Chapter 56

Getting out of the bathtub, Elain dried off quickly before slipping her nightdress over her head and lacing up the front. Idly she strolled to her vanity and sank down as she began pulling the pins from her hair. After they had eaten, Nesta had been more than eager for them to retire to their rooms for the night, and Elain was sure this was to avoid further conversation about the status of her not-quite-relationship with Cassian. She couldn't blame her elder sister; discussing such things was beyond difficult when you hadn't sorted it out in your own head. Elain hoped that Nesta did sort it out, though. The way that Cassian looked at her sister had taken Elain by surprise the first time she had seen it. Surely Nesta had noticed it herself. Maybe that was why she was resisting it, Elain thought. Maybe it had frightened her.

Dragging her brush through her hair, Elain glanced at the door. She hadn't heard the others return to the Town House, but she could hear Lucien's heartbeat. He was in his room. They still hadn't talked about where they would sleep, only that they would be together, so she didn't know if he was expecting her to come to him, or if he was getting ready to come to her. It wasn't really that late yet, so maybe he just wasn't ready yet. Tossing her brush onto the vanity, Elain got to her feet.

Running her hands over her face, she strode across the room and then back. Maybe she was meant to go to him. What if he was waiting for her? What if she got into bed and fell asleep waiting for him while he was waiting for her and then he thought that she had changed her mind? "Stop it." Elain muttered to herself. "You're being ridiculous."

Glancing around the room, Elain spotted a pile of books on the nightstand and moved to pick up the one sitting on top. It belonged in Rhys' library. Perhaps she should take it back instead of pacing back and forth while she waited for Lucien to appear or for herself to make the decision to go to him.

Hurrying for her door, Elain carried the book down the dark stairs and up the hallway as she headed for the shelves to which the book belonged. Wishing that she had brought a light, or could create light the way that Lucien could, she was thankful to see that the faint embers in the fireplace were still glowing enough for her to see by as she skirted around a chair she almost certainly would have walked into in the dark. She was able to locate where the book belonged by running her hand along the book spines, and then she headed back for the door.

A flicker of shadows by one of the couches made Elain jump and she stifled a shriek by clamping a hand over her mouth. "Sorry…" Azriel's quiet voice came out of the darkness and Elain relaxed. "I did not think you would see…"

"I nearly didn't." Elain replied, squinting at his shifting form in the darkness. Shadows seemed to solidify and another face peered at her from the black. Ceridwen. Oh. "I… I was just returning a book…" Elain turned back to the hallway. "Sorry… Goodnight…"

Silence followed Elain as she hurried back up the stairs and to her bedroom. Wondering if anybody else knew about that, she pushed her door closed and had just resumed pacing when a soft knock sounded. Walking quickly to open it, she had already begun her reassurances. "I won't say anything, I promise-" the words stuck when she found herself looking up at Lucien.

"About what?" he asked, grinning at her.

"Oh… don't worry…" Elain stepped back to let him in and smiled when she saw the books tucked under his arm.

"Were you expecting someone else?" he asked as she closed the door.

"No." Elain said, "Although I was wondering if you were coming here or if I was meant to go to you." She turned to follow him across the room.

"I prefer this." He said, "You're in here… aspects of you… you live here…" he smiled as his eyes flickered around the room, "There's nothing of mine in my room other than a few clothes and books…"

"You don't live here." She said and he nodded.

"No." he agreed, "So, this is better…"

"What did you bring?" she asked, gesturing at the books he was still holding.

Lucien's smile brightened and he lifted them for her to see. "The one I told you about the other day…" he held it out for her, "And one that I've just begun. Can't tell if it's good yet or not."

"Do you want to read in bed?" she asked, trying not to grin at him. She couldn't help the blush she felt creep across her cheeks at the look he gave her in response.

"Unless you had something else in mind…"

"No…" Elain ran her fingers across the cover of the book he had given her before moving for the bed and pulling the sheets back. She didn't understand why she was feeling nervous. Perhaps she was building this up in her mind more than she should be. It wasn't as if they were about to have sex. They were just going to share a bed, which they had done before.

But not like this. This was the first step in changing something about their relationship. This was about the future. Swallowing, Elain slipped beneath the covers, settling herself against her pillows as Lucien joined her.

Elain watched him as he smoothed the covers down, placing his book on his lap. He must have sensed her eyes on him because his hands paused and then he turned his head toward her. "…If you'd prefer I go…"

"What? No."

Lucien's eyes narrowed as he looked at her face. "I can feel your unease."

Elain reached over and took one of his hands, linking her fingers through his and resting them both together on the covers between them. "I want you here." She said softly, "I don't know why I feel nervous, but it's not because I want you to leave. I've been looking forward to this all afternoon."

"Me too."

Elain squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. "Do you want to read to me?" she asked and Lucien smiled widely back.

"Absolutely." He moved quickly, slipping his hand from hers and shifting closer to wrap his arm around her shoulders, allowing Elain to settle comfortably against him. "Here…" With his free hand he picked up the book he'd brought for her and flipped it open. "Don't fall asleep now," he murmured, and she could feel his breath against her hair, "I won't know where you're up to in the story…"

"I'll try not to." She replied, already feeling herself relax into his warmth. Adjusting the covers around them, Elain leaned her head back against Lucien's shoulder. She no longer felt uneasy or nervous; this felt comfortable and relaxing.

As Lucien began to read, Elain smiled gently. His voice was low and soft and steady and a peace settled over Elain that she usually only felt out in the garden. She hadn't felt this at home and sure of herself and the way everything was since she had been living with her father and her sisters back home before any of this had happened. Lucien turned a page with one hand while his other slid along Elain's wrist and contentedness slid down the bond to her from him as well. Turning her head slightly she looked up at him, her eyes moving across the lines of his face, watching as he continued to read softly to her, his own eyes moving across the pages of the book.

"Are you listening?" he asked, his lips stretching into a smile before his eyes flicked down to meet hers.

"Yes."

"Well, I hope so, because all this backstory is important for lat-" Elain stretched up and cut him off with a kiss. She felt Lucien's surprise for only a moment before he smiled into the kiss and one his hands came lightly to her cheek. An instant later he lifted his head a little, "Are you trying to distract me?" he asked before pressing his lips lightly to hers again, "Because we're only about five pages in…"

"I'm sure it's very good…" Elain murmured.

"Mhmm." Lucien nodded, kissing her again, "It is."

Elain gave a happy sigh. "Okay." She breathed, settling back down against him again. "Go on…"

Lucien pressed a kiss to Elain's temple, his free arm tightening around her again. "As you wish." He said softly, opening the book back up to where he had been. He continued to read, and Elain listened, comfortable and content as she trailed her fingers over the corded muscles of his forearm, and she decided that this should be how they finished every day from now on.