Chapter 72

Catching Lucien's sleeve as he moved for the door, Elain drew a sharp breath. She glanced at the door, the gentle warm spring sun coming through and bathing the entrance hallway in its soft glow. At any other time, it would have been inviting, but dislike coursed through her, and she didn't want Lucien to walk out that door and into that light. His hand came to her waist and she looked away from the door, up into his gentle gaze.

"Elain…"

"I know." She murmured, before biting her lip.

"I'll be back tomorrow."

"I know."

Lucien's hand came up to her cheek, and he smiled at her. "If you keep yourself busy, it will seem like no time at all."

"I doubt that."

Lucien's eyes shifted past Elain, over her head, and she knew that he was looking at Tamlin. "You're safe here, Petal. That's what counts."

"Make sure you're safe." She murmured, her fingers tracing the embroidery on his sleeve. Lucien looked down at her again, russet and gold eyes firm on her.

"I'll do my best."

She was trying not to cry. Swallowing thickly, she blinked rapidly as she looked back to the door, hoping that he would think that the bright light was what was making her eyes shine. When he stepped closer, his hand sliding around to the back of her neck, Elain knew that he hadn't bought it. She sniffed, and looked back up at him. "I'm just worried." She murmured, "I keep thinking about when we were trying to leave… What if one of them surprises you again before you even get to the house…?"

"That was Beron's Court." Lucien replied, "I don't believe Eris is the same…"

Elain nodded her head, wanting to believe that. "Okay." She murmured, her fingers sliding further up his sleeve when he moved closer. His other hand slid around her waist as he backed her against the wall in the hallway, and she looked up at him a moment before he kissed her. Elain tightened her hands around his upper arms as Lucien's fingers stroked her jaw, moving down her throat. When he broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers, and Elain opened her eyes. "Promise…" she murmured.

"I promise." He said gently, "I'll be back tomorrow."

Elain stroked her fingers down his cheek, tracing his scar by feel rather than sight, and then he had straightened, stepping back from her. Letting her hand drop to her side, Elain just watched him, still leaning back against the wall as she did so. She could still feel the fear coming off of him, and now it was mixing with her own. He was watching her carefully and, knowing what he needed, Elain gave him a smile, watching as his eyes flickered back and forth across her face, and then further over her, taking her in. He smiled in return, giving her a wink, as he took another step back, and Elain pressed herself back into the wall more firmly in order to keep herself from shaking. The instant Lucien stepped through the door, he turned, striding into the light and then he was gone.

"Bye…" she breathed, trying to force herself to breathe slowly and evenly. She did not like this. She did not like it at all.

When Tamlin stepped into her line of sight, Elain turned her head toward him. She had forgotten that the High Lord had been there. He hadn't spoken or said or done anything, although she reminded herself that he had just seen everything that had happened. His green eyes turned her way and Elain saw him raise an eyebrow at her. "…do you have plans for the day?" he asked, "To keep yourself busy?"

"I…" she cleared her throat a little. "I thought I'd go back into he gardens and look for anything else I might add to my book… I'm rather better now at sketching them…"

Nodding, Tamlin fastened his hands behind his back. "Would you like company?" he asked, "I could tell you about any of the flowers you'd like to know about…"

"No…" Elain shook her head a little, "Thank you, but I would rather spend some time with my own company…"

"Fair enough."

Pushing herself from the wall, Elain wanted to get outside, get away, as quickly as she could. She was still struggling to get herself under control. She wanted to cry, but wouldn't do it in front of Tamlin. Even as she felt Lucien winnow and disappear from anywhere near her, his fear did not lessen and nor did her own.

Tamlin just watched her as she moved for the door herself then, but then she was outside in the sun and she turned for the gardens. Being in a garden always made her feel better and, considering she felt pretty terrible just then, she was hoping that the most splendid garden she had ever encountered would be able to help improve her mood. Breathing deeply, Elain hurried into the garden, walking as swiftly and quickly as she could until she was surrounded by the lush garden beds and the sweet scent of all of the flowers floating on the warm air. That gentle spring sun was shining down upon the world and, as she pressed a hand over her mouth and closed her eyes to hold in any tears that might fall, Elain sank to the soft grass.

She could feel how far away Lucien was now. She could feel his distance. She could feel his fear and anxiety. Nothing about this sat well with her, and she couldn't work out why. It didn't make sense that Eris would ask him to return. What was the point? His eldest brother may have helped save their lives when they had tried to escape the Autumn Court last time, but that didn't mean that he would be keen on family reunions, or that he was interested in having Lucien over for family dinners. They had no idea where Malak was, or if was still in the Autumn Court. If he had been exiled after his attempted coup, where would he have run to? It was possible that he was even still hanging around the court, on the outskirts. What if Lucien ran into him? Thoughts like that would make her sick, Elain decided. She couldn't afford to think like that.

She wanted Nesta.

Elain sank back until she was laying in the grass, staring at the sky. She hadn't spoken to her sister in days, and she missed her. She missed both of them, but she wasn't used to not having Nesta right there, always, when she needed her. So much had happened since she had left the Night Court for Winter. She wanted to tell her sister, talk about it with her. She wanted Nesta to tell her now that everything would be okay, because, if Nesta said something, then it would be so.

If she sent word, she knew that her sister would come. It would be too late, Elain thought. By the time the message reached the Night Court, and Nesta had time to get to her, the day would be over and she would only need to go to bed. Lucien had promised that he would be back tomorrow, and she could handle it if it was only a day. She would try and keep herself busy like he had suggested.

With her new resolve fresh in her mind, Elain go to her feet and moved toward a nearby garden bed where an interesting yellow flower was growing low to the earth. She hadn't seen it the last time they had visited, and she thought that it would be challenging enough to try and draw to occupy her mind.

By the time the sun began to sink in the sky, Elain was hungry and just a little bit dirty after rummaging around in the garden all day. She headed inside and found that dinner had already been laid out. Tamlin had insisted that she sit down, dirty or not, and eat something, especially as she and Lucien had not come down for dinner the night before. Elain had been sure she had blushed at his reasoning, but he had given no further indication that he knew why that may have been.

Dinner had passed quickly and Elain had eaten far more than she would have expected. She had just gotten to her feet to go upstairs and wash herself off when a sudden wave of shock reached her down the bond and she froze, her eyes wide. As quickly as it had come it was gone and, try as she might, Elain could get nothing further from the bond. There was no further emotion, and no image or context to with what she had felt. Shock wasn't so bad, she figured. She expected that much about the court and how it had changed might be shocking. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Shuffling upstairs and into the bath that had been waiting for her, hot and inviting, Elain was unable to shift her mind to anything else. She kept trying, again and again, to see something further, to ask Lucien to send her something, anything, so that she would know how he was. There was nothing.

She went to bed, worried and disappointed. The only comfort that she had was that by the time she woke up it would be the next day and she would be able to wait for him to return. He had promised, after all.

Sleep was not far away, after her long day out in the garden, and Elain welcomed it as it washed over her. She had not expected to wake just after midnight with a jarring vision swimming in her mind. She knew, without question, that she was looking through Lucien's eyes. It was his hands in front of her that she saw, large and familiar. The heavy iron bars that he clutched, however, were less than familiar, but far more chilling.