Chapter 52

They stood in silence for several minutes, with Elain having pressed her cheek firmly to Lucien's back as she listened to his breathing slow and he began to calm down. She hadn't intended to let herself into that memory he so clearly despised and she felt like she had intruded on something he shouldn't have had to show anybody if he didn't wish to. She told him as much and both of his hands came to settle over hers against his chest.

"I know you didn't mean to." He replied, his fingers caressing the backs of her hands.

"I can feel how ashamed you are…" Elain murmured, and she felt him straighten slightly at her words. "But I don't understand why…"

"I…"

When he paused Elain went on. "Was it because of how the magic made you act?" she asked, "You wouldn't have touched her otherwise… would you?"

"No." he said softly, but Elain felt something unspoken follow that response. She closed her eyes, holding on to him and waiting for him to continue. "I tried to avoid her… Even after Feyre came back to the Spring Court after you…" his fingers laced with hers, "Even telling her I was a mated male didn't make her back off." Elain just listened, noticing the disgust building within him again. "She kept trying and I kept avoiding her until she tricked me the day Feyre intended to leave." The sudden image of Lucien shackled with his pants undone and his back against a tree in the forest flashed before Elain's eyes and she gasped. "… if Feyre hadn't found us and released me…" He fell silent and Elain tightened her arms around him again, pressing a kiss to his back.

"By the Cauldron." She murmured, "Lucien, this is not something for which you should feel ashamed. That evil bitch assaulted you."

"And I couldn't stop her."

Elain shook her head, pressing her forehead into his back. "Was this why you didn't want me to know?"

"Partly." He replied, "I didn't want it to influence your image of me…" she shook her head again and he went on, "I didn't want you to think less of me; for not being able to stop her in that forest, and for what I did with her in that cave…"

"It doesn't." she murmured, "It never would."

"Are you sure?"

"She forced herself on you." She said firmly, "She is the one who should have been ashamed. That was unforgivable. That's another reason that I wanted you to have the choice to accept the bond." She went on, "It was forced on you as much as it was on me. I didn't want to do that to you." She pressed her lips to his back again and she felt his hands tighten on hers over his chest.

"I would choose you a thousand times over." He breathed, and Elain felt his words vibrate through him. He turned then and Elain didn't move away, her hands sliding to his waist. "A thousand times." He said again.

Elain looked up at Lucien, thinking about her possessiveness lately, and deciding that she never wanted anyone else to ever touch him. Her eyes moved across his handsome face, across his scar and back up to his eyes, both russet and golden. "…are you mine?" she asked, her breath coming more quickly.

"Without question."

Elain nodded, her eyes still on his face. "Then I'm yours."

Lucien didn't so much as blink for several moments, but she heard his heart begin to beat more quickly and then a wide smile spread across his face and relief rushed down the bond to wash over her. Fire erupted in his gaze as he looked down at her and both of his hands came up to gently cup her face. His metallic eye clicked and whirred as Lucien just looked at her, his eyes seemingly trying to take in every detail of her face and Elain managed a small smile at him before he'd bent to kiss her, turning to press her back against the window frame as his lips moved carefully against hers.

The kiss was slow and sweet and Elain found her hands tightening on handfuls of Lucien's jacket at he pressed closer. When he began to lick teasingly at her, Elain parted her lips for him, allowing him to deepen the kiss and then she realised that her hands had come up to pull his jacket open. A moment later she was pushing it off of his shoulders and then he had shrugged out of it, tossing it aside before his hands were on her again, pressing her more firmly into the window frame as her own hands slid up his chest, her nails scratching gently at his shirt. Lucien gave a soft groan into the kiss and then his hands had slid around Elain, drawing her to himself and lifting her from the floor as he turned, carrying her across the room.

Elain slid both of her hands up the back of Lucien's neck and into his crimson hair when he sank down onto his bed, holding her in his lap. She lifted her head to meet his eyes, her breath coming in small gasps, as she met that fire still in his gaze. "I love you." She told him, holding her breath then as she watched him take in her words. She hadn't needed Mor to tell her that was the truth, she could feel the reality of it within herself as she had said the words to him. All she had needed to do was to tell Lucien and the truth of it blossomed within her.

Elain didn't know what she had expected Lucien's reaction to be. Perhaps she had expected him to smile or to kiss her, perhaps she had expected him to say it back, she wasn't sure. She just watched his face however, as he lifted a trembling hand to her cheek, his thumb tracing her skin softly as his eyes flickered back and forth across her face. "Do you, Petal?"

"I do." She murmured, her fingers carding through his hair as she gently pulled his head back sitting higher in his lap in order to be able to bring her lips down to his. Lucien's warm hands slid down her back and Elain found herself pushing him back onto the bedspread, moving over him so that she could grin down at him. The look of awe that she received as he smiled up at her sent a bolt of confidence through her and she allowed one of her hands to shift to his waist, sliding up under his shirt along the smooth warm skin of his stomach.

Lucien let out a breathy groan at her touch and he lifted one of his hands to her cheek again, bringing her eyes back up to his face to meet his gaze. "And I love you."

Elain smiled and bent to kiss him, her hand still stroking appreciatively at his warm skin. "I'm glad." She murmured against his lips, and she felt Lucien give a small laugh a moment before his arms wrapped around her and he rolled them so that she was beneath him on her back. Where Elain had been kneeling over Lucien, holding herself hovering above him, Lucien allowed his weight to settle over Elain, his heat sinking into her as he pressed her into the covers of the bed, pinned beneath him and able to feel every breath he took.

Sliding her hands up Lucien's back, Elain dragged his shirt up until she could pull it over his head, grinning at him when his surprised eyes met hers. When he kissed her again, heat flared within her and her hands traced slowly over his back, appreciating his smooth skin which had gone from warm to hot within moments. Lifting her head to kiss him, Elain gasped as Lucien shifted her up the bed until she felt her head resting on one of the fine pillows, but then he had slid his tongue into her mouth and was licking teasingly at her again and she forgot all about it.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, Elain allowed it all to wash over her. There was no clear distinction between her own desire and what she could feel of Lucien's through the bond, but she didn't care. She had pulled her own dress up as his hands skimmed up her thighs and then she was arching into him when one went between her legs. Somehow she had pulled the laces of his pants loose and was pushing at the waistband, scratching at his hips while trying to tug him closer at the same time. When both of Lucien's hands then slid up her body again, Elain felt him press himself firmly against her and she couldn't help lifting her hips slightly to meet him. Tightening her legs around his waist, she could feel his hard length and how much he wanted her now, both through the evidence pressed against her and through the bond.

"Elain…" he murmured, lips hot against her throat, and Elain gave a soft groan by way of response. Her hands ghosted up Lucien's back as she felt his slide down to pin her hips to the bed as he began rocking against her. Liquid heat began to pool between Elain's thighs and she couldn't hold back a low moan when Lucien licked slowly at a sensitive hollow in her neck. She tried to move to meet him, but he still held her pinned, so she tugged gently at his hair until he lifted his head to kiss her properly again.

"Please…" she breathed, when he'd broken the kiss and returned his lips to her throat. She felt him shake his head, still moving against her.

"This shouldn't happen here…" he murmured, his breath hot against her ear.

"Why?" Elain's hands moved down his back again, and Lucien released her hips.

"This place… some random bed…" he shook his head again, this time pressing a kiss to her cheek before lifting his head to meet her eyes. "It's meaningless… and Nesta is probably already looking for you."

"I don't care."

Lucien's lips quirked in a smile. "I do." He replied, hand coming gently to her cheek, "When I first have you," he breathed, "I do not intend to be rushed…" he brushed his lips lightly against hers, "I aim to take all the time in the world," the words were murmured into the kiss and heat flushed through Elain again. "and ensure that you enjoy every long second of it…"

Elain gave a soft whimper, wondering if it were possible for him to bring her to her edge with just his words, and the smirk that Lucien gave her then suggested that he probably could. "I-I…" she stuttered, not knowing what to say. "You think I should go back to my own room?" she asked, "Like this?" she still wanted him, couldn't stop her hands tugging at him, couldn't deny the need still coursing through her. He smirked at her again.

"What sort of gentleman do you think I am?" he asked, one hand trailing his fingers down her side and then across her stomach, "To think I would leave a Lady so unsatisfied…?" Elain's breath caught at his words and her eyes locked onto his, unable to look away from his hot gaze, when that hand dipped lower and went between her thighs again. She gasped, her own hand flying up to clutch at Lucien's shoulder as his clever fingers sent shivers throughout her body and she spread her legs more widely for him. Her breath began to quicken and her heart raced to catch it and Elain could do nothing but clutch more tightly at Lucien, her eyes on his as he avidly watched her face until she came with a cry, her eyes sliding closed and her back arched as much as it could with his weight still atop her. Lucien continued what he had been doing with his fingers until Elain went still beneath him and opened her eyes to meet his again.

"Fascinating." He murmured, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"What is?" her own voice was nothing more than a whisper as she fought to catch her breath.

"Every expression you just made." He replied, shifting his weight off her and to the side. "I didn't get to see them last time…"

"Hm." Elain supposed he probably wouldn't have with is face between her thighs. If she hadn't already been flushed, she might have blushed at the thought. "I'm glad that you enjoyed that…"

"Almost as much as you did." He was smirking at her again and Elain leaned toward him, her hand coming to rest on his waist.

"Then let me do something for you…" She felt the rush of excitement that reached her down the bond, but Lucien shook his head, taking her hand in his own.

"Oh, Petal." He said, voice gentle. "I look forward to that, but not here…" She blinked, looking at him.

"I don't want to be unfair." She said. He'd given her her release, and she knew that he still needed his own.

"Ah," Lucien smiled at her and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it gently. "I'm quite good at taking care of that myself."

"You don't need to."

"I know." He sat up, taking her with him. "But tonight I will."

Footsteps sounded out in the hallway, and they both looked toward the door. "Everyone is going to bed." Elain said softly and Lucien nodded.

"Nesta will be looking for you."

Sighing, Elain got to her feet, her legs a little shaky. The soft chuckle she heard from Lucien told her that he had noticed, and she threw a mock glare at him. He just winked at her as he made a show of settling back against the pillows and the headboard as he watched her, and Elain wanted nothing more than to climb back onto the bed. She had a quick mental image of herself straddling him and she turned away before he could see the look on her face that she was sure would betray her. "I'll see you in the morning." She murmured.

"What a delight that will be." His voice held a teasing note and Elain smiled at him over her shoulder as she straightened her dress and strode for the door. As she slipped out into the hallway, she allowed herself one last glance at Lucien, still reclining on his bed and watching her, before she pulled the door closed and headed for her own room.