chapter 21:
The ball for the prince's safe return arrived too quickly and Kara was too focused on her lessons to think of what she would wear. A week prior to the ball, she was summoned to General Kirigan's quarters. As she arrived in the corridor, Kara could here shouting and recognized Irina's voice. The general's voice could be heard in response, calm but firm. The conversation ended with the door slamming open as Irina stormed out of the room. She had clearly been crying and wiped her tears away angrily as she passed Kara.
Kara saw general Kirigan's silhouette through the open door.
" Is this a bad time? I can come back later". The general shook his head and invited her in. " Irina needed to hear a few things from me. To maintain the illusion of your relationship with me, I cannot continue any other form of relationship with her". Kara rested her lower back on the table and crossed her arms, " I am sorry this is taking a toll on your personal life." General Kirigan shrugged, " My relationship with Irina was more physical than anything else. I was clear with her from the start that she should not hope for more and that one day, it would end. It seems she has forgotten that conversation". Kara hesitated. She had not been expecting to have such a personal conversation with the darkling. Did he need to talk about it? She decided to see by asking a question. " Is it harder when you are a century old, to consider a relationship?". He frowned, surprised. " What do you mean?". Kara wrestled for the right words. " I could imagine, if I had all the time in the world, that I would struggle with connection. If everything is short lived, does it become stale with repetition? Or is it disheartening because every loved one will leave you in the end?". The general was amused, " Are we to have a philosophical debate on how longevity will change your perception of life?" Kara chuckled, " and why not? You are much older than I. I'm just curious. Humour me".
The general hesitated, " We Grisha can live to be over a century old. It can be a form of curse when we befriend or love. When we lose someone, the pain lasts for a longer span of time." Kara nodded, compassionate. " And what about you? I've heard speculations that you might be older than most Grisha". The general answered, " My ancestors and I who share the gift of shadow summoner do indeed have a longer lifespan. For my part, I think love, or wanting someone is a weakness. Not only will I suffer if I lose the person. The person I would love could be used against me". Kara looked at him softly. " I can imagine with your power and reputation, some would be keen to find a weakness to manipulate you".
The general wanted to shift the conversation. he was uneasy when discussions concerned him personally. " What about you?," he teased, his eyes shining, " What is love to you?". Kara thought about it seriously, " To feel like someone else understands you, wishes the best for you and wants to build a life with you? It is one of the most beautiful things one can experience. However, it can also be disappointing. For it to work, both have to invest. If it is only a one-sided effort, it can lead to a lot of suffering". The general understood, " You speak from experience?". She scowled, " No one would want of an orphan army healer as a wife. However, I have loved a few men in my lifespan. Even if they ended, I do not regret the time with them. It has made me grow and more certain of what I want".
It was a habit for the general to know what motivated the people around him. It is how he survived until now. However he found he also was curious to know more about this brilliant healer, with no ulterior motive. " What would you want now?". She blushed and straightened, " Enough small talk general. Why did you summon me?". The darkling saw that it would be hard to get to know her. It was fair, considering he did not reveal much on his part. He liked the challenge. " I thought I told you to call me Alexhander". She smiled, " Fine, Alexhander, we are a week away from the ball. I imagine you wanted to discuss details?". He invited her to sit in one of the plush black chairs in front of the fireplace, " Yes, I wanted to go over the event as you are unfamiliar with it." he sat down and poured them a glass of hot tea. " The prince's ball will be composed of a toast or speech from the king, a dance and then a game in the gardens with a prize for the winner. If we are to give the impression that we are infatuated, we will have to spend time together during these different moments."
The Darkling crossed his fingers, " I suggest that we begin during the toast, where will try to catch each other's eyes even if we are far across the room. let them guess that we are looking to spend time together. Then, I will ask you to dance with me, several times to make my intentions clear to those around us. Then, in the gardens, we will not participate in the game but we will hide in plain sight as I kiss you." Kara blushed, " Is kissing necessary?". Alexhander shook his head, " If we want it to be loud and clear that the king should not approach you, then we have to be very clear in our message. A kiss seems to be necessary". He grinned, " I will not push you farther than you are comfortable, but if we are too subtle, the king will not catch on and leave you alone". He cocked his head to the side, " Do you happen to know what to wear?". Kara shook her head. The general stroked in chin, " You cannot wear a kefta which is reserved for Grisha, that is certain. however, if you wish, you may wear black which is my color. Our message will only be clearer that way".
He pointed to a leather pouch on the table, " You may take what you need in coins to find something appropriate. I doubt you will be able to afford a nice dress on a classic military salary. There is a dress code depending on class. Considering your ,if I am not mistaken, absence of knowledge concerning your origins, you should find something which is not too expensive and simple in design. That way you will not vex a poorer relation to the king". Kara nodded and headed to the table to grab the pouch of coins. It seemed heavy and she hoped she would not have to spend too much of it. " Thank you for your generosity. I will try to spend as little as possible." He stood up to follow her, " Try not to be too frugal. I wouldn't want people to think I cannot gift a lover with nice clothes for an event. Being nicely dressed is also representative of power. Power is protection". Kara huffed in frustration, " How will I know between too richly dressed and too poorly dressed then?". The darkling chuckled, " take Ania with you. She has been to a few of these events and should provide good advice".
Indeed, Once Kara took leave of the general, she strolled to the Small Palace infirmary. Ania had been named head healer as a reward for handling the absence of her mentor on the northern front. With that came new responsibilities at the palace. She was expected to spend more time with the palace healers. Ania chuckled once she heard of Kara's request. " I'm going to have a girl shopping session with an Otkazat'sya? Who would have thought!". She agreed and said she could spare a moment the following morning. The next morning was a nightmare. A lot of what Kara found pretty did not correspond to the dress-codes. The dresses where either too low on the neckline for an unmarried woman, or too dark in color, or two expensive or too cheap. By noon, they had visited almost a dozen shops to no avail. " This is impossible!", huffed Kara is despair. Ania giggled" It doesn't help that you are picky in your taste for dresses. I showed you that yellow one remember?". Kara has murderous eyes, " It would have made me look like a new born chick. That does not suit me".
Ania rolled her eyes, " well then, let's look at some more shops then. I warn you, I have to be back in the palace by mid-afternoon". A worn down sign caught Kara's attention. It seemed to be an shop of old military clothes. A dress in a dark muted shade of green stood near the entrance. Ania sighed, " Kara please, that's too dark! you are neither married or widowed. You should go for pastel colors!". Kara stepped into the shop to look closer at the dress. The dress was formal, the neckline falling onto the collarbones. It showed a little skin but not enough to be scandalous. The sleeves where three-quarters long and fell mid fore-arm and flared open. The dress was tight-fitting around the chest and thigh and fell in folds around the feet. touching it, Kara could tell it was made of good quality cotton. An idea started to form in Kara's mind. Ania wrinkled her nose at the dress, " The style is out of fashion Kara". Kara went to the shopkeeper who looked like a ruffled sparrow, " I'd like the dress near the entrance please with some white ribbon and cotton, black embroidered lace and a sewing kit". Kara was relieved to have found a dress. She had also added some muted green slippers which she had salvaged from the back of the shop. She pulled a disheartened Ania to a jewelry shop where she bought some small and discreet black earrings.
Ania was curious, " You're going to modify that dress? You know how to sew?" Kara winked " ridiculous question to ask a surgeon expert. The hermit I grew up with made me sew clothes again and again saying it was good practice for closing up wounds". Ania shook her head, " good luck in finishing up the dress in time. You only have 4 days until then". Kara shrugged, "I'll pull one or two late nights and I'll manage."
Indeed Kara quickly realized the work ahead of her to modify the dress. The week was even more intense. The day she worked on her future lessons .Evenings and late nights were focused on sewing and mending. The dress was ripped in several places on the hem and Kara knew it would be difficult to sew fine enough to be invisible. She thought over what Ania had mentioned saying it was too dark a color. So she thought to use the rips to her advantage. She cut the dress along the rips towards the thighs and thought to folds and sew the hem higher. She would have to add an another layer of dress underneath to avoid showing any skin above the ankle. The next day, she went again to the same shopkeeper and bought a pale white colored fabric. That night, she added the new fabric underneath the green dress. It appeared in the folds and cuts of the dress, so that the bottom half appeared like an upturned flower, starting to bloom.
It would appear more proper considering the intricate dress-codes. She added a thin black embroidered lace around the flares of the cuffs on the arms and a piece around the neckline as well as on the new hem of the dress. As a reminder of her healers position in the army, she added two white strips of ribbon on her left forearm. After 4 days of hard work, the dress was ready. Kara was tired and hoped to get a good night sleep before the ball. The shadows under her eyes would not do on such a formal occasion. The only detail she was uncomfortable with was her hair. Her shoulder length dark blond hair would be difficult to style or pin into anything elaborate. She would have to make do with a ribbon to tie it back as best she could.
The next afternoon, the palace was bustling with activity. The cook was especially grumpy when Kara came to grab a breakfast and she was pushed out briskly out of the kitchen. The servants were busy cleaning the last elements of the palace that had been forgotten the previous days. The stables had been washed and scrubbed to welcome the carriages and horses arriving that evening. Grisha capable of summoning air were requested to help levitate the heavy chandeliers to decorate the ballroom and reception hall. Other Grisha summoners were practicing intricate shapes and figures of water and fire as entertainment, requested by the king. Irina was practicing with another summoner in making waves of water coming out of a fountain when Kara passed by heading to her room to prepare for that evening. She had tended to a gardener who had cut his hand, trying to tidy up the last bushes in a hurry. Suddenly, Kara felt a cold and wet sensation as a part of the summoned water from the fountain leaped to drench her cloths and hair. Kara twirled around to see both Irina and her friend laughing, very proud of their stunt. Irina feigned a sorry face, "Oops, I didn't see you there. I can be so clumsy sometimes". Kara glared, knowing full well it had been done on purpose. How else could they explain that the distance between her and the fountain was impeccably dry? Irina had intentionally targeted Kara. Kara bit back a vindictive retort and forced herself to smile," Thank you lady, you're splash has cooled me down nicely. Nothing that won't dry at some point". Irina's face flushed in anger but she held her tongue. She knew very well that revenge is best eaten cold.
The healer headed straight to the small extension behind the bedroom which held a bathtub and basin. she grabbed a clean towel to dry her hair. She shivered, the water had been cold. It was pride which had made her hold back a yelp of surprise when Irina had drenched her wet. She was making an enemy for the sake of a shadow summoner she could not read. He was intelligent and seemed kind enough, but he had a reputation of yielding to violence when his authority was questioned. He seemed to care but at the same time his disdain for the ungifted was a given.
She sighed and undressed, very conscious that staying in wet clothes could mean catching a cold. She would not give Irina the satisfaction of being seen with a red nose and watery eyes the following day.
She washed up quickly from a basin. She still did not understand the practice of taking a bath. What a waste of water and time she thought. As she wrapped the different layers of her dress on her body, Kara realized that she was afraid. She felt flung into a game to which she did not know the rules. Dancing was not something she knew how to do. The hermit she had grown up with had thought village parties a waste of precious time. During the following years of world traveling, she had marveled at those who could sway their bodies to a rhythm, but too shy to join in.
She finally looked up at the mirror and was surprised at her reflection. The dress was indeed out of style and of an odd color but it was hers. It hugged her forms in the right way. The white cotton underneath the green upper layer softened the stern military look. The black lace was subtle enough and yet visible to make people wonder what she meant by it. The opening at her shoulders attracted the eye and pointed to the fact that she was unmarried. Most would be bewildered and kept wondering as to who she was. It was original. She would have to wear it proudly, or appear a crazy fool. She had pinned back her blond hair in a simple manner. With just a stroke of black coal oil on her eyelids and black drops as earrings and she was ready. She soon heard a knock on her door just as she finished putting away her soldier's uniform to clean. As she opened the door a fraction ajar, she saw that Alexhander was waiting calmly at the door. Through the narrow opening, he could only see Kara's pale face looking back at him. He smiled gently, " Are you ready?".