A/N: Thank you for all the views and favorites on this one. It took a long time to write, so I'm glad its being enjoyed! It means a lot that those of us still out there miss the show just like I do. Sometimes it seems like it's been off the air for only a few weeks, and others it was like a different life. Anyway, please read and review, it keeps me motivated!
He went back to the Palace, he went to Llanfair, he went to the Buchanan's, he went to Rodi's, he went to BE and he went to the docks before he realized that if Natalie was unwelcome everywhere, there was only one place she would have gone.
He opened the door to the rooftop of the Angel Square Hotel, and she stood as though she was ready to flee. He could tell she was crying before he even took a step towards her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't have anywhere else to go"
He took her in his arms in a tight hug, "Sshh"
"I'm going to take a different room, I promise, I won't mess this up, I just needed some time"
"Ssshhh" he said, "don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong"
"I didn't stop it. If I had said something- "
"Stop" he said, "I saw exactly what happened. You didn't touch him. This is not your fault. And it wasn't you that decided to keep your mouth shut. None of this is your fault"
"You saw it?"
"Ramsey sent me to the scene."
"Shouldn't you be getting back to the station?"
"No. Antonio and Talia are covering for me. No one followed me, Antonio is going to keep Ramsey's flunkies busy. I am here for you" he said, "I saw what happened"
"It just all happened so fast" she said, "and Jess lost her husband. Bree lost her dad"
"Not because of you" he said, "Nash was going to go after you, and then where would you be, huh?"
"He'd just lost everything. We all lost everything, and I could have stopped it"
"Your dad told you not to"
"You're right" she said, "but – I just feel awful"
"None of this is your fault" he said, "and you know, you were right there, I could have lost you, too"
"That would have been less of an issue it seems"
"Don't talk like that" he whispered, "I can put a stop to all this. You need a place to live, you can just move back in with me, we can go back, they'll all understand- "
"I can't ask you to do that. Especially now, Bo's out of a job, we all are"
"You are more important than a job and Bo would be the first one to tell me so"
"It was so terrible, John"
"You can tell me all about it" he said, "now let's get you inside and get in bed and you can tell me everything"
"I can't stay here"
"You can sneak a room from Roxy if you want, but like I said, Antonio and Talia are covering me and there's nothing happening tonight to make me not take care of you"
She collapsed fully into his arms and let him rub her back and her hair, and she cried freely until she couldn't cry anymore. Then, silently, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her into their bed. He held her close and she cried herself to sleep.
She woke up when she smelled the coffee being put next to her.
"Hey" he said simply.
"What time is it?"
"8:00" he said and sat next to her as she sat up.
"Shouldn't you be gone by now?"
He shook his head, "I talked to Antonio. He's got it covered"
"Taking an awful big risk, isn't it?"
"Natalie, you needed me last night"
"I did" she said, "and I still do, and you can't keep being there for me"
"Just ask, I'll do it" he said, and he pushed her hair behind her ear.
She took a sip of coffee, "I'm trying so hard not to"
"It's okay" he said, "what happened last night, no one would blame you – "
"But this is bigger than me. Than you. Than us" she said, "Believe me, I am so thankful you were able to be there for me last night. I wish you could be there for me all day today and the days that are going to come" she said, "but I've been through a lot worse without you, and I can do this, too"
"There is nothing you can't do" John said.
She managed a small smile as she sipped her coffee, "Where were you when my dad threw me under the bus?"
"Why did he do that?"
"Jared told me what Dorian was about to say about ten seconds before she said it. Dad turned that into something much bigger, like I'd known something and I kept it from him" she said, "and then Nash and Jess saw Jared kiss me and – "
"Yeah" he said, looking down, "I saw the tapes"
"He forced it. I tried to get away, but – well, you saw" Natalie said.
"He's interested in you" John said, "the tapes didn't have sound, but – "
"He told me he loved me yesterday" she said, "he said he loved us like family and then he told me he loved me"
"You know, he did perpetrate a fraud" John said, "I could arrest him"
"You'd like that wouldn't you" she said, "I'm sure my dad probably already had him arrested. Or maybe not. You never know with Ramsey"
John nodded, "Just – if you wanted to – "
"Stop it. You gave me everything I could have wanted last night. You took a huge risk to do it. That's not lost on me. You're going to do this, and you're going to do it right and we'll be better off because of it"
"And what about you?" he asked, "if they don't see through all this – you're going to be ostracized and your family's going to hate you for a while"
"I can take it"
"Your sister, Natalie, I know how much she means to you"
"She's going to need a lot of help. I can do it"
"Your mom doesn't want you in the house. I'm willing to bet your dad doesn't either"
"On that point, you are correct" she said, "I can take out a room here. Maybe sneak down to see you every once in a while. Roxy won't care or notice"
"I just hate that this happening to you right now"
"Me too" she said, "but Bo needs this, now"
"If you ever – just say the word, Natalie"
She nodded, "I know"
He sighed, "It's taking everything in me to leave you here"
She touched his face, "I know" she said, "it's taking everything in me not to ask you to stay"
"I will" he said, and he leaned into her hand.
"You can't" she whispered, and she kissed him gently, "but thank you. For everything"
He gently kissed her again, "Finish your coffee. And then do what you gotta do. Just be careful"
She nodded, as he kissed her one more time before he got up to leave. He turned back at the door. He just looked at her. He wanted to remember her looking just like that. In his bed, drinking coffee out of the mug she'd left, wearing his t-shirt. It was a sight he'd seen more than he could count, but he didn't know when he'd see her in this light again. He wished he could say all that, he wished he was the type of guy that could put all those thoughts in words.
Instead, he just said, "you look pretty" and he left.
He settled into the squad room next to Talia, Antonio was across the room seething. Ramsey passed them all on the way in.
"McBain, Sahiid, thank you for your report on the situation at the Palace. I'm led to believe the victim died last night"
"Yes, sir. Nash Brennan" Talia said.
"Have charges been filed?" Ramsey asked.
"Not to my knowledge" Talia answered.
"Good work, the report was thorough. McBain, I'm impressed with the caliber of the report"
John nodded, accepting the compliment like he'd never written a report before. Ramsey repeated the compliment to Antonio.
"Thank you" John said to Talia once Ramsey was talking to Antonio.
"Anytime, John" she said, "did you find her?"
He nodded.
"How is she?"
He would usually hide the truth when it came to talking about his relationship at work. But this situation was making it really hard to not be honest with her, "She's in rough shape. Everyone thinks it's her fault. Her dad threw her under the bus" he paused, "she's probably going to have to stay at the Angel Square Hotel" he paused, "it took everything in me to leave her alone this morning"
"I'm so sorry, John"
"We just got to finish this" he said, "It's bigger than me, but – "
"She needs you" Talia said, looking at Antonio, "and you can't do anything about it"
"Yeah" he said.