Harry felt a prickly sensation on his knees and could hear a clicking noise from his right elbow, the only signs that his body was still functioning outside the adrenaline rush of tonight.
Next to Harry's side, in a hospital bed at the infirmary, was his godfather, Sirius Black, who had received a hefty stunning curse and was concussed but would be fine, as Madam Pmfrey had told them. Harry glanced at Sirius, whose dark lashes covered his puffy eyes, mouth was slightly open and his thin chest was rising and falling at a steady rhythm. His wavy black hair was sprawled on the pillow like a fish net.
On his other side, was Hermione Granger, pale and speechless, her eyes bloodshot and tired, but her hand brushing over Ron's, without any of them realising.
Ron was expressionless; his limp body was crouched on a chair next to Hermione and his eyes were fixated on Bil who was laying on a bed at the other side of the room. His young face was savaged by Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf who had bitten Remus a very long time ago. Remus had not arrived yet. He had the onerous task to inform Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who were both on their way, as the large wolfish patronus had spoken, not a while ago, before floating out the windows of the infirmary.
At the very far end of the room, was the austere figure of Minerva McGonagall, whispering with Poppy Pomfrey while her one arm rested confidently on Hagrid, who was whimpering very loudly, occasionally blowing his nose on a large handkerchief that looked like a tartan tablecloth.
Suddenly, there was a noise near Harry's side. Sirius groaned and Harry turned to see him, moving to his side, without saying anything.
"Harry–Harry, what happened?" croaked Sirius, his breath asthmatic and his voice breaking. He was trying to stand on the bed now. His efforts were quickly met with the exasperated and quick approaching Pomfrey, who pushed him back down on the bed decisively but with smooth hands.
"Mr. Black!" she exclaimed haughtily. "You have a good number of broken ribs and you are concussed," she said in a voice that was more like a hiss. "You need to lie down or–"
But Sirius ignored her, groaning in pain as he sat on the bed, one bare foot hanging from the bed, not reaching the ground with his entire weight.
"What–what happened?" he croaked again, now wincing more. "Harry–"
"Dumbledore's dead" said Harry definitely. "Snape. Snape killed him at the Astronomy tower. I saw it" he said quickly, not wanting to wait for the question.
Sirius was now paler than ever, anxiously looking at McGonagall for confirmation, his mouth opening and closing. She only nodded and turned around, to hide her face of tears.
"Snape .." whispered Sirius in an unpleasant voice that elicited emotion, looking at Harry directly in the eye as if to look for the boy's reaction, and ignoring everyone else in the room. "Harry, are you–" he started saying, but then Pomfrey yelped again, her voice shrill.
"Mr. Black, I have told you and will say it again, you need to–" she tried to reason with him, but Sirius erupted, now both his unsteady feet were on the ground. He was trying to get closer to Harry. "And, I told you to SHUT IT" he yelled at her, not making eye contact but still wincing in pain.
"Sirius, please get back to your bed," said Harry urgently, touched by his godfather's concern, but finding him to be a bit too hot headed at the worst moment possible.
Sirius obeyed begrudgingly and rested back on the bed, his gaze shifting up the ceiling, looking thoughtfully enraged. "That bloody coward! He killed the man who trusted him, who saved his sorry arse despite knowing what scum–"
"Sirius, please" hissed McGonagall, now close to him, towering him with her slender frame and looking both heartbroken and austere. "This is not the time" she glared at him, emphasising every word.
Sirius made an unnerving, anxious grimace and shook his head, which earned him another glare from Poppy Pomfrey, but before his mutinous attitude could continue, Hermione jerked her head and spoke urgently.
"Footsteps! I hear footsteps. It must be the Order–and your parents, Ron– Ron?" she stuttered, Ron's face unflinching, focused on Bill.
"Aw" said the boy, softly. He looked like he was going to be sick.
The door blasted open suddenly and Mrs. Weasley ran toward Bill, her face pale as a sheet. Behind her was Fleur, Bill's intended wife, who also looked deadly anxious and yelped when she saw Bill, tears running through her pale beautiful cheeks.
Mrs. Weasley gave her a look of mild annoyance, but focused her attention on Bill, frantically assessing his torn face. Mr. Weasley, now entering the infirmary, was followed by the twins Fred and George. Behind them were Remus Lupin, Harry's former professor, and Tonks, who was holding clammy Ginny's hand. Ginny's eyes were worried and intense. She was in her nightgown, robe, and slippers.
"Minerva–" said Mr. Weasley, his kind face contorting into a grimace. "Is it...is it true?" he said with difficulty, eyeing his wife and Fleur who were bent over Bill's side, not knowing who to attend to first.
The twins and Ginny were also gathered around Bill's bed and watched their mother applying an ointment at Bill's wounds, which were severe. Poppy's soft instructions were guiding Molly, showing her with her wand where to put the ointment. Fleur was silently standing above Bill's head, caressing his hair. Ron had joined his family as well now. He still looked nauseated and ill, as he approached. His mother had not seen him.
Sirius tried to escape his bed again, and answered Arthur solemnly and slightly angry at the deep groan the movement caused him. "It was Snape."
Remus and Tonks were now focused on Sirius and something odd was in Lupin's expression, as if he was seeing something in Sirius that no one else could see. Sirius seems to have picked up on that and quickly looked at Bill and Fleur sadly, then averted his gaze, angrily. It was strange.
"Snape" mouthed Tonks, looking red. "We always wondered–I mean" she started, but Lupin erupted, his gaze still fixed at Sirius. "Dumbledore TRUSTED HIM–I cannot believe it–it seems like a cruel joke1" he said breathlessly, collapsing at a chair across from Harry. Sirius was now looking at Lupin as if to communicate something wordlessly and flailed his hands, speaking through glances and not language. It was not often that Lupin lost control, especially in public. He was always collected. An open book. Although interpretations varied.
"Are you alright, Ron, Harry–Hermione?" interrupted Mrs. Weasley, wishing to change the subject about Dumbledore's death. Her eyes briefly moved away from Bill.
"Y-yes" said Hermione in an unsure voice, as if she did not want to intrude on the family's anguish over Bill, or was not sure they were well, either. Molly smiled sadly at Harry who did not speak and she scowled at Sirius, and then turned to Pomfrey, while holding Ron's arm for support.
"Poppy–Poppy, tell us," Mrs. Weasley started, voice trembling. "Is it true that he was bitten by…by Greyback?" he breathed his name solemnly.
"Yes , tell us! What does this mean?" demanded George, pulling a chair for his mother now.
"Will he–will he transform?" Ginny asked hesitantly, inadvertently looking at Lupin, who sat next to Tonks, across Harry, Hermione and Sirius.
Remus was looking at the floor now and Tonks squeezed his hand. Harry noticed Sirius next to him recoiling slightly at something and scoffing. Lupin's gaze was now unreadable.
"It's–it is too soon to know, my dear," said Pomfrey. Minerva McGonagall was now placing a hand on Molly's shoulder. Mr. Weasley was next to his wife, his eyes fixed at the medi witch, hanging from her words. Or lack thereof.
"He was not bitten, that we know, and he might have some side effects, but I do not believe he would turn into a full werewolf" said the experienced medi witch soothingly. "It is important to monitor the situation and wait, only time will tell for sure" she continued steadily, eyes full of empathy.
Mr. Weasley was now nodding slowly and looking grateful and holding Ginny's two shoulders to appease his youngest child. But Molly was still inconsolable, covering Bill's bandaged face with the ointment. Fleur was looking at Poppy and then Mr. Weasley hopefully, perhaps craving a fatherly embrace but she would never ask for one.
"What happened to you, Sirius?" said Tonks suddenly, in a dreamy tone. It was as if she had just noticed Harry's godfather.
"Concussion," Sirius replied brusquely, barely looking at her. Tonks looked irritated at his rudeness and cleared her throat, subtly changing her hair into a reddish bob.
"Fine," she replied, rolling her eyes back into green.
Remus was now fixated on Sirius again, looking at something beyond his friend and fellow Marauder, something invisible to the naked eye of others.
"Oh come on, mum, cheer up!" said Fred, breaking the wordless exchange between Sirius and Remus. "He was not bitten after all and if–well–if he ends up with some side effects, it shan't be that bad, eh George?" He now turned to his twin brother for solidarity.
"Yeah , yeah" said George unsure, running a hand through his hair. "Billy boy might just like his steaks rare now, that's all" he added, amusing Ginny a little. Ron still looked confused and muttered the word 'rare' wordlessly.
But the blokey jokes of the twins did not appease Mrs. Weasley. She had started crying again, next to Bill and across from Fleur, who was saying nothing at the display. Her eyes were piecing Bill but she was listening to everything that was happening in her surroundings.
"Oh, Bill" moaned Mrs. Weasley. "He will be well, I know it, it's just–" she was interrupted by another sob and Hagrid kindly gave her the big used handkerchief, full of snot. She took it kindly regardless.
"Here ya go, Molly dear" said the giant man obliviously. "Bill's a strong lad, don't you worry" he sniffled.
"It's just he was such a handsome young man! And he was about to get married" she said, in despair, as if she wanted Hagrid to understand her words, the message of her frantic sentences.
That comment had apparently shook Fleur, however, who was now on her feet looking at Molly menacingly, her nostrils fluttering and a flash of anger on her pretty features. She was still extremely beautiful even when she was furious, Harry thought.
"And what exactly do you mean?" demanded Fleur.
Everyone was now looking at the two women, bracing themselves for the long-awaited confrontation. Hermione looked at Ginny, clutching and unclutching her hands. Sirius looked a bit haughty, like he refused to engage with the problems of bickering women, small problems of people who had not wasted away their youth in Azkaban. Harry was looking at Ron, Fred, George and Mr. Weasley who were all wincing and looking at different corners of the room.
Lupin was calm and composed as always and only slightly turned his head at the erupting scene. Tonks seemed momentarily curious but then decided to start playing with a patch on Lupin's cloak, which earned her another scornful look from Sirius, who pinched Harry for no reason. "Ouch!" said Harry, rubbing his arm.
Fleur rounded Mrs. Weasley and abruptly snatched the ointment from her with such force that the older woman fell back on the chair.
"You offend me, Madame Weasley!" Fleur said in her French accent. "You think–think that now that Bill has these scars he won't want to marry me?" demanded Fleur. "Or, perhaps, you were hoping?" she said in a defiant voice, her lip trembling. Fleur looked more like a harpy than a Veela, Harry noticed.
"I–I was just saying–" stammered Molly, shocked, looking around the room for support but none came her way.
"Because this will never happen! Bill will not stop loving me and I definitely will not stop loving him for just—SCARS" intonated Fleur, fury in her eyes. Harry looked at Sirius awkwardly who was now frowning as if he did not quite grasp what was happening. Sirius was not the most clever in matters of the heart, it seemed. He was like Harry in that regard.
And right there and then, when all the attendees were expecting a full-blown argument to rupture the ambience of the infirmary, the two women suddenly embraced, crying in each other's arms.
But before Harry and the others could register the shock and surprise of the sudden embrace and reconciliation between the two women, there was indeed an eruption in the room from the side of Remus Lupin, who was sitting inconspicuously at a distance.
A loud sneer came from Tonks and she was suddenly on her feet directly facing Remus.
"See!" she yelled at him. "She still wants to be with Bill–even if he was bitten! She doesn't care!"
Remus tensed and looked very uncomfortable. He was shaking his head negatively, as if this conversation had happened multiple times before and had fatigued him.
"Look at me!" she said desperately. "I have told you many times, that I don't care that you were bitten and you won't listen to me–".
Harry was very confused, but it seemed from their mutual expressions of anger and awkwardness that it was Remus that Tonks had fallen in love.
Sirius was now looking at the floor, his facial features unflinching. But then he slowly looked up at Lupin curiously, in a look of defiance, and something else that was waiting to reveal itself.
To Harry's amplified state of confusion, it was Mrs. Weasley who spoke after Tonks' confession.
"I agree, Remus, we all say it. You would be a lovely couple. You just don't want to see what is in front of you" she said with an air of wisdom. Tonks beamed at Molly, her ally in this conquest of Lupin.
But Lupin remained silent. He was also looking at the floor now, seemingly distracted, but in a way that still conveyed deep thought. Everyone was waiting for his response, including Tonks who was visibly anxious.
But it was Sirius who spoke. In fact, it was more of a long guttural sneer than his normal nice-sounding deep voice.
"You have something to say, Sirius?" said Molly, annoyed.
"Well, Molly, it seems that you are now the unofficial matchmaker of the Order. Molly Weasley, always meddling in other people's love lives" he said gruffly looking at Remus and not Molly. It seemed that Sirius still wanted to witness a fight, since Fleur and Molly decided not to have one. His canine demeanour prepared himself for one when he knew it was coming his way.
Molly was now looking directly at Sirius, her arms crossed on her chest.
"And I suppose you wouldn't understand the importance of finding someone compatible for Remus, or someone at all, since you are not interested in a serious relationship yourself" she threw back pettily.
Sirius, his face still showing signs of recent injury, smirked sarcastically.
"Compatibility? Is that what this is about? Well let me tell you something," he continued angrily, raising his voice a little. "Your tedious misguided matchmaking attempts will only push Remus into–into some kind of sham!" he spat the last word triumphantly, now looking angrily at Remus who was staring back at Sirius.
"You think you know what's best for Remus? You don't have a clue" Tonks yelled in a strained voice suddenly.
Molly was flustered and raised an eyebrow in defiance, "A sham? Why would you–even" she started saying something, but Sirius was faster.
"Well, I think that it is up to Remus to tell us if he approves of this little marriage plot of yours," Sirius fired back, leaving Molly speechless and embarrassed.
Remus now was shaking his head sideways in a nervous manner, looking at Sirius with tired eyes, "Sirius, please–" but Sirius snapped at him too, now getting up, not wanting to let the flash of pain show in his already flustered face.
"I had enough" he announced, landing on the marble floor with unsteady feet. His long hair was moving frantically. "And I am leaving" he said the last word poignantly.
"What on earth is your problem, mate?" said Tonks angrily, approaching Molly, looking for solidarity. Harry was mesmerised and confused, not knowing if he should go to Sirius and try to contain him once more. Hermione motioned him to stop and held his arm, probing him to sit down. "Harry, no, let them–"she whispered in his ear.
"Mr. Black" huffed Poppy, "how many times—"
"SHUT IT!" roared Sirius, but he was looking at Lupin furiously as if he was telling his friend to shut it.
"Sirius!"
"I am leaving, Harry! Let. go. Of. me. now." hissed his godfather in a threatening voice. Harry had seen Sirius angry before, he had seen him upset, but never in such an agitated state.
"No"
It was the voice of Remus. He was now approaching Sirius with determined steps and a quizzical look that was illegible.
Hermione squeezed Harry tighter again and told him to sit down in a hushed urgent voice. "Sshh" she admonished softly. "Let them sort it out, Harry."
"Remus, this is unacceptable–" started Molly. Tonks was rolling her eyes now at the situation and let out a sound ungraceful huff.
"I have told you many times that you need to prioritise your—your own life, despite how much you care about your friends" admonished Molly giving Sirius a foul look.
But Remus ignored them and was in fact walking towards Sirius and urging him back to his bed. Sirius slapped Remus' hand away in disdain. "And what's that supposed to mean, then?" provoked Sirius, pushing Remus' hand away once more, at the second attempt.
"Simply that I think you would prefer it if Remus remained alone, so–so that he can keep you company, in your bitterness" fired Mrs. Weasley in a rigid voice. It seemed she wanted to say that to Sirius for a long time now and it finally came out, bitter and unkind despite her best efforts to be maternal and inviting.
"Molly–" started Arthur.
"Yeah , mum, that was not okay, '' chimed Ginny, looking at Harry apologetically.
Sirius looked dead pale now. He was staring at the void with a frown. He looked gutted. It was not a typical expression for Sirius, none Harry had seen before at least. Harry felt a surge of empathy for his godfather as he allowed Remus to guide him back to the bed. He seemed defeated. Molly looked tense but not happy at her triumph.
It was Harry's turn to be furious.
Sirius did not deserve these belittling nudges, the unsolicited comments that questioned his intentions, always. Sirius was a brave, courageous, and loyal man and if he got a bit hot headed sometimes it did not mean that Mrs. Weasley had the right to berate him. After all, she had not spent twelve years in Azkaban for a crime she had not committed, she had not seen her friends dead, or was betrayed and framed by one, and she had not been denied her godson and then driven into a full-blown mental breakdown that caused Sirius to laugh hysterically at a crime scene. That cost Sirius his youth. Harry would not stand it. He had to defend his godfather.
But as Harry was leaving his chair, pushing it somewhat more aggressively than what he intended, Remus Lupin spoke again, still near Sirius.
"No" he gestured to Harry, motioning him to sit back down. "Enough of this" he said with finality, but he was not done speaking.
"Molly, Tonks, you have to listen to me" said Remus calmly, his expression now more soothing, as if he had just made a discovery of something important. Sirius was quiet now, but still looked irate, like a sleeping volcano waiting for a wrong stroke to erupt again.
"Sirius' reaction is explainable–justified really" said the sandy man with a soft smile. Sirius was now listening attentively, like a dog.
"Remus, this is ridiculous" insisted Molly.
"Yes, it actually has been rather ridiculous" added Tonks, her big blue eyes now saucers. "Sirius, you have been hostile to me, for literally no reason. And if you think that me and Remus–" she stammered at the thought, "if me and Remus ever got together–that is if you wanted" she awkwardly glanced at Remus, "it would not mean you would be alone" she finished a bit embarrassed to talk to Sirius this way.
Sirius looked speechless for a minute, but he immediately got over it and addressed her, eyes still but with a tinge of disbelief. "To be alone?" he asked softly. " Is that what you think?" She looked clueless, looking at Remus for support. But none came.
"I am the only one at fault here, really," Remus said calmly. "No–let me finish, Tonks. Please."
He was now standing next to Siruus and had his long hand on the other man's shoulder, making sure Sirius was kept in place. Sirius accepted the touch oddly. Remus' hands were large and seemed to have left an indentation on Sirius' skin, but Sirius was not flinching. It was a curious sight, especially as Remus' hand then travelled at the back of Sirius' neck and rested there for a minute, grounding him, trying to contain him–not with insults and threats–but with something else, something almost tender. His palm eventually softly rested on Sirius' upper back and he fixed his pillow, urging him to lie down. Sirius complied.
It was such a curious sight that it made Harry uncomfortable. Lupin's touch carried a wave of affection he did not seem to have for anyone else, at least from what Harry had seen. Harry could not stop staring at the two men, Lupin's hand comfortably resting on Sirius' back and Sirius allowing it, almost in a sense of relief and anticipation and something more–Harry had to try hard not to stare at what was in front of him.
The others in the room had evidently picked up on the same feeling because Ron was now crimson, Fred was coughing, and Molly was now looking with her mouth slightly open. Tonks was frowning deeply looking between Remus and Sirius.
Sirius' brows furrowed but he was silent and looked at Remus with a sigh.
"What–" someone said.
"I will explain everything, please. If you allow" Remus said, now half-seated on Sirius' bed, one long leg on the marble floor casually. Remus took a deep breath, adjusted his grip on Sirius comfortably, and his eyes shifted nervously between the expectant faces in the room. His voice was laced with regret, but his hand was not leaving Sirius' side.
"I... I owe all of you an apology. Especially you, Tonks. I've been dishonest with you, and it's not fair anymore" he said softly, his body was inches away from Sirius now.
Tonks looked at Remus with a mixture of confusion and hurt. "What are you talking about, Remus?" Molly and Fleur exchanged concerned glances, their attention fully focused on Remus. Ginny avoided making eye contact, her discomfort evident, and was instead observing Harry, Hermione was still, looking at Ron softly.
"I've been pushing you away, Tonks, even though you've shown me nothing but kindness, friendship, and affection" he began, choosing his words clearly.
"I have conveniently left you to believe that it is my condition that prevented me from returning your feelings, and for that I am very sorry and a little ashamed" he said. "Because although I never explicitly said it, it made my life easier, in avoiding to face you, to tell you the truth" he said, his eyes now closed. Sirius looked tense.
It was Tonks' turn to become pale now.
"The real reason, however," he said in an unusually upbeat tone for the situation, and then took a small pause to shift to sit more comfortably on the smell bed. Sirius' bed.
"The real reason is that I'm already involved with someone," he said softly. " For a really long time, in fact" he tried to sound sincere, but could not help biting his lip slightly.
Molly gasped, her hand instinctively covering her mouth. Fleur's eyes widened, and she looked at Remus intently. Harry and Ron exchanged surprised looks, their gazes shifting towards Remus and Sirius, who cleared his throat awkwardly. The twins looked scandalised.
Remus continued, his voice quivering slightly as he glanced over at Sirius, who remained frozen beside him.
Tonks' eyes widened in disbelief, a wave of hurt washed over her."Involved? You mean... you're seeing someone?" she Tonks and was now flustered, feeling clearly embarrassed and exposed. Fleur had a sorry look on her face, clearly not wanting to be in Tonks' shoes. Molly was the same.
Remus nodded, his voice filled with regret as he glanced over at Sirius again.
"Yes, someone I care deeply about. We've been together for a long time, but we've kept it hidden" said Remus.
"But–but, Remus!" trembled Molly, now looking at Tonks, who seemed like she was just hit with something. Fleur looked sympathetically at her mother-in-law.
Mr. Weasley approached his wife and took her hand, nudging her to sit. "Molly…"
Remus continued his speech, however. "I am afraid that you gave me more credit than what I deserved, Tonks. You see, I should have known better, I should have told you way earlier, before–before all this. This is my fault and my own fault only" he said softly. "And for that I am deeply–"
"Yes, you should have," said Tonks briskly, now crossing her arms, mirroring Mrs. Weasley. She would not accept pity or excuses.
Molly's mouth opened and closed as she tried to find the right words, her eyes flickering between Remus and Tonks. Sirius was dangerously quiet.
"Remus, I didn't expect this from you. Why–why would you keep something like this a secret?" said Molly. "And I would never–had I known, I would have never encouraged–" she flustered again, looking guiltily at Tonks. Mrs. Weasley felt embarrassed and responsible.
"Hmmm" sneered Sirius, suddenly but Remus softly said, "it's alright, please" in an affectionate voice. Harry was really uncomfortable and looked at Hermione for support, but she held his hand slightly, for a minute.
It seemed that Remus had appeased Sirius, however, who was now looking away, scratching his growing beard and giving Harry a side glance momentarily.
"I know, Molly. And I'm sorry. It's just...it would have been too complicated, too dangerous, in fact to reveal my relationship. I have faced so much prejudice and I was afraid of what it could mean for both of us if our relationship was exposed" said Lupin truly.
Molly looked confused now. "Prejudice?" she asked tentatively.
"I mean, why?" It was Ron who spoke. Fred pinched him to shut up, but Ron continued with the question, "is your girlfriend–erm–are you seeing another werewolf?" asked Ron, now looking more crimson because he was discussing his former professor's love life. With his former professor.
"Ron!" said Hermione, eyeing him menacingly.
"Ron's right though" said Harry, who could not contain himself anymore. "Why keep it a secret?" he asked Lupin. Sirius was suddenly downcast, but Remus laughed bitterly.
"No, no, not a werewolf. They are full human," he said softly, and then added candidly, "well–most times, at least."
For some reason this had made Sirius smile and he tried to hide it with a cough, but was unsuccessful. Why was Harry's godfather acting this way? Harry could not wait anymore, this was becoming unbearable.
"But–who, then?" said Fred, anxiously looking at his mother who was now holding Tonks' arm. Tonks was not meeting Remus' gaze.
"Remus, if you've been hiding this relationship for so long–" Mrs. Weasley started saying, but then changed her mind, it seemed. " I think–I think you owe an explanation to Tonks" Molly finally said.
Sirius rolled his eyes, but Molly ignored him this time.
Remus cleared his throat, "I do, indeed, Molly" he said, ever calm. "Although I don't think I ever led you on–making you believe we could be–" he was looking at Tonks now apologetically.
"No, you did not" snapped Tonks. "You did not lead me on. That was clear. But you failed to mention you had a relationship and I believe that this is deceiving" she said angrily.
"Oh shut up, won't you" said Sirius, not able to contain himself anymore. "Don't you see?" he was gesturing at something as if it was in front of their eyes, but no one was looking well enough.
Harry did though. Oh did he ever.
It made perfect sense now. Hermione was smiling at the moment where Harry was expecting her to reproach Sirius for his gruffness and his rudeness to Tonks and Mrs. Weasley. But she was smiling. It was in front of their eyes all along and Harry–Harry was so oblivious.
The room was waiting for Remus' answer, but it was already there all along.
Harry's heart raced as he watched the scene unfold before him. Remus took a deep breath, and reached out, his hand moving Sirius' back and intertwining gently with Sirius's, their fingers interlocking. So there it was, the answer.
The room fell silent, all eyes fixed on the intimate gesture. But it was Sirius's face that captured Harry's attention. A mixture of emotions played across Sirius's features, his eyes widening in surprise and anticipation, as if a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders. As Remus's hand found his, a wave of relief washed over him, evident in the way his tense shoulders relaxed.
It was a silent declaration, a wordless proclamation of commitment. What else did the others want? For them to start snogging there and now?
Harry couldn't help but be captivated by the scene unfolding before him. It was a glimpse into a side of Sirius he had never seen, a vulnerability that only Remus seemed to bring out in him. And yet, amidst the intrigue and curiosity, a pang of hurt surfaced within Harry. Why had Sirius kept this hidden from him? Why hadn't he trusted Harry enough to share such an important part of his life? Had his parents known? The questions lingered, causing a mix of discomfort and shyness to Harry.
"No... it can't be…Remus–" said Molly, in a tone that conveyed more of a question than a statement. "Remus, if this is some kind of mad joke–" she started saying but then deeply regretted it, as if her own words had hit her.
"Mum!" hissed Fred.
"I am sorry" she muttered. "It's just–can this be?"
"Why not?" asked Sirius brusquely, looking at her provocatively. Remus shot him a look to stop. It was gentle though.
"You–you–oh" gave up Molly, retreating to her chair. Tonks was even paler now and was crouched at a corner, averting her gaze.
They all knew now, but no one would say it.
Harry did, however. He turned to Sirius as he was embarrassed to look at Remus and in a voice barely above a whisper he asked, "are you two…are you together?" it came out more shy than he expected.
It was odd to think of Sirius being in an intimate relationship with Professor Lupin. On the other hand, it wasn't really. Sirius shifted uncomfortably, his eyes fixed on Harry, his anxiety palpable. He mustered a small nod of agreement, acknowledging Harry's realisation and wincing slightly. Harry was not sure if it was the broken ribs or the truth that had made Sirius wince. Remus also nodded, giving Sirius' hand a firm squeeze.
"I–I am going to go see Moody" said Tonks, breaking the silence and not making any eye contact with Remus or Sirius. Remus was looking away. Sirius was not looking at her either, but Harry could see he could feel bad.
Harry could see her hair changing colours as she was leaving with heavy frantic footsteps.
The room was governed by a hushed uncomfortable silence and Harry had many questions but did not want to make Sirius and Remus more uncomfortable. He scanned the room for the reactions of the others instead.
Molly looked astonished, her gaze shifting between Remus and Sirius. Fleur and Ginny exchanged intrigued glances, their curiosity piqued by this unexpected revelation. Harry's gaze then travelled to his friend, Ron. His discomfort was evident, his face turning crimson once more as he shifted awkwardly, unsure of how to react. Hagrid remained seated in his chair, paying little attention to the revelation, as if it held no significance to him. He was almost falling asleep after all.
Meanwhile, Fred and George exchanged mischievous grins, their eyes sparkling against the bright hospital lighting. They nudged each other knowingly, but said nothing. Arthur's eyebrows shot up in surprise, his expression shifting to a momentary "huh" moment and he went near his wife, to pat her on the shoulder.
McGonagall wore a wry smile, her eyes twinkling with a sense of knowing. She had suspected the truth for some time maybe. This made Harry question if his parents had known. If the other Marauders knew. Well–his father. Harry did not like to think of Peter Pettigrew.
The most curious face was Hermione's, though, Harry observed. Her face lit up with a wide grin, there was no surprise there. Of course this girl knew, she always had.
For a moment that seemed like an eternity, no one was speaking. Then Sirius broke the silence.
"Well, now that our little secret is out in the open, we have two options, I suppose. We can either never talk to any of you again and live as hermits, or we could try making normal human conversation and get over the awkwardness" he said in an attempt at humour.
A chuckle escaped from Fred and George, their mischievous grins widening. Ron was still crimson and was not making eye contact. Ginny was amused and Fleur was smiling.
Then Hermione cleared her throat. "Erm–we can leave you to it, if you'd rather–" she gestured at Harry and Sirius was suddenly uncomfortable. Remus looked stoic.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry cut in, asking Sirius directly now.
"I think Hermione is right, and we should let you all to it" said Mr. Weasley politely, ushering his family out with a hand gesture.
But now Remus spoke, raising his hand now. "No, Arthur, there is no need. You are here to see Bill, not to get entangled into this. Sit down" he commanded in a lighthearted way.
Sirius turned to Harry abruptly. Harry had wished that the others had left actually, even Lupin, who was still on Sirius' bed but not holding hands anymore.
"Harry–this—this has nothing to do with you," said Sirius briskly. When he gazed at his godson though he realises he was misunderstood and continued quickly, clarifying.
"We did not tell you because we thought it would be an additional burden, something that would have created more problems–and, well, I also agreed with Remus that it was not the most appropriate conversation to have with you when you were thirteen or fourteen or fifteen, and–" Sirius was rambling now.
"I am not a child, Sirius" Harry cut him off, pissed. "I understand–erm–things," he said flustered.
Sirius paused, gathering his thoughts. But then Remus opened his mouth to speak.
"Harry, I actually owe you an apology as well. Because -well–it was me that did not want to reveal this to you" said his former professor in a cool voice. Sirius looked alarmed, ready to argue, but Remus stopped him. It seemed that Sirius would only stop rebelling for Remus and this made Harry slightly jealous of their connection. He craved that camaraderie from his godfather, who now looked fragile, small.
Harry was utterly confused. If Sirius wanted to tell him that he was in love with Remus and Remus did not want them to tell Harry, then did that mean that Professor Lupin did not approve of Harry being part of their lives? Did Remus see Harry as an obstacle to his happiness with Sirius, as Remus had no dependents, no children, and Sirius now had a teenager to look after?
This made Harry deeply disturbed. Remus must have seen that because he quickly continued, a warm smile on his face now.
"The truth is that when we all got reunited, meaning , me, Sirius, and well–you, Harry, I did not want to interfere in your relationship. Sirius was made your godfather and I wanted to let him get to know you first, to establish a relationship with you as he promised your parents. He –Sirius–that's what he always wanted, in fact" said Remus.
"Wait–wait–" Harry interrupted his former teacher. "How long has this been going on–erm, how long have you been together?" he asked shyly.
Sirius exhaled loudly but Remus' tone was firm. "Well, if you exclude a long pause of twelve years, I dare say, since school" replied Remus kindly.
There were gasps in the room. No one had expected that.
Harry was awestruck as was everyone. Sirius was not speaking, he was waiting for Harry to process all this. Remus continued. "When Sirius escaped, I still thought-well that he was a murderer, unfortunately" he said wincing. "It was a shock to find out that all these years I was wrong," he said, looking at Sirius apologetically. Sirius was unreadable now.
"It was not easy to pick up where we left at" Remus continued and now everyone was looking at him. Sirius, obviously uncomfortable, cleared his throat. "Is that alright with you–if I continue telling them the whole story?" Remus turned to Sirius now, concerned, as a partner would. "Harry deserves to know, from both of us, I think," he added encouragingly.
Sirius nodded almost imperceptibly and looked very uncomfortable but accepted what Remus was saying. Gryffindors.
"Well, then, where was I?" pondered Remus thoughtfully.
"Erm–you were talking about when Sirius escaped," Hermione said helpfully.
"Ah, yes. Sirius was a fugitive and he needed to travel away from here, we corresponded, as friends of course–we are still friends, in a way" he added. That comment made Ron very uncomfortable and Hermione shot him a look. Friends were not holding hands like that, or kissed or did things—
"Until the Triwizard Tournament was over and he was back in the country and was told to lie low at my place until the Order was getting reformulated" added Lupin. Some awkward coughs and loud breathing sounds were audible now. Harry was listening attentively despite everyone's reactions.
"I think the rest you can figure out–" said Lupin motioning at Sirius now, who was focused on Harry and Harry only, anxiously.
"I hope you can understand this" his godfather said, his voice a whisper, raspy and vulnerable. "I don't know if this changes things, but I am deeply sorry, if—" he started and then trailed off.
"No!-I mean no" Harry said a little louder than what he meant to say. "Of course, not–this doesn't change–this doesn't change a thing!" he said vehemently and that had earned him a worried smile from Mr. Weasley.
Sirius exhaled heavily, "well then" he said, not looking at Harry anymore, but was waiting for more perhaps.
Perhaps Harry did not sound as accepting or supportive as he needed to be in this situation. Merlin–was he ruining everything. Did Sirius now think that Harry would have a problem with something like that. Of course it made sense. Harry remembered the name-calling and the demeaning comments his aunt and uncle would use for someone who was–well–gay. He did not want Sirius or Remus to think he was like that.
Lupin was smiling in an empathetic way.
"Thank you, Harry. We do appreciate that, really. But I still feel the need to explain myself. Because this all comes back to me" he continued.
"Last year, as you know, I stayed at Grimmauld Place with your godfather, with Sirius. I was there between assignments, it was easier and Sirius needed the company" he said tentatively, eyeing Sirius who had a dark expression now, not wanting to be that vulnerable. "Your godfather wanted us to tell you when you came to stay. He was hoping that when the war is over, you could come live with him"
"With us" corrected Sirius gruffly. Remus acknowledged that with a nod and continued.
"But I thought that it was too soon, too dangerous, too complicated for you–" he sighed "and for myself really. I was scared, I am not proud to admit it, but I was scared about what this would mean for all of us afterwards" he said.
"What do you mean?" asked Harry innocently. Hermione gave Harry an exasperated look.
Remus just smiled kindly. "Being a queer werewolf is not the most–how can I put it" said Remus thoughtfully.
"I understand" Harry cut him off, realising that there is a whole world that refused to understand, to accept. Hermione looked sympathetically at Lupin now, smiling encouragingly.
Harry now turned to Sirius. "Did–did my parents know?" he asked shyly. "I mean, back then–you said you were together at–at school." his voice trailed aimlessly.
Sirius turned abruptly, a sincere but sad smile in his lips, "did you parents know? Of course they did" he said, reminiscently, looking at Harry and giving Remus a glance.
"Lily knew first. She was brilliant about it, no doubt there" said Lupin, who was finally getting up from Sirius' bed. Harry smiled imagining his mother.
"And Prongs knew–well–he found out later, actually" continued Sirius.
"It took him a year to realise. We were trying to be subtle about it back then" added Remus. "It was very new"
"But my dad–my dad was okay with you–eh–well" said Harry, not able to resist asking about his father.
"Of course, he was," said Sirius. Sirius was trying to fight a smile creeping on his lips and continued to look at Harry who was now more intrigued. He wanted to ask Sirius so many questions but also realised it might have not been the right time and place.
Sirius broke the silence again. "Well, I guess, Harry takes after Prongs, then. Judging from your face, you were utterly shocked" he said thoughtfully.
"But you weren't–right? You knew?" it was Remus speaking now who had turned to Hermione.
The girl blushed and slowly nodded. Sirius was surprised, too.
"Erm–y-yes" she blurted quickly. "I had some thoughts," she said.
"You knew?" Sirius repeated briskly. "Why didn't you tell?" he asked the girl who blushed even more now.
"Well, it was not my place to tell, was it?" she challenged. Sirius grinned.
"Wait–how–how did Hermione know?" Harry asked. Everyone in the room was curious now, all eyes on Hermione. Molly was looking at the girl in shock, her blushing cheeks the same colour as her red hair.
"I–I–saw something" she started, turning crimson like Ron now and brushing away her wild hair. "Back at Grimmauld, last Christmas" she muttered softly.
"what –what did you?" started Sirius, looking horrified. Had the girl walked into them?
"I am so sorry, Sirius! I am sorry Professor Lupin!" she said frantically.
"Merlin's balls!" yelped Fred. "If I don't misunderstand you, Hermione, you actually mean that you walked into Moony and Padfoot–" they looked with a wild expression.
"Fred! George! This is INAPPROPRIATE!" Molly yelled, in a shrill voice.
"The whole conversation is, congrats for realising" said Sirius in a salacious grin that would have been funny otherwise. Remus was oddly calm, trying to grasp the situation. "I don't think Hermione means–" he started.
"No!" cried Hermione, now looking horrified. "It was nothing like that!" she added frantically, glancing at Harry.
"I am sorry! I am so very sorry! It was just a conversation, I accidentally overheard, and oh, Kreacher would mutter about things too–so–so I put two and two together. And one night you–you just hugged–in a different sort of way" said the girl desperately, as if she was accused of something.
Molly huffed in disbelief.
"Well, and I and Moony here thought we were being subtle" scoffed Sirius, absent-mindedly, the potion Madam Pomftey gave him just started taking effect.
Harry's face was hot now. He clearly did not want to imagine Sirius and Remus that way. But at the same time, Harry knew this was childish and they were both grown men in a long-term relationship. It was only normal that they would be sleeping together. Harry brushed away that though quickly, though. It was like imagining his parents…
Remus was silently looking at Hermione awkwardly, but Sirius shook his head a bit too hard and fell back on the pillow, feeling another dizzy spell coming. Poppy came to his side, this time saying nothing. She had learned a lesson about Sirius not wanting to be babysat or contained.
Remus spoke softly, "well–I guess I am grateful you did not divulge our secret" he said, trying not to embarrass Hermione any more. Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. He seemed disoriented.
Molly was now completely out of it from all the revelations. She was holding her head, rubbing her wand on her throbbing temple at the same time.
"So, you–you were together last year, with everyone being there–" she started but fell back on her chair again, not knowing what to say. Or maybe realising that Remus and Sirius were not her sons, but grown men.
Remus was calm, his hands in his pockets. He smiled apologetically at Molly, but Sirius scoffed at her, looking like he was ready to become a menace again. Arthur spoke with determination though this time.
"Molly, Sirius and Remus are grown men. They have the right to have personal lives– and we were–erm–we were all staying at Sirius' house. We were guests, not the other way around" said Mr. Weasley firmly.
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and the twins were astonished that Mr. Weasley spoke like this to his wife. Fleur was also biting her lip.
Sirius sneered again. "More like you were taking over my house," he said brusquely. It was Molly's turn to look embarrassed now.
The twins still looked scandalised. Gazing between Hermione and their mother, but also appreciating Sirius' cheekiness in a conspiratorial manner.
"I am genuinely very sorry" she muttered. "For everything" she said shakily. But Remus gestured to her softly, implying all this is alright.
Even Sirius did not seem upset anymore. "T'is alright, Molly. We know you mean well" he said in a slow slurred speech like he was drunk. "Even though sometimes you can be a nightmare!" and then he added jovially. "So am I, really" he mused, undeterred. This earned him a laugh from Remus, who clearly intimately knew the different mood swings of his sometimes difficult partner.
Molly was looking at him sympathetically now, feeling a wave of relief and she sighed heavily.
"Well—well, when things go back to normal" she paused a minute, pondering the obvious question of what normal even meant–"You are most welcome to the Burrow for supper on Sundays" she added softly.
Harry knew that this was Molly's attempt at reconciliation with Sirius, and probably the end of her endless interference.
"Ta," said Sirius. "So no more matchmaking, for dear old Moony, then it is, Molly?" he asked briskly, clapping Remus' arm. Remus had moved next to Sirius now, sitting on a chair he had conjured.
"Well, I gather that that would be inappropriate" she tutted, her gaze back at Bill now, who was stirring and jerking his face a bit, slowly waking up.
Harry was not sure if he wanted to laugh or not at this sudden shift of things. Hermione was still awkwardly smiling. Even Sirius, in his dizzy and disoriented state, seemed serene and happy now.
Harry knew that things had changed, of course, but it didn't mean it would not be for the better. It would require a lot of processing of information, answered questions, and more confessions, but he hoped that Remus and Sirius would be generous enough to open up about the past and share that with Harry.
As for Tonks, Harry doubted she would be mad for a long time. Maybe a bit embarrassed, but she would be fine, he hoped.
Sirius gave Harry a small wink, and Remus a small smile, and the boy imagined what it would be, for a minute, to live with them, as a family, together.
This was enough for now, he decided.