Chapter 53

The moment the door closed after Elain, Lucien was off the bed and walking quickly into the bathroom. He set the tub to fill with cold water and had pulled his pants off a moment later, sighing with relief at finally being free of their tight constraints. Still able to feel hot desire pulsing through him, Lucien leaned against the edge of the tub as he took himself in his hand. A small moan escaped his lips before he even thought to silence it, and he didn't even bother to hold in the next as he ran his hand over himself, his eyes sliding closed as he pictured Elain spread out beneath him. Going over the expressions that had crossed her face as he'd brought her to her fall earlier, Lucien imagined what it would be like to earn those expressions and more has he moved inside of her, hear her moaning his name as she clutched at him as he thrust deeper and deeper…

Lucien came with a cry, spilling himself into his hand and the washcloth he had grabbed at the last moment. When he'd caught his breath, he cleaned up quickly before moving back to the tub, turning the water off before he stepped into it, gritting his teeth against the cold water as he sank down to sit. Cold water was exactly what he needed. He'd let Elain go, but that didn't mean that he hadn't thought about following her. This was what he needed to cool off and settle down so that he would be able to put himself to bed and get whatever rest he was able to achieve. Slipping down, Lucien sank into the water until he was completely submerged.

Holding his breath, Lucien tried to get a hold of himself, not coming up again until he had calmed down. He knew that he could have had Elain, right there on that bed. She had wanted him as much as he had wanted her, he knew that. It would have been all too easy to let her finish getting his pants off and then sink into her. He had already had her in place, in the right position. He could have all too easily pushed into her, not stopping until she screamed for him, but he had made the right choice. Lucien kept repeating that to himself over and over. It had been the right choice to stop it all, to let her go. When it did happen, he wanted Elain moaning his name all night and they just didn't have the time or privacy here. She had said she loved him. His heart thundered at the memory. She had said she loved him, and he wanted the first time he was inside of her to be worthy of that. That couldn't be here, or now, but it would be soon.

When he decided that he had cooled down enough to ensure he wouldn't be wandering off to Elain's room, Lucien ran his hand over his face, smoothing his wet hair back as he let out a sigh. Using the fire within him, he began to slowly heat the water. There was no point going to bed cold. As the water grew more comfortable, Lucien relaxed, sinking back into the tub and closing his eyes. Idly, he wondered why the bond had shown Elain what he had done with Ianthe in that cave during Calanmai. He hadn't seen the point of that, other than to be torturous to him and expose something that he had been deeply ashamed about. But then, Lucien realised that he felt lighter than he had before. He no longer had to try and keep that secret from her, he no longer had to worry about her finding out and what she might think of him. He no longer had to hide the shame. Elain knew what had happened, she had seen it, and she hadn't turned away from him, she hadn't been afraid. She loved him, not because she didn't know what he had done, but despite that knowledge. Perhaps the bond knew what it was doing after all.

By the time Lucien had climbed out of the bath and wrapped his towel around his waist, he was yawning and ready for bed. The heat of the water, once he had gotten it to a good temperature, had drained the energy from him and he couldn't wait to climb under the covers and sink into blissful sleep. He had just moved back into the bedroom, pulling the covers back when there was a small knock at the door and he turned to look at it. Wondering if Elain had come back, he checked that the towel was secure around his waist before he strode toward the door to open it.

He did not expect to see Vassa standing in the hallway and he just blinked in shock. "Lucien." She smiled, pushing past him as she strode inside and he turned to watch her, not knowing what to say. "Close the door." She said, and Lucien shook his head.

"No…"

Vassa grunted and moved closer, pushing the door closed before turning her bright blue eyes on him. Lucien just stood watching her warily. "What do you want, Vassa?" he asked.

"Always so blunt." She smiled, laughing a little. "Weren't you raised in a court?"

"I'm not playing court games with you." He said.

Vassa pouted a little, her eyes moving over him and Lucien was reminded that he was only wearing a towel around his waist. "But they're so fun." She said, "Especially when the other players are as clever as you are…"

"I rarely find that's the case."

She laughed again, looking up at him and Lucien took a step away from her when she took one toward him. She took another step and he hit the door, trying to move back. "Vassa…"

"I do like this wet look…"she said, lifting a hand to his damp hair, "Somehow you're even more handsome…" He flinched when she moved her fingers through his hair.

"Don't…" he shifted sideways, away from her but she followed him.

"I don't understand." She said, blue eyes coming back to his face, "Didn't we always get on so well…"

"Yes." He replied, "You were my friend."

Her eyes were wide as she met his, another pout on her lips. "I want to be more than your friend."

Shaking his head, Lucien continued to edge away from her. "I have a mate." He said firmly.

"Oh," Vassa waved a hand, "That shy little thing." She laughed, stepping closer again, "There's obviously some mistake. She nothing like you, but you and I are the same… We would be wonderful." When Vassa's fingers brushed the edge of his towel, Lucien froze. "Imagine it." She purred, her chest just about pressed to his as she gazed up at him, "You and I would be like fire."

"No." he murmured, pushing her hands away from his towel and slipping out from between her and the wall. Ianthe had done this to him once before, and he wouldn't allow it to happen again.

"Come on," Vassa's hand caught Lucien's wrist, "Don't worry about that silly Mate business. Why waste your time chasing a frigid little mouse like her, when you could have fire?"

"Her name is Elain." Lucien said, steel in his voice now as he pulled his wrist from her grip. "I love her." Vassa just looked at him and he could see disappointment in her eyes. "You should leave." He told her. "Now."

"You think so?"

"I do."

Vassa took a step away from him, and he could easily read the bitterness and anger in her face. Shaking her head, she turned toward the door and yanked it open before stalking out into the hallway. Lucien just watched silently and then closed the door with a heavy sigh. This time he made sure the door was locked before he went back to the bed.

Exhaustion returned as he untucked his towel and threw it over a nearby chair before slipping between the sheets of his bed. As he tucked the covers around himself, closing his eyes, the urge to get up and go to find Elain returned. He shouldn't have let her leave. Even if all they had done was lay curled around one another as they slept, that would have been preferable to this. He wanted her with him and he didn't know how he was going to get any rest without her.