Warning:

This story will very later down the line depict a toxic mostly one sided relationship between an underage girl and an adult man. The lines of adult and child are blurred considering Aki (the centric character) is reincarnated, having died at the age of 16. With the additional 14 years she has in her second body she is chronologically 30. The characters in question are mentally not alright, morally questionable at best, evil at worst. I am not writing an OC-centric story where they are a hero. They are a sympathetic villain, and having been born as a Shinobi child-soldier in their first life has a very skewed idea of right and wrong. The man in question is not justified in any way for pursuing a relationship like this, but he's a villain, so not like he has solid morals.

This story is not romance-centric. In fact the relationship that will way down the line be depicted is more leaning into the messed up psychological side of things than anything. There may be depictions of sex (not that I've written any yet but I don't want to rule it out), but it's also in service of the story and not pornographic. I will put a disclaimer on the top of the chapter where it occurs. I am not in any way condoning the kind of relationship depicted here in real life.

All this talk about sex, makes it seem like there's going to be a lot in the story :') However there won't be. I just want to make sure everyone who reads is aware of what may occur way down the line so you can drop out now if it isn't your thing. It isn't the focus. A majority of this story is just about a Shinobi's perspective on this weird as world. There will be very little UA involved, since I find the world more interesting than the high school setting it was chained to. The main character will be a villain, and will be taking part more in the wider world than in the school setting.

The Price of Pain

Chapter 1: A New Beginning

Ami Yosuke had been renamed Kuroishi Akiho. It was hers now and she had easily given up her old name. Ami was dead and gone, killed in action. She had first been born to a world of war and death, her home made of cold stone and jagged mountains. Iwagakure, the village hidden in stone. Her village had pride in their mastery of war and violence. It revered it openly. Ami hated war. It killed her father and mother, left her an orphan, and forced her to sign up to her own demise at a young age. She was no prodigy, not a specially blessed Shinobi with a storied and noble bloodline. She was just a second-generation Shinobi, respectable in the sense that she could have made Jounin if she had been given a few more years, but not valuable enough to mourn should she die.

She had managed to somehow scramble to a respectful rank of Chunin at age 14 before she died two years later. Her death was sudden and quick. All she saw was a yellow flash, before she watched the head of her comrade sever from his spine, eyes wide with probably the same kind of shock she felt when she too was decapitated by a force beyond her skills. As her head rolled on the ground, she realised what had happened, and she saw the blue sky for the last time.

All she could think of was... damn.

All that struggling, all that death, all those tears from loss and pain... the war was set to end, and she died in the final battle that marked its closure. In a battle she wouldn't have come to know as the day the Konoha's Yellow Flash killed a thousand Iwa Shinobi in under a minute. Ami had been one of many, having been born to war and lived her whole life to it. Dying right before she could even get a taste of peace.

And as if the world heard her sorrow, she wasn't met with darkness. Rather she was welcomed to a world of heroes, a world that hadn't known war in hundreds of years. Ami was reborn as Akiho.

For the first five years of her life Ami, now Aki, had lived it in silence. She spoke very little and demanded even less attention. Which wasn't exactly a good thing considering her single father didn't know how to raise a girl. He said he loved her very much, but he was also a depressed man who could barely take care of himself, let alone a baby girl. Kuroishi Daiso, drank too much, slept too little, and ate too little. Her father had an unfortunate habit of staring at a wall for extended periods of time and refusing to look her in her eyes. Daiso was a man too depressed to take care of himself, let alone a baby.

So as soon as Aki could move, she took care of herself as much as she could. Changing her own diapers, mixing her own formula, and washing herself in the sink as much as she could. Daiso was relieved his daughter was so independent, and without any other child in his life to compare her too, he considered her normal. If he had even bothered to take her to a park with other children, he may have noticed that her behaviour was in fact not the norm. Aki never said he was bright either.

Despite how unequipped of a father she had, she supposed it was better than nothing. She didn't know what it was like here, but in Iwa if a baby didn't have parents, or space in orphanages, they were just killed. Especially if the child came from outside a known Clan or respected Shinobi parents. No one simply had the resources to raise unwanted babies. Ami had watched her little brother get killed after her mother, the last of her family, died in war. A Shinobi simply slit his throat and took her that very day to the Academy at the tender age of 4 years old, newly orphaned, and completely alone. She had become a quiet, cynical, and withdrawn child ever since.

This world may not have been perfect, but it was peaceful. Aki thought she should be content... but she wasn't. Violence itched under her skin, reminding her of all the things she had done to survive, from dropping poison into a sleeping Genin's lips, to burning down entire border villages and farms to destroy supply lines. Iwa fought without mercy and anyone who voiced decent were quickly killed themselves. In comparison to the terror and struggle of that life, this one was heaven. She may not have had the most responsible parent, but even though she went hungry often, she never starved, and she didn't have to worry about being conscripted.

It was only when she turned 4 years old and ventured out of the house without supervision for the first time, that she realised it had its own problems. The air smelt bad, the trees were small, the people seemed almost robotic. They had such a firm 9-5 routine, going from one place to the next, scraping by an income to survive. This world was monotonous... except for the theatrics of heroes and villains. Aki first saw a hero in action when she was four and exploring. She saw it from a distance as a man dressed in mostly jeans fought a rampaging rhino like man. Beast Jeanist had pulled many ignorant civilians out of the way who had walked towards danger to catch a glimpse of him. Aki wondered where their survival instincts went. She too was about to move away, but the world had other plans for her.

It wasn't Beast Jeanist who she met that day. It was a man with curly dark hair and a dark grey jumpsuit. He pulled her out of the way of a falling debris and put her down.

"Are you alone? Where are your parents?" he asked.

Aki just shrugged. That was an odd question from her perspective. She knew the way home. All he had to do was put her down and she would leave. Her body was nowhere near what it used to be when she had chakra, and she didn't want to be involved in this anymore. Unfortunately for her, he didn't take silence for an answer.

"I can't leave you here without your mother or father. Can you tell me where they are?" he asked again, more gently this time.

Aki tried to hold back the twitch of irritation in her eye and failed. "My father is at work. I know how to get back. You can put me down now."

"He left you here alone?" the man asked, eyes wide.

"I left him alone more like," Aki explained.

"Does he leave you at home alone often?" the hero asked.

"Yes... I know the way back," Aki said.

"I can't leave you here without an adult right after a villain attack. My name is Eraserhead. We will go back to the station and your father can pick you up from there. Do you know his number?"

"Yes," Aki sighed.

If it were anyone else, she would have bit his hand and run away. But Eraserhead reminded her of Shinobi a little. Not exactly all the way considering she hadn't met anyone else with the exact same disposition of a trained killer here, but the way he walked silently and didn't dress so flashy was the closest thing to a Shinobi she had seen. It struck her as odd that she considered that a comfort.

"I can walk on my own," she said after 5 minutes of being carried.

"It's much faster if I carried you," he replied.

"I hate how short my legs are," she grumbled in reluctant agreement.

That earnt her an amused snort, and she reluctantly allowed herself to be carried to the station. It wasn't until the other police officers started talking to her that she began missing Eraserhead. He didn't talk to her in such a high pitched, ear bleeding tone. Did the adults here think she was too stupid to understand normal speech?

"Sweetheart, does your father leave you alone often?"

There was that question again. Aki shook her head. He was there at home after 7pm every day for a few hours, and the whole day on weekends.

"He comes back home after work," she said.

"And who looks after you while he's at work?"

"...myself," Aki replied.

She wondered why they were so caught up on this.

"And why were you alone outside today? It's very dangerous out there."

"I can walk well enough now, so I left the house for some fresh air. Is that a crime?" Aki sighed, crossing her arms in irritation.

"No it isn't. You're not in trouble sweetheart," the officer said.

But it was very clear someone was in trouble, and the frustrating part was that Aki for the life of her couldn't figure out why. Was it not normal here for children to walk outside alone? Had she assumed that?

"Thank you for giving us your daddy's number, but you will be sleeping somewhere else tonight okay sweetheart."

Aki's patience left her. She glared at the lady. "I'm going back home."

"Sweetheart, we can't let you."

"Are you kidnapping me or something then?" Aki asked, incredulous as to why law enforcement would do something like this.

"Oh heavens no. We are—"

"I'll explain it to her," a familiar voice said.

Aki watched as Eraserhead knelt down in front of her, meeting her eye level. He put a hand on the chair next to her and spoke with a serious voice that ebbed away the irritation from the fake sweet baby voices she had been hearing all day. It made her back straighten as she listened.

"Your father is not meant to leave you alone for such long hours. You're too young to be left alone like that."

"He has to work, or we'll be out in the streets," Aki rebutted in frustration.

"Yes, but he has to leave you in day-care. Somewhere with an adult to look after you. Akiho, was it?"

"Aki," she corrected.

"Aki," he conceded before continuing. "You look like a smart girl. What he did is considered negligence. It doesn't look like he's been feeding you either. That's not okay to do to a child."

Aki was admittedly a little confused. As far as she could tell Daiso did what he was meant to as a parent. He fed her... most of the time, and he provided her a roof over her head, and occasionally showed her affection by kissing her forehead and calling her pet names. It was much better parenting than she ever remembered having, and she would even say she was fond of the man.

"I can take care of myself. He is my father. If you take me away, I can't work by myself. I've tried but they said I have to be 16 years old," Aki protested.

If they imprisoned Daiso for this, she could be homeless. She didn't wish that on her father either. She sat back, glaring at the officer and the hero, feeling the violence itch at her skin again. Once again the adults around her sent her pitying looks.

"We don't expect you to work. You'll be living with a case worker until we can find someone who can give you a proper home."

"I have a proper home," Aki snarled.

"When was the last time you ate?" Eraserhead asked.

Aki pursed her lips. It had been the day before for dinner. Her father had bought some takeaway after work, and since nothing in the fridge was edible, she hadn't eaten. But she had a meal that day, which wasn't the best, but she could manage. Somehow, she imagined telling them this wouldn't help her case.

Eraserhead sighed, his eyes softening a little more. She hated that. The softness. Everyone was so soft here, no hard edges. If she had been in her old body, she could have killed all of them without an issue, she still could for most of the people she walked by. Their weakness was grating in a surprising way. It shouldn't be bothering her this much, but it was. How could they live their lives with such softness in their eyes?

Soft things die.

"Your father has hurt you whether you know it or not. That doesn't always mean he's a bad man, but he's not doing good enough. We will talk to him and once he can prove to take care of you again, we will let you go back," Eraserhead said.

Aki gritted her teeth and looked away silently. She couldn't do anything. She was small, weak, and hungry for the most part. Only the strong could protest and she was not there yet. Too weak and useless in this child's body. She remembered the way her baby brother had cried when he had his throat slit, and all she could do was watch silently before she was taken to the Academy. She had forgotten how little, children her age had control over.

"I got you some snacks," he said, bringing her out of her dark thoughts.

Aki dumbly took the plastic jello cup in her hands. Why had this man given her a treat? What was his play? Despite her questions she opened it and ate it regardless, enjoying the way the sugary goodness easily slid down her throat.

"It may be scary right now. You may be uncertain of what's to come but hang on tight. You seem like a brave girl."

"I get that you think my father did something wrong. But I can take care of myself. He doesn't hurt me, and he gives me enough food to live. What if the place I end up is much worse than what I have now?" Aki asked.

"Your one cynical four-year-old," the man noted before sighing and raking tired fingers through his hair. "I can't promise it'll be perfect, but I can promise it will be better than what you have now."

"Daiso is still family. Regardless of what he's supposedly done now. You won't hurt him, will you?"

Eraserhead regarded her for a moment and held out a pinkie finger.

"I promise."

"What's this meant to be?" Aki asked looking at the finger.

"A sacred oath," he replied in deadpan.

Raising a brow she shook his pinkie, making the officer giggle. She grimaced at being considered cute, and the hero sent her his first smile. She had no idea what the joke was, but it irritated her.

Aki stayed in the precinct for a while, and she would have run if not for the many treats and delicious food they were giving to her for free. It reluctantly kept her staying, especially when the officer bought her something called a strawberry crepe and a divine drink called orange juice. They didn't have oranges in Iwa. In fact they had very little fruit. It was admittedly too delicious to pass.

Eventually though her patience wore thin, especially when she heard her father enter the precinct. She silently got out of her seat and peaked through the hallway, seeing him arguing with the hero and officers loudly.

"You can't just take her away!" he shouted.

"You should be lucky we aren't pressing charges for criminal neglect. Your daughter is severely underweight and showing signs of neglect and malnourishment. You let a four-year-old roam the streets alone, and she nearly got caught in a villain attack. Do you know how many children get abducted and trafficked every year?"

Aki thought Eraserhead's angry voice was in fact scary. He never raised his voice, but there was a sharp edge to it that pleased her ears. It reminded her of Shinobi. The small hint of admiration was dashed when her father began crying. She had seen the man cry many times, looking at his empty wallet, and sometimes out of nowhere. It was pretty obvious he was depressed. But these tears were not shed in the confines of their home, but rather in front of people who he shouldn't be showing any weakness too. Aki had never wanted to kick her father so bad in her life.

"I can't handle her. I can't take care of her. She's too much," he said.

Aki froze in her tracks. All thoughts of kicking her father in the balls stopped as she looked at him in shock. She was too much? She did everything herself! All he had to do was make enough money to feed the both of them. Surely it wasn't that hard. She had not complained about their dire living conditions, not once protested when she skipped a whole day's worth of meals, or when she had to change her own nappy. She had done her best to not be a burden... and yet.

He didn't want her. The thought of it was harder to bear than she imagined.

"She was your responsibility. She is a child, and you are the adult," Eraserhead hissed.

"She wasn't even wanted. I was raped. A woman took advantage of me and after she had Aki, she dropped her on me and left. I don't know how to take care of a child! I can barely take care of myself. Every time I look at her, I see that cursed woman," Daiso admitted, holding his face in his hands.

Akiho dropped the blanket she was holding, and her father looked at her. She stared back, feeling her eyes blur for the first time in this life. It wasn't until a moment later that she realised she was crying. Taking a hesitant step back, Aki wiped away her tears, and slowly walked back to her seat again.

She barely noticed as Eraserhead sat next to her, until the weight of the blanket she had dropped was around her again. She took it gratefully.

"I'm sorry he said those things," Eraserhead said.

"I didn't care that we didn't have food, or that the house was mouldy, or that he never bathed or would get the stool for me to reach the sink. I never once complained. I can even get the stool for myself now. I can take care of myself... why am I too much still? How could he not want me?"

"It's not your fault. You are a child. It is not your responsibility to take care of yourself. It was his responsibility to take care of you. Sometimes adults can fail in their jobs, and it's up to the other adults around you to make sure you're safe," Eraserhead said.

Aki had never missed her baby brother so much in her life. She wiped away her remaining tears and sighed, feeling numb to the pain. Daiso had never been the best father, but he had been family. She had been grateful for the idea of having any living relatives in this world. Even one was enough to make her put up with a lot. How long had she pined for that feeling in her old world? She had foolishly thought this life had been to make up for her old one.

"I'm really tired Eraserhead. I'm so tired of everything."

And she was tired. Bone deep tired. She sniffled, wiping away the snot from her previous crying. She didn't expect a hand to touch her head and bring her closer to his chest. There it was again... the softness. She supposed maybe it wasn't so bad all the time.

"When things feel hard, you have to remember to fight for the good things. But for now I'll make sure you'll end up in a good foster home okay. That's a promise," he said.

Aki held out her pinkie and he took it.

"That's a sacred oath right?"

"It is."

She hoped he was a man of his word.

Aki didn't mind her new house. It had several children and the couple taking care of all of them was severely overworked and over stimulated by the end of the day. For the most part they liked her, considering she was mostly self-sufficient. They made sure to buy her strawberry crepes once a week, and they always stocked up on orange juice, which put them in her good books. As far as living conditions went this was amazing. Much better than the measly stipend she started receiving in the Academy in her previous life. She remembered the struggles of living communally with other orphans who were just as clueless as her on how to make food and be hygienic. By comparison this house was much easier to live in.

The only issue were the other kids. They were all older, with quirks. It was the peculiarity of this world. While her old one had chakra, which was more of a universal skill, this one was inherently more chaotic. She had a foster brother who had toasters for hands. Having a hyperactive 6-year-old who could melt metal with his hands was a dangerous combo. Thankfully the others were a little less chaotic. One or her foster sisters could control small animals and often had an army of mice following her every command. The other two could levitate a little of the ground being twins. And finally Aki waited for her own quirk to settle in.

She knew Daiso had what most considered a villain's quirk. His quirk was called lights out. He could turn someone blind for 24 hours if he made eye contact with them. A useful skill in combat, not that her father had seen it that way, considering he found it hard to navigate a society who saw him as an inevitable villain.

He said his quirk had been a curse. Aki just thought he was too lazy to use it in any meaningful way. She hoped her quirk was useful, but she was convinced that regardless of what it was, she could make do.

How wrong she was.

The first time she activated her quirk was the day she turned 5. Her foster brother was a little overexcited from sugar and had grabbed her arm to get her to play with him. Unfortunately for her he had his quirk activated without his mittens on and her arm got burnt. Unfortunately for him, she got her quirk. Some kind of switch flipped, and the boy convulsed, blood coming out of his eyes and ears as he dropped to the ground.

Aki had killed many people. Not unintentionally though. She stared at the lifeless form of a child who didn't know any better, hearing the screams of her foster parents, one who dragged her away into a room and locked her there, and the other looking at her with horror as she held the lifeless body of a child she had just killed. Aki had never been one to go in shock from something as simple as murder… but this had been inherently different. This had been her brother. She had killed her own brother.

She remembered the kunai that glided like a knife through butter against her defenceless baby brother's throat.

And just like that whatever slice of safety she had carved into this world was once more taken from her. Aki found herself acquainted with the ire of the world. Her social worker pulled her towards a facility.

"Don't look at anyone. Eyes on the ground," she said.

"But I won't do that again. It was on accident," she protested.

And she knew innately that she could indeed control it. Why couldn't they understand? It had just been the issue of her sudden activation. She wasn't going to murder everyone who looked at her wrong... although they really were tempting her.

"Until we know how your quirk works keep the blindfold on. Quirk accidents during activation are always pardoned no matter how dire, but we can't have you hurting anyone else," the caseworker said.

Aki sighed but did as she was told. She was not in a state where she could take care of herself just yet. When she could, she wouldn't have to listen to their bullshit orders. This wasn't her Village. She didn't owe them anything. She was beginning to realise she hadn't owed Iwa anything either.

And as she was taken to see many doctors, and was told to use her quirk on mice, all Aki could think of was how they would have records of it. Innately she knew her quirk was more than just an instant kill switch. Every time the doctor told her to look at the rat, she was using her quirk on, she could feel a connection between her and the creature. She knew she could excite it, send a rush of dopamine or adrenaline through its veins, just like she could induce fear or a fight or flight response. She could control its hormones. But just like before, instead of showcasing her actual abilities she simply overloaded its tiny brain and made it pass out.

It wasn't until she found the time to research it on her own later that she understood what she was doing. There were 4 main aspects of brain chemistry she could 'push' or 'pull'. Serotonin, Dopamine, Glutamate, and Norepinephrine. Serotonin could, depending on whether she pushed or pulled, could make someone energetic and ready to go, or depressed and apathetic. Dopamine, which was similar also controlled energy levels, but when pushed could cause an intense feeling of satisfaction or pleasure. Glutamate was something he hadn't really tried affecting just yet, because it wasn't so tied to the base instincts as the others were, but she supposed if he could control it, she could get someone to study or remember things better. And finally there was Norepinephrine, the chemical in the brain that controlled the flight or fight response. The one time she had used it on a cat, it hissed and scratched at her like a demon had possessed it before running away.

"What would you call your quirk?" the doctor asked.

"Black out," Aki said, keeping it vague.

"What's the verdict doc?"

The doctor sighed. "This is a dangerous quirk. I'm going to blacklist it."

"What does that mean?" Aki asked.

"It means you're not to use it. Have her wear quirk suppressant cuffs until we can ascertain if she is safe or not, and she will need quirk evaluations every 3 months to keep progress of her abilities and mental state."

"You're tracking me?" Aki said, feeling the disgust roll around in her stomach.

She understood why. Who would want a little kid running around with her abilities and no supervision? But the idea of being tracked by anyone outside of Iwa was uncomfortable for her. To think their conditioning would follow her to this life. Aki was beginning to see how wrong she was about this world, especially after she was moved to a new foster family. If they could be considered such.

Aki soon realised there were different kinds of fosters. There were ones for the relatively normal quirks, and harsher ones for people like her, ones whose quirks needed monitoring and caution. These homes were isolating and dehumanising. The children were split into individual rooms, with minimal furniture, more akin to prison than a room. The doors were locked in a way only caretakers could open it with a key card. The worst part were the safety precautions which allowed the care takers to blind fold her on a near constant basis.

Being forced to wear a blindfold in the house on the rare moments she was allowed out of her solitary room was a kind of torture in itself. She didn't want to interact with the other children, not that she could effectively without her sight, so when she was given time outside of her room, she simply sat outside taking in the outdoor air.

They didn't care to know what she did in the room, and Aki didn't care to share. Every day she trained, began building back the strength she needed to get out of this hell hole. The words of her father echoed in her mind, sending her into waves of anger and depression respectively. It frustrated her to no end that his words had hurt her in such a way.

But the pain eased with time and discipline. It was years later when she turned 14 that her monotonous passive life changed. Aki had spent that time learning in school, taking more and more abuse silently, and training. She didn't have chakra, but her current body would suffice. She couldn't exactly spar and train her Taijutsu with anyone else without raising suspicion, but she did experiment on nearby animals with her quirk, tweaking their brain chemistry. She made them feel pleasure, pain, terror, and relief. The power to change their mood extended to her classmates who she passively practised on too, subtly making them more docile towards her, more apathetic, at least enough to leave her alone. And finally she realised if she looked in a mirror, she could affect herself, using this as a method to focus on studying and memory retention.

Everything was fine. She was giving herself another 2 or 3 months before she left to make a name for herself in the underworld as a contractor. It was an out from this system to a place where she belonged, which she was familiar with. Her skin itched for violence.

The violence came unexpectedly and without notice.

Aki assaulted a classmate, grabbing him from the back of his collar, tripping him to the ground, and palming his neck. The boy gasped in pain and shock, holding his throat unable to breathe before he felt a fist connect to his face sending him flying. The crowd that had gathered stopped their mumbling.

The violence receded and Aki realised why she had knocked the boy out. His purple haired victim looked up at her with wide, dark eyes, mouth agape in shock. She knew this boy. He was the new kid at her home. Shinsou Hitoshi. His face still bore the lines where they kept him muzzled at the house. Aki had watched him getting picked on every day and walked by without a glance again and again no matter how much it grated on her nerves. Her patience had worn thin.

"Kuroishi?" he muttered in shock.

"Y-you bitch! What did you do that for?" the other bully asked.

Aki simply took a step forward. The boy faltered for a moment, but after seeing how small she was in comparison to him he seemed to gain back some misconstrued confidence. Aki easily parried his punch, and before he could react, she drove her palms underneath his armpits and dislocated both his shoulders. The kid was screaming now, salty tears falling from his eyes as he writhed on the floor. The remaining two boys gave her a frightened look as she gestured silently for them to come at her. They didn't. They ran.

She felt the feral urge to chase them down and kill them. To make sure the threat had no way of coming back for her. She remembered she wasn't at war.

"What is this commotion?!"

She turned around to see a teacher and sighed. She could already see it in their eyes. She was in trouble.

A/N

There is art for this chapter. It's been crossposted to AO3 under Jazz_hop, and the same story name. Or you can find more of my art under jaz_hop in Instagram. Thanks for reading.