know, I'm just a bit jealous. To know joy like that, just from being near another human being...I would say that you've snatched her away from me, but it looks like she was never mine to start with."

I turn my head towards Emi. "You're her Mama. Our Mama. Don't speak like that."

"Come off it. I know I'm not wrong."

"..." I want to protest, but I know that she's right. I toe the floor deliberately. "It's...more than just feeling her in my arms, I can...feel her."

"I see. That's only fair."

"I told you to stop talking like that. You're the one that gave birth to her."

"Yes. And you're her sister. Your souls were joined before you even came to exist."

I can't respond to that, either. Where is this coming from? How does she know so much? "That might be...providence, perhaps."

"Yes, something like that." She makes sure the baby is balanced in her arms. "Healthy little thing. Going to drain me for all I'm worth, are you?" Emi raises her head to the ceiling.

"Are you thinking of something?" I ask. I think I've finally calmed down from my experience.

"What do you want to name her?"

I keep my mouth closed this time. I should protest. But this...this feels right. It really has to be me. And I know what I want to give my sister...this gift, the first of many to come.

"Her name is Rose."

Emi closes her eyes. "Mm...I see. That's almost too sentimental to be coincidence. You're remembering Caroline. How she made you a blossom instead of a demon."

"It must be so."

She opens her eyes again to look down at the child, and smiles. "Then we can give this one a proper start. Rosemary Minerva Kobayashi. Nice and formal. Good?"

"Yes. Good."

"So said, so done. All is well."

"Yes."

"Lili."

"Yes, Mama."

"The best possible gift that you can give this child is...freedom from the shackles of humanity. I want her to follow you to your place of rest, wherever and whenever that might be."

"Yes. In time...I promise, Mama."

"Thank you. It's all I can ask for, as weak as I am. Merely human...and bound by the Earth."

"..." How much does Emi understand, I wonder. Is she simply aware of the weight? The heaviness that we feel every day without fail? It doesn't really matter. I will grant that wish of hers, no matter what I have to do.

If it's for Rose, it will always be worth it.

Two more days pass.

Emi spends extra time at the hospital at the doctor's request. They want to see that she and Rose are well, and the fact that she's a high profile patient doesn't hurt either. Both of them get full and thorough check ups over the course of their three night stay, before being given a clean bill of health and allowed to leave.

Rose is suckling from her mother as we leave through the front entrance, the two midwives from the mansion trailing behind diligently. Touka is waiting outside with Sakizuki, who has wisely rid himself of the cigarettes I saw days earlier. It wouldn't do to have to break his neck for endangering Rose. Touka is quite excited to see Rose and fawns over her before we leave for home, at a comfortable, leisurely pace this time.

In addition to her other hats, I learn as we reach the mansion that Touka will be Rose's nanny, something that has made the other maids jealous of her. Of course the woman in question is quite smug about it, having no fears for her physical or emotional safety. Her tongue is as sharp as that katana she carries. I personally think that it's cute to see her so animated. Everyone is captivated by little Rose, and she's carefully crowded at every opportunity. Production remains the same, but the mansion is alive with talk about that little bundle of joy.

As for me...well. I find a few quiet moments to spend with her, while she's awake. I always catch her at the right moments, and she seems like she's been waiting for me the entire time. It's a bit more than I can take sometimes...I find that my cheeks are flushed whenever I'm near her.

And she always grabs hold of my pinky finger, like on the first day we met. I can hardly convince her to let go. To be honest, it's hard to convince myself she needs to.

This spring day is warm, and so I bring Rose out for fresh air on the gazebo.

"Ah, a lovely day. And only lovelier with my sweet flower next to me."

I take Rose from her linen-lined basket and hold her close, settling into the plush chair nearby.

"Yes...it's only right."

I yawn and feel Rose grab onto my finger again.

My eyes open a bit as I realize that I'm falling asleep. Rose is quiet, and as I look down, I realize that she's gone for her nap ahead of me, breathing softly. I suppose that means it's okay, then. She'll be safe right here, with her big sister.

The thought puts a smile on my face as I follow her into sleep.