Chapter 1
My grandmother was my support pillar all my life. I was a small child, always afraid of my own shadow. Bullied by kids at school, I had no confidence. My grandmother always comforted me when I needed it. Her health was fine until I turned 12. When I expressed concern about her death, she told me death was nothing to be afraid of. Her life and my soul will always live on. I could never grasp the meaning of what she said then. When she passed, she reminded me again of her words. Her soul would pass on and live in greatness in the next life. With a smile, she told me everything she would do in her next life. I know now it was to comfort the both of us.
I was 13 years old then, and for some reason, I always think back to that moment as bittersweet. Growing up, I discarded those words. Never really taking the time to understand what she meant or tried to convey. But when I lost control of my car. I remembered her smile passing peacefully.
My life had been uneventful up until that day I died. I graduated with a master's degree in wilderness leadership and experiential education at 23. I worked for a few years, grinding on the hamster wheel to buy all the latest wonders—that new car, apartment, and hair straightener, which didn't make sense considering my education. I had an insatiable need to feed my growing emptiness. Swamped by work and growing expectations from bosses. My father urged me to book a holiday. Because I lived near him, I had all his attention and worry. I decided to go through with it. I booked a holiday in Greece in May.
One morning, when the sunset had barely time to peek through the trees and buildings, I drove to locate a museum. I guess I didn't notice the sheep walking on my side of the road or the big old truck coming right at me as I lost control of the car. Good times.
I thought I had died that day. The sensation was strange, almost tight. I had no space or place to move. Suddenly, a big hand grasped my legs and helped me out of that confined space. I imagine my car was busted as I couldn't move at all. But it still was strange. I couldn't see or hear like I thought I could. But imagine my surprise when the hands guided me out, and I took my first breath in front of this sudden big woman in front of I understood. Rebirth was a thing now. I was super pissed; how dare she slap my back? I wailed almost immediately as a reflex; seeing the nurse's relieved face staring back at me, I stopped crying and looked up at her.
I was delivered to a beautiful woman. She looked exhausted. I almost felt sorry for her. Thinking I should do something I smiled at her. She instantly looked at me with a sad expression. I tried looking around the room. Everything was fuzzy, and I guess my eyesight hadn't had time to form yet. But all I could see was cold metal walls, some institution? I looked back at my apparent mother. Her hair was dishevelled from birth but still beautiful. The hair was tied up in a big bun. But some curly strands were sticking out. Her hair was auburn red, with some light strands mixing in her thick hair. Her skin was fair, with pink cheeks flushed from the strain. Skin flushed from all the strain. She had a mole right underneath her left eye. Her eyes were dark green, almost grey.
She looked at me with a smile, but something was unrecognisable on her face. When the nurses were satisfied with my health, they left the room. The woman finally alone with me, started to talk.
"My little girl, may you leave this shore in peace. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again… My little girl, even though it's me leaving you, I will always watch over you."
She looked over me, and I felt concerned. She couldn't leave yet. I tried to talk to her, whimpers only forming in my throat. She smiled at me, comforting my strained whimpers. Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door. Two guards and a nurse approached us and stopped by our bed. I recognised the nurse's body and hair, but I was unsure if this was the same one who had slapped my back. Curse my eyesight!
"Lucy Johnson, you have committed a crime against the people on the ark. According to ark law, we are sentencing you to floatation. Considering your child, Valerie Johnson, we will place the child in an adequate home. Do you accept these terms?" My eyes were wide open. I couldn't understand half of what was being said. Ark? Like Noah's Ark? Or flotation? That did not sound good, looking at everyone's faces. And did my mother have a choice here? I looked up at her, sharing my thoughts.
"Well, I don't have any choice here, so we better get started before my hair turns grey."
I would have snorted out loud if I could. My mother looked down on me, her eyes soft. She leaned down towards me and kissed my forehead.
"May we meet again, little one."
I was handed over to the nurse standing in the background. My position was ruined. I immediately started crying. I watched between my cries as my mother gave me a last look before she was escorted out the door with the guards in only her birth gown.
As she left, the nurse stood there with me in her arms; despite my sadness for the woman leaving, I couldn't shake the feeling I wasn't in the same world I had left.
Where the hell am I?!