A/N: Hello and welcome to another episode of 'how did this happen?' Before we get into the chapter... Halo Infinite? Hello? I'm one of the few who have always had faith in 343; I thought 4 was a great game, and I saw the bones of what 5 was supposed to be. Despite everything, I was always optimistic about Infinite and the direction it was going to go. Nothing could have prepared me for how truly special that game is. It's very different from Halo games of yore, but 343 did such a phenomenal job capturing the essence of what Halo is, while also mixing in the most personal story we've seen, especially for the MC, for the three main characters. I thought Escharum was a quality antagonist who served as a great opposite to the Master Chief and his new perspectives. I won't spoil any of the story, but reading the books, especially the original trilogy and probably Shadow of Reach, makes the story far more rewarding. There's a cool moment that can trace its origins back to First Strike (amazing book btw). Long story short, Infinite is an incredible experience and I couldn't recommend the game more. It has flaws, but they pale in comparison to the game as a whole. There will always be people complaining about how 'it isn't like the original trilogy' and while I agree, dare I say I don't know if I've ever had more fun playing a Halo game.
Aaaaaanyway, the chapter. This one was difficult to write, mostly because of the complicated subject matter here. There are a lot of things in play, but instead of revolving around Damon, it's mostly Shaun here. On top of that, the characters, especially Nate, are going through something that is incredibly difficult, and I wanted to make sure I did the moment justice. Thanks again to VixenRose1996 for giving this a look over. Make sure to leave a review if you are so inclined and, as always, enjoy!
Chapter 26: What now?
I was at a loss. I didn't know what to think, what to feel, or what to do. This was so different from anything I've been through, and that's including that first day I remembered the attack, sitting in Fort Hagen, Kellogg's dead body a few meters away.
I wasn't angry, I wasn't upset, I was-
… The best word I can use is defeated. I was defeated. There have been plenty of times I've failed; training, objectives, hell entire missions. But there was always some recourse. Now though- there was nothing. Nothing we could do. Not that it was too hard or unfeasible, it was literally impossible to fix this situation. More than that, there was nothing I could have done to succeed in the first place. It felt a lot like when I thought about the Covenant tearing my home, my childhood, my life apart.
Helpless. I felt completely and utterly helpless.
And that made me feel guilty. This wasn't even about me.
My gaze drifted to the only other occupant in the relatively lavish apartment the Courser, X6-88, had led us to. It was large, with a separate bedroom, shower, living room, pristine furniture, even a screen set in the wall of the main living space. The accommodations were a veritable paradise compared to the conditions around the wasteland above.
It all seemed to fade into a hazy, grey background, a backdrop to the horrid realization Nate and, by extension, I were faced with. It took him the better part of 15 minutes to gather himself off the floor of the lab. He never looked at anything besides the ground as we made our way through the clean, unmarred, well lit halls to our new room. For the last half hour, he'd been sitting in a chair at the apartment's small table, staring at his clasped hands. He'd barely moved in that time, the only sign he was still alive was the slow rise and fall of his shoulders.
Two months, countless hours of walking, fighting, and searching, a dozen brushes with death only to arrive here and find it was all in vain. To find out the one thing he'd been holding onto, the one thing he'd staked his entire existence on, his reason for pushing forward had never been in reach.
The life he wanted with his family had been stolen when the bombs dropped. The chance to restart one with his wife and kid were destroyed when Kellogg put a bullet through Nora. The opportunity to recoup what little he could with his son was taken in the same moment, but he never knew it.
How did this affect me this much. Sure, I feel bad for him, but Shaun isn't my son. I didn't know him-
And yet…
Because I wanted this. I wanted to help Nate. I wanted to give him the chance I never had- my parents never had. Because he's my friend, and this was the entire reason he was still going.
"60 years." The whisper was so quiet, I almost missed it. It was the first thing he said since Shaun left. "How could this happen? How could I let this happen?"
It wasn't his fault. I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault. He was in cryo, there was nothing he could have done. But I couldn't. It wouldn't help, if anything it would make him feel worse.
Nate finally turned to me, bloodshot eyes and tear stained face looking… lost. I'd never seen him like this; we've always had an objective, a direction to move, something to do. Now… we're here. We made it to the Institute. He doesn't have a life to build with his son. He doesn't have any direction, and there was none I could give him.
"Look after Shaun."
That's what I'd told him to do. I told him he needed to stay out of the fight with the Brotherhood, to stay safe and alive because Shaun needed him. He asked me to help him make this hellhole a little better because he wanted to give Shaun, Cassandra, Thomas, and Julian the best life possible. After this… I wouldn't blame him if he was stuck on the revelation his son has lived his life without him.
"What do I do?"
"I-" Why is he asking me? My response to my own… situation was to give my life to ONI, to turn into a hate filled, vengeful killing machine. My answer was to pass the anger and suffering on. No, passing it on would mean what I've done helped me in some way. Helped ease my fury, guilt, pain… helplessness. It did nothing of the sort. And it wasn't like Nate had some place to focus that anger either; sure, the Institute was at fault, but Shaun is the Institute's leader now.
"I don't know."
The ex-soldier looked back at his hands resting on the table. "Neither do I."
His voice was so empty. An image flashed through my head of being loaded onto an evac transport after the attack, looking without seeing, listening without hearing… existing without living. I saw that on Nate's face, in his body language. I heard it in his voice.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
We continued sitting there, neither of us saying anything. My clock said another 20 minutes slipped by, but the time felt like it passed in an instant, and stretched on into eternity.
I was so caught up in the anguish and despair, I almost missed the careful, quiet footsteps approaching from down the hall. It was the first thing I've heard in damn near an hour. Were they coming for us? Had Shaun lost his patience? It almost didn't matter, whatever the case, Nate needed time.
A moment later, the footsteps came to a stop on the other side of the apartment's door and it slid open. I stood, blocking whoever wanted to enter.
It was X6-88 and a young woman dressed in a long white lab coat, brown hair tied back in a tight bun, and a worried expression on her unweathered, angular face.
"Hi-", she started, looking up at me, nervous. "Hi, I'm here to talk with Nate."
That didn't need saying; why else would she be here? She was probably a doctor of some sort, maybe a psychiatrist. Did Shaun think talking with someone like her would help him? Would it? I'm certainly not one to talk, the only time I talked to shrinks was to pack my baggage farther away. That turned out well.
"I'm Dr. Helen Porter", the young woman said quietly after I didn't reply, "I'm a psychiatrist. I- just learned about the current- uh- situation, and Father asked me to see if I could help."
How would a shrink help here?
Ellie helped me.
That-
Wasn't any different.
Can I trust them?
Why would they lie? What use would this be?
I didn't have an answer but-
"It's okay", a quiet, solemn voice came from behind me. I turned to see Nate watching us, face still shock white. "I don't know what good you'll do, but I just- I don't know what to do."
Did he want to talk about this? If that was the case… I'm probably not the right person to talk with.
Or maybe I am. Can any of these people understand what he's going through? I may not either, but I come a lot closer than some book-worm doctor with no experience with real loss.
Right now it doesn't matter, I haven't been talking to him, and they gain nothing from this.
I stepped aside to allow the doctor in, but when the Courser tried to follow, I barred his path with an arm.
We're staying right here pal.
X6-88 stared up at me without a hint of emotion on his face.
"Please move aside."
"No."
Porter cleared her throat. "It's okay X6-88, please wait outside."
The dark skinned man looked past me at his charge and nodded. "Yes ma'am." He backed away from the door back into the hall.
My gaze lingered on him for a few more seconds before I also stepped away, moving to the far corner of the room where I could keep watch on both it and Porter.
The doctor sat in the only other chair at the table and clasped her hands in front of her.
"Nate", she said, voice suddenly much more confident, "I'm Helen. Before we begin, would you like I have this discussion alone, between the two of us?"
My mind went straight into high gear.
You want me to leave him alone with you? After what you people have done?
I stepped forward, ready to voice my objections, but the words didn't come.
What if he does though. What if Nate wants to be alone with this one? I have no right to object if he does.
But the ex-soldier absently shook his head. "They're fine."
"Okay", Porter said, glancing at me. "I'd like to start by telling you a little about what we do here at the Institute, okay?"
Despite everything, that piqued my curiosity. I know I don't have the entire picture, but how would she describe it? I doubt it would have many ugly details, but even leaving those out, she can reveal a lot.
The ex-soldier nodded again, eyes still on the table between them.
"Good. Much of what we do here is focused on the development of synthetically produced intelligent humanoid beings: Synths. That's why I chose to become a psychiatrist, I work with them to improve their emotional aptitude." She frowned. "It was my idea to allow S9-23 to greet you, I thought it would make easing you into the situation… more palatable. That was my mistake, I should have known it would only make things more difficult. And he wasn't ready for that kind of encounter."
"Mhmm."
"We work on so much more than that though. Every type of technology you could imagine is researched, developed, and implemented here. Fa- Shaun has pushed us to do so much more because he believes we can help the people of the Commonwealth when the opportunity arises. I can't begin to tell you how good he's been for us."
When the opportunity arises? Are you waiting for an engraved invitation? My mind sorted back through the countless images of the destroyed cityscape, the surrounding wastelands, people living in horrific conditions fighting for their lives. If these people had the desire and means to help, what the hell are they waiting for?
"As difficult as it may be to hear, your son has done great things; he's accomplished more than most could dream of in many lifetimes." She fidgeted with her hands for an instant before continuing. "I've been allowed to read the circumstances of the Institute's actions the day he was taken. I can't imagine how that must have felt. It was completely uncalled for, and short sighted." A tinge of genuine anger colored her voice. Nate must have heard it too because, for the first time, he met her gaze. "I will not deny we've done unforgivable things in the past, but your son has been working tirelessly to right those wrongs." Her voice softened again. "Can I ask something of you?"
The ex-soldier nodded again, as if the response was on automatic.
"What was it like in the pre-war world?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean what was it like to live there? We've seen footage, read reports, and studied it in every academic sense possible, but that doesn't tell us how it felt."
Was she just trying to get him to talk? Is that the best way to deal with this?
And I'm someone to give advice on dealing with a traumatic incident?
I know Nate better than anyone here, maybe better than anyone else period at this point. Talking about his life before the War isn't going to do him any favors.
Before I could interject, the ex-soldier shrugged. "Constant war and fear", he said, tone about as dry and monotonous as the wasteland above us. "Sure, I could run down to the store if I wanted a nice juicy steak, but that didn't mean anything when you're always afraid a bomb is gonna drop on your head." He huffed. "Then it happened."
"What about before that?"
A hint of irritation broke through the blank stare plastered on his face.
"Before that? I was on active duty for 16 years. Before that? I was a runaway. Before that? I made a sport out of getting beaten so my mom didn't."
That last part's something I didn't know. Is that why he was so determined to get Shaun back? I vaguely remember a couple of the other Gamma company recruits talking about abusive parents, and even then I couldn't understand. A parent hurting their child? I don't recall much about mine, but I knew they'd never done that. And never would have. It lit a small fire of anger in the back of my head.
But that isn't the point here.
Porter smiled sadly. "I guess some things never change." Her smiled turned a bit more genuine. "Unless someone comes along who can do it. My circumstances are a bit different, but I recently had my first. I hope one day she grows to be someone a quarter of what your son has become. He's truly a great man. As difficult as it is, I think you should be proud." She stood with a nervous glance back at me. "We have a status meeting tomorrow at 8:00 AM. Your son asked that you attend. He'd have done it himself but… well he's confused for the first time I can remember. I think he's been struggling with this." The shrink's smile returned. "I don't think I've ever seen him more excited for something though."
The expression on Nate's face had returned to it's blank, emotionless default. "Ah."
"I'm staying a few doors down for the time being", Porter said, and started out of the room. I stepped into the middle of the apartment as she left, watching X6-88 as he crossed the doorway. Even behind the sunglasses that looked oddly similar to the ones Deacon wears, I could see the appraising glance he cast my way.
My companion didn't move from the table as I slid the door shut. That had been an… odd conversation.
Silence reigned as I turned back to the smaller man. He'd resumed his position, sitting and staring at his hands clasped in front of him.
Normally, idling for hours on end irritated me, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't grow restless as the day passed, but I didn't want to leave either. The revelation, while it didn't hit me with anywhere near the magnitude it did Nate, hurt. A lot. It hurt that there was nothing I could do to help the ex-soldier more than anything. So I contented myself sitting in the room's far corner, giving him as much space as possible, but still able to watch over him.
Hours later, I heard more footsteps in the hall, and the door slid open to admit Porter again, this time with two trays full of food. Fresh, healthy looking food.
Chicken.
Despite myself, my mouth began to water.
On the trays stacked high with fresh fruit and vegetables were several delicious looking roasted chicken thighs. How long has it been? Even while stationed on ship, we were limited to preserved fare for the most part. Damn… and this place couldn't spare any resources to help? My ass.
She wordlessly deposited the trays on the table and left. I was about to take a tray into the bedroom when Nate stood and picked one up himself. He never looked my way as he trudged out of the apartment's living room.
He slid the door shut, and I was on my own.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't enjoy the food- probably the best thing I've eaten in a decade. It just… didn't feel right. I don't need this. The food might be good, but that wasn't important to me. I eat to recoup energy. What would Cassandra, or Thomas, or Julian, or any of the people struggling to make it by in Sanctuary think of this? Have they ever had the opportunity to eat food like this? And eating it now? After we failed so completely…
Nate didn't come back into the living room. After another hour or so, I heard the ex-soldier crawl into bed.
That night was as bad as the hours I'd spent sitting there during the day, but it didn't matter. I'd wait. Occasionally, I'd hear a soft sob drift from the bedroom. I doubt Nate got much sleep.
What would that be like for me? Going into cryo and waking up to find everything, not just different, destroyed. Everything I knew, gone. The answer is probably the same as how I handled being dropped here: assess, adapt, act. I don't know if that's a good thing anymore. I'm a soldier, a SPARTAN, a III. I don't have a normal life to remember, I don't- didn't have anything I was afraid of losing. My only concern has always been the next mission.
More than once, I overheard regs gossiping about me, calling me a 'pet weapon', or 'robot'… I think my favorite one was 'HMSAP' High Mobility Small Arms Platform (whoever came up with that one had one hell of an imagination). Point is, they saw me as someone- something the UNSC could shove in a tube, pull out when they need something killed, and put me right back.
And they're right. Or they were.
If I was shoved in cryo and I woke up to find everything different, how would I feel now? Knowing everyone I've come to care about here is gone? Would I be able to move on the same way?
I spent the rest of the night with odd new thoughts careening through my beleaguered mind. Like so many others in the last two months, I didn't know what to do with any of them. How would I feel if that happened to me? What would it feel like once I had to return to the UNSC (if I can)? What is Nate going to do now? Can I do anything to help him?
If it weren't for the clock in my HUD, I would have lost track of time. When I finally heard movement from the bedroom, it read 0700. Nate emerged from the door only wearing his worn khaki cargo pants. The faint scar on his chest, just beside his heart drew my mind back to the moment I watched the bullet explode from it in a fountain of blood. He'd probably rather go through that again than this.
The ex-soldier stopped just outside of the door, staring at me.
"I-" he started before his voice caught. He was exhausted. "I'm sorry Damon."
I stood. Sorry?
"For?"
"Making you sit here so long, I know you hate that." His eyes dropped to the floor for a moment before he met my gaze again. "It's just- I'm just- I don't know what to do."
I cocked my head at him. Sorry for making me wait? That's what you're worried about?
The smaller man shifted uncomfortably. "Don't give me that look. I know-"
"I'm not what you should be thinking about."
After a second's pause, his blank expression slowly drifted into a confused frown. "What do you mean?"
"Me waiting doesn't matter, your son does. Are you going to their status meeting?"
"I-" he faltered again. "I haven't thought about it. Should I?"
Should he? There's a pretty easy way to answer that. "Will it be more productive than staying here?"
The contemplation that drifted across his face told me the ex-soldier knew what I meant. He could sit here and try to think his way through this, or he could go do something to find a solution. As soon as I saw that, I knew what his answer would be; Nate is someone who confronts problems head on, no matter what form that takes.
"Yes…" he glanced back into the bedroom. "You think they have clean clothes?"
I shrugged. Dressing myself was easy. I'd worn armor practically every day for the past 8 years.
Half an hour later, Nate looked a lot better after taking a shower. He found jeans and a white long sleeve shirt somewhere, clean clothes certainly helped.
Not long after, Porter came knocking on the door. This time, X6-88 wasn't escorting her.
"Will you two be attending the status meeting?"
"Yes", Nate said, voice as robotic as the Coursers'.
The shrink nodded. "Good, please leave your guns here and come with me."
Leave my weapons? That isn't something I was comfortable with.
I need these people to help me. If they're going to do that, I need them to trust me. Besides… if they want to start something, I don't need a gun at this range.
True enough.
I slipped the laser rifle from its sling and detached my HK-33 from its mag clamp and set them both on the room's small table. Nate didn't have his weapon on him.
After checking to make sure the hall was clear, I fell in behind the shorter woman, followed by Nate. I had no idea if they would want to try something, and that made me nervous. It's hard to say what they want with us, or more specifically Nate, when they haven't told us, whether it be a lie or not.
As we followed our guide through the spotless, white washed halls, occasionally passing by other Institute members and guards clad in the same armor I'd seen Synths wear above ground. Is their fighting force entirely composed of Synths?
It was difficult to tell since the corridors were all uniform, and without any markers to use as a guide, distance was hard to judge, but I felt like we were taking a very indirect path. More than a few times we took a detour to circumvent certain passages or doors, and once, even backtracked down a hall. They didn't want us to see certain parts of their facility; that wasn't a surprise.
After 15 minutes of following the winding path, Porter led us down a final hall to an open door voices were already drifting through.
"Do you trust me, Dr. Ayo", I heard Shaun say.
"Of course, but-" another voice started before the Institute leader cut him off.
"Do you trust your Coursers?" He sounded like he was lecturing a 12 year old. It was the same, condescending tone he'd used over the intercom when we first arrived.
The second man's voice raised to a shout as we reached the door. "We do not know how he defeated one in the first place!"
"Well", Shaun said, gazing at me as I ducked through the opening. "Ask him."
There were a half dozen people, all dressed in various colored lab coats, sitting around a large white conference table. At the far end of the room we're four Coursers, each of them with their eyes fixed on me. They were all holding the Institute's version of a laser rifle across their chests. None of the weapons were at the ready, but it spoke volumes about how much I scared them they had five of their best fighters in here. This must be the Institute's leadership.
"I-" the man, Dr. Ayo apparently, a smaller, slim man with a closely shaven head, what looked like a constant scowl, wearing a black and white lab suit. Shaun cut him off again.
"Before we start with that though, I'd like to introduce the rest of our leadership. Thank you Dr. Porter."
Our guide nodded before retreating from the conference room.
"Father… Nate, these are the Institute's department heads." Shaun motioned to the man he'd been talking to. "Dr. Justin Ayo, director of Synth Retention." The next was an older woman with black hair drawn back into a tight bun and slanted, sharp eyes that looked like they had seen more than I would expect from an underground shut-in. "Dr. Madison Li, Director of Advanced Systems Development." The last two looked similar; younger with blond hair and a clear complexion that said they've probably never been in a fight. "Dr. Allie Filmore, Chief engineering and head of the facilities division, and Dr. Clayton Holdren, head of the bioscience division."
As he finished, the Institute leader fixed his eyes on me.
"As much as I would like to answer whatever questions you may have, we must address the largest unknown here."
"Wha-" I felt Nate glance my way. I didn't take my gaze off Shaun. "Oh. Right. His name's Damon. He's the reason I'm standing here."
"Yes, well, his name doesn't tell us much about who he is. I appreciate you kept my father safe and brought him here, but you are an unknown, and that means you're a risk."
"I'm a soldier", I replied before Nate could.
Shaun frowned. "A soldier with extraordinary skills and abilities wearing armor that, by every piece of information available to us, doesn't exist."
That sums it up pretty well I think. "Yes." I need their cooperation, but these people set me on edge damn near as much as Maxson and the Brotherhood had. I wasn't going to give them anything until I was comfortable they were worth trusting.
"I see. You understand you will not be able to remain here as long as we are unsure of your intentions."
Now that was bullshit. "I'm here because Nate needed my help and I need yours. You don't think I'm stupid enough to believe you'd let a dangerous unknown who knows your secret out of your sights."
"Do you expect us to take you for your word?"
I shook my head. "No."
Silence draped itself over the conference room as everyone, including Nate, stared at me. From the expressions around the table, I gathered they expected me to expand, but there wasn't much to say. They don't trust me, words won't do anything to change that. At least, no words I was willing to part with. I don't trust them either.
A small smile flashed across Nate's face as he took in the growing confusion of the Institute members around the table.
Eventually Shaun took the hint and cleared his throat to break the silence. "How do you suppose we proceed then?"
"Show me why I should trust you."
The older man's eyes narrowed, his first visual expression of emotion. That's good, that means I'm getting to him.
"You act as if you're the one in position to command trust."
"Whether you can overpower me or not isn't my concern. I won't discuss the specifics of my situation until I'm satisfied."
After another moment's pause, Shaun's face settled back into its blank, placid default. "You say you need our help, yet you're unwilling to discuss with what. It seems you're looking for a reason to trust us."
I would like to trust you since you're my only shot at getting back to the UNSC, but you haven't made a good first impression.
"Possibly."
"Hmm. Well I think if you would like anything from us, we need something from you first." The Institute leader looked at the man he'd been talking with when we entered, Ayo.
"I would like to know how you defeated one of our Coursers", the doctor said.
"Ballistic trauma."
Nate let out a long, slow breath as looked at the ceiling directly above him. He was biting his lower lip. I think that meant he was trying not to laugh.
Ayo blinked a few times before shaking his head. "I know you shot it", he snapped. "I didn't mean literally 'how did you kill it'."
I cocked my head at the bald man.
"You're such a jackass", Nate whispered, low enough no one else could hear, still staring at the ceiling. At least he was starting to regain some of his characteristic sarcasm. It wasn't really the reason I was giving the doctor a hard time, the guy rubbed me the wrong way, but it wasn't a bad thing either.
"Coursers are programmed, trained, and equipped well enough to handle any single combatant", the man continued on, angrily. "Even the Brotherhood in their antiquated powered armor. How did you manage to kill one on your own?"
Aside from being a smartass, I wasn't exactly sure what to say. I ran the encounter back through my mind; I hadn't done anything spectacular. The Courser was certainly the best combatant I've encountered since coming here, but it had nothing on a Sangheili or Jiralhanae. The extremely fast healing was new, but it wasn't much faster or stronger than an average human. There's only so much it could do. To assume there was no one out there that can beat it is… naive.
"Disabled it with several rounds to its left leg, a dozen more to it's torso and neck once it was down. It had an interesting healing mechanism, but that can't keep up with bullets. So my answer remains the same: ballistic trauma."
Ayo gaped at me, as if describing a fairly simple engagement that ended in the death of one of his Coursers was the most absurd thing he's ever heard.
"Dr. Ayo", Shaun interjected, "correct me if I am wrong, but aside from the missing head", he glanced at me, "and chip, that is consistent with the results of our investigation."
"Yes but-"
"Then I believe there is no reason to inquire further. This… man is a superior combatant with better equipment."
That didn't sit well with the already irate doctor. "You believe some brute who relies on powered armor could be-"
"Dr. Ayo, unless you have anything constructive to add, I believe this matter is concluded. We may not like the answer, but if we do not accept it and work to improve, then the opportunity to do so is wasted. Do you agree?"
After a moment's pause where he glared into my faceplate as if he could kill me with looks alone he grumbled, "I do, Father."
The older, white haired man nodded before turning to Nate
The interaction was interesting; Shaun seemed pragmatic and direct, which is always a good quality in a leader. But then there was the way he did it. I've never cared for coddling someone, but he downdressed Ayo in front of the leadership team, as well as Nate and I. If Ayo was an ineffective leader for their forces, he shouldn't be in the position, which means he probably is and Shaun maintains authority through belittlement. Then there's the almost begrudging 'Father' Ayo added at the end of his 'agreement', like that was his way of signaling submission.
There were so many things to consider, I didn't know what to think, but the feeling I got wasn't a good one.
"Good. Now, I would like to address the primary reason we have gathered here." He seemed to gather himself for his next statement. "Everyone, this is my Father, Nate."
The response was… unimpressive. I don't know what Shaun expected, but the others around the table simply stared at the edge-soldier, all looking mildly disinterested.
Except for Dr. Ayo. His eyes were still firmly locked on me.
"Father", Holdren said slowly, "I understand the nature of your reasoning, but are you sure it's a good idea to bring an outsider into a leadership meeting like this? Especially considering the-" his eyes flicked to me for a moment, "potential danger."
Shaun nodded slowly. "Yes, I am. We are not here to discuss any of our more sensitive operations, in fact we are here for the purpose of discussing our guests. As for danger, I do not believe we are in any more than normal."
"If I may ask then, what is the purpose of this gathering?"
"To assess the situation and decide how to move forward." There were a few confused glances shared between the assembled leaders. "This involves a matter very personal to me, as well as a very unique variable. I would prefer this decision be made in as an objective manner as possible because of the potential repercussions and my own biases."
Dr. Li's sharp gaze had only left me a few times since this started, and now there was an added understanding. "Is there a reason they are present?"
"They are both unknown quantities no one here has had experience with. Would it not behoove us to gather as much information as possible?"
Ah. An interrogation. Or would they call this an 'interview'?
The woman offered a curt nod. "It would."
"Is everyone in agreement", Shaun said as he looked around the table. The other three nodded in return, Ayo last to give his assent. "Good. Since I doubt we will get much from our more mysterious party, I suggest we begin with my father."
He paused, looking around the table at his subordinates, but no one offered an objection. "Very well. I will go first." The Institute leader fixed Nate in the same, impassive stare he's had since we first saw him. "I understand, and appreciate, you came here to find me. Now I must ask what your intentions are."
The ex-soldier's face was blank, but unlike his son's carefully cultivated pokerface, it was because he didn't know what to think.
"I don't know", he said, voice barely above a whisper. "You were what kept me going."
"Might I suggest something? Your tenacity and determination is indispensable. Traveling across the Commonwealth is not easy, especially now the Brotherhood is your enemy as well."
He's recruiting Nate. That was to be expected.
"Determination and tenacity? Yeah right. It was desperation, nothing more. If you want to give someone credit, give it to him." The smaller man motioned at me. "I don't make it to Diamond City on my own."
While that wasn't strictly true, given enough time he probably could have convinced Preston to help, what came after would have been much more difficult.
Shaun shrugged. "Even if desperation was the driving force and you received help from this man, you are still the one who managed to accomplish something no one else has in the past 200 years. That is valuable. I believe you would be well suited for our mission."
The division leaders were glaring at Nate now. All of them except Dr. Li looked abhorred by the idea. Why? I could understand reluctance, but this goes far beyond disagreement.
"Father", Holdren said, voice carefully neutral. "Is this why you requested our input on this decision? Are you sure your feelings are in line with the Institute's interests?"
The Institute leader looked at each of his subordinates in turn. "I am not sure. You are all well aware of our ambitions. I am counting on your judgement as well."
Ayo set his jaw and cleared his throat. "If we allow an exception here, are we going to begin allowing everyone from the surface in to contaminate our home?"
Contaminate? Was he concerned about radiation? No, they must have sanitation facilities, the Coursers go to the surface regularly. Nate and I didn't pass through one on our way here, but I wouldn't be surprised if they have radiation detectors spread through the facility-
Oh…
"We've worked hard to keep ourselves isolated this long. Why would we give that up now?"
Dr. Li's frown turned on the slim man. "Two of the people sitting at this table are from 'the surface'."
"Yes, and extremely special cases. You've been an invaluable part of this organization, and Father was kept in a Vault. Besides", Ayo turned to Shaun, "with all due respect, your father is a soldier, not a scientist. We do not need fighters when we have the Coursers."
"Dr. Ayo, you rely on them for everything. Not all of their missions are best fulfilled by something only designed and built to be as efficient a killer as possible." Li glanced at me before turning back to Nate. "I think I understand where Father is going: you believe he can be a valuable asset for above ground operations. He can be much more effective in situations that require discretion."
Shaun nodded. "In part, yes, I believe he can be useful in that role. However, I also believe the Institute has enough scientists. We have been secluded down here, toiling away on our projects for the sake of advancement and nothing more." He held up a hand to silence whatever Ayo was opening his mouth to say. "I am not suggesting he be the Institute's leader. What I am suggesting is it may be time to gather input from someone with different experiences."
Dr. Filmore shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Father, you're saying you don't believe there has been a reason for the work we've been doing, the things we've accomplished over the past 200 years?"
"Absolutely not. Our accomplishments have been as important as they have been numerous. However, I believe if we continue down this path, our continued advancements will be in vain. Science for the sake of science is never a bad thing, but maybe it is time we take that science in a new direction."
Silence settled back over the conference room as the assembled leaders considered the suggestion. The uncertainty about Nate providing leadership and input on the Institute's direction made sense. That isn't what's bothering me. What bothered me was the implication Ayo made about the people who live on the surface: they're unclean. More than that, unworthy. He only made exceptions from 'special cases' in the form of Dr. Li and Shaun. The other two, Filmore and Holdren had similar reactions, the only difference was they didn't voice it.
That type of thinking is what drove many of the fundamentals I've fought over the years. More than that, it's what drove the Covenant to war with humanity, to glass our worlds… to destroy my home. If you believe your 'kind' is inherently better than another, you can justify anything, even if that other 'kind' is also humans. It sounded a lot like Maxson and his opinion of non-Brotherhood citizens. Should I be surprised two of the most powerful entities in this post-apocalyptic hellhole they call 'Earth' have a superiority complex? Probably not.
"Father", Shaun said, breaking the silence with an almost startling suddenness, "I understand the last 24 hours have been… confusing, but I would like you to join us. I would like you to be a part of humanity's future, and you will live the most comfortable life possible here at the Institute. Wherever this organization goes, it will be far better than life in the Commonwealth."
If the eggheads here were anything like the ones I've dealt with, the ones with little practical experience would be next to useless in high stress, high leverage situations. They also wouldn't be properly equipped to handle the complications in the world outside of their isolated bubble. Nate not only has two months' experience running back and forth across the Commonwealth with me, he served in an active conflict for almost two decades. If they want a different perspective, he has it.
I glanced down at the smaller man. He was still staring at his son, face blank. Would life here be comfortable? Sure, but it would drive me insane. Relegating myself to a bunker until the day I died… that sounded like my version of hell. That's to say nothing of how the Institute intended to use him.
He turned to me. "What are you going to do?"
"My plans haven't changed."
Holdren cleared his throat. "One moment. We have still not decided whether we agree with Father's proposal. Besides being his parent, what qualifies you to not only join the Institute, but be placed in a leadership position? What makes you better suited for the role than the numerous men and women who have dedicated their lives to the Institute since the day they were born?"
"I-" Nate paused, glancing at Shaun. "I just want to be here for my son."
"That is admirable, especially if the circumstances of your coming here are as… incredible as they seem, but that doesn't answer my question."
The ex-soldier shrugged. "I don't know."
"I intend for my father to prove himself competent, as with everyone else", Shaun said before anyone else could interject. "Poor leadership is the fastest path to collapse. However, I feel we may encounter issues in the near future that may require more than our knowledge."
My eyes narrowed as I studied the Institute leader. The Brotherhood. Was he thinking the same thing? He wanted Nate for his combat experience? Did that mean he'd ask me for help? I have no love lost for the Brotherhood, but I wasn't sure I wanted to give the Institute an advantage.
At some point, I need to start thinking about how I'll get one of these groups on my side, especially the Institute considering I need them. I've worked for ONI. These people could only dream of the shit they do. Hell, they could only dream of some shit I've done.
Morality has never been my concern, that's for brass to worry about.
That didn't ring as true as it would have a few months ago.
Nate was chewing on his lower lip, eyes bouncing between the Institute division leaders. Eventually, he straightened and his gaze settled on the old man. "I'm sorry Shaun- I want to stay here, with you, I want to learn what kind of man you became… without me…" He trailed off, looking like he was struggling to choke down another sob. The ex-soldier took a deep breath before continuing, when he did, his voice still wasn't steady. "You're asking me to do something I- I haven't had time to think about, something I don't know anything about." He glanced at me. "We don't know anything about the Institute besides what we've heard from everyone else, and it hasn't been good."
Shaun nodded. "That is understandable. I have a suggestion that may satisfy everyone, at least in part." He looked at me. "Something that your friend is well suited for. As you are most likely aware, our primary goal is the development and production of Synths. Mankind redefined. Third generation models are remarkable feats of technological accomplishment. However, the superior Synth mind and body attempting to wrestle with something like free will can lead to complications. They can be extremely dangerous if left unsupervised, as you are about to see. A rogue Synth has taken over the Raider gang at Libertalia. His memories have been erased and his identity altered. He believes he is a man named 'Gabriel'. Under his direction, the Raiders have taken many innocent lives."
Erased memories and an altered identity. The Railroad. Something didn't add up there. It's certainly possible the Synth turned to the Raiders, Burner had, and another was a Gunner captain. But the idea all of them were dangerous didn't add up. Curie, Jenny, Sturges, they were all self aware Synths.
"We have decided to dispatch a Courser to Libertalia, I would like the two of you to accompany it and retrieve the Synth."
He wanted us to see how dangerous Synths can be if left to their own devices? Regular people form Raider gangs too. Based on what Curie told us, Synths might be more dangerous than the average drug addicted Raider gang boss, but there's more to this than that.
"Why?"
Everyone in the room turned to me. Ayo's face was red with anger while the other three division leaders seemed curious. Shaun, for his part, was still impassive.
"I'm sure you've heard of the dangers Synths pose to the Commonwealth, but it is a different experience to see it with your own two eyes. They are far more physically and mentally fit than the average citizen."
I opened my mouth but before the words could come out, my mind clamped down on the objection.
Play along, observe, and learn. There's more to this than Shaun is letting on.
Nate and I exchanged a glance and his face told me he wasn't in the right mental space for another gunfight, but would leaving him here be the right decision?
"When do you intend to deploy?"
"As soon as possible", the Institute leader replied. "The longer that Synth is loose, the more innocents are at risk."
I shook my head. "I need intel on the target: location, fortifications, armament, and numbers."
Ayo scoffed. "It's a gang of Raiders. Our Coursers would be more than enough to handle it. You shouldn't have a problem." The doctor managed to sound both offended and condescending at the same time. He was really trying to get on my good side.
"If your Synths can generate more dangerous Raider gangs, they are more effective fighters employing better tactics, correct?"
The head of Synth Retention was staring at me in red faced, wide-eyed rage. Whatever this was, it wasn't just my questioning their decision here.
"That is correct", Shaun said before his subordinate could respond. "They have a well defended position, large numbers, and have mounted several successful caravan raids since Gabriel arrived. If you are going to ask for exact head count, reconnaissance information, or images, we do not have any."
That wasn't any less than I expected from scientists who have never set foot on a battlefield.
"I will need to think about it."
Dr. Ayo seemed to struggle to keep himself seated. "Even if I don't agree with the intent, you are not the one-"
This guy was stretching my already tenuous patience. "You're looking for combat power", I interrupted. "That's me. I'm not along for the ride." And Nate isn't in any condition to make that decision.
"This is pointless Justin", Dr Li added, looking decidedly annoyed with Ayo. "He's correct, and if we are going to pursue Nate's cooperation, it would be smart to also court Damon." She looked at me and nodded. "I believe his reservations are well founded."
"Pointless?" Ayo erupted. "How is 'pointless' to question the motives of-"
Shaun slapped a palm down on the conference table. "Dr. Ayo, I think that's enough." He looked at the two division leaders who had remained silent. "What are your thoughts?"
"It is an interesting prospect", Filmore mused, unaffected by Ayo. Her eyes were fixed on me. "Besides the potential benefits in the field, I believe we can learn much from these two." She met the Institute leader's gaze. "I agree with your proposition."
I've seen the look she gave me before. She wasn't looking at Nate, she was studying an interesting new experiment. 'These two'. Yeah, right.
"Dr. Holdren?"
The blonde haired man nodded. "I will defer to the better judgment of Dr. Li in this matter."
That didn't sit well with Ayo who stood from his chair, staring at his counterpart, seething.
"Then that matter is settled." Shaun glared pointedly at the irate man. "X6-88, would you please escort our guests back to their room?" His gaze shifted to Nate, softening fractionally. "Once we are done here, I will come. I believe it is time we have a discussion… about many things."
The dark skinned Courser separated from its counterparts and stalked toward us. I felt every pair of eyes on my back as we left the conference room. Playing along was the best option, but pulling us into a retrieval wasn't a great way to win our- or I guess my trust. They have to know we've been in contact with the Railroad, and most likely other Synths that had escaped. It's possible they really do think their creations are a danger to the Commonwealth at large, but a case study isn't how you convince someone.
There's something else going on.
X
"I think we should go", Nate said after a long silence. "If we can help, we should."
I glanced at the ex-soldier from my spot sitting opposite the living room's front door. He was back at the small table, like he had been most of the prior day. I agreed with tagging along; helping the Institute wasn't the reason why. Taking out another dangerous Raider is something I'm always up for, but I'm not doing it for people I barely know and don't trust. Nate's perspective was, understandably, skewed here. Shaun was his son, the only thing he has left, even if none of this has happened the way he wanted.
It would be a lie if I said I didn't want to do this to help Nate. We've worked so hard for so long to get to this moment, throwing it away because of an unsubstantiated suspicion would have been petty. Besides… this wasn't just another group in this backasswards world, their leader is Nate's son. It's Shaun.
My eyes roamed the apartment; there were undoubtedly bugs in here. "Yes, but we need to be careful."
The smaller man turned in his chair to meet my gaze. "What do you mean?"
"We don't know what they want."
"We-" Nate blinked, "what do you mean? Shaun wants us to join the Institute."
"Why?"
"Well- because we can be useful."
I leaned back and rested my head against the wall. Nate had his mind elsewhere, and I couldn't blame him for that, considering. Is this just about the Brotherhood? Or is there more?
"Fighting. They need help with the Brotherhood. What next?"
The smaller man frowned. "You're saying- why would they want to fight anyone else?"
There are too many reasons to count. But we don't know anything yet. I wasn't going to risk voicing my suspicions, especially if Nate hasn't come to the same conclusion yet. He had with the Brotherhood, probably before me, but there are more personal issues to consider now.
"I don't know."
His eyes narrowed. The ex-soldier suspected something but he didn't ask. Was he worried someone might be listening in? "Does it really matter right now? I need to be here. I need to be with my son. He's-" Nate took a deep breath. "This isn't what I expected, or what I wanted, but it's all I've got."
All he's got. Shaun is all he's got. I understand that. There are other people relying on us, but that wasn't his concern at the moment.
If they saw me now- my family, what I've become, what would my- No. I don't get to say for them. This isn't about me.
I nodded. "I know."
A small smile found its way onto the smaller man's face. "So you'll help?"
"I'll come."
The smile was replaced by another blank stare. It was a mixture of confusion and the same lost sadness he's had since he found out about Shaun. He was out of it. No matter how irritating the bastard can be, he's observant and has good instincts. I can't count on those for help. I need to be hyper vigilant, both with the Institute, and on this operation. Even given my suspicions I wasn't going to let those ruin this for him. And I sure as hell wasn't going to let them get him killed.
"Don't worry about me. This isn't the time for that. If we're going to do this, you need to have your head in the game. Don't get yourself killed right after you find Shaun."
Silence settled back over the room as Nate continued staring at me. Several moments passed with nothing but the same blank stare until he turned back to look at his hands.
"I'm taking family advice from you now?" he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Are one of these eggheads gonna do it?"
"Porter seemed nice enough."
"She's a shrink."
He snorted. "Makes better conversation than you."
Well… "That isn't difficult."
The smaller man shot me a wry smile. That was good.
It wasn't long after when several sets of footsteps rang on the thick steel floor in the hall outside. I climbed to my feet as Nate noticed the approaching party and, a moment later, the door slid open to admit Shaun. Several Coursers were in the passage beyond, but they didn't follow as he entered.
"That went about as well as I expected", the Institute leader said. "Dr. Ayo is stubborn, but it's that trait which allows him to so effectively fulfill his position." He looked at me. "Though I must say now we are in private, I am immensely curious about what kind of person can dispatch a Courser in single combat.
"You should have seen the Deathclaws", Nate muttered.
Shaun frowned questioningly at his… younger father. "Deathclaws?"
The ex-soldier met my gaze. As long as he didn't reveal where the fight was, or why we were in the Glowing Sea, it would probably be fine. Virgil didn't want to serve the Institute anymore; now I'm here, I'm starting to understand. He's an incredible source of information, and I have several questions I'd like to ask. On the other hand, Shaun getting a hint at how dangerous I can be without disclosing what I'm able to do might be useful as a deterrent.
I nodded.
"Damon's idea of a good time is fighting a half dozen Deathclaws. Mostly hand to hand."
"Ah", the older man said in a tone that would suggest someone had told him the weather. His eyes betrayed him though; they were running over me with a speed and intensity that made me wonder if it was curiosity or fear. "And just how was he able to do that?"
Nate's mouth opened to answer, but he stopped. Another short glance up at me and he shrugged. "If you can get him to answer that, I'll be impressed."
"Hmm… I can appreciate secrecy, it is what has kept us safe all of these years. Have you decided whether you will accompany our Coursers to Liberteria?"
"I will", I said with a short nod, "provided they follow orders."
That caught him off guard.
"You wish to lead this excursion?"
"Yes. You aren't putting your Synths at risk, you are putting Nate at risk. I'm not taking chances with units I can't trust."
"You are not concerned with placing your life at risk?"
I almost laughed. Putting my life at risk? That's SOP. Putting someone else at risk when it can be avoided, especially someone I don't want to see take a bullet, that's… well it's new, but it's also something I'm going to be exceedingly careful about.
"No. I'm a soldier, he isn't- anymore. You're deploying us on this operation to gain trust, not get killed."
"Damon", Nate interjected before his son could say anything, "I appreciate you're trying to protect me, but I'm the same person who has run back and forth across the Commonwealth with you for the past two months. I can handle myself." His voice and gaze were both neutral and carefully controlled. I think I might have pissed him off.
The person who's been damn near fatally wounded.
"I find myself in agreement with Damon", Shaun said. "You are important to the Institute and… even more important to me. You undertook great risk to get here, and now I'd prefer to minimize that risk. If there were another way for you to appreciate the gravity of this situation, I would employ it."
There are better ways to do it. I wasn't going to object; it gave me the opportunity to see the Coursers in action again. I didn't have much chance to evaluate the first one and, if I'm honest, I'm not the best measuring stick. Taking a longer look at their individual capabilities and squad tactics would be a good idea just in case.
Nate shifted, and shot me an angry glance. He was returning to normal with every passing minute."So what are you suggesting?"
"Overwatch." I turned to Shaun. "I want three Coursers. One will work spotter and security for Nate, the other two with me."
"All of our Coursers are expert marksmen-"
"I trust Nate in a gunfight, I've never fought with your Synths."
"Hmm. And you don't think three of our Coursers along with you and my father is overkill?"
I cocked my head at the Institute leader. Overkill is better than not killing your target. Or capturing it in this case. They rely on their advanced technology, sacrificing sound strategy.
"There's no such thing as overkill", Nate said with a small smile. "I never bought into that, but in a situation like this… I don't see a downside. Unless you don't have the Coursers to spare."
Shaun shook his head. "Quantity is not an issue." He looked from me to Nate and back. "If your cooperation is contingent on leading the mission, I see no issue with handing that over. Dr. Ayo will not be happy, but there is a difference between reading mission reports and being in the field yourself. This could prove to be a useful experience for us as well."
I don't doubt it… "What's your timeframe for this operation?"
"Dr. Ayo intended to send our Coursers out two days before your arrival. We delayed because we knew you were getting close."
"How?" I wasn't necessarily surprised; there were plenty of opportunities for them to monitor us. Had they used us to find the Institute?
"The supplies you retrieved from Pulsonic Manufacturing. We don't know exactly what they are, but there are very few things that use specialized equipment like theirs." He frowned. "I must say, I am curious about the mercenaries you repelled while you were there, and the woman who left with you."
Nate and I locked eyes and, for the first time since yesterday morning, he looked completely alert. "She was hiding from someone", he said slowly. "Those mercenaries were sent by that person."
"I see." Shaun's tone was neutral, but he wasn't just extremely intelligent, to lead an organization like the Institute, he'd have to be shrewd and cunning. I'm probably giving the man too much credit, but it would pay to be careful around him. This might be the only situation that doesn't involve military operations I'm better equipped to handle than Nate.
"Your omission is curious, but I understand I will have to earn your trust, being the Institute's leader." He hesitated, face still unreadable. "Even given our… unique relationship."
"I-" a myriad of emotions washed across my friend's face: sadness, uncertainty, confusion, and grief before it settled into a deep frown. "I've wanted so bad to find you since I woke up. But- there are a lot of people who helped me along the way, and I can't ignore them."
A solemn nod was Shaun's only response for a quiet moment. "That is admirable, father, and understandable given our reputation. As I said, I- hope to earn your trust. Spending what time I can with you has become… more important to me the older I get. Even if it- well- it isn't the way either of us wanted." If his uncertain, halting tone when his speech pattern was usually so controlled and collected was anything to go by, Nate's son seemed to be struggling with his emotions the same way I do. "The Institute is an amazing place, an amazing opportunity, but I have begun to think about everything I missed in its stead."
Nate's frown deepened and the hard crease around his eyes was the same one he had whenever he was upset. "If it was so amazing, they wouldn't have taken you from me. They wouldn't have killed your mother. They-" he caught himself and took a deep breath. "No matter their reasons Shaun, they stole you."
Silence settled back over the room as Shaun studied his father. It wasn't the same impassive stare he'd been wearing to this point, his eyes had a note of… sadness.
"Would you like to know why?"
"Why they stole you?" The older man nodded. "What good would that do me?"
"I do not expect it to be a comfort, but it will help you understand the importance I have had to the Institute. How important you are to the Institute."
The anger radiating from the ex-soldier didn't subside, but he offered a curt nod.
"The Institute's primary goal, as you heard, is the development of Synths. In the pursuit of perfection, they reached an impasse, and to progress further, they needed something they did not possess: pure human DNA. Those above ground are contaminated by endemic radiation, and even the members of the Institute had suffered from it."
I saw where this was going.
"So they decided the best place to go was a preserved baby, shielded from the bombs and radiation", Nate interrupted. Apparently he had too.
"Exactly. The third generation Synths are almost indistinguishable from the average human. That is thanks to my, and by extension, your untainted genetic material." Shaun motioned to himself, then his father. "The Institute used me to produce the greatest possible feat: a synthetic human. So you understand, every third generation Synth is related to us."
"At least we have a backup", Nate whispered. "That's what- that's what Kellogg said after he killed… Nora. 'At least we have a backup.' He was talking about using me as a test subject in case you didn't work."
The Institute leader nodded. "That would be correct."
Nate's anger returned in full force. "Son of a bitch. How can you be okay with that? They were treating you as some lab experiment- something they needed a backup plan for in case you didn't 'work out'."
As inhumane as that sounded, my perspective here was probably closer to Shaun's: an objective is an objective. Would I do what they did? No, but ONI would. Well… ONI did.
"I have had- much more time to consider this. I, unfortunately, cannot fix what has been done. All I can do is continue forward. I do not expect you to view the situation as I do."
Nate snorted. "You're right, that didn't make me feel any better."
"As I said", Shaun replied with a nod. Like a switch was thrown, the older man's demeanor changed from solemn to excited. "I would like to give you a tour of the facility, show you the work we are doing, but similar to you confiding in me, I will need to see you are committed to our cause before I can. On that note", he turned to me, "when would you like to undertake this assignment?"
I could go now, but Nate needed some time.
"Day after tomorrow. I need to meet with the Coursers I'll be working with."
Shaun nodded. "I will make the arrangements." He began to turn, but hesitated again. "Father- I truly hope you decide to support us."
With that, the Institute leader exited with his escort, leaving Nate and I alone in the relatively lavish apartment. He was still seething, but he did his best to keep a lid on it. My strong suit isn't talking, and I don't think he wanted to talk.
Well, I have the better part of two days to kill. This is going to be great.
A/N: So, no fighting here, but I don't think it would have fit with the chapter. We're dealing with a very difficult moment that has some... interesting repercussions in the near future. Well, here we are at the end again, but worry not, we'll have more to come, along with a few more interesting twists I have in the works for our main characters. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next time!
Next Chapter: 1/7, The Mission