A/N: It's Friday again! (For me, anyway). So what does that mean? Well for you it means another chapter, for me it means another 600 mile road trip (yay). Writing this part of the story (not just this chapter, but several others too) has been difficult. It's an odd combination: they dive further into the idea of a character study, both for Damon and the other characters, while at the same time expanding the world since the focus is no longer the dynamic between Nate and Damon. I've had to rewrite some things several times, but I like the product so far. Anyway, that's enough rambling for now, leave a review if you're so inclined and, as always, enjoy!
Chapter 43: Little White Lies
I barely had enough time to get a few bites of whatever fruit Alexandra had given me before I heard a half dozen people approaching the house. They were talking, but I couldn't make out the words.
Whatever was going on, it was either trouble, since I'm sitting next to the armory, or they're coming for me.
As they reached the front of the house, I slipped my helmet back on and stood.
"-the hell is going on Sturges", Preston said as the group neared the room.
There was no reply and a few seconds later, the engineer appeared in the doorway, glaring up at me with fury in his eyes. He didn't say anything and whoever else was with him stopped. Preston fell silent.
It was several seconds of silence before I realized what must have happened.
And that wasn't a good thing.
"You told them I was here", I said, voice low.
Shit. Shit. How the hell am I going to make this work now? They won't meet with me, and they sure as hell won't take Andrew.
"There's a reason I told you not to." I couldn't keep the heat out of my voice.
"You're goddamn right there was a reason", Sturges shot back. The anger in his tone matched his reddening face. "I trusted you with this- I put you in touch with the Railroad. These people saved my life- saved countless others and you-"
"I didn't do anything", I barked. "If it wasn't me, the Institute would have sent someone else, and they wouldn't have had a warning."
The engineer snorted. "No, no, you're right. You just went there to kill 'em yourself. That makes it better."
"No, Sturges, what makes it better is I didn't kill them."
"Is that what you tell yourself?" he shouted. "Is that how you sleep at night? You tell yourself you saved them?"
I barely sleep.
"No", I roared back, but before I could continue, the image of Cass and Tommy being pulled away by Glory, staring back at me with fear and confusion in their eyes, and resignation on their faces doused every ounce of anger I had. "No", I repeated, barely above a whisper. "You're right: I didn't save them. I just didn't kill them. They would have been attacked either way. Nate was going to show the Institute where their hideout was whether I helped or not."
"That does me a whole lotta good Damon. And here you were, asking me to help you find them again." Sturges scoffed. "You're a real piece of work. You can go to hell before I let you anywhere near the Railroad."
With that, he shoved his way past Preston who was standing beside him in the doorway. Several sets of footsteps followed him out, but the Minuteman remained standing in the hall, face unreadable.
"So I gather when you said you didn't attack the Railroad like the Institute wanted, you at least went there to attack them and… had your falling out."
Dammit… when is this shit going to stop following me? How was I supposed to do this?
"Yes."
"So, what? You went there to warn them?"
I shook my head. "I almost attacked them." Sighing, I tilted my head back and looked at the dilapidated ceiling. "Shaun, wanted me to. He wanted to get rid of the Railroad so they could focus on the war with the Brotherhood. I was a half-second away from doing it."
The dark-skinned man grunted. "What happened?"
"Don't know", I said with a shrug as I looked back down to meet his gaze. "Grew a conscience? I didn't kill them, they ran, and the Institute ambushed me."
"And that's this falling out you and Nate had."
"The end of it."
"Uh-huh." Preston frowned, eyes roaming like he was seeing me for the first time. "And you didn't tell us this because…?"
I motioned toward the front of the house. "That."
"Well, you see how well that worked out for you."
No shit. "This isn't something any of you should get involved in."
That got the Minuteman angry. "Goddammit Damon, do you think we're sitting around here with our thumbs up our asses waiting for you to save us from the big bad Institute and Brotherhood?"
You did ask me to kill those Gunners for you.
"No", he continued, "we've built something here, we've taken our fair share of fights over the past few months. This is our home and we fight for it every day."
As Preston finished, my mind drew a blank. It was the same thing he said to me last time, but I got the sense it meant more now. A plucky attitude and a few victories over Raiders isn't going to change anything though. The Brotherhood and the Institute are both much better equipped and trained than the odd band of drugged-up Raiders.
"You just gonna stand there?" the man asked, eyes burning underneath his wide-brimmed hat. "You don't get to decide what fights we take and what fights we don't."
I shook my head again. "You don't want a fight like this."
"So, what, we're supposed to trust you with keeping us safe? That's bullshit Damon and you know it."
My temper flared. Oh really? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me.
"So what happened back in Concord?"
The Minuteman's face grew hard as stone. "What happened in Concord? You think we're as unprepared as we were back then? You think we're the same as we were back then?" He stepped into the room, eyes burning into my visor. "You think we haven't learned anything since then? That we rely on you the way we had to back then? We aren't children you giant metal asshole, and everyone here has been through hell. Don't you dare think you can treat us like we're helpless. You came to us looking for help and you couldn't even do us the goddamn courtesy of telling us what we're supposed to help you with."
He was right, and he knew I knew that. Even with the steely expression on his face, I could see it in his eyes.
Coming had been a mistake.
"I'll be out of the way in a few minutes-"
"Like hell you will." Preston's lips twitched. "Sit your ass down and finish eating. I need to go talk with Sturges, then we'll figure out what we're doing from there."
You're giving me commands.
"I'm not getting you involved in this, even if you can look after yourselves."
"Oh yeah?" he asked. "So what are you gonna do? The Railroad's out. Do you have another plan?"
I nodded. "Destroy the Brotherhood, then the Institute."
"And how do you suppose you're going to do that?"
"The same way I always do. The longer I stay here, the more danger I put everyone in."
The Minuteman scoffed again. "You know what, maybe you will take both of them down, but how much of the Commonwealth are you gonna wreck doing it? How long are we gonna be stuck in the middle of this war while the three of you fight it out." He threw up his hands. "This isn't a pissing contest; the more support you got, the easier all of this will be, and the faster you'll get it done."
Why do you think I was going to the Railroad?
"And how are you going to help?"
Preston gestured around himself. "We've got 500 people across 15 settlements, with plenty more thinkin about joining, and more guns and bullets than we need. More than that, we've established trade relations with both Diamond City and Goodneighbor as well as a few dozen smaller settlements and farms." A small smile slipped across his face. "I may not be a soldier, but I know a network like that is more than a little useful."
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't argue. I don't need supplies, and what combat support they could provide, I don't want. I don't want these people to get hurt because of my mistakes. It isn't the mistakes I might make during a fight, I'll be damned if I let that happen again, my mistakes go way further back. The Brotherhood, the Institute, Maxson, Shaun, Nate. If I'd been more careful, I wouldn't be in this situation.
What he was offering though, was a network that could gather information, move resources, and provide that support. Given enough time, and a little luck, I could take care of the Brotherhood (as long as the Institute plays by my rules). The Institute will be harder, but that's why I'm waiting on them.
"I'm not asking, by the way", the dark-skinned man said, apparently tired of waiting for me to say something. "We're going to get involved whether you want us to or not. The Brotherhood has been getting closer and closer to our people. From what we've seen, we don't want any part of what they have to offer, or what they want to take from us. This is our fight."
Why is he so determined to join a war? Fighting to defend your home and fighting a war are worlds apart. "It doesn't need to be."
"Yes, Damon, it does, that's the point. If we let the Brotherhood keep doing what they're doing, or the Institute gets worse than it already is, it won't matter if we survive whatever the hell happens. We might as well not have."
Preston wasn't going to back off. My hands balled into fists. He wasn't giving me a choice, and he knew it. The entire reason I didn't want them involved is so they wouldn't be in danger, or at least they'd be in less danger. Now, if he's so damn deadset on diving head first into a war, the worst thing I could do is not be there to help them.
"So what do you want?"
He shrugged. "Like I said: I want you to sit your ass back down, finish breakfast, and I'm gonna go talk to Sturges."
I held his gaze for a few seconds longer, but we both knew he'd won. Maybe I need to get better at lying.
"I'm giving you ten minutes. If you don't have anything by then, I'm leaving."
After another heartbeat's pause, the Minuteman smiled. "No, you aren't."
Without waiting for a response, Preston turned and walked back down the hall, leaving me alone again, just my own thoughts to keep me company.
How the hell had this happened? I came here to get in touch with the Railroad again. That's all. Now I'm dragging these people into this fight.
Like Preston said, they were going to get involved anyway. This is a better alternative to going it alone.
Yeah? By putting them in danger?
If they were going to be in danger whether I helped them or not, they're much better off with me in the mix. Besides, maybe getting some help will be a nice change of pace.
I looked at the mostly uneaten plate of food sitting on the floor next to my armored boot. Help… from civilians.
Do these people really count as civilians at this point?
There wasn't anything stopping me from leaving. I didn't have to stay here and wait for them to figure out what they wanted to do.
But… Sturges' face, and his voice, the anger, and betrayal- it was 100% justified. How am I supposed to leave now? How do I justify leaving them out to dry? By the same token though, how do I stay? They can't trust me.
I can't make that decision for them. I stay at least long enough for them to figure out what they want to do.
No, I can't, but there's a reason I've spent the last month on my own. My presence puts everyone at risk.
More or less risk than leaving them to fight on their own?
… I don't know
I settled back to the floor and pulled my helmet off once again, I couldn't answer any of these questions. Can I consider them civilians? They sure as hell weren't the same as most of the ones that survived the Human-Covenant War. These people have all seen the worst side of fighting, how it doesn't just affect the people in the battle, but destroys everyone around it too. The soldiers are just the tool used to fight.
But there's a difference between what they've seen and a war. I'm bringing that war with me.
There was a legitimate debate happening in my head about whether to leave after the 10 minutes I gave Preston or not. Of course, I would have to take Andrew with me, but the Synth probably wouldn't like it much. If I wasn't staying, he couldn't though. They're already going to be a target, and already going to involve themselves, no point in making that worse.
In the end, I decided to at least wait and see what they intended to do. Worst case, I get an idea of what I need to do to keep them out of trouble-
No… If I keep thinking like that, I'm going to have problems. Besides, I should probably give them the respect they deserve for getting as far as they have.
Even if I decided I was going to stay, at least for now, my patience didn't have the stamina it needed to wait for the former Minuteman to return. Once I finished eating, I slipped my helmet on again and exited Nate's old house.
It didn't take more than a few seconds to figure out where he was; the moment I was outside, I could hear the shouting coming from somewhere near the northeast corner of the neighborhood. If that wasn't enough, the other settlers were casting glances toward the area like they were afraid it might detonate.
The shouting was obviously Sturges. I still couldn't blame the man for reacting the way he did, even if it was impractical.
I deposited the plate Alexandra had given me on one of the small tables next to the yellow common house and made my way toward the shouting.
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN", Sturges yelled. "THIS IS ABOUT THE RAILROAD."
Preston's response was much quieter, enough so that it took until I stopped at the corner of the house they were behind to make out his response. The two men were standing in what looked like a workshop, with a canopy over a half dozen different benches and an assortment of equipment, half of it lying in pieces.
"You're right, it is, but if we're going to get through this, we need to cooperate."
"He lied to me", the engineer said, his voice lower. "He went there to kill them. For the Institute."
The dark-skinned man nodded. "I'm not going to argue with that. He didn't though, and the Institute tried to kill him for it."
"Preston, we been running together for a long time", Sturges responded, shaking his head. "You know what it means when I put my name on somethin. I told them they could trust him and-"
"And you were right, Sturges. Think about it; he's still trying to get home, right? And the Institute was his best shot at it. He gave that up to save them."
Sturges snorted. "You heard him in there", he dropped his voice into a low, mocking facsimile of my voice. "I didn't save them, I just didn't kill them."
"You know he's right though: if he wasn't there, the Railroad would have been ambushed by the Institute with no warning."
Does that really constitute saving them though?
I almost stepped all the way around the corner, into plain view of the two men but, as my muscles tightened, I stopped. Preston was clearly getting somewhere with the engineer. My presence wouldn't help that.
A moment of silence fell over the two of them as Sturges hesitated, visibly struggling with something. For a few heartbeats, I thought he noticed me but, eventually, his eyes returned to Preston and he shook his head. "How am I supposed to believe anything he has to say?"
"I can't help you with that", the former Minuteman replied with a shrug. "Like I said, you're right, he lied to you. He's gonna have to do something to earn that trust back if you're willing to give it. For now though, we need the help. Hell, you saw what he did with one arm. Pretty sure he can use both now."
"Yeah", Sturges said with a curt nod. "That's what I'm afraid of." He looked away from Preston and took a deep breath. "So what are you proposin?"
"We can't go to the Railroad. You don't trust Damon, and they sure as hell don't trust him. I say we sit down with him and figure out how we get to the point we can start working with them." The former Minuteman huffed. "We're gonna need all the help we can get here, and I think the Railroad would be pretty useful, especially with the Institute."
The engineer met his friend's gaze once more. "And until then? That won't be a quick process. They don't take kindly to being stabbed in the back."
"Until then, we make sure the Brotherhood, Gunners, and Raiders stay off our backs."
Yeah, right, it's as simple as that.
I have to give him credit, Preston is a much more convincing speaker than he was when I first met the guy. While the execution wouldn't be as easy as he made it sound, the idea itself wasn't bad. The Railroad would be their best resource against the Institute, at least for gathering information, but the others would be challenging.
"Fine", Sturges said, almost grudgingly.
Preston nodded. "I'll go get him."
Hopefully they wouldn't mind I took that liberty myself. I stepped around the corner as the Minuteman turned, and he squinted up at me.
"Or the bastard's already here."
The engineer glared, the same fire that had been in his eyes before coming back full force.
"Yes", I said, watching Sturges. "I got tired of waiting."
Preston grunted. "Good to know that hasn't changed. At least I don't have to explain things to you then." I shook my head. "Alright, I'm gonna go get our security heads, we'll meet you in the armory in ten minutes." He glanced from me to Sturges and back. "You two play nice while I'm gone."
As the former Minuteman left, the Synth's eyes never left my visor, never stopped burning. I returned the glare with one a bit less heated and more… I don't know… What am I supposed to say? We all know he's right. We all know I betrayed his trust, the Railroad's trust… Cass and Tommy's trust.
Then I come here, acting like I hadn't done anything, and asked Sturges to put me in contact with the Railroad again.
That's something Nate would do.
The silence dragged on long enough Sturges began shifting and the fire in his eyes withered ever so slightly.
"Are you just gonna stare at me all day or do you have something you wanna tell me?"
Something I want to tell him? What, that I'm sorry? I almost chuckled. That was one thing I could agree with Nate on: hearing 'I'm sorry' from me, now, would only make things worse.
I shrugged. "I'm not here to fight you."
"No, no of course not. You'd have killed us already, right?" There was a hard, bitter edge to his voice that I'd never heard from the normally cheery man.
"Sturges…" I shook my head. "I can't say anything to make this better. Shit- I don't think I should stay here, I'm putting everyone in more danger. Preston is determined to join this fight, so I'm going to do what I can to help."
"What you can", he muttered. "What you can?" Sure seems like you can do a whole lot there Damon."
The implication couldn't have been clearer if he had a sign over his head.
"I'm not going to pretend I wasn't a few bad seconds away from killing them but, at this point, you all need my help and-"
The engineer barked a harsh, mocking laugh. "We need your help. You're just gonna claim that without a second of thinking?"
While I'm clearly no expert on social interactions, I do know fighting.
"Yes, Sturges, you do need my help. You think I didn't spend weeks considering whether coming back here was a good idea or not?" I held my hands out to my sides both in placation and irritation. "I'm here because I didn't have another choice. I could have tracked the Railroad down, but I didn't. I didn't because I knew that was the wrong decision."
"It was the wrong decision because you know they would have shot first and asked questions never."
I nodded. "That's true, but they also didn't need me looking over their shoulder after what I did. So I thought getting you to help would be the best solution for all parties involved. Clearly, I was wrong."
Again.
"You're damn right you were", he stabbed a finger at me. "You didn't even give me the consideration of saying what happened."
Because I knew you wouldn't help me if I had… That's something else Nate would have done.
"That was wrong too."
Sturges hesitated again, still staring at me, but the fire wasn't anywhere near as hot as a few minutes ago.
"We better go", he said quietly. "They're probably waiting for us."
With that, the engineer brushed past me and toward Nate's house. I turned to follow, but as I went to step around the corner, I paused. What the hell am I getting myself into here? What am I getting them into? Even if they were to do this on their own, the Brotherhood finding out they're not only fighting them but doing so with me- and then they discover there are Synths here- they'd come down on Sanctuary and their other settlements with hellfire.
The Synths are going to be here regardless, so what I need to focus on now is how I can keep that from happening. How I can help them keep that from happening.
Right.
I followed after Sturges, more of the stares from settlers coming back my way now. The walk across the neighborhood wasn't long, maybe 100 meters, but it seemed to stretch on for kilometers. That wasn't just my trepidation, it was the collective eyes that fell on me, making my skin crawl and my head scream at me to find somewhere more secluded.
Plus, if things went to Preston's plans, all of these people would be involved in a war soon enough.
The engineer had been right; Preston was waiting in the house's front room with Valentine, Owen, Sturges, Alexandra, MacCready, and one other man I didn't recognize.
"So", Preston started as I ducked into the living room, "just to get everyone up to speed on what's happening, Damon here had a run-in with a few important groups. He was sent by the Institute to wipe out the Railroad." The gazes that turned on me were sharp enough to cut skin. "He didn't, warned them about the attack, and got ambushed himself by the Institute for betraying them. Now he's here looking for a way to get back in touch with them and sneak another Synth, Andrew, away from the Institute. That isn't going to happen, not until we know we can trust him again, but as you all know, both the Brotherhood and the Institute are gonna come calling soon enough. We've gotten too big to go unnoticed. Damon wants our help getting back to the Railroad, and we want his help keeping our home safe." The former Minuteman met the eyes of each person assembled. "If we don't feel like we can trust him, we end this here", his eyes drilled straight into me, "he goes on his way."
Of the half dozen assembled in the living room, each of them was glaring at me except for Preston, whose gaze was more measured, and Alexandra, who looked more irritated than anything. I couldn't help but wonder what that was about.
"Why should we trust him?" Owen said, placing his hands on his hips.
When he looked at Preston, the man shrugged. "He has a mouth, ask him."
The armorer cocked an eyebrow at me. "Well?"
Well? Well what? I don't know you, and I don't owe you a goddamn thing.
I turned to Preston.
"No", he said before I could protest. "We're all here because of what we're gonna have to do sooner or later." The Minuteman gestured to the assembled citizens. "These are the people in charge of security for our settlements. You want our help, everyone is involved."
They need my help, whether they want to admit it or not. Sure, they may be able to do some damage on their own, but both the Brotherhood and Institute are larger and better equipped. That being said…
"You expect me to discuss sensitive information with people I don't know."
Preston nodded. "You know the best way to do this is to work together."
Do I?
"I've spent a lot of time working alone."
"No doubt", the ridiculously dressed man responded matter of factly, "Does that make me wrong?"
I blinked.
At this point, I'm just being stubborn.
Yeah well, me being stubborn is why I'm still alive.
And my decision-making is what's got me into this mess.
… Fine.
Casting my gaze around the small group, I settled my eyes on MacCready. He still had the same, overly suspicious stare as the first time we'd met.
"I don't have an answer."
Alexandra snorted. "Nice one soldier boy. Maybe try that again with a bit less stupidity."
I glanced at her before meeting the former mercenary's eyes once again.
Why should they trust me? Because I'm their best option. But here, I'm going to be everyone's best option. It's why every major player in this war has tried to recruit me… before promptly betraying me. Maybe I need to do something about that.
Shrugging, I tried again. "If you, or me, are going to survive the next few months, working together is the best option. There's nothing I can say to make you believe me. The original group of people I brought here can attest to my combat ability." My eyes never left MaCready's. "That being said, I don't know you either. I have no reason to trust you outside of working with people I know."
"That's awfully ballsy considering what you just tried to pull", Sturges muttered.
Again, the engineer was right but, if we're talking about combat, I have to know the people I'm working with are competent and on my side.
"Yes, I made a mistake, but I've been stabbed in the back twice now." My eyes locked onto Sturges. "It won't happen a third time."
Owen huffed. "It sounds a whole lot like no one here trusts each other. Think it'll be pretty hard to fight a war if everyone's watching their backs."
"No", Alexandra said. "It isn't that we don't trust Damon, he's done too much for us for that. This isn't something we can ignore though." Her eyes didn't have the same fire in them that Sturges' did, but they were still piercing. "If you're claiming attacking the Railroad was a mistake, how are you gonna fix it?"
I didn't attack the Railroad. Saying that wouldn't have gotten me anywhere though, and it didn't negate the fact I did go there to kill them.
"Take down the Institute and the Brotherhood."
The woman frowned. "And how does that help the Railroad?"
"Those are the people who want them dead."
"You intended to do that alone?" Valentine asked.
I shrugged again. "More or less."
Silence settled over the small assembly as they all looked at me. Sturges, Alexandra, and Preston were more curious than anything, but the other three wore confused frowns.
"Care to share how you intended to do that friend?" the third newcomer asked. He was a larger man with a shaved head and a large, red beard.
"Start with the Brotherhood, break down their infrastructure, then take apart their operations. The Institute is what I need the Railroad's help with."
"You make that sound awfully simple. We're talkin' about the Brotherhood of Steel here. They took down the Enclave, they broke up the Raider gangs on the west coast, they-" paused, brow furrowed. "Point is, you're one guy. Even if you're as good as Preston says, turning down help would be dumb."
He's right, it would be. Even when I was operating on my own, I had teams of intel officers, analysts, informants, and more target info than the combined combat intelligence of everyone in this goddamn wasteland. The only reason I want to turn their offer down is to keep them out of the thick of the fighting. To keep them as safe as I can.
Maybe I should say that.
"I wanted to turn your help down to keep you out of the fight." I looked at Preston again. "Considering you're determined to get involved either way… the best chance you have is with my help."
"Aye, that makes sense", the man nodded. "That doesn't tell us why we should trust you though."
"Like I said, there's nothing I can say that will make you believe me."
Preston decided it was his turn to interject. "Vincent, I get your doubts, and they make sense considering the circumstances, but for now we'll just have to say our experiences so far vouch for his reliability." The Minuteman cast a glance at me. "Recent events notwithstanding. I'm not saying we give him free reign, but if we're looking for a bit of firepower, Damon's our guy."
A shift brought my attention back to MacCready who finally tore his gaze away from me to look at Preston. "How are you suggesting this thing works?"
The dark-skinned man smiled at me from beneath his massive hat. "Well, I believe that's part of the value our friend here brings to the table. Damon? What was your next step after taking Andy to the Railroad?"
I cocked my head at the settlement leader as the rest of the room's collective gaze fell on me. Not only is he essentially coercing me into helping them, but now he wants me to come up with the battle plan. If I didn't know he was doing this for his people, I'd probably be irritated. As it was, I allowed a small smile of my own to slip across my face. That was hidden by my helmet, of course.
"They have 'partnerships' with a few dozen farms to the east and northeast. I was going to render them useless to the Brotherhood, limiting their income of supplies."
"You were gonna destroy the farms?" Valentine asked, eyebrow cocked.
I shook my head. "Limit their food production capability so they could only yield enough to support the people tending them. At least in the short term."
"How?"
"Burn the crops."
None of the other people in the room looked happy about that, but something they're going to have to get used to is the things war necessitates. Even now, I'm playing by rules I find… limiting for the simple fact it will keep Sanctuary and its growing network of settlements safe. For the time being, anyway.
"How do you know that would stop the Brotherhood from exploiting them?" Preston asked. "What if they just take whatever those farms have left and leave."
There were two reasons for that. "How many people do you think are in the Commonwealth?"
The Minuteman shrugged. "I don't know… the settlements I know of in the city probably total up to… 4000, I guess the areas around including ours, another 10? 12?"
It was something close to that.
"Yes. And the Brotherhood can't afford that fight. People hear they confiscated farmers' only food and left them to starve, that's a fight they get. I also intend to be there when the Brotherhood comes afterward."
"And kill them?"
I nodded.
Alexandra cleared her throat. "Well, what if we… change the relationship they have with the Brotherhood instead?"
Change their relationship?
"You mean integrate them into your network."
She nodded. "Those farms produce a lot of food for the folks living in the city. You burn their crops down, people starve."
"Doing that will put you at odds with the Brotherhood."
Vincent, apparently, nodded. "I believe that's her point." His eyes locked on me. "Which is where you come in."
They're thinking I can make it not worth Maxson's time to come after them? Yeah… these people don't know anything about war.
I shook my head. "That isn't how that works. The bigger the threat you are, the more they'll send at you. If they know you're working with me, they come harder. A stand-up fight is how you lose this type of war."
Preston frowned. "What would you propose as a next step then? I agree with Alexandra: we help those people, we get more support from the surrounding settlements that rely on them for food."
If we can't make them non-viable sources of food how do I keep the Brotherhood off of them? If Maxson doesn't know I'm involved, he has three options. The first, and what I think he'd go with, is a large upfront strike, make sure the other settlements in the area know who's in charge without causing too much damage. The second would be to send smaller units to… persuade the farms to begin supplying them with food again. The third would be to leave them alone and find another way to gather resources. Maxson is too stubborn, proud, and determined to do that last one.
Those all have their own problems, and because of the unpredictability, I don't like it. How else would you do that?
Delay.
Delay? That could work…
"There are other strategies we can use, but they all carry risks. Delay tactics would be the best option."
That way, they wouldn't be in direct opposition to the Brotherhood, at least not overtly. It would give me time to… I don't know. This isn't something I can come up with on the fly though; if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right. A mistake here will cost these people lives, and I can't be responsible for that. I can't be responsible for getting them killed.
I can't be responsible for getting them killed…
"What next?" MacCready said, still looking unconvinced. "Even if they do fall for it at first, they won't for very long. What then, are we just supposed to hope they've weakened enough to lose a fight?"
I blinked. What's next? What's next is I figure out if I'm even staying here to help you.
"Still working on that."
Preston nodded. "Which is fine." His eyes left me to look around the room once again. They lingered on each person for a short moment before moving on to the next. It's something I've seen other commanding officers do.
"So are we in agreement? This may not be perfect, but it's the best shot we have."
There was a pause as silence draped itself over the house once again. Owen, MacCready, and Vincent all exchanged glances before fixing their gazes back on me. Sturges' had never left. His eyes weren't burning with the intensity they had before, but it would probably be some time before he felt comfortable trusting me again. If ever.
That's fair.
"We'll have to see where this goes, I guess", Owen said.
Vincent grunted. "Aye."
The last one to respond was MacCready who still looked like he didn't know whether to attack me or run. That was also fair.
"Fine, but we need to put together a real plan before doing this. We screw up and those farmers are good as dead. That's before the Brotherhood comes after us."
On that, we can agree.
After the mercenary finished, Preston turned to the engineer. "Sturges…" He trailed off, watching the man glare daggers into me. "Are you okay with this?"
The grease-covered man shook his head. "Hell no I'm not." He stalked up to me and jammed a finger into my chest. "I don't care if you didn't physically attack them, you let the Institute find the Railroad. You coulda done something to stop that, and you didn't." There was more than just anger in his voice and on his face now. Sturges' frown was trembling, and his eyes, the corners were creased with worry. "Those people are just trying to do right, and you damn near killed them for it." He turned to Preston. "I'll work with this for now, but don't expect me to like it."
… Again, he was right.
"Of course", the former Minuteman said with a slow nod.
With that, Sturges turned and stalked out of the house turned armory.
Silence followed as the other occupants watched me. It almost seemed like they were waiting to see what I would do.
How the hell am I supposed to know what to do? I didn't like any of this. I didn't like that my plans had been ruined, I didn't like that Preston was dead set on getting his people involved in this conflict. I didn't like that now I was forced to help protect them.
And I didn't like that they didn't trust me to do that.
After a few seconds, the collective stares became too present, too intrusive to stay. It felt like they were trying to delve into whatever thoughts were barrelling through my head as we all stood there in silence. I ducked through the doorway into the late morning light and began toward the bridge. The few dozen settlers I passed all cast furtive glances at me but continued on with their day.
Not only do I have to figure out just what the hell is going on with the Institute, what Li is doing, what Nate's playing at, and keep fighting the Brotherhood, I have to completely re-evaluate my plans. It isn't just me fighting this war now, Preston's people are involved, and while they may be able to help, that's a vulnerability Maxson and Shaun can use.
As I reached the wall, I hesitated.
What am I supposed to do here? How do I prepare them for this?
I swung the steel and wooden door open and stepped through.
How do I plan for a fight when I'm also responsible for keeping these people safe?
I don't. Preston said they're involved either way. It isn't my job to defend them if they're here to fight.
Isn't it? They aren't SPARTANs. Shit, they aren't even trained soldiers. They have experience, and they're definitely more resilient than the average citizen, far more. But there's a difference between that resilience and being a fighting force.
My feet carried me across the bridge.
Maybe that's my first step then: prepare them to be a fighting force, instead of just defending their homes.
I'm no drill instructor.
Don't have to be. All I need to do is make sure they understand what they're getting into, and plan this so they can gain experience with minimal risk.
… All I need to do. Right. These people have no clue what they're signing up for.
Stalking up into the hills to the west, I began walking the settlement's perimeter. They probably don't need me out here on patrol, it isn't as though the place is undefended like my first week. It wasn't about security though. I need time to think, time away from the people down there. I've grown used to spending time alone again. Trying to sort my way through this mess with Alexandra, Preston, MacCready, and whoever else hovering over me wouldn't be productive.
I stopped just beyond the clearing surrounding their armored lookout shack and looked down on the settlement. I said I wasn't going to do this. I said I wasn't going to put myself in a position to hurt people I care about. That's exactly what I did by coming here.
And now what the hell am I supposed to do, leave? If I do that, I might as well put a target on Sanctuary.
As I watched, Alexandra began across the small wooden bridge leading into the hills. It didn't take a genius to figure out why.
A few minutes later, she was walking toward me through the sickly trees, dry dirt crunching under her boots.
"Care to share?" the woman asked as she came to a stop, brown eyes drilling into my visor.
Care to share what?
I cocked my head.
Her mouth drew into a straight line. "Well you clearly don't want to be here, and it goes beyond Sturges and the Railroad. You aren't with the Institute anymore, you don't have Nate, and yet you were still trying to drop in and out. So what happened. Really?"
"I've operated on my own most of my life. This isn't new."
"Yes, but you've been with at least Nate basically since you got here. If you couldn't trust us after whatever happened between you and the Institute, I don't think you would have come back. So what is it?"
She's just like Valentine and Ellie: too goddamn observant for her own good.
"It was the best way to keep everyone safe", I replied with a shrug.
"From you?"
Yes. "From the danger I bring with me."
Alexandra frowned. "Bullshit. You know this fight was going to involve us sooner or later, don't play dumb with me Damon. What happened with the Railroad? If you're still willing to trust people, whatever's going on here doesn't have anything to do with Nate or the Institute. What did you do?"
My eyes narrowed as I stared down at the smallish, fiery woman. I don't need to answer. I could just walk away from the conversation. She wasn't going to let that happen though.
"Alexandra", I began slowly, but her patience was apparently at zero.
"First of all", she interrupted, "Alex is fine. Second, don't you dare patronize me. I'm not doing this for your benefit, not completely. If what happened with the Railroad has a chance to hurt this community, hurt my son, you're fooling yourself if you think I'm not going to find out about it."
Of course you are…
What was I supposed to say? It wasn't just the Railroad; I've made a lot of mistakes since coming here. Most- all of them have been because I've always dealt with things one way. That way doesn't work here. Hell, outside of being a SPARTAN, one almost universally tasked with lethal operations, it probably doesn't work for much of anything.
And that's the problem, isn't it?
But what's getting at me now is the Railroad. It's Cass, Tommy, and Julian.
And it is Nate.
I let out a long, slow breath.
"I didn't attack the Railroad because a few months ago, I recovered- rescued a few kids from a Supermutant camp. They'd lost their parents and began relying on Nate and me. The Brotherhood captured one and, after that, the only place we could take them was the Railroad."
Alexandra's expression had gone from pissed off to a curious frown. "And?"
"And…" I shrugged. "The Railroad takes Synths from the Institute, so the Institute wanted them dead. Making things dead is what I'm good at. I should have known they planned to ambush me, but I was preoccupied."
"You didn't want to do it", she mused, "but you felt like you had to."
… Sort of. I thought I had to. I nodded after a few heartbeats. "We'd been gone a few weeks and when we got back…" The look of comfort and the glimmer of happiness in their eyes still haunted me.
"When we got back Cass and Tommy were safe and comfortable." My jaw set as their expressions morphed into fear and, for Cass's part, anger. "That didn't last long."
"Uh-huh", Alexandra- Alex hummed. "So you're afraid you'll do something to us? Are you planning on betraying us?"
I shook my head.
A hint of that same fire bloomed in her eyes. "Then what's the goddamn problem? You fucked up, but no one ended up dead. It's something you can still fix, so quit your bitching and fix it."
I stared down at the woman. Her expression was as unyielding as the side of a mountain. Those words weren't far off what I told Jake when I brought him home after my run-in with the Forged.
It is… remarkable how simple that statement was. And how right it is.
She's never been one to mince words. I huffed and looked back down at the settlement. I know that of course.
"What?" Alex asked- almost barked up at me.
"Nothing", I said, unable to keep the amusement out of my voice. I felt myself straighten ever so slightly. "It's nothing. I guess that's something I needed to hear."
She gave a curt nod. "Glad to hear it. I'm sure you came up here to be alone and think. Now that you don't have to concern yourself with whatever pity party you were having, think about what we're gonna do next."
Without waiting for a reply, she marched back down the hill toward Sanctuary.
Amanda would like her. A lot.
So… think about what to do next. Realistically, the best thing for Preston's people would be to expose them to combat. Real combat. How am I going to do that?
Plan fights so they can gain experience without putting them at risk.
Any engagement with hostile forces carries some risk, and the best way to minimize that…
A spark of amusement flitted through my head.
Yeah… I can do that. They won't like it though.
X
Instead of spending the next few hours walking the settlement's perimeter, patrolling for potential intruders, I spent it scouting the settlement itself. While the place was better fortified than it had been the last time I was here, the lookout locations were largely the same. It didn't seem like they used the raised platforms for their watch, which was good. That meant any intruder would have to make it past well-hidden, hardened positions, and they wouldn't be offering any obvious targets.
The flip side of that was they would have limited lines of sight and fields of fire. Lookout towers have been around since someone figured out it's easier to see things from an elevated position. They were much more logical when ramparts and castles were a staple in warfare since you couldn't be shot in one from a klick away with no warning.
Even so, modern defenses still used them, and I'd contended with countless outposts that had them. Most of the Brotherhood positions in the area use lookout towers too. Sometimes they were good, sometimes they were bad, but if you can find a way to not use them for patrols, your people are safer.
How Preston's people got around that was the fortified shack they'd built on top of the hill to the north of the settlement. It had its own drawbacks though, namely, since it was armored, there was very little visibility south, primarily there for a defensive position from an attack in the hills.
It still posed a threat to anyone attacking from the south, which means any competent commander would want it dealt with first. Moving down the hills, especially without being noticed, would still be damn near impossible with the approach exposed to the settlement though…
If it came down to it, the Brotherhood also had the benefits of air support and T-60 power armor, which was apparently both radiation-resistant and waterproof. That means the river was an option for them too.
As a plan formed in my head, I wandered back to the Vault Nate and Nora had taken shelter in when the bombs fell. The rusted, collapsing fence around the area was exactly the same as the day I'd arrived here three and a half months ago. The same went for the small office and the multitude of shipping containers.
None of it should have been any different unless the settlers had come up here and messed with it. I doubt there's anything useful here after over 200 years of decay though.
Why does it feel like it should be different then? Why does looking around at this refuse, further testament to how this version of humanity blew itself to hell, feel wrong now?
My eyes wandered to the large cog-shaped platform that acted as the fallout shelter's entrance. I could still see the interior of that place, dark, and decaying, dead bodies frozen in their cryo-pods, decayed remains of whoever had staffed the facility. The best word I could think of was foreboding.
The Covenant would be proud. The bitter thought passed through my head like a whisper, so quiet I almost missed it.
This won't help. That was 200 years ago, what matters now is figuring out how to fight this war with these people's help.
Slowly cutting off Maxson's supplies was still the best option if they didn't want me burning the fields. I could still make it look like sabotage, and I could still act as a decoy to keep them above suspicion for as long as possible. The more damage I'm able to do to the Brotherhood before they go after Preston's people, the better. Plus, there's the Institute and Nate. For as inexperienced as their fighting forces are, they've done well, against the Brotherhood at least. I need them to do better though because Maxson's forces are going to start adapting, and if they don't, that fight won't last as long as I need it to.
Then there's this splinter group that the ex-soldier is apparently a part of. I don't have any intel I can act on there, so until I gather more, I can't assume anything.
My plans weren't as thoroughly thought out as I normally like, but I need more information from Preston before I can nail anything down. Tonight's exercise would be informative.
I smiled as I turned from the Vault and began back toward the settlement. This reminded me of the 'real world sims' Katrina liked so much. This time though, I'd actually be getting shot at. That will be interesting…
At the same time, this exercise would be important. I don't know how to expose Preston and his people to the type of fight they're in for other than doing it. Making it feel real, down the uncertainty of what's really happening, is important. It may be a bit dramatic, but that never stopped my trainers. Hell, sometimes they used that to make a point.
That's what I'm doing here...
The Minuteman was at the house they'd built into their common area, eating with a few others I didn't recognize. The small group all stared at me as I approached their table.
"Hey Damon", Preston said, sounding wary. His hat was off, which is the first time I'd seen that. He had closely shaven brown hair that looked like it was more stubble than anything else.
"I'd like to talk."
He looked around at the other settlers. "Do you mind giving me a few minutes?"
Shaking my head, I marched back to the front of the settlement and gave their defenses there one more look over. Hopefully, whoever attacked wouldn't have the benefit of inside knowledge about their fortifications, but we can't count that out. The Brotherhood managed to insert or flip a group in the Institute, there's no reason to believe they can't or haven't done the same thing here.
Footsteps began toward me from the north and I turned to see the Minuteman heading my way, hat back in place.
"What's up?" He still sounded suspicious.
"I want your best people on patrol tonight."
He blinked. "Why?"
This won't be effective if I tell you.
"If I'm going to stay here, the risk of an attack goes up. The Brotherhood and the Institute are smart enough to know you don't have night vision optics, and they both do." At least their more advanced units do. "We'll need to be careful."
That damn well may have been the best lie I've ever told. Maybe Nate rubbed off on me more than I thought.
"Uh-huh." Preston didn't look convinced.
It's the best lie I've ever told.
"Do you really think they're going to attack us just because you're here? How would they know?"
I looked at the hills to the north. "If they're smart, they have eyes on every major settlement in the area. We weren't followed, but that doesn't mean there's no one watching."
Preston smiled. "Major settlement huh?"
"Hub."
"Whatever. Are the Brotherhood and Institute that interested in you?"
"Don't know", I said, shrugging. "The Institute will know I have Andrew. The Brotherhood probably want me to stop ambushing their supply lines. This is the first time I will have given them a static target." I canted my head and looked down at the Minuteman. "Which is one of the reasons I don't want to be here."
He waved the statement away. "Yeah, yeah. We don't need you here long term." The dark-skinned man's face grew serious. "That being said, a lot of people in Sanctuary trust Sturges. Doing what you did… he doesn't trust you anymore, and that means a lot of people don't trust you."
Add them to the list.
"It isn't something I'm proud of."
Preston grunted. "If it was, that would make you a pretty terrible person. For what it's worth, I think you doing the right thing, eventually, means something. I also don't think you're the type of person to play the long game."
My eyes narrowed. That felt like a backhanded compliment, but I couldn't tell.
"You mean I wouldn't be here to exploit you?"
"Yeah", the minute man said with a nod. "Your style is more 'shoot you in the face'."
Only when doing it in the back wasn't an option, but I get the point.
"Fair, so what are you saying?"
"I'm saying I trust you."
"I'm saying I trust you"... I didn't know how to respond to that. Obviously he trusts me, or he wouldn't have asked- told me to stay, but he was willing to trust me, and say he trusts me when, by his own admission, most people here don't? That seems like a major risk for the leader of a settlement to take.
Even so, hearing him say it was… well it was a relief.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it. Trusting you got us this far. No reason to stop now." He smiled. "At least not yet."
Right.
"Speaking of, have you come up with anything?"
"Am I the only one planning?" I asked, cocking my head.
"No, I'm not saying that, but you do have a plan. I can't imagine you spent the last five hours wandering around up there", he waved at the hills, "doing nothing."
I shrugged again. "The framework of one. I'll need more information before I can say anything for sure."
"Such as?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.
"Number and experience of your fighters, resources, and positions to start."
Preston frowned. "Don't know any of that off the top of my head. I can get it for you though."
"Good. I'll need that tomorrow."
"Why tomorrow?"
"There's something else I need to take care of tonight." I glanced at the wall, blocking the view of the dead trees and destroyed city to the south. "If anyone's going to attack tonight, I'd like to get a head start on them."
That, of course, wasn't the real reason I'd be outside the settlement. It was extremely unlikely anyone came calling tonight, even if they intended to. Maxson is smart enough to keep his recon forces' footprint as small as possible, same with Shaun (or Nate). That's why I haven't been able to track down many of either. It also meant there wouldn't be a strike force ready to move on Sanctuary which meant time. At least one night."
Preston nodded. "Yeah, I get that."
As the former Minuteman turned to walk back to the main street he paused. "It's actually kinda funny, you being back here after everything. We didn't think that would happen."
Neither did I.
"Agreed."
X
I tried to not be disappointed. Besides the occasional Raider, Sanctuary's guards didn't have to worry about much by way of threats. At least not yet.
Even so, the fact I was able to get across the small clearing around their fortified shack on the hill and plant my 'charge' on it without being noticed was… disconcerting. It wasn't more than five minutes before I had circled back to the northeast edge of the settlement. Now, crouched behind a small bunch of trees, peering toward the watch positions on the opposite side of the narrow river, I couldn't help but recall the Brotherhood patrol patterns. They'd left their flank toward the water unguarded as well. Or relatively unguarded.
Preston's people had it even worse; there was no one watching this side of the settlement. Against a conventional enemy, that's fine. Against the Institute, or the Brotherhood, or me, that's a death sentence. Since they have to worry about two of those groups attacking them, this would be a good way to get that point across.
As the street behind the wall finally emptied, I slipped from my visual cover and down toward the water's edge. Even if there had been anyone in the street, they wouldn't have seen my dark blue armor against the black shadows cast by the trees. Not unless they had NVS. That wasn't the only reason though; it meant I'd be able to make it further into the settlement before I made contact. It worked for my purposes, putting as few people in harm's way as possible, but if I was attacking in earnest, I'd be that much deeper into their fortifications before going loud.
Stepping into the water, I was careful to angle my armored boots so they wouldn't splash as they fell beneath the surface. Easing myself in, the odd, silty texture of the riverbed reminded me of when I did this to flank the Raiders.
The bank was steep and, besides having to shuffle down sideways to maintain my balance, before I was three meters from shore, my head dipped beneath the surface of the irradiated water.
From there it was another 15 seconds to traverse the slick, silty riverbed, and I was emerging on the other side, effectively in a blindspot for the patrol.
Yeah, this was definitely a weakness we'd need to address. An experienced defender would have people stationed here, especially with the relative abundance of manpower they have in the settlement. Very few novice attackers would think to use something as dangerous as the river to their advantage, but if they have the right gear, and know what to look for, any perceived strength can be used in either direction.
The wall was another issue; it was constructed almost at the shoreline. There was nothing on the other side of the fortification, which meant they could turn that area into dead space. Anyone doing the same thing in the future would have to cross open ground, even if it was only a few dozen meters.
Now… they probably didn't have to worry about attackers jumping over the wall, but anyone worth defending against would have climbing gear.
I didn't and I doubt the barrier would hold my weight anyway. It was just over three meters tall which would be a stretch, but I could make it.
Once I extracted myself from the water, I skirted along the fortification until I found a spot dry enough to avoid slipping and leaped.
The ground gave ever so slightly, but it wasn't enough to throw my trajectory off. I cleared the wall and, as I came down on the other side, tucked into a roll to soften the landing. The nearest building was a half-reconstructed house about 10 meters toward the settlement's main street. The nearest person in sight was one of their guards walking their route through the center of Sanctuary.
From my scouting that day, I knew there would be at least one guard about 20 meters to my right, and several more interspersed along the wall, watching the opposite bank.
As this was an exercise, I didn't want to injure or kill anyone, but they needed to think I might. It wouldn't do anything for their trust, but these people need to know what it's like to go up against a real threat.
I slipped my knife from its sheath under my left arm and skirted to the west along the wall, careful to avoid stepping on any rubble or brush. For the most part, they'd done a good job clearing the perimeter of hazards.
Within 10 seconds, I had the first guard position in sight. There were two men and one woman in one of the mostly intact houses built into the wall. It was fortified, but they hadn't done any repairs on the building's side. That meant I could see straight through most of the house. One, the woman, was watching the perimeter, another was lazily scanning the area around the house, and the third was…
My jaw set and I felt my grip tighten around my knife's hilt. The guy was sitting in a chair feet kicked up on a goddamn box. This mfer's supposed to be on guard at night and he's lounging?
Maybe I take a few more liberties with him, and his cohort. They were allowing that behavior after all.
Setting my armored boots down as gently as possible, I crept around the side of the makeshift guard post and into the side of the house. They didn't notice me until I was directly behind the target of my ire.
I wrapped my arm around his throat, careful to balance cutting his air supply off without crushing his neck. He grabbed at my armored forearm, but I'd already sapped him of his ability to shout. The second man, standing less than a meter away, just started turning when I stood, the first one still clutched against my chest, and drove a knee into his stomach. The blow wasn't hard enough to damage anything, but it did knock the wind out of him. He dropped to the ground, heaving as I surged forward and stopped my knife a millimeter from the woman's throat.
She stared up at me, wide-eyed, mouth open. I shook my head.
"You're going to stay here, quiet until I say otherwise", I whispered. "Understood?"
"Wha- what's going on", she breathed, voice barely audible.
"A test. Now, do you understand?"
She nodded hesitantly and I lowered the first man to the ground. He was barely conscious, but he'd be fine in a few minutes.
A quick glance at the one I'd hit told me he'd be alright too. He was glaring at me now from his spot on the floor, chest still heaving for breath.
Hopefully that would teach them something.
This wasn't over though, I still have three more positions to neutralize.
Slipping out of the house, I continued down the wall for another two dozen meters before I reached the next post. This one only had two people at it. No one was kicking back, at least.
When I snuck into this house, I dropped the first guard, a short, well-built man to the ground with a well-placed blow to the back of his knees. Placing a boot on his back, I leaned forward just enough to drive the air from his lungs and, again, brandished my knife to the remaining guard.
They agreed, reluctantly, to remain quiet, and I moved on to the third position. That one went just as quickly, and so did the fourth. In total, I 'neutralized' 12 people along the wall. There were a half dozen more patrolling the main street, but now that the perimeter guard was dealt with, avoiding them would be easy enough.
I placed another half dozen 'charges' around the settlement before slipping into the house Preston called his. The man was asleep in one of the bedrooms when I entered.
Time to fix that.
This may have been a bit dramatic, but this is a point that needs to be demonstrated. He wants to get involved in this war? He needs to know what that means.
Crouching beside his bed, I wrenched him onto his back and pressed my knife into his neck.
"Quiet", I hissed as his eyes shot open.
They were hazy and unfocused, but they widened as he recognized me, looming over him in the dark.
"Damon", he said groggily. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Demonstrating what you're getting into." I pushed the knife a little deeper into his neck, the blade on the verge of breaking skin. "You want a war you aren't prepared to fight."
The former Minuteman didn't respond. His eyes were locked on my visor. His breath was coming in rapid, shallow gasps, and I could almost hear the man's heart trying to beat from his chest. He was scared.
"I want everyone awake and assembled on the main street in five minutes."
With that, I stood and turned to leave.
"What the fuck is this?"
"I'll explain when you do what I told you", I replied.
"I'm just supposed to wake everyone up? Now?"
I glanced back. "You asked for my help. This is me helping you."
It took more than 10 minutes for Preston to rouse everyone in the settlement and assemble them on the main street, closer to 20, actually. I stood by their common house and watched as the half-asleep settlers slowly trickled toward the small building. I wasn't doing this to be difficult. Aside from clearly needing to be better prepared to respond to a threat at night, they also needed to understand anything can happen at any time.
As more gathered around me, things began getting… uncomfortable. They all kept their distance but I was surrounded by people, most of which I didn't know. My mind was screaming to move, to find cover, but that isn't what I'm here for.
I'm here to help these people, not fight them. They aren't the Brotherhood or the Institute- they aren't enemies.
My eyes found Alexandra and Julian in the small crowd as they made their way toward me, looking as tired as everyone else. Alexandra's frown had a healthy dose of irritation in it too.
"What the hell is going on here?"
"You'll find out in a minute", I said. I found myself taking a page out of Mendez's playbook: don't play favorites. Everyone here, regardless of whether I know them or not, is going to be involved in this. They don't need to see or hear me giving preferential treatment to the ones I do know.
Fourier would definitely be proud of me now. As usual, the thought made me want to puke.
"I'll find out in a minute?" she asked, exasperated. "What the hell are you talking about? What is this?"
"I'm waiting for everyone."
The woman clearly didn't like that answer, but she didn't argue.
Eventually, Preston walked up, more awake, and upset, than anyone else.
"Now care to tell everyone here why you decided to sneak into my room, put a knife to my throat, and make all of us come out here in the middle of the night?"
I nodded. "Where are your guards?"
The Minuteman's eyes narrowed. "They're on guard."
"Get them too."
"I thought you said we were at risk of being attacked."
"Not tonight. Anyone interested in attacking because of me would take more than a few hours to plan it." I motioned toward the wall. "Get them."
He hesitated an instant longer, but eventually relented and went to gather the dozen guards. When he returned with them, the expression on his face was different… troubled.
"You attacked them?" he asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Yes." I looked at the 12 men and women I'd 'neutralized' during my infiltration. "I subdued them without anyone raising an alarm." I reached into a pouch and pulled out another one of the 'charges', a small black box. "There are seven of these around the settlement and one up at the shack. Each of them represents an explosive." I held Preston's gaze for several silent seconds as he continued to glare at me.
"If this were real, everyone here would be dead or dying. You want to get involved in a war you aren't ready for."
The anger on the former Minuteman's face melted into concern.
"You're saying you did this to show us that?"
I nodded again. "Experience is the best teacher."
"So, what", Alexandra said from beside me, "you're saying we need to stay out of it?" There was an edge on the question.
I would prefer that. That being the case, Preston was right; with the way this war is going, the outlying settlements are going to get involved eventually.
"It would be better if you did, but you will be regardless of what I want."
"And this is your way of introducing us to it?" Alexandra looked around at the assembled settlers. "Seems like you could have done this better."
"Experience is the best teacher", I repeated, glancing at the group of guards. With their sagging postures and refusal to meet my gaze, it wasn't hard to guess what they were thinking.
Valentine cleared his throat. "Man's got a point. We wanna do this, we better do it right."
Anything worth doing… I nodded to him. "I'm going to prepare you to fight a war, but that means I need your complete cooperation." I met Sturges' gaze. "That doesn't mean I'm demanding your trust. I need to earn that, the same way you need to earn mine."
This is something I'm going to do. Alex is right; sitting around feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me anywhere, and that's what I've been doing for the last month. People are out there who need me, and I have people I need. Hiding from that just because I'm scared I might make a mistake again isn't me.
I've made enough mistakes for a lifetime. Making mistakes is something I've tried to drill out of myself and, in combat, I'd say I've been successful.
Now it's time to stop making mistakes where it really matters.
A/N: So Damon's at it again. Something I've really focused on, more so since chapter 21 and the ambush, is the difference between our SPARTAN's proficiency in fighting (and a lot of things that go along with it), and the rest of his inadequacies. In my mind, that would make sense; he's been little more than a weapon for most of his life. Now though, he's asking questions, especially about trust, and his impact on the world around him as much as the actions he takes. Obviously he's really bad at it, but I think exploring that is a lot more interesting than a story where everything is solved by an OP main character massacring everything in sight (though a lot of that happens here tbf). But… I think that's all the nonsensical rambling you get today, I'm off to drive for the better part of a day again. See everyone next time!
Next Chapter: 7/1, What's Most Important…