Chapter 40

One of my secret pleasures was turning people into stuttering idiots. Bell was a favourite target for this, but since he'd really started to date Ais Wallenstein, he'd become less susceptible to any kind of teasing.

Welf was another one. But instead of 'adult' humour, like and offhand or 'innocent' comment about a woman, it was 'something he'd never thought of before'. Like me suddenly saying I wanted to marry another woman. Sure, Orario had same sex couples, but marriage wasn't really 'a thing' between them.

Hestia? Even eight years later, anything mildly erotic that she hadn't spent hours working herself up to talk about made her stutter and blush as red as Welf or Rias's hair.

But this...

I think, aside from Tetsu, Kunshu and Raphtalia, the last disqualified because she'd fainted, everyone was looking at me like I'd just grown a pair of breasts and an extra tail. To be fair... That is exactly what I'd done.

Then I noticed something...

Kodori Haruhime: Level 42

Wait... what?

"BOSS!" Tetsu, thankfully in her smaller form, hug-tackled me. I flopped to the ground, her body on top of mine as she rubbed her cheek against the side of my head. "You're okay! You were in pain, and screaming, and your hands! Clive! Hey! Bandages!"

Maybe I should have called her Suisei... Mercury? But her rapid transition from happy to panicked got everyone else to pull their jaw off the ground.

An hour later, more or less, and everyone had finally started back towards home. Past the sudden double take of seeing me as a woman, every single one of my 'slaves' had congratulated me, the rest of the party, and thanked us for slaying a horror from another age, and allowing them the honour of helping me remove it from the world forever.

My party, glowing with the praise from everyone, had returned the well wishes, and thanked them for their support.

But after it was all done, and Ake's knights started to escort them back to Van's property, my party and I had to start fighting to stay standing. We were all exhausted, hungry, and feeling the lingering hurts that potions only sort of dealt with.

Oh, and poor Raphtalia was pouting most furiously every second she thought no one was looking.

So, after watching almost everyone wander off, some looking back to wave, others to look up at the hundred year old tree (that was a little less than that many minutes old now), I made the executive decision to sit under my new tree, and start pulling food from the Shield's inventory.

Raphtalia, instead of turning her... I dunno what you would call it... anger? No, too strong... Confusion? Maybe? Whatever. Instead of questioning me directly, she pointed towards Tetsu, "You knew!"

Tetsu blinked at the accusing finger, (politely, such a good girl) finished chewing her mouthful of bread, and asked in that innocent way of hers, "Knew what?"

"That he... She was a girl!" Ah, now that finger moved to me.

"Um... yes?" Socially ignorant, Tetsu was failing to see 'the point' past Raphtalia's accusing digit.

"But you kept calling her Sir!"

"So did everyone else?" Tetsu scratched the back of her head carefully, "hair is weird and itchy..."

"Um..." Usa tried to interject, "How could you tell?"

"Cause she smells!" Tetsu said proudly, "Wait... no... um... she smells... smell? Scent! That's the word!" Tetsu leaned closer to me and sniffed, her little nose twitching. "Well... okay... she does smell a little..."

I set my loaf of crunchy 'travel bread' down on my knee and applied headpats to the dragon girl. Partially because she deserved them, partially to push her back so I could keep eating.

"You all know how I arrived. With the Queen absent, Aultcray had surrounded himself with men. Aside from a handful of servants and a couple of noblewomen, almost everyone in the throne room was male." Tetsu finally relented and sat up straight again, "So, I kept the illusion that I was a man. If I'd known this kingdom was a matriarchy..."

Melty sighed, "Father is... not his usual self." She said. "But how will you proceed from here? By now, aside from us and your people, the world believes you are a man."

My people... The phrase felt weird to hear, but the thought made my tails tingle.

"I could change back." I said, "It's something Kitsune can do."

"You can become a man again?" Raphtalia almost jumped on the idea.

"Not quite." I said, "Not enough for what you're thinking at least."

And now it was her turn to become a stuttering idiot. "Ah, s... ma'am?" Usa started, "You said you had children... back home."

"That was complicated. Magic, blood of the Gods, a very old potion formula... I haven't seen a moon in this world, so that won't happen here."

"The question still stands." Melty said, also blushing, but too well schooled to be turned into a stuttering idiot. (At least, for the second time that day).

"I don't know. I could simply own it. And we could continue our travels with nothing different than changing 'sir' to 'ma'am'. Or I could change back, this time with all of you in on the joke, so to speak, and only reveal myself if I need to." I shrugged.

There was a moment of silence, but Clive interrupted with a, "grr click." And carefully swished a hand at Raphtalia's tail.

"Oh, that is also... As I gain spiritual power, I gain a tail." It felt weird having only two tails, but they were doing their best 'lazy weave' behind me.

"So you might get more?" Tetsu asked, before pouncing them and hugging them tight, "Fluffy!"

I squinted my eyes shut to stop myself from making an embarrassing noise, "Yeah... nine... I had nine before coming here." The feeling passed, so I let her just keep hugging them. "But Melty? What would you suggest?"

A pause as she nibbled at the last of her own bread, "I think..." Another pause, "You should continue as you have been. Show only a select few the truth. Even if everyone here has seen, the refusal to see the truth about you will likely have Father not believe it even if it's reported."

Sneaky, but functional. "Very well. Then in public..."

Exhausted, I hardly remembered Van's maid telling me 'this is your room Sir Hero', before waking up the next day.

"master, you do not need to wake."

A quiet vibration of words went through my skull, and my slowly waking body registered Kunshu resting part of her weight over me. Like a giant cat or something. I also didn't remember her coming down from the new tree. Or letting her in my room.

Carefully, I raised a hand to pat one of the fuzzy antenna resting on one of my horns, "What have I said about skipping breakfast?"

"too late. The sun is past apex."

"Well... I shouldn't skip lunch then. And I have to use the latrine."

"i am sad."

The 'tone' was almost joking. But I took it seriously and gave what I could reach of her fuzzy carapace some attention. "I will comb the pollen from you after we gather, eat, and plan our next steps."

"the sad is gone." And her weight vanished from atop my shoulder with a faint 'bzz' and clicking of chitinous feet on wood floor.

Van was... professional. He, his maids, and everyone I saw until I left his manor took one look at me and just... Carried on as before. Good morning Sir. Would you like tea Sir? We've readied your wagon Sir. Here is the brush you wanted Sir. The thing that stood out about this though, was I hadn't actually told him any of Melty's plan.

But, apart from that little observance, it was as if we hadn't killed a legendary monster and made a titanic tree spring up from nothing last night. Well, at least until after we ate.

"Sir Hero." Van greeted as my party and I finished up the last of our packing. "A word before you leave?"

I glanced around at my party, saw they knew what they were doing without any micromanaging, and turned away. "Lord Van. Of course. You've been a gracious host to me, and..." It was hard to say, but it was true, "my people. I hope they can stay a little longer?"

"Certainly." He nodded, "Though that was part of what I wished to speak about."

He turned and started to step away, so I followed, "Not a problem I hope?"

"Not yet. No." He frowned, "While I know you are in the right, with the former guards, Idol, and bringing all of your people here. Until the Queen," He paused a moment to put a hand over his heart, "returns, they are not safe here."

"Ake?"

"Sir Ake and his knights are staying behind, and I've no doubt about their resolve. But..." He didn't want to state the obvious of course.

"We will hurry." I said, "Thinking on that though..." I held up a hand to stall comment, and looking into the 'middle distance' at my status screen.

Level... help... no no no... here?

The holder of the legendary weapon is not limited by a level cap.

"Bad news?" Van asked.

"Have you ever read a book that only had what you're looking for after you think about it?" I asked.

"I can't say that I have."

"It's a little like that. The Shield has instructions on how to use it. But unless I think of a question, I'll never think to look." I waved it away, "But yes, we will hurry. Have you found some volunteers?"

"We have. And..." He stopped suddenly at a stable stall and clicked his teeth a couple of times. A moment later, a robust looking Knight Dragon with dark grey scales poked its head out of the stall. "Yes, good morning to you too." Van said, giving the dragon's jaw and neck some firm rubs.

"Excellent." I nodded, "It will be dangerous for them. Please stress that? Once they're discovered..."

"Of course."

"Thank you. And thank you too." I joined in on the dragon pats.

"You smell like another dragon!" Tetsu of course, was jealous. "Who was it?! I'll bite them!"

She had just gotten into her harness for our wagon-home, and nearly pulled it onto its side trying to sniff at me. I hastily sidestepped so she wouldn't tip our home over then gave her favourite spots some scratches. "Now now. It was the one who was going to pretend to be you. Almost no one knows you've got wings now."

"oh... that's... yeah right there." Tetsu's jealousy vanished.

"Is everything set?" I asked.

"We're all packed. Food, a few extra blankets, spare clothes..." Usa paused. "Kunshu? Are we forgetting anything?"

Kunshu's head appeared under the top edge of the wagon's door, and she held out a brush with one of her hands.

"Once we're on the road." I promised. "Oh, Clive? Did you get that thing from town?"

He nodded, but made an exaggerated 'scratching my head' motion.

"I'm going to turn it into a glass furnace. I'm going to give us, and our allies, every advantage I can. And the next step is fast communication. Now where's Melty?"

The answer to that met us just out of town. The Princess rode up beside the wagon on her nice blue feathered filolial (one of the three that Tetsu had an understanding with). And her first words were, "She's staying behind to continue training your people."

"You really should... I dunno... talk to her?" Raphtalia said.

"I tried that. She didn't believe me. Then, she beat the crap-" My newest tail swatted the back of my head, "out of me without actually teaching me anything. But when I do see her again, I'll ask the person next to her if she's taught them anything useful."

There was a bit of nervous laughter, but the subject was dropped.

"How will you get past the border?" Usa asked, "We... well, we're probably well known by now."

I considered for a moment, then shrugged, "We've got a merchant's licence, stuff to sell, ways to disguise ourselves, money to bribe guards, and if we really need to, a dragon who could probably pull down any wall we asked her too."

"That's me!" Tetsu laughed, "Oh... I smell tasty monsters!"

We all sighed, "We're in a hurry you..."

"I know... but..."

Gluttonous dragon aside, it was actually a good thing we stopped for the occasional monster spawn. With the Shield's storage, and a little folding table we could use outside the wagon to skin and carve our kills, we actually had a lot of extra. And if we were going to pretend being merchants, well, we'd need things to sell.

Traffic, if you could call it that, was almost nonexistent. We met a single patrol of knights, who in their usual fashion glared at us but didn't give us much trouble once I flashed my merchant's license. But you might wonder 'why no trouble'?

While out in public, and in no danger (or almost no danger) of meeting anyone we knew, I'd let my 'male' disguise go, but hidden my ears and tails. Now it was everyone else who was hiding their true self. Melty was wearing a pair of cat ears. Usa hid his ears under his helmet and wore a simple mempo (lower face guard). Clive stayed in the wagon, since there was little we could do about his features. Raphtalia wore a bonnet (that was adorable) and slicked her tail to something less puffy with a little oil.

Oh, and Kunshu was napping in her attic.

Now that I knew Melromarc was a matriarchy, I was just a 'human woman' with her 'personal guard' sponsored by the Elder Hunter in Riyute.

So, we didn't have much trouble on the roads at all. It was when we got close to 'the border town' several days later that we ran into some old faces.

"Ma'am." Usa mumbled from behind me through the curtain covering the door into our wagon, "Ambush just over the hill."

I glanced behind me and nodded, then looked ahead. Tetsu looked back at me to show she'd heard as well, and we all silently got ready, yet didn't show we had noticed at all. Beside the wagon, Melty on her filolial got just a little closer to the side of the wagon.

"We are close to the northern border. There are a few small settlements between here and there. They are... not quite... part of Melromarc proper." She explained.

"Too far and too poor for much attention?" I asked.

"But also too small to be a country of its own. The leadership changes frequently as a result." She nodded.

"Oh, is this the place the Bow 'helped'?" Raphtalia asked.

I didn't know, but considering he liked pretending to be Batman, maybe? "Wasn't there a lord up this way?" I asked.

"Thinking on it, the Ivyred territory is a little east of here, but... I am unsure where their loyalties lie..." Melty sounded sad.

But then we crested the hill, and it was a supreme effort not to facepalm, sigh, and give away that I'd seen this man before. Yes, it was one of the bandits we'd... left tied to a tree back near Lerno. If it was even possible, they looked even more scruffy than the last time, but there was no doubt.

"Eh heh heh! Stop there, and empty out your wagon!" He demanded.

And, as if by magic (if you were maybe ten years old, or blind) every patch of cover and scrubby bush produced another bandit. Predictably, there were some evil chuckles, more than a few 'oh some fun afterwards' comments, and a bit of menacing weapon waving.

Not caring about any of that, and bound by my personal promise, no matter the shape of my body, I shifted in my seat a little and gave the wooden wagon door two knocks. Most of the bandits grinned as I (I suppose I did look rather pretty) shifted over as if to dismount from the driver seat and surrender.

Except the one in the lead. He flopped over backwards with an the feathers of a metre long arrow sticking out of his forehead.

A bit later, a little before dinner time, we came up to the border of 'the neutral zone'. From what Melty described, it was kind of in a triangle section between Zeltobe (already a small 'country'), Siltvelt (the next stop so long as nothing went wrong in Zeltobe...) and Melromarc. Petty lords and tyrants rose and fell on average every year or two, but Zeltobe didn't care, Melromarc was a little far, and Siltvelt couldn't be bothered, it was just... there.

But, it still had a wall, it still had guards, and it still had paperwork.

"Reason for visiting?" An overworked looking guard asked as we rolled up.

"Merchant, planning to trade a little here, then move on to Zeltobe." I replied, pulling the merchant's license out from between my breasts, "Oh, and dropping off some bandits."

He looked at me, or rather, into my cleavage as I leaned down a little so he could read the little bronze plaque, then leaned over to look behind the wagon. We had a dozen or so bandits in various states of repair, tied up and gagged. If we weren't already close to the town, I might have just executed them, but it wasn't a long walk.

"A bit of entertainment for tomorrow afternoon then." He said, looking up at me with... Well I wasn't quite sure what it was until he said, "I'll need to see your permit of trade."

Ah... Raphtalia was right, this must have been Itsuki's doing. He was asking for a bribe, but it was clear on his face he didn't want to. He was under orders. So, I reached into a pouch, "I have my permit right here..." I paused and gave him an understanding look, and he held up two fingers, stuck out his thumb, and then extended his little finger, in that order.

Next time I saw that nice artifact merchant, I'd have to buy him dinner again. I counted our party (five if you didn't count Kunshu and Tetsu) and multiplied that by twenty. One gold total. The fingers were multiples of ten, the little finger was 'silver' and the thumb was 'per person'. But I also did a quick count of the nearby guards, and mixed in a silver for each of them. This town looked to be in rough shape, and that probably meant 'the working class' were getting screwed.

"Thank you ma'am." He said, not smiling, but really putting a lot of feeling into the words. "If you're staying the night and setting up for the morning market, there's an inn two streets past the main square." His tone for that was practically begging me to stay the night and set up for the morning market.

"I'll be sure to do that." I nodded, "What about our... garbage?"

He looked behind the wagon again, "We'll take them off your hands just inside the gate. They won't bother anyone again after mid day tomorrow."

Yes... This town wasn't just poor. It was suffering. The population didn't seem to have much in the way of segregation, like the Castle town between the humans and demi-humans. Everyone was just poor. It wasn't quite to the point of needing to kick people away from the wagon, but I could tell that the citizens were eager to see what we had for sale.

That meant they had little in the way of self sufficiency, and the newest local lord was squeezing money out of the people so hard that the merchants weren't bringing anything, including food. I could see Melty thinking the same thing I was, as we passed a four person gallows on the way through the main square.

The innkeeper was surprised to see us, but basically fell over himself trying to keep us as customers. Due to the newest lord squeezing everything he could from the people about all he could offer for food was a thin soup that might have had a vegetable near the pot at some point.

So, I got out my bartering cap, and got us a all a room for the night for almost no money, but enough wild meat to maybe bring in some business.

Tetsu had to stay in the stable with our wagon, and required all kinds of headpats and nearly a half hour of scrubbing from her new favourite bristle brush. However, we also told her that she could growl at anyone but us and the poor stable boy who worked there if anyone tried to touch our wagon. Kunshu was under similar orders, but only needed five minutes of brushing.

The beds were at least clean, but with the town so poor, we still set up a watch.

"Ma'am." Usa said very quietly into my human ear, his hand very gently touching my shoulder.

I opened my eyes, saw that it was still dark out, and figured it was watch rotation. So, I sat up, waited for Usa to move so I could get my legs over the side of the bed, and stood.

But Usa didn't move any further. He had this... look on his face. One that took me nearly an entire minute to figure out. All I had to do was turn his age back to something closer to my own children. One part sad, one part hesitant, one part question. It was probably just me being a 'woman' now that brought this out.

But considering everything I knew about Usa, I didn't see the harm. So, I reached out with a hand, captured his head, and hugged him to my shoulder. It took him a moment to 'unfreeze', but his good hand reached around my back, his fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt.

"You've done well Usa." I said as quietly as I could into his ear, "No matter what anyone says, I am proud to have you as a friend."

He shook a little, sniffled exactly once, but nodded into my shoulder. A moment later, his hand relaxed.

"Now get some sleep." I said, getting another nod.

A minute or so later, Usa was snoring as loud as he ever did (not very, since he'd wake himself up), and smiling.

The next morning, after a much better soup, we got to the middle of town, asked a guard where we could set up shop, and did so. Honestly, we would have been better off leaving right away, but...

But I was still the Beloved Kitsune of Hestia. And I couldn't ignore this.

By lunchtime, it felt like I'd seen the entire city, twice. We had many repeat customers, first to throw what little copper they had at us to buy food. Then again when they went home to fetch stuff to barter with.

Then, at lunch time, when I figured I'd get a great big pot of soup going and mix in some medicine to help with what sounded to be the onset of a city wide case of sniffles, our 'friends' from the mountain pass were led into the square.

Bound hand and foot with chains they were led up to the gallows.

"Such a shame, Yes Sir." Someone next to me said.

This actually surprised me. Both the voice, and appearance of this man. Dressed in a nice smokey purple suit with a tall wide brimmed hat resting both gloved hands on a nice cane, was the Ringmaster. Or rather, someone who looked VERY similar.

He stood just out of arms reach of my big cooking pot, his gaze directed at the first four men being led up the steps to the neatly lined up hangman nooses.

"And what shame is there, in the death of bandits such as these?" I asked.

Hearing me talking to someone, Usa peeked out of the wagon behind our little stall. "Ma'am? Ah!" And his head vanished back inside.

This Ringmaster's hat tilted ever so slightly towards the wagon, "Skittish fellow. It is a shame that they chose their luck out there, when they could have tried their luck in the arenas."

Raphtalia hopped out of the wagon a moment later, an armful of wild vegetables in hand, "Oh... It's... Wait..."

Again, that tiny hat tilt, "Ah, you must be confusing me with someone. Pardon me however." He touched the brim of his hat, then stepped forward, "Stop!"

Being the only well dressed person in a sea of poor and destitute, he got everyone's attention very fast. The guards however knew exactly who it was and one of them stepped away from the waiting bandits (who were watching their currently strung up fellows anxiously), "Ah, come for an intervention then?"

The chubby man in the nice hat and tailed suit tapped his cane to the cobblestone, "Yes Sir." He said, "This one. This one, and... these two." He said.

Raphtalia mumbled into my ear, "He has the same attitude as him."

I nodded, watching a little money exchange hands, then the guards untying, then retying the four that had been chosen. They were the best looking, from a physical standpoint. But were really just lucky not to have been killed while we captured them.

"Now. Don't let me interrupt you further." The Ringmaster lookalike said with an audible grin, "And you four. If you work hard for me, this won't happen to you."

All too eagerly, the guard up on the gallows pulled the lever. All at once, the floor dropped out from under the four in the nooses.

I actually tried to feel something, watching the ones who didn't have their necks snap kick and struggle. But nope, nothing. No pity, no anger. I might as well have just signed a tax form or something for all the emotion I had in that moment. Raphtalia had turned away though, and was gripping one of my tails. That... That I felt something about, and by the time the bandits had stopped struggling, she had both tails, one in each hand, and was squeezing them.

"Next!" The guard called.

The Ringmaster came back in my direction, bowed, and said, "I look forward to your visit. Ma'am Haruhime."

I didn't reply before he had turned and started walking again, a monstrous muscle man wearing a clown mask peeling himself out of the shadows nearby to walk alongside him.

"He knows?" Raphtalia mumbled, still not turning around.

"Tetsu probably." I said, "Only one of her in the world, and I'd never sell her."

She nodded, "Can you..."

"I'll be fine. Go make sure Clive isn't making a mess or something."

If we hadn't basically found and processed everything we had sold/bartered that day, our total profits were, maybe, what we spent getting into the city.

But, the day of what amounted to down time was very much needed. For the most part, the entire party had a day's worth of 'self improvement time'. Reading, enchanting, equipment care, personal care, extra sleep, headpatting Tetsu, Kunshu or Melty's filolial until they fell asleep.

And me? I ran the 'shop' and gave out soup. Domestic stuff that let me mysteriously cure a city wide case of the sniffles (or whatever it was going to end up as). We also bartered for some clear glass. Mostly ornaments and the like. Since I hadn't seen a white sand beach yet, I was going to recycle it to make a bunch of Occulus. Or at the very least, 'sound stones' like we had in Orario.

I also put some thought into how to fix the city itself. I mean, I fixed Orario and Rakia... How hard could a tiny little city like this be to fix? I might only have to 'dispose' of one person too! But that would have to be later.

"All set?" I asked as we finished packing up our stall.

"I think so?" Usa looked around, "I... don't like it here."

Raphtalia nodded agreement, and from inside the wagon I heard a quiet 'thump' and a "Grr."

Peeking inside, I saw Clive tying a rope around a few of our barrels, securing them to the wall much like you would in a modern cargo truck. One of his eyes pivoted in my direction, and he gave me a thumbs up.

Looking up, I spotted Kunshu's head peeking out from over her 'shelf' in the wagon attic. She also gave me a thumb's up, or her version of it at least.

Tetsu, who had been silent the entire time since just before the bandit encounter, nodded and presented the side of her head for attention. So while I rubbed the side of her head, I said, "Right. Time to go."

"Going to need to see your permit to leave." The guard at the east gate said.

"Coming in, and leaving too?" I asked.

It was a different guard, but the apologetic look was the same. "We're not going to have a problem, are we?" He asked with the exact same amount of feeling you'd expect from a minimum wage teenager working at a department store.

"Do I get a cut from the profits for the bandits I brought in?" I asked.

"No."

"Or the free soup I handed out in the market?"

"No."

"Or from coming back later and replacing your current lord, again, so soon after the Bow Hero killed the last one?"

"N..." He looked up at me with a serious 'this bitch be crazy' look, then decided that he wasn't paid enough. "Don't come back this way." And he waved ahead to the two guards who were waiting to shut the big wooden gates on me. "Unless you're serious. Move along! Move along!"

Notes!

... No, no notes. Though, next chapters will have a rather serious sequence break in things. :)

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