Chapter 50

Lucien took Elain upstairs, his hand holding firmly on to hers. He headed for his room, not trusting himself if she were out of his sight. His heart was thundering in his chest, his blood racing in his ears, and he was still angry. He should have killed that mortal son of a whore. The prick deserved to be ripped apart.

When he shoved his door open, Elain followed him into the room. Lucien sent a thought at the fireplace, sending the fire roaring to life and then he turned to look at his mate, her hand still in his. Her eyes were still red and puffy from her tears, and he could still see the evidence of where those tears had fallen. Taking a step closer, Lucien lifted Elain's hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently. "Are you alright, Petal?" he asked, and she nodded. Elain's dark eyes lifted to meet his gaze as she moved closer, going up on her toes to wrap her arms around him and Lucien bent to lift her to himself. As she tightened her arms around his neck, he felt her press her face into his hair, and he began to calm down.

After a few moments, Lucien set Elain back down on her feet and she let him go. He felt her hands slide around to rest on his shoulders as she looked up into his eyes again. One of her hands came up as she traced her fingers down his scar, and Lucien shivered. Elain let that hand fall to his chest, resting over his heart, and he knew that she was listening to it beating. "Do you feel better?" she asked softly and Lucien slid an arm around her waist.

"Me?" he asked, bringing his free hand up to her cheek. Tracing his thumb carefully beneath one of her eyes, her met her gaze steadily. "I was concerned about you."

"I'm alright." She murmured, and he watched her brown eyes move back and forth across his face.

"… you were going to marry that … man."

"Yes." Elain held his eyes, not looking away for a moment. Lucien shook his head, hating to think what her life would have been like with that piece of shit. "He was never like that with me… before…" Letting out a sigh, Lucien supposed he probably wouldn't have been until after they were married and she had no way of getting away from him.

"I wanted to kill him."

This time Elain shook her head. "You would have regretted it."

"Maybe." He said softly, his hand moving from her cheek up into her hair. "Thank you for stopping me." He supposed that he did not want to be the one who had killed somebody she had once been in love with. If she was to love him, he did not need that identity in her mind. "… you didn't get burned, did you?" he looked her over quickly, but she shook her head.

Taking both of her hands, Lucien drew her toward his bed, sinking down to sit on the edge. "Are you going to massage me again?" she asked, and he grinned when he saw her smiling at him.

"You liked that, did you?"

"I think you know that I did."

"Indeed." He began rubbing small circles into her hands with his thumbs, "I think I'm getting pretty good at determining what you like…" Lucien watched Elain blush at those words, and he grinned again.

"I liked you ignoring Vassa's stupid assigned seating at dinner." She said then, and Lucien tilted his head.

"I wasn't about to let Jurian have the best spot at the table." He replied and Elain shook her head.

"She wanted you next to her." Elain's voice was a little shaky and Lucien ran a hand up her arm, shifting closer.

"I didn't want to be next to her."

"She's not going to stop." Elain sounded worried and Lucien ran his hand up and down her arm, trying to be reassuring.

"It doesn't matter, Petal." He said, "No matter what she wants, I won't ever want her."

"…She's a queen…"

Lucien blinked, disbelief coursing through him. "And you…" he murmured, bending to be able to press his lips gently to hers, "… are my mate." His fingers slid back into Elain's hair as she leaned into him, and he gently tilted her face up to him a little more, kissing her again. It didn't take long before Elain's hands slid up his chest, fisting handfuls of his jacket and he lifted his head to smile at her. "… you liked that, too."

"Yes." Her voice was soft, and Lucien would have bet that if he had have been able to hear her heart, it would have been pounding. He watched as she clearly thought about what he had said, and her uncertainty seemed to disappear. After a moment, she smiled at him, bringing her fingers up to trace over his scar as she had earlier. Lucien didn't know why she liked to touch it, and he had never let anyone else do so, but he enjoyed her gentle hands on him and he liked the look in her eyes as she watched her fingers move over his face. "I almost wish Amarantha was still alive…" she breathed and Lucien just about flinched.

"Why?" he asked, his stomach twisting at the thought.

"Because," Elain murmured, her eyes following her fingers down his scar to his jaw again, "I would have liked to look into the eyes of the one who did this to you." She met his gaze then, and Lucien could see something in her brown eyes that he had never seen before. Was that rage?

When Elain's fingers reached Lucien's jaw she traced them slowly back into his hair. She watched him trying to read her, and she figured that he was trying to work out why she would have wanted anything to do with Amarantha. "She got what was coming to her." He said after several moments, and satisfaction spread through Elain, her anger beginning to drain away.

"I've never really hated anyone before." She told him, "But I hate her."

Lucien nodded and she felt his hand on her thigh. "I did as well. But mostly, I just feared her. We all did." From what Elain had seen of Amarantha in the visions she had seen about what she had done to Lucien, she figured that was true.

"Who do you hate?" she asked after a moment and he raised an eyebrow, both his russet and golden eyes focused upon her face.

"I hate a lot of people." His voice was flat and Elain shook her head, her hand sliding down the back of his neck and around to rest on his shoulder.

"Who do you hate not from the Autumn Court?" she clarified.

A funny expression passed across Lucien's face for a moment and he looked away with a frown. Elain just watched his face, waiting for him to answer her. After he had drawn and released several slow breaths, his eyes returned to hers as he let out a sigh. "Ianthe."

"…the… priestess?" Elain asked, feeling tears welling in her eyes that she could do nothing to deny. The one who had betrayed them to Hybern. Lucien nodded and she felt him shudder. Reaching out to him, Elain lay a hand on his forearm, feeling the hard corded muscles beneath his skin shift. "You hated her?" She could feel the loathing rolling off of Lucien in waves and she tilted her head. By all accounts from Feyre Ianthe had been insufferable and annoying, and obviously she had betrayed them resulting in what had happened with the cauldron, but Lucien's reaction to the thought of her suggested something further.

"Yes." He said, the muscles in his arm shifting beneath her hand as he clenched his fist. "I did."

"Why?" she asked, "Because she betrayed us?"

It was fear that hit Elain then down the bond and she frowned. Lucien had dropped his gaze and was looking now somewhere around her shoulder. She just watched his face as he lifted a hand and gently took hold of her thick braid, bringing it around over her shoulder, his fingers tracing it gently all the way to the end. "I hated her for several reasons." He eventually said, his eyes still on her braid.

"Did she hurt you?"

Lucien continued to play with Elain's braid and she watched him trying to work out what to say. "Yes." Fear and anxiety swirled around one another as they slid down the bond toward her, and Elain wondered what the priestess had done to produce such a reaction.