Chapter 7 - Doing What's Best

The bar was packed on a Saturday in the middle of summer, demons and humans alike gathered around tables, consuming alcohol as they listened to strangers butchering their favourite songs. In fact, it was a typical evening at Caritas, despite it still being particularly early, full of happy people enjoying the stress-free environment it offers.

However, in one red velveted booth in the darkest corner of the room, a vampire and his receptionist were nursing what must have been their fifth round of drinks.

They were drowning their sorrows from the past couple of weeks, (whilst Wes stayed at the hotel getting the young cub through bedtime) Angel in particular contemplated the choices they'd made that got them to this point.

"God, what was we even thinking, taking in Lindsey?" The vampire whined, taking yet another large mouthful of his 'Bloody Mary' followed by an unneeded gasp for air. "It's not like any of us had any experience raising a kid."

"We were trying to help." Cordelia then reminded him before adding, "for all the good it did," in a soft and sulking voice. "But it's not like we could do what Gunn said and just send him off to some adoption agency. Wolfram and Hart would just get their hands on him again."

And that was true, there really weren't any good options here, however...

"Like were any better. I mean... Jesus Corde, you should have seen the look on his little face when I snapped at him. It was awful and I can't get the image of it out of my head".

"I know how you feel. I've screwed up just as bad and seen that same look he gets when he's afraid he's in trouble... I think he needs guardians that know how to deal with kids that have been traumatised in the past. You know with like counselling and stuff like that."

It was a good point, one that was punctuated by Lourne bringing them another round of drinks.

"We're just on a learning curve, guys. It will take some time..."

"Time? I don't think time is going to do anything here." Angel quickly slammed back a couple of shots, wishing that he could actually feel alcohol's benefits for once, but as always his curse got in the way. "I just feel like everything I do is a mistake, and it's an innocent child that I'm screwing up."

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Lindsey sat quietly in his makeshift room, feeling small and out of place on the large and silky bed that he was borrowing for an uncertain amount of time, staring at the walls that were a plain white colour looking stark against the dark grey curtains. It wasn't like this place was meant for someone like him, clearly, these people weren't expecting to have a kid thrown into their lives all of a sudden. But as the weeks dragged on, it was becoming more and more obvious that Angel and his friends never really wanted Lindsey here, they just took him in under some misguided sense of duty.

It was that conclusion that led the weretiger to this point, sniffling softly into his borrowed pillow as he contemplated his life and what had directed him here.

'Mama was right, nobody wants me, no matter what they say. Even if I wasn't a monster, Mama still says I'd be no good. Too naughty to go t' school, too stupid to be helpful 'round the house, so why would anybody want me taking up space? No wonder Mr Angel is mad at me, probably wants his bed back.

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Maybe I should just leave. Daddy always said I was a mistake, said Mama made a deal with the devil, and now he was payin' the price. And now Miss 'Delia and Mr Wes are stuck the same, and they don't deserve that. But if I left, I'm sure they would just go back to normal, probably having too much fun to even notice I was gone.'

And as the young boy's mind filled with images of happy adults living life without him, doing all the things he thought they would do if they weren't hampered by his presence, Lindsey's resolve grew until he was pulling himself to his feet and sneaking into the night.

"Yeah, I think this is best."

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Meanwhile downstairs in the kitchen

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Wesley was busy preparing a dinner for the young were-cub, something healthy and good for growing children, or at least that was what a book he found in his library had told him. Truth be told, the tome was a little old-looking, and maybe some of its other suggestions seemed out of date, but food was food, no matter what year it was.

The watcher had just finished chopping some cabbage to go with the liver and beans he'd already cooked up, the smell of it a little unappealing as it bubbled and squealed on the stovetop, and now he was mixing it all together, ready to be taken upstairs.

"Hope Lindsey likes this because honestly, he really needs all the nutrients he can get."

It was the fuel of this hope, that had Wesley skipping quickly down the corridor bowl in hand, thinking about the fruit he might cut up for a special after-dinner treat.

"Lindsey," the watcher knocked on the door before opening it. "Dinners ready…

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…Lindsey?"

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"Look, guys…" Having heard a few too many renditions of either Wonderwall or Tears in Heaven for one night, Lourne had quietly retreated to the dark corner of Caritas where his friends were brooding, hoping to offer some sage words of wisdom. "I still think we can do this, we just need to get better organised."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" The comment was spoken downwards into the murky contents of the young secretary's glass, her eyes sullen as she swallowed the tick well of emotions caught in her throat. She hated the thoughts that were swarming in her head, about the possibility of abandoning the young boy, merely on the premise of their ineptitude. However, it seemed like that was their only option now. "I mean it's not like we have any idea on what we are doing."

"Neither do a lot of first-time parents, Cordie," the demon smiled softly at his friend, "That's what parenting books are for. Here," he then handed her one of said books that he brought online the other day. "I already started looking things up, and from what I read, setting a steady routine is very helpful in these early years."

"What do you mean? Like doing things at certain times? Because I feel like we tried that already, but the kid was either too hyper to go to bed or too tired to get up, and nothing we did was ever right."

"And it will seem like that, for a while at least. Just until Lindsey gets used to everything."

"I guess..." the young woman shrugged and hesitated a small smile. "If you think it will work, I wouldn't mind giving this another shot. I would feel awful just giving up on the kid, knowing he's done nothing to deserve it."

"Why don't we start simple? Like meals at a set time. Bed and nap schedules. And bathtime twice a week before bed." The demon suggested, quickly turning to his vampire friend who was unusually quiet in his corner of the booth. "Angel you could do that, right?"

And well, it was probably an understatement to say that Angel looked uneasy at the thought, as he softly muttered, "Lourne I don't..." But then his phone rang and before he could finish his sentence, the vampire leapt from his seat and started running toward the door. "We need to get back to the hotel."

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"WES! Have you found him?"

After receiving a frantic call from his watcher, the vampire jumped into his car and sped all the way back to the hotel where he was living. If his cheeks were capable of it, he was sure they would be reddened from the sheer stress of the situation, as he shouted across the lobby over to his friend.

"No." As Wesley made his way to the front door, his breath catching in his throat as if he'd been running, which he had. "I looked in your room, the kitchen, my study, I've even been around the grounds, but nothing." He was still looking around as he spoke, even though he'd checked this area a half dozen times already. "I just don't understand why he would run off all of a sudden."

And well Angel thought he might know why, not that he mentioned it to the others.

"Right, let's split up," the vampire then ordered. "I don't think he would have left the hotel."

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Over the next couple of hours, Wes did another search of the ground floor whilst Cordelia took the number of rooms upstairs, and Lourne searched the basement, not expecting to find anything. Meanwhile, Angel checked the outbuildings, around the grounds, as well as some other areas his friends didn't know about.

The vampire was about to make a second round of the front entrance, using the last of the night whilst he could still walk outside, when a small moving shadow caught his eye.

The movement came from an old, abandoned solarium that sat at the rear of the hotel, a small hexagon-shaped building made of tall glass windows, covered in overgrown ivy and connected by brick columns.

It was a beautiful structure, just not something the vampire felt the need to do anything with, other than use it as storage for some of the hotel's old furnishing.

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After prising open the rusted back door, Angel stepped into the sunroom, keeping his eyes peeled for that same shadow that caught his attention before. "Lindsey...?" The vampire squinted at the small ball curled in the centre of the room, his little body washed in the moonlight that crept through the gaps in the ivy.

"Lindsey, are you ok?"

The cub was snoring softly, his whiskers moving slightly as breath pushed them away from his face, until a gentle touch from the vampire's hand had him startling awake.

"Wh-wh-what? Where…" Lindsey stuttered, scuttling further back on trembling legs as he figured out where he was, startling him even more "Ah-ah-I'm sorry, Mr Angel. I- I can be, be s-someplace else. I p-promise"

"Why would you do that?" the immortal asked quickly, just now noticing the tear tracks that were staining his now human face. "Oh, Lindsey… Lindsey, I'm so sorry I snapped at you. That was wrong of me." Angel brought the boy in closer, holding him tight so he couldn't slip away again, not that the boy was honestly trying.

"It's ok. I knows I trouble. Mama tolds me so."

"You're not trouble. And anyone who tells you you are, is wrong, ok?

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Come on then, let's get you out of here. I think Wes made you some lunch, but between you and me, it doesn't look too good."

And with that, the vampire started walking, the cubs hand held tightly in his own, but he stopped when he felt a tug at the appendage.

"What's up, Lin?" Angel questioned, looking at the boy who in turn was staring up towards the sky.

He looked nervous, but still, he asked, "Can we... Can we stay, just a li'l longer. I likes lookin' at the moon." And in return, he received a nod from the patiently waiting vampire.

…

It was a beautiful sight, the cub smiling brightly in the soft moonlight, and Angel wished he could make him grin like that every day.

And maybe he could.

'It would take some work and some major redecorating. But Lindsey does need a room of his own, somewhere to keep his toys and his books. Plus, he already seems to like it here…'

"This could work."

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"So, Lourne… What would you suggest for this routine?"

Lindsey was taken back to Angel's room for the evening, (though the vampire was already formulating plans for the pup's new room and how he was going to surprise the kid) leaving the team some privacy as they talked about next steps.

They were all looking to the demon in their group, seeing as he already seemed to have some sort of plan brewing, and had actually researched the topic instead of brooding for the past couple of weeks.

"Well..." Lourne answered, bracing himself as if he was about to make some long speech. "I've done some thinking and what I came up with is this… Cordelia would be in charge of morning and breakfast since she knows how to cook and likes planning the kid's outfits. Wes schooling, for obvious reasons. I would entertain Lindsey in the afternoons before I need to leave for the bar. And Angel, you would take the nighttime shift, bathing and putting Lindsey to bed, seeing as how you're the only one who spends their nights here.

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Does that work with everyone?"