A quiet, worried hum woke me up and a groan escaped me. My head felt like it was splitting, making my vision spin and my stomach twist with nausea. I carefully rolled onto my back, eyes clenched shut against the bright light above me as I waited for the vertigo to fade. Reaching an arm up, I draped it over my eyes to shade them as I let out a sigh. Stupid Tardis taking over again. I told her not to do it again after the last time. I need to talk to the Doctor about it. I feel terrible.
I didn't move for a while, exhausted mostly but feeling a little warm as well. It wouldn't surprise me if I was running a fever given how bad off I was the last time this happened. Still, I couldn't help but wonder how odd it was that I was the one who let Margaret become an egg. Or, not me exactly. It was the Tardis but she… she did it for me… right? I frowned lightly as I dropped my arm back to my side and realized that I was back on the Tardis lying on the floor in a hallway. I sat up cautiously, bringing a hand to my head when a sharp pain snapped through it but the nausea was more mild and my vision was steady this time.
"This is your fault, you know," I grumbled to the Tardis as I attempted to get onto my feet; using the wall as support. "I told you to stay out of my head."
The ship grumbled and I winced as the pain in my head doubled and she shoved her way in again for a half second.
"God, get out!" I complained, shoving her overwhelming presence back as I sagged against the wall once more, dropping to the ground to hold my head in my hands. "Can't you find an easier way to communicate? One that doesn't involve splitting my head open?"
The ship huffed as the pressure faded but a brief flickering of understanding trickled through my mind. I frowned lightly, concentrating on whatever it was she'd been trying to tell me as best I could with the pain rolling through my skull. What… What is… It was hard to focus but soon I glanced up with a wince and she dimmed the lights for me.
"I don't understand," I said before hastily stopping her. "A-And don't go shoving your way in again! I can barely handle my own head without you poking your way in. So, just… just let me know if I'm getting this right."
I took a second to try and gather my scattered thoughts, bringing a hand to my aching head and closing my eyes to go over what she'd shown me. My questions about how things went originally, Margaret, the Tardis's soul being revealed, our connection. A frown settled on my face and I dropped my head back to lightly bump against the wall.
"You took control for a reason," I muttered, trying to understand what was happening. "Like before when I had to try and land you because the Doctor was regenerating."
The Tardis hummed, agreeing.
"But this wasn't because of you splitting apart… right?" I questioned, hearing her hum again. "There's still a connection between the two times but I just can't think. You seriously did a number on my head."
The Tardis grumbled before hurried footsteps came from down the hall and a disgruntled Tenth Doctor moved into view.
"I'm going. I'm going!" He complained with a scowl sent toward the ceiling. "We were planning a trip, you know. You can't just interrupt all willy-nilly expecting me to drop everything just for—"
He spotted me then, blinking in surprise as I offered him an exhausted look.
"Hey," I greeted. "Hope your day is going better than mine."
"Ash," he breathed, hurrying over and pulling out his sonic as I sighed.
"I'm fine, really."
"You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?" He challenged, eyeing the readings before tucking it away and placing a cool hand over my forehead and eyes.
"You could at least pretend you believe me like I do when you say it," I grumbled, relishing in the cool feeling of his hand before he pulled it back.
"You're warm," he stated as I glanced back over at him.
"With a killer headache too. You can thank the Tardis for that," I muttered as he helped me up onto my feet carefully. "Just came from dealing with Margaret."
"Margaret?"
"Blon Fel-Fotch," I corrected, lightly shooing his lingering hands off my elbow.
"Ah! Not too far off then," he said, informing me of which Tenth Doctor this was.
Early Ten then… Great time to be awkwardly acknowledging my feelings when he probably doesn't even—I winced at the painful throb that flared and I glared at the Tardis wall for a moment, knowing she'd done it on purpose.
"What happened then?" He asked, not noticing or not commenting on my little glare at his ship. "You didn't exactly explain."
"It's your stupid ship," I said, hearing the Tardis groan in complaint. "Don't give me that. I told you not to take me over again."
Needless to say, the Doctor had to catch my arm again when she retaliated rather painfully.
"Careful," he said before giving the Tardis a look himself. "And you behave, you cheeky thing."
Her lights flickered in annoyance but she calmed down and he shot me a look once more.
"So? What'd she do?"
"S-Same thing she did when you regenerated," I responded. "She took me over."
"I know you two are connected but she's not done that before. Can't you protect yourself against it?"
"I'm still new to the whole…" I waved a hand at my head as we entered the medbay. "...mental abilities thing. Been trying to figure it out for a hot minute but there wasn't much time for you to show me how and when you finally did, I… Well, I'm still trying to figure it out. It's not as easy as it sounds when it's all about feeling, focusing, and picturing things. Right when I think I have it, something like that happens and rips right on through everything."
The Doctor hummed. "So, the fever is just a side effect then," he concluded, sitting down on a rolling stool and pushing himself around the medbay to gather medication for me as I sat on the bed. "Why'd she take you over in the first place though? Is there a trigger for it?"
"I was trying to figure that out. She tried to show me something but my head is killing me so it's hard to think," I muttered, wishing I could just flop back onto the bed and sleep for a minute.
The Doctor rolled back over and offered me a glass of water and a couple of pills. "It'll take a minute for these to kick in but should help with the headache and lower your fever. I can take a peek too, if you'd like."
"Would you?" I asked, remembering how quickly his future self had patched me up before remembering how his past self had stumbled upon something he shouldn't have. "Just… don't go snooping, please. I really don't have the energy to go around kicking you out of places in my head."
He cracked a small smile before nodding, rolling forward, and reaching out toward my temples. Immediately, we both winced and he hummed.
"Yeah, she certainly made a mess of things didn't she?" He commented, gently nudging things back where they should be and rolling over my mind like a cooling balm. "And you're not sure why she did it?"
"Mm," I hummed, brows furrowed as I again tried to work through what she'd gone to show me.
Then, it suddenly clicked together and my eyes snapped open in understanding as the Doctor backed out of my mind before I could accidentally cause more damage with my abrupt epiphany.
"Oh," I breathed, feeling a trickle of unease roll through me as the Doctor raised a brow.
"Oh?"
"It was me," I realized, rather stunned by the revelation as the Tardis hummed proudly.
I was feeling anything but happy about this revelation though because what the Tardis told me was that I was now a fixed person in this universe. Margaret became an egg because I wanted to give her a second chance. Me. The Tardis took me over to fly her because I wanted to prevent her from crashing and to stop the Doctor after his regeneration got messed up. Our connection to one another had allowed her to see what I wanted more than anything else and she'd been granting that when she could—when she felt I had to step in. The Doctor had been telling me the whole time I'd been here but this was the proof of it all. This was the slap in the face that I was now a part of this universe and my very presence affected things in ways I couldn't even begin to understand.
Without me, the Tardis might have actually crashed that day. The Doctor could have stayed in a coma while the Earth was enslaved. Margaret could have either been taken home to be executed or the Doctor could have felt sympathetic and let her loose only for her to destroy some other planet. Right when I had finally felt comfortable with my position in this universe, this curveball was thrown at me and I suddenly felt like the rug had been pulled out from under my feet. Anything I did could have an impact, negative or positive. I already knew that I affected things but this revelation felt so much more than that. It was the Tardis telling me that my presence was required in certain places. That if I suddenly decided to not go on a trip, I could put the entire universe in jeopardy.
"Ash?" The Doctor said quietly, drawing my uncertain gaze to him and realizing that he'd placed his hand over mine at some point.
I was projecting and he could tell that something had happened. How would I even begin to explain this? He's still… He's not even… A twist of guilt rolled through me at those thoughts. God, does he question things like this when I show up young? I brought a hand up to my mouth, squeezing my jaw for a moment as I tried to wrap my head around this. If the meds I'd been given were doing anything at this point, it sure didn't feel like it with how my head swam.
"Ash, what's going on?" The Doctor pressed. "What did you mean it was you?"
"I-I, um…" God, do I really have to just be blunt about this? "The Tardis was… She was doing what I wanted. I gave Margaret a second chance. I flew her to prevent us from crashing on Christmas Day. H-Her connection to me just… let her see what I wanted and she took over to give it to me."
"Okay," he said slowly, his hand tightening on mine. "That doesn't explain why you're so unsettled."
My hand flinched and I wanted to tug it away but he held firm to it and… a part of me wanted his comfort. It may not be a future him but there was still the chance that even this young—this new to who I was—he might understand and actually help me deal with this like his future selves would. I grit my teeth for a moment and pushed through that rising pressure trying to hold me back as I dropped my hand.
"I-I just… It made me realize that… that my very presence or absence could cause a huge change. A paradox o-or a death or something worse."
"Or something good," he said, eyeing me seriously but also with a hint of concern. "Ash, that's how the universe works. It compensates for people. Everyone has an effect on the world around them. Just because you came to this universe from another one doesn't change that."
"But it makes me more important," I argued before grimacing and bringing a hand to my head. "No. Not— Not important. I don't mean—I'm just trying to say that… that because I know what's going to happen, my being here and being such a big change to this universe could cause—"
"Just as much damage as anyone else," he emphasized, lightly tugging my hand out of my hair where I'd tangled it to pull at the dark violet-dyed strands. "You're overthinking things, Ash. Nothing has changed from now or back when you were with my past self or when you're with my future selves. Everyone's decisions have a cause and effect. You just happen to know a bit more about what those effects might lead to, is all. Now, take a deep breath and relax a bit."
His fingers lightly brushed over one of my temples and I shot him a small frown at the wave of calm he settled over me. He offered me a small smile in return.
"Better?"
I huffed but nodded, silently grateful that he'd helped me relax because he wasn't wrong. I was overthinking it and as much as knowing such a thing would still bother me later, trying to deal with it now with my head still feeling scrambled was just asking for another headache.
"Good," he said with a nod and he reached up to check my temperature again. "You're still running a bit warm but not as bad as before. You should probably get some rest though. Rose and I were about to head out but we can give you some time if you want."
Knowing what I did now about how important my decisions were, I immediately felt concerned about that and shook my head.
"No. No, I'm okay. Other than the headache and fever I've actually had it nice the last few trips," I said, pushing away the hint of exhaustion from being sick and getting up as he eyed me cautiously. "I've had decent sleep, good food, even built that fish tank. Getting out for a bit won't hurt."
"If you're sure," he said, getting up as well and walking with me toward the door. "You tell me the moment you're not feeling up to it though, okay?"
"Yes, mom," I drawled, earning a small playful nudge from him.
"Hey, now! You're usually the one telling me to take it easy so I don't want to hear it."
"What do you expect?" I challenged. "I was the oldest. It's nice not being the mom for a change."
He rolled his eyes but still had a smile on his face that grew when we stepped into the console room where Rose was waiting; looking a bit miffed with her arms folded over her chest.
"Where've you been?" She questioned. "You just ran off!"
"Well, apparently, we had a rather unexpected guest," he chimed, hooking an arm around my shoulders and pulling me forward. "Asher decided to drop in last minute and needed a once over in the medbay, is all."
She smiled a bit though something about it felt a little forced as she bounded over and hooked her arm in the Doctor's. "Hey, Asher. We were just talking about heading off to the 70s."
Immediately, her denim overalls chimed some bell in the back of my mind and the Doctor abruptly bounding away from us both to turn on some music helped bring up the memory I was trying to find.
"Hold on, listen to this. Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Number One in 1979."
Werewolf… This is the episode with the werewolf. Oh, God. What a day to be sick and know that I have to go. I glanced up at the Tardis uneasily. I do have to go… don't I? The ship grumbled and I winced as she passed along a brief flash of a woman's scream, the Doctor's shout, and a pool of crimson. Headache reignited at her warning, I dropped into the jumpseat and felt my stomach churn. The warning was enough. If I didn't go, someone would die. I'm really going to hate this connection I have with you. The ship huffed as I sighed softly, twisting my fingers for a moment before watching the Doctor bound around the center console.
"It's good to be a lunatic," he sang along with the track he was playing and I smiled a little at the sight; remembering his future self spinning around the club not too long ago.
At least he's having fun, I guess.
"You're a punk!" Rose commented with a smile. "That's what you are. A big old punk with a bit of rockabilly thrown in."
"Would you two like to see him?" The Doctor asked, surprising Rose.
"How'd you mean? In concert?"
"What else is a Tardis for? I can take you to the Battle of Trafalgar, the first anti-gravity Olympics, Caesar crossing the Rubicon, or Ian Dury at the Top Rank, Sheffield, England, Earth, 21st November, 1979. What do you think?"
"I've never been to a concert," I mused, drawing his attention.
"What? Never?"
I shrugged. "Never had the money. That, and I tend to avoid loud, crowded places. Gets a bit much. Thought about it though. Wanted to see My Chemical Romance or Pink. Maybe Muse."
"Oh, Muse is a good one," the Doctor hummed. "Bit of a punk yourself, you are, huh?"
I smiled a bit. "Would look more like one probably if my parents weren't so strict about how we looked and things. Couldn't cut my hair this short until well into high school and dying it was out of the question until university when I paid for it myself."
"Seriously?" Rose questioned and I nodded.
"My family wasn't exactly well-off but dad had this weird thing for us kids keeping our hair longer. For some of us, it was okay and it looked nice but I've got thick hair and was tired of it for ages. Getting it cut short was a godsend since I didn't have to worry about maintenance but I didn't choose to dye it until my hair darkened. Used to be a little more ginger."
"You got to be ginger?" The Doctor gasped. "Oh, I am so jealous."
"One of my sister's is proper ginger. Thing is, I feel like I'd be a way different person if I could've done what I wanted early on. Short hair, dyed, tattoos, all that stuff. Had chains on my wallets, fox and raccoon tails later on but lots of that fell out of popularity, and it felt like I missed out on things. Not that it stops me from being like that now. I love my tattoos," I commented before pausing my rambling. "Where's Sheffield? Like, on a map. I'm not good with geography."
The Doctor grinned and pulled me up from the jumpseat to show me the screen he pulled up a map on. "Right there. East of Manchester, South of Leeds. Was a big place for metalwork back in the day, has a nice urban greenhouse, theaters, arts, and don't get me started about the food."
"Bit of everything then. That's nice."
"Sure is! Add a bit of Ian Dury in 1979 and it's a hot spot for a good time."
"So, Sheffield?" Rose hummed, making him grin.
"Hold on tight."
He sent the Tardis away, soon grabbing a hammer to hit the console along with the song before I grabbed his hand with a wince.
"I might not feel it but being connected to the Tardis does mean I know when she's not happy with you beating her with a hammer," I complained over the music before the Tardis stopped and jerked; sending us all to the ground.
Rose and the Doctor laughed as I just let out a groan after being thrown about. The Doctor was first on his feet, pulling Rose up and then hefting me to my own feet before bounding to the door as he rattled on about 1979. I shook my head, grateful that my headache had dulled a bit at this point, and pulled on a coat despite the turtleneck sweater I was already wearing to keep me warm. I knew that outside those doors were the highlands of Scotland and being feverish like I was meant I was already dealing with chills. Not that the Doctor noticed given he'd just stepped out of the Tardis into a group of men armed with rifles.
"1879. Same difference," he muttered before the soldier atop a horse spoke up.
"You will explain your presence. And the nakedness of this girl."
The Doctor grinned, immediately picking up a Scottish drawl. "Are we in Scotland?"
"How can you be ignorant of that?" The soldier—Reynolds—accused.
"Oh, I'm, I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this, this wee naked child over hill and over dale. Isn't that right, ya timorous beastie?" The Doctor said as I rolled my eyes and Rose attempted her own butchered Scottish accent.
"Och, aye! I've been oot and aboot."
"No, don't do that," the Doctor muttered.
"Hoots mon."
"No, really don't. Really."
"Will you identify yourself, sir?" Reynolds asked.
"I'm Doctor James McCrimmon, from the township of Balamory. I have my credentials, if I may," he lied, gesturing to his coat before Reynolds gave him a nod to get them.
I wasn't paying much attention to them though. My gaze was too busy flickering between the pistol still aimed our way and the beautiful black horse Reynolds was riding. I was a sucker for a horse.
"As you can see, a Doctorate from the University of Edinburgh. I trained under Dr. Bell himself," the Doctor said, showing Reynolds and the other men the psychic paper.
"Let them approach," came a voice from inside the carriage, though Reynolds didn't take his eyes off us.
"I don't think that wise, ma'am."
"Let them approach," she insisted, and begrudgingly, Reynolds stowed his pistol away.
"You will approach the carriage, and show all due deference."
The Doctor nodded as we headed over, though I was far more hesitant. I didn't know the first thing about greeting royalty or what sort of manners I was supposed to have. Knowing me, I'll somehow insult her just by being American… or dressed the way I am as a woman… I paused on that thought and glanced down at how I was dressed. If she even thinks I'm a woman. Wouldn't be surprising or uncommon if she didn't but we really don't need to have more lies in this episode. The footman moved to open the carriage door and the Doctor grinned at the sight of the Queen sitting within.
"Rose, Asher, might I introduce Her Majesty Queen Victoria. Empress of India and Defender of the Faith."
I bowed my head respectfully, not sure what else to do, as Rose did much the same.
"Rose Tyler, ma'am. And my apologies for being so naked."
"I've had five daughters. It's nothing to me. But you, Doctor. Show me these credentials."
The Doctor handed her the psychic paper and she looked it over in mild surprise.
"Why didn't you say so immediately? It states clearly here that you have been appointed by the Lord Provost as my Protector."
"Does it? Yes, it does. Good. Good. Then let me ask… why is Your Majesty traveling by road when there's a train all the way to Aberdeen?"
"A tree on the line," she said, not looking thrilled about it.
"An accident?"
"I am the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Everything around me tends to be planned."
"An assassination attempt?"
"What? Seriously?" Rose questioned in surprise. "There's people out to kill you?"
"She's the leader of a country," I pointed out. "It's not as uncommon as you think."
The Queen eyed me but nodded. "I'm quite used to staring down the barrel of a gun."
"Sir Robert MacLeish lives but ten miles hence. We've sent word ahead. He'll shelter us for tonight, then we can reach Balmoral tomorrow," Reynolds interjected, subtly urging us along.
"This Doctor, his companion, and his timorous beastie will come with us," the Queen declared, leaving no room for argument from Reynolds who begrudgingly nodded.
"Yes, ma'am. We'd better get moving. It's almost nightfall."
"Indeed. And there are stories of wolves in these parts. Fanciful tales intended to scare the children. But good for the blood, I think. Drive on!"
The carriage was closed up and we moved back to walk with the other soldiers. I wasn't really listening to Rose and the Doctor discussing things, still staring at the horse not too far from us. Wonder if they'll let me pet it…
"—sher. Hey, Asher," the Doctor called, drawing my attention.
"Hm?"
He raised a brow. "You okay?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Just a bit quiet, is all," he said, reaching over and checking my temp again. "It's a bit of a walk so let me know if you need a break once we're there."
"I'm okay," I said, not feeling too bad at the moment. "I was just looking at the horse."
He blinked, removing his hand from my forehead and glancing past me to Reynolds and his horse. "The horse?"
"I like horses," I replied simply with a shrug looking back at it. "If you leave me with one, you probably won't see me again until you drag me away."
"You know how to ride?" He asked and I grimaced.
"I've… done some trail rides a few times. Any time I had the chance and the money but could never afford lessons or own my own horse. I wish though." I paused before turning back to him. "You think they'll let me pet it?"
He cracked a smile that looked as though he was trying not to laugh and I frowned.
"Don't make fun of me."
"I'm not," he argued, still smiling. "I just didn't think a horse would be what does it for you."
"I like sharks too if that helps," I replied, still frowning a bit. "I'm allowed to like things, you know."
"Never said you weren't," he hummed, looking amused before giving me a small nudge. "I'm sure they'll let you pet it once we're settled."
"If they don't, I'll be staring at it all night in the stables," I muttered, making him laugh as we continued our walk.
We arrived at Sir Robert's home and my gaze left the horses to focus on the bald butler and servants who joined the nervous man in greeting the Queen. Best avoid them if I can. I'll join the Doctor at dinner, I guess. Rose is fine on her own here, even if she does get locked down in the cellar. I felt a bit bad for Robert too. He was trying his best to be subtle and shoo the Queen away without coming off as impolite or alerting his chaperones, but she was oblivious to what he was doing.
"Now, shall we go inside?" She suggested. "And please excuse the naked girl."
"Sorry," Rose said with a sheepish smile as the Doctor hummed.
"She's a feral child. I bought her for sixpence in old London Town. It was her or the Elephant Man, so—"
"Thinks he's funny but I'm so not amused," Rose said at his little jab. "What do you think, ma'am?"
The Queen eyed her. "It hardly matters. Shall we proceed?"
"So close," Rose muttered under her breath as the Queen went inside and Reynolds ordered his men to deal with the box in the carriage.
"So, what's in there, then?" The Doctor asked curiously, earning a sharp look from Reynolds.
"Property of the Crown. You will dismiss any further thoughts, sir."
He went on to continue giving his orders to his men and the Doctor and Rose started to head off before the Doctor saw I wasn't following.
"Asher?"
I hesitated, glancing at the horse as Reynolds hopped down and the Doctor cracked a wicked grin.
"Reynolds, was it?"
The man turned with a small frown at the Doctor calling out to him. "Yes, sir. What can I do for you?"
The Doctor nudged me forward and I shot him a glare for the action. "Any chance my companion could spend some time with your horses? She's a bit keen on them."
"If it's alright with you," I added a little awkwardly. "I don't want to overstep. I just… really like horses."
Reynolds sighed but nodded, gesturing to the stalls nearby. "Come on, then. I have to be quick but so long as you don't go being daft, you can stay with the horses."
The Doctor pat my shoulder, grinning away as he leaned down. "I'll see you at dinner if the servants can haul you away from them long enough to join."
"Shut up," I hissed back, wrinkling my nose in annoyance at his teasing and hurrying over to Reynolds as he led his horse into the stall.
He was nice enough to give me a rundown of what his horse did and didn't care for before he left to go deal with his soldiers and the Queen, and I'd just begun happily brushing his horse when one of the younger soldiers came in. He bowed his head in greeting and went about caring for the horses from the carriage and bringing Reynolds's horse some food and water as well. He left soon enough and I was perfectly content to finish brushing up the horse and just enjoying its company.
"Gorgeous thing, you are," I murmured to it as I ran my hand down its neck and shoulder. "Oh, what I wouldn't give to just steal you away for a day. You think the Doctor would let me get a horse? Though I'd feel bad for it with how much I jump around." I sighed, dropping my head against its shoulder. "Really makes keeping animals hard, doesn't it?"
The horse let out a huff as I moved toward its head, running my hand over its long face and smiling a little.
"I wanted to have a whole bunch of animals when I left home, you know. Or, well, whenever I got the money to leave, anyway. Wanted to move to Ireland, bring my cat and my snakes, get a couple of dogs, own a horse, and have a whole room for fish and reptiles. Thought that'd be the life." My smile flattered a bit. "Wasn't going how I liked. Lost my job, struggled to get another, everyone wanted a driver's license or never called back. Couldn't deal with my own insecurities enough to get through that final push… then I ended up here. Feels like I'm starting over except… I don't know. It's almost… nice?"
The horse nudged my shoulder, bringing back my small smile.
"I mean, I get to hang out with you, don't I? Before everything goes to shit, of course, but still."
I glanced at the entrance to the stalls, seeing the sun was setting quite low at this point.
"Speaking of trouble, I better go before the Doctor throws a fit or those stupid monks come down here." I glanced at the horse as I gave him one final pet. "Between you and me, the Doctor definitely goes looking for trouble. Don't let him make you think otherwise."
The horse nibbled a bit on my sleeve and I smiled, petting its nose and heading out once it released me. The air outside was getting chilly and I shivered, pulling my coat tighter around me as I headed into the estate. It was only a bit better inside, given there were no servants to light the fires properly and heaters weren't exactly a thing in 1879. Once inside though, I was quick to find the Doctor, who nearly ran me down as he headed through the halls.
"Ah, I was just about to come get you," he chirped, smiling at me. "Had enough of your horses?"
"Not nearly, but it was getting dark," I replied, giving him a look. "I figured you'd be upset if I didn't come in and I was hoping it'd be a bit warmer."
His smile fell slightly and again, his hand reached out to check my forehead and face. "You're running warm again. Your fever probably went up with all the walking."
"Well, I'll be sure to tell the Tardis she's a right pain for giving me a fever in the first place," I complained lightly as he started to lead me to a room with an ongoing fire.
It was only after he sat me down in front of the fireplace that I realized it was a bedroom and briefly gave him a look.
"I don't think Rose would be happy if rumors got out."
"What's that?" He questioned, a bit confused as he draped a blanket over my shoulders as well.
"Just pointing out that it's 1879 and a lone woman in a man's bedroom might draw rumors. Surprised you didn't make something up about me being a colleague or just a guy in general."
He gave me an odd look. "But you're not."
"Could pass as one," I countered, staring into the fire. "I'm not exactly feminine and I'd honestly rather come off as a guy in this time period with how women are probably treated."
"I'm sure if anything like that came up, you'd handle it just fine," he pointed out, earning a look from me as he dropped down in a seat beside me. "I've seen how you handle Jack. I'm sure you'd be fine."
"Or imprisoned," I scoffed.
"I'd bail you out," he answered with a grin, making me crack a smile and chuckle.
"You're ridiculous."
"Only a little," he said before questioning me. "Does it really bother you? How you look?"
I shook my head. "Not really, no. I don't care what people think and don't correct people if they get it wrong, you know. I don't mind how I look so long as I'm comfortable and, well, not dying after taking a flight of stairs." I gave him a glance. "I just figured people in history would care and I know it can cause all sorts of trouble if I don't pay attention to it. Always thought I lucked out being born in the generation I was. I'd probably have been hung or imprisoned or burned at the stake or something if I confused people this much back in whatever time period I could have ended up in… Do you care? About what people think after you've regenerated and stuff?"
"Nah," he waved off. "I mean, it's nice hearing what people have to say, you know? And I suppose it'd be a bit weird if I suddenly grew a second head or something but generally, I don't mind."
I raised a brow. "You literally threw out fifty questions on your appearance when you turned into this you. As someone who knows your future, I can also tell you that doesn't change later on."
"Really?"
"'Am I ginger?' 'I'm a girl! No, I'm not a girl.' 'Nose? Had worse.' 'Legs used to be longer.' 'I've got new kidneys. Oh, but I don't like the color,'" I rattled off, mocking his complaints.
"All right, all right! So I might complain a little—"
I snorted at that.
"But everything gets all mixed up and I never know what I'm going to get. You humans have it easy. You just have to worry about getting old."
"Or you end up a weird genetic mess like me and suddenly discover you can read minds, super heal, and somehow teleport to the Tardis when seriously injured," I drawled, not realizing my mistake until he abruptly sat up.
"What!" He half shouted, bolting out of his seat and grabbing my arm to pull me up, giving me a once-over in immediate concern as my blanket toppled to the floor. "What happened? How the hell did you figure that last one out? Where was I!"
"F-First off, woah," I said, lightly pushing against his chest to put some space between us, though he still held firmly to my arm. "Second, it was rather sudden and unexpected. My body moved on its own and even then it wasn't more than a step. Third—" I pressed on before he could add more questions. "I'm fine, thanks. I was brought straight to the Tardis, giving your future self time to save the universe as usual, and was sent to another version of you who wasn't busy to get fixed up. If it makes you feel better, it's something I wish to never experience again since I like living as much as the next guy. So…" I glanced down at where his hand was wrapped tightly around my wrist. "Letting go would be nice."
He hesitated but slowly let me go, still eyeing me so I sighed quietly and reached out, squeezing his hand and trying to push some of my reassurance toward him like he'd done with me.
"I promise. I'm okay."
He nodded and relaxed somewhat, returning the squeeze on my hand before someone knocked on the door and I flinched.
"Yes?" He called out as the servant on the other side spoke up.
"Dinner is ready. Shall I go fetch your companion from the stables?"
The Doctor headed for the door and opened, it, smiling at the bald butler. "No need. I brought her in a moment ago. Dinner, you said?"
"Yes, sir," the man drawled, giving me a glance very briefly before gesturing toward the hall. "Shall I lead you to the dining room?"
"That's alright. I know where it is. Oh! Would you mind getting the other lass who was with me? She probably lost track of time as well."
"Of course, sir," he said, stepping away so we could leave the room. "The dining hall is the third door on the left, just down this hall."
"Cheers," the Doctor replied, grabbing my hand to lightly tug me along as we left the butler behind and I debated on whether I should say something.
But won't he turn to me if I say nothing? Rose gets taken to the cellar but he doesn't know that. He probably thought they hurt her… but if I say something, will that change anything? The Doctor pulled to a stop outside the dining room, then turned to me and lifted my hand pointedly.
"You're thinking too hard."
"You really need to teach me how to stop projecting," I muttered, tugging my hand from his grip and dragging it through my hair as I glanced behind us to make sure no one was around. "It's just… this isn't going to be some fun trip. You can't trust the butlers."
He frowned, looking up the hall as well and then turning back to me. "Something's going on then."
I nodded. "I can't tell you."
"I know," he replied easily. "You can hint though and I appreciate that."
"Yeah, that?" I waved a finger at his face, earning a raised brow. "All of that. Makes it a million times harder, you know. Don't be nice about it."
"You'd rather I be upset with you?"
"I expect you to be upset as much as it annoys me to say that. There's a lot that I've… seen, I guess, that kind of portrays you a certain way, and the early you… the… the last you and this one are usually rather… volatile. So, when you're all nice and accepting about things it kind of throws me off and makes me want to just spill everything," I admitted, earning a small smile from him.
"Ah, I get it. You like me, hm?"
I immediately flushed. "D-Don't start," I warned him, prodding him in the chest. "Seriously! I-I just need you to know that it's weird when you're not upset about things! Don't go reading into that too much! Your ego is big enough as it is!"
"Oh, is that so?" He said with a scoff. "Well, sorry for bein' nice then. I know. Here. Shame on you for running off to pet horses instead of resting when you're sick."
I opened my mouth to say something, paused, before shaking my head. "Sorry, was that the best you could do?"
"You can't just ask me on the spot to be angry, you know," he huffed. "I don't have a lot to work with."
"Okay, you know what? Fine. Sorry for expecting you to be upset but just another hint or whatever: Rose is fine. Not exactly happy but completely fine and… might be locked in a cellar?" I offered with a wince, expecting that to set him off at the very least.
"Oh, is that all?" He questioned, surprising me as he ran a hand through his hair. "Well, could be worse, I suppose. You think she'll lecture me about it?"
I blinked in shock. "Lec—Lecture you? When she finds out I knew it was going to happen, I'm the one she's going to go after! I'm just shocked you're not up in arms about your precious Rose getting manhandled into a cellar!"
"My precious—Hold on! Who said anything about that?" He questioned as I snorted.
"Who said? Are you joking? Where I come from it's a well-known fact. You can't seriously tell me nothing is going on between you two."
"We're just mates! N-Not mate mates, just—Oh, you know what I mean!"
"Yeah, I get the British slang but really? The way you two look at one another sometimes? The only other person that gets that kind of action is—" …Shit… It's me, isn't it? Fuck. Abort! Abort! "—is the Tardis!"
Smooth… Like my brain right now, I mentally chided myself and as the Doctor went to retort, the dining room door opened and Reynolds cleared his throat.
"If the two of you are done shouting in the hall, perhaps we could sit down and eat."
The Doctor and I both flushed in embarrassment, having forgotten where we were and our volumes, and quietly apologized and stepped into the room to join him and the—rather amused—Queen at the diner table. Me and my big mouth.