Chapter 15

It was the most beautiful place Elain had ever seen. She had wandered the gardens around the house for about an hour before she allowed herself to stop. It hadn't seemed right to sit in one place without at least seeing more of the garden first. She hadn't seen all of it yet, but at least she had made a start. Sinking down onto the soft grass beside a large lattice laced with purple roses, Elain gave a pleased sigh. This was exactly what she had needed after the morning's unpleasant event. Being out here like this, she knew that she would be able to recharge and that she would feel better by the time she went in later.

Laying back on the grass, Elain stared up at the sky listening to the sounds of the garden and, in the distance, Lucien's steady heartbeat. She was fairly sure that he was still asleep, and she hoped that when he awoke, he would be completely healed. She also hoped that she never saw anything has horrible as what she had witnessed in the dining hall that morning again. She shuddered as she remembered the sickening sound she'd heard when Tamlin had thrown Lucien into that wall. It was unlikely she would ever forget that and, she figured now, that had probably been what had broken his ribs.

She still didn't know what had made her fling herself in front of Lucien. She hadn't wanted him to be hurt, she knew that. Tamlin had been about to tear him open, she had seen that, and she remembered the fear that had speared through her. The thought of Lucien being killed had pushed her into action, but Elain was still unable to tell if the fear had been her own, or created by the bond. That was where she was caught up, she wanted to know if it was manipulating her or not. It was dangerous if it was. He was right, she could have been killed. The thought did nothing to change her mind, and she knew that she would do it again.

Footsteps caught her attention, and she sat up quickly. She knew that Lucien was still up in his room, so she was halfway to her feet before she saw Tamlin striding toward her. Having nowhere to go, Elain straightened her dress and turned to face him, trying to look less afraid than she felt. He came straight toward her, stopping a few feet away as he looked at her. Elain fisted a handful of her dress nervously, not knowing what to say to him.

"…Are you okay?" he asked, his green eyes looking over her.

"Yes." Elain watched as relief filled his features and he nodded, his eyes coming back to his face.

"I am sorry." He told her, "I… did not intend to hurt you."

"Lucien healed me."

Tamlin nodded again, looking away for a moment, "Good… that's good…" Elain just watched him, wondering if he had come to find her specifically. "Is… Lucien okay?"

For a moment, Elain debated telling him that Lucien was just fine, or would be when he was done healing. She didn't like the idea of just dismissing what Tamlin had done, however, especially considering the fact that Lucien had said he had done it before. "He's still healing." Regret crossed the High Lord's face again. Good.

Elain remined silent, just looking at Tamlin who was clearly struggling to come up with something else to say to her. "Would… you walk with me?" he asked after a moment, "I have given some thought to your request for your book…"

"Yes." She replied, dusting her dress off and hoping that he wasn't going to lead her too far away from the house, still not overly comfortable with being alone with him. "Thank you."

When Tamlin gestured ahead of them, Elain fell into step beside him. They walked silently for several minutes and she couldn't help watching him out of the corner of her eye. This was the male that Feyre had fallen in love with when she had first come to Prythian. This was who she had risked her life for. He had provided for their family when she had gone…

Softening slightly, Elain looked around. "Your garden is the most magnificent I have seen…"

"I wish I could take credit for that." His response was soft. "It is simply the way of things here." Elain nodded and continued following where he led. "I thought you might like to include these…"

She came to a stop beside him as he bent over a small bush on the edge of the garden bed. "Oh…" Elain looked closer at the lovely blush coloured flower shaped like an elegant star. "I've never seen this kind before…"

"No," Tamlin agreed, "They only grow in the Spring Court."

Pulling the small book Lucien had given her from her pocket, she began trying to sketch the flower. "Do they have any special significance?"

"Not in any particular way or use, that I am aware of." Tamlin told her, "But they are a feature in much of the decoration of the estate… There are several rooms in which they feature quite prominently."

"Whoever decorated must have appreciated them…" She murmured, eyes still on her work.

"Likely so."

When Elain had written down what he had told her, she looked up at him. "I didn't bring anything else I would need to properly capture the colours… so I'll have to return later for that. Did you have any others that you would like included for the Spring Court?"

"Our most commonly recognised…" he took her further into the garden. "These grow everywhere around the court, but this is the most impressive in the garden."

She was indeed impressed. Standing before the large bush, Elain took in the deep red roses with what came close to awe. Dropping to her knees to get a better look at one of the flowers, she tried her best to capture the shape in her drawing. Upon finishing, she got to her feet again, dusting herself off, and when she turned to look for Tamlin it was to see him staring at her thoughtfully.

"You are nothing like your sister…"

"Oh," she closed her book, "I'm no artist, I know…"

"That's not what I mean."

"Then what did you mean?" She met his green stare evenly.

"You're…" he paused, clearly searching for the word he wanted. "… nicer."

Elain almost laughed. "Because Feyre would have probably punched you for what you did this morning to Lucien?"

"Yes."

Elain frowned. "I see."

"You are as she said." He continued, "When she spoke of you… and Nesta."

"What did she say?"

"That you have a gentle heart." His eyes moved over her, "I'm glad that you were … unchanged… by what happened to you."

"I wouldn't say I was unchanged."

"I mean in nature…"

Elain looked away. "Ah."

"I am truly sorry." Tamlin told her, "For what happened to you. I did not know what Ianthe…" he fell silent for a moment.

"I remember you trying to stop it." She eventually said, looking back to him. "When they were trying to put me in it… You and Lucien both tried to stop it."

He gave a brief nod. "I regret that I could not."

Watching him, Elain believed him. She could see that he truly did regret what had been done to her, and any part he may have played in it, knowingly or otherwise. She could also see the deep sadness within him, and the struggle to contain himself. There was a severe lack of confidence in his abilities as a leader, and hurt for what had happened to his court. There was something else, too, that glimmered at the edge of her vision. Not knowing where the words came from, Elain began to speak.

"This will all change." She told him, "Not today or tomorrow, but it will change. And you will change with it." Tamlin gave her a confused look and she smiled at him. "You will be happy, one day." She said, "You will have peace." His look turned to one of longing, and she smiled again. It was then that Lucien's heartbeat changed, and Elain turned toward the house.

"Do you wish to return?" Tamlin asked her, and Elain nodded.

"I think I should."

Author's Note:

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