Chapter 27

Once breakfast was over, Lucien had promised to show Elain around the house and the grounds. She had been thoroughly enchanted by the spectacular beauty of just about everything she looked at and she supposed this had been the kind of place she had always imagined a faerie court might look like. Everything looked ethereal and otherworldly, and she loved it.

Once Lucien had shown her the formal rooms that guests were often entertained in, he took her upstairs. She had told him that she wanted to see where he had used to live and, though she could see the hesitation in his eyes, he had agreed.

"I… don't even know what the room would look like now." He admitted, taking Elain up some stairs.

"Do you think it would have been cleared out?"

"The thought had occurred to me…"

Watching him out of the corner of her eye, Elain could feel the warring emotions swirling through Lucien. He didn't know what he even wanted to find. Would it have been better to find the room untouched? To still have that connection to this place and these people? Or, would it be better to find that they had cleared his room out, cutting him entirely out of somewhere he had grown up and tried to belong? He didn't know, and Elain felt sorry for him.

After following Lucien down several more hallways, Elain found herself standing in front of a large oak door. Lucien glanced at her before taking a deep breath and reaching for the door handle, pushing the heavy weight open as he moved inside. Elain stepped in after him, her eyes flicking around the room.

It hadn't been lived in for quite some time, that was obvious. Longer, Elain realised, than she had been alive. Heavy velvet curtains hung crimson and magnificent by the windows, letting in pale golden light that cast the rest of the room in an ethereal glow. Her eyes moved along the walls, taking in the dark wooden bookshelves, filled with gilded tomes, to the mahogany desk in a nearby corner. The bed was draped in a dark brown bedspread that looked as if it had been sitting outside under an autumn tree, leaves having fallen to rest upon it and, as she moved closer, Elain noted that each of the leaves had been embellished with golden thread.

Turning toward Lucien, she paused when she caught sight of his face. He was standing in the centre of the room, staring unseeingly toward the windows. Looking at him in the golden light, his hair tied back and shining almost as brightly as the golden thread of his bedspread, Elain noticed how well he suited the room. "…was it like this when it was yours?"

He appeared to shake himself, turning his head to look at her, and even his eyes, both russet and gold, were at home here. "Mostly." He responded, voice gentle. "… most of my personal things are gone, but the room itself is unchanged."

"… do you miss it?" He looked so much like the room, it seemed strange to Elain that he had existed for so long in a place that was not this.

A strange expression worked its way across Lucien's face and she could see him trying to figure out an answer to that question. Turning her own eyes back to the room, Elain stiffened as her vision shifted.

Standing by the window was a tiny thing, clearly Lucien, with his vibrant red hair, clutching a book to his chest as he stared out past the curtains. Elain wasn't exactly experienced with guessing the age of fae younglings, knowing they aged differently to mortals, but she could tell he was very young. When she blinked, he vanished, and instead was now curled on the centre of the large bed, possibly slightly older now. Elain watched as he cried, and she could somehow feel his hurt and confusion. He didn't understand why the others excluded him. Taking a step toward him, Elain blinked again and he was gone. Instead, he was now a young male, not quite in his prime, seething with anger as he paced back and forth in front of the bookshelf. He had begun to disagree with his father and brothers, but they never heard a thing he said. The Lucien that appeared next, lying on his back on the bed was happier, she would have been able to tell from the wide smile that spread across his face if she hadn't been able to feel it. Excitement, contentment and, she thought, possibly love. This was the Lucien who had been in love with Jesminda. When she blinked again, he was still on the bed, but much younger once again, and she watched as Ashk bent over him, tucking the covers around him and smoothing his ruby hair back from his face. The warmth of that scene washed over Elain before she blinked again and he was back to pacing, older and angrier. Not pacing, she thought, watching him move around the room. He was packing. She watched as he hurried around, grabbing things from drawers and cupboards, and she could feel the devastation and the rage coursing through him. He was leaving.

Staggering back, Elain shook herself, her vision returning to normal. Lucien, her Lucien, was standing where he had been before, in the centre of the room, looking at her apprehensively.

"What did you see?" he asked, wariness in his voice.

Elain just looked at him. He looked like he didn't know what to do, standing there, his fingers fiddling restlessly with the cuffs of his jacket as his eyes focussed intently upon her. Part of him longed for this place, she could feel it, but she could also feel the certainty that he could never belong here again. Too much had happened, and it would never be home. So much sadness and anguish filled this room, and Elain wanted to make it stop, take it away. He stood, watching her, and waiting for her answer, and Elain made the decision as she met his gaze.

She crossed the room in three steps until she was before Lucien when she went up on her toes, lifting her hands to tug him down toward her, and she kissed him. His surprise lasted only a second before she felt his arms wind around her, one around her waist and the other lower as he lifted her to himself. Elain felt her feet leave the ground, and she wrapped one of her own arms around his shoulders, her other hand remaining at his jaw.

His heartbeat had quickened, she could hear it thundering in his chest, and the fire and heat that was often so close to the surface within him flared to life, but Lucien did not seek to take control of the kiss. There was no demand from him at all, he simply allowed her to do as she wished, holding her to himself as he responded to whatever she chose to do. Elain stroked her fingers slowly along his jaw as she sought to deepen the kiss and Lucien tightened his hold on her as she slipped her tongue into his mouth, licking tentatively at him, pleased that he still tasted of honeyed pears. The soft groan he made sent pleasant tingles through Elain, encouraging her to continue what she was doing.

When Lucien put Elain pack on her feet, she held on to him a moment longer. "What was that for?" he asked, both his russet and gold eye meeting her gaze.

"I…" Elain traced her fingers along his jaw as she had before, her eyes moving back and forth across his handsome face. "I wanted you to have a nice memory in here…" His eyebrows raised in surprise and Elain release him at last, taking a step back.

"I think you managed that…" he sounded breathless and Elain smiled.

"What did you see?" he asked again, his eyes moving to sweep the room.

"Your life." She replied softly, "Pieces of it…" He nodded, his eyes still sweeping the room and he moved toward the desk as Elain watched.

"I wonder…" Lucien murmured softly as he knelt down and pulled the drawer of the desk out, reaching inside and running his hand along the top, out of sight. She heard a small click and then he withdrew his hand, something clutched inside. As he stood up, looking at what he'd found, Elain took a small step closer. He turned toward her a moment later, reaching a hand out and Elain moved to meet him. Taking one of her hands carefully, Lucien placed something cool into her palm.

Looking at it, Elain drew a soft breath. It was a necklace, delicate and golden. She traced a finger over the tiny golden leaves which framed a setting holding the most beautiful garnet stone she had ever seen. "It's stunning." She told him, lifting her hand to give it back. Lucien glanced at her face then back to her hand.

"I want you to have it."

"Me…?"

"I always intended to give it to my mate, if I ever found…" he paused, "At the time I had been waiting for the bond to snap into place with Jesminda… but clearly she wasn't…" He looked at her again and Elain felt his apprehension. "Sorry, I understand if you don't want to…"

Closing her hand around the necklace, Elain shook her head. "I'd love to wear it." Lucien's expression brightened and he held his hand out. Elain placed the necklace in his hand and turned, sweeping her hair aside so that he could put it on her. She realised that he'd heated it slightly when she felt it settle warm and comfortable around her, the garnet sitting flush against her skin and, lifting a hand to touch it gently, Elain wondered just what her acceptance of this meant to him. She didn't even know what it meant to herself.

When she turned back to Lucien, his eyes moved slowly over her and a pleased expression crossed his features. "The setting suits you." He said gently, and Elain smiled at him.

"…will you show me the garden before you have to go and speak to Eris?" she asked. Nodding, Lucien cast one last glance around his old room before leading her toward the door.

"I'm glad you asked to see up here…"

Elain followed him, glancing back at the room herself. She had learned quite a few things, she supposed, and she had a better understanding of Lucien. "Me, too." She replied, allowing him to take her hand before he closed the door.