Usopp glances ahead of him where Zoro has Luffy tossed over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The pair hadn't bothered with raincoats like Usopp, or even umbrellas like Nami and Brook. Probably never noticed the rain at all. Luffy certainly doesn't notice. He's still too drunk to realize he's being hoisted around like this. Instead he's entertaining everyone with his latest attempt at singing.

"The feet in the mud go splat! The worms in the ground wear hats! And the birds in the trees are bees with knees and they sing songs all so… Tat? Flat? Flat-a-tat! Flat-a-tattooee!"

Like all of his captain's songs, this one is fun but needs work. If nothing else the rain is drowning out the cacophony of music so none of the locals are turning on their lights to yell at them as they walk by.

It's not that Usopp ever doubted Luffy's ability to get drunk. It's just that on the rare occasion he does drink, with Luffy's insane metabolism he always gets drunk, metabolizes the booze, then has a hangover all in the span of an hour. Devil fruit metabolism is serious stuff. Luffy's in particular.

And apparently so is this island's special, super-secret, the-marines-will-arrest-us-for-this-strength local grain alcohol.

The same grain alcohol Luffy downed four bottles of only 3 hours ago. He's been a loopy, incoherent mess ever since.

Currently the five Straw Hats that braved the rain to visit the local tavern are on their way home to the Sunny. Usopp's glad there's no wind tonight, he doesn't think the hood of his raincoat would stay in place through more than a light breeze. As it is, the downpour is heavy enough and the walk back to port is just long enough that he's still soaked thru. He's also just sobered up enough that his beer coat is no longer keeping him warm.

Maybe Franky could help him develop a waterproof coating in a can? Something Usopp can spray on his jacket to make it instantly waterproof again. If nothing else, he's happy to spend quality time tinkering with Franky.

Next to him, Nami groans from under her umbrella, a fanciful thing gifted to her by Sanji covered in orange and pink swirls. "I can't decide if Luffy's serious or not when he makes these songs."

"Since when does he put any real thought into any of his songs?" Usopp points out.

From her other side, Brook lets out a hearty 'yohohoho' laugh. He's the only one nodding along in metronome time to Luffy's off-key singing. "Our captains love of music is to be encouraged! Music brings love and smiles to the faces of all who allow it to tickle their ears, myself included. Though I have no ears to tickle. Skull joke!"

Usopp hears Nami huff, louder than normal. She may not be as drunk as Luffy, not with her iron liver, but she's definitely tipsy and looser than usual after her whiskey indulgences tonight. "Music is not how Luffy shows love. That's how YOU show love, Brook."

"And how, pray tell, do you show love, Miss Nami? Perhaps by sharing your panties with- Yowch! Yohohoho!"

Nami's high kick has only gotten more terrifying since Brook joined the crew, and the years since have given her every opportunity to perfect it, tipsy or otherwise.

"That's not how love languages work!"

Ahead of them, Zoro's boots squelch right into a muddy puddle in the road and he snorts, "Not this nonsense again."

"It's not nonsense. I told you before, they're called love languages," Nami corrects Zoro. She deftly sidesteps the puddle, right into Usopp for a step. "Ah! Sorry Usopp."

"It sounds like the kind of bullshit that morons get from stupid magazines and quake doctors."

"It's not bullshit!" Nami yells back. "Knowing how different people show affection helps you understand them better!"

Zoro scoffs, "Helps YOU take advantage of them, more like. Also sounds like you're rationalizing buying shit we don't need."

Usopp's glad Sanji is on guard duty back at the Sunny tonight. The cook would just be cursing up a storm at Zoro for having cursed in front of Nami and they'd both go in circles attacking each other. No one would be safe from the mud then.

"It's called gift giving. And it's a form of self-love that I'm practicing for me."

"How is that different than what I said?"

"It just is!"

Usopp's worried they're gonna go in circles if they keep this up. He puts on a brave face that would've been braver if he still had his beer coat, pointedly coughs and interrupts, "Nami, say we buy into the whole love language thing. What are we supposed to do with it? I don't like buying stuff to get people to like me."

"That's not- Ugh! Your love language isn't gift giving, Usopp. It's quality time and words of affirmation."

Brook chimes in, suddenly inspired. "Perhaps those two gentlemen at the bar are gift givers! They were so kind to gift us those bottles of local grain brew! Even if Luffy did consume all of them at once. And they had such amusing hats! Fishing tackle all over!"

Usopp watches his captains head lolling upside down in front of him, worried he'll start oozing toward the ground any second with how he's flopped over. But Luffy stays more or less solid. Usopp mutters under his breath, "Bottles of brain-drain, more like."

"Exactly! Knowing how to charm a gift-giver can get you all kinds of free stuff." Nami twirls her umbrella in emphasis. "Just think if Luffy had any of my charm? Can you imagine the free stuff we'd get out of it?"

"Uh, Nami? Your eyes turned into berris…"

Zoro turns his head back to squint at Nami. Suspicious and frowning. "You think you've got everyone on the crew pegged, don't you?"

"Well not everyone, but I have ideas. Sanji uses gift giving, but you and Sanji both also use acts of service. And Chopper loves receiving words of affirmation."

"Wait, Chopper loves getting words but doesn't give them? Or he gives them too? I'm confused."

Nami thinks for a moment. "He loves getting them, but I think he shows love with acts of service. It's a very Doctor-thing."

Usopp frowns. "Then since Torao's a doctor that's his love language too? I thought his would be sadism or overthrowing governments."

"Yohoho! I believe we can safely argue that overthrowing Doflamingo and Kaido's operations were acts of service to the world!"

Luffy has gone quiet by now. It must have Zoro worried because he jostles Luffy on his shoulder to wake him up. Luffy hiccups as his singing resumes. "Birds and- Hic!- bees! And trees with knees! And pretty bees with, pretty… uh… Whatcha guys talkin' about?"

"Love languages."

"Wassa love language? Can I eat it?"

Nami huffs, "Not unless someone gifts you food, Luffy. Like Sanji does. There's five types. Words of affirmation, gift-giving, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. Luffy, you're all about physical touch."

Usopp, Brook, and Zoro nod together. "Agreed."

Luffy blinks, not listening to the explanation. "I'm hungry. Nami, buy me some food!"

She sighs. "If it'll help you sober up, then I'll get Sanji to make you something back on the Sunny. Deal?"

"Wha?"

"Nevermind. As you were, captain."

Luffy takes that as permission to start singing again. Usopp has long since lost the thread of Luffy's lyrics. They bend into unimaginable shapes known only to Luffy. Somehow, Luffy's song about birds and bees with knees and worms with hats has morphed into Luffy waxing poetic about something pretty.

"So pretty, pretty but. No but! 's perdy 'cause it's a perdy butt! With bees and knees, and trees and breeze, but pretty please!"

Now that Usopp is paying attention, he can almost imagine a rhythm to Luffy's slapping arms, draped down Zoro's back. A da-da-dum, dee-dum that reminds him of the melodies Brook professionally tosses around during lazy evenings after dinner.

Wait.

"Luffy, are you trying to play the drums with Zoro's ass?"

From next to him Nami gapes, "Is that what he's doing?"

Luffy heaves a complaint, hands too uncoordinated to actually grab Zoro's ass and just grabbing at cloth and air. "Where's Torao butt? 's a pretty butt!"

Usopp barely stops himself from laughing out loud, the sound an aborted snort against the hand covering his mouth. Nami and Brook aren't faring much better, but Brook manages to force out a question. "Is that so, Luffy? It's not too skinny for you? Though I'm the last person who should complain about being skinny. I'm nothing but bones!"

His captain is just coherent enough to be offended on his boyfriend's behalf. "It's perf-to! Perfuh? 's per-fecto!"

The melody is long gone but Luffy is still gushing and lost in the drunk imaginings playing out in his head, arms still flailing midair over Zoro's back. "Wanna see Torao's butt. Stop hidin' under jac'ets an' lemme see!"

Usopp can only imagine the tomato-shade of red creeping its way up Zoro's face. The guy's stoicism is the stuff of legend on the Sunny when dealing with Luffy's antics. But even Buddha has limits.

Luffy's hands finally make contact and squeeze Zoro through his pants. Zoro flinches, jostling Luffy on his shoulder. This only amuses Luffy into giggles until he squeezes again and frowns. A confused 'huh?' and then a complaining whine before Luffy boldly declares, "S'not Toaro's butt! Too squishy!"

Usopp, Nami, and Brook double over, clinging to each other in desperate joy and, after a full minute of laughing, stomach cramps. Some of the neighboring port houses are just now turning their lights on at the noise. But who cares? This is the kind of stuff petty blackmail dreams are made of.

Luffy is either too drunk to notice the riot he's caused, or he's enough of a chaos gremlin to purposefully be egging them all on. Usopp doesn't care about the answer. Not when Luffy is still giving golden moments like, "Squishy-Zoro! Squishy like a fishy!"

"I have to tell Sanji this! This is too perfect!" Usopp knows Zoro will kill him for it later, but Sanji will protect him. He'll get an absolute kick out of this new nickname material too.

Nami has recovered from her laughing fit just enough to add, "We have to get Jinbei's advice. He can tell us whether Zoro's ass is really squishier than any fish he knows!"

That sets the three of them off again, and once Luffy's drunken brain catches up with the laughter around him, he chortles and joins them, hiccupping every few seconds.

It's too dark to see Zoro's face when he whips toward them, but Usopp likes to imagine it's darkened from tomato red to a shade of red not dissimilar to a spanked ass. "All of you, shut up!"

"Aww don't be like that Zoro!" Usopp tells him, still not recovered. "Luffy's just drunk and loves his boyfriend, that's all."

Zoro scowls. "You're an asshole."

"Torao, lemme lick your asshole 'gain!"

A beat of silence, then Usopp, Nami, and Brook can't stop their full-bellied laughter from bursting out.

"All of you can fuck off!"

"Torao! Fuck! Can we please, Torao?"

Zoro growls instead of using words. But the damage is done. For the last few minutes of the trek back to the Sunny he grumbles while Luffy waxes drunken symphonies to his boyfriend's ass and Usopp and the others are laughing and committing the moment to memory for future blackmail purposes.

When they arrive back on the Sunny, Franky is just heading up to the crows nest to relieve Sanji from watch. Sanji hops down and greets them as they enter the kitchen to dry off. Puddles form under their feet as they shake off their clothes and umbrellas. Zoro actively shakes Luffy on his shoulder, Luffy adding totally necessary sound effects in drunken amusement. Sanji grabs towels for all of them, handing one lovingly to Nami while throwing them at the others faces.

Usopp pulls the towel from his head, still snickering over their recent chat. "Sanji! We've got stories for you! But can we get a snack first? Even Luffy's gonna have a killer hangover tomorrow with how drunk he is."

Sanji's surprise is clear on his face. "Luffy's drunk? Is that why seaweed-head look pissier than normal? He couldn't protect Luffy from himself?"

Luffy takes that moment to jump in, ever helpful, "Squishy-fishy butt! Zoro's fishy butt!" His hands don't quite find their target, but he manages to squeeze the cloth of Zoro's pants. Zoro flinches anyway.

Usopp and his drinking companions should be too tired to keep laughing by now, but Sanji is experiencing this for the first time tonight. Luffy's antics have the cook doubled over in laughter, which has the others laughing again too. Zoro is never going to live this down.

"All of you, shut up! You take him then!" Zoro tosses Luffy in Usopp's general direction. Like any great and powerful warrior of the sea, Usopp catches his water-logged captain. His knees only buckle a little, but that's normal when you've been out drinking and laughing at the expense of your friend all night.

Usopp drags Luffy over to the table, flops him into his chair and barely holds back another laugh as Luffy's face falls forward, splatting in a sound not unlike a squishy fish on deck.

Chopper is reading a book at the table, and hops over when they enter, questions fluttering out of his mouth at a mile a minute. "Luffy's drunk? What did he drink? How much was there? How long ago was this? Did he eat anything? He should eat something. Sanji, Usopp's right! We need snacks! Proper nutrition is vital to head off a hangover! Yes, even for you Brook! How are the rest of you doing? Nami, Zoro, I know you're both good, but I want to know anyway!"

"Easy Chopper. Luffy had grain alcohol for the first and last time," Nami soothes. She turns to Sanji then. "This umbrella was so helpful! It kept my hair looking great. Thanks so much Sanji!"

"But of course, my dearest Nami-swan! Only the best for you and your beautiful hair!"

"Well, now that I'm back, I'm feeling a little peckish. Would you make us a snack? I'd hate to be hungover tomorrow."

Predictably, Sanji whips up a small feast of snacks at Nami's request. While they munch on rice balls and pickled veggies, and Nami enjoys a tropical fruit parfait, Chopper is poking at a still-drunk, but still-eating, Luffy.

"Luffy's had alcohol before but I've never seen Luffy like this? Maybe his devil fruit is stopping him from properly metabolizing what he drank?"

Brook informs him from under a sloppy mountain of table scraps, "What he drank was a quartet of bottles most inebriating! Grain alcohol, as Miss Nami said. A pair of gentlemen gifted us four bottles of local grain alcohol. I believe they were meant to be shared, but Luffy was quick to drink them all!"

"We didn't let him drink anything else," Nami adds in. "But he also didn't eat anything while we were there, so that's definitely not helping. Once he gets some food and some sleep I'm sure he'll be fine. He's come out of worse faster than this."

Chopper looks thoughtful but unconvinced. "I guess so. But I wanna take a blood sample to be sure!"

Next to Usopp, Luffy has already fallen asleep. But being Luffy, he's still eating. Even though he's not stretching much and his movements are slower than normal, he's still managing to steal food off Usopp's plate. Usopp's not sure how Chopper will manage to get a needle in their captain for a blood sample, but he's sure Chopper will manage.

By the next morning though, Luffy is only fractionally better, if at all. Still acting drunk as a monk-fish in Neptune's palace during a party, and tired enough to be dragging his limbs across the deck. Worse still, he's started singing again and his lyrics are only getting more explicit. Usopp and the rest of the crew now know more about Trafalgar Law's body and what precisely Luffy wants to do to it than anyone with a shred of dignity or sanity should know.

The locals in the port have taken to watching the Sunny and the musical stylings wailing from its captain. People are climbing trees and buildings for a look, buzzing in curiosity. Meanwhile Jinbei and Brook help Usopp turn away several braver locals all coming to express their concern, including the two from last night who gave Luffy the grain alcohol in the first place.

"We're happy to give you all more of our local brew in apology. The rest of you didn't have a chance to enjoy it last night! But we didn't know Straw Hat Luffy was such a lightweight!" The shorter of the two men declares, his jaunty fishing tackle-hat from last night still in place over his bald head. Usopp thinks he looks like a worm playing dress up, but he appreciates the readiness of the man's outfit for any fishing scenario, even on dry land.

His partner's too. His partner isn't tall enough to be called 'the tall one' but is still taller and equally worm-shaped compared to his buddy. He sports a matching hat with tackle and small tools sewn into it, and an equally amused, almost slimy grin on his face. As if the idea that a pirate as infamous as Straw Hat Luffy should fall short in their eyes in any way is worth laughing at.

"That's true! So true! Are you sure there's nothing we can do to help? I'm sure one of the local doctors has a remedy that would work. I might have something in my hat that should help…"

"No thank you, good sirs!" Brook interrupts with an increasingly threatening flourish of his cane, stopping the duo from doing so much as walk up the gangplank. "Our esteemed ship's doctor is tending to him as we speak. But thank you so much for your concern. Goodbye now."

Nami keeps trying to distract Luffy with new words and prompts for his songs. Things like lasers and meat and cyborg pirates. But songs about robot lasers are apparently not as exciting as songs about licking Law's asshole with an extendable rubber tongue, or how Law could use his devil fruit to fuck Luffy stupid if he'd only give it a try, or about sexy-ninning ("Sixty-nining Luffy- Dammit! Why am I helping?").

Law can never know that the Straw Hats know these things. It was funny last night, but there was alcohol involved then. Now, in the light of sobriety and daytime, Usopp and the crew would very much like to continue living.

It's just their luck then, that after breakfast they get an unfortunately timed call from Law. He and Luffy make a point of calling each other when they have a moment, even if half the time it's the crew passing messages between them. In the normal course of things, Usopp thinks it's sweet. But today, Luffy is still drunk for reasons unknown and talking to Law is just going to reveal all the explicit lyrics Luffy has been serenading them and the town with all night.

Has Usopp mentioned he wants to keep living? Because he very much does. He wants to be a brave living warrior of the sea who gets to see Kaya again as not-a-ghost.

He's too slow and not made of rubber though, so Luffy reaches the snail first. Even still-drunk and slouching to the floor in front of the snail, Luffy is faster. "S'that Torao? Torao! Your butt's not fishy and I miss your pretty butt! And your pretty face! Where are you? Where's the bear? I'm tired."

"Luffy-ya, did you even know it was me when you answered? What, are you drunk or something?"

Luffy hiccups, "Yep? Yup, yup, yuppity yup. Real tired too. Like water-tired but it's in my stomach and arms and head. Been water-tired all night."

"Water-tired, and you didn't fall overboard?" Law's voice through the snail takes on a sudden knowing edge that cuts the air in the room. The other captain's anger is sharp and plain as day on the snail's features. "That's not drunk. Are you-?"

Chopper chooses that moment to come running back in, panic on his face and a wail in his throat. He's waving a sheet of paper in his hoof like a red flag and screaming, "Drug dust! Tranquilizer grinded drug dust! It's in Luffy! Jinbei, I need your blood! We gotta get it out! We need a doctor to get it out and- Oh wait. I'm a doctor." A beat of silence, then, "Oh crap! I'm the doctor! Jinbei, I need your blood!"

Jinbei is already rolling up his sleeves as Usopp rushes to Chopper, trying to calm him down. "What are you talking about, Chopper? What's the deal with Luffy's blood? How much booze is in there and how long's it gonna take to go through his system?"

Chopper shakes his head in a fury. "It's not just alcohol! His blood alcohol level is through the roof, yes, but there's also tranquilizers in his bloodstream. Whatever he drank was full of tranquilizers strong enough to take down a sea-king!"

Nami gasps. "The grain alcohol! He drank all four bottles himself. That must be it!"

"Then those gentlemen in the dapper hats who gifted us those bottles were not gentlemen at all," Brook deduces, eye sockets scowling into a demonic gleam and hands clenching around his sword. "Excuse me while I go… Run an errand."

Zoro's eye is just as murderous. "I'll help you run your errand."

Robin sets down her coffee and stands. "I know you won't need help with your… errand… but many hands make light work. I'm happy to assist."

The three stalk out the door and down the gangplank to town before Sanji can do so much as offer Robin a travel thermos for her coffee.

Usopp and the remaining Straw Hats can hear Law shouting through the snail, both trying to get information and yelling obscenities and ever-more-gruesome threats against the idiots who dared to drug Luffy.

But Luffy isn't responding to any of it. He slouches on the floor in front of the snail, receiver in hand, swaying in continued inebriation, looking dumbly happy just listening to his boyfriend's voice. Every threat of bodily harm and sadistic vengeance out of the snail's mouth just moves the corners of Luffy's dopey grin higher on his face.

Finally, after an especially vivid description from Law of replacing internal organs with spikes and putting them on display, Luffy interrupts. He doesn't acknowledge the gory specifics of Law's rant, and is quieter and steadier than he has been for hours as he says, "Torao's good people. Thank you Torao."

From the desk, the den den mushi stops relaying Law's violent plans for revenge and goes silent. The only reason Usopp knows the call hasn't dropped is the distinct sound of echoing silence, instead of static, from the other end of the line.

A moment later, Law's voice is soft through the snail. So soft Usopp almost misses what he says entirely. "I miss you too, Luffy-ya." Law's features on the snail shift then, harder and sharper than before. "Now then. Whoever was with Luffy-ya last night, tell me everything."

Luffy holds the receiver outstretched, waving it to the general space in no one's direction. Nami steps up and takes it from him, answering Law. "It's Nami. Law, we appreciate whatever you're offering but Luffy's our captain. We'll handle this-"

"You're taking care of Luffy-ya and the local branch of whatever happened last night. Tell. Me. Everything."

She sighs and mutters something under her breath. To Usopp's ears it sounds like "acts of service."

"What was that Nami-ya?"

"Nothing! I'll tell you what we know so far."

They'll have to call Law again later when Zoro, Robin, and Brook come back. But that's a call for later.

In the meantime, Chopper sets up a blood transfusion for Luffy using blood bags from the infirmary and, when that isn't enough, an extra pint or two from Jinbei. Luffy is fast asleep, the same dopey smile on his face, but Chopper claims he'll be his old self again in a day or two. Just long enough to go through another round of rest and transfusions.

Almost a week later, they're far out at sea with Luffy finally recovered and blessedly not singing about Law's ass. Usopp isn't sure if he remembers the songs or not. But it's not like Luffy to be tactful, so odds are he's just forgotten.

They're supposed to meet up with the Hearts in a week or two. Law's last message said he'd be in touch 'soon' with more details, so Luffy is predictably anxious. But instead of bopping around the ship looking for distraction, he's taken to perching on the figurehead. He still vibrates with unspent energy, but to see him otherwise still for so long has Usopp worried. It's not like Luffy to stay in one place.

Everyone tries to distract Luffy in different ways. With games and music and training and food, but he always returns to the figurehead. So Usopp takes a page out of Nami's book and elects to give love languages a try. Nami said he shows love with quality time and words of affirmation. How hard can that be to figure out if he already does them?

"Permission to come aboard Sunny's magnificent head, Captain?"

Luffy barely turns, but Usopp sees him shrug and takes that as permission. He clambers up the lion's head to sit next to Luffy. They watch the waves pass together, both fidgeting in their own ways. Usopp decides he should say something. Use words and break the silence.

"I'm sure he's fine Luffy. We'll see him soon." There! Those are words and they are affirming! And he's already up here spending quality time with his captain. Usopp has this love language thing perfected. Suck it Nami!

"I know Torao's fine," Luffy insists. "Torao's strong and his crew is strong and they keep each other safe, I know that."

Luffy bites his mouth shut, a crease forming on his forehead in concentration. Usopp wants to say something else, use his affirming words to help his friend, but Luffy's clammed up tight. Luffy has never been good at putting his thoughts in order before speaking. Would more words from Usopp make it harder for him?

What did Nami say about Luffy's love language? Physical touch?

Usopp pokes Luffy with his foot and bumps Luffy's shoulder with his own. It pulls a smile from his friend. He's proud of himself when Luffy leans fully against him in return.

Luffy opens up with an uncharacteristic sigh, tired like he's back on the tranquilizers. "It's never been like this before. I don't have to chase Sabo down to see him every couple of weeks. We have our own adventures, and Torao does too, but with Torao I still… I want to keep seeing him."

"You will," Usopp reassures him. "You'll see him soon and you'll talk and figure out a way to keep seeing each other. Hey! Maybe we can steal a couple of those video transponder snails? Then you could have video chats with each other! What do you think?"

Luffy chuckles, the sound vibrates through Usopp where they're still pressed together side by side. "Bet we'd have to break into a Marine base to get those. A BIG one! Sounds like fun!"

There's his captain again. Smiling and already looking forward to a new, ever-dangerous, adventure.

The news coo announces its arrival with a squawk not long after. It lands on the figurehead near them, pecks Usopp for attention. Usopp fishes a few berris from his pocket. "Yeah, yeah, I'll pay you. Keep your feathers on."

Price paid, Usopp holds out a hand in expectation. The bird takes a long look at him, then Luffy, then Usopp again. It pulls the daily paper from its pouch with its beak, and flutters down to the deck, where it deliberately drops the paper in Robins lap instead. The squawk as it flies off is more mocking now.

"Thank you for paying Usopp," Robin tells him in consolation, flipping the newspaper over. Upon opening the front page, there's a quiet "Oh my, that's quite vivid," from her.

Usopp slides down from the figurehead to join her. The grass is soft underfoot and the smell of morning coffee thick as he looks over her shoulder at the front page and gawks. Filling the entire top of the fold is a story about Law, with the headline, "Surgeon of Death excises independent employment contractors from New World Island." Below the headline is Law's bounty poster and several photos of elaborately staged victims in various shades of dismemberment and disembowelment. All of them are wearing fishing tackle in their hats and clothes.

Ridiculously, Usopp's first thought upon seeing the photos is "Law needs to get laid. We should find a room with pillows for walls and lock him and Luffy inside for a week," followed by "Law needs a therapist," and then "I need a therapist."

Robin continues her train of thought. "Independent Employment Contractors is a novel phrase for slave traffickers. Although I appreciate The Fishermen's shared costume commitment to their group name. And the way their hearts and livers are dangling from these trees? I wonder if Law meant to arrange them so artfully as dangling bait or if he was simply hoping to attract carnivorous birds?"

"Dammit Robin! It's too early to be so creepy! And gross!" Usopp calls to Nami on the upper deck, "Hey, what were we saying about how Torao shows love? Sadism, right? Can we add horror-story violence to that?"

"Whatsit? Lemme see! I wanna see!" Luffy springs off the lion figurehead, purposefully bouncing over the deck and flinging himself around Robin and Usopp's shoulders to look at the paper too. There's a moment to take in the graphic nature of the front page, before his eyes well up.

"Uh, Luffy? You ok? Whatever Torao did, it looks like he and the Hearts are ok."

Luffy sniffs and squeezes Usopp and Robin in his rubbery arms. "Torao really loves me! He's the best! You're all the best!"

"Torao is very sweet, isn't he? Going to all this trouble." Robin smiles at Luffy, and pats his arm in her reciprocation of a hug.

Luffy pulls away, arms snapping back and his mood shooting up too. "I wanna go see Torao now. Hey Nami! When are we seeing Torao? Can we call him? I wanna sing him my song about his pretty butt and pretty face- Ooh! I should practice more! Hey Brook! Help me with something!"

Usopp isn't sure this qualifies as 'sweet' the same way chatting over the den den mushi is sweet. He tells Robin as much, but she only chuckles.

"We're pirates. We show love in our own ways."

"Can one of those ways be stopping our captain from serenading his boyfriend with songs about licking his asshole?"

Robin's face is all smiles and sincerity as she says, "No. I wouldn't want to deprive Torao's crew the chance to show their love for him with some light teasing."

"Well when you put it that way…" Sanji and Jinbei will totally protect Usopp from any harm caused by Law. They have to! Acts of service are one of their love languages, right? "Hey Luffy! Do you and Brook want some help with more background instruments?"

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

A/N:

Pirates don't say "I love you" with flowers. They say it with actions. Luffy is a goofy guy but his moral compass can be every bit as flexible as Law's when convenient for him (See Water 7, when Franky Family beat the snot out of Usopp, his reaction was to go beat the shit out of them and destroy their home in return).

Or if you're Law, you might use sadism and violent vengeance as an Act of Service. I know Law's running deal is "creepy with a heart of gold" but that creepiness is still very well-earned. The Rocky Port Incident, for example. I like the idea of Law using his particular brand of pirate violence as an outlet for acts of service, and Luffy being disturbingly on board with it.

There's multiple examples of the Straw Hats all showing different Love Languages. I've got Usopp pegged as wanting to be around others and acknowledged for what he does, so in here I'm using quality time and words of affirmation for him, but I'm not married to the idea.

Leave a comment if you have thoughts on which Straw Hat most closely goes with each of the love languages.