Chapter 85

They had spent the afternoon and the evening talking with the others, and sitting around the dinner table for hours as wine was poured and the group joked and teased one another. Lucien knew that what he was seeing was exactly why Feyre had preferred the Night Court to Spring, and why she had chosen to leave, and he could see that Elain had been well and truly accepted into that group, and that they considered her one of them. He knew that he was welcome, and that his presence among their group was accepted, but they did not see him as one of their own, and he wondered if they ever would. Throughout dinner, Lucien had participated in conversations, and watched the interplay among the group. He had found it more difficult than he had anticipated to get used to sharing Elain with the others again, and his eyes had followed her for most of the evening. The only way he had really managed to control himself was by repeating in his mind over and over again that he would have her all to himself when they went upstairs for bed. He knew that he would be the one who got to lay with her, hold her, and stroke her hair, and that he wouldn't have to share her or let anyone else near her until they got the next morning for breakfast. Knowing that she was to be all his, he was able to remain in his chair, keep his hands to himself, and act as if he wasn't itching to wrap her in his arms and snarl at anybody else who so much as glanced her way.

He had asked Feyre, in a low tone, if she might provide them with one of her shields to prevent anybody listening in to their room, and he had tried to look as innocent as possible when she raised an eyebrow at him. It wasn't as if Lucien intended to jump Elain the moment they were alone, but rather the idea of nobody being able to listen to them speak or anything else made him feel as if he could have her even more to himself, and he just wanted to be as alone with her as he possibly could be.

When they had entered the bedroom, Elain had gone for a bath, and Lucien had set about unpacking what they would need for the night and for the next morning. They were meant to be heading for The Summer Court, so he was sure to choose clothing that would be best suited to that hot climate. He had just been setting the book he had been reading to her on the bed when Elain emerged from the bathroom in a silken nightgown, and he had hurried into the bathroom to have his own bath.

By the time he emerged, Elain had braided her golden-brown hair up onto her head, and was pulling the bed covers back. She gave him a warm smile and he crossed the room swiftly to join her. Elain picked up the book her had put on the bed and slid between the sheets, Lucien doing the same with a smile as she moved to settle against him. He took the book from her hands and opened it to the place he had marked. As Elain settled her head against his shoulder, Lucien began to read, calming himself as he relaxed at finally getting to have her in his arms, against himself, with nobody else wanting her attention. Mate. Mate.

"I'm glad," he told her, setting the book aside, "that this time when I awake, I can be sure you'll still be beside me…" It had seemed like so long ago that he had awoken in the dark, a knife to his throat and Elain held out of reach, but it had only been early that morning. She nodded her head, cheek against his chest.

"Of course I will be." She murmured.

"I… would have done anything." Lucien lifted one of his hands to run his fingers across her shoulder. "Anything to get you out of that situation."

"I thought you were going to die." Elain said softly, one of her own hands sliding across his stomach and up his chest. "I knew that they had come to kill you, and that you knew that… but I thought it was actually going to happen." She turned her head to look up at him and Lucien met her wide brown eyes, "He had me held so tightly that I couldn't move at all, and I couldn't do anything and Connal had that knife to you…"

Lucien kissed the tip of her nose. "They thought they were going to use you to hurt me." He said softly, and Elain's hand slid across his shoulder. She cuddled into him, one of her legs sliding across his as she settled more comfortably, and he could feel her breath against his neck.

"If they had gotten what they had wanted…" her voice was barely more than a whisper and Lucien shook his head, his hand coming to rest at her waist. "I wouldn't have been able to handle it. You're my mate…" his heart quickened at the words, and her lips pressed gently to the side of his throat, "I need you." She settled her cheek against him once more, "I need to be able to curl up with you like this every night. Forever."

"Of course, Petal." He replied, "I am only too happy to be your personal pillow for the rest of eternity." He smiled when he felt her give a soft laugh, and his hand slid from her waist, down over her hip, to her backside. She laughed again, her hand tightening on his shoulder.

"Lucien…" she murmured, and he could hear a hint of hesitation in her voice.

"Yes?"

"I want to… try… something."

"Oh?" he glanced down at her, curious.

"I… I'm not… I mean, I… it's… I've read about it, well, it's been in books I've read… and…" He could feel her uncertainty now, and he turned his head a little more to press a kiss to her forehead.

"Petal, you can try anything you like."

Elain was still for several moments, and Lucien had just begun to wonder if she had fallen asleep, but then she lifted her head, meeting his eyes as she pushed herself up, and then she had slid over until she was atop him. Lucien held her gaze, sure that his heart had stopped beating altogether as he struggled to draw a proper breath. "Is this okay?"

Lucien nodded, his hand sliding up her thigh. "Absolutely."

He wasn't entirely certain he knew what she wanted until she pulled her night dress up and over her head and dropped it down beside the bed, and he could do nothing but watch as she lifted herself on to her knees so that she could begin undoing his pants. When she had them loose, Lucien was able to gather himself enough to slip them off. He was already hard, and he drew a quick hiss of a breath when Elain wrapped one of her gentle hands around him. She looked up at him then, dark eyes questioning, and then she was adjusting herself over him once more.

"Is this right?" she asked, "Do I just…"

"Yeah…ah… slowly…" Lucien could barely get the words out when she'd settled herself in the right position, and both of her hands came to brace against his chest as she carefully sank down onto him. Lucien's eyes were locked on Elain's face, watching her bite her lower lip as she took him inside of her. She was still then, her hands pressed to his chest, and her breath coming quickly. He lifted a hand of his own to her cheek, trying to be reassuring and let her know that everything was okay, and that they could wait until she was ready. Her dark eyes met his again and Lucien gave her a small smile.

They didn't speak. Elain just held his gaze as she slowly, cautiously, shifted her hips, a light frown appearing between her eyes as she did so. She repeated the movement, and her lips parted slightly as she drew a small breath. She did it again, and Lucien's hands went to her hips as he bit back a soft groan. Gently, he guided her hips, showing her how to move more smoothly, and at the correct angle and, before long, she was doing it on her own, leaning forward to brace herself more heavily against his chest as she did so.

Lucien forced himself to remain silent, listening to Elain's gasping breath every time she moved on him. He could see that her face was flushed, and he could see that blush working its way down her throat and to her chest. He was careful not to make a sound, enjoying that all he could hear was her gasping breath with each movement, the rhythmic creaking of the old bedframe, and the occasional whimper that fell from her lips when her eyes closed and she leaned further into him, trying to balance herself.

Taking her hands in his, Lucien linked their fingers together, letting her use his grip on her to further her balance, and to allow her to sit up slightly, making her movement over him easier. Looking up at her, he almost found it hard to believe that this was his life. That this wasn't something that was happening to someone else. It was still surprising to him that a creature as beautiful and sweet as Elain could be his mate, could actually want him. His eyes moved over her and another wave of hot desire flushed through him. He tried to resist rolling them until she was beneath him, but then she had reached over him to grab hold of the headboard, using it to give herself more leverage, more power behind her movements, and Lucien nearly lost it.

Both of his hands went to her hips and he began pulling her to meet him as his hips lifted to push into her. Elain gasped and he heard her adjust her grip on the headboard before her rhythm changed and she began rotating her hips in a new way. Groaning, Lucien's eyes closed and he thrust up into her again. Elain was whimpering with every move she made now, her breath nothing but shallow gasps, and Lucien trailed his fingers slowly over her hot skin, feeling her tighten around him. He knew that it was coming, would have known even if he hadn't have been able to feel her clearly down the bond. He felt her shudder a moment before she grabbed at his shoulder, letting out a loud cry, her movement over him stuttering before her followed her with a choked cry of his own. Elain stilled, still leaning over him, panting, and he slid a hand up her hot back. She let go of the headboard then, her other hand sliding down to his chest as she lowered herself to lay flush against him.

"Was that like it was in you books?" he murmured, unable to help a smirk. Elain let out a breathy laugh against his skin.

"Better…"

"I'm glad you think so." He ran a hand up and down her back again, breathing slowly and evenly, trying to get his heartbeat back under control. He was still inside of her, and he would happily remain there all night if he could. She made no attempt to move, so he just continued to stroke her. "Good thing I asked Feyre to shield the room…"

Elain laughed again, turning her head to press a kiss to his throat. He shuddered slightly. "Good thinking." She murmured, "We might still need it yet."