Chapter Nine:
The Bounty Hunter From Inkopolis
Lawyer SMG4 observed the scene from the hill with his binoculars, and his hands shook with fury as the YouTuber lowered his viewing equipment. His confidence was overtaken by frustration, how could he not expect the likes of Swag and Chris to fail their task in preventing OnyxKing67 from getting away.
"Those idiots!" He hissed, "And you certainly did not help, OnyxKing... We're far from done, and I have other assets up my sleeve. I'm prepared, and it looks like I have to call in a favor from a certain splat-tastic city."
Putting aside the binoculars, Lawyer SMG4 breathed slowly, then he pulled out the phone and dialed in the number; "508-417-2021-024."
He waited for the line to connect, and once he'd gotten to whom he was connecting with, Lawyer SMG4 smiled. "He's on the run, and proven to be more frustrating than expected." He explained, "You know what to do. Bring him to me alive... or ice him. You'll get a Sea Snail and a hundred bucks. Good luck..."
In the colorful cityscape of Inkopolis Plaza, a jumbotron flashed to life, and the Squid Sisters' symbol exploded across the screen before Callie and her cousin Marie made their appearance within the studio.
"This is an Inkopolis News Report, hold on to your tentacles..." Callie declared.
"We have breaking YouTube-related news." Marie quipped, "This is just in, SMG4 has sued OnyxKing67 for the usage of SMG4 characters in his videos, even if most of those appearances were cameos."
"We've received word that SMG4 has hired Inkopolis' top bounty hunter after OnyxKing67..." Callie piped up, "...and this should be of no surprise to those who are aware of the infamous Inkling entity Zelus' origins, and the fact that she took some... less than flattering inspiration from certain SMG4 characters and arcs."
"And is this because the late Desti appeared at the end of the Zelus arc?" Marie asked.
"Let's not forget that Splatfest superstar Meggy Spletzer has appeared a few times in OnyxKing's videos." Callie snapped a finger, and an image of Meggy appeared on-screen.
"Hold on, who is this bounty hunter that SMG4 has hired?" Marie inquired.
"He was a very highly-skilled Turf War player and a top-tier Splatfest champion years ago." Callie explained, "Feared by opposing Turf War players and those whom he's hunted in his bounty-hunting career, and still respected by many others, including Ms. Spletzer."
Marie's eyes went wide. "Wait, YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT...?" She stammered.
"That's right. Him!"
"A-Are you sure he will catch OnyxKing67 for SMG4?"
"We just have to find out, Marie." Callie remarked ominously, "We just have to find out."
He saw the breakout and the debacle with the guards from a distance, now, Mario was rushing to catch up to Grasshopper and OnyxKing. He'd missed most of the action, but he was not keen to miss the rest of the ride. That cuckoo crazy Lawyer SMG4 had to go down, and Mario was going to help OnyxKing and the others beat him.
"OnyxKing, wait for Mario!" Mario wailed, "Don't leave-a me out of the rest of this legal drama! I can't afford to miss the rest of the action!"
Grasshopper carried OnyxKing to the edge of the Mushroom Kingdom countryside until the dunes of Kalimari Desert were in view. OnyxKing reached into his pocket, and grabbed his phone, then he took a minute to send out a text message. Once that was done, he put the phone away and proceeded into the desert just as Mario finally caught up.
"Wait-a for me!" Mario whimpered, "I didn't mean to-a be too slow!"
"Boy, I'm glad to see you of all people." OnyxKing remarked with a smile, "You still missed the action though."
"It'll be a while before those two get a new tank." Grasshopper said, "Now, we need to move before we encounter someone else from SMG4's videos. Hal Monitor must be fixed and reactivated by now, and there is no doubt that he's gonna be after us, and who knows who else will be coming our way on behalf of SMG4."
"So, who were we going to meet with?" Mario asked, "We were trying to get out of town to meet someone who could help."
"He goes by the name of LawyerBoi20..." OnyxKing67 explained, "...but his friends call him Lian, he's been in the lawyer department for a good number of years, and he's one of the best. He's gotten his clients out of many jams, and we're good friends. And he knows when something is wrong. If anyone can fix the mess we're in, it's LawyerBoi20."
"He's not a boring Mario clone, is he?" Mario asked in a deadpan tone.
"No, Mario. Not everyone looks like you." OnyxKing told him with annoyance, "Nor is he an Inkling or someone with a 007: GoldenEye N64 model like Swag, Chris and the other guards."
Grasshopper raised her hand and held up her phone. "I was looking at SMG4's Twitter feed, and there have been no tweets about suing OnyxKing, nor has he taken any jabs at him using SMG4 characters." She said, "There's clearly something wrong here, and there doesn't seem to be any OnyxKing callouts from SMG4 on YouTube."
Mario's eyes widened. "Mama mia!" He exclaimed, "And Mario thought SMG4 would take to social media to say something about his actions, now there's something about the situation that I can say is fishy-fishy..."
By this point, the trio were walking through Kalimari Desert, and looking around one another to make sure that nobody was following them. The sun was bearing down on the group, and Grasshopper put her helmet on to avoid sweating. Luckily for her, the Tenanite suit protected the superhero from the boiling heat.
OnyxKing checked his phone to see if he'd gotten a response from LawyerBoi20, whom he'd texted, and saw someone had replied. But the name at the end of the message indicated that it was someone else who'd answered through LawyerBoi's feed.
'Thanks for texting, OnyxKing. We've been told about your current situation. Wish we could help, but something just came up. Leah's dead. I found him with a bullet hole in his head in the living room, and just barely caught a glimpse of the assassin. We'll figure it out, but you need to run. You got bounty hunters after you. -Maxel.'
"Crap." OnyxKing said grimly, "Text from LawyerBoi20's assistant Maxel... Leah's dead."
"Oh no!" Mario exclaimed.
"Lawyer SMG4 must have known you'd go looking for him." Grasshopper commented, "The situation is getting hairy, what else did the message say?"
"Bounty hunters are after us."
"Who's that over there?" Mario suddenly asked, pointing towards the Kalimari Desert Railroad, towards a rock that was next to it.
The trio looked ahead, and, even with the sun generating a slight mirage with all of the heat, they could see someone coming towards them. With each passing second, the figure got closer, sporting a squat appearance, a dark cape, an Annaki face mask, a black cowboy hat, and silver battle armor along with large brown boots.
"Well, well. From the desert comes a stranger." OnyxKing said in a mock cowboy accent.
Mario seemed to squint. "Wait a minute..." He muttered, "He looks like... an Inkling!"
Moments later, the figure turned into a black squid and moved across the sand towards them. When the Inkling got closer, he morphed back into humanoid form, allowing the group to glimpse his face.
"And I thought you'd be a hard guy to find, OnyxKing..." The Inkling remarked in a southern accent, staring at the YouTuber with cyan-colored eyes.
OnyxKing studied the mysterious Inkling, and spotted an unmistakable tattoo on his face. "I'll admit I didn't expect to run into a squid guy like you in the middle of nowhere." The Machinist commented.
"Take-a the hat off, partner. And the mask." Mario said in an awkward cowboy accent.
"You want to see my face?" The Inkling asked, "Well, I suppose it don't hurt to see this bounty huntin' squid's true visage..."
He removed his hat, and lowered the mask. In a second, OnyxKing could see a tattoo under his left cheek, and the YouTuber could see his somewhat ruffled gray fade-to-black squid hair. As he glimpsed the Inkling's face, the YouTuber realized he looked very familiar and his mind thought of the Mario Babies episode SMG4 had released a few years prior.
And then, it clicked.
"No. Way!" OnyxKing went into near fanboy mode, "Meggy's Splatfest superstar idol Oneshot Wren! Oh my gosh, it is an honor to finally meet you, sir! Meggy told me about you, and it was incredible to see you in one of SMG4's videos."
"That's right." Wren said, tipping his hat with a smirk, "Oneshot Wren, at your service."
"Say the line, Wren." Mario said suddenly.
Wren raised an eyebrow, then he shrugged and flashed a grin. "You got the makings of a champion, kid..." He said.
"Just like in the video!" OnyxKing said excitedly.
"Now, you got the makings of a fugitive, OnyxKing." Wren told the YouTuber, "SMG4 sent me to track you down."
"You're the bounty hunter?!" Mario and OnyxKing exclaimed.
"Ya called me a Splatfest champion, OnyxKing." Wren drew a Splattershot from his pocket, "That was a long time ago. I've retired from that life, but there's no way this squid is lettin' those skills go to waste, so I'm a bounty hunter. I was just catchin' down a rogue Octoling when I got the call. Now, I bring you in warm... or I can bring you in cold."
"Hey, Wren!" Grasshopper stepped forward, "How about you take ME?! I've dealt with bounty hunters hired by crime bosses during my first month as a superhero, you're nothing compared to the goons I've dealt with."
"You ain't takin' OnyxKing, you mama-WOOMY!" Mario said confidently, "And by mama-WOOMY, we mean mamafu-"
"We know what you mean, Mario." Grasshopper told the fat Italian.
"The hard way then..." Wren said, "It's time to learn why it ain't a good idea to mess with the great Oneshot Wren."
Wren whipped up his weapon and opened fire. The trio dove out of the way, and Wren shot at OnyxKing with the ink streaking towards the YouTuber's face. OK67 ducked backwards to evade the ink-coming shot, Matrix-style, and he shot back up straight when the pellet of ink passed by.
"You really have changed since the day you gave Meggy her beanie!" OnyxKing shouted, "And I never imagined that, when I met Oneshot Wren one day, he would be out to capture or ice me on behalf of Lawyer SMG4."
"A job's a job." Wren said firmly, "I was promised money, and I will complete my mission, no matter what it takes."
Mario leaped in and kicked Wren in the head, the Inkling fell over and the retired Splatfest champion-turned bounty hunter stared at the fat Italian with annoyance. He slapped his hat back on his head, and raised his Splattershot. He tried to shoot at Mario, but the dim-witted plumber was quick, and kicked the weapon out of Wren's hand.
Wren grunted, and did a sweep-kick, trying to knock the silly Italian man off of his feet. Mario jumped out of the way, and Wren shot back up, then he morphed into squid mode and launched himself at the spaghetti-loving hero, doing a kamikaze right into Mario and knocking him to the ground.
"I don't have anything against you, Mario..." The bounty hunter told the pudgy Italian as he pinned him down, "You have my respect, and I was watching you in action on the day when Meggy emerged triumphant in the Splatfest. You have skill, that I can give you, but you're getting in the way. You of all people should know how important money is, right?"
Mario chuckled. "At least you aren't some washed-up cuckoo crazy sports star and you have a motivation for coming after us..." He remarked, "...instead of taking us hostage for some selfish reason."
Wren drew a Splat-Dualie and pointed it at the plumber's head. "Do not... EVER... call me crazy or washed up or selfish!" The Inkling snarled.
Grasshopper swooped in, knocking Oneshot Wren off the fat Italian, and punched him in the face. Wren grunted, and looked up at the superhero with annoyance. Wren threw a punch at the masked crime-fighter, and Grasshopper floated out of the way. She kicked back, blocking a kick from Wren, and she punched him in the shoulder.
The famed ex-champion grunted, and stumbled back. He raised his arms, shielding his face from the superhero's next strike. And at that second, OnyxKing jumped in, and knocked Wren down. He held up a Splattershot, aiming it right at the squid boy's face.
"You... are the most resilient target ever..." Wren remarked.
"And have you seen SMG4's social media feeds as of late...?" OnyxKing asked, "He hasn't said a word about suing me, nor has he posted any updates on what he's doing or complained about me using his characters. SMG4 has never gotten peeved about me taking inspiration from him, and yet, he sued me, and hired you to go after me."
Wren raised an eyebrow, and he thought about what OnyxKing was telling him. Just then, Mario let out a holler, and both OnyxKing and Grasshopper turned to see Mario pointing to a Warp Pipe that had just appeared.
OnyxKing bonked Wren on the head, then he and Grasshopper made a dash for the pipe. Mario dove in first, and the others followed suit, leaving the somewhat defeated Wren alone in the desert. He stood up as the pipe vanished, and groaned with frustration.
"Just great..." Wren quipped, "...and I bet SMG4 saw all of it."