Summary: Astoria loses her first baby. Narcissa finds and comforts her, sharing her own experience with loss.

Rated: T

Genre: Hurt/Comfort; Family

Competition/Challenge Block
Written For: Monthly Challenges for All (Year 6); Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 2.0 (Term 2); Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition (Season 11)

Quidditch: R03; Wanderers Beater 2 (Write about someone providing some kind of comfort.); [Color] Merlot; [Word] Worship

Hogwarts: A5; Citizenship Task 2 (Write about someone feeling like they are being tested.)

MC4A: Bingos: TrB (2A - Best Kept Secret); SpB (3D - Breakfast; 2A - Swirl; 5D - Boots/Wellies); ShipB (1A - Your Favorite)

Ship: [Star Maiden]; SpMic2 (Slimy; Green); SpMed2 (Water); Sp Big (Ribbon; Dress/Skirt)

Chim: (Hurt/Comfort; Baby Mine; Onyx)

Hunt: Item (Dress/Skirt); Con (Water); Set (Dawn); WD (Pagan; Woman)

Beta: WiseGryffindor

Word Count: 1,078 (1,046 without epigraph)

Warning Tag: References Miscarriage; Implies Thoughts of Suicide

Author's Note: Have the same recycled sad I love to write over n' over. :)

Baby Mine

.oOo.

Baby mine, don't you cry

Baby mine, dry your eyes

Rest your head close to my heart

Never to part, baby of mine

— Baby Mine by Bettie Midler (Dumbo 1941)

.oOo.

The sun had barely begun to rise above the horizon when Astoria made it to the pond located on the far side of the Malfoy Manor's estate. The abandoned stables behind her had long since been reclaimed by nature; green vegetation now outlining what it once was. She stood at the bank of the slimy blue-green water among the reeds and tall grass, uncaring of the mud already caking the sides of her wellies and staining the hem of her gown.

Her long merlot dress swirled gracefully around her ankles, the onyx ribbon that tied her hair back danced along as well in the soft, cool breeze, tangling in her dirty blond hair. Her eyes welled with unshed tears as she looked over the still water of the pond, its center an eerie black. It would be so easy to walk out into the water, allowing it to swallow her within its depths and erase her sadness.

"My goddess Hera. Why do you forsake me?" she pleaded, looking from the water to the sky. "Please, I beg you to forgive me for whatever it was that I did to displease you and the gods. I wish to have another chance…"

Astoria rested a hand on her stomach, then lowered her gaze to her feet and closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay.

"I will worship you however you desire me to, and if it means that I offer my loss as a sacrifice for your blessing, then I pray that you will accept it and will me to provide my husband an heir he deserves."

She drew a rose from a hidden pocket, brushing its soft petals against her lips as she kissed its merlot color that rivaled her dress. With a sharp drawn breath, she tossed the rose out towards the black center of the pond, watching as it landed and rippled the water outward caused by its presence.

Astoria heard someone coming toward her soon after, the soft swishing from the overgrown grass signaling their presence. She only turned her head ever so slightly in acknowledgement.

"Forgive my invasion of your privacy, Astoria," Narcissa said while approaching her, but not so close as to soil her shoes. "I couldn't help but notice your absence at morning tea."

It wasn't the first person she hoped to encounter in such a vulnerable state, but she had found herself turning toward her mother-in-law. Tears now freely falling as she closed the distance between them and pulled the older woman into an embrace.

"I'm sorry I have failed your son, Narcissa," Astoria sobbed into her shoulder. "I lost his legacy…"

She felt a gentle hand rest on her head. Its soft strokes through her hair provided a strange comfort that pulled a memory of her childhood to mind. It was the same way her own mother comforted her years ago. A stuttered breath was released.

"I'm sorry…"

"Shhh, sweetheart. You have no need to apologize to me for this," Narcissa assured.

"No one else knows… I… I only knew when I…" she stifled a sob, shaking her head. "I don't want to tell him."

"Do you need medical aid?"

Astoria shook her head. "No. My elf Dizzy helped me… I am alright… physically, anyway."

Narcissa nodded in understanding.

She carefully moved her hands to rest on Astoria's shoulders so she could pull her back some to make eye contact. Her eyes held concern and sadness for her, but they also offered security and peace.

"But Draco—"

"I promise you that my son has and will continue to worship the ground you walk on no matter what happens," Narcissa said, tapping the bottom of Astoria's chin with two fingers. "You have been so good to him and for him. I am blessed to call you my daughter."

Astoria accepted the handkerchief that Narcissa offered and dabbed her eyes and cheeks. Narcissa rested a hand on her back, wishing to guide her toward the Mansion.

"I have suffered this loss too," Narcissa said, starting the slow trek back through the grassy field. "More than once. Sometimes the same way as you have now. It is hard… devastating to endure this pain. But if there is one thing I never did, it was suffering alone."

They walked in silence for several long seconds while Astoria processed her words. As they soon approached the back gardens, Narcissa stopped and turned to face Astoria.

"You see these roses?" She asked, gesturing towards the mixed colors of blooming bushes nearby.

Astoria nodded. She had been there just before going to the pond, her eyes fixated on the bush of merlot roses nestled between its vibrant red and deep purple sisters. The cutting on it was still quite fresh. If Narcissa knew, she showed no irritation about its absence.

"They each represent a loss, yet they still bring beauty and elegance to my life. Reminding me of what they represent but also that the world is still beautiful in its cruelty," Narcissa explained.

It felt almost fitting that Astoria provided a symbolic offering from another. "They're lovely."

"If you wish, I will plant one in your honor," she offered.

"Maybe."

That felt more like her personal thing. She wouldn't want to intrude on it, but if Narcissa wanted, she wouldn't say no.

When they reached the courtyard, Narcissa collected Astora's hands in hers, giving them a squeeze.

"You shouldn't hold secrets against your spouse, either. It will fester... Draco loves you, no matter what happens, and neither of you deserve the pain secrets can cause. Especially something like this. I wish I could say I don't know that pain either, but…" she trailed off. "Do you understand?"

Narcissa raised her brows, waiting for confirmation. Astoria gave a reassuring nod, returning a squeeze of their hands. "Okay."

"Let's go have tea. I will be there for you when you tell him if you wish, is that alright?"

"Of course. Thank you, Narcissa."

"Anything for my daughter-in-law," she said.

They entered the manor together, heading for the sun room where fresh tea and breakfast were waiting. Draco would be present too, and her heart beat heavily at the foreboding conversation ahead.

But first, she needed to change shoes and the dress she soiled with mud.