Friday, 6 September, 1991

Tonks was fast asleep when Remus came home from work.

Again.

Not that he blamed her; it was the fifth night in a row like this. Remus had done nothing but restock the expected low inventory of goods at the Marauders' Mart all week. For many of their best selling products, there was no inventory to speak of; the final day of shopping before the new term at Hogwarts had all but emptied their storeroom.

Monday would've been more productive with the lads, but it was a day of celebration. Harry had been sorted to Gryffindor, in what had been one of the longest sorting ceremonies yet, with over 80 new students to sort. Remus was glad for the slight distraction, as his friends poked and prodded him over his new bride and how they'd spent their first wedded days together.

Remus only informed them that the marriage was consummated, with no added details, much to their thinly veiled annoyance. When he told them that his young wife was none other than Sirius's second cousin, his friends called for a family reunion at the Potters' as soon as Lily allowed it. Sirius was thrilled at the family connection and promised to write to his cousin, Andromeda, that night. James was tickled pink that Remus and Sirius were really family now, and Peter was simply happy to have another reason to spend some time with his son and his friends.

All the jubilation put them behind schedule and Remus came home to find his wife sleeping on the sofa. He'd made her a hot chocolate and settled on the couch next to her with a book. He hadn't wanted to wake her; instead, he spent more time staring at her than reading, transfixed by the way her hair shifted colors as she slept. He would've woken her, but she had her first day of work the next day, and he didn't want to be the reason why she was poorly rested.

Tuesday was a failure on all fronts. Remus had seen Tonks off to her first day of work; he'd wished her luck and kissed her cheek before she went through the Floo. He'd had every intention of going to his new in-laws' home for dinner, for a casual congratulatory meal in honor of Tonks's new journey as an Auror.

But everything that could go wrong, did go wrong at the shop. Peter couldn't come in because his son was ill, Sirius had needed to leave early to take Amelia to a last-minute Healer's appointment ahead of the twins' birth, and James left minutes after closing to get home to his family.

The Marauders' Mart was still behind on its inventory, and with a Ministry order for charmed calendars due the next day, Remus had to be the one to finish it. He sent a letter to Tonks to apologize for his absence, but it reached the house in Wales, rather than the Tonkses' home in Bromley. Remus had come home to a subdued and tired wife, who merely informed him that her last name was now officially Lupin-Tonks before she tucked herself into bed.

There was also a letter from his father, who had attended the dinner at the Tonkses', with stern words for Remus over his absence. Remus felt terrible and wanted to make it up to Tonks, but there was no way to do it until the weekend.

Wednesday gave him a brief reprieve. Tonks made plans to see her school friend for dinner, and she returned in good spirits. A double-date with Blythe and her husband was scheduled for the following week, and Remus promised he would be there, though he raised his eyebrows upon learning that Blythe's husband (whose name Tonks couldn't remember) was his age. Tonks had to report to her training extra early on Thursday, which meant she was in bed shortly after she came home from Blythe's, preventing Remus from striking up conversation with her (much less any other activity).

Thursday was as challenging as Monday, but Peter was back at the shop to help. Remus worked later than he meant to, which prepared the shop for weekend sales, and when he came home, Tonks was curled up on the sofa, clutching a badger-shaped pillow and snoring lightly. Remus didn't have the heart to wake her, so he put a blanket over her and left a hot chocolate for her to wake up to. She eventually moved to the bed, but as with other mornings, Remus had to leave before she was awake.

The week's alienation from one another was a far cry from the past weekend. In between their romps in bed, Remus had enjoyed getting to know his wife. They'd talked about their school days, the professors they had in common, their hobbies and interests, and their hopes for the future. Tonks hoped to make a difference as an Auror. Remus wanted to continue at the shop, though he had some ideas for new products that would mimic Shield Charms and other defensive spells. He'd planned to pitch the new ideas to his friends, but there was always something that got in the way.

All his plans were becoming distant memories now that he was married. Tonks was clever and funny. She showed off her Metamorphmagus abilities, which made Remus laugh and smile until his face hurt. When they were in bed, after sex, she let him hold her as they talked. It was shockingly easy to forget about the rest of the world when they were together like that. Remus hadn't known the touch of a woman in years, and as Tonks grew more comfortable with him over the weekend, it became obvious to Remus that if he wasn't careful, he would be seriously smitten with his new wife in no time at all.

It was now Friday, and despite his best attempts, Remus hadn't made it home early enough. He found Tonks on the sofa once more, and Chinese takeaway on the coffee table with a note scribbled next to it.

I wrote to you to ask what you liked but you didn't reply. I hope you like chicken and cashew.

Tonks shifted in her sleep. Remus longed to reach out to her. They hadn't had sex since Sunday, given their busy schedules, and though they'd managed a few brief conversations, Remus yearned for the chance to hold his wife in his arms. His taste of married life, of waking up to a woman in his bed, had given him a craving for more. He was terrified of losing the little progress they'd made together, that Tonks would become like Laura, Peter's wife, and would eventually tolerate Remus as a roommate.

Remus scarfed down the food Tonks had brought home and put the leftovers away. While Tonks slept, he cast his usual cleaning charms, got the dishes done, and tidied around the house. Tonks had confessed she was terrible at household spells, no matter how many times her mother tried to teach her, but Remus didn't mind doing the work for her. He never wanted to give her a reason to regret choosing him.

It was after he'd cleaned the bathroom that he heard Tonks stirring from the living room.

"Remus?" she croaked. "Is that you?"

Remus's heart raced upon hearing her voice. He dropped what he was doing and found Tonks sitting up on the sofa, with her midnight blue hair mussed from her nap.

"Good evening," he said softly. "How are you?"

"I'm all right." Tonks glanced down at the coffee table. "Did you eat?"

"I did, thank you."

"You saw my note?"

Remus nodded and sank down in the armchair across from the sofa. "I'm sorry I didn't reply—I don't think the owl even made it to the storeroom."

"That's okay."

"It's not," Remus said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. It's been a busy week at the shop."

Tonks set her badger-shaped pillow aside. It was one of the many whimsical decorations she'd brought into the house, which had replaced all of Lily's additions. There was more color in the house, more greenery, and more life now that Tonks was there.

A few moments of silence hung between them. Remus had more to say, he had apologies to make, but the words had escaped his mind.

"Are you working over the weekend too?" asked Tonks.

"Only the mornings," he replied. "I haven't forgotten about our plans for Saturday and Sunday."

"That's good."

Remus twiddled his thumbs together. "How's work for you?"

Tonks brightened and smiled. She replied, "It's great. Alice and Mad-Eye are the best. Alice has got four kids so she knows how hard it can be for witches in the office. She's got all these alternative training programs for when I'm pregnant. Did you know that she's the one who wrote all the modifications to the training program for witches? She's brilliant and she said she'll be my mentor."

Remus beamed at Tonks, thrilled that she had good support in her career.

Tonks continued her news. "Alice said it will probably take me longer to finish my training if I get pregnant right away but she and Mad-Eye said it's just fine, 'coz the Ministry would sack everyone if they fired a pregnant witch. Mad-Eye even said I'm one of the best trainees he's had in the last ten years!"

"That's wonderful," Remus said, elated at his wife's happiness and success. "You deserve it. You're brilliant."

Another awkward silence followed Remus's statement. Tonks, growing pink, cleared her throat and tucked her legs underneath her.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Remus replied. "Ask me anything."

"Are you allergic to cats?"

Remus raised a brow at her. "Is this your way of asking if I'd be all right with you getting a cat?"

Tonks nodded rapidly. "I had one, Matilda, but she died a few months ago. It's been kind of lonely around here."

A pang of guilt lurched in Remus's chest. Sirius and James were interested in opening a line of children's charmed toys, which would more than double the shop's workload. If they succeeded, Remus would be working six days a week for the foreseeable future.

It meant six long days away from Tonks and their budding friendship, week after week.

"So can I get a cat?" Tonks asked. "If you're not allergic?"

"I'd like to get a cat with you," said Remus, "but most animals are naturally skittish around me. We'd have to get one that won't run away, so I should be there when we get it."

"Can we get one tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? So soon?"

"I'm not working weekends for a while, and I can meet you at your shop when you're done with work?" Tonks suggested. "I haven't met any of your friends except for Sirius."

Remus scratched at his chin. Saturdays were busy at the shop. He was scheduled to work the morning, but it was likely he'd be there until the early afternoon. That night they had plans to see Tonks's parents. On Sunday, they'd have lunch with Lyall, and then gather at the Potters' so Tonks could meet his friends and their families.

"When are you done?" Tonks pressed. "Ten or eleven?"

"I might not be done till noon or one—"

"But you said you're only working the morning."

"I'm scheduled until eleven, but—"

"Noon, then," said Tonks. "I want to bring our new cat home before we see my parents."

Remus brushed silvery strands away from his eyes. "It might be hard for me to get out at twelve."

"But—" Tonks pressed her lips together and shook her head. "I'll come at noon. If you're not ready, I'll wait for you. I can always buy the cat's stuff first and then we get the cat together."

An uncomfortable, churning sensation invaded Remus's stomach. The cat could wait a few more days, even a week, if Tonks was willing to be patient.

"Anyway, since I'm awake, should we—" Tonks pointed her thumb at the bedroom. "You know?"

Remus blinked at his wife of a week, stumped by abrupt change in their conversation.

"I figure we should, because we haven't since Sunday?" Tonks's hair shifted to a soft pink, matching the bloom of color rising in her face and neck. "Unless you're too tired or you want to talk more about the cat?"

The roiling feeling in Remus's abdomen hadn't left him, but it was fading away while his attention was fixed on Tonks's rosy cheeks.

"And anyway," Tonks continued quietly, "I should be getting pregnant soon, or at least that's what Alice hopes."

Remus furrowed his brow. "Your trainer wants you to get pregnant?"

"She said that if we have a boy right away, I'll get through my training faster."

"I see," said Remus. He rubbed his hands together, wondering if there were any methods to ensure he produced a daughter on the first try (and possibly, every subsequent time). Not that he wanted to delay Tonks's training, but he was becoming more convinced that she would tolerate sleeping with him only until they bore a son.

"So do you want to?" Tonks tilted her head at their bedroom. "Now?"

"Do you mind if we have some tea first?" Remus suggested. "I'd like to hear more about your training."

Tonks took Remus's suggestion, to his relief. While he fixed tea, she changed out of her Auror robes and into her pyjamas. Remus had learned she liked a peppermint and vanilla blend at night, while he stuck to his usual black tea and added a spoonful of honey to it.

He'd have been lying if he said he didn't want to sleep with her right away—he'd been dreaming of her all week and had woken every morning with a throbbing erection—but he'd enjoyed getting to know her. He was determined to have a better marriage than the Pettigrews, even if he couldn't dare hope for a marriage like the Potters or Blacks.

Remus joined Tonks again in the living room, but this time he sat on the other end of the sofa, leaving only a small space between him and Tonks.

He was determined to keep up a warm friendship with the vibrant witch who had chosen him.

Tonks accepted the tea from Remus with a half-hearted smile.

It was the most she'd seen of her husband since Sunday. Every night, when she came home to an empty or quiet house, she found herself disappointed. Remus was kind and generous when he was around, but those times were few and far between. Tonks hadn't expected her husband to be a workaholic werewolf, who had little time to spare for her. She didn't want to be needy or ask too much of him, but it felt lonely to live in his home. The big bed in his room— their room—was even lonelier without him, which led her to sleep on the sofa.

The current offer of tea and a chat was a welcome activity, but if they were only going to have limited time together, Tonks was worried that any time spent away from the bed would slow them down. It would take too long to get pregnant if all they did was talk whenever Remus was away from the shop.

(Worse yet, it worried her that he preferred tea and conversation to sex. She'd been told for years that when she was married, her new husband wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of her, but he seemed to need convincing to be with her. He called her beautiful and told her she was stunning, but what good did it do if he didn't want to be intimate with her?)

If they failed to conceive a child, they'd be subjected to intense testing at St. Mungo's, and if they couldn't prove they'd tried, the Ministry would punish them. It meant Tonks would lose her job and all the work she'd put in to get it, and Remus could be castrated.

With punishments so severe, Tonks wondered why Remus continued to work long hours, or why his friends let him do so. She had half a mind to march to the Marauders' Mart the next morning and shout at Remus's friends, but she wanted to meet them first and learn why they took advantage of her husband. Tonks couldn't imagine why any friend would treat another so poorly, even if they offered help in other areas.

So Tonks sat on the sofa with Remus, both of them sipping their tea quietly, and wondered when he would ask her about her training, or if he expected her to begin the conversation. Her fear only grew that perhaps, after a weekend with her, he'd grown tired of her and regretted being chosen.

"Is your trainer Alice Longbottom, by any chance?" asked Remus, as he set his mug down on the coffee table.

Tonks snapped her neck up to meet his gaze. "Yes, do you know her?"

"I know of her," Remus replied. "She was a few years ahead of us at school. James's son, Harry, was sorted into Gryffindor with the Longbottoms' oldest."

"Neville," said Tonks. "That's Alice and Frank's oldest. Frank is an Auror too but he does more field work. Alice is more on the investigative team. That's where they want me."

"Is that what you want?"

"I want to do everything. I'm lucky they even let me stay. They almost wouldn't let me go into training because I married you."

Remus froze. "They what?"

"They let me, so don't worry about it," said Tonks, while taking a long sip of her favorite bedtime tea, relaxing as their conversation went on. "You should've seen Alice. She looked ready to hex those record wizards. Mad-Eye stuck up for me. I like him a lot already, he's even cooler than I thought." She took another long slurp and set her mug between her cold hands.

"Alice said she waited until her training was done to have Neville but she told me not to do that," she continued. "She said it was risky to wait three years and the Ministry was sending her notices about not getting pregnant fast enough."

"That's why you want to get pregnant right away?"

"Well, yeah," Tonks said, as if it wasn't already obvious. "The sooner we have a boy, the sooner the Ministry will leave us alone. If we want more it can be when I'm done with training?"

An almost hungry look came across Remus's eyes. Tonks blinked and it was gone.

"Are there other witches like you in the department?" Remus asked. "Ones who need to have a son?"

"Four. Alixa McLaggen, Shelby Cresswell, Dinah Fudge, and Leigha Runcorn. Alixa's got three girls already and she's still not done with training. Shelby's got one boy but she wants more kids. Dinah's got one girl. Leigha's been putting off having kids but she said she's going to try soon. She's almost done with training."

Remus gazed at her for a few seconds. The hungry look was back, but it was shadowy; Tonks curled her toes and wondered what it meant.

"If we had a son right away," Remus said, his voice sounding measured, "would you want to have more children?"

"Maybe?"

Tonks bit the inside of her cheek. The witches in the Auror office all told her the same thing: if she wanted to be an Auror and a mother, she would need lots of help. The Ministry provided childcare for its employees' children under five, but that was only during work hours. All the Auror witches had in-laws to rely on, or in Dinah's case, a wealthy husband whose uncle was the Minister of Magic. Alice and Frank lived next door to Frank's mum, a formidable-sounding witch, who nonetheless delighted in caring for her four grandchildren.

"It's not something we need to decide right away, is it?" Tonks asked, growing uneasy under Remus's intense contemplation. "We have time?"

Remus softened his gaze and nodded. "We do, of course we do."

"Good."

Tonks breathed a sigh of relief. One baby provided plenty of terror for her. She looked down at her empty mug and over at Remus; his mug was empty too. As if he could read her mind, he said, "Would you like to go to bed, or stay here for a while?"

"Does go to bed mean sex?" she asked, unsure, "or just . . . bed?"

"Either," Remus replied. "It's entirely up to you."

"But you want to do it, right?" Tonks asked, nearly wishing Remus was more like Blythe's husband, who had them on a schedule. "You want to have sex with me?"

Remus stared blankly at her, as if he hadn't understood the question.

"Do you not want to anymore?" A lump grew in Tonks's throat. She had been married a week and already her husband was done with her. "You didn't like having sex with me? I'm not good enough—not good at it?"

"No, no, no!" Remus shook his head as tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. "No, Tonks, it's not—I do, I want to, I very much want to—"

"Then why—"

Remus inched closer to Tonks on the sofa and put his hand on her bare thigh. The feeling of his hand on her sent a jolt of energy down her spine; she glanced down and saw gooseflesh erupting over her skin.

"You're so young," Remus said. "I'm much older. I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I want this to be something we can both enjoy—or tolerate, if that's how you feel—I want to take it at your pace, not mine, not until you say so."

"But you do want to," Tonks repeated. "It's not a chore, or something you tolerate, or—shit, I must be annoying to you right now, you didn't want this, I sound so stupid—"

Remus cut her off with an unexpected kiss. Where only her cheeks were hot with her embarrassment, her whole body started to grow warm when he pulled her back from her spot on the sofa. His hands shifted her until she was sitting in his lap, with her chest pressed against his, and her legs splayed out on either side of him.

"Tonks," Remus said roughly, in between kisses, "don't ever think I don't want you. Don't ever think you're not good enough. Any man with eyes would be lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you."

He returned to her lips, as the heat between them grew. Tonks's mind raced with what he'd said. Her thoughts were interrupted by the kisses he pressed along her jaw and neck, but it was clear that he wanted her, that he wanted to be with her, that she hadn't been a disappointment to him.

Tonks gasped when Remus lifted her off the sofa. In one motion, he stood up, took her backside in his hands, and walked to their bedroom.

His lips never left hers.

Remus put her down on the bed, and in a matter of seconds, her pyjamas were thrown to the floor. His clothes were tossed haphazardly over the chair in the bedroom, and they crawled underneath the covers.

"Please tell me if this is too fast—"

"It's good, I'm good—" Tonks replied breathlessly, as Remus captured her lips in another kiss, though this one was less urgent.

"We can still slow down," Remus said softly. He wrapped his arm around her and drew her close. Tonks heard his heart thumping in his chest, felt his cock hard against her thigh, and inhaled his woody scent.

Why was he slowing down?

"We don't have to slow down," Tonks returned, but Remus only kissed her forehead.

"I want to," he said, as his fingers drew light patterns along her back. "You can't imagine how good it is for me, just having you here."

Tonks buried her face in his chest to hide her happy grin, not wanting to seem too eager or conceited.

"Will you let me touch you more?" Remus asked. His fingers trailed down to her hips. "I want you to feel good."

"Okay," Tonks breathed. She'd learned it was easier when she was on her back, with her legs spread apart so Remus could touch her easily.

Remus slipped his fingers between her legs, and no sooner than he began stroking her, he brought his mouth up to hers to kiss her again.

Muffled cries into his mouth were all Tonks could muster while he worked her up. Her already sensitive body gave in to him, and far sooner than she expected, she was experiencing wave after wave of ecstasy radiating throughout her body.

Remus caressed her, his touch lighter now, as her body enjoyed the last vestiges of her high.

"Thank you," she wheezed.

"No need to thank me," he told her. "I promised you last week, whenever you want that, I will be happy to give it to you."

Tonks sighed contently and rolled onto her side. She felt they were making progress from last weekend, when Remus asked her permission for every little action he took.

It made her wonder what he wanted her to do to him.

"Remus," she murmured, "is there something you want me to do for you?"

"Pardon?"

"Something different or special?"

Remus's throat bobbed. He inhaled a shallow breath and held her tighter.

"There are—" he began, and cleared his throat. "There are some things I like."

"Like what?"

Remus closed his eyes. Tonks felt his erection throb against her body; she knew it meant he was very interested.

"If you're willing," said Remus, with his eyes still closed, "ride me. You on top. We'll start there."

Tonks felt he was holding many things back from her, but it was a start. Remus shifted to lay on his back and Tonks straddled him. She'd stood on the bed to get her bearings, and then she took his cock in her hand to guide him inside her. As she sank down, she heard Remus moan her name.

She sat on top of him, with her hands on his chest, and wiggled around, which made Remus moan again.

"Do I move now?" she asked, as she got used to the feeling of him inside her.

"Yes," Remus panted, "set the pace."

Tonks felt odd at first, gyrating her hips back and forth, but she learned quickly that Remus liked it when she moved around just so, and that increasing her speed gave him even more pleasure. Remus began to thrust up into her; his hands gripped her hips and his mouth fell open as Tonks rode him.

Then, out of nowhere, Remus stilled. Tonks saw his face contort in pleasure and felt him pulse inside her as expletives dripped off his tongue.

"Wow," she whispered, marveling at her own power.

Remus's grip softened only a little. He brought her down to rest on his chest, but he hadn't removed himself from her body.

"You're wonderful," he murmured. He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you."

Tonks smiled into the crook of his arm. Maybe, if she did that enough times with him, he'd come home from work early enough to spend more time with her.