Aaaaand we're back. Sorry for the late update, school has started and it's hectic! A warm, warm welcome to the new reader once you get here 3 glad to have you on board. To everyone else, thank so much for sticking with me this long. The next update may not be for a month or two, but this arc is over and there's not too long before the end. Hope it was at least a little fun!
The racket over the phone died down after a few minutes, letting Lenalee put the receiver up to her ear again.
"Oh, I'm so glad you're okay," her brother's voice sighed behind layers of noise. "Don't leave me hanging like that again, okay?"
"I promise," she said patiently.
"I know, I know, you can't always get to the phone, but it's hard waiting here! I didn't know if you guys were dead or alive or—"
"It's okay. I understand."
"Yeah," she heard her brother say quietly.
Lenalee's eyes wandered the room for something to focus on. She could picture Komui so clearly that she kept trying to find him right in front of her, where there wasn't anything but a window. So she looked through it, squinting to see the table where her team were eating a quiet breakfast. Except for Daisya. There weren't many others in the dining room, so his babbled thoughts and broad gestures filled the place up like the thin sunlight.
"But you have to come back home quickly!" Komui picked himself back up like he always did. "Reever's been missing you, he can't even get to the bottom of his desk anymore and everyone keeps asking me where you've gone. I can't keep saying it's classified!"
She wished she could feel sorrier. Maybe she would have told the truth if it weren't a warm day with lemon-leaved trees surrounding her.
"Um," she said, "I don't know if the Noah is following us. It's able to disguise itself."
"What? You're in danger? Lenalee, remember, don't talk to strangers, always travel in pairs, don't go out without your hood. And make sure you have a password! Something only you four would know, or…"
"It's not hunting," she cut off. "Kanda said she let him and Daisya go. I think it must be following to see if we lead it back to the order."
"Oh."
Daisya waved at her through the window, cocking his head to the side mid-chew. She shook hers as an answer. It wasn't like she was lying. Marie agreed, there wasn't any reason the Noah should have let them live if it didn't have some kind of use for them. If they weren't dead, it had to have some other use for it.
"Are you sure? We can recall Tiedoll and Klaud," Komui said worriedly. "They're—"
"No. They have to have thought of that when they planned this," she said. "So long as we stay out here, it won't have anything to do."
"I know," her brother sighed. "Please, please promise me you'll be safe?"
She watched Daisya scraping his second bowl with a wooden spoon. He overbalanced trying to scrape his porridge into his mouth, nearly falling off the bench if Marie didn't catch him by the hood.
"I will be," Lenalee said. "You know Kanda won't let anything happen to me."
"He'd better not!"
That was as close as she'd get to an agreement. He didn't like it, but her brother had learned a long time ago that she would survive when nobody else did. He should be worrying about Daisya if he knew anything. He probably was.
Just not as much.
Nobody had room for everything in their life. Nobody could bear all of that.
She gave Daisya a thumbs-up and a grin, which he gave back. They'd be able to get to Bodrum if they hurried. Schedules had been easier to move ever since Komui got forced into administration after the higher-ups' latest blowout. From wherever he gave them, she was sure they could divert a few days.
"All right, all right," muttered Komui, "What have we got…"
"Marie wants to go southeast. It could snow if we stay north."
"I agree. There is…a lot…of backlog here, give me a second—ah! Report from east Austria. It's a few weeks old, so you'll have to hurry."
"The flood has lasted a while. I'm sure it's not the worst delay," she reassured him.
"Oh, yes, yes that makes sense! Why didn't I think of that? Are you close to the train, or should I call one of the Finders to send you something?"
At least Austria was well-connected. They could make good time there and move directly through Budapest to Turkey without wasting time taking horse carts down rutted Russian roads.
Lenalee nodded and chatted as her brother tried to give her the mission and check up on her health at the same time. After he'd finished the meal, Marie came outside to help with logistics.
It was odd. Daisya had been a part of her life for a long time. He knew some things only Kanda and her brother had seen. They trained together most days they were out base, heading out to the wide courtyard to kick around a football around. In all that time he'd told her about his family. Each time, though, he'd been careful to say he didn't miss them, that he'd never go back there.
Now he wanted to return.
Would he leave? It might be enough to know he was there and safe. The Order couldn't force him to stay if he'd joined of his own free will. There was nothing you could blackmail him with or threaten. But she'd never see him again if he stayed, not for years. Would that be better than dying?
It wasn't her choice. She'd keep him close as ever if it was. Each of her friends, she did all she could to hold on to them whether she liked it or not. How could he leave without telling her? How could he let himself get lost? As happy as she'd felt seeing him again, she would have crushed him up and put him in her pocket. No one else would smile and tell her something that was so stupid it made her forget everything for a moment.
They would go to Bodrum. She would take him to the one place where he could save himself. She might hate him if he did.
…
Daisya dragged his feet in the sand while the gulls screamed at him. It reminded him of Mom.
"Welcome to sunny Bodrum," he said. "It's not sunny."
Nobody listened to him, of course. Lenalee and Marie were admiring the coast and the stirring waves and Kanda didn't care about any of it. Smart guy.
The clouds were low and bruised on the bottom, shifting up and over them like they were walking underwater. They had good timing. It only rained once or twice a year here and the air was ripe for it. While they walked, a wind had blown up that was pushing the waves into whitecaps. A little sliver of sunlight cut at just the right angle to hit the chalky rock of the cliffs and light them up. It was like the sky was black and the light was only coming from inside the sand.
He had to admit, it looked cool. It was about the only time it ever did. Thank god it was winter.
"I thought you wanted to come here," said Kanda next to him.
"I did," he said. "I just don't want to be here. So what d'you think?"
Kanda just shrugged.
They tracked along the beach hesitantly. Marie and Lenalee were drifting ahead of them like they didn't want to leave them behind, but couldn't force themselves to go that slow. The wind had time to get a lot colder before they made it up to where the old man liked to paint.
"This is what everyone comes to see, you know, so have a look," he said to himself. "Mom's probably going to ask if I showed you."
He scuffed the ground with a foot.
"I'm sure it's beautiful," Marie said.
Hah. He knew it was nothing special, he was just here for the trip. He tried not to think about Lenalee. She looked out across the bay with eyes that Daisya didn't want to meet.
"Want me to describe it?" he asked, ignoring Kanda's snort.
"Please try to do it justice," said Marie.
The heavy clouds made the glare even worse than a clear day. How did that work? Daisya squinted hard at the scene as he tried to figure out what would make sense to tell him, since he wasn't going to be here again. This wasn't the place he knew, it just happened to be in Bodrum too. No heat, pale sand instead of golden, and a low sky that sat down on the town like a blanket.
"So, there's a town with plaster walls. Most of the buildings here are square, they've got flat roofs, people built them right down to the beach. The beach is curved around a little bay, it's flat by the town but up here we're about thirty feet above the water. You can go diving here in the summer. It's shallow, so you have to to be careful. The waves are also higher around the cliffs since there's some rock underwater."
He felt his nerves buzzing as his body remembered each time he'd flown headfirst down into something that could have killed him. Everyone else jumped, he was the only one who dived off the top.
"That doesn't sound safe."
"But it's no fun if it's easy! Anyway, the sky and sea are usually bright blue, which makes the sand look gold. It's actually light brown. Today the sea looks like pencil lead and the sky is sort of like purple-grey watercolours."
That should do. Poor Marie, he should've just told him it looked good. Not everyone liked to see the town when it looked like a corpse. But he was smiling! Who knew what he was thinking, Marie always acted like he was a few steps ahead.
Someday Daisya would learn how he did it.
"Should we go into town? It's getting late, we should probably have something to eat," said Lenalee.
Daisya was about to agree when a gust hit him full in the face. The wet air was hard enough to slow him. If he stayed out here any longer, his face would go numb and he'd be too tired to eat, barely able to drag himself back to the cheapest bed in town to sleep.
"You guys go in."
"You won't?" asked Marie.
"Nah," he said. I'll meet you later."
"It's a good soundscape."
Lenalee translated for Marie, though she didn't need to. "We'll follow you."
…
He stopped by the shop at Marie's insistence. Daisya tried to just stay at the inn the whole day, but Kanda said people would recognize him in such a small town and Lenalee said he should see his family. What were friends good for, if they just tried to get you home for breakfast? At least he'd had a night's sleep.
And they hadn't even come with him. They were all clustered in the street outside attracting weird looks while he got sent to knock on the back door. It was the off season, so the shop would open late and his family would be eating breakfast. Mom wasn't going to be happy getting up in the middle of it to answer the door.
He breathed in. He breathed out. His pulse was jittering under his skin like a beached fish and he was sweating in the cold, wet air.
He knocked on the bleached wood door.
There was warm light bleeding out from under it and sounds from inside. No one answered.
Daisya knocked again. There was a bell above the door, shaped like a bell, not round. They'd replaced it.
"Mom!" he shouted, in Turkish. "I'm just going back to the inn, see you tomorrow."
He waited again. Hah. Now they were scrambling, his mom was yelling something it took him a few seconds to understand. He was rusty. But the language never left him.
God, the seconds he spent standing here were worse than when he was actually dying. He waited the few seconds in the dark just shaking. Why'd they all run off around the corner? That was the whole reason they came here together! Kanda said he wouldn't be alone.
He was alone now.
Then the door opened. His mother, greyer, older, looked him up and down. Bandages. Uniform. His nose was longer. Then she hugged him so tight he would have choked if he didn't brace himself. Over her shoulder, he saw Dad and the kids half-sitting at the dinner table around a pot of lentil stew. Then, he realized he hadn't hugged her back. He did.
"How long are you here?" Dari called from inside.
"Like two days," he said.
"You can help out in the shop!"
"Now, now," Dad said. "We shouldn't make your brother work, he has his own job."
"Actually, I've got time off," he gasped. Mom was still holding on tight.
"Mom, you should probably let go of him," Dana said.
Thank god she did, Daisya could barely stay on his feet when he stumbled away. He brushed himself off a bit for show. Now, to sell them on the dinner guests.
"Marie and Kanda and Lena are all here too," he said. "It's a lot of mouths, so…we'll just eat at the inn, if you don't—"
"Don't be stupid, you're staying here," Mom announced. "Todd, Dari, make up your room for guests. You'll be on Dana's floor tonight."
"But mom—"
"Hey!" said Daisya. "Don't act up in front of the guests."
They rolled their eyes at him and headed up the stairs.
…
The door shut on Marie and Lenalee, with Daisya still waving goodbye. Mom and dad were showing them the sights, Kanda was who-knew-where, and he'd begged off to help Dol and Dari sort through the stores.
Thank God, who Daisya wasn't sure really was involved here. There were too many people around these days. He'd had to do his morning prayers properly for the first time in ages, and mom got on his case about it. And Dana woke him up early, yelling at Dol. And dad had called him "Dari" twice. Breakfast was nice. It was some fun to look at all the little nooks and crannies in the shop, where he'd carved his initials. But there were too many people who kept small-talking and he'd been ready to slit his wrists by the time he finally escaped to his room last night. At least mom let him have it to himself.
He turned back to his brothers. The storeroom was full of all sorts of junk and trinkets, dust, interesting things. Perfect. Plenty of stuff to do. Plus, he didn't have to stick to boring subjects.
"So what's actually going on around here?" he asked.
Two empty heads turned up from a crate of painted tiles.
"What?" asked Dol.
"Not much," said Dari.
They went back to sorting colours as he slid down beside them, quickly counting up piles of ten.
"Come on, there's got to be something. Mom and dad getting a divorce? Someone trying to buy the shop? Near-drownings?" He sounded kind of desperate.
"Nah," said Dol.
"I might start learning accounts? Mom says she wants to retire soon," said Dari.
"Oh, well, that's big news," he said sarcastically.
"What do you want us to say? It's the same as normal," said Dol.
"We're making enough money," said Dari.
That was good. It wasn't like he wanted them all to be unhappy, it was great that things were going well! It was just, well…what did he want them to say? That they'd started selling opium from the plateaus? That they were smuggling Polish revolutionaries down to Egypt? They probably didn't know those were even possibilities! Daisya tallied fifty green and started on the yellow stack.
"So, you'll take over the shop? What's Dana going to do?"
"Oh, she's probably going to take over. Mom's been teaching her everything, they just need a man on the ownership, you know? So that's me," said Dari.
"Dad's been trying to find an apprenticeship for me," said Dol. "I don't know why. I guess I can start making stuff for the shop?" said Dol.
"Hey, it'll be fun! Maybe you can go up to Izmir."
"Stuff's a lot more expensive there," Dol said doubtfully.
"It's a city, you pay more because it's better."
The conversation died when neither of them came up with a good answer. He'd come back after how many years, and they couldn't even ask what he'd done? Where he'd been? He had told them everything in letters, sure, and last night and this morning were all him telling stories, but there was so much more! These guys didn't know what they were missing.
Daisya picked up a small, multicoloured tile and held it up for inspection.
"You ever try to make these into something?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" asked Dari.
His fingers absentmindedly flipped and moved tiles. These were too big for anything good. Colours were nice, though.
"Like a mosaic," he said.
"Oh, sometimes we get Esin to make scenes," said Dol.
"No, I know we stock her stuff. I mean, did you ever want to make something?"
"Of course! We played with them when we were kids, you remember that."
Daisya disassembled the picture again, trying to make the colours stand out against the grey backsides of the tile. If he smashed them, maybe then the shapes would be easier to make. He hadn't even been here ten minutes and his fingers were itching.
"I—yes—agh—so you haven't done anything since then."
"I'd rather go swimming," said Dol. "Come on, put those in a stack, will you?"
…
Kanda paced up and down the shop slowly, watching the shelves for any useful information. They were filled top-to-bottom with trinkets. Clean on top, crammed with last season's stock at the bottom, disorganized and cheap. It wasn't the kind of place he knew. Some memory told him that people bought things here to remember the place. It seemed weird that Daisya's family sold them.
There were mugs, small metal cups, wire frames that looked like mugs, books, postcards, trinkets that didn't serve any purpose he could think of. Useless junk.
He just stared. It gave him something to do while he was waiting. It wasn't like anyone else was here. Him, and shelves that were the same height. This place was bare. It could burn to the ground and nothing would be lost. Everything was covered in grime. Daisya was born here to a mother and a father, he grew up running coins back and forth to the safe and cleaning up after his siblings.
He'd been younger than Kanda ever was, here.
Daisya said he hated it. He complained about everything. Kanda remembered all the times he'd whined at him about him. It was stupid. He didn't even mean it, he just did it to pass the time.
He was here.
Daisya would die before he came back.
A splinter ran up the wooden carving in Kanda's hand.
"You'll have to buy that," a voice said behind him.
He whipped around.
Standing at the end of the aisle was a girl. Choppy hair. Skinny. His throat caught, but her hair was brown. Daisya's sister. Did he ever tell him her name? Kanda wouldn't remember anyway.
But the Noah changed shape. Was this her? He couldn't hear steps in the street outside. Marie and Lenalee were long gone, Daisya wasn't here. The figure in his hand shook.
The Noah didn't have to hurt him to win, he told himself. It had let him go. It could have kept him. The girl in front of him was a human and scratching her acne. It was a stupid place to be scared.
"I heard it crack," the girl said. "That's damaged goods. You'll have to pay for it."
He handed over the lire coins. He didn't remember getting them out. The whole time the girl was staring at him, squinting like Daisya did. He didn't say anything about it. He didn't say anything. There wasn't anything to say. They'd been travelling without uniforms to hide from the Noah. The rose crest was hidden underneath this jacket.
"Kanda?" the girl asked.
His arm twitched, staying stuck to his side. "What?"
"We don't get tourists this time of year," she said. "But you look familiar. Do you know my brother?"
It would be easy to say something. He didn't.
"Daisya. He's an exorcist. You're one, aren't you?" she asked.
Kanda nodded, watching for any movement further, but the girl stayed lazily still.
"You could just say 'yes.'"
He wrenched his mouth open. "Why did you know me?"
The girl shrugged. "Daisya writes home a lot. He gets bored, so he just writes letters when he doesn't have anything to do."
"Yeah, that's him," he said, shifting his weight. "Not me."
"Well he talks about you! There's Kanda, General Tiedoll, Lenalee, Marie, Komui, Jerry, a lot of you. You seem like Kanda. Is Daisya here?"
Kanda finally relaxed. "He's doing inventory."
"He is? And mom didn't tell me?"
"You can go if you want."
The girl straightened one of the displays. It didn't look any better, but she seemed proud of it. She was treating the shop like it was hers already.
"I'll go later," she said. "Are you really that strong?"
"What?"
"Daisya said you could lift these shelves no problem."
He shrugged. "I'm strong."
"Can you lift me?"
He had the sinking feeling this was turning into a conversation. He could deal with questions. Talking was different. She didn't know him, he'd just make her upset and then her mom would get mad. He edged toward the door as she followed him through the ugly, dusty shelf maze.
"Why?"
"To prove it," the girl said simply.
"No."
"Why?"
He paused. "I don't want to."
Then the girl started laughing. No wonder Daisya left home. If he had to deal with three of them…
"Daisya's right, you are mean!"
If he walked away, she might get bored and go pester her brother. That was how you head to deal with them. Once you started talking, they'd never leave you the other ones like this? It took months to get used to Daisya. He didn't have room for any more.
Kanda spotted an opening and slipped through, leaving the shop by the next row of shelves.
"Hey, wait!"
He kept walking.
"Where are you going?" The girl caught up, skipping along beside him. "Are you meeting Marie and Lenalee? I'm coming with!"
"No," he said.
"Aw, come on. At least let me come along," she said hopefully.
He sped up as he turned a corner, trying to outrun her. It would be hard to lose her in her own hometown. The only option was to get her out of breath.
"You should stay at the shop."
"Mom's going to close it anyway if Daisya's back, it's not like anyone ever comes in there anyway. There's nothing worth stealing."
The girl was keeping up. If he broke into a run, then she'd start chasing him down. You couldn't let them know they were hunting you. He just hoped she wasn't as fast as Daisya.
"Is Daisya coming back? Like, for good? He keeps saying he never will but I know he misses us, otherwise he wouldn't write so many letters. Right?"
"Tch."
"Hey, I'm asking you!"
There was no escape as they wrapped around buildings, through empty shops and down toward the waterfront.
"Why?"
"Because I don't know, dumbass."
"He's your brother," Kanda snapped.
"He left when I was just a kid! I don't know what he's like. Besides, if I've grown up, he probably changed too. Is he coming home for good?"
It would be better if she asked any other question.
"I don't. know."
"Because if he does, I think mom's going to give him the shop. Dari and Dol can't make any decisions so they can't take over, and I'm 'too young' and she and dad want to retire or stop doing so much work. Wait. Hey! What do you mean you don't know? Didn't you come here with him?"
"Shut up!" he shouted.
"Geez, I'm just asking."
He just wished he was somewhere else, with someone else, who didn't keep asking the questions that he'd been avoiding. No wonder Daisya couldn't stand her, she was just like he'd been when Tiedoll dragged him in.
"Ask him," he muttered.
"But I'm already all the way out here."
"Then go back."
Then she reached out and grabbed him on the arm the way her brother did. Kanda froze up before he could shake her off, he didn't know why, but now he was standing still on the sand.
"Can I ask you something first? Please?"
He didn't answer.
"Can you tell him not to stay here?"
"What? Why?" he squinted suspiciously.
"So that he stays! Man, you're slow."
The girl let him go, frowning as she kicked up the sand.
"That's stupid," said Kanda.
"No, no, it's smart! Mom said he never does what he's told so, if you tell him not to, he will!" she whined.
"I'm not saying anything."
"What? But you promised!"
"I didn't," he said.
"Okay," the girl muttered. "You're a hardass, I get it."
Kanda set his teeth. They were almost at the edge of town. He just had to keep his temper long enough to leave, and she'd realize how far they were and run back. Just a few more metres. "I don't care where he goes. He can do what he wants."
"Great! If you don't care, then you don't care if he quits. Tell him not to."
"No."
"Then you do—"
"No!"
That looked like it got through. The girl flinched. She didn't cry, she just looked angry. Good.
"Fine," she huffed. "He likes me better, anyway!"
"I don't care."
The girl stuck her tongue out at him, stopping where she was while he kept walking. Marie wouldn't worry if he was back late.
…
Loping over the loose ground, Kanda cleared the distance of the cold beach. The waves crashed up on the cliffs as he hiked past dead clumps of grass and the ghosts of shrubs. He'd promised to come here, but he didn't say he'd stay. Standing around while Daisya had his sappy moments with family was a stupid waste of time. He'd rather be out here.
Daisya couldn't stay still. He'd start humming, folding paper, writing. Talking, if anyone else was there. Five minutes. That's all it took before he complained or found something to do.
Cresting the hill, Kanda went right to the cliff's edge. He stepped up to where he started to feel the dirt give out. When he looked straight to the horizon there was no ground. The only reminder was a thrill whenever the patch he stood on slipped. Not enough grass to keep it bound to the cliff. He'd fall eventually.
That kind of boredom wasn't something Kanda knew. The way Daisya explained it when Kanda gave up on keeping him quiet, it was like there was something in him struggling to break out of his skin. There was nothing like that for him. He was empty. Someone made a body and put part of a soul in it. There was empty space in him. It felt like he'd swallowed air. He didn't need to talk or sing. He needed to limp out here where there wasn't anyone to remind him of it and just wait for the ache to stop. When nothing was human, he didn't feel wrong.
The wind soughed around him and made a noise like Daisya blowing across the top of a glass bottle.
He'd never understood this, either. Marie and Lenalee were the same as Kanda. Lenalee filled herself up with people. Marie could even heal himself. Slowly. Kanda didn't see the point. No one had ever taken anything away from him. He'd been made empty. There wasn't anything to patch over or fill up.
Turning, he crouched at the edge and sank a hand into the dead stalks. With that grip he slipped his feet from under him, kicking footholds into the dirt as he climbed slowly down, spilling sand.
Daisya was going to die. He'd finally realized it. Nothing Kanda did had ever made him learn that. It felt bad, that it had to be a Noah who taught him. And Daisya said he needed to come here. Even if he denied it, it was obvious he just wanted a way out. Good luck didn't exist. He was an Exorcist. He was dead from the day he started. This was his last chance to live.
Why had the old man picked him up? He knew there was only one way things could go. Why couldn't he just leave that whiny, snot-nosed kid where he found him? And if he had to pick him up, why did Kanda ever have to meet him?
Skidding down, Kanda finally landed on the outcrop that marked the end of the beach. He stepped between slick stones without thinking about it. He just watched the water.
He breathed. It was hard to meditate without time alone. He breathed again, matching it to the waves.
He didn't know how much time passed like that. The days were so dark that sunset didn't mean anything. He just stopped thinking. He didn't even feel cold. The wind became solid around him. He was standing in the rock, resting until some loud hobbyist came to chisel him out. His body wouldn't decay like normal. It wasn't made from human things.
He opened his mouth, and air flowed into his empty body.
…
Daisya stretched luxuriously, getting out the knots and cracks built up over long hours hunched on the floor.
"I'm going to check the log at the stable, wanna come with?" asked Dari. From the look on his face, he didn't want him to tag along. He was just being nice.
"Nah, I'm good. Run along little kids."
"Fuck off," Dol muttered.
Hoisting one of the reject crates, Daisya left the two of them muttering while he tried to find the junk pile. They put it out front in winter, didn't they? Anyone could come and grab what they wanted. When Dari and Dol were old enough they'd knocked out a wall in the main house that was throwing him off. It should be this door here—
It took a few runs to get everything out and stacked. The shop out front was empty, he could've sworn Dana was watching it, but it wasn't like there was anything worth stealing. Today was lighter than yesterday but just as cloudy, nothing cast a shadow on the whitish walls.
Well. Everyone was out. He'd finished his work. He should stay here and man the decks.
He looked right. He looked left. And it was a good thing he hadn't run away, because Mom and Dad were coming back and happily talking with Marie and Lenalee. He'd absolutely been watching the shop.
From the look of things, Marie had it handled. Mom was impressed at him managing to keep them all in line, never mind that Daisya was old enough to take care of himself, and they were both happy to talk to another girl about what Dana might want to be doing at her age. Hah. Dana wasn't anything like Lenalee, she didn't like to play or anything.
He lied about where Dana was on instinct, kicked a broken statuette under a shelf and let Mom and Dad set the guests back down in the kitchen. He snuck around while that was going on, waiting in hallway where Mom would pass by. Just a few minutes.
"Hey, mom?"
"Hm? I'm in the middle of something, if you haven't noticed."
"Yeah, I was just going to go out."
Peeling off from the wall, he followed her to the cupboard where she kept the good tea. It'd been a secret when he'd lived here, but she didn't even notice.
"Get your sister while you're there, she shouldn't have gone with those two."
"Sure. Uh, mom?"
Daisya fidgeted. He didn't even notice until Mom glared at him.
"What?"
"Do you want me to come back?" he asked.
Bad question. He regretted it as soon as he asked it, but if she had guests to get back to she'd have to make it quick.
"Daisya, what are you saying?"
"I could. It's not like they're keeping me there," he said.
"Hm? Oh, is that why you visited? I was wondering, you've never talked about it before," she said.
She stuck the waxed bag into her apron and took out some dried fruit as well. Nothing out of the ordinary.
"Actually," he stammered, "I don't. Want to stay here. I just thought that I should ask. Before I go again."
"The shop's been doing well, we've got space for you to live if you'd like."
"But you don't want me to," he tested.
His mother shrugged, moving back down the hallway. They had about 30 seconds left before the conversation was done.
"I don't see why you would. You weren't happy here, I remember you were clear about that."
"Yeah. Good. Okay. Uh, thanks, mom."
"Don't thank me, it was that man that gave you the job."
"No, I mean—" He grabbed her arm. "Thanks for letting me go."
The last thing he'd seen in the dream was slowly fading now that he'd seen Mom. The real one replaced the fake one. Maybe he'd left, but he hadn't abandoned them.
"What's gotten into you?" she asked, but there wasn't anything behind it. How could she know?
"Hey, maybe I've grown up!" he joked. "I'll come back in time for dinner."
Putting an arm out awkwardly, he gave her a quick hug before running for the door. As he left, he heard her calling after him.
"Don't forget your sister!"
"I got it!"
Running out the door, he shifted into a comfortable gait. Blood hummed in his ears.
The sand sent shooting pain up his ankles as he ran over it. It felt good. Even as the wind blew against him he tried to beat it and run faster, eyes streaming, and he almost got up to full speed by the time the sand got harder and turned to the loose dirt of the hills.
As he hit the slope his breath ran out and he climbed, sinking into each step as he tried to get there faster. Cloak, boots, bandages came off while he was slowed down. Almost there. Nothing else mattered but the speed. His legs carried him over the crest and didn't slow down as he cleared the top. With a bound he sailed over the spot where he knew the rocks would be and tensed, diving into the deep pool where the ocean wore away the floor. The water shocked the air from his lungs but he'd been ready, always been ready, and he swam back to the surface without falling under the waves. He was strong enough.
Gasping down a breath, he wiped his eyes and blinked them open, treading in place.
His breath ran out again.
Kanda was standing on the rocks ink-black against the cliff's edge, looking as surprised as Daisya felt. Neither of them said anything, though that was because Daisya didn't have any wind left.
Well, that changed things. He struck out for the beach, straining against the backdraft to ride the waves in. A few minutes were past by the time he made it back up to the cliff path. Enough time for Kanda to get up there.
"You sulking?" he asked.
"Tch."
"Don't know what you're complaining about, people pay to come here."
"Your sister."
"Ah. I get it, you should've said."
Daisya was shivering in the wind, hopping from one foot to the next.
"Why did you get wet in the first place?" Kanda asked him. "You knew it was cold."
"Yeah, but—I've done it before—and it wasn't—so bad," he stammered. "I just need to get back in."
On cue, another gust whistled by and made him shiver to the bone. The adrenaline was wearing out quick.
"So you're staying."
"What?"
Kanda shrugged, watching the horizon without any kind of glare. Waves were spilling into his ears so loud he barely made out the answer on the cold clifftop.
"Your sister thinks you're back for good."
"What are you—talking about? Why would I stay? There's nothing here!" he laughed. "I'm saying goodbye."
Out of the corner of his eye he watched something flash over Kanda's face that looked like fear, eyes wide and white, but before he could try to read it he felt arms around him. Kanda squeezed him tight enough to break a rib.
And Daisya realized that for once, Kanda felt warm.
Kanda has one fear and it is Teenage Girl.