"Is it all that you wanted?
Your hair blowing in the cold breeze
Secrets within the trees
That are not revealed to you
You're frightened of your nature
Your promises, they escape you
What's one more burden on the back of this beast?"
Chapter 3: Spiders
Did I really think that?
I look at his back as we walk towards where he had entered, minutes had passed with silence, words stuck on my tongue. I felt frustrated with myself, there was all these questions, and these tiny moments were the time to whip out some answers out, aren't they? So why is it that I find it so hard to voice this?
If I was more intelligent, would I be able to ask the correct questions to get some answers?
He is fiddling with what I assume is a fruit of some kind sat on a desk opposite to the door, it looks familiar to a watermelon and yet the inside seems stringy like a pumpkin. His hair flings around his face as he quick to assess the area, as if something was missing, considering there was a nice big cut in the fruit I had a feeling it was something sharp.
He's the first to speak up, "Did you come through here?"
I huff, "I just got dumped in the hallway where you found me Doctor." I lean against the doorway. "Really, Doctor.." I eye his hand as it flinches back, away from the book cover that sat next to the fruit. Words grasp my tongue, tangling around and choking my airwaves. I gulp, letting myself swallow the letters, I bite my cheek as he stand still for a moment, like most of today, his back was often facing me.
He stops, twirling himself to look at me. His eyes set themselves on me, "Dusty," the tone like the one where they going to tell you about some bad news in the softest and gentlest ways they can, and they know you are not going to react well. "In good time, most of your questions will be answered, but here, right now, isn't the time."
I stare at him, rising my eyebrow waiting for him to say more. I squish my hand around my neck, terrible habit whenever I know I'm struggling to get words out. "When is it a good time?" I finally spit out, clutching my eyelids shut. I didn't want to see his reaction. "I don't even know when or where I be, if I'll even wake up on the same place I slept, and you're saying later?"
"Because there will always be a later," He answers. "Dusty, you will find out in due time, but now isn't the place nor the right time."
I take a deep breath, feeling the soft flutters off my hair tapping my face and I look over to the open door. "A-are you going to close that?"
He walks over touching the side which seem activate it to close, "I was going to get to it in due time."
"Sure, sure." I huff, deciding for now to leave this conversation. I didn't feel like crying in a middle of a strange ship, the Doctor is right in some way. This isn't the place or time, so I took another deep breath.
Once the door hits the ground, he returns to the book and taking a seat as he skims through it. I shut my eyes as he reads, listening as he flickers the pages and mumble at anything of interest. His voice lulls me, familiar and home like. The sound leaves a blanket on my shoulder, and I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, letting myself sink away. Falling into the little child staring at a static tv screen, watching from the outside.
It shatters when a hand took my wrist, I jolt awake. The fictional character of my dreams has his warm fingers once more clasping my wrist, quickly dragging me down the hallways. I count the stitches in his scarf close within my eyesight, waking myself up from the little safe place I had sunk into.
I watch his curls bounce upon his head, and all I could do is follow.
We wander around, hiding away when we caught sight of the crew doing maintenance of the ship. The technology they used looks advance, a clear tablet with instructions and parts they would swap and replace. Sometimes we hear the intercoms asking for different teams to fix different areas. It looked advance to me, but the Doctor scrunch-up face told a different story.
As we sneak pass another team wondering the opposite way, we hear a scuffle behind us. A clacking sound on the back of our heels and we're quick to look back to find only a knife on the ground. The Doctor picks it up, putting it into his pocket while taking another look around before continuing onwards. We go to turn a corner, for the Doctor to push me back as he sees what I assume is more of the crew.
I bite my tongue, holding back a hiss. He drags me forward again, carefully making way onwards as we kept our eyes out for anymore crew members. Then we hear a noise, one of scratchy deep screech. I grip the Doctor sleeve, as I felt a sudden wave of feeling, one not of my own. The one that keeps your feet to the ground or makes you run for the hills, as your heart tries to leave your body.
A hand takes mine, fingers lace through, taking me forward much more gently as he takes us towards the crew and where the noise originates from. I look up, looking over the yellow uniforms to the creature, a baby, a youngling frightens of the threats that the others had gave them. I quickly pull the Doctor back, my heart telling me to help this sweetie.
I bring myself low, as the Doctor tells the crew off, softly as in not to frighten the child. "Gently, gently." As he follows me of lowing himself, the crew huddling behind us.
"They're just a child, you're frighting them with your weapon, put it down." I whisper back at them, hoping the crew member with the tool would ease it down. Instead, they step back further which is almost as helpful. I look back over at them. "Darling, we won't hurt you, I promise. I know this is scary, but we want to help, won't you let us?"
The baby, huffs, and puff in anxiety, though they bring their eyes and head down towards me. Body hunch as they watch us.
"What do you mean child? Who are you two?" The boy with the tool asks.
"Visitors." Doctor replies.
"But how did you? You unsealed the entrance."
"Yes, but I sealed it up again. I try to leave things as they are."
"Now you two shush." I dig in at the two, slowly looking back at the baby. "Come on, come on. You're all right." They move closer, inching towards us. "Come on. Everything's going to be all right. I won't let harm come to you." Just as we about made any form of progress, the Doctor slums down atop me and I go to try and turn, to only meet darkness.
It wasn't for too long, as they drag me along the Doctor walking ahead and I try to get my feet to walk on the ground. They take us into a dark room, one the men pushing me forward making me stumble and hit my knees to the ground. Groaning from the now headache at the back of my head.
"Intruders, Decider." The boy from before answers, tilting his head towards the Doctor. "This one unsealed the entrance."
"What?" One the voices from the stand said.
The baby comes in crying and all I could do was slump on the floor, the feelings, the pain, and everything finally been too much. I grit my teeth as tears left my eyes, wanting to get up and calm the child. The Doctor moves closer, his feet at my side.
"That creature! A marsh creature!" Another from the stands says.
The boy adds, "It's docile. Totally harmless."
"We've waited a long time to examine one of these. Take it to Dexeter."
I'm quick to pull myself over, putting my body over the child, the fear of being stopped overpowered by the need to protect the child. The Doctor is quick to follow, as I try and take the baby hand gently, humming to them. "No, no, no, no, no, no. Leave it alone. Leave it alone." The Doctor demands at the others.
The three at the stands bring themselves forward, reliving themselves to us.
"I am Nefred."
"I am Garif."
"I am Login."
"And I am the Doctor, my trusty companion is Dusty."
Nefred is the first to talk, "We have questions to put to you."
They begin to ask questions, as the crew members are made to take the child away. I kept telling them to be gentle, to be kind for the child was as scared of them. Once gone the Doctor helps me to stand up, though still wobbly legs I was able to stand up.
They begin to ask questions, some the Doctor could and couldn't answer. I remind quiet at his side, not sure what input I can add.
"You witnessed the death of Decider Draith?" Nefred questions.
"Look, I'm sure this ceremonial's all terribly impressive" the Doctor waves his arm about, his other arm at my side.
"Please answer the questions, Doctor." Garif demands.
"Decider Draith." Login adds.
"Well, Decider Draith was dragged into the swamp. What have the marshmen got against you?"
"We're investigating that question." Garif replies.
"They seem to resent our presence as aliens." Nefred tags on.
"Why can't people be nice to one another, just for a change. I mean, we're alien, and you don't want to drag us into a swamp, do you." The Doctor asks as he looks up, to be disappointed. "You do."
"How do you know this about Decider Draith if you did not witness the event?"
I felt something grip my ankle, I swallow, knowing that I wasn't staying much longer. I tug the Doctor sleeve, in which he's quick to pull me behind just before I once more glitch out of the scene.
I'm back on the Tardis looking at the coat hanger and I felt this was going to be a very common theme, at least better than waking to either falling or sinking. At least I could grip the coat hanger for now, using it as means to keep my legs from giving up. I turn my head, to notice that Adric's brother and friends are no longer threating Romana.
"Intelligent? Trying to kill us?" the brother asks, amidst a conversation. I wonder if it common for me to get bits and pieces like this. To be drag over bits and pieces of the story, I decide to stay quiet, watching the others as they had yet to notice my presents. The all stood around the console, speaking about events I have missed out on.
"But they probably don't even know there's anyone in here." Romana wave her hand, "To them the Tardis is just a big boulder."
The young girl walks up, being the only one to be somewhat curious of the Tardis. "Why did they choose this cave?"
"Yes, why our cave?" The oldest boy asks.
"Simple," I butt in, making the children jump. Romana sighs. "Why did you guys choose it?"
They don't reply right away, probably because I had most likely confused them. I don't blame them one bit, I'm still trying to somewhat get used to it, I just don't have a choice. "Where did he come from?!" one the boy shouts, now he found his tongue.
"Here, there and everywhere, I don't really get to pick where I land or go." I answer, "Now let's get back to topic to why you lot picked this cave."
"But-"
"I've already explained this last time," Romana adds in. "please, just answer the question."
"To keep an eye on the Starliner, of course." The oldest, moving us back on track.
"It looks straight down into the valley."
"Of course." Romana eyes light up.
"The momentum." Adric walks up closer to Romana.
"Yes."
"If this Tardis is as heavy as you say it is."
"What is it? What momentum?" the oldest questions.
"Accelerating down the slope. How far, Adric?"
"Five thousand metres."
Romana slightly huffs between her teeth, "I think we're about to become a battering ram to smash in the Starliner." She quick to shuffle everyone near the console as she starts to play with the buttons as the others not sure what to do with themselves. The only girl of the group keeps looking out and listening to the aliens outside.
I couldn't help to find her to be brightest of the little gang beside Adric. It left a little smile on my lips, though I didn't bring myself to leave my spot for now, saving any energy I need for when I knew best to act.
"You can't take off from inside a cave." Adric comments, and I couldn't help patting the walls as the Tardis buzzes.
"Well, I'd explain but I don't think even your maths is good enough. "She snarks back, "I'm shutting the door!"
"Wait!" the girl acclaims. "They're leaving!"
I follow Romana out, as we watch the marshmen leave carefully backing out of the cave. As they flee from the creatures spawning from the fruit, like chicks from an egg.
"So that's what frightened the marshmen off."
Long, hairy, and prickly legs cast out from the sides, whereas the spider-like creature pulls itself out, three bright yellow beady eyes glare out in the dark cave. It behind was an oval red shape with a strange red and black pattern, which I knew in most cases usually in earth standards was most possible to be poisonous of some kind.
"More of them! Look!" the oldest points outs.
"They're only spiders." Romana says, and I always thought this was strange for Romana who by now on her many adventures at this point, should know to not judge a book by its cover.
"They may only be spiders, but we don't know what type!" I argue back, pushing her back into the door, to go in with the kids who easily had ran in after the first few had spawned and already coming our way.
"They're only spiders." She protests as she slips closer to the door of the Tardis.
One bites my ankle and I let a whimper leave my lips, before pushing her back into the Tardis. "For flip sake! Get in!" with Adric help she tuck into the Tardis, even if she did fall in.
I couldn't help taking a breath of relief, before another set of legs grasp up my legs and I buckle at the second bite. My head felt heavy, as the blue of the Tardis swam before me. Their clacking and chirping gather themselves around me, I grind my teeth. I wasn't blanking out now. Not now.
Then the one sound, I was not expecting because I thought Romana would be able to get me out of this situation and not let Adric press any buttons was too hopeful. She fades before me and I try and pull myself towards her.
"No, no no no!" I cry out, I don't like spiders. I really, really don't like them. I just didn't want Romana to get hurt. Another one bites somewhere, and I try to kick it off. Swishing legs and arms wildly, hoping that some sort of fight might give me more time when the Doctor returns.
He will, won't he?
The touching wasn't him just being polite, right? It was him being a friend, he wouldn't abandon me, right? I don't know, I don't know. I take a breath, trying to swallow as much as air as possible. "Shit, shit, shit!" I look at one of the yellow eyes, beading at me down at eye level and I gulp as it hunches it back legs, and I quickly roll myself to the left, cutting myself on rocks and making some of the other spider's squeal. The spider misses as it hisses at me, as if upset it missed it target.
I try and pull myself up, dragging myself up against the wall as the world spins. I don't stay long, as I turn to see eyes, many of them all gazing at me. They all leap. All I could do is cover my face. I whimper. Then I'm slamming against the wall, taking air out of my lungs and the last thing I see is yellow.
I woke, sitting in the cave, and yet I wasn't just here. I could see the marshmen, all gathering to head to the starliner. Them trying to gather more information, the kind, I didn't have too much on luckily. The violent kind. I groan, it wasn't the best sensation feeling split in parts and it was hard to focus with them all talking. I wipe my mouth, feeling all wet and slobbery, yet my lips were dry.
I slump, having no more energy to even try. I push my hair away, letting my cold fingers rest on my sweating forehead. I let my eyes rest once more. Maybe with some rest, I'll be able find some motivation to run to starliner. To do anything to find peace, to make things better so no one must die.
Then I hear her. She sings as she enters, as if no time has passed between us and yet, as I peak my eyes out to see the three to come out towards me. Big, warm hands pull me up and words tumble from his lips, yet they do not reach me. I didn't care, I hadn't been left behind. I reach out, my palms rest on his cheeks and he clasps a hand around my left wrist as he says something once more. I giggle, fat drops trail down my face. He pulls me close and carries me as I hiccup as the world sways in and out once more.
He places me on my bed, he wipes away my sweat before checking my eyes. He tries to ask me something once more, but it was like hearing a voice in a tunnel where many other voices are echoing alongside his. I pull my hands to my ears, "too much noise, too much…" I reply, he grimaces. Before patting my head and taking the other two away.
The Doctor walks back and forth near the console, "They're still alive." He answers. "Did you find K9's head?"
Adric shakes his head. "No, it wasn't in the cave."
"What wrong with Dusty, Doctor?" Romana asks, looking down the hallway where they're now resting. "Did those spiders have a toxin of some kind?"
"No, it's not a toxin. It must be something in those spider bites, some kind of psychochemical."
"How long will it last?" Adric asks.
"How do I know? Let's get back to the science unit." Doctor points his thumb to the door, "I want to put some of that spider tissue under the microscope." He gazes down, as he fiddles with his scarf.
"I'm coming with." The voice is soft, and he looks up the see Dusty was leaning heavily against the Tardis wall.
"No," He answers, "You can barely walk." He takes Dusty of their feet and easily putting back on their bed. "You need to rest."
"But-"
"No, you stay here."
"I, I need to, need to." they're pulling at their short shaggy hair, breathing deeply and the Doctor knew what he had to do. Though, he wishes he didn't have to. He leant his forehead on Dusty's and like that, he was able swiftly make them fall back into sleep.
"Sorry." He whispers before running off to the science unit.
I woke to sound of screaming, echoing around the room. I'm quickly grasping for my head where the Scientist had forced a scalpel into the child's head, rubbing and touching around the phantom pain that I could feel. I scatter my eyes, trying to ground myself. The circles on the Tardis walls were my first latch, slowly I counted them as I tried to even my breathe.
Once I felt somewhat more, here. I pull myself upwards, ignoring the hum of the Tardis concern. I didn't matter in this situation, there are others who had worse. Flashes of images as the child fights back, as they strangle the scientist and I choke on my spit, for I couldn't stop them. I somehow wasn't fully under their control, yet, though I could see the lines on my arms.
I groan, nothing made sense. I had made sure Romana wasn't involve being the more intelligent one of us two, she was more obvious helpful choice at the Doctor's side. I didn't know much about anything, just because I watch some episodes on and off throughout my life as a coping method did not mean I knew sci-fi logic.
I grit my teeth, stand up, decide that me and the Marsh-people need a talk. Just because these people have been wrong, it looks like from their own memories it went both ways. No one was in the wrong and yet at the same time, they all were. "No matter what they are, they are always stupid." I mutter as I leave the room. "Well, beside you, Sexy." I add.
She lulls back, as I step out into the console room. I felt numb, which was frightening after being bitten by an alien spider. I touch my forehead, sweat still presence and clinging to my hair, I haven't just magically got better. Whatever the bite had done, has left me feeling disconnect to my body. If it was the bite doing, I could be going into shock. It not the first time I felt out of body, just watching someone else as I sat to the side lines.
Too much has happened in such a short time, and I still don't have time to process it. Not with them calling, tugging me along to where they cried. They were getting louder, as if noticing that I'm not as controllable as they like. Not like Romana who leaves a trail of mess. I quickly grab what I can from the coat hanger, to leave a similar trail that Romana had done in the episode.
"I hope this be enough." I whisper, as I step out with the pieces I had, I had some pens in my pocket as well.
Then I let them guide me away from the Tardis, into the corridors and down. Down was a lot deeper than I thought as I follow them, down was more corridors and steps. Passing many sliding doors and crew members carefully. What trail I could leave felt ridiculous, but I hope the Doctor would get an idea where I was going. Hopefully, he knew me enough.
I trip on the last step, staring up at the escape door in bold text on a yellow sign. I knew what they wanted me to do, I also knew doing so will end in needless death. So, I sat down next to the door, bit my lip as I shook. They were screaming, as I kept telling them No. I try telling them results, which just made them more angry, as if they could fail now, now they had me.
I knew I would be useless when something clicks within them. Whatever they did, turns the world dark before my eyes.
"You know, they could be anywhere." The Doctor says as the wander the many halls and corridors with Adric and Romana with him. "There must be a better way of doing it than this," he mumbles as he twiddles with one of the few plastic pens he found between his fingers. He stops as he looks up, his eyes looking around.
"We've come full circle." Romana notes.
"That's what the Decider said." Adric says.
"Really?" Doctor asks, his focus now listening on the young boy. "What did he say? Exactly what did he say?"
"Tell Dexeter we've come full circle."
"Tell Dexeter we've come full circle." He repeats before huffing out. "How's your knee, by the way?"
"That was hours ago."
"That was quick." He leans down to look at his knee, where Adric had pulled the whole in his trousers to show no scratch or scar was left.
"Old people take a bit longer, of course. Sometimes a whole day."
"Really? Rapid cellular adaptation; that settles it."
"Settles what?"
"We're going back to the science unit. Come on!" The Doctor quickly swivels back towards his new destination, Adric and Romana at his heel.
"All citizens remain in their quarters. All citizens remain in their quarters. Starliner has been boarded by"
Echoes above them as the follow the hallway back, they quick to stop to listen. In the midst of the chaos, they joined by Adric's brother and friend, the Doctor quick to get them to hide in the science unit before heading over to where they had been, where the Tardis greets him.
I grasp, I couldn't see besides the shades of grey where light peaked out above me, every piece of movement made the stuff around me to shuffle. I reach above, my hand breaking the cool surface, quickly I'm stumbling to get above whatever I'm buried under. Like fish out of water, I flap about with no aim, that some miracle gets me out of here. I claw myself on land, the snow now a cushion on my back as my legs dangle into my self-made hole.
Looking up at multiple moons above, I swipe at my eyes rapidly as I swallow my heart into my chest. I felt the snow shake around me as I clutch myself close. Peeling my eyes away from the sight of the clear blue sky to my hands, trying to grasp anything that could ground myself. What did I do? What did I do? I take a lump of ice and swing it out of front of me.
It thumps onto the ground beside me, the gravity dragging it down quickly. I sit up and do the same again, my actions didn't seem effected unlike the ball of snow. I look around, wondering if maybe something like a ship, or even if the TARDIS was the one somehow grounding me here. All I'm greeted to see is a landscape of white, spreading far and wide. It looked like someone had painted only the sky, filled with moons and stars on a pale blue sky. Nothing else had been tempered with beside where I had fell in when I had transfer over to this plane.
I take a deep breath, pull up my sleeves to still see the lines in my skin. I was still afflicted, just too far away from the source to be used. Whatever they had been doing with my body was stop by the one thing I have come to have some resentment for. I pull my hair back, thick with sweat and I knew I need a wash when time allow it. The cool snow seems to have melted away some of the pain, as if whatever makes me hop, sometimes seems to look out for me. Leaving me in places where I can be found or where I can breathe. Though, at other times, it has almost killed me.
I huff, knowing that I was always going to have learn the hard way to survive with my condition. I take a chance to get up, only to fall back into the hole again. "For fuc-"
"I can't take back all the hurt I've caused
Everything I love, I have somehow lost
It's four in the morning and the spiders are crawling
In my mind, replaying pictures of all that I can't undo
Love, I'm trying
But I can't pull myself out when the darkness comes
Love, I'm trying
But I can't pull myself out when the darkness comes
Is it a stain on your conscience?
Or is more like a mural
A memorial
For all those you've tried to be"- Spiders by Bear's den.
Omg I been going back and forth on this for so long. It not long, sorry about that, just got tired getting stuck going back on it and thought, heck let just post it.
Thanks to everyone interacting with story, it means a lot. especially since I update like a snail these days.