A/N: Okay everyone! We're on time this chapter! And what a chapter it is. This is actually a shorter one, but it's one I put a lot of time into. The title is a pretty good giveaway, as is the foreshadowing in the last chapter. That doesn't mean I'm going to spoil anything. Aaaaanyway, leave a review if you're so inclined and, as always, enjoy!
Chapter 72: Conversations Are Hard
"Guns down", I repeated as we started across the school's parking lot. The last thing I needed was for the guards to think we were looking for trouble. Granted, it's hard to mistake me for anyone else, but they aren't expecting us. No doubt they're on edge with the escalation in violence over the last few days.
I was walking at the head of the small group, Cass and Dogmeat just behind me.
A group Preston had talked me into bringing here
"I'm not asking you to lead these people into battle", the Minteman had said early this morning. "All I'm asking is you take them to the school with you."
It wasn't ideal. Dragging people along I'm unfamiliar with and who don't have experience moving through potentially hostile territory wasn't the primary issue.
"You want me to lead them", I had replied.
The dark-skinned man nodded. "Yes. You say that like you aren't someone people here look to for leadership. You've been involved in almost every major decision. The Minutemen take a lot of the cues from you."
"That isn't the same as leading a group across dangerous ground to a settlement we aren't officially allied with. I know how Cassandra moves. I know how Dogmeat moves. I can work with them. Giving orders to inexperienced personnel isn't something I do much." The last time I did it was when I reintroduced myself to the Railroad. Damn that felt like years ago. I hadn't enjoyed the experience.
"No. I'm not sending people with no experience. Julian-"
"Is a kid."
Preston cocked an eyebrow. "So are you."
"Is a kid who wasn't raised to fight."
"No", he replied, "but he has fought for his life. He's one of the best shots around and has worked directly with Glory. She chose him to lead the secondary QRF here."
I blinked. Wow. I might not know the Railroad fighter well but… that was an endorsement.
"... Okay. You won't miss him here?"
"No." Preston shook his head. "Glory will take his position for the next few days until you get back. The same goes for the others too. Jense has been training to be a… I don't remember what Able called him… A field medic?" I nodded. "A field medic. Blair is the only one who isn't working on stuff like that, but she made it here from the Capital Wastes. She knows what she's doing."
It's just to the school. We stay south, away from the fighting, and we'll be fine.
"They'll follow orders?"
Preston nodded. "They all know it's your show." He frowned before muttering, "not like anyone here is going to argue with you."
Oh really? "You do all the time."
"Well", he said, the frown flipping into a smile, "that's me."
Turns out Blair is an adept engineer. Sturges wanted to send her to the school to both provide support and see what she could learn from them. I hadn't said anything about their solar array but it was a good idea regardless.
They followed me toward the school and, same as last time, a greeting party came out to meet us. It included both Nate and Brenda this time.
"Good to see you again", Carter said. "Didn't expect it so soon." He waved toward the school. "Come on."
No surprise, or wonder, or excitement this time. Yeah, they're worried about the Brotherhood and Raiders.
Nate fell in beside me as we walked. "How are things?" he whispered.
"A lot of fighting. Raiders have been attacking settlements. A lot have been abandoned or destroyed. The Brotherhood is fighting them for territory. Power play for both. The Raiders want people afraid, Maxson wants people's trust."
The ex-soldier shot me a wry smile. "Good to know but we're gonna debrief inside", he reached up and rapped his knuckles on the side of my helmet. "I meant in there."
I cocked my head. "... Why?"
"Because you were a little messed up when we parted ways. Want to know my friend is doing alright."
"My friend." "We've reached that point?"
He shrugged. "I already told you, I never stopped considering you a friend."
"I did."
"Yeah", Nate muttered. "A bullet to the chest is a good way of letting someone know that." He huffed. "We've both got our issues with each other. That's life."
You're surprisingly willing to let go of me killing… I don't remember his name… "I'm supposed to trust you again? And you're telling me you aren't still upset I killed your friend."
The ex-soldier met my gaze again as we neared the school's entrance. "Grant." He turned away. "You've been trusting me. And yeah, I'm still mad about that. But- well. We'll have time to talk about that later."
That sounded ominous… and not necessarily a conversation I want to have.
"Maybe."
Our group entered the school's front entrance. The funnel they had set up in the entrance was unchanged, not that it needed anything.
Carter led us around the courtyard and into a larger classroom. Inside were a few old chairs and not much else.
No one sat.
"Things have been moving quickly", Carter said. His voice didn't have much of the excitement from last time. "It put us in a difficult position." He looked from Nate to me. "We don't like being forced to do anything."
Pat walked around beside him, the stocky woman frowning. "There's a lot goin' on out there that we don't know a damn thing about and, not to be rude, but these two have given us the idea you're in the middle of it. Still haven't told us how though."
… Shit. Here I was again, the focus of the negotiations. A quick glance at Brenda and Nate returned resigned stares.
"And I'm guessing you told them you want me to do the talking this time."
Carter nodded. "Good guess."
The muscles in my legs began tightening. I don't think these people would do anything, but I'm responsible for six people standing in the middle of a relatively large, well-defended settlement. No one is getting hurt or killed on my watch.
A fight isn't the right way to make that happen.
Cass started to say something but I waved her off. "I'm not in the middle of it. Most of what has happened would have happened regardless of my involvement. The difference is the Minutemen wouldn't be here as a potential ally. Some of my actions may have accelerated things but that goes for our capabilities too."
"What actions would those be?" the settlement leader said.
"Well…" I explained what I'd found over the last few days, the settlements we found, the fighting, the Raiders' disposition, the Brotherhood's current high-pressure tactics and aggressive expansion, the Minutemen's current refugee predicament, and our response.
"Okay, good to know, but from the sound of it nothing you did woulda sped this up", Pat said. "The Raiders and Brotherhood've been fighting for a while now. Doubt you getting rid of some of those bastards would do much if the base up north is as big as you say. So what did you do?"
Beside Pat and Carter, there were three guards in the room with the seven of us. I'm trying to gain their trust… is telling them the right move? Their trust isn't the only one in question. I have to trust them. If they pull what the Codmans did, decide the Brotherhood is a better bet, telling them I tried assassinating Maxson would be like handing them a grenade and closing my eyes. They could pocket it and do nothing. Or they could tell the Brotherhood and blow us to hell.
My eyes met Nate's. "Do you trust them?" I asked.
The ex-soldier blinked slowly.
"They'd rather work with us than the Brotherhood", he said. "They might like you more for it."
Sarcasm… now?
"Everyone besides you two, Brenda, Cass, Nate, and I steps outside."
"Oh", Carter said. "It's that kind of 'action'." I nodded. "Alright." He motioned to his three guards. They stalked to the door. They didn't look happy about it. Not like I'm going to do anything. But they aren't privy to my thoughts, so it's understandable. I have too many people with me to execute an assassination and get away clean. Especially with three of my group out with them.
"Go", I said to Julian. The teenager hesitated. You're supposed to be learning to follow orders… I cocked my head at him and he went ramrod straight.
"Okay." He herded the other two out into the hall with the guards.
"We have our privacy", Pat said once the door's latch clicked shut. "I'm hoping you don't disappoint."
"We attempted to assassinate Maxson a few days ago. Their disposition changed after that. I think it's both because they want to determine who's responsible and to accelerate their pacification of the region. They obviously don't want it to happen again."
Both of them adopted the now customary wide-eyed surprise. It's a little confusing. Anyone with a rifle could have attempted an assassination. Getting away was the complicated part.
"Bullshit", Pat said. "You tried assassinating the Brotherhood's leader." I nodded. "And you're standing here talking with me about it? Like we talking about the fuckin weather?"
"High-level assassinations aren't new for me", I replied. "I-" hmm. Not sure that's a good hole to jump down right now. "You know why I want to control who is privy to that information."
"How?" she asked.
I pointed to the McMillan. "Took a shot at the Prydwen from a boathouse on the peninsula. That was two days before we met here."
"Action-packed few days then", the guard muttered.
"It's been a non-stop ride for months", Nate said.
Silence fell over the classroom until Carter turned to his head of security. "Do you believe them?"
She shrugged. "It's possible with the right plan and a lot of luck. Do you?"
A low huff escaped Carter, almost like he was trying to suppress a laugh. "Yeah, I think I do." He looked at me, smiling. "And I get why you don't want this out for the world to hear. I'm sure the Brotherhood would be coming after you and the Minutemen if they knew. One of these days I'll have to hear from you which stories are true and which aren't. Today isn't that day though." His brow furrowed and he exchanged a glance with Pat. "We need some time to talk things out." Carter turned to Nate. "Not that I don't trust you, but I'd ask you to head back to your room until someone comes and gets you."
"No worries", the ex-soldier said. He jerked his head toward the door. "Let's go."
Nothing they said or did gave me any indication about what they were thinking. Brenda, Cass, and Nate all seemed comfortable enough. And if none of them looked alarmed so things were probably fine.
We filed out of the classroom, leaving Carter and Pat alone. Their guards were waiting in the hall and, from the looks of it, had been talking with Julian, Jense, and Blair.
"Not to disrupt your meet and greet but Carter asked us to head up to our room", Nate said.
"Darn", Jense said. "Just when we were becoming best friends."
Julian snorted as he walked to us. "You didn't give us long enough to do that."
The others followed and Nate turned down the hall.
"Hey- uh", one of the guards started. He was around the same age and build as Nate. "You- you said the Raiders have been attacking settlements up north. Have you heard anything about a town called Florence?"
"Where is it?"
"Maybe 20 miles north of here, and a little west."
I shook my head "No. I haven't been that far north. The Minutemen's settlements have had a large influx of refugees. I can ask."
He hesitated a moment before nodding. "Thanks."
After returning the nod, we started down the school's hall. I glanced at Brenda as we walked past more classrooms and rows of lockers. She didn't seem as tense as she had the other day. She still wouldn't meet my eyes. Would now be a good time to talk? Shouldn't I be focused on whatever's going to happen next? With the school? The Brotherhood? The Raiders?
Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't be concerned about this too. It isn't just about Brenda. I need to make sure I'm good. Part of that is making sure Brenda is.
I drew even with Nate just before we reached an intersection. A group of settlers were walking in the other direction and stopped briefly to greet us. They were polite, if a bit wary.
"I'd like to talk with Brenda", I said, just loud enough to be heard over the footsteps against a concrete floor. Julian and Cass had begun talking with the other two settlers.
He looked at me. "She's a big girl. I'm sure, if you ask her, she'll tell you if she wants to talk with you or not."
"That-" I paused. Maybe that… wasn't the right thing to say. "I meant… do you think it's a good idea to talk with her? I want to but…"
We started up a set of stairs. "Depends on what it's about."
What it's about? "What the hell does that mean?"
"You can't make her okay with what you do." He offered a sad smile. "Believe me. So how she responds depends on what you want to talk about."
My gaze drifted back to the others. Brenda and Cass were talking while the rest looked around the school. I think I saw amazement in Julian's open-mouth, wide-eyed stare. The school was far more intact than the majority of buildings in the Commonwealth. Even without considering the work the settlers here have done to reinforce it.
What do I want to talk with her about? An apology might help but… I might not be naive enough to ask "what am I apologizing for?", a better question might be "do I feel remorseful about it?" My past, before coming to the Commonwealth, is bloody, yes. I haven't taken the time to unpack it, which I probably should.
Is that really the issue here?
At the top of the stairs, Nate led us to the right and down another hall full of lockers and classrooms. The place was intact enough, I could almost imagine students walking through the building. This is something I never got to experience. I had classes, but nothing a normal person would experience. And as time went on, my classrooms became heavy forests, deserts, tundras, and getting hit a lot.
If that wasn't, what was? Or is it and I'm too oblivious to realize?
Maybe I ask her what the problem is. I can guess as much as I want but, at the end of it, I know I'm not emotionally intelligent enough to be right. Probably.
"Through here", Nate said. He turned to a door and pushed it open. Inside was another classroom that had been converted to sleeping quarters. There were a dozen cots, a few bunks, and a handful of chests, I guess to store clothes. The morning light streaming through the window cast stark shadows against the near wall.
The ex-soldier walked inside. "We have the room to ourselves."
That was… thoughtful of them. And security-conscious.
As the others began filing in, I stepped to the side. Brenda met my gaze, eyes slightly narrowed, when she neared the door.
"I'd like-" I cut myself off before I could make this sound like an order. Which it wasn't.
"Can we talk?"
Cass was beside her, Dogmeat between the two of them. The dog didn't seem phased by the quiet, panting with his tail gently swishing back and forth.
"I'll be in there", Cass said after a few seconds of silence. She started forward but, when neither Brenda nor I followed, Dogmeat stopped. Did he know something was up?
"Okay", Brenda said.
I blinked. "Okay?"
"Did you- yeah. Okay." She waved me down the hall.
Dogmeat followed behind me as Brenda led us into what looked like a small office. Hell, maybe it was a closet, I don't know. It was cramped, with the remains of a desk and two chairs. It felt like my shoulders were touching either wall. They weren't. But that's what it felt like.
"Brenda", I said as she sat in one of the chairs. "I-"
Come on. Right now isn't the time to freeze up.
"I don't think 'I'm sorry' is the right thing to say. Because I don't know if I'd mean it."
She cocked an eyebrow.
… I don't think that's what I meant.
"Not that- I am sorry you had to-" I'm sorry she had to kill someone? That isn't what she's upset about. "I- dammit."
This is going well. I clasped my hands together and jammed them down on top of my helmet. Perkins said if I needed help I could talk to Nate but… it's a little late for that now. "Hold on Brenda, let me go consult with Nate about what I need to say here." Yeah, Damon, that would go over great. Okay. Start from the top.
There was something akin to amusement in Brenda's expression. The right corner of her mouth was turned up in the ghost of a smirk and her cheeks were puffed out ever so slightly. So… maybe I should just… talk.
"Maybe you think I don't know why you're upset", I said slowly. "I do. I kill people. I've killed a lot of people. And it's a normal part of my life. I don't respond to it the way most people do. It isn't something I'm proud of, not something I'd brag about, but I don't know if, or how, I'd change what I am. That's why I don't think saying 'I'm sorry' would mean anything."
She sat in silence as I finished. The air in the small office felt like it was squeezing me through my armor. My helmet felt like it was touching the ceiling.
Even though my hands were still on top of it.
"... So, this isn't an apology then", Brenda said just before the uncomfortable silence grew unbearable.
"Not… exactly." I shook my head. "I talked with Cass after we left. She was scared of me. I don't blame you for that", I added before the thought might take root. "I understand both of you knew me as… the person you met in Sanctuary or, for the kids, the person who protects them. Learning more about what I do, and how I do it, was hard for you. It would be hard for anyone with a- uh- normally functioning brain."
By now the amusement was gone and the young woman pursed her lips. "This feels like it's meandering."
Oh. Well… yeah, I guess I can see that…
"Yes", she continued, "after I killed that Raider, I couldn't stop thinking "how can you do this?" You do it so… easily! Do you… not feel anything when you kill someone?"
"I… it depends. Most of the time, no. But that's been changing recently."
"Noth-" Brenda cut herself off before she could finish the word, mouth still open. "Recently?"
"You know about when I attacked Goodneighbor." She nodded. "That's the first time I can remember feeling… uncomfortable about it. At the time, I didn't- well, the better word is probably couldn't recognize that as guilt. Then when we were at the Railroad and I was supposed to attack them I-" Cass and Tommy's faces. The hurt. The anger from the others. People I've now fought alongside. People I've come to trust. People who trust me. People who are trying to make the world a little better for the Minutemen.
"I couldn't", I whispered, eyes dropping to the concrete floor between my armored boots. "When it happened, my only thought was keeping Cass and Tommy safe. Now I- I keep seeing everyone else who was there. People I would have killed." I met Brenda's gaze again. "It's the first time I've ever had the opportunity to get to know people after I was supposed to kill them. It's a lot harder to dehumanize your target when you know them. Then going back to Goodneighbor. I felt the exact same thing. And I realized it was guilt. I let my emotions over that, and Nate, get in the way of doing my job which bothered me even more. I wasn't performing as well as I could and that might have endangered you. That made me angry."
I lifted my hands from my helmet and let them fall to my sides.
"And two days ago I met three people who had escaped from a Raider attack. They'd been wandering aimlessly through the Commonwealth for two weeks when they found me. A boy, his mother, and a friend. The mother's name is- was Dawn. She had sepsis, an infection in the blood. It had reached her heart which is fatal."
It was then I noticed how intently Brenda was watching. I didn't know what she was looking for, but I don't think I've ever seen her as focused as she was now.
"Cole, her son, didn't want her to suffer. So- uh-" I paused as my throat tightened. I felt the weight of the knife in my hand. I saw her pale, clammy face. "So I euthanized her. I don't think I've ever had that much trouble doing it before." I mimicked a stabbing motion. "It's a strike I've performed so many times and- and if felt like-"
The rest of the sentence caught in my throat as I felt my eyes go wide. I'm explaining how I killed Dawn. Why the hell would she want to know that? How is that going to help anything?
"Sorry", I said as I let my hands fall again. "Sorry, I-"
"No, it's okay", Brenda said quietly. She leaned forward in her chair and clasped her hands in front of her, elbows resting on her knees. "Damon, no one who knows you is unaware of your… unusual perspective. I understand what you're trying to say. You feel guilty about killing- no, sorry- euthanizing her. And the guilt over killing some of the people you have is something you've been struggling with." She nodded slowly. "Guess that explains why you had a stick up your ass before."
"… Yes. But I- I don't know where that leaves… this. Like you said, there are things about me that are different. I know my perspective on what it means to hurt or kill people is abnormal. I know my mind can work in pretty fucked up ways. My first instinct is usually determining how to neutralize potential threats instead of figuring out whether they're genuine threats or not. Violence has always been my first and last answer. It's something I'm working on but I know, I scare people." I held my hands out to my sides for a few heartbeats before letting them fall for a third time. "But I don't want you to be scared of me. Because I'd never hurt you. I'm changing. Because of you and Cass, Nick and Ellie, Preston, Alex, and a lot of other people in the Minutemen. And… Nate. I know the me from six months ago wouldn't have thought once about killing Dawn. I like this version of me better than that one. I still have to fight and that will involve killing. But being your friend has helped me understand what that means. It's helped me understand why there are times it's wrong."
As I finished, quiet spread to fill the room again. It felt like I was rambling but I didn't know what else to say. Thoughts were coming so quickly, it was hard to get them out before the next one moved in to take its place. I'm used to fast pace, but this isn't my normal environment. Pace in combat and pace in conversation… two very different things. This time, the silence wasn't stilted. I didn't feel like the room was trying to squeeze me to death. Brenda had relaxed and her eyes were glued to my visor. A few days ago she couldn't even look at me.
After a few seconds, she cleared her throat. "Friend, huh", Brenda said, voice thick.
I nodded. "Yes." My own voice was struggling with emotion. Why? This isn't an overly emotional topic.
Because I care.
"Friends", Brenda repeated slowly. "Do you normally introduce yourself to new friends with a knife to the throat?"
"A gun to the back of the head worked for Nate."
She laughed. It was thick, but it was a laugh. I smiled.
"Crazy, isn't it, how you can build this idea up in your head even if you know it isn't completely true." The young woman rubbed her eyes. "I know you. I know you're violent, remorseless most of the time, and more than a little crazy. I know you're growing. But killing someone for the first time- it was so hard and so- I don't know- painful, I didn't- I don't understand how you do it- no. That isn't right. I understand how your history might make you… less aware of what killing someone means. It's something I can't picture for myself." She paused to take a deep breath. "But I forgot you care too. And I forgot you're trying to change, that you want to change. You have to understand, though, there are some things you aren't going to get around. Appreciating human life is something most people do. It will be hard for people to stomach your… unique perspective. Including me."
"Yeah. I know." It wasn't ideal, but it was understandable. Most people don't watch their world burn to the ground. Most people aren't raised by the government to be soldiers. "I just- I don't want you to be afraid of me. You're a good person. You're good with people. You, and everyone else in the Minutemen I care about, have given me a reason to figure… myself out." I looked at the ground again. "Maybe I'm afraid of losing that."
Once I finished, it felt like another silence was going to bloom between us. But it didn't. Brenda cleared her throat again. "Thanks, Damon. You saying that… it means a lot." I look at the young woman again. She was smiling. "Believe it or not, I kinda look up to you. You're confident, smart, and good at what you do. I might not like what you do, but I never stopped trusting you. Or your judgment. So to hear that from you…" her smile grew. "It feels good."
"I said what I believe."
Brenda nodded. "I know. And I trust you to always do that." She huffed. "People can be complicated and annoying. You might be difficult, but you're honest and straightforward. I like that."
I shrugged. "I don't know how to be anything else."
"Which is one of the reasons I like you." She stood. "I'm glad we had this talk."
That's it? I blinked. "So… we're okay? For now, I mean."
"For now, yeah. Just do me a favor."
"Okay."
"Keep trying. It may be a little selfish, but I don't want to be afraid of you either. You are my friend. Maybe I don't know a lot about what you went through, I do know what you're struggling with bothers you. I don't like seeing my friends upset."
Keep trying… I don't think I have a choice at this point. I don't like who I was, and I don't like the constant uncertainty now. It feels like my only option is to keep going until I figure this thing out. "I'll keep trying."
"Good", she said, reaching down to pet Dogmeat. He leaned into her hand. "This place still has a library. I've spent a lot of the last few days reading. My dad is a big reader. Something he always told me was "everyone has a story. It doesn't start when they're born and it doesn't end when they die. What they do when they're alive writes both the before and after though."" She laughed. "He probably stole that from something he read. He's always liked corny quotes. I think it fits here. You're trying to change how your story is written. That can't be easy. But I'm here to help."
More emotion, I'm not sure what, pride, relief, excitement, or something else, swelled in my chest. She cares enough to set her misgivings about me aside and help me change. It was- well I don't know what it was. It felt good though.
"Thank you", I said quietly.
Brenda smiled and stepped forward so she was standing directly in front of me in the small office.
Then she reached out and grabbed my hand. I let her pull it between us and she placed her other hand on top.
"You're a good kid. A little messed up, but a good kid."
A good kid… A lot of people would find it hard to look at me and say what they saw is a kid.
I looked down at our hands. Her right practically disappeared into mine and her left wasn't much larger than my palm.
But it didn't matter. It felt as if she'd just thrown me a lifeline. Whether it's one I'd fail without, I don't know, but it will make things easier.
And it's more than welcome.
"Thank you", I repeated and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
Once again, quiet filled the room. It was… nice. I don't know if this means she isn't afraid of me anymore. If she is, she's more courageous than I am. Her hands were stead, her arms were relaxed, and the smile was still on her face. Brenda was-
Dogmeat let out a low, whistling yawn as he sat between us, looking up at our hands.
Brenda chuckled. "He's right, it's probably time to get back. They'll start wondering." She pulled her hands back and exhaled slowly. "Oh, and don't tell Corey we held hands. He might get jealous."
"Jealous?" I cocked my head.
"Don't-" she smiled. "It's a joke. A bad joke. Don't worry about it."
"... Okay", I said as I began turning for the door.
Things were going to be okay. For now. There's still a lot we have to deal with but at least Brenda and I are okay.
As I swung the door open and stepped back into the hall, I felt good.
Now we have to deal with the encroaching war.
Somehow… that felt less daunting than talking with a friend about whether you terrify them or not. As long as I don't have to do all the talking, this is much easier.
That being said, I don't know if I prefer it. At least, not when the outcome is as positive as this conversation.
When we reached the room Brenda and Nate had been given, I swung the thick wooden door open and ducked through.
Everyone was sitting in the corner directly across from the door. They'd dragged a few chairs over and had clearly been talking before I stepped in.
Now they were all looking at me.
I moved aside so Brenda and Dogmeat could enter. Nate cocked an eyebrow and, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brenda nod.
The ex-soldier smiled. "Well then, we were just talking about strategy, if you care to join us."
"You make it sound so exciting", Brenda muttered, still loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.
"They don't pay me for my wit."
"Nope." The young woman started toward them and I followed. "Don't pay you for your brains either."
"Yes. Thank you for the reminder." Nate looked at me and motioned to the corner beside him. He was able to watch the room and door from there. It wasn't a stretch of the imagination to think he left room there for me on purpose.
Once Brenda had settled into a chair beside Cass and I was standing in the corner, Nate resumed talking.
"I don't know much about solar arrays but theirs is big. It covers most of the roof. They even built a few platforms to mount more on. They've got a backup fusion generator in the basement if things get crazy. Or if it's cloudy."
"Yeah", Brenda continued. "They're working on an energy storage system too. Obviously, no one here is too keen on sharing specifics with us. Yet."
"I'd like to help fix that", Blair said. "I noticed a few things on the way in they could do to reinforce their first lines of defense. And Sturges is testing a prototype battery bank we can run Sanctuary off of if something happens to our power generation."
Julian shifted in his seat. "I don't know if we should be that open about our stuff. We're here to make friends but… we need to make sure we're safe, right?"
It was a sound observation. She wasn't offering anything compromising.
"Yes", Nate said. "We'll have to be careful. Be too trusting, you end up in the middle of a hostile settlement, too aggressive and you miss out on an opportunity. We learned that over the last few weeks."
Brenda huffed. "Don't wanna pull another stunt like Diamond City. At least we'll have our Tin Man this time." She smiled at me. It was another genuine smile.
I nodded to her. At the same time, I didn't miss both Cass and Nate watching us.
"Right", the ex-soldier continued. "We want to use Damon as a carrot though, not the stick. The Minutemen are growing, but we aren't the Brotherhood. Obviously, these folks won't be siding with the Railroad or Institute. The thing we have no one else does", Nate jerked his head toward me, "is this giant metal bastard."
"Doesn't the Brotherhood have a bunch of giant metal bastards?" Julian asked, smirking. Kid thought he was being funny.
"Ask how well that's worked for them", I said.
"Yes", Cass agreed, smiling. "Our big metal bastard is better than their big metal bastards."
"I feel like everyone just wants to say "metal bastard" now", Jense mumbled.
The staccato sounds of footsteps on concrete came from the hall outside. It wasn't the first set I've heard but these ones felt like they were approaching the room. They were fast-paced and heavy. Did that mean something was happening? It was only one or two sets. If they were going to try something-
Didn't I just say I shouldn't consider everything a threat?
We're still in unknown territory here.
Boosting the gain on my helmet's audio, I tried to ignore the almost painfully loud conversation around me. The clatter of running drifted through the door. A lot of it. But it didn't sound like it was heading toward us. It sounded like it was heading toward the front of the school.
I turned my audio down and pushed myself away from the wall. "We might have a problem. A lot of activity outside. All of it heading to the front."
In the time it took me to finish talking, the conversation had stopped and all of them were sitting forward, tense.
"Details?" Nate asked.
"No." I shook my head. "Just audio." The footsteps were now audible to everyone else, almost at the door.
The others turned to the entrance as Carter swung it open. "Raiders are coming from the north. A large group. Doesn't look like an attack but we don't know. Me and Pat want to talk."
"Okay", Nate said, standing.
The settlement leader walked inside followed by his head of security. Both moved with the tightness of someone distressed and trying to hide it.
"We've been struggling to make this decision", Carter said. "Joining the Minutemen… we enjoy our autonomy. Given any other set of circumstances, we wouldn't be considering it." He looked at Nate. "We appreciate the help you've provided over the last few days, you know your stuff." The man turned to me. "And the opportunity to meet you has been… exciting. I haven't seen you in action, but the stories are pretty wild." He stopped himself with a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Carter isn't saying this to put you guys off", Pat continued. "We've been part of the local community for a while now. A lot of people here appreciate the freedom of living in this community. But we aren't stupid either. So we'll make a deal. We hear the help you're willing to give us if we join. We like that. What we need right now is help of the more direct kind."
Nate glanced at me, eyebrow cocked. "So… you'll join the Minutemen if we help with the Raider issue? Along with the other things we've talked about, of course."
"Yes", Carter said. "I want to do the right thing for the people here. For most of my time at this school, that's been to keep us unaffiliated with the larger groups. Now, we need to make sure everyone stays safe."
"I… think we can accommodate. We can provide added security but, if the Raiders are close, we can only give you what's here."
Security against Raiders? That could be tricky, depending on the size, their intent, and their leadership. It isn't like I'm going to run and leave these people to the mercy of the Raiders.
"How far away are they and how do you know?" I asked.
Pat and Carter exchanged a glance before the stocky woman turned back to me. "A runner from another settlement. Said they were moving slow, he got here about five minutes ago. He guessed they were 15 out."
It's strange they'd bypass another settlement to get here… 15 minutes isn't much to prepare.
"Did your runner know their force strength?"
She shook her head. "He said it was big but he didn't have a number."
This far from the base with the Brotherhood already trying to gather influence in the area, the force would have to be large enough to deter a direct engagement. Question is, does the Brotherhood have an upper limit to what they'll engage now? I couldn't imagine they would. Superior technology, weapons, and air support… They either don't know or are otherwise occupied.
"Why would the Raiders come here?" Brenda asked. "Is there anything besides this just being the largest settlement in the area?"
Nate shrugged. "That, or they know the Brotherhood are trying to build a base of influence and the Raiders don't want to give up a target like this."
Does any of this matter? Either this ends in a fight or it doesn't. We don't have enough information to know which so we prepare for the worst outcome.
"We don't know why they're so we plan for a fight", I said. "Nate-" I stopped as I looked at the ex-soldier. Carter and Pat know Nate better. They trust him more.
He must have seen the conflict running through my head because the man nodded. "Your show. Make the call."
Everyone, including the two settlement leaders, was looking at me expectantly. Okay.
"Nate with me. Brenda and Cass with Julian. His command." I turned to Pat. "Julian is one of our QRF team leaders. Let him know where you need help."
She squinted at me. "... Got it."
"Jense, provide medical support as needed. Blair…"
The small woman hefted her rifle. "I'll go with Julian. I'm handy with a gun."
Handy with a gun doesn't mean good in a fight.
Before I could protest, Julian nodded. "I'll handle it." The kid's face was firm and determined. It was a marked change from the Julian I knew a few weeks ago.
Static defense, especially operating as a support squad, allows for an uncommon amount of flexibility. It's both good and bad. If Blair can't cut it, it's easy enough to adapt. But it requires a cool head to make the adjustment on the fly.
Letting this happen is a risk but… Time to see if Glory knows what she's doing. "Good. Nate and I will move to a close standby position outside the school. If things go sideways, we're your diversion."
The ex-soldier looked at Carter. "This good with you?"
"Yes", he said, nodding. "Doesn't change what we're doing. Pat, get the five of them situated." He motioned to us. "You two come with me. All the entrances are secured, there's a basement that leads to a hidden access point west of the school campus. You can do whatever you need to from there."
Convenient… "Understood." We started following the settlement leader out, Dogmeat beside me-
Brenda.
I froze mid-stride next to her and Cass. The last time she saw Raiders, she killed one. It's only one Raider but… it was hard on her. Would she-
"I'll be fine", Brenda said quietly. Her eyes were hard and jaw set. "Just get the two of them back here alive."
"I will."
She nodded and we left the classroom turned sleeping quarters behind. The school's halls were empty as Carter led us back downstairs and to the north side of the building.
"Please don't come back this way unless you absolutely have to", the man said when we reached a steel door with faded red letters that read "SERVICE" stenciled on it. "We don't want people knowing about it. And the place is rigged to blow if something goes wrong so…"
Nate snorted. "So come in the front door. Got it."
12 minutes. "We'll be careful."
I pulled the door open and ducked through. A narrow staircase took us down into a pitch-black service corridor. Nate clicked the LED flashlight on as I activated my NVS. Thankfully, the blinding glare of a powerful light was compensated for, unlike the cheaper equipment I used during training. 'Painful' is the best word I can describe that experience with.
The hall was clearly meant for maintenance and not much else. I was barely able to fit through, my helmet scraping against the ceiling. The passage led to a T-intersection after 10 meters and we started double-timing it to the west. I had to be careful to not start bouncing off the walls with how little room I had.
Once we traveled about 150 meters, we reached a concrete staircase that ended at another steel door.
True to Carter's word, it spat us out in what looked like a small power substation. "Looked like" because everything was so eroded it was almost impossible to tell.
Dogmeat sniffed at the air as I listened for activity. I could maybe hear something to the north, but it was so faint, and mixed in with the now constant buzz of Vertibirds, there was no way to be sure.
Best position would be somewhere with elevation. Close enough to see the school, far enough to avoid detection and give us options. And we had to find one quickly. 10 minutes left.
Slipping out of the service area, we moved back toward the school's lot. Between the surrounding parking lot and the fields to the east, there was a lot of open ground around the settlement. That meant anything close would be to the north or south. Taking position on the south side would be beyond asinine so…
"How about there? That two-story on the northeast corner", Nate said, pointing to a blocky concrete building across the street from the school. The second story would give us a good view. It was about 250 meters away from the school, well within range of any of the weapons we have. We'd be crossing the assumed path the Raiders would take so we needed to move.
"Agreed."
I led the two of them around the north side of the parking lot. It was… strange to not concern myself with being spotted. These are my allies after all.
It made moving a lot quicker, especially with Nate in tow.
With about five minutes to spare, we made it to the building. It turned out to be a small apartment, the entrance blocked by a steel gate. At some point the lock had been broken open, maybe by the settlers.
Regardless, the exposed metal was weather-worn and corroding which means this was done a while ago.
The stairs were concrete so I didn't have to worry about breaking through them. The unit overlooking the parking lot was devoid of furniture. That supported my theory about the apartment being scavenged by the settlers. Not that it was particularly important at the moment.
Wooden floors groaned as I crept into the kitchen. It had a commanding view of the parking lot. I set the McMillan's bipod on the kitchen counter and knelt behind it. The unobstructed view of the school seemed too easy. Usually when I'm-
Well, I am playing defense here. I'm not trying to hide from the school.
Nate took position near the apartment's entrance with Dogmeat.
Now we play the waiting game.
Once we settled, I turned the gain on my audio up again-
Boots pounding on concrete have a distinct thud you learn to recognize when auditory cues are as important as visual ones. The heavy, rubber soles, usually a lot thicker, and firmer, than regular shoes produce a deeper, more staccato pounding.
I dropped my audio until I could just hear their marching. "Raiders are close."
"Copy", the ex-soldier replied. He shifted, wooden floor creaking underneath him. "This doesn't feel like an assault to me."
That was the direction I was going. Something… wasn't right here. Maybe he could put it into words. "Why?"
"This feels like something the Raiders we fought that first day I woke up would do: walk around like they own the place, intimate people with numbers and insanity. From what you told us, their new management is more… tactful. Hitting a large settlement like this, I can't imagine a world they'd revert to their old habits. They remove these guys, the smaller towns in the area are vulnerable. But that cuts both ways. The Brotherhood won't have to worry about diplomacy and they're a lot closer."
That all made a lot of sense. It served to strengthen the idea this wasn't an attack. But it wasn't what I was feeling. That was the… strategic side of things. There was something else, a broader decision. What are the differences between this settlement and the others?
The marching was almost here. I adjusted my grip on the McMillan, scanning the low-lying houses and apartments around the school. There were plenty of windows doors and crumbling walls someone could use…
What was different? Size is the first thing that comes to mind. Sanctuary and the Farms are probably comparable at this point. Nothing else I've seen is. The Brotherhood has more presence in the area. It's a stretch for the Raiders to get people this far south. They're bypassing a lot of ground to get here. Nate's right: wiping this place out would leave a power vacuum. Could they want to fill that? No, in this area, any power vacuum would be filled by the Brotherhood. So, assuming they aren't here to attack, why move a large force this far? There's only one answer I can think of.
"Intimidation", I whispered.
"Definitely."
That's it, isn't it? A forward operating base. "Eliminating the school doesn't gain them anything. Coercing their cooperation puts a massive base of power in the middle of the area the Brotherhood is expanding into."
"Staging, deployment, and resupply", Nate said. "And as long as they don't do anything extreme from here, the Brotherhood would have a hard time attacking."
When I pulled my eye from the scope to look at the ex-soldier, I found him already watching me. After a brief pause, he smiled.
"Great minds think alike."
"… yeah", I muttered as I turned back to the parking lot.
Just in time to see the first Raiders march across the street.
Then more.
And more.
The trickle of them turned into a stream of Raiders in their assortment of mismatched leather and steel armor. Their armaments were just as non-standard. Everything from pipe weapons to the large caliber rifles I'd seen the other night. I spotted a few recoilless guns in the mix too. Even if they didn't intend to attack the school, they came prepared.
A minute later, what must have been over 100 Raiders were scattered around the north side of the school. They stayed a few dozen meters from the building itself and every weapon was aimed at it. I wouldn't be surprised to see more held back in reserve. Whether that be for security or added intimidation, I don't know.
If, or when, the-
"Attention townsfolk", an amplified voice exploded into the late morning, "Castle would like to extend a very generous offer. Cooperate with us and we'll allow you entry into our organization. No strings attached."
It sounded like the speaker was in the middle of the 'formation'.
At least they're getting to the point.
A high-pitched ringing came from the school and followed by Carter's. The building had a working PA system?
"Attention Raiders. I would like to decline your generous offer. We've already accepted one. Please vacate the premises."
Scanning the crowd, I counted 14 Raiders armed with large-caliber rifles. Half of them were pointed at the school. The others were scanning their surroundings.
"The Brotherhood isn't here to help anyone", the Raider replied. "They want to rule this place. I know you don't like that."
The rest of their forces were fanning out around the school. It might have been the precursor to an attack. Or it could be an intimidation tactic.
"It's a good thing we've partnered with the Minutemen, then."
Judging by the relatively little cover provided by the destroyed cars in the parking lot, which I have no doubt are trapped somehow, I'd guess intimidation. Not well thought out but-
"Damon", a whisper came from behind me.
"The Minutemen, huh", the Raider said as I turned to Nate. "Those guys were already put down once."
The ex-soldier was still near the apartment's entrance, rifle aimed through a thin opening in the door. Dogmeat was beside him, crouched, ears forward, and the hint of a growl rumbling through his chest.
"I'm not interested in a negotiation, Raider. You and your people can leave."
I scanned the parking lot one more time before I pulled the McMillan off of the counter.
"We brought a lot of people a long way to come 'negotiate'. I don't feel like leaving just yet. You haven't heard what happens if you turn the offer down."
Nothing was making noise, at least not that I could hear. Dogmeat alerted to something though. It could be a sound, a smell, or maybe he just got a bad feeling.
Didn't matter. If this turns into a fight, I won't be useful as a sniper. I'll need to be mobile. I have the information I can get from here.
"I'm sure it has something to do with a long and painful death", Carter said. "If you don't leave, you're going to have a quick one."
I think I like Carter. It takes courage to stare down a fight this big, your life and the lives of everyone you know on the line, and threaten the other person back.
"Anything?" I asked, barely a whisper. I resecured the sniper rifle and shouldered my MK18.
Nate shook his head before jerking it toward Dogmeat.
"Are you threatening me? Someone our boss sent down here to negotiate with you? You think that's a good idea?"
"I did", Carter responded. "And I do. You didn't bring enough people to fight us. Not even close. You better bring everyone in that goddamn base down here next time. Not get off my front porch before I stop being so nice."
The ex-soldier blinked and turned to me. He was frowning incredulously.
Yeah. That might have been a bit much.
"Big talk from one settlement. You sure you wanna go down this road, Carter?"
They know his name… That didn't necessarily mean anything. Even so… we need to get someone from Able's team here to start searching for a plant.
"Glad you know my name. If you're trying to scare me, I know you could have learned it from any of the settlements you bastards attacked. We're pretty well known. I'm finished with this conversation. You can go, asshole. Damon, if he doesn't, I leave the next move to you."
Nate's frown deepened and I cocked my head. Why would-
"HA! Don't play with me, Carter. Damon? Damon!?" The Raider laughed again.
"They know your name", Nate mouthed.
How the hell would they know my name? How would Carter know they know my name?
"That's a pretty ridiculous bluff, even for someone talking as big a game as you."
"Feel free to take me up on it", Carter said. "We're with the Minutemen now."
Okay… I didn't know I was supposed to be a bargaining chip.
I crept back to the kitchen as quietly as I could. The Raiders in the parking lot were spread around the north and east sides of the school. 15 or 20 of them were scanning the houses but they didn't overreact to the name drop. That might be good discipline, it might be they have more forces searching for threats in the surrounding buildings.
The MK18 was sufficient for this range and, if things got violent, we'd need to move quickly. I peered through the scope to the large cluster of Raiders directly north of the school's entrance. That's where whoever was speaking was. Considering their improved tactics, I doubt they're dumb enough to have the negotiator be the same as their commander in a situation like this. Would their commander be with a reserve unit?
My mind flashed back to my failed capture of one of their commanders. He'd been hunkered down, away from the fighting. So probably.
Between the school's fortifications and Nate and I behind their front line, we aren't in a terrible position to engage. A fight this large would draw a lot of attention and be difficult to control. And impossible to come out of without losing people.
But we would win. I'm not about to let Raiders beat me. Not when helping defend that settlement is the objective. They're a major player for the Minutemen now. I can't-
"Alright, Carter, I'll give you this round. That bastard can't be everywhere, but on the off chance you are here motherfucker, I want you to know we'll track you down, peel you out of that armor of yours, and kill you. Slow. We all want a piece of you, Damon. And we're used to getting what we want. Don't let the Brotherhood kill you. We want our turn."
A grin spread across my face.
Yes, I may be struggling with my morals. I may be trying to change what I do.
But Raiders are Raiders. If these dumbasses want to call me out, who am I to decline?
A/N: Well that's a tease, isn't it? To be fair, the Raiders are under new management. Their strategy is... unusual but you'll see why they're doing what they're doing. As for Damon, this might be the most he's talked in a single chapter. And that's important. He's growing as a person. It isn't just him, though. The conversation between him and Brenda provides a lot of insight into how she, and several other characters, have been progressing. I've said it before, but writing a story with fluid characters, ones that aren't just there to facilitate a story or prostrate themselves to an OP badass SI main character (I've been reading one story in particular that... gets to me, I despise stories like that) is imporant to me. Nate, Brenda, Cass, Preston, Alex, Anna, Ellie, Nick, hell even Dogmeat and a bunch of others are people unto themselves. If they existed just to make Damon seem badass or cool, well that would be boring. Enough tangent from me though. I'll see everyone next time!
Next Chapter: 6/30, Subterfuge