End is just a beginning.
New-old fic for my old au.
Enjoy. Tha. Pain. And. ANGST!
This is it. He did it. He fixed the past, he made sure that nothing of what would have happened, happened. He freed all of them from pain and now… He was dying. He wasn't afraid of it, he knew that this was supposed to happen, he shouldn't be existing anymore. But the feeling of his body slowly crashing, falling to pieces was giving him bit of fear, but this fear won't last for long.
He was falling. Were? He wasn't sure. Maybe in the void where everyone who shouldn't exist are falling. Or maybe it was just how his brain was trying to protect him. Blood was streaming from his mouth, from his wounds but he didn't cared about this.
He did what he had to do, he helped them, he changed Rex's fate. He made sure that wedding ended well, he made sure that nobody got hurt and it was enough for him to be proud of himself. Of his younger self that never going to go through any kind of pain, even his.
He was all alone for years trying to create working portal, to fix everything. All these years wanting to return in past and see his friends, even if they won't recognize him. He wanted to never be alone again, but now, it doesn't matter anymore.
He wasn't that naïve, weak person he once was, but still the feeling of hate was somewhere deep down. He is not angry at his past self, he was angry at himself. He wasn't fast enough to save his friends, he wasn't strong enough to wait for them.
Maybe if he didn't run to find them, maybe they would have still be alive. Maybe if he learned to wait, he wouldn't have been where he is. Wouldn't be falling in the void of pain and screams. The screams of others like him, but this pain won't last for long.
Slowly he his body was feeling numb. Slowly his skin, his body was burning, destroying itself. Only few moments and he will be gone and then everything would be as it should be. He always knew that this is going to happen, from the very start.
"Lucille… I'm sorry" This phrase was the last thing he said, his last breath. His heart stopped. It was the end for him. The pain was slowly fading way, just like him. And now there was nothing, but void. Void that eats everyone.
…
No more pain.
…
No more thoughts.
….
No more worry.
…
No more life.
…
No more Edward.
…
Or there was still someone named Edward.
Rustle of leaves in the wind was the first thing he heard. Then there was feeling of dizziness and pain. The body was feeling this pain. His body was feeling the pain. His head, his chest, his legs, his heart. Everything was screaming of pain.
Slowly opening his heavy eyes he saw only darkness. The same endless darkness. Maybe he was just still dying, this is going to end, sooner or later. But after sometime darkness stared to fade away, revealing sky. Dark rainy sky.
It was raining. Rain drops were falling on his bleeding face. Yes, it was indeed his face. But he wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to die, he was no longer real for this universe. He had fixed the past.
Slowly he raised his hand and touched his chin. He was still his self. His full grown up self and he was alive. He was reading and analyzing everything about paradoxes, but it was something he never expected to happen. Not to him.
But still he was there, lying on the ground hurt, confused, exhausted. His lab coat was ripped, his body was damaged, some of his long light-brown locks were burnt, just like his small beard, but he was still breathing.
His breathing was heavy and painful. But it's shouldn't be possible. He was supposed to die. And if he is still alive, maybe he did everything right? Maybe universe gives him second chance to live as a price of giant work he had done?
Maybe in the end, the fact that he was ready to die and even greeted death as long lost friend saved him. Maybe he was supposed to live after all? But… If so, where is he supposed to live? The past is not the place for future.
Then maybe he returned back to his universe? The universe that was supposed to be destroyed, but in the end was still here. Just like him. They both were still alive and now, he was finally home. Hurt, alone, but happy.
Now the feeling of rain falling on his face made him feel better. His wounds were still bleeding, but it didn't matter anymore. He was too weak to help himself, to even sit. He was just lying there and listening to rain. The rustle of leaves, the sound of his heartbeat.
He was always caring about lives of people. Every life, even the life of smallest insect was priceless and now experiencing said death, he was sure that he did everything right. And now the only thing that matter was this fact and nothing more.
He was lying there for lots of hours. Rain already ended, but he was still there. Still looking in the dark sky and thinking about his adventures and why he didn't ended up like Rex. He wasn't stuck on Undar sure, but being alone in small laboratory, isolated from people and filled with almost maniacal want to change the past was not the healthiest thing for people's mind either.
Maybe it was the fact that he knew who Rex was and what he did. He didn't wanted to end up like him. He never wanted to take revenge or destroy anything, he just wanted to never see his friends die before his eyes. Never hear their screams.
He never wanted to be weakling who couldn't save them. The naïve idiot who believed a stranger, a pathetic boy who wasn't strong enough to kill someone before he killed his friends. But was he really that strong person now that he's Edward?
Being able to fix the mistakes, help person who needed this, save himself from following his fate, look death in the eyes and not fear death were the things not everyone would be able to do. Especially after know that this is going to be theirend.
But even after doing all of this he was still weak. Not because he once was weak, but because he allowed himself for even one moment think about not doing what he did because he didn't wanted to die. He was afraid to die and all these years he was trying to tell himself that his is the only way how to fix everything.
But there was always small part of him that wanted to not fix anything, that wanted to return back in time and live there. He would still be alive because Emmet would have still went through his pain but at least he could have seen his friends alive again.
And maybe even befriended them, so he could always be near them and keep them safe for as long as he could. Yes he was bit selfish, but he managed to overcome this, because he was not a selfish person, bit weak? Maybe weak and naive, but not selfish that's for sure.
"Hey mister?" Edward's heart skipped a beat. Who was calling him? He though that he was all alone here. But considering the way how that voice sounded and from where it was going, it must be a kid. A girl to be more correct.
Slowly he turned his head to the right and saw her face. Beautiful black hair werefalling on her face, small light-purple coat, blue pants and small orange umbrella. She reminded him of his Lucy, of love of his love, his Lucille.
"Uh… You need help?" She nervously stepped closer. That made Edward smile a bit. Kids are so cute when they are bit scared but still want to help someone they don't know, "Maybe I can help you stand or call someone?"
"Don't worry about it" He wanted to say, but his throat was burning and small trickle blood was still streaming from his mouth. This kid doesn't have to worry about him, he was through much worse. He'll be fine.
Slowly shaking his head he smiled a bit at girl. The confusion on her face made his heart warm. At least now he had one person who was caring for him, even if he was a complete stranger to her and everyone else here.
"But mister, you are bleeding." She carefully kneeled before him, "Maybe I can call my mommy? She can help you" This kid was so gentle and kind. He never thought that someone would talk to him like that. It was something new and something nice.
Slowly nodding he heard loud footsteps. Kid was running home to call her mother how sweet. Looking back at sky Edward smiled. Kid left her umbrella and now it was covering him from wind and dust that were flying around.
Maybe he did a mistake isolating himself from people? Maybe if he just asked them to help him he wasn't feeling so strange. But he did what he did, there was no way to change the past anymore, his portal broke anyway.
"Here!" Edward slowly looked there and his eyes widened a bit. Next to kid who was running to him, was someone he never thought to see again. She was looking older and, her hair was dyed, now had a lot of scars, but still it was she was going to help him.
Kneeling before him she took his hand and listened to his weak pulse, "For how long you've been here?" She asked. Hearing her voice, the voice he almost forgot after these long 20 years was something that made his heart race.
"I don't think he can talk mummy" Kid looked and him and smiled sadly, "Mummy, can you help him?" By the look on woman's face she was not that happy about this idea, but he was too hurt and it seemed that her heart couldn't refuse.
"I don't think that you're dad going to like this" She looked at Edward and he smiled a bit. Even with scars she was still looking like herself, "But we can't leave him here either, he needs help" And with that she threw his hand on her shoulder and slowly started to make her way home.
After these long years she sure got a lot stronger, maybe was training somewhere, or maybe she now works as medic or someone similar. But does it really matter? No. The only thing that matters that she is alive.
"Dear, can you help me please?" Edward heard loud footsteps and the main door opened. There stood man. Small beard, scar on lip, ruffled brown hair, giant eye bags under eyes. He was wearing blue suit and dark blue pants. Benny sure changed a lot for the past years.
Letting them enter, Benny closed the door and looked at Edward. Something in his eyes was different. They were no longer shining with hope and happiness, now they were cold and tired. His life must have been not easier than Edward's.
"May my dear, please don't tell me that you are planning to help him" The sound of his now rough and deep voice was clearly unusual to hear from him, but the playful smirk on lips, was indeed his.
"I am planning and you better bring me some bandages and antiseptic" Mayhem smiled and looked at her husband that mumbled something before going in other room. They were married and even having a kid. He sure did the right thing.
And now, feeling how his friend that again was alive and living happy life she deserved, made him smile. He did the right thing and now, if Mayhem and Benny were alive…
Maybe his Lucille would be alive too?
More notes.
Woah. It's sure a strange feeling to write something like this? Like I'm not that used to it and now I'm kinda confused? XD
Not sure when the next chapter going to be, I mean, it's just new to me and I need to get used to writing like this so yeah.
See ya all later!
For more stuff on this and other au's welcome to my Tumblr, where I go by the same name as here:
HybridAlex17