Chapter 17~

"I'll do it."

A round chorus of 'No' came around from the group, Faith included. The only one who hadn't spoken against Dawn's statement was Melody, who just stood quietly.

"There's gotta be a way I can do this myself. No one else is being put at risk," Tara was adamant, but both Giles and Melody shook their heads.

"Tara, I understand your predicament, but this particular problem is very complex," Giles began, having known the reaction would be coming, "A realm… we are just going to assume that's what we are dealing with. First off, finding it in the billions that there could possibly be is going to be extraordinarily difficult. This spell eliminates the possibility of getting lost, as it will directly follow Willow's path, assuming there is one. Second, the realm was created out of a side aspect of Willow 's timeline, due to her being its creator. She wasn't able to hold her attention on its creation because she had to focus herself on the timeline she would be sending them down and subsequently trapping herself in it. More than likely, she has no control over this place. If you want any sense of control in this realm, you'll need to focus on the spell your doing. Someone else has to focus on the energy output and keeping you anchored to us. There are other spells, Tara, but this one has the most likely possibility of success."

Buffy put her hand on Tara's shoulder, "I've listened to all of their mumbo-jumbo, Tara. It's a sound argument. It's either this spell, or let her go." The last part was said in a whisper.

Tara stood up, "Then you didn't look hard enough!" She was frustrated, angry, scared, heartbroken, "You're telling me she can go back in time without any help, but I can't go to retrieve her without any?"

"Yes," Melody was straight forward, "I mean, she's completely helpless and stuck in a probably pretty bad memory loop, seeing as she believed she needed punished. Her feelings, those beliefs, would have translated into the spell. So, ya know, might want some help unless you aim to be stuck like she is. Though, I'm guessing here, but if you have more freedom (which is something a second caster gives you), you probably won't be stuck in the loop. You'll need some semblance of control to find Willow, she could be in any memory."

Tara still looked angry, but confusion entered the fray of emotions currently on her face, "Wait, I can go through any memory?"

Giles jaw muscles tightened again, "I wouldn't go prancing around all day, but yes. You should have some control. The biggest issues, barring the actual location of Willow, are learning HOW to control your surroundings, as well as getting Willow out."

Faith was also getting edgy, "What do mean, getting Red out? T just goes in, grabs her, jumps back. This ain't some grand adventure shit."

"Simply 'grabbing' Willow won't work. Tara will have to figure out quickly what is holding Willow there, and disrupt or destroy it," Giles sighed, "Without disrupting the stability of the realm itself. Grand adventure, indeed."

"I'm telling you guys, I can do this. I can be the second caster," Dawn was insistent, knowing full well what may lie ahead if her and Tara failed to retrieve Willow before a full collapse of the magically created world.

Buffy was having none of it, "Dawn! Teenager or adult, no. You're still in pain from the first go round anyway. Let's not add to that."

"D, I get it, I do. I need you to remember something, though," Faith was looking straight into Dawn's eyes, "Red's main objective, was B's last wish. Keeping you safe. How upset Red gunna be if we let you go wandering dangerously into magic. She already gunna go bat shit to find out how much danger T put herself in."

Dawn thought for a moment on what Faith had said, "Well, she's going to have to get over it."

Tara put her foot down as well, "Dawnie, no! Buffy's right, you're not at full strength, and Faith's right about the work Willow put into this."

"Yeah! The work she put into bringing us backwards. It's the same work she put into getting back to you! But you're all with the 'I'm going in!'. You all seem to forget something yourselves! I'm nothing but energy! Hello, Key!" Dawn was not going to let anything stop her. If they needed a second caster, she would be the one to go.

Melody decided to share her thoughts on the matter, as she had known, much like everyone else, that Dawn would be first volunteer. She didn't however share her opinion of what she thought of that until now, "The key. An energy of sorts locking the doors between dimensions. Might be useful in say…. Going into another dimension or realm. I know you all don't want Dawn doing this, and have extremely good reasons. I would just like to point out, she also has very good points. Plus, Willow has trained Dawn, kind of. Not that Will is all that gung ho to let her go all witchcraft on the world, but Dawn at least knows what she's doing."

Dawn looked to the vampire, giving her a grateful smile, "See? Good points!"

The anger Tara had from earlier found itself a new home in looking at the vampire, "You want me to risk Dawn simply because that's what she's 'supposed to be for?!'"

"Whoa there mega witch, direct the anger elsewhere, huh? I'm not you're bad guy," Melody made an effort to remain calm, as magic wasn't her favorite subject, "Dawn has every right just like anyone here. Just like you do. You wanna risk it all to get Willow, you're gonna have to risk it ALL. Dawn is twenty-three, and she's learned witchcraft, fighting, and even medical shit. She cares about bringing Willow home as much as you do. If the spell needs to be cut, if something goes wrong, she's going give you the longest time to do something, but as her aim is to make sure you stay alive, she'll bring you out of it. If you ask me, Dawn's perfect for this."

The rest of the group were glaring between Dawn and Melody. Everyone was silent for awhile, while Tara sat down and opened the book to the marked page. Tara couldn't tell how long the silence went for, but Buffy had sat down next to Willow, staring at her best friend. Tara wondered what she was thinking.

The door downstairs could be heard opening, Xander announcing his and Anya's entry, "I bring food!"

Anya shouted after him, "And I bring spell supplies!" They made their way upstairs, figuring that's where everyone was since the living room was empty, "Should I add these to Willow's tab, or…?"

Giles rolled his eyes, "Anya, just write it off. Slayer business."

"But this amulet is expensive and can only be used once!" Anya looked appalled. She finally gave the room a once over while Xander handed out subs to everyone, "Everyone looks upset. Did Dawn volunteer like I told you she would?"

Xander handed Faith a sub, "Kinda had to take a guess at toppings, hope it's alright." She gave him a small smirk, as he gave Melody one as well, "Lots of meat! I haven't seen you eat anything solid, but I know you're kinda human, so figured if you didn't want it, someone else could dig in."

Melody gave him a nod and smiled at his generosity, "I could use a non liquid meal. Thank you."

Tara put her sandwich down, and made a beeline for the door. Only seconds later, the back door could be heard slamming. Xander looked around at everyone's faces, "Well, I can see this conversation was going well."

Dawn made to get up to follow, Buffy grabbing her arm softly, "Dawn, maybe I should go? You're still wincing every time you try to stand."

"I'll be fine, Buffy. Either way, whether I'm the one to help cast or not, there are things I should go over with Tara," Dawn went to get up again. Faith made her way over, decidedly hoisting Dawn carefully into her arms, "Hey! I can walk!"

"Ya, ya. Just take the slayervator and don't complain," Faith winked at Buffy, letting her know she would make sure Dawn didn't hurt herself, allowing Buffy some time with Willow.

The rest of the group went downstairs as well, giving the Slayer time, Xander last to leave gave Buffy a look, "Let me know when your done. I'd like a word with the Willster, too."

Buffy still had an issue with Faith, but other things were more important right now, and she really had wanted a moment with Willow, "Will, Dawn keeps wanting to tell you stories, insists that you're in there somewhere. I don't know… if you are…" tears claimed her cheeks, "Why do you always have to make things complicated huh? Can't you ever just find a spell where the only consequences are kittens and rainbows? Well, maybe not kittens, don't need to give Spike something to bet."

Buffy took a deep breath, "Will, you're still my best friend. You've always been there. I haven't liked the person you've been lately, but I will never not love you. I don't know if this is the right thing to do. I can't control Tara's decisions, but a huge part of me doesn't want to. I can't do this without you. You brought me back, no quitting before I can. And thank you," she whispered, "For protecting Dawn with everything you have," She sniffled, taking hold of Willow's head and kissing her forehead, "Don't tell Tara. Last thing I need is to be turned into a kitten. I know Miss Kitty went missing, and now I'm pretty sure Spike had something to do with it, but Miss Buffy does not want to be gambling demon chow."

-x-

Tara sat out on a bench in the backyard, only looking toward the house when Faith appeared carrying Dawn who was fighting to be put down, "Alright! I'm outside, we are down the steps, can I walk now?!"

Faith paused, giving her a disapproving look, then set her down by Tara, "Delivery. I was told to get it here in thirty minutes or less. Hold the tip." She walked back inside.

Dawn glared at the Slayer's back until she was inside again, "I'm in my twenties!"

"Would you like a story?" Tara asked, an eyebrow lifting at Dawn.

Dawn's eyes went wide before she realized Tara was pointing out how 'adult' she wasn't, "Hey! The last twelve months of my life have been in different abandoned buildings, scavenging for food, with no electricity. I couldn't even shower, and my nicest clothes were practically falling off in tatters. Not to mention my company is potty mouth Faith, quiet and semi brooding Melody, and Willow who is also semi broody and thinks studying is fun. Carrying a board game wasn't exactly an option, so ya. I love stories! Especially one's that help me escape the crap of existence we called a life," she paused, seeing Tara's face turn, worried at her outburst. Lowering to a whisper she continued, "It's nice to remember when things were good. Before you died. Before the world fell apart. And Willow, she always told them like they were happening right there. Nothing like getting lost in a Willow and Tara adventure, ya know? I mean, Faith told stories, but it was different, and they were all slayer stories, so it was a lot of fighting. I've had enough fighting."

Tara realized she was being harsh, as she stared at the woman before her, "I'm sorry, Dawnie. I'm just so stressed and frustrated. Everything just…. Changed. So fast. I was leaving Willow," she looked up at the sky, "and then, all this. We k-keep bringing up my death, and I'm hearing all of these things that Willow's done, good and bad, and all the in-between. I'm just so tired, and I want to curl up in her arms, and have her hold me, and I can't. Because not only are we not together, not only was I choosing to leave, but she had to go and do a self sacrifice thing and now… I don't know what to do, Dawn."

"Tara," Dawn tried to think of what she wanted to say, "We're all gunna die, ya know?"

Tara immediately turned to look at Dawn in the eye, but Dawn continued, "How that happens, well, despite most of you guys having gone through it, we don't know. Melody said the time line has changed. Either of us could die tonight. I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight. If there's one thing I've learned about being an adult scooby, it's keep fighting and no one gets left behind, or forgotten." She thought back to before Buffy jumped the tower, "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it."

"You really have grown up," Tara brushed some fallen hair to Dawn's ear.

"Well, that last part was Buffy, and I might have stolen a line from Lilo and Stitch, which isn't even out till June," Dawn blushed.

Tara gave her a smile while lifting her eyebrow again, "Are you really ready for this?"

"I was born ready. I think. Is a giant ball of energy technically born?" Dawn giggled.

Tara's smile gave to a frown, "I don't even know what I'm in for, do I?"

Dawn took her hand, "That's why you have me. Look, I can't lie to you. I don't know what you're going to see, but I'm guessing Willow's darker half will make an appearance, and I'm not talking the vampire version."

Tara nodded, staring at the grass, feeling slightly numb, "How can I face her like that? The First's version was already scary, but knowing it's Willow behind those eyes…"

"That…. Wasn't dark Willow," Dawn's eyes went wide, realizing that despite her best efforts, describing the situation that happened all those years ago was more of a challenge than just remembering it.

Tara's eyes held a fear Dawn had never seen, "Her eyes. They were b-black."

"Ya, that's a thing," she paused and looked back into Tara's eyes, "There's more to it then that. Tara, you just have to remember who she really is," Dawn filled in, "How do you think Xander saved the world? Also, remember the Willow you're looking for is brave and strong, and would do anything for you. No matter what."

Anya took this moment to come semi outside the door, "Hate to do this, but we're running low on time."

Tara and Dawn both glanced curiously in her direction confused, "There's a time limit?!" Dawn gave her a crazy look.

"Kind of? I guess, not really so much a limit, but do you really wanna push it? I mean Willow could die at any second, and everyone is getting antsy because you guys could die, and I just wanna get this over with. I'm missing lots of work time, and Xander is sad all the time and Tara's sad and angry," Anya looked over to them, unshed tears visible in her eyes.

Tara looked Dawn in the eyes, her deep sapphire vs Dawn's baby blue, "If you r-really wanna do this, Dawn, I trust you. Willow trusted you with her life before, I trust you with mine. I just hate putting you in danger like that."

Dawn nodded, "Technically, Willow had no choice. She was unconscious. Which I guess is almost the same as now." She gave a tight smile.

-x-

When they reentered the house, they were surprised to find the gang back upstairs. Everything seemed to be set up, Giles finishing off some candles, "We're all ready. We just need to decide on a second caster. There isn't a whole lot of room in here, but it's safer than the living room. The window down there tends to get smashed in quite a bit."

"Dawn. She'll be the one helping me," Tara made sure she put every ounce of seriousness behind her voice. As she started to see the argument in both Buffy's and Giles's eyes, "There's no more discussion. We have to do this, and despite my hating this plan, it's what we have. Dawn and Melody made good points. Let's just get this done."

Her and Dawn took their places at Giles instructions. As he was preparing, he shared a look with Buffy. She simply shook her head, knowing full well that they could argue or they could listen and trust Tara.

After a few minutes of getting Dawn and Tara completely familiar with everything, the room became silent, and just as Tara was reaching for Dawn's hands, the door downstairs opened. Buffy jumped, thinking everyone was here.

" 'Ello? Anyone home?" Spike looked around the deserted living room, before he saw Buffy appear at the top of the stairs, "Slayer. You havin' a party and didn't even invite me?"

"SPIKE! Seriously? You have any idea what you could have done?" Buffy wasn't in the mood for his antics, as the tension upstairs was so thick, her Slayer strength couldn't cut it.

He held his hands up, "Sorry. If you'd all keep me in the bloody loop…"

Buffy shook her head, "We're in the middle of trying to wake Willow up. If you're going to be here, make yourself useful and don't let anyone near this house until I say so!" She disappeared again, and Spike shrugged. After gathering a beer from the fridge, he quietly stepped outside to have a smoke and 'guard' the house.

When Buffy returned, she quickly explained, letting them know that there wouldn't be anymore interruptions, despite Giles obvious look of disgust. Once again, they had to rely on the filth that he believed was Spike, and he didn't like it.

Everyone took deep breaths, while they all watched, Giles squat down to look Tara in the eye, "While it's not completely predicted, do not let yourself be seen. Make sure it's Willow, and not a memory, you interact with."

Anya decided to give her own advice, "If your going to get caught, get caught by someone who wouldn't know you. Less chance of freak out and collapse. But don't get caught."

"It's like your own personal game of Where's Waldo. Except, it's Where's Willow," Xander tried to take some tension away.

Again Tara reached for Dawn's hands, feeling extremely weird, as her only casting partners before this had been either Willow or her mother. She took a few deep breaths, knowing Dawn wouldn't let her down. The last thing she remembered before closing her eyes was the determined look on Dawn's face.

-x-

Tara opened her eyes after what seemed like forever. The room around her was exactly how it had been before she closed her eyes. She was frustrated, wondering why the spell wasn't working, but it only took a few seconds to realize it was. The room was frozen, and there was almost an odd aura in the air. No one was blinking, not one single movement.

When her sight fell on Willow, the redhead was glowing faintly. She made her way to her beloved, "Where are you, my love?"

Her hand took a loose strand of red hair, tucking it behind Willow's ear. When her fingers touched the skin behind the redhead's ear, the world went spiraling, and Tara was quickly becoming nauseated. How her spirit could feel sick, she didn't know, but her stomach was all kinds of yuck.

When she finally caught her breath, she looked around. She was outside of a crypt. 'Surprise, surprise. I land in a cemetery. She couldn't have just been reading in the library?' She rolled her eyes, and tried to get her bearings. Before she could accurately tell which cemetery, a younger Willow appeared with a bag and thermos. Tara ducked down fast, hiding behind the wall on the other side of the door from her. When Willow made her way inside, Tara tried to stealthily follow, only managing to listen in at the doorway. There was too much light, and the door led immediately to stairs. She would be seen any closer, but the door was left open, so she could hear everything.

As she finally cued into the conversation, she couldn't believe the first memory she'd land in was this one, 'Are you kidding me? What Goddess did I piss off recently?!'

"Well, I knew you two had a lot in common, but…Don't touch me!" She could hear the pain in Willow's voice.

Then came Oz's reply, "She was gonna hurt somebody. I didn't have a choice."

"But you did. You could've told somebody. Your solution… Just put you two together in a room all night?" Willow's pain was breaking Tara's resolve, all she wanted to do was hold her. However, even if that was possible without danger, Willow wouldn't know who she was at this moment, anyway.

'That would be a scene. Hi, I'm your future lesbian lover, let me make it all better,' Tara thought to herself, shaking her head at her own ridiculousness. Oz's voice range clear when she tuned back in. He was telling someone to leave. She barely had time to hide when she saw the 'other' woman leaving the crypt.

By the time she could safely sneak back to the door, the conversation had moved forward more.

"No. I could sense something, but…" Oz sounded desperate.

"But you wanted her… Like in an animal way? Like…More than you wanted me?" Tara had heard the story once before, though Willow rarely talked about Oz after awhile, especially after he left a second time. She ducked again, as Willow left crying.

If this was supposed to be the world giving her an easy in to Willow's pain, it missed the mark by a lot. Even though Tara knew this had to happen for her to have a relationship with Willow, watching Willow's pain, or even listening to it, was far beyond difficult for her.

'Ok, so that's over. Do I follow Willow or…' Tara didn't get to finish her thought as she felt things shift and change, almost like fading to black at the end of a show.

-x-

The rest of the gang sat waiting. While it may have seemed like hours for Tara, it had only been minutes for them.

"Did it work?" Buffy stared really hard at Dawn, who had her eyes closed.

"Buffy, Dawn is still conscious. Don't make her lose her concentration," Giles reprimanded her for getting so close to the circle.

Buffy pouted, "My baby sister is in huge danger two feet from me, and I can't do anything. Don't get mad at me for being edgy and curious."

"She's older than you," Melody rolled her eyes, "by like, two years."

Faith just gave Melody a quick jab to her ribs, "Yo, hasn't even been a week. Let her get used to shit, Mermaid. I watched D become this age and I still have a hard time."

Buffy glared at the vampire while trying to figure Faith out.

-x-