Wrong Place, Right Time: A Hero's Story

by DLTA-BOT

The journey of a hero doesn't always start where they expect. It doesn't always happen to those who expect it. Damon was never interested in being what SPARTANs represent: an implacable force for good standing as humanity's shield. Like most other third-generation SPARTANs, the war took everything from him. All he wanted was to return the favor. Sometimes we don't get a choice.

34. Chapter 34: New Friends, Familiar Foes

A/N: Salutations and welcome! We've returned with another chapter along this hairbrained journey. For me, Nate's been a character I very well could have written a story of on his own. That wasn't the reason for doing this, but I did enjoy the opportunity it gave me to write from his perspective. He's got his problems, just like Damon and pretty much everyone else in this story, but he's much better adjusted to the world around him, or at least better at hiding the fact he isn't. The next few chapters will also give us an opportunity to better see who/what the Institute is, and the forces at play within it. Aaaanyways, leave a chapter if you are so inclined, and as always: enjoy!

Chapter 34: New Friends, Familiar Foes

Nate couldn't get comfortable.

He was laying 20 feet from the treeline of the forest to the north of Cambridge. 15 to either side were Coursers, X6-99 and Z4-19. Another was standing rear guard. The three of them were cloaked, using whatever light bending technology the Institute had come up with to create their ultimate infiltrators. Two of them were armed with the same strange, bulky rifles he'd seen X6-88 with after they'd- after they'd shot Damon.

Whatever those things were, they had enough punch to hurt the SPARTAN, Nate had no doubt they'd be sufficient for T-60.

That wasn't their purpose though; they were there for observation only. If they got action, they'd bug out immediately. It was something the former infantryman had insisted on. Sitting back in the Institute during their first assault was a no go for him. He'd spent almost two decades on the front line. It wasn't the same, being a passive observer, but he wanted to watch how this battle unfolded real time. With his own eyes.

Now they were in position and waiting for the assault to begin, he was regretting it.

Because he was uncomfortable.

It wasn't because of the cool, breezy night, or the fact the dirt he was laying on wasn't soft, smooth, or all dirt. It wasn't because they'd spent the better part of three hours creeping and crawling through the dead forest to avoid detection or the five hours they'd been laying there. It wasn't because he was about to watch a battle.

It was because Damon wasn't there to watch his back.

The armored man was the best fighter Nate had ever seen, and more than that, he knew he could trust Damon to come through in any-

He swallowed.

Almost any fight.

Now he didn't have that security blanket. Sure, he had three Coursers with him, but numbers were no substitute for the SPARTAN's experience and uncanny ability to pick up on any threats in the area. No doubt it was from years of operating on his own.

The ex-soldier glanced at his Pipboy, the bulky wrist mounted computer he'd come to rely on almost as much as Damon. 2227. Three minutes to watch change.

Mind on the mission.

He needed to focus. This wasn't just an Institute assault on the Brotherhood. This was an opportunity. Nate needed answers, answers why they wanted him so desperately. The attack was his first step on that path.

Their attack wouldn't be as simple as he'd originally hoped. The Brotherhood were good, and well drilled. He'd watched their last two rotations, and, unfortunately, they didn't make the rookie mistake of straight swapping their guards.

The crumbling town was far better fortified than it had been the first time around; the prefab emplacements they'd seen at the police station the first time through were spread around the town's borders, armor lookout stations every 30 feet. Several of the less damaged buildings around Cambridge would serve as quality positions by themselves. Most of the roads were still open, but they couldn't risk using those; they would be prime positions for snipers and mines.

On their rotations, they rippled their guard shifts instead of performing all of them at once. On top of that, the relieved soldiers stood guard with the incoming ones for an additional five minutes. All in all, a rotation on the north end of town, between the 15 different positions, took about 20 minutes.

During the deliberation with Jackson and Ayo, they decided they'd hit on the second to last rotation. By then, the number of incoming guards would be minimal, the guards now on station would be getting comfortable, and the last few would be eager to be relieved. From that point on, it would be a matter of a fast, effective first strike to put them off balance, and then the fighting would begin.

The small readout on the Pipboy switched to 2230 and Nate watched the first guard, the easternmost post, shift to allow a second on to their platform.

His mental clock began ticking.

A minute later, the second did the same. Then the third.

At the fifth, the first relieved guard climbed down behind the emplacement, and shortly after, the second followed.

The ex-soldier found himself instinctively practicing his old breathing techniques to calm his heartbeat and loosen his muscles. Can't shoot accurately if you're tense and nervous.

Difference here is he wouldn't be doing any shooting. The laser rifle he brought along for the light weight and relative quiet wouldn't be all that effective from this range, and definitely not against power armor if they showed up.

10th guard shift.

11th.

12th.

Nate checked his rifle anyway. It wasn't just force of habit, battles are wild and unpredictable. If he died, it wouldn't be because of laziness.

It might be because I got Damon killed though, his brain reminded him.

That didn't help.

13th.

One more.

The former infantryman resisted the urge to search the area around them. He wouldn't find any of the hidden Synths.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

In-

The 14th station's new guard appeared in the small, armored box and-

As if the Synths were programmed to synchronize their shots (which they probably were), the 20 muffled reports of laser fire sounded all at once. As Nate watched, he saw 13 of the 20 guards take a red spear of high energy light. 10 of them went down.

Before anyone on guard could respond, and as they'd discussed, a second, smaller volley followed a half second later. This time seven of the ten shots found their mark, and with that, all but two of the guards on the northern portion of Cambridge were down.

And now it was all about timing.

Even from Nate's position almost 600 feet from the town, he could hear the echoes of commotion erupt behind the low lying, weather worn, unmaintained buildings.

Something he'd noticed about the Brotherhood's tactics is they're extremely by the books. While that made them a sound fighting force, it also made them predictable. At this point, they know their guards are in compromised positions; they'll maintain several well hidden watch positions, most likely with sniper overwatch, but the rest would fall back and consolidate forces.

Li had been invaluable for this stage of planning. She wasn't well acquainted with the Brotherhood's military doctrine, but she did know enough to determine how best to hit them. Combine that with Nate's knowledge of Cambridge, having to pass through it for work almost every day for two years, they had an effective kill box.

The ex-soldier began counting seconds off in his head.

30.

29.

28.

Several Synths in their assault force continued to take occasional shots at guards who were no longer there, another 40% would be maintaining position, but remain hidden, and the rest would begin advancing on the town…

20.

Now.

Laser fire speared from several well enclosed positions in the town. Most of them came from deep shadows within half collapsed buildings. As soon as they did, the contingent of Synths they'd kept in hiding began peppering those positions with red streaks of their own. It continued back and forth, but the thing about fighting from a fixed position like a town was you made yourself a target. The enemy knows where you are, and once you fire, it's hard to hide. There are a million places attackers could be, and their freedom of movement was orders of magnitude better.

The sniper fire from the town began dwindling as the Institute forces continued their approach.

5.

Despite everything, Nate couldn't lie to himself; he was excited for what came next.

Suddenly, a dozen blinding flashes lit up the night and a split second later, explosions ripped through the town behind the Brotherhood's fortifications.

He smirked. The Brotherhood just found out the hard way they aren't the only ones who could learn.

Jackson thought it would be a bit of poetic justice to use their own tactics against them. Nate couldn't disagree. The fastest way to defeat any enemy position is to disrupt their defenses. There aren't many things better at that than bombs. A lot of bombs.

It was at this point the ex-soldier wished he had a larger force.

Another round of flashes burst into the night, signaling their dedicated insertion teams. At the same time, the advancing Synths reached the edge of town and took up positions just outside the perimeter.

Gunfire poured from the town, the bombs, and now small groups of Synths sowing chaos.

Unfortunately, this was the endgame for this attack. They didn't have the forces to take the town, not without compromising their own defense force. After talking it through with Shaun, Dr. Li, and Ayo, they decided what would effectively amount to a shot over the bow would be sufficient. Those squads in the town were deemed expendable, and would serve as a stark reminder to the Brotherhood: we can reach out and hit you whenever, wherever we want to.

Despite not being involved in the fighting, watching an operation go off so fluidly was cathartic. It wouldn't happen this way again, but at the very least the warning would make Maxson think twice about the next maneuver he makes.

It also served as a good test run for how a moderate sized Synth force would do against the Brotherhood.

Nate was pleased with the results.

A few minutes later, after ensuring there would be no Brotherhood forces growing adventurous, the forward guard began pulling back. The sounds of fighting from within the town were dying down and it was time to exfil.

Their message was sent, the Brotherhood's aggression would be met with the same. Any time they decided to hit, the Institute would hit back harder.

The ex-soldier's primary goal was also accomplished: he gave the Institute leadership a brief taste of combat victory. Now all he had to do was sprinkle in more, easier targets with more conventional hit and run tactics, and he should be able to keep them occupied. He'd of course be involved with the planning and execution of those assaults, but the busier he kept them, the better.

The better for him, for Dr. Li, and figuring out exactly what the hell Damon wanted to tell him.

Nate reached to his left, feeling for the small radio they'd given him and tapped the 'transmit' button for an instant, the Coursers' signal to exfil.

Subtle rustling came from his right. It was rustling quiet enough that, had he not spent two months with Damon who, despite being the size, and most likely weight, of a small car, moved almost silently, he would have missed.

He glanced over to see the hazy form of X6-88 resolve from the inky darkness.

As soon as the Courser was within a few feet of him, the blinding flash of light signifying the activation of the molecular relay consumed them.

Nate tensed as it did, body still recalling the trip through that landed him in the infirmary. To be fair, the broken arm would have anyways, but it hadn't helped.

This time, as the brilliant white faded into a view of the small, machinery filled room, his stomach stayed in its place, and his head didn't feel like it was trying to turn inside out. Of course, the same thing happened when they teleported out that morning, but that discomfort probably wasn't something that would change with one transit.

Once he and X6-88 moved out of the enclosure, it flashed again and a squad of Synths appeared on the platform, then another.

"Well done", Shaun's voice came from Nate's left. He turned to see the white haired man- his son that was almost 30 years older than him- standing with Jackson, Weller, Ayo, and Brown. "I believe the first stage has been successful."

The ex-soldier nodded, years of military discipline fighting against his exhaustion. One might not expect spending most of the day on your stomach would be tiring. That person had never spent hours on end crawling through a forest before forcing themselves to remain as still as possible, constantly on alert for threats. He wasn't old, but Nate's body wasn't as pliable as it had been in his early enlisted years. The past few months of humping back and forth across the Commonwealth with Damon… helped, but his muscles still ached, his eyes were fighting for rest, and he had to stifle a yawn.

"It was. Now we have to wait to see what happens." Nate noticed a slight shake in his hands that had nothing to do with exhaustion. His heart was still pounding and, despite his fatigue, his body still surged with adrenaline. Why? He hadn't been involved in the fighting. Was it-

He looked around the room as it dawned on him: he might not have been in the fight, but he just returned from a combat zone. It wasn't like his time in the military where, whether it's from a patrol or active gunfight, you had time to unwind. A moment ago he was in the field, watching a battle, and now he's in the safety of the Institute. The ex-soldier's body hadn't known he wouldn't be involved in the fighting, it just knew there was fighting, and two decades of experience told it to be ready.

"Nate?" Jackson's voice broke through his thoughts.

The former infantryman shook his head, trying to clear it of distractions.

"We'll go over this in the debrief. I'll meet you in the conference room in 20."

He needed to get cleaned and give himself some time to come back down.

The SRD trainer nodded.

With the tacit dismissal, Nate trudged toward the elevator that would take him down to the commons.

As he rode it down, his satisfaction began to wither. By the time the doors slid open, it was completely gone. In the few minutes it took to walk through the presently empty halls to get to his room, it had thoroughly been replaced by a sense of discontent. The attack accomplished what they'd intended, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

They'd sent a message, sure, but they hadn't gained anything. The Synths they lost in the attack would be replaced and then some in the next few days, but…

Cambridge had been in perfect position to be captured if they had more resources. Or the right resources.

While the ex-soldier pulled a new shirt over his head, he couldn't help but think they would have had no problem taking the town if Damon had been there. There were so many places the SPARTAN would have been useful. If he'd inserted with the Synth teams they teleported into the middle of town, Nate didn't want to think how much carnage he could have wreaked. How much time he could have bought their main forces to get inside the perimeter. How far he could have weakened their defenses.

The armored g- his friend would have been invaluable, would be invaluable. Not just fighting, but planning those battles.

But he wasn't there now. The ex-soldier stared at the floor, body tense, hands balled into fists. Damon had been a kid for all intents- 20 years old, never allowed to live any sort of life outside of fighting. He was just beginning to figure himself out, beginning to trust people. He trusted Nate and it got him killed.

As much as the former infantryman wanted to lament his absence, it was his fault the SPARTAN was gone. He wasn't the one who pulled the trigger, but he was the one who put him in the position a trigger could have been pulled.

Wipe out the Railroad? What had he been thinking? Deacon, Dez, Glory, Jeff, Harlan, Tom… Cass and Thomas. They weren't going to kill the kids, but they were going to kill people they'd grown fond of. Nate was going to make Damon do that for no other reason than Shaun and the Institute wanted it.

"You're no different from the UNSC to me."

His military. The military that turned a vulnerable, traumatized five year old kid into a weapon. Nate was no different than them? After what he'd done, how he tried to use Damon against the SPARTAN's own conscience, he couldn't disagree.

There's nothing I can do, and I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life. I still need to figure this out.

That was true, but it didn't help. It was so simple, one decision: tell Damon the Institute was waiting to ambush the Railroad. He was smart, he would have been able to put two and two together. The SPARTAN might be out for blood after that, but at least he'd still be alive.

But he couldn't do anything about it. Add Damon's death to the shopping list of regrets. He had no doubt more were on their way.

The debrief.

Nate shook his head. He needs to get himself right. They already know he's upset about how they used him, he can't give the Institute any reason to believe he was working behind their backs. The ex-soldier wasn't, strictly speaking, but depending on what happens with Dr. Li, that might change.

Pulling his boots on, the last image of Damon still hung heavy in his mind. The armored titan usually stood ramrod straight, up to his full, impressive height. As he stood in front of Cass and Thomas, almost as if he was standing between The ex-soldier and them, his shoulders were slumped, and his head pointed ever so slightly down. Nate had hurt him. What he'd tried to make the SPARTAN do hurt him. And then Cass and Thomas…

He swallowed, hard, and stood. Nate hadn't just betrayed Damon, he'd betrayed them too.

At this point, nothing he did could be for himself. The former infantryman would never be able to make up for what he did in those few minutes, not if he had 10 more lifetimes to try, but he was going to do everything he could. That starts with figuring out what the Institute wants.

While 'calm' might have been a little generous, Nate's hands weren't shaking, and he was down off the adrenaline high. His mind wasn't in a good place, but he didn't have any more time to fix that.

Five minutes later the ex-soldier was entering the brightly lit, painfully white conference room. Ayo, Jackson, Li, Weller, Brown, and… Shaun were all standing around the large conference table, waiting for him.

"Sorry to keep things waiting", he said in his best attempt to keep the thoughts running through his mind out of his voice. "It's a little strange to go right from the fight to a debrief."

"I understand", Shaun replied. "This is not time sensitive."

Nate nodded. "Right. So let's get things started." He stepped to the table and found a dozen images from the assault already laid out as well as a detailed timeline printed for each of them.

"Where would you like to begin?" Jackson asked.

The ex-soldier skimmed the timeline. It was good, stretching from the initial insertion, to the attack, and the exfil. It wasn't just his activity either, it was the different Synth units, and the resulting effects.

"Who put this together?"

"That would be one of our technicians", Ayo said.

Nate blinked at the small man. "A name would be nice."

"... Isaiah Strong."

"Get him in here."

The SRD leader snorted. "I do not believe that is necessary. We have the information-"

"I'm not playing this game, Ayo. I know you don't like me, you sure as hell didn't like Damon. I'm not putting up with your bullshit any more than he did. This is my operation and my command. I won't repeat myself."

His face adopted it's normal cherry red. "Who do you think you are? Your friend was at least an effective combat unit. You are merely a grunt who happens to have the most combat experience here."

As a brief pause fell over the conference room, Nate had to force himself to stand still. He wanted more than anything to reach across the table and wring the man's narrow neck.

"First", the ex-soldier ground out, "my friend was not just a combat unit. Second, I was a grunt, and I do have the most combat experience. You have none and it was only the efforts of the combat unit you aren't dead. Now. If I have to repeat myself, you will no longer be included in these meetings."

It was odd Shaun hadn't said anything. He'd been quick to shut Ayo down before. When Nate glanced at his son, the older man was watching the two of them with an appraising gaze. It made him feel as though the Institute leader were studying a specimen more than looking at another person. At his father.

"I believe including Mr. Strong in this debrief would be the best course of action", Dr. Li said, driving the uncomfortable, stilted silence away. "These are very succinct, well organized notes. He would certainly be productive in this discussion."

Nate's eyes stayed fixed on Ayo. He didn't like the man, and the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced the SRD leader was the one who originally suggested killing Damon.

After a few more seconds, Shaun cleared his throat. "I find myself in agreement."

As soon as the Institute leader spoke, Ayo relented. "I understand."

While he walked toward an intercom set in the wall, the ex-soldier gave an appreciative nod to the ARD leader. He wasn't in the mood to deal with that.

Over the next few minutes, while they waited for this technician, Nate studied the timeline in more detail. They were, in fact, extremely thorough. He smiled. That meant they could skip his least favorite part of debriefs: fact gathering.

A young man, maybe 25, appeared in the doorway holding a notebook and nervously tapping a pen against it. He was on the shorter side and, as he ceased the tapping for a moment to scratch at his dirty blonde hair, Nate noticed a thick bracelet of some sort around his wrist.

"Did- did you need some clarification on the mission summary?" Strong asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Nate put his copy of the timeline on the table and strode toward the door, a friendly smile drifting on to his face. "Isaiah?"

"Yes sir."

"Nate is fine", the ex-soldier said, sticking his right hand out. "These are some outstanding notes, I just thought you should be here to add any factual information as necessary."

The young man hesitantly took Nate's hand and shook it. "I see."

"Don't worry, everyone's nervous at their first debrief, especially if their work is part of it." He motioned toward the table. "Come on over."

Strong followed him back into the room and stood next to the ex-soldier at the table.

"Can we begin now?" Ayo said, clearly exasperated.

"If you wanted to use that time appropriately, you should have been studying the mission summary", Nate replied, voice cool enough to freeze water. He pointed to the position on the map they'd inserted, five miles north of Cambridge. "I think our teleportation location was good, especially for a larger emplacement. Considering we didn't know their rotation schedules, it wasn't a terrible plan, but the Brotherhood is going to change them now, so maintaining more regular surveillance will be necessary."

"Do you think we will need to make observation a priority for all targets?" Jackson asked.

"That would make sense", Dr. Weller replied, glancing at Nate. "Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this will make them far more careful with everything from their fortified positions to any supply routes."

"Yes", the ex-soldier said with a nod. "We have a lot more learning to do before we commit to any specific strategy."

Dr. Li leaned forward, looking at the images laid out on the table. "Do you think this will give us that opportunity? You're expecting them to change their tactics now we've shown we can hit them just as hard as they hit us."

"Maxson is smart, and a good leader. We may be able to use the same tactics, but he'll have preparations next time. We need to keep them guessing."

"Is that why you're suggesting such a wide variety of targets", Jackson asked.

"Yes. Most won't require this level of coordination, preparation, and execution. That's where I would like to begin with this op. The success rate on the opening shots was 50%. That isn't good enough. Those were stationary targets with clear sightlines. In a full scale engagement, that means we lose."

Brown frowned. "That does seem awfully low. What would be a target number?"

"At least 75%. The second round should be to pick off stragglers, not save the operation."

Jackson and Weller exchanged a glance before looking at Li before the smaller man looked to nate. "We will review the recordings to see what improvements can be made."

Jackson nodded his agreement. "I also think increasing the penetration power of our weapons should be a priority. Three guards were struck but survived. It seems reasonable to think they won't risk lightly armored patrols in the future. That means we'll be fighting against soldiers in their power armor."

"Agreed", Dr. Li said. "I have been experimenting with a few ideas on some of the T60 we recovered from the Brotherhood's assault. I hope to have something reportable shortly."

A small smile crept across Nate's face. Working with intelligent, competent people was always a pleasure. If there's one thing to be said for the Institute, it's they're intelligent, and some are competent.

"Good, I like it. The next phase we need to discuss is the counter-attack response. We need to develop a way for our forces to identify sniper positions before being shot at. Or at least potential positions. When the fighting moves into Boston, we'll get torn to shreds if we rely on responding to ambushes rather than anticipating them."

That's something Damon did better than anyone the ex-soldier had ever met. The SPARTAN had a seemingly supernatural ability to sniff enemy positions out. His type of missions probably beat that into him. It was almost scary.

If only he hadn't been distracted…

There's another reason Nate was responsible for his death; if it hadn't been for him, the SPARTAN would have been paying attention.

"I'm… not sure about that one", Jackson said. "We can program almost anything, but- well we need to know what to look for."

Nate shook the anger and sadness from his head. Now is not the time to lose it. "I'll work with you tomorrow to put a profile together."

"Okay."

From there on, the debrief continued largely on its own. The ex-soldier watched and absorbed information, occasionally redirecting or answering questions, but the scientists, mostly Jackson, Brown, and Li were all very good at identifying key topics.

It was an oddly eerie and comforting experience. He couldn't count how many of these he'd been through over the years. He wasn't in his time anymore, and he wasn't in the military, but some things never change no matter where, or when, you are.

But then as it drew to a close, it hit him. Nate had never been able to escape. He'd spent the majority of his adult life fighting a war. Now he's back. He's right where he left, but this time he had nothing to look forward to afterward. Even when he was in the midst of his military career, not sure when or if he would ever get out, he always had Nora to go back to, to look forward to. She's gone, Shaun is dying, Damon is dead, and the world is destroyed.

His only objective now was finding out why the Institute wanted him, and wanted Damon dead.

After that…?

One step at a time.

It didn't help he was fighting to keep his eyes open.

"We will begin planning our next attack once based on the reactions we see at Cambridge", Jackson's voice broke through his thoughts.

The ex-soldier nodded. "This next one should be a simultaneous strike. We need to throw as many curve balls at them as possible, and we can't let them establish an MO."

"Agreed", Weller said. "I would lean toward hitting a smaller target, like a patrol, outpost, or caravan."

That was where Nate would suggest going. The Brotherhood would be on deaf con 1. Trying to go after one of their fortified positions would be pointless until they can begin weakening their infrastructure.

"We will need to corroborate that target with intel about how they resupply. I think chipping away at their supply base is the best direction we can go. They'll know it, so things will be difficult, hence hitting multiple spots at once."

Brown cleared her throat. "We'll begin putting together… target packages?" Nate nodded. "Target packages once we have enough information."

"Good. Do we have anything else anyone would like to discuss?"

Dr. Li nodded. "I would like to meet with you and Dr. Jackson in the Advance Research Division to discuss some weapon modifications-" she glanced at the ex-soldier. "But that can wait until tomorrow."

His exhaustion must have been showing.

"Works for me."

"I am happy to help", the SRD tech echoed.

Nate looked around the conference table, and no one else spoke up. It was probably because between the slumping postures and slow, lethargic gazes, everyone looked as tired as he was.

"Alright, we all know what we need to do. Latest we should conduct our next assault is a week. We can't give them too long."

With that, everyone, including Nate, began filing out of the conference room. He was hungry, but that could wait. His legs felt leadened as he slogged toward his room. The exhaustion was about to put him on his ass, and he really wanted to be in bed when that happened.

As he neared the small apartment, his mind continued drifting back to the fight, to how the Brotherhood would react. Damon had gotten to see their base first hand when Proctor Ingram had taken him on a tour. There was no way they'd be able to attack the airport any time soon, but maybe he had an idea of how susceptible they would be to supply chain disruptions. If they weren't, they'd need to find a new way of weakening them. That wasn't a type of war he was experienced in fighting. That was, the SPARTAN's area of expertise.

"Hey Damon", he said, turning-

To an empty hallway.

The lump that formed in his throat threatened to block his breath and the ex-soldier's legs sagged in a way that had very little to do with his physical exhaustion. He braced himself against a steel wall and struggled to control his breathing.

Why did it always end up like this?

He felt like he did that night he had to race to the hospital, mom bleeding because that bastard didn't focus on him as usual. Nate couldn't get his attention off her.

Maybe she'd had enough of it too, because she just kept egging it on. The image of dark red blood seeping from her stomach into her yellow shirt, and then into the car's cloth seats. Her quick, labored breathing.

The panic, the fear. The anger as he watched her life spill out.

She'd protected him. And it cost her.

His mom survived, but after that- he couldn't go back. So he left. He ran. Like he always did.

And then he was alone.

Just like now. This time he had no one to blame but himself.

The ex-soldier pounded a fist into the wall.

Running. Always running. He didn't want to face what was in front of him, he tried to block it out, to focus on what he needed to do to help Shaun, help the Institute.

That cost Damon his life, even though the SPARTAN tried everything he could to help until he felt his only choice was to lash back out at Nate. He felt it was his only option to stop something… horrible. It was something, despite all of their arguments, he'd never done.

He wasn't doing this because there was something waiting for him afterward. He was doing it because he owed it to the people he cares about to stop running. Finally. He owed Nora answers about why she had to die. He owed Cass, Thomas, and Julian the safety and security they've never known.

He owes Damon for doing the right thing when Nate was too weak to.

Pushing himself away from the wall, Nate continued hobbling toward his apartment.

There are a lot of people he has debts to pay to, most of them he would never be able to settle.

But he'd be damned if he didn't try.

The former infantryman barely registered reaching his room, slipping his boots off and climbing into bed. His mind was too focused on what he had to do, and body too tired to entertain anything else.

He didn't know when he fell asleep either, but it didn't really matter; he was still thinking about the next move as he dreamed.

At this point, it was the only thing that mattered.

X

When Nate awoke the next morning, it was to a gentle knock at his door.

He craned his head around, stiff muscles protesting the movement, and checked the small clock on his bed stand. 0630.

Who was knocking this early in the morning. Especially after the attack yesterday.

Dragging himself from the soft, warm embrace of the bed, he shuffled to the front door, doing his best to rub the sleep from his eyes.

Keying it open, he found himself looking down at Helen. She was frowning at him

"Good-", the ex-soldier tried, but his voice was so thick it sounded like a grunt. He cleared his throat and gave it another shot. "Good morning."

"Good morning Nate. Can we talk?"

He blinked a few times, waiting for the words to make it to the right information centers in his brain and then waited even longer for it to form the response.

"... Why?"

"Because you've been avoiding discussing what happened last week, throwing yourself at this war and it isn't healthy. I may not officially be your doctor, but I did take the hippocratic oath. It's my responsibility to make sure you're properly cared for."

It's her responsibility to make sure he was properly cared for? Where was that when he was damn near manic after Damon brought Nora's body back? Where was that during the week before they orchestrated that ambush?

"It's a little late for that, Dr. Porter."

The psychiatrist shook her head. "It's never too late to be responsible and take care of yourself."

Never too late? Damon's dead. Nate grunted. "Can you bring someone back from the dead?"

"That isn't the point. You're still alive-"

"I'm still alive because the guy who died kept me alive. You said the bond between people who fight together isn't something you can understand, right?"

Her frown deepened. "Yes, but I'm also well acquainted with grief."

"Ah, right. Well Helen, so am I, and I can tell you talking about it right now isn't going to help." He sighed. Whether there were any ulterior motives, she seemed genuine, and there's something that has to be said for someone who is willing to take that burden on. But these people aren't the right ones to help him with this. It was their fault. "I understand you're trying to help, but what I need is to focus. I've been dealing with grief for a very long time. I know how I react to it."

"That may be true, but just because you've dealt with it however you do up to this point doesn't mean there aren't better ways to."

Ain't that the truth. Nate nodded. "You're right, but I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it considering the circumstances.

Porter's face twisted in confusion before the spark of realization hit.

"You blame us for what happened."

Nate couldn't help the amused smirk. "You think? Look, don't take this the wrong way, but I'll come to you when I'm ready to talk."

She blinked and opened her mouth, but no words came out. The two of them held each other's gaze and the shrink's mouth drifted shut. Eventually she offered a curt nod before turning to leave.

A pang of guilt shot through the ex-soldier as he watched her retreat down the hall. But then he remembered how she helped lead him along, helped push him to the point he was ready to betray the only friends he had in this shithole of a world.

The former infantryman needed to go to the ARD and meet Li. That was his next step, and he needed to continue down this path.

He owes too many people too much to get distracted.

After giving himself a few minutes to wake up all the way, Nate pulled his boots back on and left for the ARD. He stopped by the commons to grab a tray and loaded it with food for the three of them. This probably wouldn't be short, they might as well have something to eat.

The ex-soldier stopped before heading into the halls that would lead him to the Advanced Research division wing, gazing around the cavernous room. It really was a remarkable feat of engineering. With a ceiling so high above him, it almost felt like Nate was outside, and a dozen walkways spanning the open space, he was having trouble imagining just how all of this was constructed. Even with 200 years of time… it was genuinely awe inspiring.

It also meant he hadn't even seen a fraction of the Institute's facilities. So far the only places he'd been were portions of the ARD, BioScience, SRD, and some of the living quarters. What besides the Molecular Relay was in the dozen levels above?

With a mental shrug, the ex-soldier pushed the musings out of mind and headed for his appointment. He'd find out soon enough, one way or another.

Li asked for both him and Jackson, so this probably wouldn't be anything sensitive. That might be a good thing. The ex-soldier hadn't hid his displeasure about what happened, and they all knew there was some conversation between the ARD leader and Damon. No doubt Ayo and Shaun would be suspicious at the very least. Inviting the SRD tech gave them some cover, and they were trying to come up with more effective weapon systems.

The halls were still relatively empty, but a few scientists nodded as he passed in the halls. By now he had no doubt most of the Institute knew who he was and, ostensibly, why he was there.

When he arrived at the doctor's office, he balanced the tray on one hand and knocked on the door. It slid open an instant later to reveal both Jackson and Madison standing at her desk.

The way the technician was gathering himself, and a slight red tinge to his face, if Nate didn't know better, he'd have said the two were arguing.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Dr. Li shook her head. "We won't be in here. I'd like to go over a few things in the weapons development lab." She walked around the desk followed by a still miffed Jackson. "Follow me."

Nate stepped aside to allow them to pass. The SRD technician seemed very keen to avoid eye contact.

What's going on?

Following the pair, Li led them through the advanced research wing's branching halls, occasionally passing by a technician or an occupied lab. Without fail each of the scientists stopped and greeted them. It wasn't out of decorum though. The way each of them enthusiastically met their boss, and the energy she returned, it felt genuine.

Eventually they made it to the weapons development lab, a nice codename for what was, essentially, a shooting range with a workspace attached.

As the other two walked toward the firing booths, Nate set the tray of food down, grabbing what looked like a purple apple.

"There are two subjects I would like to address", the doctor said. Her tone suggested there was a bit more… gravity to whatever they were here to talk about than just weapons. "The first", she picked up what looked like a modified version of the Institute's laser rifle, "is this. One of the issues we discussed before the attack, and saw in action during it, was our weapons' lack of penetration. They were originally designed for use against unarmored targets- most opponents encountered by our forces don't have power armor."

The weapon in her hands had a larger body and a strange, pyramid shaped attachment on the front of the barrel. "Right… so I'm guessing that has more power."

Dr. Li nodded. "Correct. The fibers are larger and can carry more energy, and we put more focusing lenses along the laser's path to concentrate it's spot density to-" She frowned. "Testing has shown it will be able to penetrate a little over a quarter inch of steel armor plate with enough energy left to inflict serious injury."

It was Nate's turn to frown. "That's not enough."

"You don't say", Jackson interjected, his deep voice ladened with irritation. Nate squinted at him. The man was normally extremely patient and productive. Whatever had him upset must have been big.

"The other issue is the focusing lenses aren't… the highest quality, so the ones in our new housing", she tapped the odd shape on the front, "burn out after a few dozen discharges."

"So they're limited use and only effective against their standard combatants, not the ones in power armor. What about the other weapons I've seen the Coursers with. Everyone has been pretty quiet about those, and, well, I assume they hit hard since the Coursers used them on Damon."

"Those are magnetic accelerator rifles. Gauss rifles", the SRD tech said. "We only have a dozen of them. They take a lot of production time since the manufacturing tolerances are on the micron level."

Nate didn't speak anything smaller than 1/32 of an inch.

"What level?"

"About one fiftieth of the width of a human hair."

"Oh- oh. Okay. So we're limited on those." That didn't answer his secondary concern. "Why are people keeping them on the DL?"

Jackson grunted. "Ayo wants them to remain a secret, and the fewer people who know what they are, the better, in his eyes."

"He wanted to keep them secret from me."

The other man nodded.

So it was that motherfucker. He had those rifles stashed away for exactly that reason: to use them to ambush Damon.

Oh if he ever got the opportunity, Nate would enjoy wringing his neck.

"Alright, ignoring that for now, we have limited weaponry with which to hit the Brotherhood's primary forces since they use T-60." It's hard to beat an enemy if you can't hurt them. "Have we looked at more conventional weaponry?"

Dr. Li nodded. "We have. Ballistics reports suggest the rifle Damon had, which chambered a high velocity 7.62mm bullet, would be sufficient for any of their non-power armored combatants, and in… special circumstances, their power armor."

It wasn't a 'solution', they'd been all over the Commonwealth and that was the first time Nate had seen that rifle since waking up in this hellhole. The ex-soldier remembered it from his time serving, it fired .300 Winchester Magnum. That was a bad round, but it was rare, expensive, and could be a handful. "What do you mean 'special circumstances'?"

"Several shots to the same, local area, the lenses, or the articulating joints."

"So… it would take an expert marksman to make it work under the best conditions." And someone like the SPARTAN to make it work in combat.

Li nodded again. "Which leaves us with higher powered weaponry, and explosives."

"Most of the heavy weapons will be under the Brotherhood's control…" the ex-soldier mused.

Jackson cleared his throat. "Well, if we know where they are, that's the most difficult part, isn't it?"

The tech was suggesting they raid the Brotherhood for weapons? Nate blinked.

It wasn't a horrible idea… but it would be hard. "Not necessarily…" Wait… Maxson doesn't have the resources to clear the city and track down every piece of hardware out there. If he did, this war was already over. That means if they can scavenge some of the harder to reach areas… they were in business.

And Nate knew where they might find some good hardware.

"Dr. Li, if we had the equipment to make our own weapons, how long would it take to begin production?"

She frowned. "Most conventional firearms are simple to build when compared to direct energy weapons… Our machinery would be more than capable of doing it now, but development would take time."

"We might be able to shortcut that. A while back Damon- Damon and I were supposed to retrieve supplies from a production facility near the coast. As far as I know, it has more than enough equipment to make what we need, and we can reproduce those designs to increase production."

The two Institute scientists exchanged a glance.

"How do you know about it?" Jackson asked.

The former infantryman grunted. "Have you ever heard of Kleo?"

They shared another glance.

"...Yes."

"Well we were supposed to run it for her. We got double crossed and never got within five miles of it. Apparently it's an unknown location in one of the most dangerous parts of the city."

Silence invaded the small 'lab' as Nate's two companions considered his suggestion. It wasn't a total solution to their problem, but it was definitely a start.

"Okay, I think that's something we can act on", Dr Li said with a curt nod. "At the very least it might give us the resources to hit a Brotherhood position and scavenge weapons from them." She set the rifle down. "Now for the second thing I would like to discuss." The ARD leader frowned, looking decidedly unhappy all of a sudden. "This is not something I would normally do this way, but recent events have made things complicated." She looked at Jackson.

"We're really going to do it like this? We can't trust him yet."

Trust me? Trust me with what? He had no doubt it had something to do with what Li wanted from Damon, but there were so many different things that could mean, speculation was pointless.

"No, we can't, but if he's doing this for them, we're already outed. If he isn't, we have a massive opportunity to combine our efforts with the fight against the Brotherhood."

"But we-

Nate waved his hands. "Okay, I think I've had enough of this, I'm standing right here. I'm guessing this is the argument you were having before I arrived."

"That is correct", Dr. Li said. "We… would like your assistance." She hesitated, chewing on her lower lip. After a dozen quiet heartbeats, the division leader nodded to herself. "We need you to organize an operation that will occupy the other leadership for at least half an hour. I will not inform you what specifically it is for, but it is a way for you to earn my confidence. I do not know what Shaun has planned for you, but considering what the current state of the Institute is, I am not comfortable waiting to find out. There are two many coincidences and unanswered questions. Our discussion has me spending more time thinking about those unknowns than my normal duties."

"So you need half an hour to do… something you don't want anyone else to see." The ex-soldier frowned. "I'm not a fan of the Institute, but if this is something to help the Brotherhood-"

"Don't insult me. I may have once been Brotherhood, but as I told Damon, their current leadership and I do not see eye to eye. And if I had been acting as a Brotherhood agent, don't you think I would have acted on that before now?"

"I don't know. You're asking me to trust you without giving me anything in return."

Jackson stepped forward. "You don't understand what's at stake for us. The only reason we're asking you for this is because we have no other choice. That should be enough reason for you to believe us."

Nate held the scientist's gaze for a few silent seconds before turning to Li. "I get answers after I do this."

"If everything goes according to plan, that would have happened anyway."

The ex-soldier grunted. "You aren't making this easy."

"You aren't the only one it's difficult for", Jackson said.

If he did this, it would get him another step closer to finding his answers. Nate wasn't sure exactly how, but having allies in high places is invaluable. He also didn't know what those answers might be, but that didn't matter right now. What mattered was he had an opportunity to get closer.

"When do you need this window?"

"As long as it's within the next week, the when is up to you. I understand how rushing an operation can lead to… difficulties."

"Yeah…" A week wasn't much time to set up an operation, especially with as little information as they had, and without knowing how the Brotherhood's strategies and tactics would change. That meant if they wanted it to be successful, which would be essential to selling this as a legitimate operation, it couldn't involve them. No intel on supplies, local farms and suppliers, or supply lines, so those were out.

Unless… "If it needs to be soon, maybe we go after those weapons supplies."

Jackson cocked an eyebrow. "You're trying to avoid the Brotherhood?" He nodded. "I guess that makes sense, we don't want to risk a rush plan into action. Problem is, if they catch wind of us doing this, like a large Synth force in the area, they might figure out what we're up to."

"Can we send a small team of scientists with an escort?" It would be a lot more innocuous if people in the area believed the supplies, if they're still where Kleo told them, were taken by some new group in the area.

To his disappointment, Li shook her head. "Father won't let anyone out of the Institute, especially now with the war happening. I find myself in agreement. If they manage to capture one of our scientists, it would be a massive blow to our security, not to mention one of our people would be subject to tortute."

An image of Julian flashed through the ex-soldier's head.

They wouldn't torture him, he doesn't have any information they needed. If anything, Damon had probably been right: they'd be turning him into a child soldier.

… Like that was any better.

"Coursers can pass for regular people, so long as no one talks with them, right?"

"Any of the gen three Synths can. Many of our non-combat threes can pass for human period." Jackson smiled. "You've probably met plenty of them without noticing. Most of the low level technicians are gen three Synths."

The ex-soldier blinked. "Really?"

Dr. Li nodded. "That's correct, though, with recent escapes, they won't let any threes out of the Institute either."

Of course. "It's never going to be simple."

"Never", the older woman said with a smile.

"Right. I'll put some thought into it, but this isn't charity. I need to figure out what's going on here, so when this is over, you let me in on whatever you aren't telling me."

"Agreed."

"Good." Nate, sensing the conversation was coming to a close, walked over to the mostly untouched tray of food and picked a few fruits from it. "I hope you can help me- I'm not sure where else to go at this point."

Maybe the ex-soldier was being sentimental, but they were trusting him, the least he could do was be open. Li knew why he came to her, and he had no doubts she'd discussed that with Jackson and whoever else was in their circle. Reinforcement was a good way to build trust though, and he- he needed some trust. He needed some after destroying what little he had.

"We know", Li said. "This could be an opportunity for all of us."

This could be an opportunity for all of us? That could mean a hundred different things; if she thought he was an informant, maybe they'd try to play him, if they didn't believe he'd be useful in the long run, betrayal was another opportunity.

Nate shrugged mentally. If they were just using him, it wasn't like he didn't deserve it.

"Yeah. I'll do anything to- at least try to fix what I've done." There was no way he ever could, but it was his responsibility to try.

The ARD leader nodded and Nate took that as his cue to leave the firing range.

As he headed back toward the commons, Nate ran the conversation back through his head. The tail end of it reminded him of something, and considering they were talking about surveillance, he needed to find Shaun. One of the last things both the infantryman and Damon agreed on was focusing what scouting they could on finding Julian. It's been a week and a half since then, not enough time to come up with anything concrete, probably, but Nate still wanted to see what they'd done thus far.

But, oddly enough, he had a new problem: the ex-soldier had no clue where to find his son. He probably should have asked before leaving… Smooth move.

More technicians and scientists were roaming the halls now though. He stopped one, a short, slender woman with almost jet black hair and glasses so large they looked like they might fall off. "Excuse me, do you know where I can find Sh- Father?"

"Yes", she said, nodding. "His office is on the third floor of the Hub." The scientist pointed down the hall toward the Commons. "You can reach it using the same staircase you use to get to the cafeteria. It's just one level above that."

Nate smiled. "Thanks."

"Of course." With that the small woman continued on her way. He had little doubt she knew who he was.

Following her instructions, the ex-soldier weaved through the ARD until he reached the Institute's monumental central hub. The climb toward his son's office was… odd. He didn't know what to expect. Shaun seemed genuine when he told them they would dedicate some of their surveillance to finding Julian.

But he lied before.

Damon promised he'd find the young boy and bring him back. Nate had to before- before he betrayed them. That's another thing he needed to do, not only because he gave his word, but because those kids had already been through enough. It wasn't fair he added onto that, pushing the SPARTAN, someone they were extremely attached to, into almost betraying them to.

Then getting him killed.

Just one more irredeemable mistake on the list.

Nate passed several more Institute members on his way up the well lit, white washed staircase. Most either nodded to him, or offered a polite hello. It was… strange knowing they knew he was their leader's father, yet younger than Shaun. What would that be like for them?

Not important right now. The ex-soldier pushed the thoughts from his mind as he arrived at the top of the staircase. The door to Shaun's office was already open, and he caught a glimpse of his son sitting behind a wide, steel frame, glass topped desk. He was talking with Holdren and another scientist with the green stripe across their otherwise white coveralls signifying they were from the BioScience division.

"-seems to be the best allocation of our resources", his ever calm voice drifted through the door.

"I agree", the unknown man said in a voice that was more than a little nervous. "But Father, if we increase our yield, it would have the same effect long term while improving our efficiency."

"Yes, but we have to consider we do not have time to implement these improvements. That is to mention nothing of the intensive manufacturing requirements while the ARD must focus on this damned war."

Nate stopped at the door as Shaun turned to the BioScience leader. "Do you have the equipment to increase production capacity?"

The blonde haired man nodded. "Some of it, but we will still need more incubators and circulatory pumps."

"I will speak with Dr. Li and see if we can have those made." The Institute leader turned back to the other scientist. "You improvements are a fantastic idea and I commend your efforts, Christian. Please do not stop your work on them. As soon as the ARD has the opportunity to study the designs for manufacturability, we will begin efforts to implement them."

After a heartbeat of silence, the other man nodded. "Thank you, Father. Your approval is much appreciated." His voice was almost… reverent.

As the man spoke, Shaun seemed to notice Nate standing in the doorway. "Father, hello. Please, please come in."

Despite the excited inclination of the words, the older man's tone didn't shift from it's regular, monotonous buzz.

Nate hesitated a moment as the office's other two occupants turned to face him. Whatever was running through their minds stayed well hidden behind poker faces the infantryman would have hated to play against.

"Thanks", he said uncertainly as he trudged through the door. This was his son, and these people were his subordinates, but Shaun was also someone who'd already lived a lifetime he barely knew. On top of that, the Institute leader had already shown a penchant for manipulating people, even him, for whatever reason he saw fit. He has a lot more experience doing it than Nate. What if he tries again? Will the ex-soldier know?

"May we have some privacy?" Shaun said and the other two wordlessly left the room as Nate approached the desk. The large office was mostly bare except for the desk, a few chairs, and a scattering of shelves along the walls. Behind his son was a window that stretched from floor to ceiling and both walls. It overlooked the Commons, with a fantastic view of the multitude of walkways and planters on the bottom floor. For the interior of an underground bunker, it wasn't bad. He hadn't noticed it from the outside though. Was it one way?

"How was the discussion with Dr. Li and Jackson?" he continued, standing to greet Nate.

The ex-soldier shook the thoughts away. He needed to focus.

"It was… enlightening. It, along with what we saw last night… we need another option for combat."

"Do you have any thoughts in mind?"

Nate nodded. "Yes, but that isn't what I came to talk about. I want to put a few heads together before we propose anything." The ex-soldier took a deep breath. He was nervous. He was nervous around his own son.

This wasn't the toddler he remembered though.

"I wanted to talk about Julian, and if there's been any developments on finding him."

Shaun frowned. "Nothing yet, though Ayo has allocated two teams of Coursers to investigate his whereabouts. It will be difficult and slow moving, though. None of our normal processes will work here."

Processes. They really don't think of intelligence gathering and war fighting as what it is. This isn't another math problem.

Giving voice to those thoughts wouldn't be productive though.

"I understand, and I appreciate you're putting resources to finding him."

"Yes…" Shaun's voice trailed off and his gray, emotionless eyes bore into the ex-soldier. He knew Nate wasn't saying everything. "I have heard you are not meeting with Dr. Porter."

"That's right."

"May I ask why?"

So his son was testing him. What was the right approach? Play coy and give excuses? No… The Institute seems like an organization that likes its cloak and dagger. That means anyone at the top of it has ample experience playing that game. Sometimes the best way to beat someone is to bypass their defenses altogether. In this case, that meant not playing the subterfuge game.

"Shaun- tell me what you think happened with Damon?"

"As I said, we eliminated a threat."

Nate blinked. "Come on. I may not be one of your scientists, but I'm not dumb. Let's treat each other like adults."

The ghost of a smirk quirked the corners of the older man's mouth. "Fair enough." He walked around the desk and stood in front of Nate. "We did what was necessary to eliminate Damon. I think we can both agree he was possibly the most dangerous single person in the Commonwealth."

"Not possibly", the ex-soldier said, eyes narrowed. "Don't dress this up Shaun. He was far and away the most dangerous person in the Commonwealth and you were afraid of him. You used me, his trust in me, to ambush him. You didn't know if you'd be able to kill him otherwise."

"That is correct. But I am sure you are aware having to battle on three fronts would not have been tenable, especially with something like your friend running around doing as he pleases."

Something, huh? "Shaun… Damon would have helped us if you'd given him the chance."

"He clearly wouldn't have. He didn't-"

"Attack the Railroad? Yeah, and you know damn well why. Try telling me you didn't do that to lead to this exact outcome."

Shaun paused, studying the ex-soldier with a gaze that looked like he was examining an interesting specimen rather than another human. Than his father.

"Since you seem to have put a lot of thought into this, why don't you make your point?"

"You used me, you alienated me from the only other group I had good standing with, and you killed my best friend who also happened to be the biggest threat to the Institute in your opinion." Nate snorted. "If that isn't efficient I don't know what is. I'm here to help, but I do that with the understanding I will be privy to how I'm helping."

This time the older man's eyes narrowed. "It appears you have quite strong opinions on the matter. What is my guarantee you are here to help?"

"You made sure I don't have another option. And besides…" Nate bit his lower lip and averted his eyes for an instant. "You're my son, Shaun. I wasn't there for you. I want to get to know the man you became. And the Institute seems like the best place to be in this hellhole."

Another moment of silence passed between the two while Shaun studied his father. Nate couldn't tell what was passing through the white haired man's head, but that seemed to be a constant.

"Hmmm", Shaun said eventually. "While that is no guarantee, I believe it is sufficient. Contrary to what you might think, I do want the opportunity to learn who you are, and the best way to do that is to preserve the Institute."

You say that like it's my responsibility to approach this different now. "I think trust is something we'll have to build." The ex-soldier's tone bordered on accusatory.

The older man cocked an eyebrow. "On that we agree. To that end, what is this idea you'd like to plan out?"

X

Nate must be a masochist. There's no other reason he'd keep doing this. He could only imagine what Nora or Damon would think of him insisting on going out himself. Putting himself in the middle of a potential fight, in the center of the destroyed city.

Especially without Damon's ever vigilant presence to sniff out the ambushes that would undoubtedly be waiting for them.

No, Instead of the SPARTAN, Nate would have a dozen Coursers dressed in… well they weren't regular apparel for the Commonwealth citizens which generally consisted of tattered and worn clothes. As with everything in the Institute, the clothes they would be wearing were freshly synthesized and clean. They'd pass at a cursory glance, but anything closer than that would be a dead giveaway.

Luckily, the small recon group they'd sent in to scout the area reported it was largely clear. That didn't necessarily mean they wouldn't run into any resistance, but at the very least it was unlikely.

"Why would you place yourself at risk", Shaun had asked when the ex-soldier suggested he lead the team of Coursers to the factory.

"We need at least one person capable of interacting with people we stumble across up there, and risking a scientist who may have more valuable information on the Institute than me is a bad idea. I was infantry, this is the type of thing I'm used to doing."

"Losing you would set back out efforts against the Brotherhood massively."

Nate couldn't stop his derisive snort. "That didn't stop you from killing Damon."

"I am starting to believe this is a ruse", Ayo said with his usual level of incredulity. "You seem quite upset about the fate of your friend-"

"No shit I'm upset about it", the ex-soldier barked. "He was my friend. It's someone you have a positive relationship with, since I know you don't have those." The shot at the end was petty, but the SRD leader was an insufferable asshole.

"That is not what this is about. You pose a risk to us. Whether you're captured by the Brotherhood, or are working for them, if you leave and end up in their hands, you give them all the information you have on our war efforts."

"And if I don't, this operation is really unlikely to pay off, and if it doesn't we have limited capability to fight them anyway." Nate turned back to his white haired son. "I am the best option we have to go with here."

"I agree", Jackson said. "We discussed this after showing him the progress Dr. Li has made increasing our standard weapons' penetration this morning. Since we have limited use of- other arms, the best short term option will be to utilize high powered conventional firearms. If we can jumpstart our production with these supplies, it's worth the risk."

Shaun turned to Weller and Brown who were standing beside the dark skinned man. "Do you two agree?"

Weller responded with a nod, but Brown hesitated. Her eyes darted between Nate and Ayo, clearly unsure of whether she should disagree with her boss. When they settled on him, he knew her answer.

"I see the reasoning behind it, but I am inclined to agree with Dr. Ayo. You are an extremely important asset to the Institute and it's war effort. Risking your life would leave us without our most experienced combatant."

"There are plenty of ways to minimize the risks", Madison said, "but the repercussions of not doing something to increase our fighting capacity would be dire. We barely survived a small incursion, mostly due to the efforts of a man we no longer have access to." She shot Ayo a glare.

The SRD leader scoffed. "A man you had break into the FEV lab-"

"You are still making spurious claims, Ayo."

"And how do we know you aren't sending him out there to be captured by the Brotherhood?"

Nate cleared his throat. This didn't need to go that direction, the fewer questions they asked, the less time they spent interested in Li, the better. "It was my idea which is one of the reasons I'm volunteering to be the one who takes this risk. Besides, I know this city better than anyone here. Just like with fighting, a physical map is useful, but first hand knowledge will always be better."

"Dr. Ayo", Shaun said, turning to the man who, ostensibly, was in command of their most elite forces, "can you guarantee the safety of this operation? I need to know my father will not be placed in undo danger."

The small man, after a moment, tore his glare from Dr. Li and met Shaun's gaze. "The Coursers are more than capable of doing so. We have, after all, designed them to be the best combat units available."

"Uh huh", Nate muttered under his breath.

Shaun nodded. "Good. As Dr. Li stated, we do not have any evidence to suggest she is responsible for the FEV lab breach, and it does not help our cause to be at each others' throats."

No one else responded, and Madison seemed happy to refocus the conversation on the matter at hand.

"If we've agreed I'm going then", the ex-soldier said before Ayo could make any other accusations, "we need to come up with a plan. The last time I was there with Damon, we were ambushed twice. First thing is a recon team to clear the immediate area and secure an insertion point, preferable near the target and in a secluded location."

"Considering the goal is to maintain secrecy, we also need to ensure if there are any witnesses, they are subdued, be that captured or killed", Dr. Li said.

Killed. They would most likely resort to lethal force.

Nate shook his head. "No killing unless absolutely necessary. On the chance we run into opposition, if we kill them and word gets out, we'll have even more trouble moving and operating, especially in the city."

"Our standing surveillance has also reported an increased presence of Supermutants in the city", Ayo said, the firm, clipped tone suggesting he didn't like what he was saying. "I find myself in agreement with Nate; the less attention we draw the better. The reconnaissance force will be constituted of Coursers. They can use their stealth capabilities to covertly scout the area."

"Okay", the former infantryman said, "get a squad together and we'll come up with a target location."

The SRD leader glared at Nate as he finished the order. Ayo had a massive inferiority complex, and he clearly didn't like taking commands from anyone but Shaun. Tough luck, this is Nate's show, and until something happens to change that, Ayo could get on board or get left behind. He is responsible for planning Damon's death after all, even if it was the ex-soldier who could have changed that. The younger man had every reason to dislike Ayo, but until it became a hindrance, he'd allow the man's continued contribution. He was a soldier.

Nate adopted the tone Martin used to call his 'shifting voice'. The joke was he did it to put someone's ass in gear. "Dr. Ayo, I won't repeat myself."

Silence dragged on for a few more heartbeats before the smaller man sneered. "As you wish, sir."

Half tempted to throttle him as the division leader turned to leave, Nate took a deep, steadying breath. Maybe he'd get his revenge on the man someday. That wasn't today though; he isn't Damon, he needs more resources before doing anything.

Turning back to the table with the large map laid across it, he began studying the segment of the city he remembered Kleo's men circling.

Pointing to it he said, "do we have any preliminary information on this area?"

"Before we go there", Shaun interrupted, "I would like to ask why you are also asking us to coordinate and deploy our reconnaissance teams at the same time. It seems our attention should be on this operation considering its criticality."

Nate couldn't tell him the actual reason, the more moving parts they had, the more space Li and her people would have to move, but there was a strategic one as well.

"If the Brotherhood has a way to tap into the Molecular Relay network, we don't know what else they're capable of. If they can track it, sending only one party out would light up like a flare."

"But they don't", Weller said, "If they did, they would have known where we put our forces before the assault on Cambridge."

The ex-soldier silently cursed and had to resist the urge to glance at Jackson for help. Whatever else could be said about Institute scientists, they're sharp.

"It's possible they don't, but we can't know for sure yet." He held up a hand to head off whatever retort the man had. "We might have been lucky a thousand different ways, but there's no point taking that risk with such an important operation. The more diversions we have up there the better." Nate looked at his son. "Besides, this works in the recon force's favor as well: we're getting them in the field, and giving them the same sort of cover."

Their first round of recon forces were a dozen two man teams of Coursers. It was a significant portion of the SRD's units, but they could be used for more than information gathering. If a team came across a place of interest, and it was vulnerable, they had the ability to engage.

Soon enough they would be putting more conventional units in the field as well, but that will take time. For now the Coursers are already well versed in surveillance and espionage, and they were their best option.

Shaun nodded. "I believe this is something we can handle." The older man turned to Weller, Brown, and Jackson. "Do we have a timetable established for their deployment?"

The dark skinned man nodded. "Yes. After this topic came up in our discussion this morning, I put those together, assuming some leeway for the recovery team."

"Good. Let's prepare those teams to deploy as well."

Jackson nodded a little too eagerly. "On it."

"So", Nate said, "back to this mission."

Two hours of planning, and eight of waiting for the recon force to depart and report back later, Nate was standing in a Molecular Relay bay, butterflies in his stomach. He was nervous. Very nervous. The last time he was in this area of the city, he'd been shot, almost killed. And that was with Damon watching his back. Maybe the Coursers were good enough to keep him safe, but he didn't trust them. At least not the way he trusted Damon.

I've already decided to do this, so focus on what I need to do, forget about the rest.

Nate wasn't sure he'd ever be able to get back in the Zone, not like he did during his years in service. That was broken after watching his sister platoon ambushed.

But his best bet for figuring out exactly what's going on was getting as close as he could.

He owed it to Nora and Damon.

A/N: Ah yes, another double entendre chapter title. There are several important, even key, developments in this chapter and I hope I'm doing the events here justice. Nate is (clearly) having a lot of problems, but like all of us, he's doing his best in the absolutely FUBAR situation he's found himself in. That's all for this week though, like I said, I'm going to be posting 3 chapters each month now, so I'll see everyone next week!

Next Chapter: 4/22, The Price of Responsibility