A/N: Why hello everyone who's made it this far in our journey of insanity and mayhem! We've gotten to Chapter 20! It's been a little crazy getting here, but there's a lot more to go. There isn't a whole lot to say about this chapter at yet. Several important things happen, but NO SPOILERS FOR YOU. Anyways, as always, make sure to let me know what you think, and enjoy!

Chapter 20: On the Road Again (The Railroad That Is)

The next morning, I roused myself as the sun began brightening the eastern horizon over the nuclear and wind scorched wasteland. Something occurred to me as I fell asleep the night before: did they still have the rocket launcher? It wouldn't be the most subtle thing in the world, but I wanted a little more insurance against the Brotherhood than the MacMillan, especially with their air support.

I found it and the spare cartridges sitting in the armory they'd converted Shaun's nursery into. Hefting the weapon, I thought about where I could stash it to keep it away from the Brotherhood's prying eyes, but close enough to get to if I needed it. Carrying the thing with me, along with the sniper, my combat rifle, and a handgun would be far too unwieldy. The biggest risk would be when I pulled the kids out of Diamond city and snuck them up here-

Oh shit. I'd forgotten to ask them about Cassandra, Julian, and Thomas.

The launcher's steel construction meant the mag clamp on my back would finally be useful for something. I secured it, grabbed the half dozen spare rockets, and left the makeshift armory to find Preston.

After a few minutes of searching the small, fortified neighborhood, I found him taking watch in a well shielded house at the southeast corner of the settlement. It was a good position now they had cleared much of the brush that had cluttered the area when I was first here. The firing slots they had built into their armor plates afforded a broad view of the area. It would be difficult for someone to make it to the bridge's south end unnoticed, at least during the day.

"Already heading out", the minuteman asked as I ducked into the house. I noticed him eying the launcher on my back.

"Yes. Do you mind if I take this?"

He shook his head, still looking at the weapon. "No… can I ask why?"

"Insurance."

Preston squinted as a frown spread across his face. "Insurance… you mean if you have to fight the Brotherhood of Steel?"

"When."

The dark skinned man's frown deepened. "When you have to fight them?" I nodded. "Why?"

Why am I going to fight them? Because I won't have a choice, and because if someone doesn't…

"They aren't going to like me double crossing them. Besides, the Brotherhood didn't spend limited resources to come out here just for the Institute."

"Double crossing them?"

"It's a long story."

"Huh. You think they're going to start taking the Commonwealth over?"

I nodded again. "Aggressively."

Preston fell silent again, still studying me. A little doubt joined the curiosity on his face.

"I've heard stories about them, back from the Capital Wasteland. They helped people with the Supermutant problem in the area. Got something called 'Project Purity' up and running that was supposed to clean all the radiation out of the water. Doesn't sound like you're talking about the same people."

"Don't know." I shrugged. "Leadership changes. I know these people, they're fundamentalists."

"Is this one of those things you aren't going to tell me about", he asked, tone dripping with dry sarcasm

A spark of amusement flitted through my gut. "Some of my operations involved Fundie cults. The Brotherhood isn't religious, they aren't that nuanced."

The Minuteman smiled. "Guess not." He began chewing on his lower lip. "I know you don't have a reason to lie about this, but is it possible you got the wrong read on them? I mean, from what they did down in the old capital to what you're saying they're here to do… that's a major switch in less than 10 years."

A lot can happen in a decade.

"They follow whoever is leading."

He took a deep breath. I understand his doubt, I don't have any hard evidence, but I hope he takes the warning.

"I hope you're wrong, we were all kinda excited when we heard about them, but we'll be careful." He shrugged. "We owe you enough to trust you on this."

"Good." I nodded. "Now… I have a favor to ask."

This time the Minuteman's eyes shot wide. "A favor?"

Don't look so damn surprised…

"Yes. There are three kids who lost their parents to Supermutants staying in Diamond City with Nate. Can you take them in?"

"You don't think they'd be safer there?"

"Not with the Brotherhood around."

After another short pause, Preston shrugged. "Sure, we'd all be happy to help. Can always use the extra hands around here too."

As I exhaled, I felt a tension leave my coiled muscles I hadn't realized was there. That's at least one thing that might go right then. Getting those kids away from the Brotherhood would be a massive weight off my shoulders. It wasn't a permanent solution, but it would work for the time being.

"Thank you."

He smiled again. "Any time. You need anything before you leave?" I shook my head. "Well, I'd wait a half hour, if you don't say goodbye to Alexandra before you go, I'll never hear the end of it."

More amusement forced a smile across my face. She was… ardent, maybe even more so than Nate.

"Okay."

Preston chuckled. "Thanks."

I left the Minuteman to his watch and wandered up into the forests behind the settlement. As much as the bunker- Vault Nate had been on ice in tempted me, I didn't have time to figure out how to get inside, let alone explore it.

I let my legs guide me through the sickly looking trees and a few minutes later, I found myself standing at the ravine where I'd killed the first group of Raiders who attacked Sanctuary. The bodies had been removed the day after, but I still saw them, laying in the dirt, blood pouring from the wounds in their heads. There hadn't been many opportunities for me to revisit battlespaces, but the few times I had, I found it… eerie. Leaving dead bodies behind wasn't alien to me, but seeing a place that I'd fought and killed in so peaceful was always strange.

As the sun broke the horizon, it cast the same red glow over everything as it had the morning after the fight. Looking at the scorched forest, visualizing where the bodies had been as I stood over my latest victims, I had the distinct feeling something had changed, but I couldn't place it. I sure as hell didn't regret putting those bastards down, so what was it? Did this have something to do with everything that's happened, everything I've remembered over the past few weeks?

Standing over their apparitions, the answers didn't come. In fact, not much came to mind as the sun's light began fading from deep red, to a dull orange.

I need to go.

A sigh escaped as I turned from the former killing ground and made my way back to the neighborhood to say my goodbyes. As much as I wanted to put everything away, go back to the simplicity of accomplishing the mission, I couldn't, and a larger part of me wanted to keep digging. Something was there, buried under the mountains of built up clutter in my head. Now that I knew it was there, not knowing was even more aggravating than knowing.

Alexandra was sitting with Julian, Sturges, and two of the new citizens I didn't recognize in the carport when I walked back through the settlement, talking over their breakfast. Thinking about it, I hadn't seen Marcy. Was she okay? Alive? She lost everything in the past few months, I know how that can destroy a person.

"You know", she said as I approached, mouth half full of whatever fruit she was eating, "most people wouldn't want to walk all the way back to Diamond City a day and a half after getting here."

I'm not most people.

"Things to do."

I glanced at the two newcomers who were both staring at me with a mixture of curiosity and the customary tepid fear.

"I got that, soldier boy." She motioned to the recoilless gun on my back. "Glad you're taking that thing, I don't think anyone here should use something we can blow ourselves or each other up with."

As Alexandra took another bite, Sturges decided to insert himself into the conversation. "I was thinking about your meet up tomorrow, take Nate with you, he'll probably make working with them a bit easier."

"I planned to."

"Oh yeah? You two start playing nice?"

"For the most part."

The engineer smirked. "What did he have to do to get you to cooperate?"

What did he have to do? I was the one who started that conversation, all he had to do was stop acting like a dumbass.

"Stop making my life more difficult."

"Mmm, considering how impatient you are, that's a pretty broad statement."

I shrugged. He's minimized the pain at this point, and helping him and the kids was… satisfying.

"Well at least you've stopped being a colossal pain in the ass", Alexandra said. "Don't know what he did to you, but you're at least a little less anti-social."

"He almost never stops talking."

"So he's forced you to do it."

"More or less."

Julian chuckled. "If you ask me, I like it."

Hmm… there's an opportunity.

I fixed the teenager in a glare. "I didn't ask you", I said in my best DI voice.

The look of shock, doubt, and unease that flashed across his face was too good. I couldn't stop the laugh.

His cheeks turned red as he heard it, and his mother and Sturges joined me after a short, surprised pause. The other two looked more bewildered than anything else.

"Yeah", Sturges said, taking a few deep breaths, "Nate definitely did something to you."

I shrugged again.

Julian didn't look too thrilled with being the punchline. "Ass."

No one ever accused me of being nice.

"You said you liked it", Alexandra chuckled.

"I don't like being scared for a joke."

Sturges gave him a hard pound on the back. "Don't worry, it means he likes you."

The teenager shot me an irritated glance. "Uh-huh."

As amusing as it was to give the kid shit, I needed to get moving. The longer I hung around here, the more risk Nate and the trio he was protecting was at.

"I'm heading out."

"Try to stop by more often", Alexandra said, "you're a nice break in the monotony."

I don't think you'll want the type of 'break in monotony' I'm going to bring with me if I come back any time soon.

"We'll see."

"Oh that sounded promising, soldier boy."

Something else came to mind as she spoke. What if I brought a fight with me? They've done well fortifying the settlement, but they don't have much manpower. What happens if the Brotherhood finds this place? Or the Institute? Or Gunners?

"Do you have any radios?"

"What, that fancy armor doesn't?"

I shook my head. "Broken."

"Nothing portable", Sturges interjected. "But you might find something in Diamond City." He leaned back and looked into the doorway. "Hey Valentine."

There was a moment of quiet before the groggy reply. "... Yeah?"

"Anywhere to get a radio in the city?"

"No."

"Oh… never mind then." The engineer paused. "Ask Deacon when you see him. They have plenty of that stuff. My radio is set to 123.05 AM."

"Will do."

"And… thanks again."

I nodded before turning to leave. Getting a radio that was capable of handling military frequencies might be invaluable if the Brotherhood doesn't encrypt their comms.

As I left the settlement and began my journey south again, I felt a growing unease surge into the back of my mind. There were too many people I had to worry about, separated by too much travel time. My attention was spreading too thin, especially with the extremely limited resources I have. I need to find a way to secure Sanctuary once the kids are here; they were too much of a distraction, and it might lead to mistakes. That's something I can't afford once I double cross the Brotherhood. I'll have them, Kleo, and the Gunner soon enough, all coming after me. If any of them manage to connect me to this place, it's going to turn into leverage because, contrary to my SOP, somewhere along the line a part of me started caring about these people.

I can't let them suffer for that.

X

"It's just hard for me to imagine you getting something done without me, and you didn't shoot anyone."

I'll remember that the next time you need me to shoot someone.

"I can fix that."

Nate shot me a glare before turning back to the market below. We were in the stadium's stands a few dozen meters above Knight Sergeant Ramirez's shack as the sun cast long shadows across everything, a few minutes from dipping below the city's rim.

"So we're just supposed to wait until he finds us?"

"Or we find him."

"Huh." He didn't look convinced

"Will they be alright here alone?"

The ex-soldier shrugged. "Cassandra seems to know her way around the stadium. Don't know if that will help, but it's something."

"What about Gwen and Ramirez?"

"They're fine, if a little stiff. I'm not worried about them… I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop." He looked back at me. "You know there's no way the Brotherhood doesn't know we're up to something. Maxson's been cooperative, but he isn't dumb. Even if he didn't think we were lying, he'd be preparing contingencies."

I nodded.

"So do you have any? I managed to get Cassandra away from them for a few hours yesterday and I brainstormed a few escape plans. Problem is, with the manpower and equipment they can come at us with, we're relying on slipping out of a very confined space when they can cover us with air support and power armor. Much as I hate to admit it, I'm a soldier, not SF. Sneaking around isn't my game; I shoot what I'm told to shoot."

Contingencies… besides the recoilless gun I stashed in the stands above the city's main entrance, I didn't have much, not for lack of trying. Best I could do with the extremely limited information I have on the Brotherhood's troop deployment, their SOPs, and the stadium's construction is run interference while Nate pulls them out of a side entrance. Problem with that: it would be trivial for the Brotherhood to cover the entire perimeter with the resources at their disposal. It would put them on extremely bad terms with the town, but they probably wouldn't care in that instance.

"No."

Nate frowned. "I expected something."

"Sometimes the best you can do is improvise."

"Well that might work for you, but what about us?"

"You said you're a soldier. Adapt."

The smaller man grumbled, but didn't reply. He knew if I had something, I'd at least hint at it, even if I didn't tell him.

"I will, it's just…" He looked away. "This shit scares me, Damon. What happens if- what if I let them down too?"

I blinked. What do I say to that? I'd guessed he was drawing connections between this and Shaun's kidnapping, but… I didn't expect him to say it.

Nate didn't turn back to me, but I could see the rage on his face. "I can't do that again. Ever."

The pain and loss that flowed under the anger in his voice hit a little too close to my own. Those kids, what happened to them, what would happen if the Brotherhood managed to take them-

I don't want them to end up like me.

The thought felt like a spear driving through my chest. I don't want them to end up like me? What does that mean?

I know exactly what that means.

My eyes drifted to the small shack where the three were eating with Gwen. No, they've already seen and felt the same things I had, I can't let their fear and hatred become a weapon too.

We each have our reasons, but that can't influence how we proceed. I've been letting emotion get in the way too much, and if I'm going to do this, that has to stop.

"We might be able to get radios from the Railroad."

"At least we'll be able to talk without the Brotherhood listening-" The ex-soldier froze mid-sentence. "Radios. Piper." He looked at me. "I have an idea."

Uh oh, the reporter? I motioned for him to continue.

"I guarantee you she knows this place inside and out. She might not be willing to put herself in danger to help, but we can always ask."

If she could give me the place's layout, places to hide, defensible positions, potential escape routes, it would be useful, but how else would she help? Even if Piper decided to take the trio in when shit hits the fan, she isn't a soldier. What could she do?

"The information will be useful."

"I think she can offer more than that?"

I cocked my head. "How so?"

Nate frowned. "Let me talk with her first. Can you watch after the kids for a while?"

"Yeah…"

"Good." He pushed himself away from the railing. "I'll be back."

I almost said something to stop the smaller man as he began toward the stands' staircase, but restrained myself. He has an idea, he knows to be careful, I can let him run with it.

After wrestling my unease into submission, I started after my companion. While he continued down into the market, I made my way through the bleachers toward the shack. There was no conversation drifting from the small, cobbled together building. Usually the three talked constantly through meals.

Swinging the door open, I leaned forward to peer into the cramped interior. Gwen, Cassandra, Julian, and Thomas were sitting around the single room, eating quietly. There was a thick tension in the air that felt as if it was on the verge of breaking. Gwen and Ramirez had made it clear they weren't happy about babysitting, but this was more than that. Were the three of them starting to understand what the Brotherhood had in mind?

They all turned to the sound of the flimsy door squeaking its way open on improvised hinges, and the kids' faces brightened.

"Damon", Cassandra exclaimed. She sounded happy, almost relieved. "Took you long enough." The two young boys looked eager to jump up, but they also had plates on their laps that would fling food everywhere if they did.

The Brotherhood Knight cleared her throat. "Where's Nate?"

"Went down to the market for something."

Gwen squinted at me. "Okay."

"I don't feel like cramming myself in there."

"Sure, sure", she said and nodded at Cassandra.

The teenager leapt to her feet after picking up her food, followed by Thomas and Julian. I moved out of the way as they hurried out of the too small interior and we sat in the stands next to the shack.

"So where'd you go", Julian asked as they started eating again.

And here come the questions. That took no time at all. Oh boy. If I say the wrong thing, this whole operation could be thrown out the window. "To talk with someone about helping Nate."

"With what?"

"The Institute."

"He said something about that, he's got a baby he wants to get back, right?" I nodded. "Are you looking for something too?"

Hmm… How would I explain that? Nate's situation is simple enough, but there's no way I can spin what I'm looking for to make it palatable for them.

"I'm just helping Nate."

"You aren't doing anything about what happened to your family?"

The sudden shock of the memory forced me to stifle a wince. No…? At least, not at the moment. I shook my head hesitantly. I was starting to wish I'd left them in the shack. Sort of.

"Hey Julian", Cassandra interjected, "I think we've had enough questions, finish up eating"

"But- Damon just got back."

She shot me a small smile. "Damon's probably had a long few days. He might want to sleep too. Right?"

The last three days have been easy and I got plenty of sleep, so no I wasn't tired, but if it got me out of any more questions… I nodded.

"See? Come on."

A comically deep frown spread across Julian's face, but he went back to his food. Relative silence fell back over us, with only the bustling sounds of the market below intruding on their dinner. It wasn't the same sort of anxious quiet that filled the shack. The silence was easy, even companionable. Seeing everyone at Sanctuary, how well they were doing, it was a relief. A heady one I hadn't expected. I was… glad they were doing well. And I was relieved we had a place to take the kids where they would probably be safe.

A few minutes of quiet eating later, the three of them had finished. Cassandra was looking out over the collection of cobbled together shacks, an oddly forlorn expression on her face. It brought a question to mind, but how was I supposed to ask it? Did I have any right to? I sure as hell hadn't wanted to talk about my past, so why would she?

While I was lost in thought, she noticed me watching and shot me a questioning look. I shook myself out of my own head. The worst she can do is not answer.

"Where are you from?"

The teenager's frown deepened. "I'm from here."

"Diamond City?"

"No, the Commonwealth."

"Right." It wasn't really an answer, but if she didn't want to talk about it…

"Used to live on a farm with my parents and a few other families to the northeast." She took a deep breath. "We were attacked by Raiders." She fell silent, eyes reaching back toward the mess of shanties and shacks below, but I didn't need her to finish; I'd seen enough.

"You mind if we talk alone for a minute?"

She shot me a quizzical glance and I nodded at the small building beside us.

Her confusion morphed into understanding. "Can you guys go clean the plates off?" She pushed her plate toward Julian. "We'll be in after we talk."

The two young kids both looked at her, eyes wide. "But we want to stay. Why do you get to talk with Damon alone", Julian said.

"Because he wants to."

Damn. That sounded like Katrina.

"Fine", the boy pouted before taking Cassandra's plate. The two of them stalked back to the shack, shooting glances back our way. I've never seen a pair of kids their age look so angry (not that I'd seen many). It almost made me laugh.

I stood to walk further away from the thin walled makeshift shelter. Gwen might not be able to hear inside, but I wanted to take as few chances as possible.

"The place we're going to take you agreed to make space", I said as we stopped a dozen meters from the shack.

Cassandra bit her lower lip as she glanced back. "Sanctuary?"

I nodded. "It's a smaller settlement, but they're well armed and well fortified."

"So was mine", she said, somber. "Both times."

There wasn't much I could say to that; numbers were always important for communities like theirs. I've come across more than a few failed colonies in my time hoping from planet to planet. There was never one cause, but many just seemed too small to sustain themselves, falling to the Remnants, or humanity's own scavengers. Some were better prepared than others, but a large enough force, or a well equipped one, could do whatever they wanted.

Was I doing the right thing? Maybe these three would be safer here. Diamond city is relatively large, with a sizable enough standing force, it would be difficult, and costly for the Brotherhood to overwhelm them, even with air support. But they'll still be within their reach here. Have I put these kids in the middle of what will be my fight with the Brotherhood? How can I protect them if I'm at the Institute? If I find a way back to the UNSC? Can I trust Preston's group? They've doubled in size in a month, and they're in a defensible, well fortified position, but 15 people, some guns, and a few armored houses aren't going to stand up to any sustained assault.

There was an answer, but… it would delay getting to the Institute, my mission objective. It would delay Nate reuniting with his son. Could I ask him to do that?

These three are my responsibility now. I saved them from that mess, I can't put them right back into another.

If I take time to secure Sanctuary, that pushes my timeline for getting back to my reality.

I don't even know what that timeline is. … And if there was one thing I could justify delaying that for, one thing I could make time for, wouldn't it be this? Wouldn't it be to try and help these kids who suffered the same horrors I had? If I can't take the opportunity to save them, of all people, what the hell am I fighting for? Revenge?

My mind sputtered, trying to come up with a counter, but there was nothing. A few weeks ago, I probably could have stomached it, put the kids in Sanctuary, and been done. But now… I know what they're feeling, I remember what it was like. I couldn't risk it, Sanctuary getting attacked, and these three losing another home. That would be something I don't think I'd ever get over.

What about Nate?

I hesitated. Would he be alright taking the time to do this right? How long would it be? Clearing the immediate area, recruiting new settlers, bringing back supplies, setting up infrastructure, and removing potential threats like the Raiders Alexandra had mentioned… Weeks. At least.

Can I bring someone else on board to help? The Railroad? The Institute?

I'll have to ask Nate, but whatever happens, I'm not leaving these kids to flap in the wind.

I emerged from my thoughts. It took me a moment to realize we'd been standing in silence for a while. Cassandra hadn't seemed to notice either; she was still staring out across the cobble together mess that was Diamond City.

"I'll do everything I can to keep you safe."

The young girl jumped, like she was surprised I was still there, and turned to me, a thin film of tears in her eyes.

"Can you promise that? Can you promise we'll be safe? I don't- I can't do this anymore." Her voice was on the verge of breaking. It was a pain so deep, and so familiar, the pit that opened in my stomach felt endless. "I've been bouncing from place to place for so long, I've been so afraid of another attack for so long- I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even sleep. Then I found them, and they helped me- they gave me a home, made me feel like- like there was a tomorrow." Her shoulders started shaking. "And now they're dead too. Julian and Thomas, they're family is gone. Now they're like me and- and is it my fault? Would they Supermutants have attacked if I wasn't there?" She stopped and slumped into a seat, head in her hands.

She's been holding it together for those two. She's been doing it because she knows if she breaks, they will too.

Cassandra was doing this for them; her entire life revolved around Julian and Thomas now. Their family took her in and gave her a second chance, something I never gave myself an opportunity for.

And it was torn from her.

Was she responsible for the attack? No, probably not. But guilt is rarely based in reason.

Could I promise they'd be safe?

No, I couldn't, and I wasn't going to lie about that. She deserved that much. But all three deserve the best opportunity I can give them.

"I can't", I said, and she looked up at me, tears beginning to stream down her face. "You know too many things can happen. But I'll get as close as anyone can."

The young girl opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She sat there, staring up into my visor. Was she thinking about what I'd said? Was she disappointed I couldn't give her a guarantee? Did-

"Did someone do the same for you?"

What? I cocked my head.

"You said your home was attacked when you were young too. Did someone help you?"

No, I didn't say my home was attacked, I said something like that happened. It probably wasn't difficult to guess though.

"Sort of." I shrugged. "What happened to me was… different. My people were at war." I motioned to myself. "I thought this was the closest thing I could get."

"Thought? Do- did you trust whoever did this to you?"

To me? I did this to myself. If you're asking whether I trust ONI or not…

"No, but like I said, it was different. I'm not offering to turn you into a soldier." I'm offering the opposite.

"You want to give us a chance. Another chance." I nodded. She took a deep breath and looked at the shack. "I just want them to be safe."

"I know."

Cassandra fell silent for a few moments, even the sound drifting up from the bustling market seeming to mute itself.

"Okay." She cleared her throat. "Whatever we need to do to get there, we'll do."

"Thank you." I wasn't relieved, so much as determined. There was no way of knowing if this was the right thing, but I'll do everything I can to make it the right thing. "For now, keep your head down. We'll take you there as soon as it's safe."

Footsteps against the concrete stairs leading toward us drew my attention, and I turned to see Nate walking up, gaze a little too sharp to be normal.

"I need to talk with him", I said.

The teenager stood. "Okay." She cast a quick glance at the ex-soldier, then me, something that may have been hope brightening her eyes.

As she walked back to the shack, Nate came to a stop beside me and watched her silently. It wasn't until the thin wooden door swung shut behind her that he turned to me. "Care to explain?"

I met the smaller man's gaze. How do I approach this? What do I tell him? What would I do if he disagreed?

"I'm going to take some time to make sure they're safe."

Nate squinted. "What does that mean?"

"Sanctuary will be the best place for them, but it isn't secure enough. I-" That's strange. It isn't a mission objective, it isn't an order from Fourier, it isn't a directive from my handlers… it's something I want. I'm letting that override my decision making. And I'm happy about it. "I want to take some time to secure the area, and help reinforce Sanctuary."

The ex-soldier stared up at me, wordlessly, face utterly blank. Was that good? He's terrible at hiding when he's upset, so at least he isn't that, but then what?

It was 30 seconds before he sighed and looked away. "Dammit."

What does that mean?

"What?"

"I said 'dammit'." The smaller man met my gaze once again. "I was hoping you'd continue being the pragmatic one so I didn't have to make this decision. I want to help them too and- and I want my son back, but if we don't help these kids, will anyone? If we leave them in Sanctuary to fend for themselves, will they be alright? Shaun's my son, he has to be my priority. But he's safe, at least according to Kellogg, and I got the chance to dig around in his memories." His gaze fell to the ground between us. "I just want to see him again. I want to see him again so bad I can barely stand it. I don't know what to do."

I didn't either, really. I'm making it up as I go at this point. But I do know what I want, and it's been a long time since I've felt this way about something enough to do it.

"We may be able to use the Institute to help, but we need to establish a baseline first." Nate kept his eyes pointed at the ground, but nodded. So he's on board, at least for now.

"If they're willing to help." He finally met my gaze.

"If they're willing to help, but that goes for us too."

The ex-soldier grimaced. "Right." He paused again, slight frown and wrinkled forehead. I couldn't blame him for having doubts; Nate was trying to get his son back, and now we're delaying that.

"Okay", he said eventually, "how long do you think this will take?"

"Can't say yet, but we'll know more about what the Railroad needs from us tomorrow. We can begin putting a plan together then."

"Do you think the Railroad might be able to help?"

I shrugged. "It's possible."

He sighed, looking toward the market with the same expression of loss and longing Cassandra had. "Goddammit. Why can't I say no? Why can't I just- just get Shaun back."

That's something I understand too. "You want to help."

The smaller man smiled. "Yeah. Maybe." He turned back, once again, still smiling. "Piper said she'd help… if I introduce you." I cocked my head. "Don't worry, I didn't say anything, but she's going to ask a lot of questions."

Great.

X

"You want me to ask him for what?" Nate was staring at me like I'd grown a second head (still don't understand how livestock would do that), as we stood near Valentine's shack a few minutes before noon.

"Mutfruit glaze. It's something Sturges said to him when we met."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Something to do with their past."

"So now I'm in some cheap spy flick, huh", he muttered.

An amused grin crept across my face. "I thought so too."

"Okay, so sunglasses, blue baseball hat, Mutfruit glaze, whatever the hell that is." I nodded. The ex-soldier looked me over, frowning. "If you didn't stick out so damn much… no guarantee the Brotherhood won't be able to track me."

In that commotion? Keeping track of any one person in the market would be difficult for almost anyone, especially if they don't know they're supposed to be looking for them. Standing head and shoulders above everyone, in Mjolnir, defeats the purpose of a meeting like this. Nate knew that, he was just partaking in his regularly scheduled bitching.

"I'll meet you under Kellogg's house."

He looked disappointed. "Could you give it back to me, just once?"

What? Join him in complaining about everything? No thanks.

"Don't get followed."

"That'd be a no…"

Five minutes later, I was high in the stands overlooking Diamond City's market which, as usual, was bustling with activity. Even magnified through my visor, Nate's unremarkable appearance made him difficult to track through the throng of people (which can be good or bad, depending on the point of view) while also searching for Deacon's blue hat, and any potential tails. It wasn't critical the Brotherhood didn't know we were meeting with someone, but it would raise fewer questions.

Almost as if on cue, I caught a glimpse of deep blue in the crowd as the clock in my HUD ticked over to 1200. I hated not having comms. Deacon made his way to the end of the market closest to the main entrance while Nate began moving toward some of the kiosks ringing the crowd, probably to get a better vantage point. It wasn't the best idea, anyone watching would be able to pick him back up easier, but unless he got lucky, he wasn't going to find the Railroad agent wandering through the mass of people.

The inability to contact either while they headed in different directions was agonizing. I'd be lying if I said a small part of me didn't want to go down there instead of waiting for Nate to notice the man now standing beside what looked like a food cart near the southern edge.

It wasn't all impatience though. Deacon was expecting me, and I'd stick out in any crowd, so if it took too long for the ex-soldier to make contact, the Railroad agent might get spooked and bug out. If he looked like he was about to leave, I wouldn't have a choice but to intercept. There was no other way of contacting the Railroad, and I doubt they'd be willing to risk a second meeting, for multiple reasons.

Thankfully it didn't come to that.

After what felt like years, but was actually about five minutes, I watched Nate catch sight of Deacon's navy blue hat. Now comes the part that concerned me the most. If the ex-soldier made a beeline to the contact, it would attract attention, unwanted or otherwise, and probably scare Deacon off. And there's still the chance he sees an unknown, armed man moving toward him, the agent might disengage anyways.

Nate didn't rush over to the Railroad agent, thankfully, instead slowly filtering his way through the crowd toward him. Unfortunately, his eyes stayed glued on his target. Anyone watching would have been tipped off immediately. I guess I can't get everything…

I took several deep breaths as he neared the kiosk. Operating alone is one thing, but watching someone else handle part of a mission this important was far more stressful than doing it myself. I couldn't do or control anything besides wait and hope. If Deacon bugged out, I'd probably be able to catch him before he left, but it would draw a lot of attention, both from any Brotherhood members watching, and the citizens. One thing I learned early in training: leave as small a footprint as possible. Something I learned early during my solo deployments: if you can't do that, make sure anyone who might find your footprint wasn't alive. Neither of those would be tenable.

Nate cleared the last few people around the small food stand, and made his way around to the side opposite Deacon. He said something (reading lips was a skill I should pick up at some point, but I could guess) and the Railroad agent met his gaze. Now that Deacon was facing away, I couldn't see his expression, but he didn't bolt away. That was encouraging.

I stayed crouched in the shadows cast by the stadium's walls watching them talk for the better part of a minute. It felt a lot longer. Nervousness tugged at the back of my mind, but soon enough, Nate nodded and they waded back into the sea of bodies.

A small wave of relief pushed the tension away, but there was still the question of what Deacon is going to ask for.

The answer wasn't going to pop out of thin air, so I began making my way down to our prescribed meeting place. While I picked through the stands, it was impossible to avoid the citizens staring at me. Between me and Kellogg's house were a few dozen shacks similar to the temporary Brotherhood outpost. Those were looks I was used to, it was one of the few things I didn't find disconcerting about being around civilians.

As I reached the house, I heard muffled talking from below. I couldn't tell what they were saying, but it didn't sound like either Deacon or Nate. Was someone else using this? Dammit. It wasn't the end of the world, but it was definitely inconvenient.

"No… you don't want to do that." Hmm, that was Nate's voice. He had the same carefully genial tone in his voice as he had when we were confronted by those assholes in Goodneighbor. Someone's trying to mug him? Again?

Exposing myself to whoever is down there could only lead to complications. I'm sure rumors of me have spread all over the place, so showing up in a situation like that would be sure to make the rounds too. That gets back to the Brotherhood, and they shorten the leash. If I kill whoever it is, maybe I'm not implicated, but people might start asking questions. The best option is to watch and wait.

"I can't tell you how many times I've heard that", a slightly too excited voice responded.

I didn't even consider trying to balance my way out onto the house's support posts, they looked like they were ready to collapse on their own. Slipping around the house, I hugged what was left of the stands and made my way down behind the flimsy looking structure.

Sure enough, near the front of the building were Nate and Deacon half surrounded by four gaunt looking men in tattered clothes and an eclectic collection of firearms.

"We don't have anything valuable."

"That rifle says you're full of shit. That thing alone is worth 500 caps."

Caps. Bottle caps. They use goddamn bottle caps as currency. It's been over a month now and I still can't get over that.

I tucked myself into the shadows cast by the dead mercenary's house, rifle trained on the guy Nate was talking with.

"I got this from the Brotherhood. Don't think they'd be too happy with their hardware being stolen."

Two of the men laughed.

"Gotta say man, that's a new one", their leader said, "the Brotherhood huh? So where's your power armor?"

"On the Prydwen."

"The what?"

Nate sighed, trying to sound exasperated. The little gang might have bought it, but the stiffness in his shoulders betrayed him.

"The big flying thing. It's an airship called the Prydwen."

"You better watch who you're talking to, jackass, or I'll leave your body for the Supermutants to eat."

This time I tensed. That was the wrong threat to make.

I slipped my finger over my rifle's trigger as the leader stepped forward, pistol inches from my companion's face.

"I want that gun 'Knight'."

Without seeing his expression, I couldn't tell exactly what Nate was thinking, but if I could guess he wasn't fond of this guy's threat either. What was he going to do about it though? Four guns in his face and Deacon clearly wasn't interested in getting involved. We can always find him another rifle. The gang was still trying to intimidate; firing a shot here would draw the attention of one of the many guards. Unless things get any worse, interfering would only make things more complicated.

The ex-soldier reached for the sling over his neck. As his hands neared it, even from my vantage point, I could see the four men relax a fraction.

And then Nate's hands snapped forward. In the next moment, the leader, who had been standing far closer than anyone with experience would have, was staring down the barrel of his own weapon.

"Slow down", Nate barked as the other three jumped, "or your boss gets a new hole to breathe through." He paused, and I readied myself to intervene. It certainly wasn't the response I was expecting, but I was impressed. The problem is the ex-soldier now had three guns leveled at him with no protection at damn near point blank range. Deacon had produced a 10mm handgun as well, but if the shooting started, it wouldn't end well. If I did something now, it might send these assholes over the edge.

"Have you seen what happens to the people Supermutants leave behind?" Nate's voice was calm and low, but it was a facade, like a thin layer of ice over an ocean of rage. "I have. If you knew, you wouldn't throw around threats like that. My equipment isn't worth your life, so you're going to leave me and my friend alone, and find someone else to bother. Understood?"

The wide eyed, open mouthed stunned expression on the gang leader's face would have been amusing in another situation. This guy is the definition of an amateur.

"You're still outnumbered."

"I'll make sure all four of you come with me then." It was an oddly out of character statement, but Nate was clearly pissed. "I'm waiting."

There was a short pause before the man nodded. "Okay- okay fine. Can I at least have my gun back?"

"You're lucky I don't only give the bullets back, now leave."

"You think-", one of the others started.

Deacon shifted. "Look friends, if we were looking for trouble, the shooting would have started when I noticed you four following us from the noodle stand. No point in getting dirty now when everyone can walk away from this with no new wounds, right?"

Silence filled the shadows under Kellogg's house. By now it wasn't just my arm that was coiled, my entire body was loaded, ready for the fighting to start. This was far more restraint than I like using, but so many things were outside of my SOP now, I was beginning to question how useful my old habits are.

"Fine", the leader said, "let's go."

He backed away, eyes glued to the ex-soldier. The others hesitated, but as their boss left the shadow of the suspended house, they followed suit.

And I'm the one who needs to reign their emotions in.

I slipped toward the pair of men.

"While I appreciate the bravado", Deacon said, "next time I'd prefer if you didn't. I can get you another one of those."

The ex-soldier began searching the shadows. "Well if someone hadn't been watching, that might not have gone that way." As he finished, his eyes landed on me. They widened a fraction before the irritated frown returned. "Enjoy the show?"

"Getting involved would have only made things worse. I was prepared."

"Right. Prepared." It was hard to tell if the smaller man's clipped tone was directed at me, or he was still agitated about the Supermutants threat.

Deacon shifted. "You don't want to be seen meeting with a strange man under a dead mercenary's house."

He knows this is Kellogg's house, huh? Deacon gets around.

"Yes."

"Fair enough. Not the first time I've had a gun pointed at me."

"What do you need from us?"

"Skipping the friendly greeting again I see." The Railroad agent nodded. "First, we need to see the chip."

"I need to know you have something to lose."

"Does my life count?" I shook my head. If someone wanted this badly enough, anyone they sent to retrieve it would be expendable. "Fair enough, I shouldn't have expected it to be that easy." He reached into a pocket and produced a folded, hand drawn map, and something small, black, and rectangular. "Either of you know this area well?"

"Yes", Nate said, still irritated.

"Good. A few days ago, we ran across a signal on an Institute channel that led us to a dead Courser." He held up the mystery object. "It had this on it. Showed records for two Synths we helped escape a few years back. They were supposed to meet where we found the Courser. My hunch is they killed it and escaped. I managed to follow the Institute bastard's trail back to a hideout where they had information on both stored in a mainframe. Problem now is I don't know whether we have a leak, or if the Institute knows about other escaped Synths we've worked with."

My companion shrugged "So… what are you asking us to do?"

"I can get in touch with one, she works with the Gunners. They aren't the friendliest bunch, but she'll remember me. The other… he runs with a gang of Raiders now."

My eyes narrowed. One of their Synths is in the Gunners?

"The Gunners kidnapped another escaped Synth."

Deacon nodded. "We've known they do for a while now. Problem is we aren't big enough to deal with them."

"Do they know she's a Synth?"

"Probably not, otherwise she wouldn't be a captain."

"You want us to contact the other one", Nate interjected.

The Railroad agent nodded again. "Right."

"If he's with the Raiders now, will he be cooperative?"

"Him? Probably, if you tell him the Railroad sent you. I can't speak for the rest of his gang."

"And what if he isn't?"

"If you're asking whether you should kill him or not, I'd prefer you didn't. We want information, not a dead guy."

He's a Raider now. Why would you feel bad about killing him?

There was one, more important question here though. "Why are you asking us to do this?"

"Because neither of us trust the other. This won't fix that, but at the very least, it gets you involved in our operations. Both of us get collateral."

"How does that work?"

"You know where some of our people are, which means if you need something to hold over us, you at least have that. I get the information I need, and can feel a little better about risking my people."

Nate cleared his throat. The ex-soldier seems to have gotten over his little outburst. "This still doesn't seem like a straight up trade. We're doing something for you, we don't know it isn't a trap, and don't get anything in return."

"You get our help. Isn't that what you came to me for?"

"And what's to stop you from reneging on your end?"

Deacon pointed at me. "The chip. We've been waiting for an opportunity like this for years."

Regardless of what he says, it still comes down to taking the man's word for it. I was starting to get very tired of going into situations like this with no contingency.

The Brotherhood.

… I hated myself for thinking that. I do have a contingency, just not one I want to use. More than that, one I would explicitly rather destroy than use.

But I have to hedge my bets somewhere.

"If this is a trap, I turn the chip over to the Brotherhood."

Nate shot a surprised glance at me. Deacon's was more measured.

"That's a leap I wasn't expecting."

"It's more peaceful than the alternative."

A ghost of a smile crossed the Railroad agent's face. "While I appreciate the consideration, that won't be necessary. I'm well informed of your exploits with the Triggermen and Kellogg. Even your little incursion into Goodneighbor."

Oh I'd probably end up doing that too anyways.

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"So you'll do it."

I glanced at Nate. The smaller man rolled his eyes, but nodded.

"Yeah", he said, exasperated, "we'll stick our necks on the chopping block. Again."

"Alright, good." Deacon handed the map and mystery device to Nate. "The gang's hideout is marked, tell them Deacon sent you." He looked up at me. "And if you have to fight, please try to keep the Synth alive. His name is Burner. Tall- well taller than average, I guess, and red hair. It's hard to miss."

Keep him alive? "As long as it doesn't put either of us in danger."

"Fair enough. Let me see your Pip-boy." Deacon motioned to the device on Nate's wrist.

After a moment's hesitation, the ex-soldier offered his arm. A few clicks and a bit of grumbling later, the Railroad agent released it and stepped back.

"You have our channel programmed in. I haven't given you the encryption key, trust and all that, so when you're done send a message. We'll meet two hours later at the entrance you used during your run in with our venerable classy gangsters."

I cocked my head. It wasn't a stretch that he'd know where the Triggermen were if he knew about our rescue operation, but it was an odd spot to meet. "Aren't they still there?"

"They sealed that entrance off after you tore them a new one. It'll be clear."

Nate cleared his throat. "We're doing a whole lot of trusting here."

"You aren't the only one, friend. This is a very sensitive operation for us. Now, can I see the chip?"

Deacon hadn't really offered anything yet, but if we were going to move forward, he needed to be cooperative.

I stepped back and pulled the gauze wrapped chip from my satchel and unwound the bandage. The Railroad agent looked on with naked curiosity as I held it up for him to see.

"Damn… so long trying to get our hands on one of those things." He smiled. "You have no clue how excited I am for this."

Nate was looking at the device with almost the same interest Deacon was. Right… this is the first time he's seen it.

As I began to re-wrap the subject of everyone's curiosity, our contact chuckled.

"Don't lose it."

I was tired of talking at this point. We're here, we have a mission objective, and if it turns out Deacon is leading us along, he'll learn that's a bad idea the hard way.

"We'll be in touch."

The Railroad agent nodded. I shot Nate a glare as he opened his mouth, probably in protest. The only thing we'd get from any more talking is wasted time.

"Good luck."

With that, Deacon slipped from underneath the house. We waited a few minutes, my companion staring daggers at me the entire time, before the two of us followed suit. I was vigilant for that amateur group of thugs as we climbed back into the stands, but it looked like they didn't want any more trouble. At least not from us.

"I appreciate you involving me in that decision", Nate said as we neared the shack, voice dripping sarcasm.

"I did. There was nothing he could have said to gain my trust. The only way forward is to do the damn mission."

"We should- could have squeezed more information from him. We don't know anything about the Railroad outside of 'they help Synths and the Institute doesn't like them.' No numbers, organization, resources, nothing."

Would that affect what we have to do? Not really. And I doubt Deacon would have given that information anyway.

"How would that help?"

Nate glared up at me, a bit of surprise in his expression. "I don't understand how your brain works. You're so careful sometimes, and then others it's 'don't care, I'll just kill it.'"

Some things require more attention than others.

I shrugged. "We have a path forward. Where are we supposed to go?"

"I'm gonna get through that two foot thick skull of yours one day."

Uh-huh.

He didn't bother waiting for a response. The smaller man unfolded the map and took a moment to study it. I compared it to the admittedly poor mental image I have of the city and got a rough idea of what I was looking at, but the marks on it meant nothing to me.

"So… we have to go to Back Street Apparel. Nora-" the ex-soldier shuddered. "She liked their clothes. It's about an hour and a half walk from here."

It was closing in on 1300. Between arranging something with the chip, getting something to eat, and the kids, we probably wouldn't be leaving for a few hours, which means we'd be moving at night on the way back. If Nate still had his T-60, I'd consider it, but there were too many risks crossing the destroyed cityscape at night without it.

The ex-soldier met my gaze again as I thought. "We should wait until tomorrow."

"Agreed."

We returned to the shack and found the trio of kids with Ramirez and Gwen. The two Brotherhood knights looked both bored and irritated, while Cassandra, Julian, and Thomas were sitting in nervous silence.

While I would have preferred to get started on this latest leg of our mission, there are still things I need to figure out.

A few minutes later, the five of us were sitting in the stands again. I was taking inventory of my supplies as I thought.

I still didn't like this idea.

Handing the chip over to the Brotherhood felt wrong, but outside of the more direct retaliation I prefer (which I can't do since I don't know where the Railroad is based), it's my best option. They're the only ones who would be able to do something with it, and while I haven't met anything I'm concerned might kill me yet, I can't always depend on that. Would it screw the Institute over? Probably, but that won't be my problem if we cross that bridge.

The question now is how do I handle it? Hiding it somewhere risked them finding it prematurely, and in case I'm unable to return if things go upside down, I can't take it with me.

I glanced at Nate. The ex-soldier won't stay behind this time; regardless of how he feels about leaving the kids with Ramirez and Gwen, this is a massive opportunity to get closer to the Institute. He won't sit that out.

Piper, the reporter, was a no go.

Cassandra?

She was playing… something with the two younger kids. It involved a ball and several splinters of wood, but I wasn't interested enough to delve any deeper.

The teenager was resourceful, and smart. She trusts me, I think, but can I trust her with the only lead we have on the Institute?

When I only have bad options, take the least bad.

Is that really the least bad?

I ran several other ideas through my head, from organizing something with the two Brotherhood knights, to Sanctuary. On the timetable we have, it's the only solution that keeps things loose enough to be flexible.

But if I don't talk to Nate, he'll never let me hear the end of it.

Placing the fifth magazine back in it's MOLLE pouch, I stood. "Can we talk?"

The ex-soldier turned to me, eyes narrowed. "About?"

"Our contingency."

"For Deacon?"

I nodded.

"Okay", he said as he climbed to his feet. The smaller man looked at the trio watching us. "We'll be back in a sec."

We stopped once out of ear shot.

"I want to give the Courser chip to Cassandra in case this is a trap."

My companion didn't respond immediately, instead electing to stare into my visor, as if a more detailed explanation was written on it.

Eventually he relented. "You don't think it will be safe with us."

"No, and this is first contact. I don't want to risk losing it."

"Right. So you're serious about handing it over to the Brotherhood."

"We won't have another option if the Railroad turns into a dead end."

He grimaced. "I know, but that puts a bad taste in my mouth."

You aren't the only one.

"You trust Cassandra with it", he asked.

"I don't know, but we don't have a better option."

"Okay… how-" the ex-soldier paused for a moment before reaching for a magazine. "Hold on." He began discharging the rounds and once it was empty, he held his hand out. "Give me the chip."

I cocked my head but, as I reached into my satchel for the gauze wrapped card, I realized what he was doing.

The smaller man took it and pushed the entire bundle into the bottom of the magazine. There was just enough room for a few rounds to top it off. If anyone happened to pick it up, the weight would tell them something was off, but it would pass a cursory inspection.

"It isn't perfect, but it will protect the chip and draw less attention than a wad of gauze."

Right, so we're entrusting the chip to a young girl we've known for a little over a week, stuffed into a magazine. This is a great idea.

A/N: Ah, so no action again huh? Nope, not really, though Nate did have a little rage moment tucked in there. There's a very, very, good reason for that, but you don't get to know until later! I thought our characters deserved a break though; between their time trudging through the Glowing Sea, to Damon fighting the Courser, it's been a rough few chapters. We're oh so tantalizingly close to the Institute now. Right? To celebrate our one year anniversary, I'll be posting a third chapter this month (on the 29th) and I promise you all, I didn't choose any old chapter to be the commemoration of this insane trip. I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you again in a few weeks!

Next Chapter: 9/29, Of Mice and Men